Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen www.addic7ed.com
Attention, Camp Kikiwaka!
After reading all of your feedback from the suggestion box,
I'm going to make an important change around here.
You're going to power wash the whole camp with disinfectant?
No.
You're gonna make showers optional?
You're gonna power wash Finn with disinfectant?
Stop guessing. Due to overwhelming requests,
I'm going to give everybody back their cell phones!
(All cheering)
Zuri, pass out the phones!
Zuri: Easy, easy!
It's like feeding hyenas.
I'm so glad to be getting my phone back.
My pet pig Petunia is expecting.
Although with pigs, it's hard to tell.
I'm just glad everyone's on board.
It's my job to make sure the campers are happy,
and to bring this camp into the twentieth century.
Twenty-first century.
Ooh, the future. Even better.
All: ♪ Kikiwaka Kikiwaka
♪ Kikiwaka Kikiwaka
♪ Kikiwaka Kikiwaka ♪
Hey, guys. This is my camp.
Over there is the mess hall,
and there's where Ravi got hurt making a friendship bracelet.
I couldn't believe it either. I didn't know he had a friend.
Hey, Zuri, who are you talking to?
I'm live-streaming to my friends back home.
Say hi, Lou!
Hey, everyone! If you're looking to have
the time of your life this summer,
and you're not afraid of bobcats,
come on down to Camp Kiki...
A simple hi. That's all I asked for.
This is great! Everyone is hash tagging Camp Kikiwaka.
Maybe the kids at Camp Champion
will see this and get all P-B and jealous.
(Gasps) I know, I love having my phone.
Remember Petunia, my pig? She just had her baby.
Look, here's a video.
(Pig squealing)
Ah! It's her having the baby!
She insisted on a natural birth.
There is nothing natural about that.
Hey, how about we play a game of volleyball?
Okay! And we can tag the camp, and show all our potential customers
how much fun it is here.
Lou: Hey guys, how about a little game of volleyball?
No, thanks. We're on a group selfie spree. (LAUGHS)
Oh, come on, you three musketeers, volleyball is fun.
Now, I'll show you the spot where eagles try to pick off some of the smaller campers.
Okay, get ready for a Lou special.
I'm serving it up hot.
Hashtag, forced to play volleyball.
(Birds chirping)
(Thuds) (Screams)
Stupid paint! I'm a mess!
Ooh, did you get that?
(Gasps) I gotta send a copy to Petunia.
She loves funny human videos.
Hey, Ravi, wanna see Petunia makin' bacon?
(Pig squeals on phone)
No! No one in their right mind wants to see that.
And that was gonna make you the god father.
What are you looking at?
Our old chef Murphy posted that he just got a new job.
Oh, I'm so happy for him!
He now cooks for our rival, Camp Champion.
He's dead to me.
And Murphy's food is really blowing up the internet.
His last post got over three thousand likes.
Ah. Dislike. Take that you traitor!
You pressed the "like" button instead.
Curse my wide thumbs.
(Phone rings)
Oh, it is Murphy. He is video chatting us.
Heya, kids, thanks for liking my food.
Come over and I'll whip you up a nice seafood lunch.
Over here, we use real fish, not just deformed frogs.
Don't you play nice with us, you eggs Benedict Arnold.
Ah, you're just mad because Camp Champion
is so much better than Camp Cheapy-Waka.
They even got me a sous chef, a sushi chef,
and a sous sushi chef named Sue.
Whatever. Our food is still better than yours, and we'll prove it.
Because we have a secret weapon.
That is right! Ravi Ross, Kitchen Boss.
Ravi, out cook me? (LAUGHS)
You're on, losers.
(Sighs)
Ooh, that Murphy makes my water boil.
For the honor of Camp Kikiwaka,
we must create and post a dish that gets more likes than his.
Yeah. For once I wanna beat Camp Champion.
They always crush us at everything,
baseball, basketball, even laser tag.
The worst part is they used real lasers.
Lost a lot of good campers that day.
Destiny? I thought you said
you were going to be playing pool with friends.
I am. It's an app I downloaded called "Pool With Friends".
(Game beeping)
Nice shot, Jamie.
Hey, Emma, remember my epic paint fail yesterday?
One of the campers meme'd me and I went viral!
Zuri: (Auto-tuned) ♪ stupid paint. I'm a mess
♪ Stupid, stupid Stupid paint, I'm a mess ♪
Whoa, you have more views than that truck-driving raccoon!
I know! And he was hilarious!
I mean, before he crashed into that children's birthday party.
Uh, those poor clowns.
But that's what they get for all being in that one car.
I'm famous! But I promise...
No matter how many followers I get,
I'll always stay humble.
Do you think we could rename this the Zuri Ross Mess Hall?
No. (Chuckles)
And when you're done being humble,
can you restock the infirmary?
You mean the Zuri Ross Infirmary?
(Sarcastically) Why don't we just call the camp zuriwaka?
Ooh, I like that.
Destiny, wanna see something cool?
You're not going to start talking
with your butt again, are you?
No, my butt and I are not on speaking terms.
I was looking on my phone
and I saw this abandoned train car in the woods.
Ooh, I heard some kids talking about that. It's supposed to be cool.
Let's go take selfies! I've been practicing my duck lips.
Ah, the Midwestern Mallard. Bold choice.
Should we ask Matteo to go?
Nah, he'd hate it.
I'm pretty sure that abandoned train car hasn't been sanitized.
FINN: This is awesome!
(Gasps) There are bugs, dirt,
and it smells bad.
Basically, it's your bunk.
But cleaner.
Selfie time.
(Camera shutter clicks)
Hashtag friends at a spooky old train!
Hashtag chillin' with my bud!
(Phone beeps)
"Chilling with my bud"?
Oh, hello, Matteo.
I need to find a cook book that either
has a perfect recipe to beat Murphy,
or is heavy enough to knock him out.
Ravi, Destiny and Finn are hanging out without me.
Well, then you should hang out without them.
I am.
Great. Problem solved. Good talk.
All right, Murphy, we just posted our first dish.
You're gonna choke on your jealousy
like we used to choke on those hockey pucks you called pancakes.
We have created a culinary expedition across the globe.
The corn represents the great Mayan culture.
The olives are a nod to the ancient Greeks,
obvi, and the tomatoes are a tip of the hat
to our friends in Italy. Both: (LAUGH)
You just made a salad. An ugly salad.
Oh, is that so? Then why do we have...
Ravi, we only got three likes.
(Laughs) And two of them were from you.
Oh, who's the other one from? Your lizard?
No.
Yes.
Listen up, you Camp Champion backstabber.
Our next dish will get so many likes,
it'll make your dish seem (IMITATING MURPHY) about as populah
as a big ol' pot of lobstah fahts.
I do not sound like that!
And I gotta go.
I double-pahked my cah near the yahd by the hahbor.
Ravi, look how many likes Murphy's post is getting from kids at Camp Kikiwaka!
And none of them liked my salute to salad.
If this keeps up, we might end up losing campers.
It'll be laser tag all over again.
Ah, sorry, we don't have any more bandages because we're out of supplies.
But we do have staples. Here, bite this stick.
Hey, Zuri Nation! I'm back. You're welcome.
(Gasps) Zuri, I need to talk to you.
Not now, I'm mid-stream.
You never restocked the infirmary,
so now I have to track some kid down and staple his head.
Great, sounds like you got it under control.
Zuri, I'm serious.
I need you to get off your phone and help out around here.
I am helping. Because of me, when you search for Camp Kikiwaka,
the first thing that comes up isn't Ravi's dance bikini fitness program.
And we all thank you. No one should have to see Ravi in spandex.
But maybe you could do that while not ignoring
your responsibilities as a camp owner?
Are you crazy? I can't neglect my fans now.
Fine. I guess I'll just handle everything myself.
Great. I wish you would've thought of that
before you interrupted my live stream.
People can be so inconsiderate.
Yes! And the crowd goes wild!
Well, if it isn't Mr. Hangs Out At A Train Car Without Me.
My last name is Sawyer.
I saw your pics with you and Destiny by the train.
Why didn't you invite me?
It pained me right here.
Are you sure that's not your indigestion?
No, that hurts me right here.
Why don't we just hang out now and have fun?
Great! Let's take our own selfies
and show everyone that we're having
the "hashtag best time ever."
Okay.
Okay, good night, everyone.
(Phones beeping)
Guys, can you please turn your phones off?
Shiri, what is the world's most delicious dish?
Liam Hemsworth?
That's not what I meant, Shiri.
Although, Mama likey.
Lou, you and Shiri need to go to bed.
Fine. I'll save you for later, Hottie Hammy.
(Phone tweets)
Destiny, bed time!
But I'm dealing with an emergency!
Oh, what? Is there a sale on tiaras?
Wait, if there is, could you send me the link?
Tiaras are way back in.
No, I'm talking about this.
Emma: "Hashtag best time ever"?
Exactly.
Finn and Matteo left me out of their little best friends bro-sesh!
What should I do?
I don't know.
I've never been left out.
Don't worry, Destiny.
They're just a couple of dudes doing stupid dude stuff.
But I thought I was one of the dudes.
(Phone beeps)
Zuri, turn that thing off.
No, I need it.
I'm searching for ideas for my next viral video.
The internet is fickle.
If I don't do something to keep my followers, I'll lose them.
I'll become the next Spaghetti Cat.
Who?
Exactly.
(Phone beeps)
Zuri, you're on that thing way too much.
Just one more minute?
Ugh. Fine.
(Phone beeps)
(Chicken clucking alarm sound rings)
(Sarcastic) One more minute, huh?
To be fair, I was lying.
I can't believe you're still on that phone.
Me neither. My battery died two hours ago.
All right, Ravi. I was up all night
and I found a dish that will break the internet.
And Murphy's spirit.
And the souls of everyone at Camp Champion.
If they even have souls.
Well, I have come up with a pasta
that will make your taste buds sing like the Von Trapp family...
Shut your Von Trapp!
It doesn't matter what the food tastes like.
All the kids are responding to is what it looks like.
We're making...
A seafood tower.
Great! And we will go high class all the way. No deformed frogs.
I'm sorry, guys.
Back into the lake.
Smile! (Gasps)
(Camera shutter clicks)
Hey! Why are you taking a picture with her?
We're taking a picture because we are hashtag
super best buds in the whole world no backsies!
Oh, yes, there is backsies!
Hashtag super best buds in the whole universe infinity!
(Camera shutter clicks)
Hashtag super best buds in the whole universe infinity! Times two.
(Camera shutter clicks)
Guys, quit it.
You can't multiply infinity, it's already infinity!
Can so!
Your selfie skills are as good as your math. Derivative.
I wish you could understand how witty that was.
You know what I do understand?
That Finn has more fun with me.
Please. He's my friend and my bunk mate.
Misters before sisters.
Finn, you tell him who is your best friend.
Finn?
He's gone, and it's all your fault.
You know math gives him a headache.
Finn, Matteo wants to apologize to you,
for being so annoying.
I'm not annoying, I'm particular.
(Cellphones beep)
Finn just posted.
He's at the train car.
Hashtag missing my best bud.
Both: He's talking about me!
Ravi. Hmm.
Why are you putting lipstick on the crabs?
I'm bringing out their natural rose coloring for the photos.
Oh, good idea.
While you're at it, do their eyebrows too.
(Cellphone ringing)
Hey, chowderheads.
I was just calling to show you two what you're up against.
I give you...
Butter Murphy.
I used canola oil so you get all the handsomeness of regular Murphy
but with half the fat.
Mmm, I can't believe it's not Murphy.
I do not know whether I'm disgusted or creeped out.
No reason it can't be both.
I swear, Murphy, by all that is Ravi Ross,
our dish is going to be so amazing,
so spectacular, that you will rue the day...
And he hung up.
Guys. Is lunch almost ready? The campers are starving.
Oh, wow, that look's delicious.
Hey! Food is for impressing people on the internet,
not for eating.
Ugh, this whole "Giving people back their phones" thing
was a terrible idea.
How can you say that?
Because, while you two are making a crustacean castle,
the campers are going hungry.
Oh, they will be fine.
They're eating the bark off of the trees.
I just pulled a splinter out of a kid's tongue.
Hello Zuri Nation.
Are you ready to watch me do my next live stream?
(Kids cheering)
Zuri, you're supposed to be teaching swimming lessons at the lake.
The first lesson being, "How to treat a chemical burn."
Sorry, I'm busy.
Watch this.
That chair over there, is rigged.
Oh, I hope nothing bad happens to me
as I sit relaxing in that chair.
All: Ooh...
No, Zuri.
Everyone should be down at the lake.
All: Aww...
Watch this online later,
and remember to subscribe for a chance to win a dinner with Zuri
You pay. No fast food.
No one's gonna be watching anything
because you are done with the internet.
Hey! Give that back!
Zuri, I am serious. Your phone addiction is out of control.
(Screams)
I'm a mess!
That was supposed to be my mess.
Getting covered in paint is what I'm famous for.
Start filming! Now!
Start filming!
Zuri, you have a problem.
No, I don't.
I can quit anytime.
Come on, everyone's doing it.
Lou and Ravi are on an internet feud with Murphy.
Destiny and Matteo are basically walking selfies.
And Finn's out in the woods hash tagging from the train car.
Wait, what?
Kids aren't supposed to be out there unsupervised.
I've to go get him.
Wait! Come back!
Zuri, a camper could be in danger.
I was talking to my phone!
Finn, where are you?
Your BFF is here.
Bedazzled Favorite Friend.
I'm here too.
And I fought off a vicious wild animal to get here.
You fought off a fern.
It was prickly.
FINN: Guys! I'm in the train!
Look, Matteo, I hate to break it to you,
but Finn likes me more.
I'm tired of you two fighting over me.
That's why I tricked you both into coming here.
You tricked us into a nasty old train car?
Next time, can you trick us into a candy factory?
I'm sorry.
But you guys weren't listening to me at camp.
And we're gonna stay in here until we figure this out.
Why did you two freak-out over a couple of selfies?
Well, it's just that...
Never mind.
What?
You can tell us.
(Sighs) Okay. The truth is...
Back home, I get left out all the time.
But when I came here and met you guys,
I finally felt like I belonged.
So it really hurt my feelings when you guys hung out without me.
You wouldn't understand.
Actually, I do.
Pageants aren't the best place to make friends.
Enemies, yes.
Little Miss Rhode Island cut the brakes on my mom's car.
Bummer.
So,
when I saw you guys being all buddy-buddy,
I thought,
maybe you didn't wanna be my friend anymore.
That's crazy.
Not as crazy as Little Miss Rhode Island,
but crazy.
Listen,
we're all best buddies.
Like Emma said, we're the Three Musketeers, right?
All for fun.
All: And fun for all!
Now let's go.
This train car gives me the creeps.
And probably tetanus.
(Grunts)
Uh-oh. The door won't budge. It's locked.
(Snake hissing)
Finn, was that a snake,
or do you have gas?
(Snake hissing)
Yes to both.
Lou, I believe we have done it.
Murphy's margarine monstrosity
does not stand a chance against our mouth-watering, mollusk and mussel monolith.
Plus, there are crabs wearing make-up.
I think we can fit one more item on here.
Cephalopod me.
Okay. I'm gonna record this moment of victory,
so we can rub it into Murphy's fat-free face.
No! Oh.
So many claws.
Perhaps, next time, a mashed potato tower.
Where did that snake go?
Destiny: (Screams) It's coming right for us. (Snake hissing)
Eat Finn!
I'm mostly bones.
Oh, kids, there you are.
Watch out! There's a snake.
(Yelps) (Snake hissing)
Okay, nobody move.
We have to find a way to distract it.
Give me my phone.
Zuri, you're gonna live stream there kids being attacked by a snake?
You are sick!
No, I have an idea.
Here, snakey, snakey, snakey.
I've got a delicious mouse for you to eat.
That's technically a shrew.
You can tell by the pointy ears...
Zip it or I'll bite you.
Hey, snake. Eat this.
(Snake hissing)
Emma: It worked. Kids, hurry.
(Snake hissing)
Is everyone okay?
Yes. Thank you.
I need a change of pants.
Wait. Why are you both covered in paint?
I thought that was just a Zuri thing.
It was, but seeing how stupid Emma looked
made me realize internet fame isn't worth getting lead poisoning.
What? This is lead paint?
Just kidding.
Very funny.
But, thank you for sacrificing your phone in there.
That must have been really hard for you.
Eh, I was probably on the phone too much.
I was starting to dream in emoji.
I should have never given back everyone's phones.
Camp should be about having fun in real life.
Not being obsessed with what's on some screen.
Yeah.
These dumb phones almost ended our friendship.
And your "Let's work it out in an abandoned train car" idea
almost ended our lives.
So, next time we have a problem,
let's work it out in the mess hall.
Or the abandoned nuclear power plant.
I can't believe we were fighting over this guy.
So, from now on, phones are rebanned at Camp Kikiwaka.
(All cheering)
Good thing, because we were all out of control.
Ravi almost got krilled.
You have no idea.
The nurse had to perform an emergency squidectomy.
She said I'll be squirting ink for weeks.
Oh. (Laughs) Been there.
My advice is to walk slowly
and wear black underwear.
You got a lot of nerve showing up here.
Why don't you go hang out with your sous sushi chef, Sue?
Nah, she quit.
Sue now sells sea shells by the sea shore.
Besides, I just came by to congratulate you.
Your seafood tower post went viral.
It whipped my Butter Murphy's butt.
Ravi, we're famous!
We gotta make another video.
Quick, hurt yourself.
Here we go again.
Don't worry, Emma, I got this.
(Phone cracking)
Hey!
I just bought that phone.
Oh, sorry.
You can borrow mine.
It has a really cute snakeskin case.
(Exclaims)
(Phone ringing)
I'm not answering that.