- Subs created by: David Coleman. - (Owl hooting) (Crickets chirping)
We've been waiting for you.
Watch our numbers grow!
Mole leaders make it so!
Can you stop screaming?
I'm trying to watch so you think you can scream.
(Woman screaming on TV)
Ah-ah-ah-ah, put the donuts down.
And step away from the box.
I was just going to take one.
- Mmm-hmm. - Or two.
One or two dozen.
I stopped eating Moleos when I was 12, and..
My teeth still hurt when I look at 'em.
And you're supposed to sell the boxes of donuts
before you get your business mole badge, remember?
Sell, not eat. (Horn honks)
Sounds like your ride's here. Come on. Let's get your sweater on.
Do I have to go to the Mini Moles with the Tornado Twins?
They're crazy, Mom!
Oh, honey. Come on. They're not that bad.
(Knocking)
See? They're even knocking at the door this time.
Hi, guys.
(Both shouting)
Target goof eliminated!
That's my Mom!
That's my Mom! That's my Mom!
I'm Ethan, I need a babysitter!
- Woman: Boys! - (Both screaming)
Boys, get back here!
Oh, hey, Sam! How are you?
Oh, I love your blouse.
Dirk! Put it down! (Crashing)
It's Moleo season again.
All that sugar.
Oh, yeah. Times two.
And Ross gets back on Sunday, so I have three days
to find a father-proof hiding spot for the donuts.
Are you still thinking of putting them in the wall?
Oh! I put ours in the bunker out back.
If they're in the house, Ross will smell them.
He has a nose for Moleos.
(Crashing) Oh! Sure, but hurry up.
Just before the boys find your matches.
So are we still on for the waltzing wives of Whitechapel tomorrow?
Yes! Yeah. No, oh, darn it.
Our babysitter had a little breakdown.
Again.
But, you.
You're old enough to babysit..
- No! No! - Oh, no.
Done! (Laughs) He'll be fine!
I'll just drop the boys off when I pick your Mom up.
Boys! Sugar bomb, 12 o'clock!
(Both screaming)
(Clears throat)
You are a lifesaver!
So, you'll let me babysit her kids?
Well, I thought that maybe you deserve a second shot.
That's okay. I'll call Sarah for backup.
Wow.
She's the girl next door.
Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
Just for me.
What you get is what you see.
No more "maybe it's Maybelline".
She can give you everything you need.
She's the girl next door.
Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
Just for me.
Thanks so much for coming, Sarah.
Okay, this'll be great.
It'll be fun.
Just call me if you smell smoke.
Okay. (Doorbell rings)
Okay.
So I have to babysit you while you babysit two nine-year-olds?
Seriously? How bad can they be?
Imagine a giant piranha that walks on land.
Now give it rabies. And a brother.
I'd rather babysit the piranhas.
Ethan, you remember the boys?
They're being so nice and quiet!
They're up to something, I know it!
So, let's go, shall we, before they, you know..
No, I don't know. Why are we running?
Ooh, kids drawing.
Real scary. Where should we hide?
I'm keeping this at the ready.
Looks like a mole made a hole in this.
Only one thing to do.
Time to go.
Sarah: They're so quiet.
Yeah, too quiet.
I bet they're drawing up a plan to destroy us.
Devising a sinister trap that at any second's gonna suddenly get us.
Just wait for it.
Wait for it.
Benny! (Both gasping)
Oh! Benny!
Boo-ya!
Hey! Is this for me barfing down your chimney?
No, no. I just.. Wait, you what?
Nothing.
I'm here to help battle the Tornado Twins.
Yeah, me too. Are they here yet? I don't see anybody bleeding.
See for yourself.
Hey, boys, this is Benny and Rory.
Both: Hello, Benny and Rory.
Whoa.
That is a tornado of weird.
Okay. Kids speaking in unison. That's never good.
(Knocking) (All gasping)
Are we going or what? I'm starving.
Coming, Erica.
Wait. Going? Going where?
New safety rule from The Council. They want us to hunt in pairs.
So I have to watch this "vegetarian Vampire"
pick up her blood salad from a delivery truck.
Beats watching you choose your meal..
"He's so stringy. He's too old. I hate her outfit".
People with bad taste taste bad.
What?
More stalk, less talk.
Ethan: You're supposed to be my backup.
You can't leave me alone with them!
What, are you afraid they're gonna color outside the lines?
(Snickers)
I won't be long.
And if you need backup, I'm sure Jane can handle it.
Right, Jane?
You betcha.
What now? Do I check their crayons for sharp edges?
Dude, relax. Can't you see?
They know what they're up against.
In their eyes, we're the grown-ups.
Yeah! Grown-ups!
- Let's go play video games! - Yes! Yes!
Seriously, what good's pre-paying for a delivery if the guy doesn't show up?
What's the point of having fangs if your friend stops you from biting people?
That guy was driving, Erica!
It's called "meals on wheels". Sarah. And he had his window open.
He also had a mullet. I thought you were a food snob.
Well, it's not like we're at a buffet. There's hardly anyone on the streets.
Actually, there's no one on the streets.
(Kids chanting) Moles all around.
Watch our numbers grow.
Kill the Queen, destroy the hive.
But it's more fun shooting Rory!
Not for Rory!
Should we check on the kids?
Hey, creep brothers!
If you're okay, say nothing.
They're fine.
(Announcer) Roads outta Whitechapel are snarled.
What's going on? Should we be in a state of total panic?
Are our very lives in danger?
Stay tuned and we'll let you know. News eye 5 will keep you alive!
(Chuckling) And in more delicious news, it's Moleo time again!
So it's time to ditch that diet and enjoy the Moleriffic taste of..
Goodbye.
Who wants a doughnut?
My Mom hid them but I saved one!
Ethan: Guys, stick to the plan.
Conquer the Queen, then release the colony!
Feeling faint.
Rory! Snacks!
I'm on it!
Guys?
Those boys ain't right.
That one painted my face!
Wait, wait, it was that one.
Darn. Which one's the evil one?
Hey, little dude. What's going on?
Moles in the ground.
Moles all around.
Kids: Val Mudrap is coming.
- They said who now? - We've got a problem.
Your Mom's home.
Your Mom was so busy yelling, she didn't even notice Sarah gone..
Or Jane acting weird.
Well, I'll tell you what's weird..
My vision had snack food in it.
Dude, I have visions of food all the time.
Pizza, milk shakes, pizza-flavored milk shakes.
And every time I searched Val Mudrap,
my computer froze on that picture of a red door.
(Indistinct voices)
Why is everyone leaving?
Well, hello, boys. Classes are canceled.
All the teaching staff appear to have left.
Left? Left where?
No idea. They just got up and took off.
Not even a word of thank-you for the donuts I got them for the staff meeting.
Well, at least they left me one.
Did you just see that? Do you know what this means?
Yes! Of course! Sort of.
Nope. Just tell me what it means.
It must be the donuts.
They're making all the adults leave town and turning the kids into droneos.
I wonder what it does to teenagers?
I don't wanna know!
- Why did you buy.. - A moment of weakness, all right?
Speaking of weak, here comes the hot-mess express.
(Hissing)
Ah!
She's so hungry she can't control her fangs and I'm so hungry I can't control her!
(Hissing)
What are you geeks gawking at?
You guys hungry? You want some of my lunch? It's fresh.
(Squeaking)
Ah! Mr. Lunchy! No!
No, Mr. Lunchy! Stay!
Sarah: No rats! We need real food and this town is running on empty.
So? Just fly over to the next town and get some takeout.
The Vampire Council says hunting outside of Whitechapel can cause a turf war.
Can't you just take a small nibble of a student?
Not me, of course.
Teenagers are full of junk food and hormones.
Do you have any idea what that can do to your skin?
She's a picky eater. And my blood-delivery guy vanished.
Whatever's happening, un-happen it!
Okay, we need to go home and come up with a plan.
Yeah.
Wait!
No adults?
I have been dreaming of this moment my whole life.
We can do anything we want!
Anything!
Yeah!
So this is the moment you've been waiting for?
Ethan, this pizza is topped with another pizza.
With no manager to stop him, they just made it for me!
Mmm. You can really taste the gumballs in the middle!
Is that my Mom?
Where's she going?
Mom! Where are you going!
Ethan! Come back!
Mom!
Ethan.
I dropped my pizza.
I think we found the troop leader.
Let me handle this.
Okay.
Possessed and possibly rabid miniature citizens of Whitechapel,
I am your new King.
- Wow! - Benny?
- That's never worked before. - I think we should run.
Run? Why? They're just little kids.
Okay, now, who wants to play "make the King a sandwich"?
I think they'd rather make the King into a sandwich.
Let's go!
(Shouting)
What do we do? We can't hit kids!
Ow! I know! But I want to. I really want to!
Should we call for help?
No! I don't want anybody witnessing this kinder beat-down!
Wave to the camera, guys! You're gonna be Internet stars!
Sarah! Help! This is serious!
Sarah: In a sec!
I'm enjoying you getting your butts kicked by ankle-biters.
Ow! They're biting my ankles!
Okay, this is serious.
Fine.
I think there's a tooth in my shoe!
The kid had braces.
Hey, they're stronger than they look, okay?
I could use a Moleo myself. Maybe I have some left.
(Stomach rumbling) Don't talk about eating!
Whoa!
Benny, your Grandma's blood substitute.
I know it tastes like shoes, but does she have any left?
Grandma is long gone. She has a pack-a-day habit in Moleo season.
Last time I touched her stuff she put a shrunken head in my lunch.
That guy wouldn't shut up.
I mean, "okay! Let's go!"
No, wait.
That Alpha brat is hoarding every kid in town.
Now Jane's home all alone.
We can't fight anyone when we're this weak.
You get Jane. We'll get food.
Okay.
- You good? - I'm up.
You can let go now.
Jane?
Jane!
Are you okay?
Doors in the floor, moles by the score, Val Mudrap forever more.
That's not okay.
I must go. Val Mudrap summons us.
Val who?
Jane, just snap out of it.
Holes in the ground, moles all around.
Watch our numbers grow.
Oh, no, sis, sorry.
You gotta stay put, okay?
(Phone rings)
Benny, what's up?
Ethan, get over here.
I think Grandma left something that might be useful.
Also, the girls are looking at me like I'm a burrito.
I have to stay and watch Jane. She's got the doughnut fever.
Find anything you can about the moles or Val Mudrap.
Anything, okay?
- Benny! - Whoa!
What do you think you're doing? Only Benny can "Benny"!
Says you.
Whoa, looks like Grandma left mid-snack attack.
Yes, but she left us this.
"Sacred Order of the Mole". By Val Mudrap.
Wow. Some of these moles look delicious.
Skim through it. Look through anything that can
help us figure out what those moles are up to.
What about this, Benny? It's red!
Can't you make this into blood with one of your spells?
- That's not how it.. - (Both hissing)
Sure! Let's give her a try.
- Okay. - (Chanting)
Gimme, gimme!
Ugh!
Whoa.
- Both: What? - Nothing!
Rory: Is this a clue?
"The mothers and fathers departed from the village,"
"the children played for eternity".
"All hailed Muldvaarp, child-beast, charmer,"
"keeper of the key to the underworld".
Looks like a clue to me.
Muldvaarp? Nice name.
No wonder it hates its parents.
Whoa! Clue number two!
I'm on fire!
It's the girl that beat you up!
I wouldn't say "beat up". I had a stomach full of pizza!
There's that name again. Val Mudrap.
It's an anagram from Muldvaarp.
It uses the same letters too!
Ethan needs to see this.
- Wow! You guys have.. - Beautiful eyes!
- Race ya! - Okay!
(Door opens)
Whoa, what happened? Where's Jane?
Huh? I turned my back on her for one second and the next thing I know she's gone.
- And I have this killer headache. - Dude, she grilled your cheese.
Recognize this little rug rat?
Her name is Val Mudrap, AKA Muldvaarp.
She likes taking little kids on field trips to the underworld.
I found the clue! It was fun!
"Mini-mole club house collapses".
One nine-year-old witness said the building
"got sucked into a door in the floor".
Where is this place? I saw it in my vision!
It was in the old part of town.
We need to go there. Fast.
How can you have so much meat in your freezer and none of it be human?
Hey. Cool tails.
Both: Tails?
Come on. Jane's got a good head start.
Tails?
We've been waiting for you.
Jane.
Okay, guys. Drink this. May give you a bit of a boost.
Erica: I ought to kick your butt for turning us into freaks.
Yeah, because before these wickedly awesome upgrades,
you guys were totally normal.
Ow! It's like sandpaper!
Guys! Quit it!
All hail Muldvaarp!
And now..
We open the door to eternal freedom!
Okay, Muldvaarp's the guardian of the door, keeper of the key.
We've gotta get the key away from her and she can't open that door.
How do you two feel?
Better. But I don't think I can fight.
Then you get those kids out of here.
I'm going after my sister.
(Clunking)
Single file to eternal freedom!
Get away from my sister!
Where are all my little ones?
They're in better hands now.
Relax, you Moleo maniacs!
Erica, stop yelling at them!
Why won't they just nap?
I got this.
(Chanting)
Oh!
Oh, that stings!
You guys are on your own!
Benny!
Knock it off, Rory!
You're ruining my fun! Stop it!
Why don't you make me?
Ow!
This is..
So painful!
Jane, come on!
Stop!
Ow! My everything hurts!
Ethan: Rory! Grab Jane!
That's mine! You're cheating!
I must go through the door. Muldvaarp is coming.
- I can't hold her! - It's all yours, creep-weasel.
No fair! No fair!
Ha! How do you like them donuts?
I don't know what happened, but I'm glad you guys saved me.
Don't worry. You're safe.
Everything's back to normal..
Ish.
Can someone finally help me?
I think I need someone with a vast knowledge of medical aid.
(Groans)
Vampire down, needs assistance.
Benny: Grandma had no idea how she got to that singles resort in the Dominican.
Mom ended up at Funfunland.
Jane was furious she went without her.
Well, you two look better.
Thanks to your Grandma getting rid of those tails,
you escaped an epic butt kicking.
Hey, what was in that energy potion you gave us?
- It actually worked. - Little of this. Little of that.
A lot of my blood.
Later.
I drank Benny's blood?
- This is awful. - Yeah. So gross.
No, you don't understand. I liked it. Sarah, it was the best.
- I can't stop thinking about it. - It's not your fault.
Everything tastes good when you're hungry.
(Sighs)
Subs created by: David Coleman.
She's the girl next door.
Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
Just for me.
Subs created by: David Coleman.