♪ Heartbeat
♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?
♪ Heartbeat
♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪
This is most unfortunate.
An important royal visit.
Everything approved by the Chief Constable.
Don't worry, Your Lordship.
I'm sure Scripp Security can offer a far better service.
You realize the Prince is a white Russian
and as such in constant danger from political enemies.
No problem, sir.
When I was running our Manchester operation,
we were used to coping with that sort of thing.
I see.
And now I'm expanding into Europe, we're dealing with it all the time.
Right. Well, he'll need 24-hour cover.
Oh, naturally.
And your very best man.
Absolutely.
Which is why I'm planning on going right to the top
and doing the job myself.
Nothing like the boss stepping in when it really matters, eh?
Of course, it will mean a slightly higher fee.
Mr. Scripps, as you haven't shown me any references,
I think we'll sort out fees at the end, don't you?
When I've seen the quality of your work.
Yes, but I thought maybe a slight advance...
I'll expect you first thing tomorrow morning, and Scripps,
the utmost discretion, the utmost vigilance.
Right.
Off you go, then.
Does it look all right?
Oh, well. Oh, come on, it looks great.
They're not getting here till tomorrow afternoon,
so you don't have to take time off work.
Mike, I've got a million things to do.
Oh, come on.
Look, I'm not used to all of this, and I'm nervous.
She's your niece, not mine.
Look, there's no need to be nervous.
She's a lovely girl, and I'm sure her friend is too, okay?
Okay.
Ashfordly Police.
One moment, sir.
It's the Chief Constable, Sarge.
What does he want?
I only employed you, Scripps,
because the local police have been so unhelpful.
You'd better not make a pig's ear of it.
Don't you worry, your Lordship.
You have my complete confidence.
He's coming.
It's a line. Come on.
Heads up.
Lord Ashfordly? Here we are.
Welcome, Your Highness.
Ah, your...
Nicholas, may I present Vernon Scripps, your bodyguard?
Top man from a first-rate local security firm.
At your service, Prince Nikolas.
Ah, rest assured the local police will be here shortly.
How about a drink? Fancy a port?
Splendid, Ashfordly.
Let's drink to the weekend.
Right.
Prince Nikolas of Livonia, apparently.
I thought it had been clearly arranged.
It may well have been your lordship, but I've only just found out about it.
Well, it was highly embarrassing.
We promised the prince the tightest security.
There wasn't a policeman in sight.
I'm sorry.
From now on, I want a man on the gate at all times,
and a man on patrol around the estate.
Certainly, my Lord.
He's a nervous man, Craddock, and with good reason.
There have been assassination attempts.
I'm sure we can keep the assassins at bay, Your Lordship.
Good.
♪ I'm the urban spaceman, baby
♪ I've got speed
♪ I've got everything I need
♪ I'm the urban spaceman, baby
♪ I can fly
Which way?
Yeah, I've a feeling it's down that way.
Hey, up. We're being watched.
Old geezer behind you.
Lovely day.
Hi Tricia. You settling in, all right?
Yeah. The surgery's looking great.
You'll have to come and see.
I can't. I've got Mike's niece and her friend arriving in a moment.
I've just bought half the butcher shop.
Good grief. How long they're staying?
For the weekend.
They're here to do a school nature project.
I've got to go. I'll see you later.
- Bye. - See you.
So sorry I'm late.
It's all right, it's all right.
Don't worry, they're only kids. They won't bite.
How old did you say they were?
Pull.
Oi!
Come on, Scripps!
Two men, sir.
Over there, under the trees.
Right. Uh, Scripps, um,
get Prince Nikolas back to the house now, quickly.
But shouldn't we stick together, sir?
Don't be ridiculous, Scripps.
Get him back to the house now.
Uh, and call the police.
Tell them we've got intruders.
Gentlemen, with me!
Come on!
Just as I was starting to enjoy myself.
The thing is, I can't pick you up because of this Lord Ashfordly thing.
By the time I get off guard duty, go to the station, get changed...
Phil, it's all right.
I can drive meself in.
No. No.
I thought you were having your car serviced.
Well, yeah, I am, but it'll be ready by then, silly.
Yeah, but I don't want you to drive.
It's supposed to be my treat.
Oh, Phil, you're so sweet.
Heh.
Gina. Customers.
Look, just tell me where to be and I'll be there.
I really don't mind driving meself to Whitby.
Okay. Well, I'll see you later then.
What can I get you?
I'll have a bit of this.
Ta-ra!
Big, rough looking characters heading for the woods
going on to ???
Right. So we'll go and take a look around.
Meanwhile, I suggests the Prince goes inside the house and stays there,
just in case.
See you to it, Scripps.
Come along, sir.
It's not really necessary.
I don't like it, Craddock.
I don't like it at all.
- I want these men found. - Right.
Bradley, that way. Ventress, you come with me.
Stay indoors!
It's outrageous!
Well, it's for your own safety, sir.
I came down here for a country weekend,
get out and about!
Sir, I'm sure you did, but...
Not to be stuck in a stuffy old hall with people like Ashfordly.
They bore me stiff. I want some fun.
Well, you've got your dance tomorrow. That should be fun.
Loaded toffs letting their hair down.
Present company excepted, of course.
Of course. But I mean proper fun.
You could take me out, Scripps.
After dinner, we could slip away,
go to an English pub and meet some real people.
Oh, I don't think so, sir.
I'll say I'm tired and go to my room early.
You're going to get me into trouble, you are.
I'm going to try.
Like looking for a needle in a haystack, Sarge.
I doubt there was anyone in the first place.
It's just Vernon's vivid imagination.
Or Lord Ashfordly's. The man's in a complete panic.
All this stupid talk about assassinations and intruders.
So what do we do?
Leave it. You can get back on the gate.
You and I, let's go back to Ashfordly to get on with some proper police work.
Yes, Sarge.
Hello, David. That looks smart.
Oh, thank you.
Would you like to see inside?
Great.
- Hello. - Hi.
Hasn't he done a good job?
Oh, it wasn't just me, Dr. Summerbee.
Oh, it looks great, Tricia.
What an improvement.
What's all this?
Oh ah, these are all presents for the doctor.
I mean, everyone's been coming round.
The trouble is they've all got something wrong with them, even David.
I've been telling the doctor about my bad dreams.
They've been waking me up at night and I can't go back to sleep again.
You'll be fine, David.
Do you want to come through?
Great. I'll see you, David.
So, how's it going?
Oh, don't ask.
- It can't be that bad. - It is.
I'm no good at it.
I'm sure you are.
Oh, no, please, not another cake.
- Mr. Blaketon. - Trish.
Oh, a bottle of sherry.
That's lovely.
I realise you're not officially opened yet,
but I was wondering if you've got some time.
Could you take a look in my ears?
Hello, Oscar.
That smells great.
Tuck in.
Um, we're vegetarian.
- Keep it over the weekend? - Yes.
But she wants it tomorrow.
Yes, but I don't want her to have it.
Why?
Well, don't worry about the whys.
I want to give her a surprise, that's all.
- Why? - What?
What surprise?
All I'm saying is I don't want her to drive.
I want her to be driven.
By me?
Exactly.
And I've got to say her car's not ready.
Yes.
That's a lie.
Bernie, just do it.
Well, that was a roaring success.
Oh, come on. We weren't to know they were vegetarians.
They're just a couple of kids.
You'll see. This time tomorrow, it'll all be fine.
Um, we're going out.
- Sorry? - A walk.
A walk?
- Well, um, that's a great idea. - Yeah.
Mike and I can show you around the village.
- No. - No, we'll be all right.
- Well... - Don't be long.
Oh, play it again. I love that one.
Oh, hang on, Lou. We'd better watch the time.
Oh, it's early, Anne.
- Come on. - Get off, Tim.
You don't know my Auntie Jackie.
She thinks we're about six.
Right, where does she think you are at the moment?
Dunno. Doing our biology project, I expect.
In the dark.
Where are the girls?
Louise? Anne?
I'd better go and find them.
Well, I think you'd better.
How delicious that looks.
Oh, could you fill these up, please, my dear?
Steady.
Oh, don't be a killjoy, Scrippsy.
Well, he certainly likes his drink.
Don't you think he's had enough?
Nonsense!
Well, don't blame me when you wake up with a sore head.
Hey, I thought you were supposed to be playing bodyguard
to some Russian prince.
- I am. - Ah, looks like it.
Why Lord Ashfordly would take on a bumbling amateur like you beats me.
I mean, it's a skilled job being a bodyguard.
It's a job for a trained police officer.
Especially if it's royalty.
Where on earth have you been?
Mike and I have been worried sick.
He's out looking for you.
I was just about to phone your parents.
Well, come on. I am waiting for an explanation.
Right.
Well, I'm afraid that tomorrow night
I'm going to have to insist that you both stay in.
I'm not having you wandering around Aidensfield in the dark.
Anyone for a hot drink?
Stupid cow.
Who she thinks she is.
Scrippsy! My foot hurts!
What the devils!
Sorry, my lord, I tripped.
For goodness sake, be quiet.
I do not want the prince disturbed.
Well, I think we've covered everything.
So if there's anything else you need to know at all,
just give me a call any time.
Okay.
Thank you very much indeed.
Until Monday week then.
Nine o'clock sharp.
Bye-bye.
What have you done, sir?
- Did you fall on it? - No.
Have you dropped something on it?
Tell me what you've done, sir.
I'm dying.
Oh heck.
What am I gonna say to Lord Ashfordly?
The Chablis,
1945 Bordeaux
and the Margaux.
Even though there are only half a dozen bottles left.
Never mind. It will be worth it.
Yes, my Lord.
And the Chateau again. Prince's favorite.
Excuse me, sir.
What is it, Scripps?
We need a doctor.
Girls, are you up yet?
Hi.
Who are you?
It's too late to cancel the party.
Too late to cancel the other guests.
I mean he came especially for the Scottish dancing.
- Sorry, sir. - Being sorry is not enough, Scripps.
What's he done to his foot, for heaven's sake?
I don't know.
Well, he won't be doing the eightsome reel on it, will he?
No, sir.
You told me you run a quality security operation.
What do you do? You take him to a pub.
I didn't take him, sir. He took himself.
Well, you should have stopped him.
That's what I hired you for.
To keep him safe,
not get him so drunk and ill that I have to call the doctor.
Well?
- It's gout sir, that's all. - Gout?
Aggravated by too much alcohol.
This is unbelievable.
You've given him gout!
Right. Get him to take these.
With any luck, he'll be a bit better by tonight.
But keep him away from the drink.
But what about my party?
I've selected some of my very best wines.
Not for the prince, I'm afraid.
Just fruit juice or water.
This is all your fault, Scripps.
I hold you personally responsible.
In fact, you're fired.
Now get out!
Nonsense, Ashfordly.
I wouldn't hear of it.
Scripps and I suit each other very well.
Me parents would never let me do something like this.
Neither would I. They don't know.
They think we're doing our biology project.
So how did you find this place?
- Don't know. - Yes you do, Tim.
We found it on a school trip.
Yeah and it seemed like a really groovy place for a party.
What are you on about?
We're not having a party.
We are, tonight.
Yeah. Come along if you like.
Yeah, bring friends.
Great!
I could get you some dope if you like.
Okay.
We did have some, but we uh, we ran out.
- Bring it with you. - Yeah, great.
Hey, guess what?
Did someone speak?
???
No, honestly.
There's gonna be a rave up on the moors tonight.
Oh, a rave up eh, Kenny.
Yeah, it's gonna be fun.
There's gonna be lots of dope and drinks, some music in that.
- Yeah? - There is!
Where?
Near Aidensfield.
Hi Bernie. I've come to pick the car up.
Gina. Oh dear. I'm afraid it's not ready.
Not ready?
Well, not safe to drive.
Why?
Well, the rear brakes aren't working properly.
And I can't get the spare parts till Monday.
Bernie, I need the car tonight.
It's all right. I'll take you.
What?
I'll take you to Whitby.
I've spoken to Phil.
Don't worry. It's all fixed up.
I'll pick you up just after seven.
All right?
Well, it'll have to be, won't it?
♪ The Last Thing On My Mind
♪ It's a lesson too late for the learning
♪ Made of sand, made of sand
♪ In the wink of an eye my soul is turning
♪ In your hand, in your hand
♪ Are you going away with no word of farewell
♪ Will there be not a trace left behind
♪ I could have loved you better
♪ Didn't mean to be unkind
♪ You know that was the last thing on my mind
♪ You've got reasons aplenty for going
- ♪ This I know - ???
- You have a nice party. - ♪ This I know
♪ For the weeds have been steadily growing
♪ Please don't go, please don't go
♪ Are you going away with no word of farewell
♪ Will there be not a trace
Oh, I wouldn't have said you have to travel to broaden the mind.
It rather depends what kind of broadening you're after.
I thought I might find you here.
Scripps, don't be a spoilsport. Have a drink.
- We've got to get back, sir. - Oh, come on.
The guests are arriving.
Lord Ashfordly's in a flat spin.
And you know what the doctor said.
It doesn't hurt at all now.
- Just one. - No!
I'm thirsty.
Prince Nicholas, please.
Ashfordly'll string me up.
Right, who's for a game of Monopoly?
Oh, we can't.
Now, girls, you're not going out. That's been decided.
We know, but we're really tired.
Okay, well, let's just all watch tele then.
Great idea.
Look um, I know we've missed Doctor Who, but...
We'd prefer to go to our room.
Oh, but...
No, no, fine, fine.
You go and do whatever you want.
I told you, they just don't want to be with us.
You know, I think you're right.
I am never, never, never having children.
And especially not teenagers.
Think of the money, Bernard.
Think of the tips.
I can't, Vernon.
I promised Phil I'd take Gina to Whitby.
Well, David can take her.
What, in the truck?
Yes.
Look, I'm going to have to leave it with you.
I've got to get the prince back to the party.
Well, wish me luck, Sarge.
You'll be fine.
Oh.
She's a lucky girl.
It's a total sellout.
The working man has been totally let down.
Yeah, well, it's going to be a revolution.
Of course there is.
Oi! Feet off the table, please.
Ann Wilson.
David, I've got a little job for you.
I've got to collect Lord Ashfordly's guests from the station.
So you've got to take Gina to Whitby.
- What, me? - Yes.
- What, in the truck? - Yes.
The Abbey Ruins for eight o'clock. Got it?
Politicians.
Yeah.
Whatever you do, don't tell her where you're going.
It's a surprise, apparently.
It's the dialectic, you see?
- The rise of the proletariat. - I said feet off the table.
And the withering away at the state.
All right, that's it. Get out.
Just get on your feet and get out of my pub now.
All of you.
Cheers, Granddad.
Come the glorious revolution, brother, you'll be the first to go.
Long-haired, and good-for-nothing layabouts.
Bring back national service, that's what I say.
♪ PETER SARSDEDT: Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)
♪ You talk like Marlene Dietrich
♪ And you dance like Zizi Jeanmaire
♪ Your clothes are all made by Balmain
♪ And there's diamonds and pearls in your hair
♪ Yes, there are
♪ Do you live in a fancy apartment?
♪ Off the Boulevard St Michel
♪ Where you keep your Rolling Stones records
♪ And a friend of Sacha Distel
♪ Yes, you do
♪ But where do you go to, my lovely
♪ When you're alone in your bed?
♪ Tell me the thoughts that surround you
Oh, great.
♪ I want to look inside your head
- ♪ Yes, I do - You do look lovely, Gina.
Yeah.
Great start to romantic evening.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What have we got here, then?
Well, that's where my dad works.
Yeah, yeah. What's going on, though?
Don't know.
There's a party there.
There's a prince there or something. It's that posh.
Right, come on.
Interesting.
Kenny, is this it?
Excuse me.
You said this was a party.
Look, you can't just barge in, mate.
There's no booze, no music.
Is this some kind of joke?
No, it's not my fault.
It was them. They said...
We never said anything.
We just...
Never mind what they said, Kenny.
Look, now we've got a problem.
You're going to help us solve it. Come on.
Yeah, come along, young Ken.
Come on, you lot.
Back soon, girls and boys.
Is this it?
I'm not meant to say. It's supposed to be a surprise.
Right.
Ta-ra, David.
Bye.
How lovely to see you.
Wonderful, John.
You sure he hasn't come down?
I don't think so, my lord.
Amelia, my dear, how wonderful.
Nicholas, thank goodness.
Good evening.
Perhaps you might introduce me to this charming young lady.
Your Highness, may I present Lady Amelia Stanton.
How delightful.
♪ The look of love is in your eyes
♪ The look your heart can't disguise
♪ The look of love
♪ Is saying so much more than just words could ever say
Oh, the ruling classes.
At play.
You reckon we're getting through the cellar, then, can you?
- Oh, yeah, but... - Shh!
Ownership is death, Kenny.
Come on. Show us the way.
???
Me dad will kill us.
Oh, yes.
Oh, sure it is.
Just grab that lot, both of you.
Where are you going?
Just carry on.
Just gonna go and see what else they've got in here.
We don't need to take that much.
Kenny, shut it and find a box and grab this, fast.
This way.
Here we are.
???
Good evening, Your Highness.
Oi!
Come on, come on.
Come on, everybody.
Take a trip.
Flow downstream.
Ooh! Magic pills!
And only a tan at a time.
You want some?
Okay, right. Now I'll just give you these two for three.
There you go. More than one.
Take care.
There, gorgeous.
What would you like?
- What you got? - Everything. Here you go.
There you go. Lovely.
- Oh, not all at once, okay? - Yeah.
Louise!
I'm in here, boys. I'm in here.
Can I have a word, sir?
Not now, Scripps!
But, sir.
Scripps!
♪ BEATLES: Strawberry Fields Forever
♪ Let me take you down cause I'm going to
♪ Strawberry fields
♪ Nothing is real
♪ And nothing to get hung about
♪ Strawberry fields forever
♪ THE HOLLIES: The Air That I Breathe
♪ Sometime
♪ All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you
♪ All I need is the air that I breathe, yes, to love you
♪ All I need is the air that I breathe
- All right? - Yeah.
They must have been tired, poor little things.
- Not so little. - No.
Look, I'm sorry I've been such a pain.
You? No, you've been absolutely terrific.
I know you thought I was being hard on them, keeping them in.
But, well, girls of that age, they need to know the boundaries.
Quite right, too.
They've been perfectly happy up there, chatting, listening to the radio.
Seems so.
I'd better go and say goodnight.
Louise?
Louise, wake up.
Louise?
Louise, wake up!
Louise!
Mike! Mike!
David, have you not got a home to go to?
Yeah, Mr. Vernon's not there. I don't like it by myself.
You've got Alfred.
Hello.
Oh, hello, Phil.
No, no, hang on, hang on. It weren't me in the end. It were David.
You did take Gina, didn't you?
Oh, yeah, hours ago.
Yeah, he dropped her off, just like you said.
Phil?
Philip?
Wasn't very nice, though.
What?
Well, the Abbey Arms. Gina didn't like it.
The Abbey Arms?
I said the Abbey Ruins!
Oh, well done, David.
Everybody this way!
My Lord!
Now what?
- The wine's gone. - What?
The wine you set aside.
Where on earth has Ashfordly got to?
My niece Anne and her friend.
Well, er, what do they look like?
Long hair, jeans, beads.
Mr. Bradley, I've seen people like that. Lots of them.
All right, David, just, er, calm down.
We, er, had some hippies in here earlier, but, er,
nothing to do with your niece.
Yeah, but I gave them a lift. They were going to a party.
But we've looked everywhere. Someone must have seen them.
Wait a minute. What party, David?
In a barn. I don't know.
Where?
Up there, through the woods.
My hay barn. Trespassers, I knew it.
It was only supposed to be the four of us.
Then all these people came and I'd never seen them before.
And then this horrible man went off
and came back with all this wine and bottles of pills.
And Louise took some.
Right. Come on!
Come on, Scrippsy!
That's it, my dear. Show us the way!
Wait! Hold on!
Careful, lads!
My Margaux!
My 1925 Margaux!
My pills!
What happened?
Pills.
- How many has she taken? - I don't know.
I'll call Dr. Summerbee.
Disgraceful.
But good fun.
It was the best fun I've had in ages.
Entertainment over, everybody.
Supper is served.
- Hey. - I'm so sorry, Auntie Jackie.
I'm sorry for being so horrible.
Come on. I think we were both to blame.
No, I was awful to you.
And I'd forgotten what it was like to be a teenager.
You can go and see her now, if you like.
- Is she all right? - She will be.
Look, why don't you go and see Mike?
I'll stop here for a bit.
Thank you.
How are you feeling?
Bowl, quick!
Thanks, Oscar.
Excuse me, David.
I told you it was worth it, Bernard.
Job done. Money in the bag.
Thought Prince think he was staying till Monday.
Ah, yes. Well, he got a better offer at the party.
And she's invited him to stay in her castle.
Ashfordly was miserable.
But my good friend, the Prince, has rewarded me handsomely.
What's in there, then?
Viola!
Crikey, Mr. Vernon!
You're a millionaire!
Aye, lad.
I think this calls for drinks all round.
Oh, aye. How are you going to pay for them?
Russian rubles.
Rubles?
You sure I can change these?
Oh, take them to any bank.
That should cover it.
- You can't change those. - What?
You can't spend them anywhere except in Russia.
You mean they're worthless?
Unless he goes to live in Russia, of course.
Gina, you're back early.
Oh, it's not very early.
Actually, it's quite late.
Your sign's upside down.
Gina!
I'm sorry.
Wait some minutes.
Georgina Ward.
Will you marry me?
Oh, Phil.
Say yes, dear.
Please say yes.