1
00:00:02,016 --> 00:00:03,899
All right, we're off to the meeting.

2
00:00:03,924 --> 00:00:06,792
Have fun or cry, or
whatever you guys do.

3
00:00:07,497 --> 00:00:10,103
I have fun making other people cry.

4
00:00:11,486 --> 00:00:14,988
- Did you find your keys yet?
- Oh, yeah. Ten minutes ago.

5
00:00:14,990 --> 00:00:17,806
Now I'm just crawling
around looking for snacks.

6
00:00:18,710 --> 00:00:20,076
I told you a million times,

7
00:00:20,078 --> 00:00:21,661
- if you put your keys in the same...
- Bup-bup-bup.

8
00:00:21,663 --> 00:00:23,496
Maybe I left them upstairs.

9
00:00:25,667 --> 00:00:28,383
At some point tonight,
between hockey fights,

10
00:00:28,408 --> 00:00:30,095
could you throw away your tuna sandwich

11
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,314
that's been sitting there since lunch?

12
00:00:31,339 --> 00:00:33,783
- I'll get to it.
- Will you, though?

13
00:00:33,808 --> 00:00:36,025
'Cause "I'll get to it" has
kind of been your motto lately,

14
00:00:36,050 --> 00:00:37,967
only things never actually get got to.

15
00:00:38,366 --> 00:00:40,626
If it bothers you so
much, why don't you do it?

16
00:00:40,651 --> 00:00:42,267
'Cause I told you to do it.

17
00:00:43,973 --> 00:00:46,079
I was actually gonna do it,

18
00:00:46,104 --> 00:00:49,165
but... you just made it a thing.

19
00:00:50,179 --> 00:00:51,431
It's only a thing

20
00:00:51,456 --> 00:00:54,478
'cause you made it a thing, thing maker.

21
00:00:56,103 --> 00:00:58,812
Couldn't find them. I
promise I will put everything

22
00:00:58,837 --> 00:01:00,381
back in the closet when we get home.

23
00:01:00,406 --> 00:01:02,783
Better do it right away,
or it could become a thing.

24
00:01:04,181 --> 00:01:05,494
Mom, can you just drive?

25
00:01:05,496 --> 00:01:07,496
Unbelievable... you can't
keep track of your keys,

26
00:01:07,498 --> 00:01:08,798
so I get inconvenienced.

27
00:01:08,823 --> 00:01:11,040
Oh, look... I found your keys.

28
00:01:12,048 --> 00:01:13,318
Why do you have them?

29
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:15,320
I borrowed your car to go to the store

30
00:01:15,322 --> 00:01:17,706
When I couldn't find my keys. Anyway...

31
00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:19,241
you drive.

32
00:01:19,243 --> 00:01:20,826
Oh, and you're on empty.

33
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:25,714
- I'll try not to kill her.
- Whatever happens, happens.

34
00:01:29,213 --> 00:01:30,712
Nice work... You made us late

35
00:01:30,737 --> 00:01:32,604
and now Wendy's in my seat.

36
00:01:32,629 --> 00:01:35,775
- It's not your seat.
- Yeah, not today, thanks to you.

37
00:01:36,622 --> 00:01:39,251
I need my sponsor. I need my sponsor.

38
00:01:39,924 --> 00:01:42,517
You will never guess
what my mother just did.

39
00:01:42,542 --> 00:01:44,665
You do realize that's how you say hello.

40
00:01:45,526 --> 00:01:48,134
- I'm sorry. Hello.
- Hi.

41
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,900
You will never guess
what my mother just did.

42
00:01:52,316 --> 00:01:54,954
Instead of diving into that
all-too-familiar pool of resentment,

43
00:01:54,979 --> 00:01:56,126
let me ask you something.

44
00:01:56,151 --> 00:01:57,818
You're 40 years old, right?

45
00:01:58,130 --> 00:01:59,947
Not on Tinder.

46
00:02:01,076 --> 00:02:04,376
- You have a... a job?
- Yes. Mm-hmm.

47
00:02:04,401 --> 00:02:07,236
And your mother drives
you absolutely bananas.

48
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:10,919
- Oh, yeah.
- So why do you still live with her?

49
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,349
Wendy, I think you're
sitting on something.

50
00:02:13,374 --> 00:02:15,658
- Oh, what?
- My chair.

51
00:02:18,883 --> 00:02:20,917
Did you see what your mother just did?

52
00:02:21,216 --> 00:02:24,650
I know. Why the hell do
I still live with her?

53
00:02:32,513 --> 00:02:35,915
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

54
00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:47,141
What is happening today?
Now you're stealing my seat?

55
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:48,465
I am middle.

56
00:02:48,594 --> 00:02:49,727
What does it matter?

57
00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:52,086
That way I can have fries
no matter who orders them.

58
00:02:52,898 --> 00:02:54,102
Fine.

59
00:02:57,029 --> 00:02:59,016
- Wait, I have to pee. Get up.
- Oh!

60
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:04,191
That's why I like sitting next to you...

61
00:03:04,193 --> 00:03:06,266
You have the bladder of a camel.

62
00:03:07,111 --> 00:03:10,047
And the outsides of a much
more attractive animal.

63
00:03:12,381 --> 00:03:13,997
Do you guys think it's weird

64
00:03:14,022 --> 00:03:15,961
that I still live with my mother?

65
00:03:18,368 --> 00:03:21,135
I mean, she's asking,
so we can answer, right?

66
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,540
She opened the door... Walk on through.

67
00:03:24,047 --> 00:03:27,631
Okay, it's kind of like
if you hated muffins,

68
00:03:27,633 --> 00:03:30,555
but you decided to live
in a muffin factory.

69
00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:33,303
Oh, I'd love to live
in a muffin factory.

70
00:03:33,305 --> 00:03:36,073
What is a muffin factory?
Isn't it just a bakery?

71
00:03:36,075 --> 00:03:37,935
"Bakery" implies that
there'd also be bread.

72
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,794
We don't have a lot of time!

73
00:03:41,813 --> 00:03:44,515
Yes. You living with
your mother is weird.

74
00:03:44,517 --> 00:03:45,933
Really weird.

75
00:03:45,935 --> 00:03:47,797
Like "people talk about it" weird.

76
00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:50,398
But not us.

77
00:03:50,782 --> 00:03:52,189
What do you think?

78
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:55,547
Well, when you were both
getting sober, it made sense.

79
00:03:55,572 --> 00:03:57,985
But, uh, time has passed.

80
00:03:58,414 --> 00:04:00,864
A lot of time has passed.

81
00:04:01,586 --> 00:04:04,093
- Are you moving out?
- I'm not sure.

82
00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,420
Nora told me to figure
out what my options are,

83
00:04:06,422 --> 00:04:08,501
but I think I'm too poor for options.

84
00:04:08,868 --> 00:04:10,290
Christy...

85
00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:12,543
I see you fishing for an invitation,

86
00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:14,866
and I love you like sweet tea,

87
00:04:14,891 --> 00:04:17,631
but living together
always ruins a friendship.

88
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:20,050
You know, the way
children ruin a marriage.

89
00:04:21,282 --> 00:04:24,555
- There's plenty of room at my house.
- Oh, yeah, do that.

90
00:04:24,557 --> 00:04:26,055
One of my roommates is moving out

91
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,310
'cause she "fell in love."

92
00:04:29,715 --> 00:04:31,098
I don't know.

93
00:04:31,123 --> 00:04:33,454
Maybe moving is more
trouble than it's worth.

94
00:04:33,866 --> 00:04:36,066
Fee-fi-fo-fum.

95
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,149
Up.

96
00:04:41,227 --> 00:04:44,082
Oh, damn it, I forgot to put
money in the meter. Up again.

97
00:04:47,229 --> 00:04:49,410
So, would I get my own bathroom?

98
00:04:50,896 --> 00:04:52,416
Hurry up, Bonnie!

99
00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:53,558
Hey!

100
00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:55,597
Perfection takes time.

101
00:04:59,308 --> 00:05:02,010
You know... while you were waiting,

102
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,957
you could have thrown
away that sandwich.

103
00:05:03,982 --> 00:05:05,515
Could have.

104
00:05:06,632 --> 00:05:07,980
Didn't.

105
00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:10,661
Are you gonna get dressed?

106
00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:11,935
I am dressed.

107
00:05:12,738 --> 00:05:13,957
You're wearing a T-shirt.

108
00:05:13,982 --> 00:05:17,433
And pants and shoes and... let's go.

109
00:05:18,074 --> 00:05:20,049
You know what that T-shirt says to me?

110
00:05:20,074 --> 00:05:21,527
It says "the woman I'm with

111
00:05:21,552 --> 00:05:23,175
isn't worth buttons and sleeves."

112
00:05:24,379 --> 00:05:28,011
To me, it says the
"University of North Dakota."

113
00:05:29,455 --> 00:05:31,011
I'd like you to change.

114
00:05:31,036 --> 00:05:33,230
My clothes or who I am?

115
00:05:33,931 --> 00:05:35,183
Both.

116
00:05:37,363 --> 00:05:39,096
Not happening.

117
00:05:39,098 --> 00:05:42,261
Well, then I am no longer
in the mood for dinner.

118
00:05:43,238 --> 00:05:45,933
- But I'm starving.
- Then eat your sandwich!

119
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:53,977
So, Christy, what'd
you think of the place?

120
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,425
I love it.

121
00:05:55,450 --> 00:05:57,783
There's so much light and...

122
00:05:57,990 --> 00:05:59,550
hope.

123
00:06:00,363 --> 00:06:01,946
We won't charge extra for that.

124
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,457
It gets better... It's
Peter's night to cook,

125
00:06:07,459 --> 00:06:09,159
and he makes his own pasta.

126
00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:11,328
Wow. A fireplace, hardwood floors

127
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,163
and homemade pasta?

128
00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:15,748
- I'm getting lightheaded.
- Are you a diabetic?

129
00:06:15,773 --> 00:06:17,718
Have you traveled to
any tropical countries

130
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,052
in the last six months?

131
00:06:19,941 --> 00:06:21,588
It's just my socially awkward way

132
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:23,027
of saying I'm happy.

133
00:06:23,052 --> 00:06:24,697
Oh, got it. Sorry.

134
00:06:24,722 --> 00:06:27,129
We're kind of in nurse
mode all the time.

135
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,513
Well, I can't afford health insurance,

136
00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:31,418
so that's another plus.

137
00:06:32,652 --> 00:06:33,934
Mmm.

138
00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:35,636
Peter, this is delicious.

139
00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:38,572
Oh. Cooking relaxes me...
Which I really needed

140
00:06:38,574 --> 00:06:40,902
after a day of assisting Dr. Clevenger.

141
00:06:40,927 --> 00:06:42,066
The worst.

142
00:06:42,091 --> 00:06:44,361
So full of himself. Like
he's the only surgeon

143
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:48,027
who's ever resected a bowel without
spilling fecal matter into the abdomen.

144
00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:55,168
I helped him remove a
giant tumor the other day...

145
00:06:55,193 --> 00:06:56,893
It burst like a water balloon.

146
00:06:56,997 --> 00:06:58,777
Larry slipped in the pus.

147
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:01,878
More sauce?

148
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,425
I'm good.

149
00:07:05,131 --> 00:07:07,632
So, is that an apple tree out back?

150
00:07:07,879 --> 00:07:09,720
Yeah. In the fall, we make cider.

151
00:07:09,722 --> 00:07:10,937
Oh.

152
00:07:10,939 --> 00:07:13,316
Apple cider by the fireplace.

153
00:07:13,870 --> 00:07:15,585
How wonderful.

154
00:07:15,610 --> 00:07:17,943
Remember when that
teenager came into the E.R.

155
00:07:17,968 --> 00:07:20,435
with the apple lodged in his eye socket?

156
00:07:20,460 --> 00:07:22,191
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

157
00:07:22,216 --> 00:07:24,808
His friend shot it out of
an air cannon, and boom,

158
00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:28,371
nothing but apple sauce and ocular
fluid oozing out of the hole.

159
00:07:29,742 --> 00:07:31,197
Oh, boy.

160
00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:33,533
This is so fun.

161
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,641
If you live here, we
can do this every night.

162
00:07:36,666 --> 00:07:38,328
Ooh. And when we extracted

163
00:07:38,353 --> 00:07:40,271
the apple, the ocular nerve

164
00:07:40,296 --> 00:07:42,814
came stretching out like a rubber band.

165
00:07:45,439 --> 00:07:47,674
Where's your bathroom?

166
00:07:49,895 --> 00:07:52,262
He won't throw away the damn sandwich.

167
00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,648
It's been four days... if
it's still there tomorrow,

168
00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:57,228
I think I'm within my
rights to set him on fire.

169
00:07:57,590 --> 00:07:58,956
Why didn't you share about it?

170
00:07:59,213 --> 00:08:01,822
Maybe she knows how
ridiculous it sounds.

171
00:08:01,824 --> 00:08:04,241
This used to be a safe space, Marjorie.

172
00:08:04,243 --> 00:08:06,470
And then you started
coming and we've adjusted.

173
00:08:07,189 --> 00:08:08,328
Pow!

174
00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:10,736
Hit her back, Bonnie...
This is getting good.

175
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,766
I'm genuinely worried.

176
00:08:12,791 --> 00:08:14,167
Boyfriend Adam made an effort,

177
00:08:14,169 --> 00:08:16,336
Fiancé Adam is slacking off.

178
00:08:16,338 --> 00:08:18,455
At this rate, Husband Adam will only be

179
00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:21,408
hockey games, ball scratches and farts.

180
00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:23,593
At least you'll be married.

181
00:08:23,838 --> 00:08:26,763
Will I? We set a date, but
we haven't told anybody...

182
00:08:26,765 --> 00:08:28,439
I can still wiggle out of this.

183
00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:30,247
Over a sandwich.

184
00:08:30,845 --> 00:08:33,416
Safe space, Marjorie, safe space.

185
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,689
Ralph's watching the
kids... I'm a free woman.

186
00:08:35,691 --> 00:08:37,486
I can go nuts, as long
as I'm home by 9:30.

187
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,492
Oh. Okay. Um, you know what?

188
00:08:41,517 --> 00:08:43,198
I'm gonna meet you
there. I have a feeling

189
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,635
this one is hovering with a purpose.

190
00:08:46,201 --> 00:08:47,822
Sorry. Mm.

191
00:08:47,847 --> 00:08:49,103
Okay...

192
00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:50,392
- I did what you said.
- Mm-hmm.

193
00:08:50,417 --> 00:08:52,720
- I looked at my other options.
- Good for you.

194
00:08:53,041 --> 00:08:54,708
I can afford a studio apartment

195
00:08:54,710 --> 00:08:56,502
that used to be a guest bathroom,

196
00:08:56,527 --> 00:08:58,662
a basement out of Silence of the Lambs

197
00:08:58,664 --> 00:09:01,715
or I can move into a
gorgeous house with Wendy

198
00:09:01,717 --> 00:09:03,320
and never eat again.

199
00:09:03,345 --> 00:09:04,862
So... ?

200
00:09:05,095 --> 00:09:07,103
None of them are better
than what I've got now,

201
00:09:07,128 --> 00:09:09,840
so I guess I'm stuck living with my mom.

202
00:09:09,842 --> 00:09:12,549
No. You're choosing to live with her.

203
00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:16,041
Well, I wouldn't use those words.

204
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,900
- I'm gonna need you to.
- Why?

205
00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:21,064
Because if you're
stuck, you're a victim.

206
00:09:21,089 --> 00:09:23,039
There's power in making a choice.

207
00:09:23,064 --> 00:09:24,385
So I want to hear you say,

208
00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:26,806
"I'm choosing to live with my mother""

209
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,697
Fine.

210
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,830
I am choosing to live with my mother.

211
00:09:35,135 --> 00:09:36,917
You thought that was
gonna be hard for me,

212
00:09:36,919 --> 00:09:38,201
but it really wasn't.

213
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,597
I am choosing to live with my mother.

214
00:09:40,986 --> 00:09:44,502
- Great. Then you got to be nice to her.
- What?

215
00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:48,235
You expect me to live with
my mother and be nice to her?

216
00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:50,513
Why don't you just ask me
to solve global warming?

217
00:09:50,515 --> 00:09:51,916
Well, if you can do that, you
need to go ahead and do it,

218
00:09:51,941 --> 00:09:54,559
- but right now let's focus on your mom.
- Ugh!

219
00:09:54,584 --> 00:09:55,939
Yeah, but that's what I'm talking about.

220
00:09:55,964 --> 00:09:58,248
That "ugh" stuff has got to stop.

221
00:09:58,273 --> 00:10:00,924
But that's what comes out
when I focus on my mother.

222
00:10:00,949 --> 00:10:03,143
In the program, we talk about
being loving and tolerant.

223
00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:04,806
When it comes to your
mother, you are neither.

224
00:10:04,831 --> 00:10:06,281
Ugh!

225
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:08,736
Just to be clear, that
one was directed at you.

226
00:10:15,776 --> 00:10:19,149
Wait. Exactly how nice to
my mother do I have to be?

227
00:10:19,174 --> 00:10:22,508
Because I feel like any day I
don't hit her with a rock is a win.

228
00:10:22,510 --> 00:10:25,830
Well, for starters, you can't talk
about wanting to hit her with a rock.

229
00:10:26,517 --> 00:10:28,627
It doesn't have to be a rock.

230
00:10:28,652 --> 00:10:31,603
I don't want you to say mean
things to her or about her.

231
00:10:31,628 --> 00:10:33,697
I need you to be kind all the time.

232
00:10:33,722 --> 00:10:36,963
- But I don't...
- Be kind, be kind, be kind.

233
00:10:36,988 --> 00:10:38,713
But if I keep all my hate inside,

234
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:40,572
I'm gonna pop... I'm not that big.

235
00:10:41,196 --> 00:10:42,869
You're gonna keep it all inside.

236
00:10:42,894 --> 00:10:45,056
Every time you're angry at your mom,

237
00:10:45,081 --> 00:10:47,228
I want you to do something nice for her.

238
00:10:47,918 --> 00:10:49,487
That's crazy.

239
00:10:49,512 --> 00:10:51,978
I'll be doing nice things
for her all the time.

240
00:10:52,457 --> 00:10:54,978
That's right. And
here's the tricky part.

241
00:10:55,003 --> 00:10:57,420
You haven't told me the tricky part yet?

242
00:10:57,445 --> 00:10:59,695
You can't tell her
the nice things you do,

243
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,274
or anybody else, including me.

244
00:11:01,299 --> 00:11:02,392
I don't want to hear it.

245
00:11:02,417 --> 00:11:04,197
Wait, I don't even get credit?

246
00:11:04,222 --> 00:11:06,346
I changed my mind.

247
00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:09,510
I'll live in Wendy's
house of oozing eyeballs.

248
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,260
The point is, to feel love,

249
00:11:13,285 --> 00:11:15,314
you have to do love.

250
00:11:16,596 --> 00:11:18,531
- Hi, see you later.
- Hey, guys.

251
00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:20,549
- See you in a minute.
- Oh, good.

252
00:11:20,574 --> 00:11:22,074
You're doing all your whining to her.

253
00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:24,119
Then we won't have to
hear it at the bistro.

254
00:11:24,144 --> 00:11:25,894
Kiss my ass, Mom!

255
00:11:27,273 --> 00:11:29,978
Oh, am I supposed to start now?

256
00:11:35,078 --> 00:11:37,295
- Morning.
- Morning.

257
00:11:38,508 --> 00:11:39,993
Where'd the coffee go?

258
00:11:40,018 --> 00:11:41,935
I started a pot before I took my shower.

259
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,516
- I drank it.
- The whole pot?

260
00:11:45,826 --> 00:11:49,696
Great. I hope you enjoyed it.

261
00:11:49,721 --> 00:11:50,887
Meh.

262
00:11:54,835 --> 00:11:56,118
I like your boots.

263
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,753
You can't have 'em.

264
00:11:57,755 --> 00:12:00,539
What the hell would I
do with gigantic work...

265
00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:03,391
So, what are you up to today, Mom?

266
00:12:04,864 --> 00:12:06,461
I'm going to the Home Depot.

267
00:12:07,368 --> 00:12:09,237
That sounds exciting.

268
00:12:09,964 --> 00:12:11,938
Compared to your life, sure.

269
00:12:12,781 --> 00:12:14,614
Good one, Mom.

270
00:12:14,639 --> 00:12:17,383
You sure have a fun energy.

271
00:12:18,976 --> 00:12:21,821
Well, I've got a pot of
coffee in me. That helps.

272
00:12:21,846 --> 00:12:24,146
- Later.
- Bye.

273
00:12:24,782 --> 00:12:26,985
I hope you have a super day.

274
00:12:28,102 --> 00:12:30,452
Drinks all the freakin' coffee I made.

275
00:12:30,477 --> 00:12:33,180
Maybe I want some of the
freakin' coffee I made.

276
00:12:33,205 --> 00:12:34,621
No, no, no. No.

277
00:12:34,886 --> 00:12:38,680
Do something nice. Do something nice.

278
00:12:39,478 --> 00:12:42,196
Like pick up her sweater
that she dumped in the fruit bowl.

279
00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:44,504
'Cause that's where that belongs.

280
00:12:44,529 --> 00:12:47,016
Probably shoves her
socks in the crisper.

281
00:12:47,844 --> 00:12:50,973
She is the most selfish,
inconsiderate, petty,

282
00:12:50,975 --> 00:12:54,250
narcissistic, lazy,
coffee-hogging monster.

283
00:12:56,258 --> 00:12:59,235
Well, I can't put this
perfectly folded sweater

284
00:12:59,260 --> 00:13:01,149
on this catastrophe of a bed.

285
00:13:05,738 --> 00:13:09,446
I am a spiritual giant.

286
00:13:14,986 --> 00:13:16,750
Oh, when did you get here?

287
00:13:16,775 --> 00:13:18,825
Uh, just a few minutes
ago. Where's your mom?

288
00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:22,125
- She went to Home Depot.
- Home Depot? I'm gonna need a beer.

289
00:13:22,852 --> 00:13:24,727
- I'll get it.
- Thanks.

290
00:13:24,752 --> 00:13:27,446
So your mom's been a real
pain in the ass lately, huh?

291
00:13:28,855 --> 00:13:30,679
Uh...

292
00:13:30,681 --> 00:13:31,543
No.

293
00:13:31,568 --> 00:13:33,613
Come on, that's why I came over early,

294
00:13:33,638 --> 00:13:35,138
so we could both vent.

295
00:13:35,163 --> 00:13:37,130
It's like our tiny support group.

296
00:13:37,355 --> 00:13:39,434
Bonnie Anonymous.

297
00:13:40,730 --> 00:13:44,064
I... love my mom.

298
00:13:44,331 --> 00:13:46,762
That is why I choose
to live here with her.

299
00:13:48,130 --> 00:13:50,816
Oh, God, is she behind me?

300
00:13:52,787 --> 00:13:54,769
Can't I say nice things about my mom

301
00:13:54,794 --> 00:13:56,105
without it being weird?

302
00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:57,559
I don't think so.

303
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:01,402
Whoa, leave that. It's still in play.

304
00:14:01,746 --> 00:14:04,512
Really? It's been sitting here for days.

305
00:14:04,537 --> 00:14:06,454
It smells so bad, even Gus won't eat it.

306
00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:08,238
Look, whoever throws away that sandwich

307
00:14:08,263 --> 00:14:09,996
will be the weak one in our marriage,

308
00:14:10,021 --> 00:14:12,355
forever, till the day we die.

309
00:14:12,757 --> 00:14:15,457
Your vows are gonna be amazing.

310
00:14:16,637 --> 00:14:18,927
Well, I got stuck in line
behind a lesbian couple

311
00:14:18,929 --> 00:14:20,763
building a deck.

312
00:14:22,577 --> 00:14:25,019
- Hey.
- Hey.

313
00:14:25,793 --> 00:14:27,980
I'm gonna go take a shower.

314
00:14:28,005 --> 00:14:30,672
Not that we dress for
dinner around here.

315
00:14:30,697 --> 00:14:32,330
There are over 40 places in this town

316
00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:33,886
that are okay with a T-shirt.

317
00:14:33,911 --> 00:14:37,591
- I Yelped!
- "I Yelped." I'll make you yelp.

318
00:14:39,738 --> 00:14:41,707
Aw...

319
00:14:42,145 --> 00:14:44,293
look what he did.

320
00:14:45,548 --> 00:14:48,482
Hey, after I shower,

321
00:14:48,507 --> 00:14:51,075
how 'bout we catch that
movie you wanted to see?

322
00:14:51,621 --> 00:14:53,965
The one with the fighting robots?

323
00:14:54,011 --> 00:14:55,427
Yeah.

324
00:14:55,949 --> 00:14:57,902
Wow. Okay.

325
00:14:58,552 --> 00:14:59,884
Thanks.

326
00:15:00,438 --> 00:15:01,884
And then how about I change my shirt

327
00:15:01,909 --> 00:15:03,142
so we can go to dinner, too?

328
00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:04,666
Really?

329
00:15:05,142 --> 00:15:08,157
That would be nice. Thank you.

330
00:15:08,182 --> 00:15:09,798
You're welcome.

331
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,056
I'm telling you, this last week,

332
00:15:19,081 --> 00:15:20,821
Adam has been a totally different guy.

333
00:15:20,846 --> 00:15:22,346
Every time I turn around, boom,

334
00:15:22,371 --> 00:15:23,904
he's done another nice thing.

335
00:15:23,929 --> 00:15:24,900
Mmm.

336
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,425
He keeps making the bed,

337
00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:28,923
he's done the laundry
twice, he even vacuumed.

338
00:15:28,948 --> 00:15:31,499
He's like a maid you can have sex with.

339
00:15:32,571 --> 00:15:34,618
Best part, he never says a word.

340
00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:37,157
Doesn't need the credit.
That's how amazing he is.

341
00:15:39,604 --> 00:15:41,637
Hey, this is silk.

342
00:15:42,179 --> 00:15:44,681
Well, bring it over to our house.

343
00:15:44,706 --> 00:15:46,532
Maybe Adam can clean it for you,

344
00:15:46,557 --> 00:15:48,673
without taking credit.

345
00:15:49,019 --> 00:15:50,790
Christy, are you okay?

346
00:15:50,815 --> 00:15:53,501
I'm fine. I just got a tough chicken.

347
00:15:55,048 --> 00:15:58,226
Well, I'm glad Adam is making an effort

348
00:15:58,251 --> 00:16:00,282
so you don't have to die alone.

349
00:16:00,687 --> 00:16:03,407
- Jury's still out on that.
- Why?

350
00:16:04,204 --> 00:16:06,195
Because... there's a little part of me

351
00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:08,439
that thinks this is a trap...
I mean, like, what if he's doing

352
00:16:08,464 --> 00:16:10,696
all these nice things to trick
me into picking up the sandwich?

353
00:16:10,835 --> 00:16:13,564
Yeah. Or you could just take
the nice things he's doing

354
00:16:13,589 --> 00:16:16,759
at face value, and not assume
people are out to get you.

355
00:16:16,784 --> 00:16:19,853
Sure. I'll just jump on the
bullet train to Chump Town.

356
00:16:20,527 --> 00:16:22,994
Lot of happy marriages in Chump Town.

357
00:16:25,917 --> 00:16:27,701
I'm not arguing with you,

358
00:16:27,726 --> 00:16:30,204
I am just saying you
are completely wrong.

359
00:16:30,475 --> 00:16:33,142
The nicer I am, the angrier I get.

360
00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:35,417
It's only been a week... Give it time.

361
00:16:35,482 --> 00:16:37,699
I know you told me that
I couldn't take credit,

362
00:16:37,701 --> 00:16:40,165
but you didn't tell me that I
would have to watch someone else

363
00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:43,074
get credit day after
day after day after day.

364
00:16:43,230 --> 00:16:44,595
After day!

365
00:16:45,181 --> 00:16:47,485
Oh. That must be hard.

366
00:16:47,510 --> 00:16:49,104
That's what I'm saying.

367
00:16:49,129 --> 00:16:50,579
Too bad. Keep doing it.

368
00:16:50,581 --> 00:16:51,540
Now, I got to go.

369
00:16:51,565 --> 00:16:53,907
- But what if I...
- I really got to go.

370
00:16:53,968 --> 00:16:56,415
And now with the weather,
here's Nora Rogers.

371
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,156
Hope you got those jackets ready,

372
00:16:58,181 --> 00:16:59,946
'cause tonight's gonna
be a chilly one. Uh-huh.

373
00:16:59,971 --> 00:17:01,868
And going into Tue...

374
00:17:03,644 --> 00:17:05,235
Oh, for God's sake.

375
00:17:05,938 --> 00:17:07,573
Stop being an idiot!

376
00:17:07,598 --> 00:17:09,352
Just throw away the damn sandwich!

377
00:17:09,556 --> 00:17:11,339
- Uh...
- What?

378
00:17:12,536 --> 00:17:14,665
You've never yelled at me before.

379
00:17:16,095 --> 00:17:17,489
Sorry.

380
00:17:18,173 --> 00:17:21,298
I've been swallowing
a lot of anger lately.

381
00:17:22,112 --> 00:17:23,779
Christy, I want to throw it away

382
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:25,180
'cause your mom's been so nice lately,

383
00:17:25,205 --> 00:17:28,922
but it's kind of like Vietnam...
I know I need to get out,

384
00:17:28,947 --> 00:17:31,251
but how can I achieve peace with honor?

385
00:17:31,915 --> 00:17:35,374
Maybe you should stop treating
your relationship like a war.

386
00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:37,673
You guys are both on the same side.

387
00:17:38,572 --> 00:17:39,946
You're right.

388
00:17:40,234 --> 00:17:42,952
Unless you're in on it.

389
00:17:43,267 --> 00:17:44,504
What are you talking about?

390
00:17:44,529 --> 00:17:47,028
Maybe she got you to say these
things so you could trick me

391
00:17:47,053 --> 00:17:49,754
into throwing the sandwich
away, so then I'm the guy...

392
00:17:49,890 --> 00:17:52,224
I sound like I'm crazy, don't I?

393
00:17:52,624 --> 00:17:54,918
I'm just gonna throw the sandwich away.

394
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:56,823
Good.

395
00:17:57,364 --> 00:18:00,035
And next time you two
draw a line in the sand,

396
00:18:00,060 --> 00:18:01,676
can it not be with tuna?

397
00:18:05,322 --> 00:18:07,785
- What are you doing?
- I am throwing away this sandwich

398
00:18:07,810 --> 00:18:08,809
because I love you.

399
00:18:08,834 --> 00:18:10,934
No! I wanted to throw it away

400
00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:12,299
because I love you.

401
00:18:12,324 --> 00:18:14,043
Too late. It's done.

402
00:18:17,334 --> 00:18:20,802
I'm sorry I told you what to do.

403
00:18:20,804 --> 00:18:21,731
I'm sorry you had to.

404
00:18:21,756 --> 00:18:23,639
I really should make more of an effort.

405
00:18:23,961 --> 00:18:26,817
That's the most romantic
thing you've ever said to me.

406
00:18:34,976 --> 00:18:36,759
Mmm, Adam.

407
00:18:40,024 --> 00:18:42,340
And I know I'm not supposed
to be telling you this,

408
00:18:42,365 --> 00:18:45,344
but I picked up her
sweater and put it away.

409
00:18:45,649 --> 00:18:48,606
And while I was doing it,
I didn't want to kill her.

410
00:18:48,631 --> 00:18:50,831
I was too busy being happy for her.

411
00:18:51,201 --> 00:18:52,918
What did you do to me?

412
00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:54,870
I didn't do it, you did.

413
00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:56,421
I just made a suggestion.

414
00:18:56,423 --> 00:18:58,123
Well, it worked.

415
00:18:58,125 --> 00:19:00,848
Good. Maybe next time you
won't push back so hard.

416
00:19:01,045 --> 00:19:02,160
I won't.

417
00:19:02,185 --> 00:19:03,718
Yeah, you will.

418
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:06,098
Also, you're gonna need
an umbrella tonight.

419
00:19:06,304 --> 00:19:07,614
But it's sunny.

420
00:19:07,639 --> 00:19:09,639
You're gonna have to learn to trust me.

421
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,559
Here you go.

422
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:14,272
Here you go. Here you go.

423
00:19:14,274 --> 00:19:17,369
- What's this?
- This is the "Save the Date" card

424
00:19:17,394 --> 00:19:18,629
for my wedding.

425
00:19:18,654 --> 00:19:21,019
You may or may not be
invited, but save the date.

426
00:19:21,518 --> 00:19:22,651
Oh.

427
00:19:22,676 --> 00:19:24,342
You ready to be a bridesmaid?

428
00:19:24,367 --> 00:19:27,691
Mm, God, my skin's already
itching from the polyester.

429
00:19:28,372 --> 00:19:32,240
It's official... I am no longer
backing out, I'm locking it in.

430
00:19:32,242 --> 00:19:34,887
So Adam wasn't just trying to trick you?

431
00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:37,090
No, Marjorie, you were wrong.

432
00:19:39,252 --> 00:19:41,503
Oh, my God, Christy, what's wrong?

433
00:19:42,829 --> 00:19:45,230
You... made me love my mother,

434
00:19:45,255 --> 00:19:46,926
and now she's leaving me.

435
00:19:52,035 --> 00:19:53,636
Told you.

436
00:20:04,196 --> 00:20:06,196
Oh, God.

437
00:20:06,221 --> 00:20:09,015
We're in Vietnam again?

438
00:20:10,657 --> 00:20:12,991
This is me doing nice things.

439
00:20:13,016 --> 00:20:16,134
'Cause that's what I do...
I'm a nice thing doer.

440
00:20:16,159 --> 00:20:18,576
Hey, what the hell happened to my lunch?

441
00:20:18,601 --> 00:20:20,517
Oops.

442
00:20:24,319 --> 00:20:26,019
Gus?

443
00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:28,542
Did you eat my sandwich?

444
00:20:29,776 --> 00:20:31,742
And the plate?

445
00:20:34,656 --> 00:20:36,132
See you later, Mom!

446
00:20:36,134 --> 00:20:37,921
Enjoy your sandwich!

447
00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:39,585
Oh. Hey, Adam.

448
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:46,461
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --