1
00:00:20,507 --> 00:00:21,874
Damn, man.
2
00:00:21,998 --> 00:00:23,641
You look tired. Your
eyes are puffy as hell.
3
00:00:23,660 --> 00:00:25,621
I'm unwell, Winston.
4
00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:28,995
I'm just torn up about this
whole Cece and Elizabeth thing.
5
00:00:29,010 --> 00:00:31,334
I feel so guilty, I can't even
look at myself in the mirror.
6
00:00:31,363 --> 00:00:33,083
Do you think that I'm good person?
7
00:00:33,109 --> 00:00:35,913
- I'm gonna... - Hey, guys, do you
guys think that I'm a good person?
8
00:00:35,935 --> 00:00:37,535
You're a terrible person.
It's hilarious.
9
00:00:37,554 --> 00:00:39,698
You cheated on my
best friend, Schmidt.
10
00:00:39,711 --> 00:00:42,324
F-Fair enough. Okay. Well,
I'm better than Winston.
11
00:00:42,352 --> 00:00:44,797
You're better at things than Winston,
but he's a better person.
12
00:00:44,816 --> 00:00:47,141
- Winston freakin' stinks!
- Okay, why am I being dragged into this?
13
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,078
Because I'm mad, Winston.
14
00:00:50,026 --> 00:00:52,271
And I'm tired. And...
15
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,944
I'm a good...
16
00:00:54,191 --> 00:00:57,293
- I'm a good man.
- Are you crying?
17
00:01:03,308 --> 00:01:07,174
- I got a package for Nick Miller.
- There's nobody here by that name.
18
00:01:07,825 --> 00:01:09,556
I got this.
19
00:01:10,364 --> 00:01:11,762
I saw that.
20
00:01:11,898 --> 00:01:13,790
- Run, Nick! Run!
- Aah!
21
00:01:13,813 --> 00:01:17,192
- What? - Relax, I'm with
your late father's estate.
22
00:01:17,226 --> 00:01:19,112
- Pop-pop?
- This is for him.
23
00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:24,029
What's in there?
24
00:01:24,175 --> 00:01:25,875
It's a hand, isn't it? Just
tell me if it's a hand.
25
00:01:25,895 --> 00:01:27,429
Oh, my God!
26
00:01:28,370 --> 00:01:30,029
- It is a hand.
- It's a... I knew it.
27
00:01:30,043 --> 00:01:32,044
It's a hand. What does
that mean, though?
28
00:01:32,153 --> 00:01:34,586
Full of dollar bills, y'all!
29
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,235
You are rich, man!
30
00:01:36,570 --> 00:01:39,332
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
31
00:01:39,363 --> 00:01:40,733
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
32
00:01:40,758 --> 00:01:42,658
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ It's Jess ♪
33
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:45,653
I can't believe Nick's
dad left him $8,000.
34
00:01:45,690 --> 00:01:48,158
I've never seen someone
burn through money so fast.
35
00:01:48,959 --> 00:01:51,597
I should say something. Some of
these shoes aren't even his size.
36
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:54,397
Look, Jess, you don't want to
talk to Nick about money, okay?
37
00:01:54,417 --> 00:01:56,862
It is a very touchy subject.
38
00:01:56,928 --> 00:01:58,890
I'm gonna check out this
fancy picture place.
39
00:01:58,909 --> 00:02:01,377
Seems like rich guys always
have pictures of themselves.
40
00:02:01,424 --> 00:02:04,048
My man. Do you, baby.
41
00:02:04,915 --> 00:02:06,259
I'm gonna be honest with you.
42
00:02:06,290 --> 00:02:10,025
Nick owes me 1,900 bucks, so this here
is my opportunity to get it back.
43
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,936
How are you expecting
to get your money back
44
00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:13,730
if he blows it all
on stupid stuff?
45
00:02:13,792 --> 00:02:15,641
Oh, don't worry, Jess.
I have a plan.
46
00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:19,403
Hey, listen, you know you don't have to
con him if he actually owes you money.
47
00:02:19,429 --> 00:02:20,636
You can just ask him.
48
00:02:24,752 --> 00:02:27,693
I just told you to ask
him for the money.
49
00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:29,885
Smile...
50
00:02:31,357 --> 00:02:33,332
Do the crystals make
it look too glamorous?
51
00:02:33,352 --> 00:02:34,690
It's really glamorous.
52
00:02:34,709 --> 00:02:36,498
I don't even know. I don't
know what's cool anymore.
53
00:02:36,521 --> 00:02:38,301
It could be a good time
to start a bank account.
54
00:02:38,327 --> 00:02:40,315
Yeah, or I could just
flush it down the toilet.
55
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:41,573
It's not really the same thing, but...
56
00:02:41,592 --> 00:02:44,972
A bank is just a paper bag
but with fancier walls.
57
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:48,079
That's all it is. I'm gonna keep
my money where my mouth is.
58
00:02:48,493 --> 00:02:50,624
Um, under my nose.
59
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,201
That saying actually does work.
60
00:02:58,390 --> 00:03:00,628
- What is that?
- This is my box.
61
00:03:00,776 --> 00:03:03,657
It's where I keep all my junk that
I don't feel like dealing with.
62
00:03:03,703 --> 00:03:06,595
That looks like a lot of bills.
It's... mostly bills.
63
00:03:06,619 --> 00:03:07,964
Yeah, like I said, it's junk.
64
00:03:07,976 --> 00:03:09,601
You know,
I'm just brainstorming here,
65
00:03:09,619 --> 00:03:12,279
but what if you paid some of those
bills with the money you just got?
66
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:15,161
Yeah. I'm gonna "pay my bill."
67
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:18,235
And what's next? I'm gonna go
to the doctor and get a checkup.
68
00:03:18,261 --> 00:03:20,617
Give them $500 to check my bones.
69
00:03:21,081 --> 00:03:22,681
You're being funny.
70
00:03:29,393 --> 00:03:32,001
So, yeah, I was dating both
of them at the same time.
71
00:03:32,088 --> 00:03:35,501
I'm a mess. I can't sleep.
I urinate constantly.
72
00:03:35,717 --> 00:03:38,409
I cried the other day
listening to a techno song.
73
00:03:38,444 --> 00:03:40,475
My tweets have been
extremely literal.
74
00:03:40,527 --> 00:03:42,000
Were the girls Jewish?
75
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,835
One Indian, one regular. Do
you want to see a picture?
76
00:03:43,855 --> 00:03:46,093
I-I don't even know
why you're here.
77
00:03:46,343 --> 00:03:48,087
You come in and say, "Do
you have a minute?"
78
00:03:48,101 --> 00:03:50,471
Okay, I'm-I'm sorry, Rabbi.
It's just that...
79
00:03:50,651 --> 00:03:52,440
Okay, it's much more simple.
80
00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:56,679
- How can I be a better person?
- Oh.
81
00:03:57,376 --> 00:03:59,832
Well, you seem awfully
concerned with yourself.
82
00:03:59,896 --> 00:04:02,321
You might want to start thinking
about the needs of others.
83
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:03,966
I think about others all the time.
84
00:04:04,092 --> 00:04:06,423
What-what I can get from them,
how they can give me pleasure,
85
00:04:06,436 --> 00:04:09,405
- do they have a silly little walk that
I can make fun of? - No, th-that's...
86
00:04:09,425 --> 00:04:13,531
It's where you actually
care about somebody else.
87
00:04:13,656 --> 00:04:16,038
You put their needs
ahead of your own.
88
00:04:16,054 --> 00:04:18,073
This is one of the few times
that I wish I was Catholic.
89
00:04:18,095 --> 00:04:20,751
Couple Hail Marys and
I'd be off the hook.
90
00:04:21,125 --> 00:04:22,114
Huh?
91
00:04:30,163 --> 00:04:31,718
Oh, God. Whoa.
92
00:04:31,743 --> 00:04:34,149
Are you choking?
You're choking. Okay.
93
00:04:34,312 --> 00:04:37,131
Uh... What, are you
biking and eating?
94
00:04:37,238 --> 00:04:38,844
All right, I got you, I got you.
95
00:04:38,865 --> 00:04:40,978
Come on! Live! Live!
96
00:04:40,996 --> 00:04:42,179
Live, biker!
97
00:04:42,203 --> 00:04:44,004
- Ew. Yeah!
- Thank you.
98
00:04:44,032 --> 00:04:45,701
You saved my life.
99
00:04:45,990 --> 00:04:48,614
- What?
- You saved my life.
100
00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,264
You saved my life.
101
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:56,600
- I did. Yes. Yes.
- Thank you... Thank you...
102
00:04:57,449 --> 00:04:59,590
Yes! Dude!
103
00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:02,512
This is exactly what I needed.
Oh, my God.
104
00:05:02,583 --> 00:05:04,483
Let us rejoice in song.
105
00:05:04,543 --> 00:05:07,178
♪ Sh'ma Yis'ra'eil ♪
106
00:05:07,246 --> 00:05:08,910
♪ Adonai Eloheinu ♪
107
00:05:08,930 --> 00:05:11,994
- Please call 911. I'm hurt.
- Oh, yeah, no, that's a great idea.
108
00:05:12,032 --> 00:05:13,626
I'm gonna call 911.
109
00:05:13,733 --> 00:05:15,502
I hope you don't have a
dance recital later.
110
00:05:15,536 --> 00:05:17,242
I'm just kidding. Don't
look at your legs.
111
00:05:18,677 --> 00:05:21,879
That's, uh, $900 to the
Parking Authority of Los Angeles.
112
00:05:22,301 --> 00:05:24,780
Oh, is it okay to mail cash?
113
00:05:25,937 --> 00:05:28,872
I'm gonna do it anyway.
All right, it's on its way.
114
00:05:35,128 --> 00:05:36,929
- Sliders are beautiful.
- I know, man.
115
00:05:37,094 --> 00:05:39,291
- I knew you would think that.
- I love 'em, dude.
116
00:05:39,318 --> 00:05:40,931
That's why I made 'em.
117
00:05:42,954 --> 00:05:44,154
What is that?
118
00:05:44,201 --> 00:05:45,432
Brotherhood.
119
00:05:45,539 --> 00:05:46,763
Brotherhood, man.
120
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,735
All right, man. I respect
you, man, no matter what.
121
00:05:48,763 --> 00:05:52,012
That's what it's about, man.
Yeah, and, um...
122
00:05:52,073 --> 00:05:53,974
in the spirit of brotherhood...
123
00:05:53,993 --> 00:05:55,299
just 'cause we on that
level right now...
124
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,914
- I was just thinking maybe, I don't
know, um... - Anything, man. Shoot.
125
00:05:59,076 --> 00:06:00,214
Oh, man.
126
00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:02,990
Maybe you can just pay me back
that money that you owe me.
127
00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:05,165
Remember? 'Cause you
owe me that money...?
128
00:06:06,463 --> 00:06:08,657
- Uh, Nick? Nick?
- Oh...
129
00:06:08,677 --> 00:06:12,815
- Nick? Nick? Hey, Nick.
- Oh, you stink!
130
00:06:13,410 --> 00:06:15,812
- Um, can we...?
- You son of...
131
00:06:15,846 --> 00:06:18,384
- You son of a bitch, Winston!
- Can we... can we...
132
00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:19,617
That's what this is about?!
133
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:22,568
Nick, it's my money, okay?!
Give it back to me!
134
00:06:22,579 --> 00:06:26,529
I make a little bit of money and you
come slipping out of the "woodword"!
135
00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:29,023
- You mean "woodwork"?
- What is "woodwork"?!
136
00:06:29,059 --> 00:06:31,590
- What's "woodword"?!
- Wood! Word! Wood! Word!
137
00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:33,975
That's where people like
you come crawling out of
138
00:06:33,998 --> 00:06:36,298
- when people like me have money!
- But you owe me that money!
139
00:06:36,317 --> 00:06:40,001
- Stay out of my damn box is the
point, man! - I'm not in your box!
140
00:06:40,396 --> 00:06:42,409
- Jess gets it, right?
- Yeah, what's...
141
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:45,109
- What the hell, dude? - I'm gonna go
to the bar to blow off some steam.
142
00:06:45,130 --> 00:06:48,557
That's a great idea. Go get loaded.
You deserve it. Black out.
143
00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:51,039
You are the only one
that I trust around here.
144
00:07:09,457 --> 00:07:11,474
Oh...
145
00:07:13,857 --> 00:07:15,721
You went through Nick's box.
146
00:07:19,017 --> 00:07:21,326
Look, it was so much
worse than I thought.
147
00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:24,739
Why does he have the deed to an
old Mercury Cougar in there?
148
00:07:24,764 --> 00:07:25,827
Oh, yeah, he lost that.
149
00:07:25,895 --> 00:07:28,096
For crying out loud, where is it?
We've been looking for hours.
150
00:07:28,113 --> 00:07:30,478
- It's done.
- What about your car, Nick?
151
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:32,891
I said it's done.
152
00:07:33,198 --> 00:07:34,842
I'll just get the money back.
153
00:07:34,868 --> 00:07:36,593
Bill collectors are
reasonable people, right?
154
00:07:36,621 --> 00:07:39,252
- That makes sense.
- You better keep your mouth shut, Winston!
155
00:07:39,270 --> 00:07:41,934
I'll make you a deal.
I'll keep my mouth shut
156
00:07:41,954 --> 00:07:43,967
if you pay me the
money Nick owes me.
157
00:07:44,068 --> 00:07:47,606
Are you trying to blackmail me?
158
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,704
You don't scare me, Jess.
159
00:07:58,381 --> 00:08:00,221
How much does Nick owe you?
160
00:08:00,495 --> 00:08:02,334
$1,900.
161
00:08:03,165 --> 00:08:05,633
But what is money anyway?
162
00:08:06,058 --> 00:08:11,289
You know, it's just paper that some king
on the mountains said was worth something.
163
00:08:11,496 --> 00:08:13,826
You know? Gold, I understand.
164
00:08:13,838 --> 00:08:17,575
It's shiny and you can
make jewelry out of it.
165
00:08:17,909 --> 00:08:19,452
Silver?
166
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,669
Put a werewolf in front
of me, he's dead.
167
00:08:23,338 --> 00:08:28,785
Brass creates the bells that
make sound throughout the land.
168
00:08:29,172 --> 00:08:32,148
But we kill each other for paper.
169
00:08:32,530 --> 00:08:34,663
I gotta tell you,
man, that's sad.
170
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:38,454
You give me $50, I'll show
you my private parts.
171
00:08:43,175 --> 00:08:44,825
Nicholas, good yontef.
172
00:08:44,846 --> 00:08:47,346
- Are you well?
- No, but good yontef.
173
00:08:47,390 --> 00:08:48,787
You know, I'm all steamed up.
174
00:08:48,815 --> 00:08:50,807
This money thing is tearing
me apart, Schmidt.
175
00:08:50,824 --> 00:08:53,027
All right, if it's bothering you that
much, why don't you just give it away?
176
00:08:53,051 --> 00:08:56,639
- Son of a bitch!
- Not, not to me, Nick, to charity,
177
00:08:56,667 --> 00:08:58,257
or tzedakah as my people call it.
178
00:08:58,278 --> 00:08:59,654
- That's what your people do?
- Yeah.
179
00:08:59,688 --> 00:09:02,461
You beautiful genius.
180
00:09:02,537 --> 00:09:04,651
I like that. That frees
me of my worries.
181
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:07,625
- Oh, look at that! Another mitzvah!
I'm two for two today. - Yeah! Mitzvah!
182
00:09:07,789 --> 00:09:09,457
- I saved a man.
- Oh my God.
183
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:12,755
You know, there was a lowly bike messenger.
Was just riding along, choking on his gum.
184
00:09:12,780 --> 00:09:15,204
And I performed Heimlich's
maneuver on him, rescued him.
185
00:09:15,231 --> 00:09:17,081
- Great.
- Yeah, who's the good man now?
186
00:09:17,108 --> 00:09:18,946
You're almost
forced to admit it.
187
00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:23,015
Almost... You're almost
forced to admit it.
188
00:09:23,144 --> 00:09:25,019
- Yeah, I know.
- I'm a hero, Nick, now...
189
00:09:25,043 --> 00:09:27,524
Just tell me that I'm a good man.
I really need to hear it.
190
00:09:27,571 --> 00:09:30,257
I don't even know if I'm a good person.
I'm not the guy to ask.
191
00:09:30,290 --> 00:09:32,149
- I have my moods.
- But we're not talking about you.
192
00:09:32,169 --> 00:09:34,019
We're talking about me right
now and how I'm a good person,
193
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,428
so it'd be really nice
if you could say that.
194
00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:37,079
- I'm ready to do a tzatziki.
- Tzedakah.
195
00:09:37,103 --> 00:09:38,449
This is not about
tzedakah right now.
196
00:09:38,475 --> 00:09:40,281
This is about me being a good
man and you telling me that.
197
00:09:40,295 --> 00:09:42,048
- Absolutely.
- So, well, say it.
198
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,242
- You got it.
- S-Say that I'm a good man.
199
00:09:44,262 --> 00:09:46,143
I'm giving away my money.
I've been trying to listen
200
00:09:46,167 --> 00:09:49,461
- to you this whole time!
- Damn it, Nick, you are so drunk right now
201
00:09:49,493 --> 00:09:51,307
- and at the bar you work at, no less.
- Yeah.
202
00:09:51,322 --> 00:09:53,466
What happens with the rest of your day?
Do you even think about that?
203
00:09:53,479 --> 00:09:56,007
You don't understand
drinking at all.
204
00:09:58,422 --> 00:09:59,856
Don't go.
205
00:10:01,198 --> 00:10:02,634
Heathcliff.
206
00:10:02,653 --> 00:10:06,108
Hi, I'd like to unpay
some parking tickets.
207
00:10:06,126 --> 00:10:09,778
- Excuse me? - Well, I sent in a
payment earlier for some tickets
208
00:10:09,793 --> 00:10:12,018
and I decided I don't
want to pay them.
209
00:10:12,049 --> 00:10:13,143
Well, just cancel the checks.
210
00:10:13,161 --> 00:10:17,406
Can't do that 'cause I paid cash 'cause
my boyfriend doesn't believe in banks.
211
00:10:17,429 --> 00:10:18,817
It's early in the relationship.
212
00:10:18,837 --> 00:10:21,538
Still shaving above the knee
if you know what I mean.
213
00:10:21,563 --> 00:10:22,482
Mm-hmm.
214
00:10:22,494 --> 00:10:25,138
Let me get this straight...
You want me to watch the mail
215
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,468
and let you know if I see
anything from your boyfriend.
216
00:10:27,485 --> 00:10:30,185
- Exactly.
- Fantastic. Should I call you or...?
217
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,858
- Text, text would be great.
- Perfect.
218
00:10:31,875 --> 00:10:34,503
Let me put your
number into my phone.
219
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:38,449
- I didn't give you my number yet.
- Oh, I think you did.
220
00:10:39,766 --> 00:10:42,527
It's your lucky day, old friend. I had
an interesting talk with Schmidt,
221
00:10:42,543 --> 00:10:45,652
and I've decided to give away my
fortune. So, what do I owe you?
222
00:10:45,684 --> 00:10:48,419
- How much money d...? Uh...
- Hey, guys, what's going on?
223
00:10:48,429 --> 00:10:51,185
- Hey, Jess, um...
- It's tzatziki is what it's called.
224
00:10:51,209 --> 00:10:53,372
It's a Jewish charity.
225
00:10:55,751 --> 00:10:59,184
Nick was just about to pay me
the money that he owes me.
226
00:11:00,312 --> 00:11:01,913
Wait!
227
00:11:08,690 --> 00:11:12,742
- Come on, what are you doing?
- I'm, uh, I'm lubing up, Sally...
228
00:11:12,875 --> 00:11:14,042
From ankles to ears?
229
00:11:14,082 --> 00:11:16,182
The door's locked... You
want me to bust in?
230
00:11:16,773 --> 00:11:18,379
Son of a...
231
00:11:19,636 --> 00:11:22,135
It opened! Where are you?
232
00:11:22,773 --> 00:11:26,542
Um, I just was hot,
I wanted some shade.
233
00:11:26,707 --> 00:11:28,431
Oh, done that.
234
00:11:31,041 --> 00:11:32,139
He take my money?
235
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,675
- Winston!
- It was me, it was me, it was me.
236
00:11:34,698 --> 00:11:36,934
I'm so sorry, I went
through your box...
237
00:11:36,951 --> 00:11:41,069
I just couldn't help it... and I paid
some of your bills, and I'm so sorry I...
238
00:11:42,556 --> 00:11:44,292
Hey, Nick...
239
00:11:44,567 --> 00:11:48,754
You gonna leave me here?
Nick... That's fair.
240
00:11:52,955 --> 00:11:55,046
There he is, alive and well.
241
00:11:55,063 --> 00:11:56,518
- Yeah.
- Mazel.
242
00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:58,150
I br-brought you these.
243
00:11:59,242 --> 00:12:02,206
- How's my brave little soldier doing, huh?
- Not great.
244
00:12:02,650 --> 00:12:05,795
They said that I'm never gonna
be able to ride a bike again,
245
00:12:05,815 --> 00:12:08,159
- so there goes my job.
- Sure, sure.
246
00:12:08,178 --> 00:12:10,009
Do you think that I'm a good person?
247
00:12:10,603 --> 00:12:12,934
I... I don't really know you.
248
00:12:12,974 --> 00:12:14,474
Well, what more do
you need to know?
249
00:12:14,505 --> 00:12:16,650
If not for me, you probably
would have died today.
250
00:12:16,674 --> 00:12:18,356
Well, somebody probably
would have come along.
251
00:12:18,383 --> 00:12:20,188
Just say that I'm a good person.
252
00:12:20,403 --> 00:12:22,097
- Well, I mean...
- Why is that so hard for you to say?
253
00:12:22,111 --> 00:12:23,475
- Ow!
- I'm sorry. I am so sorry.
254
00:12:23,498 --> 00:12:26,786
- You're, you're a good person.
- I am? You really think so?
255
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,864
- Very good.
- Thank you for saying that.
256
00:12:28,889 --> 00:12:29,996
- Yeah.
- That really means...
257
00:12:30,022 --> 00:12:31,824
It means a lot.
258
00:12:31,929 --> 00:12:33,804
I finally feel like I
can breathe again.
259
00:12:33,841 --> 00:12:35,508
Good.
260
00:12:36,136 --> 00:12:37,273
What happ...
What happened to him?
261
00:12:37,305 --> 00:12:41,587
Well, he got smoked by a bus while he
was having a bake sale for cancer kids.
262
00:12:41,621 --> 00:12:43,522
For, for canc... for cancer kids?
263
00:12:43,544 --> 00:12:45,707
- Yeah.
- But he-he's, he's a great person.
264
00:12:45,735 --> 00:12:48,679
Bad things happen to good
people all the time.
265
00:12:49,763 --> 00:12:51,458
Of course they do.
266
00:12:51,741 --> 00:12:53,904
What am I even chasing here?
267
00:12:53,946 --> 00:12:55,727
What is the point of
being a good person?
268
00:12:55,743 --> 00:12:59,084
Some say moral integrity is
the cornerstone to humanity.
269
00:12:59,102 --> 00:13:01,865
What do you know, you idiot? You
choked on a piece of gum today.
270
00:13:01,873 --> 00:13:05,685
- Hey, man, don't shoot the bike messenger.
- That is a terrible joke!
271
00:13:06,684 --> 00:13:08,847
And none of this
makes any sense!
272
00:13:21,196 --> 00:13:22,603
Hey, Nick.
273
00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:26,593
Look, I know you're really angry
and you have a right to be.
274
00:13:26,623 --> 00:13:28,503
I have the right to be?
275
00:13:28,568 --> 00:13:30,980
I mean, why do you feel
like you need to fix me?
276
00:13:31,021 --> 00:13:32,577
It's like you think
you know better.
277
00:13:32,602 --> 00:13:35,496
Well, I m... I might
know better than you.
278
00:13:35,885 --> 00:13:38,080
Did you start a corporation?
279
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:42,253
- Was it Fat Face?
- I think so.
280
00:13:42,533 --> 00:13:44,578
- Yeah.
- Well, you're getting taxed like crazy.
281
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,323
Well, that's because I thought
I was filing a patent.
282
00:13:46,348 --> 00:13:47,873
Fat Face is an invention?
283
00:13:47,886 --> 00:13:50,267
Kind of... in its intention
It was suppo... it...
284
00:13:51,246 --> 00:13:54,612
- Are you a lifeguard?
- No, that is a false certificate.
285
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:57,033
- Just a classic beach prank.
- That seems dangerous.
286
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,691
It's funny, 'cause I...
I can't swim.
287
00:13:59,791 --> 00:14:02,091
Everyone was watching me, and
I'm like, "I don't know..."
288
00:14:02,274 --> 00:14:03,887
I was 13!
289
00:14:04,256 --> 00:14:05,330
I was 26.
290
00:14:05,373 --> 00:14:07,387
This is the problem with the box.
It's my private stuff.
291
00:14:07,405 --> 00:14:10,310
You've never once done
jury duty or paid your taxes.
292
00:14:10,346 --> 00:14:13,012
Not until gay marriage
is legal everywhere.
293
00:14:13,796 --> 00:14:15,529
I stand by that.
294
00:14:15,789 --> 00:14:17,994
And I don't want to do
jury duty or pay taxes.
295
00:14:18,021 --> 00:14:20,891
Nick, you're in so
much debt, it's crazy.
296
00:14:20,912 --> 00:14:24,607
- You have to deal with this stuff.
- No, I don't, Jess, it's in my box.
297
00:14:24,626 --> 00:14:28,678
- That's not true, though.
- It's not a perfect system, Jess,
298
00:14:28,789 --> 00:14:30,989
but it's mine, okay?
And it's private.
299
00:14:31,012 --> 00:14:32,923
Well, I'm sorry I went
through your damn box,
300
00:14:32,945 --> 00:14:35,581
- but I was just trying to help you, Nick.
- So maybe I'll try to help you.
301
00:14:35,615 --> 00:14:37,692
What if I went into your box?
302
00:14:38,131 --> 00:14:39,350
- Not that.
- Stop it!
303
00:14:39,368 --> 00:14:41,781
I like that box, but
I'm mad at you...!
304
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,028
I'm back to "You
disrespected me."
305
00:14:45,043 --> 00:14:46,987
- I was just trying to help.
- Well, then, how about this...
306
00:14:47,014 --> 00:14:48,947
Two can help. Okay?
307
00:14:49,126 --> 00:14:51,460
And if two are going to help,
then I'll be one of them
308
00:14:51,493 --> 00:14:54,174
'cause two can tango
on this dance, okay?
309
00:14:54,199 --> 00:14:57,037
So, you want to waltz? Well, you
picked the wrong dance partner.
310
00:14:57,060 --> 00:14:59,669
- Two can play.
- What? It's not a...
311
00:14:59,695 --> 00:15:02,651
Who needs changing,
huh, who needs fixing?
312
00:15:03,019 --> 00:15:08,134
I'm gonna go through your personal
drawers and see what needs changing.
313
00:15:10,512 --> 00:15:13,000
- What are you, a zoo elephant?
- Those are my night peanuts.
314
00:15:13,022 --> 00:15:15,378
There shouldn't be day
peanuts and night peanuts!
315
00:15:15,428 --> 00:15:17,912
- They're just peanuts!
- I'm sorry, why is that weird?
316
00:15:17,933 --> 00:15:20,855
You just have a bunch of boxes?
I would change that.
317
00:15:20,882 --> 00:15:24,038
- Oh, you have a bunch of metal toothpicks.
- They're bobby pins.
318
00:15:24,069 --> 00:15:26,085
- What's a bobby pin?
- It keeps your hair back.
319
00:15:26,108 --> 00:15:27,951
You need Bobby's pins
to put your hair up?
320
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:30,795
It's bobby pins,
not Bobby's pins.
321
00:15:30,821 --> 00:15:32,560
- What is this?!
- Yarn.
322
00:15:32,580 --> 00:15:34,481
What are you knitting,
a mansion?!
323
00:15:34,529 --> 00:15:36,754
Oh, look at this.
What do we have here?
324
00:15:36,896 --> 00:15:38,577
A bunch of beat-up old sacks.
325
00:15:38,591 --> 00:15:40,624
- My vintage purses.
- Well, you know what?
326
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:43,901
- They could be sexier.
- You want my purses to be sexier?
327
00:15:43,925 --> 00:15:47,432
Would it kill you to get something
sleek, covered in gems for once?
328
00:15:47,462 --> 00:15:50,492
You want my purses to be
covered in gemstones?
329
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,717
All guys do! That's
what we think is sexy!
330
00:15:52,729 --> 00:15:54,887
We want to be playing a
saxophone in an alley
331
00:15:54,909 --> 00:15:58,428
and have you walk by in a
miniskirt with a purse with gems.
332
00:15:58,528 --> 00:16:00,722
- But you girls don't listen!
- What?!
333
00:16:00,953 --> 00:16:03,045
- Changing!
- No! Nick, no!
334
00:16:03,060 --> 00:16:05,386
- This all is changing.
- No, no, stop! That's disrespectful!
335
00:16:05,412 --> 00:16:06,925
- Gone!
- Nick, stop it!
336
00:16:06,950 --> 00:16:09,545
No! This is the grossest thing
I've ever seen in my life!
337
00:16:09,576 --> 00:16:11,633
- I got that for a nickel.
- It's disgusting.
338
00:16:11,647 --> 00:16:13,291
You're just trying to
get a rise out of me.
339
00:16:13,324 --> 00:16:15,019
Oh, my God!
340
00:16:15,044 --> 00:16:16,918
I've gotten a lot of
compliments on that one.
341
00:16:16,945 --> 00:16:18,039
- Gone!
- Nick!
342
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:19,027
What?
343
00:16:19,051 --> 00:16:22,085
Stop it! Look, I like you
the way you are.
344
00:16:22,118 --> 00:16:23,843
I'm just asking you to grow a little.
345
00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:27,477
Are we ever gonna get to a point
where you stop working on me?
346
00:16:28,393 --> 00:16:31,288
Instead of changing me,
347
00:16:31,353 --> 00:16:34,506
maybe once, Jess, see it my way.
348
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:37,451
Well, your way's
crazy and illegal.
349
00:16:37,458 --> 00:16:39,980
This is me, take it or leave it.
350
00:16:40,122 --> 00:16:42,465
I'm not changing for anyone.
351
00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:47,724
Hey, where are you going?
352
00:16:48,115 --> 00:16:51,305
If you have something to say, just say it.
Don't write me a note or...
353
00:16:54,702 --> 00:16:56,712
That's the money I spent.
354
00:16:57,681 --> 00:16:59,177
Do what you want with it.
355
00:16:59,249 --> 00:17:00,924
Thank you.
356
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,565
Couple of best friend horses.
That's neat.
357
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,985
What else can you get on...?
358
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,041
It doesn't make any sense.
359
00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:21,779
Can you not see I'm in the middle
of a bar mitzvah class here?
360
00:17:21,803 --> 00:17:23,453
Yeah, well, they
should hear this.
361
00:17:23,472 --> 00:17:26,344
A man helping cancer kids
got creamed by a bus today.
362
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:28,225
Everything happens for a reason.
363
00:17:28,250 --> 00:17:30,431
But what if it doesn't
happen for a reason?
364
00:17:30,715 --> 00:17:32,855
Maybe... Maybe there aren't
any good guys and bad guys.
365
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,010
Maybe there are just
winners and losers.
366
00:17:35,036 --> 00:17:37,699
I was beating myself up, but
maybe I should...
367
00:17:37,830 --> 00:17:39,543
Maybe I should have been celebrating.
368
00:17:39,598 --> 00:17:42,332
- Have you ever dated two women at once?
- What are you talking about?
369
00:17:42,337 --> 00:17:44,343
I went to camp... They used
to call me the Octopus.
370
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,308
- Clearly, you have not, sir.
- That's enough.
371
00:17:46,328 --> 00:17:48,103
You get out of here right now!
372
00:17:48,181 --> 00:17:50,008
- Out.
- Don't you "out" me.
373
00:17:50,041 --> 00:17:51,561
- Get out, get...
- Getting a little handsy there, Rabbi.
374
00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:52,786
- Get out!
- You know what I realize?
375
00:17:52,819 --> 00:17:54,628
Nothing matters, and that's great.
You know why?
376
00:17:54,658 --> 00:17:57,347
Because if nothing matters, we
can do whatever we want, Rabbi.
377
00:17:57,797 --> 00:17:59,685
Avram! Julio!
378
00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:01,318
Get away from me, man.
379
00:18:01,335 --> 00:18:02,854
Kick his ass!
380
00:18:03,774 --> 00:18:06,869
All right, okay. YOLO! YOLO!
381
00:18:06,917 --> 00:18:08,448
Nick's right.
382
00:18:08,561 --> 00:18:11,988
- I have too many purses.
- You're addicted to purses.
383
00:18:12,231 --> 00:18:14,994
I'm addicted to development fluid.
I get it.
384
00:18:15,272 --> 00:18:18,329
This one's for meat, and
this one's for shells.
385
00:18:18,394 --> 00:18:19,494
You know what?
386
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,696
- Keep them. They're yours.
- Okay, thanks.
387
00:18:22,721 --> 00:18:25,021
Also, heads up... The ass
of your pants is missing.
388
00:18:25,126 --> 00:18:26,557
It's for the kitty cats.
389
00:18:28,715 --> 00:18:30,421
- My phone's ringing.
- Sure.
390
00:18:30,811 --> 00:18:31,686
Hello?
391
00:18:31,722 --> 00:18:34,223
I'm like a pretty lady.
392
00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:36,257
What's happening?
393
00:18:36,922 --> 00:18:38,293
I'm sorry to bother
you, Miss Day,
394
00:18:38,315 --> 00:18:40,250
but this man was trying
to open an account
395
00:18:40,265 --> 00:18:42,883
with a check in your name
and a paper bag full of money.
396
00:18:42,897 --> 00:18:45,524
Would you please stop hovering?
I'm being cooperative.
397
00:18:45,551 --> 00:18:46,875
It's fine. He's okay.
398
00:18:46,913 --> 00:18:48,568
Thank you, though.
399
00:18:51,902 --> 00:18:53,523
Opening a bank account, huh?
400
00:18:53,571 --> 00:18:55,080
Yeah, I, uh...
401
00:18:55,112 --> 00:18:57,720
- I realized something.
- What?
402
00:18:58,799 --> 00:19:00,911
I'd do anything for you, Jess.
403
00:19:01,756 --> 00:19:03,425
Hey.
404
00:19:06,258 --> 00:19:07,833
Thank you.
405
00:19:08,384 --> 00:19:12,120
All right, Mr. Miller, your
checking account is good to go.
406
00:19:12,604 --> 00:19:14,554
Oh, there's just an eight
dollar processing fee.
407
00:19:14,579 --> 00:19:18,317
Eight dollars? That's a
very specific amount.
408
00:19:22,785 --> 00:19:25,031
That's fine... It's your
world, your rules, so...
409
00:19:25,094 --> 00:19:25,850
Excellent.
410
00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:28,209
You go to the castle,
you got to pay the king.
411
00:19:31,912 --> 00:19:34,095
What is processing?
What does that mean?
412
00:19:34,112 --> 00:19:37,845
It's just a word you use to
make more money off of us.
413
00:19:37,940 --> 00:19:39,907
- That makes me mad!
- Me, too, yeah.
414
00:19:39,932 --> 00:19:41,963
Hey, how about this?
What's a bank?
415
00:19:42,007 --> 00:19:43,562
- Yeah.
- It's just a paper bag...
416
00:19:43,568 --> 00:19:44,762
- That's right. Yes!
- ...with walls.
417
00:19:44,788 --> 00:19:47,532
You're making some really, really,
really good points, ma'am.
418
00:19:47,567 --> 00:19:50,567
You are the puppeteers
that puppet the world.
419
00:19:50,588 --> 00:19:51,755
No more banks!
420
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:54,509
Or some banks... I don't care!
But I want my money on a boat!
421
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:58,995
I understood at least 30% of the financial
crisis, and guess what I got from that?
422
00:19:59,070 --> 00:20:01,025
- You... suck!
- Yeah.
423
00:20:01,053 --> 00:20:03,975
You suck so hard.
424
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:08,410
And now, I'm gonna process this man's
face, 'cause I think he's great.
425
00:20:08,603 --> 00:20:11,016
And I'm crazy about him.
426
00:20:12,769 --> 00:20:14,546
Fine, I'll waive the fee.
427
00:20:14,576 --> 00:20:16,210
Yeah!
428
00:20:16,276 --> 00:20:18,086
We won eight dollars!
429
00:20:18,112 --> 00:20:19,828
Just wait till you
have children.
430
00:20:20,443 --> 00:20:22,762
You'll never touch
each other again.
431
00:20:23,068 --> 00:20:25,431
Banks suck! Banks suck!
432
00:20:29,118 --> 00:20:30,574
What the hell happened to you?
433
00:20:30,610 --> 00:20:32,912
Got beat up by some rabbis.
434
00:20:32,984 --> 00:20:35,515
Well, Winston, we're all alone.
435
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:36,827
Nothing matters.
436
00:20:36,859 --> 00:20:39,202
But you know what? Look
Schmidt, stop, all right?
437
00:20:39,498 --> 00:20:40,867
You're a good man.
438
00:20:40,890 --> 00:20:43,240
You did a bad thing...
doesn't make you bad.
439
00:20:43,262 --> 00:20:47,075
We just have to try to
be better, you know?
440
00:20:48,356 --> 00:20:51,075
Been waiting all day for
somebody to tell me that. I...
441
00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:54,262
- I really appreciate it. Thank you.
- I want you to have something.
442
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,156
Winston, literally, a gift
is the last thing I des...
443
00:20:59,632 --> 00:21:01,700
- This is...
- There you go.
444
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,754
This is a candelabra.
445
00:21:03,826 --> 00:21:04,996
Yeah.
446
00:21:05,095 --> 00:21:06,751
I bought it with the
money that Nick owed me.
447
00:21:06,783 --> 00:21:08,852
- This is what you spent it on?
- And now it's yours.
448
00:21:08,889 --> 00:21:13,531
- Uh-huh. - May it illuminate
your path and lead you...
449
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,394
out of the darkness.
450
00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:17,547
That's what it says
on the bottom.
451
00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:19,933
May it illuminate your path,
lead you out of darkness.
452
00:21:19,963 --> 00:21:22,505
Uh, uh, thank you for this...
really.
453
00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:25,676
Look at it every single
day and tell yourself...
454
00:21:26,008 --> 00:21:28,241
"I'm a good person,"
'cause you are.
455
00:21:28,265 --> 00:21:29,532
You know what I might do, though?
456
00:21:29,559 --> 00:21:31,497
And it might seem like
the opposite, but...
457
00:21:31,510 --> 00:21:34,208
what I'm actually thinking is, maybe I'll
just put it away somewhere, like in...
458
00:21:34,230 --> 00:21:37,180
I don't know... in the back of my closet...
so to keep it away from thieves.
459
00:21:37,201 --> 00:21:38,645
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
460
00:21:38,676 --> 00:21:40,240
- Can you be honest with me real quick?
- Mm-hmm.
461
00:21:40,254 --> 00:21:42,992
How many times did you rub this thing
and think a genie was gonna come out?
462
00:21:43,138 --> 00:21:45,819
I ain't gonna lie to you man.
I rubbed it, like, three times. - Yeah.
463
00:21:46,048 --> 00:21:47,799
- I thought so.
- You know, I'm not...
464
00:21:47,817 --> 00:21:50,337
If a genie did come out,
what would you wish for?
465
00:21:50,971 --> 00:21:53,523
- More candelabras.
- Yeah, I bet.
466
00:21:53,675 --> 00:22:00,675
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther