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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, ♪
♪ gonna have myself a time. ♪
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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ humble folks without temptation. ♪
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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, ♪
♪ gonna leave my woes behind. ♪
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♪ Ample parking day or night, ♪
♪ people spouting, "Howdy, neighbor". ♪
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♪ I'm headin' down to South Park, ♪
♪ gonna see if I can't unwind. ♪
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♪ Murpph mmmph mmph ♪
♪ mmmph mrrr mff mrmmph! ♪
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♪ Murpph mmmph ♪
♪ mmph mmph mrrr mff mrmmph! ♪
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♪ So come on down to South Park, ♪
♪ and meet some friends of mine. ♪
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Synced by Reef
www.addic7ed.com
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Yeah, yeah, do we rock,
yeah, yeah, take it to the top.
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Yeah, yeah, are we gonna stop,
no way, no way.
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Cheer squad roar call!
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Heidi! Nicole! Bebe.
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Lala. Fred. Annie.
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Lisa Burger.
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- Oh, God.
- Here we go.
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Could we maybe try one
without Lisa Berger?
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You guys, stop it.
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Okay, Lisa, that's great but you
need to have more confidence, okay?
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00:01:06,072 --> 00:01:08,559
- But I'm the fat one.
- What?
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Every cheerleading squad has
the fat ugly cheerleader and that's me.
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See, that's the problem, Lisa.
You have a bad self image.
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Just project all your sassiness
to all the boys out there, okay?
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There's only one boy
that Lisa cares about.
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- Yeah, Lisa has a crush on Butters.
- Shut up.
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But Lisa, that's great! Have you
told Butters that you like him?
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No way. I'd just get made fun of.
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Lisa, this is exactly what you need.
Take Butters to see a movie or something.
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It'll do wonders for your confidence.
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So then the family with the mustache
saw the cupcakes
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then lady takes out a gun
and puts it in his face and she says...
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Excuse me, Butters.
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Oh, yes?
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Well, I was just wondering if maybe
you'd like to go to a movie this weekend.
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Oh, like a date?
No thanks, Lisa.
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I really appreciate the offer
but you're too fat for me.
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Okay. Thanks.
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See you, Lisa!
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Ha-ha, Butters got asked out
by a fat girl.
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At least she didn't try to sit on him.
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You guys, come on.
That's not cute.
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You shouldn't rip on her
because she's fat.
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You should rip on her
because she's ugly, okay?
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She looks like someone hit her
in the face with a hot shovel
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and that's why she sucks, alright?
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♪ Camptown ladies sing this song,
Doo-dah, Doo-dah... ♪
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♪ Camptown race-track five miles long,
Oh, doo-dah day ♪
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- What the BEEP is your problem?
- Oh, hey, Wendy.
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Are you just an asshole?
Is that it?
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- Am I just an asshole?
- Yeah!
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Well, no, I've got arms and legs,
I've got everything.
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Lisa Burger asked you out
and you called her "fat"?!
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Do you have any idea
how you made her feel?
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She's a really nice girl!
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I think she's a nice girl too.
She's just too big for me.
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She's a little overweight, but that's
pretty normal for a girl in fourth grade.
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Well Kim Kardashian is skinnee
and she just had a baby.
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What?!
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I'm sorry, Wendy, but I have a different
standard when it comes to my women.
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I want a woman who takes care of herself
and knows how to look good,
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who's got perfect skin and no ***
and perfect everything.
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This is a fantasy, you moron!
You ever heard of Photoshop?
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Kim Kardashian is a short overweight
woman who manipulates her image
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and makes average girls
feel horrible about hemselves.
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- You're a liar!
- Look it up, stupid!
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In real life, Kim Kardashian
has the body of a hobbit.
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You're gonna be in real trouble
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when the teachers find out what
you said to that poor girl.
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Take a seat, Wendy.
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I guess some mean things were said
and I need to get to the bottom of it.
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Oh, good, Lisa Burger told on you?
Good.
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00:03:38,965 --> 00:03:42,932
No, Wendy, apparently you called
Butters' girlfriend a hobbit.
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Are you serious?
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You did! You said Kim is short, fat,
with big hairy feet and she's a hobbit.
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That's not his girlfriend.
It's Kim Kardashian!
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00:03:52,352 --> 00:03:57,155
But, Wendy, Kim Kardashian is considered
to be extremely beautiful. Okay?
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Right. But she's not in real life.
She's a hobbit.
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00:03:59,862 --> 00:04:01,399
Wow, she said it again!
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00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,958
Now, Wendy, Kim might be full figured,
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00:04:03,983 --> 00:04:07,069
but a woman's outward appearance
isn't all that matters, okay?
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00:04:07,094 --> 00:04:10,324
Have you stopped to consider
that maybe, just maybe...
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You're jel?
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00:04:13,550 --> 00:04:15,142
I'm not jel.
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And I happen to be the biggest
feminist at this school.
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That may be true, but there's
a very fine line, Wendy,
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between being a feminist
and being a hater, emkay?
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00:04:24,984 --> 00:04:29,370
And you're gonna have to find that line
because nobody likes a girl who's jelly.
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Okay, kids, there's been
some hurtful and hateful things
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being said around this school.
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And so, we're gonna hear
from a guest speaker,
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here to explain why Kim Kardashian
is not a hobbit.
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Please welcome Aquaman.
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- That's right.
- Oh.
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Okay, first of all, I'm not Aquaman.
I'm a recovering gay fish.
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Yes, I have met Aquaman, I have hung out
with Aquaman,
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but the only thing I have in common with
Aquaman any more is my love for the sea.
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Now, there've been malicious rumors
started at this elementary school
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that my beautiful fiancée is a hobbit.
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That is not funny.
And it's not true, all right?
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00:05:18,249 --> 00:05:21,559
Yes, Kim is heavier than most
of her pictures show her to be.
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Yes, she gets her hair
lasered off her body.
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00:05:24,348 --> 00:05:28,442
Yes, she has a friend named Gandalf
who happens to be a wizard.
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I'm sorry, excuse me a minute.
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Bitch, how you not the hobbit again?
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Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
Right, right, right, yeah, okay.
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Yup, okay. Let me.. Okay.
Yep, I got it. Okay. Love you too.
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Okay. If my fiancée Kim
is a hobbit,
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00:05:49,739 --> 00:05:54,559
then how come... then, okay,
if she's a hobbit
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then how come she don't live
in a hole in the ground?
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Boom! All y'all just got lit up, cop!
She don't live in no hole in no ground,
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she is lives in a big-ass mansion
with me,
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00:06:04,543 --> 00:06:06,977
in her room that is slightly below ground.
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So, you can...
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She-she is sexy and womanly
and she smokes a pipe,
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she can blow them rings
over her head and...
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Hold up.
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Bitch, you not a hobbit, right?
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No, I know, you just you smoke that long
pipe sometimes when you sit by the fire.
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Oh, it's a... Oh, okay. Gottit, gottit.
What do you call it? Yup.
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Yep. Got it. Okay.
Yep. Love you too.
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That is not a hobbit pipe,
for your information.
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It is a personal oral humidifier,
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to keep all the wrinkles around
her mouth from showing.
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So ha ha, all you haters, ha!
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- Butters, Butters, come here for a sec.
- Oh, no, you don't, Wendy.
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You're not trapping me inside
the computer lab to beat me up.
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00:06:52,966 --> 00:06:55,969
Butters, would you please let me show you
something so we can put this behind us.
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Alright, but if you try
to punch me, I'll scream.
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00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:04,112
I want you to see just how easy this is,
so we can better understand each other.
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This is Lisa Burger's class photo, right?
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00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:07,275
Okay...?
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00:07:07,276 --> 00:07:10,017
Now, first thing we do is just
photoshop the bulges on the sides,
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00:07:10,018 --> 00:07:13,337
we select the eyes, make them a nicer
shape, take off any *** on her skin,
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00:07:13,354 --> 00:07:16,592
lengthen the neck, add more to the hair,
select the lips, make 'em fuller,
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00:07:16,624 --> 00:07:19,792
take out any puffiness on her skin,
here, add fullness to the breast,
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00:07:19,793 --> 00:07:22,076
length to the torso, take away
that fold of skin,
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00:07:22,077 --> 00:07:25,899
streamline the shoulders, put
highlights in the eyes and... there.
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- That's Lisa Burger?!
- Do you see what I'm talking about?
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- She's pretty!
- That's how people like Kim Kardashian
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destroy the self image
of little girls everywhere.
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Hold up, are you saying
that girl wants to go out with me?
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- What? What do you mean?
- And I said no?!
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Oh, man, I got to upload this
and then go buy her some flowers,
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- ...and then go tell her I love her.
- Butters!
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Lisa? Lisa Burger?
Anybody seen Lisa Burger?
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00:07:53,861 --> 00:07:56,408
Oh, hi, Eric, have you seen
Lisa Burger anywhere?
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I saw the picture of her
you put on the Internet.
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I know. I'm gonna
tell her I love her,
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00:08:00,096 --> 00:08:02,321
and we're gonna be together
and be happy forever.
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00:08:02,888 --> 00:08:05,089
Butters, I don't know
how to tell you this, but...
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00:08:05,115 --> 00:08:08,995
- Lisa Burger's going out with Clyde.
- What?! Since when?
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00:08:08,996 --> 00:08:11,586
Dude, since like noon or 12:30 today.
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00:08:18,907 --> 00:08:22,692
Hey, Token. Token,
check out my girlfriend.
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- Wow, she's hot.
- Yeah, we just started dating seriously.
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00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,302
You want to be my new girlfriend, ***?
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00:08:29,328 --> 00:08:32,302
- Oh, man, you're a lucky guy.
- Yeah, I know.
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00:08:32,726 --> 00:08:34,911
Hey, Clyde, nice score, dude.
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00:08:34,912 --> 00:08:37,284
- Yeah!
- Ha, thanks, guys.
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00:08:39,328 --> 00:08:42,342
Hey, Stan, did you see Clyde's
going out with Lisa Bu-Burger.
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00:08:42,343 --> 00:08:44,871
Yeah, dude. She looks amazing.
Clyde sent me her pics.
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- She got really hot all of a sudden.
- Yeah, I wouldn't mind tapping that ass.
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00:08:49,140 --> 00:08:50,442
Excuse me.
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00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:53,027
Oh, hey, Wendy.
Clyde sent me these, don't be jel.
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Why would I be jel?
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00:08:54,528 --> 00:08:56,741
Well, you got to admit.
Lisa Burger's pretty hot, Wendy.
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00:08:56,766 --> 00:08:59,212
She's not hot.
That's supposed to be the point.
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00:08:59,213 --> 00:09:02,593
- She looks pretty hot here.
- Lisa Burger is not hot!
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00:09:02,594 --> 00:09:04,318
She's fat and ugly.
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00:09:04,346 --> 00:09:07,770
- That's not very nice, Wendy.
- What's your problem, Wendy?
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00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:12,022
- I'm sorry. It's nothing personal, Lisa.
- You're just a hater.
171
00:09:12,023 --> 00:09:14,842
Why don't you mind your own business
instead is of being jelly.
172
00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:18,493
I am not jelly! I made
that picture of you to prove a point.
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00:09:18,494 --> 00:09:21,211
- And it's being taken the wrong way!
- It's okay, babe.
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00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:23,417
Girls that don't have what you
have will always put you down.
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00:09:23,418 --> 00:09:24,655
Thanks, babe.
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00:09:24,656 --> 00:09:27,283
Now, Wendy, I've tried
to be patient with you,
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00:09:27,309 --> 00:09:29,855
because you've always
been a good student, mkey?
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00:09:29,857 --> 00:09:33,642
But calling a little girl fat
and ugly is never mkay.
179
00:09:33,644 --> 00:09:35,565
Mr. Mackey, I was trying
to show kids that...
180
00:09:35,566 --> 00:09:39,949
No, no excuses. You have a problem
being jelly, Wendy. Mkey?
181
00:09:39,951 --> 00:09:42,897
Just maybe I should have you
sent off to Jelly School.
182
00:09:42,898 --> 00:09:44,170
Jelly School...?
183
00:09:44,195 --> 00:09:47,612
That's right. In fact, I'm gonna call
the Jelly School right now, mkay?
184
00:09:47,644 --> 00:09:50,438
I'm sorry about this, but
it's gone too far. I've had it.
185
00:09:50,672 --> 00:09:52,495
Hello, is this the Jelly School?
186
00:09:52,496 --> 00:09:54,723
Mkay, I have a girl here
who's extremely jelly.
187
00:09:54,749 --> 00:09:57,204
I was wondering if you can
take her in for a few weeks.
188
00:09:57,417 --> 00:10:00,963
Mkay, you're full? Mkay, I guess
she dodged the bullet this time
189
00:10:00,964 --> 00:10:03,074
but she better watch her jelly behavior
190
00:10:03,084 --> 00:10:06,515
Mr. Mackey, I appreciate the point
you're trying to make.
191
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,540
Y-you do...?
192
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:13,067
Okay, well I'm not actually on the phone
with the Jelly School, Wendy, mkay?
193
00:10:13,068 --> 00:10:16,203
Yes. I'm... I'm a few steps
ahead of that, yes.
194
00:10:16,204 --> 00:10:19,989
Mkay, well, Wendy, I'm just tryin' to...
...Bye, Jelly School.
195
00:10:19,991 --> 00:10:22,387
Wendy, I'm just trying
to make you understand
196
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:25,010
how serious it is when
you lash out at other girls,
197
00:10:25,035 --> 00:10:27,410
Thank you, Mr. Mackey.
Yeah, I will... change.
198
00:10:27,411 --> 00:10:28,660
M... kay.
199
00:10:29,155 --> 00:10:32,287
___
200
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:38,477
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor
to give the Person of the Year award
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00:10:38,478 --> 00:10:41,754
to this year's winner, Pope Francis.
202
00:10:49,933 --> 00:10:51,803
Gracias... Gracias...
203
00:10:51,804 --> 00:10:55,369
- All of my children...
- Alright, hold up.
204
00:10:55,370 --> 00:10:57,481
Hold up. I'm sorry, Pope,
but hold up.
205
00:10:57,506 --> 00:10:59,506
I just gotta say this.
206
00:10:59,563 --> 00:11:04,173
If my fiancée is a hobbit, then, um...
207
00:11:05,127 --> 00:11:06,830
Then what, bitch?
208
00:11:07,331 --> 00:11:12,505
Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay,
if she was... if she is a hobbit,
209
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:16,639
then how come she don't
turn blue when goblins are near?
210
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:20,494
Oh, you didn't think of that!
Oh, I guess she's not a hobbit, then!
211
00:11:20,495 --> 00:11:23,072
She must be a beautiful sexy woman!
212
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:28,592
The hobbit doesn't turn blue
around goblins, just his sword does.
213
00:11:28,593 --> 00:11:32,750
Man, get the BEEP out of here, you hobbit
trivia bitch. Who the BEEP asked you?
214
00:11:32,751 --> 00:11:36,433
Nobody is talking any more
shit about my woman all right?
215
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,103
She is gorgeous.
216
00:11:38,128 --> 00:11:41,440
If she was here you could all see
for yourself how beautiful she is,
217
00:11:41,441 --> 00:11:45,245
but she can't be here, because
she has a movie coming out on Friday,
218
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:48,557
directed by Peter Jackson,
called "The Hobbit".
219
00:11:48,813 --> 00:11:50,149
Hold up.
220
00:11:51,315 --> 00:11:54,220
Bitch, that movie you got
coming out is called "The Hobbit"...?
221
00:11:55,061 --> 00:11:59,556
Yeah, but it... It's what?
Oh, yeah, yup, yup.
222
00:11:59,557 --> 00:12:02,260
I got it. Yup. Let me tell them.
Love you too.
223
00:12:02,802 --> 00:12:05,563
Kim is not even in that movie.
224
00:12:05,565 --> 00:12:08,588
That movie is just loosely
based on her television show,
225
00:12:08,613 --> 00:12:10,312
"Keeping up with the Kardashians",
226
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:16,053
which is a show about short loud little
people living in a fantasy world. Hold up.
227
00:12:17,417 --> 00:12:20,013
Bitch, if you the hobbit, you
need to let me know right now,
228
00:12:20,014 --> 00:12:22,476
'cause I'm making a fool
of myself out here.
229
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:26,238
Yeah, yeah, do we rock,
yeah, yeah, take it to the top.
230
00:12:26,263 --> 00:12:29,035
Yeah, yeah, are we gonna stop,
no way, no way.
231
00:12:29,060 --> 00:12:30,756
Cheer squad roar call!
232
00:12:30,757 --> 00:12:32,521
Heidi. Nicole.
233
00:12:32,522 --> 00:12:35,690
Bebe. Lala. Fred. Annie.
234
00:12:35,691 --> 00:12:39,031
Lisa Burger.
235
00:12:40,647 --> 00:12:43,011
And I'm your captain, Wendy.
236
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:57,967
Look, Wendy we're all
very happy for Lisa, okay?
237
00:12:57,969 --> 00:13:01,961
Nobody here is jelly but the boys don't
even notice the rest of us any more.
238
00:13:01,962 --> 00:13:04,769
All we're asking is you do for us
what you did for Lisa,
239
00:13:04,770 --> 00:13:06,239
and help with our imperfections.
240
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,740
- I won't do you, guys. I'm sorry.
- Why, don't you care about us?
241
00:13:09,741 --> 00:13:11,211
Because it's wrong.
242
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:14,775
If you guys are unhappy with the way
you look, then that's your problem.
243
00:13:15,950 --> 00:13:17,321
Hey, girls.
244
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:21,075
Don't be sad. If you want
to look really hot, like me,
245
00:13:21,076 --> 00:13:25,157
you just got to be willing to sweat.
Get down to the gym and work.
246
00:13:30,887 --> 00:13:34,329
All right, girls we're gonna trim
that fat and tone those bodies.
247
00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:36,330
Let's do this.
You first.
248
00:13:37,408 --> 00:13:39,386
Get right up there.
249
00:13:39,517 --> 00:13:41,410
All right, now look here.
250
00:13:44,181 --> 00:13:47,389
Come on, burn it off. You got this.
251
00:14:07,415 --> 00:14:10,269
Look at those thighs...
Come on, you gotta push harder!
252
00:14:18,463 --> 00:14:20,769
♪ You better work out, whore! ♪
253
00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:25,784
Whoa... She looks sweet.
254
00:14:25,785 --> 00:14:29,323
Whoa, look at Bebe.
I had no idea Bebe was that hot.
255
00:14:29,324 --> 00:14:31,518
Yeah, but did you see Token's girlfriend?
256
00:14:33,905 --> 00:14:36,072
Um, my bitch is still
the hottest, you guys.
257
00:14:36,074 --> 00:14:39,289
No way, go back to Annie Nelson.
She's built like a slim-Jim.
258
00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:42,928
Yeah, clearly Annie Nelson is the hottest
girl at our school. Look at those eyes!
259
00:14:42,929 --> 00:14:46,806
Did you not see Erica Smith's boobs, Cal?
They're like perfect water balloons.
260
00:14:46,831 --> 00:14:48,690
I do love water balloons.
261
00:14:54,195 --> 00:14:57,301
- Hey, Wendy, can I ask you a big favor?
- What?
262
00:14:57,302 --> 00:15:00,845
A lot of the pictures I have of you
are kinda outdated and I...
263
00:15:00,846 --> 00:15:02,707
You know, I wanna be able
to show everyone how pretty you are.
264
00:15:02,708 --> 00:15:04,109
So you want me to
photoshop-picture me
265
00:15:04,110 --> 00:15:05,728
to take away any
imperfections, is that it?
266
00:15:05,753 --> 00:15:08,871
- How dare you, Stan?
- Wendy, why is it such a big deal?
267
00:15:08,872 --> 00:15:11,403
Because people should be
okay with the way they look!
268
00:15:11,404 --> 00:15:15,236
I have pimples on my forehead.
My bottom teeth are crooked. So what?!
269
00:15:15,237 --> 00:15:17,539
- You have short legs.
- I do?
270
00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:21,009
Yeah, and Jason has freckles,
and Billy Turner has narrow shoulders.
271
00:15:21,034 --> 00:15:23,813
The chearleaders? Bebe has acne,
Lala's arms are too short,
272
00:15:23,838 --> 00:15:26,128
Nicole's eyes are puffy,
Annie has thin hair,
273
00:15:26,153 --> 00:15:28,886
and Heidi Turner's butt is flat!
274
00:15:30,789 --> 00:15:34,648
- Oh, God dammit.
- You... hater!
275
00:15:34,649 --> 00:15:38,607
Wendy, in my office, right now, mkay?
276
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,887
♪ One thing I know, ♪
♪ My girl ain't no hobbit. ♪
277
00:15:45,888 --> 00:15:48,581
♪ She might be stumpy, ♪
♪ that don't mean she a hobbit... ♪
278
00:15:48,583 --> 00:15:51,315
♪ She's not a hobbit, ♪
♪ because she couldn't be. ♪
279
00:15:51,762 --> 00:15:54,625
♪ She's got no Bagginses ♪
♪ in her family tree. ♪
280
00:15:54,626 --> 00:15:57,899
♪ On occasion she hangs out ♪
♪ with dwarf friends. ♪
281
00:15:57,900 --> 00:16:01,075
♪ But she never went on a quest ♪
♪ with her dwarf friend. ♪
282
00:16:01,076 --> 00:16:03,828
♪ Except for one time, ♪
♪ she went to kill that dragon ♪
283
00:16:03,853 --> 00:16:05,668
♪ She took his skull and... ♪
284
00:16:05,669 --> 00:16:09,005
Hang on a minute, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
285
00:16:10,829 --> 00:16:14,172
Bitch, remember when you out
to kill that dragon with them dwarves...?
286
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:16,202
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
287
00:16:16,203 --> 00:16:19,384
Right, right, right. Yup, I got it.
Yup. Love you too.
288
00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:23,308
♪ It wasn't no dragon, ♪
♪ so my girl ain't no hobbit, ♪
289
00:16:23,309 --> 00:16:26,375
♪ That was at Quiznos ♪
♪ and my bitch went to rob it, ♪
290
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:29,505
♪ 'Cause they got the hap ♪
♪ that she rubs on her cellulite, ♪
291
00:16:29,506 --> 00:16:32,975
♪ While she drinkin' her grog ♪
♪ and singin' those merry songs... ♪
292
00:16:32,976 --> 00:16:34,305
♪ At night... ♪
293
00:16:34,331 --> 00:16:39,485
♪ My girl ain't no hobbit. Please, God, ♪
♪ tell me I ain't engaged to no hobbit ♪
294
00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:47,011
♪ Who are you yelling for? ♪
♪ South Park. ♪
295
00:16:47,013 --> 00:16:50,577
♪ Let's go, cows. Who are you ♪
♪ yelling for? South Park. ♪
296
00:16:50,602 --> 00:16:51,708
Let's go, cows.
297
00:16:51,709 --> 00:16:53,292
Heidi! Nicole! Bebe.
298
00:16:53,317 --> 00:16:54,878
Lala. Fred. Annie.
299
00:16:54,879 --> 00:16:56,680
Lisa Burger.
300
00:16:57,044 --> 00:16:58,296
Wendy.
301
00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,560
- Oh, she sucks!
- Oh, God...!
302
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:03,154
- Can we try this without Wendy?
- I agree.
303
00:17:03,155 --> 00:17:06,423
Hey, come on, you guys.
She just needs more confidence.
304
00:17:06,508 --> 00:17:07,956
It's okay, Wendy.
305
00:17:07,957 --> 00:17:11,962
Who cares if no one likes you.
Maybe you should go out with Butters.
306
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,506
Let's just get back to cheering, okay?
307
00:17:14,531 --> 00:17:17,331
I don't think so.
We don't wanna cheer with a hater!
308
00:17:17,344 --> 00:17:19,919
Yeah, you have a bad self image, Wendy.
309
00:17:19,944 --> 00:17:22,315
You need to get down to the gym
and get a better one.
310
00:17:22,316 --> 00:17:23,843
Yeah, that's right!
311
00:17:23,869 --> 00:17:27,063
See, the problem with having
fake pictures of yourself,
312
00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:30,377
is that you start to believe
in your own bullshit!
313
00:17:30,378 --> 00:17:34,462
This has gone way too far,
and if society won't fix it, I will!
314
00:17:34,463 --> 00:17:35,836
What are you gonna do?
315
00:17:35,862 --> 00:17:38,719
Something that should have
been done a long time ago.
316
00:17:42,153 --> 00:17:45,237
It's the morning News with
Tom and Tammy Thompson.
317
00:17:45,722 --> 00:17:51,348
A little girl is making big waves
with her fight against Photoshop.
318
00:17:51,386 --> 00:17:54,314
Nine-year-old Wendy Testaburger
started a campaign
319
00:17:54,315 --> 00:17:59,136
and tomorrow will speak before the State
Senate to ban the use of Photoshop images,
320
00:17:59,137 --> 00:18:01,409
saying they're harmful to young girls.
321
00:18:01,597 --> 00:18:03,660
Young lady, what is your message?
322
00:18:03,686 --> 00:18:06,329
Watching what Photoshop
is doing to society...
323
00:18:06,330 --> 00:18:10,054
Little girls are aspiring to have
bodies they can't possibly have!
324
00:18:10,055 --> 00:18:12,061
We have to put a stop to it.
325
00:18:12,149 --> 00:18:14,954
And you're not just being a hater.
326
00:18:15,476 --> 00:18:16,779
No...
327
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,728
'Cause sometimes girls
who aren't well liked,
328
00:18:18,729 --> 00:18:21,064
you know, lash out
at pretty and popular girls.
329
00:18:21,065 --> 00:18:23,262
Are you well liked at your school?
330
00:18:23,910 --> 00:18:25,818
Not lately, no.
331
00:18:25,819 --> 00:18:28,353
But you're not being jelly.
332
00:18:28,355 --> 00:18:33,150
No, that has nothing to do with me wanting
to protest against Photoshop images.
333
00:18:33,151 --> 00:18:36,047
OK, because I do understand that
the Jelly School in Aurora
334
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:38,255
is ready to take you in,
is that right, Rick?
335
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,620
Tom, I'm standing in front
of the Jelly School
336
00:18:40,621 --> 00:18:43,684
where officials claim they do
have room for this little hater girl.
337
00:18:43,685 --> 00:18:45,595
We're being told, if she doesn't stop...
338
00:18:45,621 --> 00:18:48,744
That's not a Jelly School.
That's a Dunkin' Donuts.
339
00:18:50,265 --> 00:18:53,011
Well, okay, but you are a hater.
340
00:18:53,012 --> 00:18:57,531
That's fine! People can call me whatever
names they want to. I don't care!
341
00:18:57,532 --> 00:19:00,542
There's a cancer in our country
and I'm not going to rest
342
00:19:00,543 --> 00:19:04,718
until Photoshop images are required to
be labeled for what they are - fake.
343
00:19:04,719 --> 00:19:08,530
And nothing in his world
is going to stop me.
344
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,744
What do you want?
345
00:19:26,157 --> 00:19:30,850
Once upon a time there was a
little hobbit that lived in the forest.
346
00:19:30,851 --> 00:19:35,473
And all the hobbit ever
wanted was to be beautiful.
347
00:19:35,573 --> 00:19:38,971
And even though she was
short and fat and hairy,
348
00:19:38,972 --> 00:19:43,268
this little hobbit dreams that one day
she could be pretty like Beyonce.
349
00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:49,803
And then one day, along came
a magic powder called Photoshop.
350
00:19:50,139 --> 00:19:54,278
And just like that, poof!
The little hobbit was beautiful.
351
00:19:54,814 --> 00:19:59,792
And even though she still couldn't
sing like Beyonce or dance like Beyonce,
352
00:19:59,819 --> 00:20:04,064
or act like Beyonce or be
a decent human being like Beyonce,
353
00:20:04,343 --> 00:20:06,891
the little hobbit was looked up to
and loved...
354
00:20:06,916 --> 00:20:08,916
Just like Beyonce!
355
00:20:09,495 --> 00:20:12,126
Soon she had money and adoration,
356
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:15,821
and a hip-hop fiancé who loved her
very much. I'm sorry. Hold up.
357
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:18,779
Hold up, I'm sorry.
358
00:20:19,514 --> 00:20:21,492
Everything was good for the hobbit,
359
00:20:21,493 --> 00:20:24,550
but then this mean little girl
called the jelly monster.
360
00:20:24,781 --> 00:20:28,526
She was so jelly of the hobbit
that she told everyone she was a liar...
361
00:20:29,142 --> 00:20:33,194
And the hobbit's fiancé realized she was
just a hobbit and you know what he said?
362
00:20:33,196 --> 00:20:35,199
He said I don't care!
363
00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:36,753
And then the jelly monster came
364
00:20:36,779 --> 00:20:39,721
and tried to take the powder
away from the little hobbit.
365
00:20:40,010 --> 00:20:41,949
So the hobbit prayed to God...
366
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:44,253
And God said, "Don't worry, little hobbit."
367
00:20:44,278 --> 00:20:46,507
"I will go find this jelly monster girl"
368
00:20:46,508 --> 00:20:49,506
"and I will read her a story
and melt her icy heart."
369
00:20:50,088 --> 00:20:51,826
And the hobbit said, "Thank you",
370
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:55,717
and the hobbit and God lived happily
ever after because I love her so much.
371
00:20:57,138 --> 00:20:59,369
I'm sorry. Hold up. Hold up.
372
00:20:59,370 --> 00:21:01,982
- Hold up. I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
373
00:21:01,992 --> 00:21:05,817
- I'm sorry that I've been jelly.
- It's okay. Hold up.
374
00:21:05,818 --> 00:21:08,819
No, I've been a hater
and I really am sorry.
375
00:21:08,821 --> 00:21:11,595
It's okay. I've been jelly before too.
I'm sorry.
376
00:21:40,962 --> 00:21:43,149
___
377
00:21:50,595 --> 00:21:53,595
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