♪ Heartbeat
♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?
♪ Heartbeat
♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪
PHONE RINGS
Hello?
Same thing?
Yep.
They can't all be wrong numbers.
Every night now for two weeks.
It's getting beyond a joke.
We've got to try and work out who it is, Mike.
Mm, I'm going to.
Ah, good. Pay day.
I mean, keeping on phoning day after day,
what's he hoping to achieve?
Or she.
Oh, well, you never know.
It might be a she,
desperate to hear the sound of my voice.
Sweetheart, what are you looking for?
My diary.
I don't know where I left it.
All this phone business is not fair on you.
It's not fair on either of us.
Yes, but in my case, it goes with the job.
Superintendent to all section sergeants.
Renovation of filing systems.
Which means, gentlemen, that we go through all files with a fine-tooth comb,
and dispose of all paperwork over ten years old.
- Every file? - Every file.
Even the stuff in the loft?
The what?
Old station records, sarge.
Yeah, boxes of them.
Sergeant Blaketon never threw anything away.
Get them down.
Well done, Phil.
Excuse me, Mrs. Smythe.
I'm right sorry about the colonel.
I just don't know where to turn.
He was in the Royal Horse Artillery, you see.
Yeah.
Poor dear, Phil.
Don't cry, Mrs. Smythe.
I'll ask Mr. Scripps, of course, but he'll never be able to do it.
What, you mean, the funeral?
He wanted horses and a gun carriage.
Horses and a...
That's no problem.
I'm sure that Mr. Scripps could do that.
- He could? - Oh, yeah.
Well, he's got a carriage.
Mr. Greengrass, he knows all about the horses.
Oh, Anthony, isn't that a relief?
David says Mr. Scripps can do it.
Mother, it's no good listening to him.
We'll have to ask Scripps himself.
Oh, but David is a friend of Mr. Scripps.
That's all right, yeah.
I'll get him to come round and see you right away.
So, um, these calls started when?
Oh, about, uh, two weeks ago.
Well, do you think it maybe somebody that you nicked around the time?
Not necessarily.
Watch it, Phil!
It could be someone from ages ago. That's the problem.
Where do you begin?
What are you two standing about for? Chop, chop.
Sarge, these funny calls that Mike's been getting.
Get on with it, Ventress. I want this job finished ASAP.
We all get strange phone calls, Bradley. It's an occupational hazard.
Mr. Greengrass!
Mr. Greengrass, ???!
Please don't say no, because I've told her yes, and she's...
Well, she's that upset. I don't want to disappoint her.
I saw Mr. Scripps, he'll help.
Have you stopped?
Why don't you take a deep breath and start again,
because I don't know what the devil you're talking about.
Colonel Smythe's funeral.
Oh, he's turned his toes up at last, has he?
Yeah, this morning, while I was doing the gardening.
Anyway, Mrs. Smythe, she said she wants one of them, like,
horse and carriages for the funeral.
I said that we'd do it.
We? Who's we?
Well, you. And me, Mr. Scripps.
What, you told her that we can supply a carriage?
Yeah.
For that farm clearance job, we need to put more top.
What, that thing?
I wouldn't be seen dead in that, let alone Colonel Smythe.
We can do it up.
No, we can't, because it don't belong to us.
We left it there when we did the clearance, didn't we?
So now it belongs to that Eames bloke who's moved in.
How many times have I told you to engage your brain
before you open your mouth?
Well, I've promised and said we can do it.
Well, you just have to go and unpromise and tell her we can't.
Go on, aren't you?
Go on.
♪ 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
♪ Onwards, onwards, road to 600
♪ 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
♪ Down the valley on the horses they thundered
♪ 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
♪ Ah, but was it them who really blunder?
♪ 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
♪ Uh-huh, it was the Manfred.
Claude says what?
If you go and see Mrs. Smythe, he'll lend us his horse and carriage.
He hasn't got a horse and carriage.
Yes, he has. He's told me all about it.
Anyway, you've got to go and see Mrs. Smythe,
and I said you'd go straight round.
So, what about the phone calls? Did you find out anything?
Um, look, um, I'll just, uh...
Nothing at all?
Well, no, I had a quick look at the crime sheets, but, uh...
But no possibles.
Not yet. Fancy a sandwich?
- Mike! - What?
- Spit it out. - Okay.
Look, I think someone's been hanging around the house.
I beg your pardon.
Next, please.
Someone's been what?
Well, I... I don't know.
I... I found a couple of film wrappers in the garden.
Thanks.
Well, what are you saying?
Someone's been taking photographs of us.
Look, I don't know. It's probably nothing.
The same person that's been making the phone calls.
I'll... I'll have a quick word with Craddock when he gets back.
See what he thinks.
My father left very precise funeral instructions, Mr. Scripps,
which I should imagine are out of the question for a small firm of undertakers.
Oh, but, Anthony, David assured me...
Mother, just let Mr. Scripps read.
He was a military man, you see.
He always loved the pomp and circumstance.
Well, he certainly knew what he wanted.
Yes, well, we shouldn't have troubled you.
I can always try one of the larger firms in Whitby.
No, no, no. It may be possible.
Of course, we couldn't provide the gun carriage as such.
Military escort.
Well, you need the army for that sort of thing.
It wouldn't come cheap.
Money is no object, Mr. Scripps.
As long as my husband gets what he wanted.
Yes, all right, Mother.
Perhaps it would be better if you left Mr. Scripps and me
to discuss the details.
I do so hope you'll do it.
My husband always liked to use the little local man, if at all possible.
Where have you been? To see the bank manager?
Very funny.
Hey, it must have been somewhere dressed like that.
Not starting courting again, have you?
Been to the Smythes as instructed.
David. I don't know what's come over him.
How many times do I have to tell you?
I am not the least bit interested in Colonel Smythe's flaming funeral?
He's only told them we can fix them what way of carriage.
I bet they'd expect us to do it for next to nothing anyway.
Yes, you're absolutely right. They've only offered us £150.
What?
David, leave that. I think I might want to use your brawn.
- See you later. - Good night.
All along, I assumed it was me.
All right, Bradley.
It never crossed my mind it was Jackie they're after.
"I'm waiting".
"I'm waiting." I wonder what that means.
No idea.
You definitely don't recognise the writing?
No.
What about boyfriends?
- Oh, come on. - Ex-boyfriends.
Someone you've jilted, perhaps.
It's nothing like that.
Look, Mike, please. I can speak for myself.
Obviously, there were boyfriends that didn't work out.
But no-one would want to pester you?
No.
Bradley, get on to the court, will you?
Get the clerk to draw up a list of all recent cases
where your wife has acted as a solicitor.
- What? Now, Sarge? - Yes.
But Sarge...
Mrs. Bradley, I'm a man of the world.
I'm not here to judge you. I just want to establish the facts.
So let's be straight with each other, shall we?
Anything you say won't go any further. I promise you that.
What exactly are you implying?
That nine times out of ten, in cases like this,
the culprit is generally someone you know.
A disgruntled lover, perhaps. So is there one?
- No. - Pity. Would explain things.
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Perhaps you left your diary somewhere by mistake.
What do you mean?
Somewhere you didn't want your husband to know about.
Well, in which case I'd hardly be here, would I?
True.
Unless the man was becoming a nuisance
and your husband was in danger of finding out.
You are way off target, Sergeant Craddock.
Mike and I are very happy.
And this business and the phone calls are a complete mystery to both of us.
I thought I was here to be helped.
I got that wrong, though, didn't I?
See you later.
Jackie?
What's going on?
Nothing that I know of, Bradley.
As far as I'm concerned, this is not a police matter.
Excuse me?
It's a domestic.
A simple domestic. I suggest you talk to your wife.
Get the tarpaulin off, David.
Get these tires out of the way.
What are you doing?
Oh, I don't want to do that.
Ah! Mr. Reams!
Better late than never, eh?
We should have taken this months ago when we cleared the rest of the stuff,
but we'll soon have it out of your way.
Ah, hold on a minute. You can't just take it.
It's a valuable antique.
- What? - Yes, I'm afraid so.
If you want it, you're going to have to pay for it.
We weren't going to charge you.
I mean, I were going to do it as a sort of neighbourly gesture.
Ah, well, I'm very sorry.
Well, er, how much do you want for it?
£25.
Pigs might!
I'll give you five.
25.
Five quid on that.
I'll get David to clear the rest of the shed afterwards.
I can't be fairer than that.
25.
You're a hard man, Mr. Reams.
All right, I'll go to ten.
Sorry.
15, and that's me final offer.
All right, come on, David.
Mr. Greengrass...
David, David, shut it and get in the truck.
Look, I can make 150 quid from Colonel Smyth's funeral.
I know that, don't I?
Have I not taught you anything?
You never give them the first price they ask for.
They always come down.
I don't think he will.
- Mr. Greengrass? - Yes?
You can have it for 20.
Thank you.
Now, there's a surprise.
I think we'll need some of the tarp.
Thank you for ???.
Any calls?
No, just a couple of wrong numbers.
Like what?
Well, you know, silence.
Just ringing off without saying anything.
Oh, and someone rang about a diary.
Oh, yes?
Had you found it or something?
He rang off before I could ask his name.
A bit peculiar, really.
Fine.
Can you tell me who bought these flowers, please?
Oh, bless him.
Such a sad business.
He were devoted to his dad. Devoted.
We're doing the flowers for the funeral, you know.
He and his mother have really gone to town.
No expense spared.
I'm sorry. Who are we talking about here?
Anthony. Anthony Smythe.
Such a nice boy.
And does he live locally?
Yes, at Aidensfield Way.
His family have lived round here for years.
Though he had to move away because of his job.
Oh, really? What's he do?
Oh, a solicitor.
Very successful by all accounts.
Thanks.
Visitor, Mrs. Bradley.
Thank you.
Mike!
For you. They were on the doorstep when I got home.
I thought I might as well deliver them as I was passing.
- Any ideas who they're from? - No.
Well, good job the florist was able to tell me then.
They're from an Anthony Smythe, apparently.
Only he forgot to sign his name.
Right.
Hmm. So. What is all this?
Why is an Anthony Smythe sending you red roses?
He's an old friend, that's all.
Is he?
Well, he's also a solicitor, I gather.
Very cosy, but that doesn't answer my question.
Mike!
I suppose you two meet each other on cases.
That kind of thing, hmm?
I don't believe this.
First Craddock and now you.
There's nothing going on, Mike.
I know him, that's all, from York.
Know? In what sense?
For goodness sake.
What, did you, er, did you go out together?
Briefly. It was nothing, Mike. It's not worth mentioning.
Except, his parents live in Aidensfield,
and he's been here for two weeks, nursing his father.
Yes.
All right. Look, he's phoned me a few times.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
It didn't seem important.
- Did you meet? - No.
Well, so, I er, I come back to the same question.
Why the flowers?
Look, Jackie, the man's been in the area for two weeks.
We've had these strange phone calls for two weeks.
Someone's been hanging outside the house for two weeks.
You're surely not going to suggest that's Anthony too, are you?
Why not?
Oh, what, because he's a nice middle-class solicitor, is that it?
Oh, I suppose he hangs around the garden till I've gone, does he?
So he can see you.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Anthony.
Refusing to talk to me isn't going to make it any better.
He was keen on me.
We went out a few times and then I ended it,
and I haven't seen him since.
When I heard he was here and his father was dying,
I rang him up, just to be friendly.
He was having a terrible time. He needed cheering up.
Look, I know I should have told you.
But I knew you wouldn't like it and...
it seemed easier not to.
So you only spoke to him on the phone?
Yes.
Was it him who was making all the phone calls?
No.
Mike!
Okay, Smythe, I know it's you.
Smythe?
Is that it?
Yeah. It's a genuine antique.
It's a disaster. It's falling to pieces.
It's got woodworm.
Yeah, it's not. It's just the holes where they've been.
It'll be all right with a bit of tender loving care.
Tender loving care. Claude, the funeral's in three days' time.
Well, you'd better get your skates on then, don't you?
How are you going to make this look like that?
Well, David will help you with the painting and that, won't you, David?
Oh, yes, Mr. Greengrass.
What are you going to be doing?
I've got to go and see if I can find summat to pull it.
We haven't got a horse.
Who do you think I am? Prince Malalulu?
Look, you do your bit. Leave me to do my bit.
David, get in the looks.
- Bring him in for questioning. - Yes.
- Anthony Smythe? - Yes.
On what grounds?
I've just told you on what grounds.
Phoning us up at all hours,
hanging around the garden, breaking into Jackie's car.
Bradley, don't you think you're getting a bit carried away?
No, Sarge.
You've got no proof he had anything to do with any of this.
No proof whatsoever.
I know it's him.
No, you don't.
Bradley, I would like to help you, but I can't.
This is something for you and your wife to sort out between you.
But, Sarge...
And I want you to keep away from Anthony Smythe.
In fact, that's an order.
Understood?
Sarge.
Mike?
What's this?
The bell. Pickering.
That's quite a trick.
Let's just see.
The 24th.
Remind me.
That was the day I took a late turn in Whitby, wasn't it?
Mike.
Two starters.
Two main dishes, a bottle of wine.
Oh, very, very cosy.
All right, I had a meal with Anthony.
You said you didn't meet him.
I didn't dare tell you.
So,
what else haven't you dared tell me?
Nothing, Mike.
And the reason I didn't tell you is cause I knew you'd react like this.
Why, excuse me, but as your husband,
I think I have a right to know who you're seeing behind my back.
For goodness sake, Mike!
What? Does he come over here?
Does he come round when I'm not here?
Is that what's been going on?
Just grow up!
♪ Don't you know that no one alive can always be nature
♪ When things go wrong, I seem to be bad
♪ I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
♪ Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
♪ Baby, sometimes I'm so carefree
♪ With a joy that's hard to hide
What's all this? Who are you?
Mike Bradley. Ring any bells?
You know my wife, Jackie.
Jackie?
Listen, I'm not having someone like you messing up our life.
Got it? And you can take that as a warning.
I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
Really? Well, then, perhaps I can jog your memory!
Will you please keep your voice down?
Let's start with the phone calls, shall we?
- What? - And the spying in the garden?
- Look. - And the diary. The mysterious diary.
I'm waiting. What's that supposed to mean, eh?
- Well? - Mr. Bradley...
...have you stopped shouting and come through to the study to discuss.
Oh, oh, the study.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, that must have really impressed her.
She's always wanted a grand house.
But I suppose she told you that herself.
I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
You're besotted, aren't you?
Admit it.
You just can't leave her alone.
What are you suggesting?
I don't have to suggest anything, Smythe.
I'm telling you what I know.
For your information, Bradley,
I haven't seen Jackie since she left York.
Say that again?
You heard me.
Liar.
Get out.
Argh!
A horse-drawn funeral. That's a bit grand for you, isn't it, Bernie?
He's not doing it on his own, you know. He's in association with it.
It won't be grand. It'll be... tasteful.
Oh, yeah? What does that mean, then, Bernie?
You know, box on wheels?
Goodbye, Alfred.
So will you lot, since you've got no imagination.
Jackie!
What's happened?
♪ THE COASTERS: Poison Ivy
♪ She comes on like a rose
♪ But everybody knows
♪ She'll get you in Dutch
♪ You can look but you better not touch
♪ Poison Ivy
Once the GPO have organised the phones, we'll do a phone tap.
Well, it won't be Anthony Smythe, will it?
- No. - Why is that, then?
Because I was with him at the time,
so it couldn't have been him at the window.
So you went to see him when I expressly told you not to.
What on earth were you playing at?
Sorry, Sarge.
I've just had him on the phone.
Luckily, I managed to calm him down, or you could be in serious trouble.
Well, I thought he was the prowler.
Well, you were wrong, weren't you?
So why was he lying about Jackie, then?
Oh, for heaven's sake, Bradley.
We are talking about two different things.
One, the prowler.
Two, your wife's boyfriend.
And we've proved they are two different people.
- But Sarge, I... - You're off the case.
Well, they don't look right together.
I'm not going to use the donkey.
I'm talking about the horse.
Well, wherever the horse goes, the donkey has to be.
David, take that donkey across the other side of the field, will you?
Look, not a bad-looking animal, is it?
What do you think?
I'm pleasantly surprised, Claude.
She'll do very well.
Not much I don't know about horses.
I don't know about you, but I'm beginning to feel quietly optimistic.
I'm always optimistic. That's my trouble.
You ironic little devil.
Oscar, this prowler business.
I think it's time that you and I gave Mike a bit of help.
So, let's make sure we know what we're doing.
If it's him, I give you the signal and you phone the GPO.
And remember to get him talking for as long as possible.
Now, how am I supposed to do that?
Well, I don't know.
Flattering. You're good at that.
I beg your pardon?
I was only joking.
Well, it wasn't very funny in the circumstances.
Well, I'm so sorry.
Mike, can we just forget about Anthony?
Nothing happened.
You lied to me.
First, you told me you hadn't been in touch.
Then, you told me you hadn't met.
I said I'm sorry.
I'm, um, I'm just never quite sure. That's the trouble.
What?
Whether you wouldn't have preferred to be with a man like...
like him.
What, Anthony?
Someone more your type.
Look, you're my type.
OK.
Then,
someone who earns more than you, not less.
Is that what all this is about? My earnings?
I don't believe you, Mike.
It's just a stage we're at.
When you're a chief constable
and I'm a housebound housewife with three kids,
you'll be earning for both of us.
- Four. - What?
Well, I thought we could have four.
Oh, Mike.
Look, let's just get out of here for an hour or so.
It's not doing us any good.
We, we, we can't.
We can't.
Craddock'll never catch him with this phone-tapping business.
Of course not.
A great yellow van parked outside?
Well, the prowler will be wise to it in a jiffy.
You can't beat good old-fashioned police methods.
Knowing your area, knowing your villains.
Exactly.
Is this, er, all our recent cases, is it?
Yes.
Everything since she arrived in Ashfordly.
Craddock's been through it with her already, of course.
Ah, but without local knowledge.
That's right, Oscar.
Right, then I'll go through the names, see what we can come up with.
I'll mark down the possibles.
Sid Pontings, car theft.
- He's inside. - Oh.
Joseph Matlin, dangerous driving.
No.
Bill Snaith, indecent exposure.
Yeah, mark him down.
Martin Padmore, firearms offences.
He works in the bank, doesn't he?
Yeah.
There was something else about him, if I remember.
Now, what was it?
I tell you what, Alf.
My memory's not good enough these days.
I think we should take a look at my old records in the loft.
Oh, yes.
There's something you should know about your old records in the loft, Oscar.
It's midnight.
He's always phoned by now.
Nothing.
I'm going up. You coming?
Jackie, wait.
I know. I'm sorry, too.
Is Craddock here?
Coast's clear.
Bellamy.
What's he doing here?
Is this it?
This is all that's left?
Oh, there may just be something here.
Oh, it's criminal.
Well, it's like Hitler burning books outside the Reichstag.
I couldn't sleep a wink thinking about this.
Aha!
Oscar.
Here we are, Alf.
June 1958. Martin Padmore.
Yeah, he started making phone calls,
and then he began following a Jane Dewsbury.
I remember.
We knew he was doing it, but we couldn't make it stick.
She hardly knew him, but he thought they were having a love affair.
Right.
You've got to admit, it sounds similar.
Well, I think we'd best get an address.
Pay him a visit, don't you?
Oscar, you'd best leave it to us.
Craddock will only have a fit.
Sorry.
So am I.
We don't know it's Padmore, of course.
No, of course we don't.
So what do we do? Tell Mike?
Well, crap, he's taken off the case.
What?
♪ Here I stand with my head down in my hand
♪ Wondering what on earth I have done wrong
♪ There's a cloud that has overshadowed me
♪ Blocks the light from my eyes I cannot see
Alf, Oscar. You've got to pen handy?
I've got an address for you.
Bourncliffe Drive.
Strictly speaking, Mike, you shouldn't be here.
Alf, just go.
Alf. Alf.
I don't believe this.
All her appointments.
No wonder he needed a diary.
Mike.
♪ Anyone who ever loved
♪ Could look at me
♪ And know that I love you
Mr. Bradley?
Where is she?
She left 20 minutes ago. Why? What's happened?
- Where's she gone? - Home.
She went home early.
She's gone.
- What? - She's gone home.
Keep driving.
It's Martin, isn't it?
- Martin Padmore. - No talking.
There's a trap to the right in Arthur Marta Blackwood Moor.
Take it.
But I haven't got much petrol.
You won't need much petrol.
Look at me.
Into my eyes!
That's better.
You and I belonged together, Jackie. You know that, don't you?
So why did you kiss him?
I saw you last night through the window kissing HIM!
STAMMERS: I'm sorry.
You mustn't do it anymore.
It upsets me.
I'm going to have to punish you.
I said LOOK AT ME!
We were ??? together, Jackie, sending me all those messages.
What messages?
???
But I know your little game, teasing me, playing hard to get.
Girls play all sorts of games, don't they, just to drive a man wild.
Well, you can't get away with it forever, Jackie.
Sooner or later,
you've got to pay the price.
All right, mate, don't shoot.
Don't shoot.
Come here! Come here!
Come here.
Easy, Mike, easy.
- You deceived me, you lying bitch! - It's okay.
Why did you do it, Jackie?
Why did you say you loved me?
You see, the thing is,
there seem to be so many coincidences.
Well, you coming to stay in the village just when it all started.
The fact that you'd once taken Jackie out, the flowers.
And, well, I...
I'm afraid I jumped to conclusions.
And then to come round here and lose my temper, well,
well, there was no excuse. I'm very sorry.
I'm sorry if I landed you in it with your sergeant.
Oh, Constable, I don't know if Anthony's asked you,
but I hope you'll come tomorrow, and your wife.
My husband always thought the local police were quite excellent.
Oh, well, thank you very much.
You're a lucky man.
I'd have married her like a shot, but she wasn't interested.
Do come tomorrow. Mother would like it.
Thanks.
What does she see in him?
♪ Many rivers to cross
♪ But I can't seem to find
♪ My way no further
♪ Wondering I am lost
So what's going to happen to him?
He'll be held in custody pending psychiatric reports.
Well, at last things can get back to normal, eh?
Sorry I made such a fuss about Anthony.
Well, not that there's a problem now that I've met him.
I mean, come on.
Faced with a choice between him and me.
Well, there's no contest, really, is there?
♪ Wondering what I'm going to ask
♪ Yes, I travel along
♪ While you're so close
♪ Yes, I've got wind and river
What happened?
It wasn't my fault!
It was the donkey!
It takes one to know one.
David, do me a favour.
If you think of any other not-so-bright ideas,
keep them to your flaming self.