1
00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:05,170
- Oh, Drake.
- I'm sorry, Amber.
2
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,923
It's just like Brad to have
to have the last word.
3
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:12,052
- I'm sorry I'm late. What happened?
- We want to see the end.
4
00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:15,014
- I want you, Drake.
- I know you do.
5
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:17,349
But you and I can never
be together that way.
6
00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:19,451
- What?
- There's something
7
00:00:19,476 --> 00:00:21,169
I never told you, Amber.
8
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:24,231
I'm actually...
your half-brother.
9
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:25,382
- [GASPING]
- What?
10
00:00:25,407 --> 00:00:26,215
Huh?
11
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,196
So, what happens next?
12
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:34,867
Well, I get the medical award
for separating the Siamese twins.
13
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:39,329
Then Amber and I go to Venezuela
to meet our other half-brother, Ramon.
14
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:44,334
And that's where I find the world's
biggest emerald. It's really big...
15
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:45,794
but it's cursed.
16
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:50,007
- That's so cool.
- God, that is good TV.
17
00:00:52,215 --> 00:00:57,215
Sync by chocomoon
www.addic7ed.com
18
00:00:57,239 --> 00:01:01,639
{an8}♪ So no one told you
life was going to be this way ♪
19
00:01:01,663 --> 00:01:04,363
{an8}♪ Your job's a joke,
you're broke ♪
20
00:01:04,387 --> 00:01:07,187
{an8}♪ Your love life's D.O.A. ♪
21
00:01:07,211 --> 00:01:11,211
{an8}♪ It's like you're always
stuck in second gear ♪
22
00:01:11,235 --> 00:01:13,435
{an8}♪ When it hasn't been your day ♪
23
00:01:13,459 --> 00:01:17,259
{an8}♪ Your week, your month,
or even your year ♪
24
00:01:17,283 --> 00:01:20,883
{an8}♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
25
00:01:20,907 --> 00:01:22,807
{an8}♪ When the rain starts to fall ♪
26
00:01:22,831 --> 00:01:25,631
{an8}♪ I'll be there for you ♪
27
00:01:25,655 --> 00:01:27,655
{an8}♪ Like I've been there before ♪
28
00:01:27,679 --> 00:01:31,079
{an8}♪ I'll be there for you ♪
29
00:01:31,103 --> 00:01:35,903
{an8}♪ 'Cause you're there
for me, too ♪
30
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:42,017
{an8}- Pheebs, play with me.
- No.
31
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,560
{an8}This game is grotesque.
32
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:47,689
{an8}Twenty armless guys joined
at the waist by a steel bar,
33
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:51,276
{an8}forced to play
soccer forever? Ugh!
34
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,654
{an8}Hello? Human rights violation.
35
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,698
{an8}Don't feel so bad for them.
After they're done playing,
36
00:01:56,866 --> 00:02:01,036
{an8}I break out the little plastic women
and everybody has a pretty good time.
37
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:04,248
{an8}Why don't you play
with your roommate?
38
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,041
{an8}Eh, he's, uh...
39
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,168
{an8}he's not a big fan
of foosball.
40
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:11,130
{an8}Uh-oh. Ooh. Are we not getting
along with the new boy?
41
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:15,259
{an8}No, he's all right. He just, uh,
spends most of his time in his room.
42
00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:18,053
{an8}Maybe because you haven't
taken time to get to know him.
43
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,805
{an8}Let's remedy that,
shall we?
44
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,058
- We don't need to remedy that.
- Oh, yeah, it'll be fun.
45
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,563
- What was that?
- Hi.
46
00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:30,482
Um, I thought it'd be fun if
the three of us had some beers
47
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,192
and got to know each other.
48
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,487
- All right. That sounds all right.
- Oh, good. Okay.
49
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:40,200
Oh, no, I have to go,
because I'm late for my, um...
50
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:42,452
"Green Eggs and Ham"
discussion group.
51
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:47,541
Um, tonight, it's "Why he would
not eat them on a train."
52
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:50,210
- Have fun. Bye.
- That was so lame.
53
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:52,337
I know, yeah, heh.
54
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,798
- Okay, talk to him.
- Ahem.
55
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:02,973
So you, uh, think that Speed Racer
guy gets a lot of tickets or...?
56
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:07,769
Ha-ha-ha. That's good. That's good.
So who broke up with who?
57
00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:09,688
You kidding?
I broke up with her.
58
00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:13,525
She actually thought Sean Penn
was the capital of Cambodia.
59
00:03:13,549 --> 00:03:15,027
That's good, man.
60
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,155
When everybody knows that
the, uh, capital of Cambodia...is...
61
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:20,115
is, uh...
62
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,534
- It's not Sean Penn.
- Not Sean Penn.
63
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,995
All right, I got a
funny one. All right?
64
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,956
My last girlfriend, Tilly,
we're eating breakfast, right?
65
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,500
I made all these pancakes.
There was, like, 50 pancakes.
66
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,837
All of a sudden, she turns
to me and says, "Eddie,
67
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,048
I don't want to see
you anymore." Ha, ha.
68
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,092
It was literally like she had
reached into my chest,
69
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:42,679
ripped out my heart and
smeared it all over my life.
70
00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:46,767
Now, there's, like, this incredible
abyss, and I'm falling,
71
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,728
and I keep falling, and I don't
think I'm ever going to stop.
72
00:03:49,752 --> 00:03:51,752
[MANAICAL LAUGHTER]
73
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,027
That wasn't such a
funny story, was it?
74
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,285
♪ And a crusty old man
Said I'll do what I can ♪
75
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,746
♪ And the rest of the rats
Played maracas ♪
76
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,626
That's it. Thanks.
Good night.
77
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,463
- Phoebe's got another job, right?
- Heh.
78
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,675
- Great set tonight, Pheebs.
- Yes.
79
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:20,968
I know.
80
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,887
- Well, we should probably get going.
- Mm.
81
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,848
We should go, too. I've got
patients at 8 in the morning.
82
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:29,309
You know how we always
stay at your apartment?
83
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,770
I thought tonight
we'd stay at my place.
84
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:34,523
I don't know.
I don't have my jammies.
85
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:35,857
Heh.
86
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,359
Well, maybe you
don't need them.
87
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:40,445
My baby sister,
ladies and gentlemen.
88
00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,282
Shut up. I'm happy.
89
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,245
Oh, this is so nice. All right,
I have to make a speech.
90
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,788
Ahem. I just want to say
91
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:53,542
that of all the guys that Monica
has been with, and that is a lot,
92
00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:58,588
- I like you the best.
- Aw.
93
00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:01,425
Oh, thank you, Pheebs.
That's very sweet.
94
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:03,093
Did you hear that?
95
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:06,847
She likes me best. And, apparently,
there have been a lot.
96
00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:09,766
Not a lot.
97
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:12,477
Phoebe's kidding.
Phoebe's crazy.
98
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,023
Phoebe's dead.
99
00:05:19,838 --> 00:05:21,838
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
100
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,030
- Hi.
- Hi.
101
00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:24,740
I'm looking for
Eddie Manoick.
102
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:27,617
Oh, uh, he's not here right now.
I'm Chandler.
103
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:30,704
Can I take a message or...
or a fish tank?
104
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:32,080
Thanks.
105
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:33,957
Come on in.
106
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,375
I'm Tilly.
107
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:41,548
Oh.
108
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,509
I gather by that "Oh,"
that he told you about me.
109
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,554
Yeah, your, uh, name came up
110
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:51,266
in a conversation that
terrified me to my very soul.
111
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,061
He's kind of intense, huh?
112
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:57,064
Yes! Hey, can I ask you,
is Eddie a little...?
113
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:59,941
- A little what?
- Bit country?
114
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:04,404
Come on in, you roomie.
115
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:06,907
Hello, Tilly.
116
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,576
Eddie, I just came by
to drop off your tank.
117
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,953
That was very
thoughtful of you.
118
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,705
It was very thoughtful.
119
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,586
Well, okay then.
120
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:22,255
I'm going to go. Bye.
121
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,132
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
122
00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:27,886
So, we getting a fish?
123
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,597
You had sex with her,
didn't you?
124
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,727
Pheebs, check it out,
check it out, check it out.
125
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:40,065
Oh, ooh, "Soap Opera Digest."
That's one of my favorite digests.
126
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,860
- Page 42, page 42.
- Okay, okay.
127
00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:45,904
Okay. Ooh. Hey,
128
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,949
"New Doc on the Block,
'Days of Our Lives' Joey Tribbiani."
129
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,618
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh, cool picture.
130
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,037
- Ah.
- Ooh, I look good.
131
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:59,000
Hey, is this true? That you
write a lot of your own lines?
132
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:01,169
Well, kind of, yeah.
133
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:05,340
Like, remember last week
when Alex was in the accident?
134
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,384
The line in the
script was:
135
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:11,054
"If we don't get this woman
to a hospital, she's going to die."
136
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:14,307
But I made it, "If this woman
doesn't get to a hospital,
137
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,435
she's not going to live." See?
138
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:21,523
Oh, okay, I see
what you did there.
139
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,874
Aren't you afraid
though that the writers
140
00:07:25,899 --> 00:07:28,053
are going to be kind of mad
when they read this?
141
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,531
Huh.
142
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:34,077
I never really thought about the writers.
The scripts just kind of come to my house.
143
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:38,415
But you know what?
144
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:42,043
This makes me look good,
which makes the show look good,
145
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,964
which makes the writers look good.
So how could they be mad about that?
146
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,442
[KEYBOARD KEYS CLATTERING]
147
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,509
Makes up most
of his own lines.
148
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:50,969
Son of a...
149
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,724
yeah, well,
write this, jerkweed.
150
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,684
I fall down an elevator shaft?
151
00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:00,854
What the hell does this mean?
I fall down an elevator shaft?
152
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:04,524
Uh, I don't know.
I just bring the scripts.
153
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:09,488
They can't kill me.
I'm Francesca's long-lost son.
154
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,740
Right.
155
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,700
Uh, could you sign?
156
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,870
No! No way! I'm not signing that!
157
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:20,373
I don't think that's going to
affect the plot of the show.
158
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,793
How can they
do this to me?
159
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:29,132
All right, uh, I'm just going to go.
160
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:30,884
Sorry.
161
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:39,226
Well, it wasn't
that many guys.
162
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,395
If you consider how many
guys there actually are,
163
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,148
- it's a very small percentage.
- Hey,
164
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:48,109
it's not that big a deal.
I was just curious.
165
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,028
- Good night.
- Good night, Richard.
166
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:52,113
Good luck, Mon.
167
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:54,369
All right, before I tell
you, uh, why
168
00:08:54,394 --> 00:08:56,600
don't you tell me how many
women you've been with.
169
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:03,041
- Two.
- Two? Two? Heh.
170
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,460
How is that possible? I mean,
171
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,754
have you seen you?
172
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,258
Well, I mean, what can I say?
173
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:15,637
I was married to Barbara for 30 years.
She was my high school sweetheart.
174
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,806
Now you. That's two.
175
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,809
- Two it is. Heh.
- Mm-hm.
176
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,311
Okay, time for bed. I'm going
to go brush my teeth.
177
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:26,022
Whoa, whoa, no,
wait a minute, now.
178
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,983
Come on, it's your turn.
179
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:30,026
Oh, come on.
180
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:34,990
You know, I don't need the
actual number, just a ballpark.
181
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:39,494
Okay, it is definitely
less than a ballpark.
182
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,710
Wow, I am so glad
I'm not Monica right now.
183
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,670
Tell me about it.
184
00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:51,506
So, what's your magic number?
185
00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:54,050
Ahh...
186
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:58,597
Come on, you know everyone
I've been with. All both of them.
187
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:01,516
Well, ahem, there's you...
188
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,768
Better not be doing
these in order.
189
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:09,024
Okay, uh, Billy Dreskin...
Pete Carney...
190
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:10,859
- Ah.
- Barry...
191
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,153
and, uh...oh, Paolo.
192
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,531
Oh, yes, the weenie
from Turini.
193
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:21,953
Oh, honey, are you
jealous of Paolo?
194
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:25,790
Oh, come on, I'm so much happier
with you than I ever was with him.
195
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,043
- Really?
- Oh, please.
196
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:31,296
That Paolo thing was
barely a relationship.
197
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:35,216
All it really was was just, you
know, meaningless, animal sex.
198
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:44,059
Okay, you know, that sounded
so much better in my head.
199
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,437
Eddie, I didn't sleep
with your ex-girlfriend.
200
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,899
That's exactly what someone
who slept with her would say.
201
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:54,194
This is nuts. This is crazy.
She came over for, like, two minutes,
202
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,738
dropped off a fish tank
and left...end of story.
203
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,366
- Where's Buddy?
- Buddy?
204
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,159
My fish, Buddy.
205
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,496
There was no fish
when she dropped it off.
206
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,414
Oh, this is unbelievable.
207
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,968
First, you sleep
with my ex-girlfriend.
208
00:11:08,993 --> 00:11:11,194
Then you insult my intelligence
by lying about it,
209
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:13,338
then you kill my fish?
My Buddy?
210
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,382
Hey, I didn't
kill your fish.
211
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,425
Look, Eddie...
212
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,056
would you look at
what I'm doing here?
213
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:25,058
Now that can't be smart.
214
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,648
So we're just going to
take this guy right off you,
215
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,317
and put him here
in Mr. Pocket.
216
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,737
Tangelo?
217
00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:50,709
That's it? That's the giant number
you were afraid to tell me?
218
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,962
- Well, yeah.
- Well, that's not bad at all.
219
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:56,881
You had me thinking
it was, like, a...fleet.
220
00:11:58,342 --> 00:11:59,526
Are you really okay with it?
221
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,344
Oh, honey, I'm fine.
222
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,679
Oh, yay.
223
00:12:02,703 --> 00:12:04,703
[SIGHING RELIEF]
224
00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:07,892
Okay, about that two...
225
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:09,394
What?
226
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,603
All right.
227
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:12,647
What about my two?
228
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,483
Well, that just seems
like a really small number.
229
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:16,735
Right.
230
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,362
- And...?
- And, well...
231
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,490
don't you have a lot
of wild oats to sow?
232
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:27,495
Or is that what you're doing with me?
Oh, my God! Am I an oat?
233
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,123
Oh, honey, you
are not an oat.
234
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:34,169
I...I mean, I don't know. I guess
I'm just not...an oat guy.
235
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:36,437
I've only slept with women
I've been in love with.
236
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,757
But you've only slept
with two people.
237
00:12:39,881 --> 00:12:41,881
[SIGHS]
238
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,430
Right.
239
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,184
Wow.
240
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,853
Oh, wow.
241
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,856
You know I love you,
too, right?
242
00:12:54,933 --> 00:12:57,658
[SIGHS] Now I do.
243
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:02,989
Oh, Ross...
244
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,699
Ross, please listen to me.
245
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:09,078
Ross, you are so much better
for me than Paolo ever was.
246
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:12,373
You care about me, you're loving,
you make me laugh...
247
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,918
If I make you laugh,
here's an idea.
248
00:13:14,985 --> 00:13:16,965
Why don't you invite Paolo
over to have a little romp
249
00:13:16,990 --> 00:13:18,712
in the sack, and I'll just
stand in the corner
250
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,424
- and tell knock-knock jokes?
- Ross! Agh!
251
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:24,010
Stop! God, Ross!
252
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:27,263
What you and I have is special.
All Paolo and I ever had was...
253
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:28,681
Animal sex? Animal sex?
254
00:13:28,705 --> 00:13:30,705
[GROANS]
255
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,686
So, what are you saying?
256
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:36,815
You're saying that, like, there's
nothing between us "animal" at all?
257
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:40,985
I mean, there's not even,
like, um...a little animal?
258
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,821
Not even...
not even, like, like...
259
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,447
chipmunk sex?
260
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,951
Okay, Ross,
261
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,954
try to hear me, okay?
262
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,289
I...hey, I'm not going
to lie to you, okay?
263
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:57,210
- It was good with Paolo...
- Knock, knock.
264
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:02,423
But...what you and I have
is so much better, okay?
265
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:07,011
We have tenderness.
We have intimacy. We connect.
266
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,680
You know, I swear.
267
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,015
This is the best
268
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,935
I have ever had.
269
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,522
- Until now.
- Aah! Oh, don't!
270
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,904
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
271
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,656
Richard just told
me he loved me.
272
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:27,991
- Oh, my God!
- I know.
273
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,576
Honey, that's great!
274
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:30,994
- I know.
- Ha, ha.
275
00:14:31,103 --> 00:14:33,112
- I just can't find...
- They're in the top drawer.
276
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,206
- Hurry.
- Why? You need one, too?
277
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,792
Oh...yeah.
278
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,336
- I found them!
- Whoo.
279
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,258
There's only one.
280
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:48,219
- Monica?
- Hi.
281
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:52,473
Uh, I'll be right there. We're just,
um...trying to decide something.
282
00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:57,395
Rachel?
283
00:14:57,419 --> 00:14:59,019
[GROWLING]
284
00:14:59,043 --> 00:15:01,043
[STOPS GROWLING]
285
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,908
- Hey.
- Hey.
286
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:13,953
- They're just trying to decide something.
- Oh, good. Good, good.
287
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:24,464
So, is, um...was your mustache,
did...did it used to be different?
288
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,718
- No.
- Oh.
289
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:34,599
How do you, uh, you know,
keep it so neat?
290
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,686
- I have a little comb.
- Oh.
291
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:44,167
- And what do you call that?
- A mustache comb.
292
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,652
Thank you.
293
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:50,865
Okay, I...I will do your
laundry for one month.
294
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,242
- No!
- Okay, okay, okay!
295
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:55,078
I will...I will...I will...
296
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,956
hey, I will clean the apartment
for two months.
297
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:02,460
I'll give this to you now, if you can
tell me where we keep the dustpan.
298
00:16:04,384 --> 00:16:06,384
[GRUNTING]
299
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,846
So, were you in 'Nam?
300
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,687
- Rock, paper, scissors?
- I got you.
301
00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:23,022
BOTH: One, two, three.
302
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:24,857
- Yes!
- Agh!
303
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:28,319
- Ah!
- Fine. Go have sex.
304
00:16:28,343 --> 00:16:29,943
Thank you.
305
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:33,157
No! You have got it
completely wrong.
306
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,202
John Savage was "Deer Hunter,"
no legs.
307
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:39,330
Jon Voight was "Coming Home,"
couldn't feel his legs.
308
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:43,710
No way. You've got it totally the other
way around, my friend. Jon Voight...
309
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:45,712
- Honey? Ahem.
- What? Oh.
310
00:16:45,736 --> 00:16:47,736
[CLEARS THROAT]
311
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,806
- Shall we?
- It's not going to happen.
312
00:16:57,057 --> 00:17:00,309
They're doing it tonight.
We can do it tomorrow.
313
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:06,566
Uh, in the future, if I could
see the schedule beforehand...
314
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:12,155
So, when I woke
up this morning
315
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:15,533
he'd stolen all the insoles
out of my shoes.
316
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:16,826
Why?
317
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:20,872
Because he thinks I slept with his
ex-girlfriend and killed his fish.
318
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,915
Why would you
kill his fish?
319
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:29,005
Because sometimes, Phoebe,
after you sleep with someone
320
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:31,591
you have to kill a fish.
321
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,136
Chandler, honey,
322
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:36,512
I'm sorry.
323
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,057
Can we watch Joey's
show now, please?
324
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,100
- Yeah!
- Wait. He's not here yet.
325
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,603
So? He's on the show.
He knows what happens.
326
00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:47,231
Oh, I'm fine about my
problem now, by the way.
327
00:17:47,255 --> 00:17:48,655
Oh, good.
328
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:51,694
Amber...
329
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,739
I want you to know that
I will always be there for you...
330
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,991
as a friend
and as your brother.
331
00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:59,243
Oh, Drake.
332
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:01,245
Hard day, huh?
333
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:04,165
- First, the medical award, now this?
- Yeah.
334
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,895
Some guys are just
lucky, I guess.
335
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,692
- Ha, ha.
- Ha-ha-ha.
336
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,504
Dr. Ramoray,
337
00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:12,381
- report to first floor Emergency, stat.
- Hmm. [WHIMPERS]
338
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,884
Well, then, uh...
339
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,386
I, uh...guess that's me.
340
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:23,226
Anyone else need to go on the
elevator? Dr. Horton? Dr. Wong?
341
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:26,479
No, no. They only said you.
342
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:31,234
Well, okay. All right.
343
00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:34,070
- I love you, Drake.
- Yeah, whatever.
344
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:38,074
- Oh, no! [SCREAMING]
- Drake! Look out!
345
00:18:40,598 --> 00:18:42,598
[STILL SCREAMING]
346
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:45,039
- Did they just kill off Joey?
- No.
347
00:18:45,063 --> 00:18:47,363
- [LOUD THUD]
- [SCREAMING STOPS]
348
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,168
Now, maybe.
349
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,756
ROSS: Come on! Open up!
We want to talk to you.
350
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,424
I don't feel like talking.
351
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,426
Come on, Joey.
We care about you.
352
00:18:57,594 --> 00:19:01,889
We're worried about you.
And some of us have to pee.
353
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,562
I'm sorry, Joey.
354
00:19:08,186 --> 00:19:09,686
Hey...
355
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:13,151
Listen, sorry about your death.
That really sucks.
356
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:17,155
- We came over as soon as we saw.
- How could you not tell us?
357
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:21,117
I don't know. I was...kind of hoping
no one would ever find out.
358
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:25,329
Well, maybe they could find
a way to bring you back.
359
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:31,002
Nah. They said that when they found
my body, my brain was so smashed in,
360
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:34,839
that the only doctor
who could've saved me was me.
361
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,885
It's supposed to be some
kind of irony or something.
362
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,555
But Joey, you're
going to be fine.
363
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:46,184
You don't need that show.
It was just a dumb soap opera.
364
00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:49,562
Phoebe, this was the greatest
thing that ever happened to me.
365
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:52,398
Yes. I was going
to incorporate that.
366
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,986
Oh, good, here's Monica.
She'll have something nice to say.
367
00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:02,074
Um, I straightened out your shower
curtain so you won't get mildew.
368
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,119
What? To me, that's nice.
369
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,497
It's going to be okay.
You know that.
370
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:10,750
No, I don't.
371
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:15,338
It's like, you know, you work
your whole life for something,
372
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,715
and you think
that when you get it,
373
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:20,301
it's never going to be as good
as you thought it would be,
374
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:22,261
but this so was.
375
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,222
You know,
it changed everything.
376
00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:27,642
Like, the other day, I got
this credit card application,
377
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,186
and I was pre-approved.
378
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:36,108
Huh? I've never been pre-approved
for anything in my life.
379
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:37,860
I'm sorry, man.
380
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:41,364
Yeah. Joey, honey, I don't know
if this will mean anything to you
381
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:44,200
but you'll always be
pre-approved with us.
382
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,161
No, that means
nothing to me.
383
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,000
Ahh!
384
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:56,254
Pecan sandy?
Just made them.
385
00:20:57,881 --> 00:20:59,298
Yeah, all right.
386
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:02,593
What are these,
raisins?
387
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,220
Uh...sure, why not?
388
00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:13,813
Listen, Eddie. Um...ahem.
[CLEARS THROAT]
389
00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:17,858
I've been thinking about our
current living situation and, uh...
390
00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:19,193
why are you smiling?
391
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:22,780
I got a little surprise.
Look, I got us a new fishy.
392
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:24,865
I named him, uh...
393
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,618
"Chandler," you know,
after...after you.
394
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:39,547
Well, that's not even
a real fish.
395
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:43,301
You know, that's
a Goldfish cracker.
396
00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:46,846
So, what's your
point, man?
397
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:52,893
Okay, good night...
398
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,230
you big freak of nature.
399
00:21:57,254 --> 00:21:59,254
[DOOR CLOSES]
400
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,206
{an8}- [GASPING] Aah.
- Hey.
401
00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:19,670
{an8}Hey.
402
00:22:19,963 --> 00:22:21,714
{an8}- Hey.
- Hey.
403
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:25,217
{an8}- Ooh. Brisk tonight.
- Oh, man.
404
00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:28,763
{an8}- Let's never speak of this.
- You got it.
405
00:22:31,687 --> 00:22:35,687
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