1
00:00:02,256 --> 00:00:04,823
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:21,476 --> 00:00:23,678
Monday.
3
00:00:23,745 --> 00:00:25,515
Here we go again.
4
00:00:30,647 --> 00:00:34,647
♪ The Simpsons 23x19 ♪
A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again
Original Air Date on April 29, 2012
5
00:00:34,672 --> 00:00:38,672
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
6
00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:47,937
♪ And I was a boy from school ♪
7
00:00:48,005 --> 00:00:54,109
♪ Helplessly helping
all the rules ♪
8
00:00:56,946 --> 00:01:03,287
♪ And there was a boy
at school ♪
9
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:09,460
♪ Hopelessly wrestling
all his rules. ♪
10
00:01:18,406 --> 00:01:20,741
Sorry, kid, but
there comes a day when
11
00:01:20,808 --> 00:01:22,743
that just doesn't
do anything anymore.
12
00:01:26,148 --> 00:01:27,949
Stuck in a rut?
Hmm...
13
00:01:28,017 --> 00:01:29,685
Ready for a change?
14
00:01:37,494 --> 00:01:40,896
We built heaven
and made it float.
15
00:01:40,963 --> 00:01:45,267
Royalty Cruises, one week away
from the everyday.
16
00:01:45,334 --> 00:01:47,135
Visuals and commercial,
if anything, underplay
17
00:01:47,203 --> 00:01:48,770
the thrill of actual
cruise experience.
18
00:01:48,838 --> 00:01:50,071
Want, want, want,
want, want,
19
00:01:50,139 --> 00:01:52,040
want, want, want, want!
20
00:01:52,107 --> 00:01:54,776
Want!!
21
00:01:54,843 --> 00:01:56,945
Mom, Dad...
22
00:01:57,013 --> 00:01:59,114
do you know there's a boat out
there where nothing sucks?
23
00:01:59,182 --> 00:02:00,750
It's called Royalty Cruises,
24
00:02:00,817 --> 00:02:02,552
and Royalty Cruise specialists
are standing by now!
25
00:02:02,619 --> 00:02:05,188
I'm sorry, sweetie.
26
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,924
Maybe we could afford
a vacation if some big shot
27
00:02:07,991 --> 00:02:10,926
didn't pick up the tab
for his buddies at Mr. Steak.
28
00:02:10,994 --> 00:02:15,965
Again with Mr. Steak! Do you
know why I go to Mr. Steak?
29
00:02:16,032 --> 00:02:19,601
Because at Mr. Steak,
they don't get mad at me
30
00:02:19,669 --> 00:02:22,405
for ending a lot of money
at Mr. Steak!
31
00:02:22,472 --> 00:02:24,073
Well, of course they don't!
32
00:02:24,141 --> 00:02:25,841
Why don't you talk
to Mrs. Steak?
33
00:02:25,909 --> 00:02:27,593
There is no Mrs. Steak!
34
00:02:27,661 --> 00:02:29,428
Who could stay
married to such a man?
35
00:02:29,496 --> 00:02:31,730
Okay, maybe I can
pay for the cruise.
36
00:02:31,798 --> 00:02:34,199
Let's see how much it costs
for a cabin on a low deck.
37
00:02:36,503 --> 00:02:40,272
No porthole...
group Z lifeboat access...
38
00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:43,108
Aw, it's still
a ton of money.
39
00:02:43,176 --> 00:02:44,843
Face it, we're just kids.
40
00:02:44,911 --> 00:02:47,379
We can't afford stuff
with zeroes in the prices.
41
00:02:47,447 --> 00:02:50,783
All we have in the world are
the things our parents give us.
44
00:02:56,690 --> 00:02:58,390
I need you to dare me
to fight him!
45
00:02:58,458 --> 00:02:59,958
Huh?!
46
00:03:00,026 --> 00:03:03,462
Bart's been raptured! And his
crap's been craptured!
47
00:03:08,518 --> 00:03:10,319
Ah...
48
00:03:14,591 --> 00:03:18,043
Why do you want
a box of Bart's baby teeth?
49
00:03:18,111 --> 00:03:21,780
Doctor says I need more calcium,
and I ain't "Tums Rich."
50
00:03:25,869 --> 00:03:28,437
I sold all my stuff,
51
00:03:28,505 --> 00:03:30,539
and it's still not enough money
for the cruise.
52
00:03:30,607 --> 00:03:32,991
Just try to enjoy
your dinner, sweetie.
53
00:03:33,076 --> 00:03:35,377
I can't, I sold
my "dinner futures."
54
00:03:35,445 --> 00:03:37,880
Nice doing business
with you, boy.
55
00:03:37,947 --> 00:03:39,415
Homer!
56
00:03:41,184 --> 00:03:43,068
It's okay. I don't have
much of an appetite.
57
00:03:43,136 --> 00:03:45,170
I'm going to floor.
58
00:03:50,460 --> 00:03:52,127
Mom! Dad!
59
00:03:52,195 --> 00:03:53,962
I woke up and the
money jar was full!
60
00:03:54,030 --> 00:03:55,881
That means the devil
accepted my bargain.
61
00:03:55,949 --> 00:03:57,916
Now, to uphold
my end of the deal!
62
00:03:57,984 --> 00:04:00,702
Snowball II!
No!
63
00:04:00,770 --> 00:04:03,072
We saw how much
this cruise means to you,
64
00:04:03,139 --> 00:04:05,507
so we all
sold something special.
65
00:04:05,575 --> 00:04:08,560
And we made just enough
for an economy cabin!
66
00:04:08,628 --> 00:04:11,096
I sold a couple of my
rare jazz records.
67
00:04:11,164 --> 00:04:13,298
After a while they all
start to sound the same.
68
00:04:13,366 --> 00:04:15,200
Still love the genre, of course.
69
00:04:15,268 --> 00:04:18,103
Not even close
to getting sick of it.
70
00:04:18,171 --> 00:04:20,539
And I sold our good china.
71
00:04:20,607 --> 00:04:22,007
Really?!
72
00:04:22,075 --> 00:04:24,376
But that's been in your
family for generations.
73
00:04:24,444 --> 00:04:25,978
Yeah...
74
00:04:26,045 --> 00:04:29,615
actually, my mom stole it
from a woman she cleaned for.
75
00:04:29,682 --> 00:04:31,483
Took her years to
get the whole set.
76
00:04:31,551 --> 00:04:33,585
And Dad donated
something, too.
77
00:04:33,653 --> 00:04:35,671
What happened to
my mini-pool table?!
78
00:04:35,738 --> 00:04:38,540
I was training to be
a mini-pool hustler.
79
00:04:38,608 --> 00:04:41,710
We sold it to pay
for a family cruise.
80
00:04:41,778 --> 00:04:45,948
I never even got to realize
this jacket was too small.
81
00:04:46,015 --> 00:04:48,283
It's weird to hear
myself saying this, but...
82
00:04:48,351 --> 00:04:49,551
I love you guys.
83
00:04:49,619 --> 00:04:52,221
This is going to be
the best vacation ever!
84
00:04:52,288 --> 00:04:54,656
Yeah, for you kids, maybe.
85
00:04:54,724 --> 00:04:59,094
For dads, a family vacation is a
24-hour-a-day babysitting job.
86
00:04:59,162 --> 00:05:00,762
"Are you wearing
enough sun block?"
87
00:05:00,830 --> 00:05:02,798
"Is that splashing or drowning?"
88
00:05:02,866 --> 00:05:07,069
"Why does every sand castle
require my participation?"
89
00:05:07,137 --> 00:05:09,972
Then a kid disappears,
and it's total panic
90
00:05:10,039 --> 00:05:12,207
until you find him
at the swim-up bar...
91
00:05:12,275 --> 00:05:14,476
...eating a 30-dollar
cheeseburger,
92
00:05:14,544 --> 00:05:17,079
which he drops in the water!
93
00:05:17,147 --> 00:05:20,516
And here's the worst part:
I never get any time alone
94
00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:24,353
with my wife because we're all
sleeping in the same room!
95
00:05:24,420 --> 00:05:26,255
Look, that's our ship!
96
00:05:43,339 --> 00:05:47,025
Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but
your cruise is overbooked.
97
00:05:47,093 --> 00:05:49,361
What?
I can offer you a cabin
98
00:05:49,429 --> 00:05:51,563
on our sugar-free
fitness cruise.
99
00:05:51,631 --> 00:05:53,131
Welcome to eight days
and seven nights
100
00:05:53,199 --> 00:05:55,300
of pushups and kale!
101
00:05:56,836 --> 00:05:59,671
Well, well,
Mr. Never-Wrong was right again:
102
00:05:59,739 --> 00:06:02,407
Family vacations always suck.
103
00:06:02,475 --> 00:06:03,876
I called it!
104
00:06:03,943 --> 00:06:05,644
Called... it.
105
00:06:05,712 --> 00:06:08,180
Homer, this is bad for you, too.
106
00:06:08,248 --> 00:06:10,015
♪ Worth it to be ri-ght! ♪
107
00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:11,783
♪ Worth it to be ri-ght! ♪
108
00:06:13,453 --> 00:06:15,754
Wait a minute, I can get you
back on your original ship,
109
00:06:15,822 --> 00:06:17,389
but in a different cabin.
110
00:06:17,457 --> 00:06:20,242
Upgrade!
111
00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:22,628
I'm sorry, there's
been a mistake.
112
00:06:22,695 --> 00:06:25,397
This isn't your cabin.
113
00:06:25,465 --> 00:06:28,200
Double upgrade! All right!
114
00:06:29,869 --> 00:06:32,871
I knew it.
It was all a dream.
115
00:06:32,939 --> 00:06:34,690
No, honey.
You just passed out
116
00:06:34,757 --> 00:06:37,859
when you saw the private bedroom
in our triple upgrade!
117
00:06:37,927 --> 00:06:41,597
I actually did it--
a perfect vacation.
118
00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:50,823
You'll never guess how many
bath towels they gave us...
119
00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:53,725
- enough!
- Whoo...
120
00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:55,994
And there's a
DVD library of movies
121
00:06:56,062 --> 00:06:57,563
that haven't been released yet.
122
00:06:57,630 --> 00:06:58,831
Whoa...
123
00:06:58,898 --> 00:07:00,265
Whoa.
124
00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:01,867
Greetings, cruisers!
125
00:07:01,935 --> 00:07:04,970
I'm your cruise director,
Rowan Priddis,
126
00:07:05,038 --> 00:07:07,739
and welcome aboard
the Royalty Valhalla,
127
00:07:07,807 --> 00:07:11,110
where the only rule
is "Always Have Fun!"
128
00:07:11,177 --> 00:07:14,313
Your every need will be catered
to from our toddler's club
129
00:07:14,380 --> 00:07:18,784
to "Condolences," our award-
winning luxury morgue.
130
00:07:18,852 --> 00:07:20,819
Your enjoyment pays my salary,
131
00:07:20,887 --> 00:07:23,021
so in a sense,
each of you is my boss...
132
00:07:23,089 --> 00:07:24,356
and as my boss...
133
00:07:24,424 --> 00:07:26,859
I'd like to ask you
for a week of vacation.
134
00:07:26,926 --> 00:07:29,461
A week I will spend here
on this cruise,
135
00:07:29,529 --> 00:07:31,897
performing my normal duties
as cruise director.
136
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:36,702
That's how much I love my job.
137
00:07:36,769 --> 00:07:37,936
Bon voyage!
138
00:07:39,639 --> 00:07:42,040
Whoa, a "Fun Schedule"!
139
00:07:42,108 --> 00:07:43,859
There's so much to do:
140
00:07:43,927 --> 00:07:45,727
Laser-Tag, Waterslide Bobsled...
141
00:07:45,795 --> 00:07:49,097
Oh! Ice Cream Snowball
Fight starts in five minutes!
142
00:07:50,533 --> 00:07:56,455
Homie, we actually have
the cabin all to ourselves.
143
00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:01,860
Sex on a family vacation?
144
00:08:01,928 --> 00:08:04,296
I never thought
such a thing was possible!
145
00:08:04,364 --> 00:08:06,298
Oh, ho...
146
00:08:06,366 --> 00:08:09,368
And the ocean
will do all of the work.
147
00:08:11,204 --> 00:08:13,438
Ocean sex rules!
148
00:08:13,506 --> 00:08:15,624
Go to hell, land sex!
149
00:08:17,293 --> 00:08:19,461
KidZone.
150
00:08:19,512 --> 00:08:21,597
Let me guess:
a broken foosball table
151
00:08:21,664 --> 00:08:23,932
and a game of Clue
missing its candlestick.
152
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,736
Lisa Simpson? Our KidZone
pre-screeners have placed you
153
00:08:27,804 --> 00:08:29,922
with our most
sophisticated children--
154
00:08:29,989 --> 00:08:31,623
"KidZone: Elite".
155
00:08:36,012 --> 00:08:39,064
Help me study the effects
of rising ocean acidity.
156
00:08:39,132 --> 00:08:42,167
No, help me tag
and release seabirds.
157
00:08:42,235 --> 00:08:43,852
It's so diverse.
158
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,421
I've died and gone to
a PBS Kids show!
159
00:08:49,492 --> 00:08:50,792
Two?!
160
00:08:54,948 --> 00:08:57,916
All right, Fun Schedule,
you're about to get did!
161
00:09:38,007 --> 00:09:41,576
Two diplomats' sons
are in love with me.
162
00:09:41,644 --> 00:09:44,046
Who will I choose:
Ghana or Portugal?
163
00:09:44,113 --> 00:09:46,315
Boy, thanks to you,
we're having fun--
164
00:09:46,382 --> 00:09:48,383
"before you were born" fun.
165
00:09:48,451 --> 00:09:50,018
Where did the ship
stop again?
166
00:09:50,086 --> 00:09:53,221
I don't know, a lot of barefoot
kids kicking soccer balls,
167
00:09:53,289 --> 00:09:56,858
shell necklaces; they really
hid the poverty nicely.
168
00:09:56,926 --> 00:10:00,829
Anyplace is fun if
you're there with "Super Lips."
169
00:10:03,433 --> 00:10:05,100
Your names...
170
00:10:05,168 --> 00:10:08,103
I'm just glad everyone is having
the best week of their lives.
171
00:10:10,406 --> 00:10:13,208
Whenever we reach the halfway
point of our voyage,
172
00:10:13,276 --> 00:10:15,644
I like to take a moment
to reflect.
173
00:10:15,712 --> 00:10:17,913
Hit it,
Gary Ocean and the Motion!
174
00:10:17,981 --> 00:10:22,134
♪ Enjoy it while you can ♪
175
00:10:22,201 --> 00:10:25,771
♪ Ice-sculptures, conga lines,
and working on your tan ♪
176
00:10:25,838 --> 00:10:29,708
♪ Enjoy it while you're here ♪
177
00:10:29,776 --> 00:10:33,545
♪ One week of glitz and glam
instead of pain and fear ♪
178
00:10:35,214 --> 00:10:38,433
♪ In just a few days' time,
this boat pulls into dock ♪
179
00:10:38,501 --> 00:10:43,188
♪ And when it does, you lovely
people may be in for a shock ♪
180
00:10:43,256 --> 00:10:45,040
♪ Here you've made
exciting friends ♪
181
00:10:45,107 --> 00:10:47,159
♪ Back home,
you'll all lose touch ♪
182
00:10:47,226 --> 00:10:48,760
♪ Here, Hawaiian shirts
are cool ♪
183
00:10:48,828 --> 00:10:50,879
♪ Back home, well, not so much ♪
184
00:10:50,947 --> 00:10:55,067
♪ Back home, you'll be to tired
for making magic in the sack ♪
185
00:10:55,134 --> 00:10:57,085
♪ So, eat buffet,
and play and pray ♪
186
00:10:57,153 --> 00:11:00,589
♪ There's some delay
on our way back ♪
187
00:11:00,656 --> 00:11:04,726
♪ Enjoy it while you can ♪
188
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:07,262
♪ Here at sea,
we drink and frolic ♪
189
00:11:07,313 --> 00:11:09,114
♪ Back home,
that's called alcoholic ♪
190
00:11:09,182 --> 00:11:12,784
♪ Your future's up
but parabolic ♪
191
00:11:12,852 --> 00:11:19,608
♪ Enjoy it while you can. ♪
192
00:11:19,675 --> 00:11:20,559
Bravo!
193
00:11:20,626 --> 00:11:21,993
Yeah, all right!
Oh, yeah!
194
00:11:26,949 --> 00:11:28,183
The song's right.
195
00:11:28,251 --> 00:11:30,519
No matter how much fun
I cram into this cruise,
196
00:11:30,586 --> 00:11:32,154
it only lasts a week.
197
00:11:32,221 --> 00:11:34,740
Then it's back to Mom and Dad
fighting, Lisa moping,
198
00:11:34,807 --> 00:11:37,092
homework, bullies
and a lunch bag sandwich
199
00:11:37,159 --> 00:11:40,278
soggy with the sweat
of a juice box!
200
00:11:40,346 --> 00:11:45,050
After this cruise, for the rest
of my life, it's all downhill.
201
00:11:49,822 --> 00:11:51,990
Only good week of my life.
202
00:12:00,950 --> 00:12:03,718
Haw-haw!
203
00:12:05,922 --> 00:12:09,391
Why can't vacation last forever?
204
00:12:09,459 --> 00:12:12,193
I've got to do something.
205
00:12:13,362 --> 00:12:14,329
Sorry.
206
00:12:20,553 --> 00:12:22,971
There's
something I see
207
00:12:23,039 --> 00:12:25,791
that's even more beautiful
than Ganymede, Lisa.
208
00:12:25,858 --> 00:12:27,559
I... Oh.
209
00:12:27,627 --> 00:12:29,377
That's right, Io.
210
00:12:29,445 --> 00:12:33,849
But no moon of Jupiter
is as beautiful as you.
211
00:12:33,916 --> 00:12:34,800
Oh.
212
00:12:39,689 --> 00:12:40,906
Purple!
213
00:12:51,267 --> 00:12:53,902
This is General William Sullivan
with an emergency message.
214
00:12:53,970 --> 00:12:56,988
I'm speaking to you
from a CDC clean zone.
215
00:12:57,056 --> 00:13:00,642
Outbreak of the deadly Pandora
virus is spreading rapidly.
216
00:13:00,710 --> 00:13:04,379
precedented threat requires
a worldwide quarantine.
217
00:13:04,447 --> 00:13:07,599
All ships must remain at sea
until further...
218
00:13:07,683 --> 00:13:09,451
Humanity must endure.
219
00:13:09,519 --> 00:13:11,019
A virus?!
220
00:13:11,086 --> 00:13:13,839
- We're stuck on the ship?!
- What should we do?!
221
00:13:17,627 --> 00:13:20,662
They're buying it.
They're buying it.
222
00:13:20,730 --> 00:13:22,998
"Chillingly plausible" indeed,
223
00:13:23,065 --> 00:13:25,400
Joe Morgenstern of
The Wall Street Journal.
224
00:13:25,468 --> 00:13:28,103
Now to make sure no one can
call home to check,
225
00:13:28,171 --> 00:13:30,906
with a little help from
the make-your-own-sundae bar.
226
00:13:33,075 --> 00:13:34,809
Squirt, squirt.
227
00:13:34,877 --> 00:13:37,028
Mmm.
228
00:13:40,850 --> 00:13:41,950
Mmm.
229
00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:49,257
Our attempts
to contact the mainland
230
00:13:49,325 --> 00:13:50,926
have met with nothing
but static.
231
00:13:50,993 --> 00:13:53,929
It appears we have no choice--
to avoid the virus,
232
00:13:53,996 --> 00:13:57,566
we must remain at sea
indefinitely.
233
00:13:57,633 --> 00:13:59,134
Oh, no!
234
00:13:59,202 --> 00:14:00,268
We're stuck here!
235
00:14:00,336 --> 00:14:01,169
Woo-hoo!
236
00:14:01,237 --> 00:14:03,905
Vacation forever!
237
00:14:10,843 --> 00:14:13,078
Good morning, everyone!
238
00:14:13,146 --> 00:14:16,748
As we greet a sunny
Day 12, After Virus.
239
00:14:16,816 --> 00:14:18,884
While the world
deals with their pandemic,
240
00:14:18,951 --> 00:14:22,054
we're having a "fundemic,"
under the capable hands
241
00:14:22,121 --> 00:14:24,790
of our Norwegian
Captain Svalbard.
242
00:14:24,857 --> 00:14:28,593
I always knew mankind's
hubris would doom us all.
243
00:14:28,661 --> 00:14:31,229
Ja, he spoke
of it often.
244
00:14:31,297 --> 00:14:32,864
Once we reach our exciting
245
00:14:32,932 --> 00:14:34,933
and hopefully
virus-free destination,
246
00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:37,869
romantic Antarctica,
our activities will include
247
00:14:37,937 --> 00:14:39,738
building shelter,
hunting for food
248
00:14:39,806 --> 00:14:42,641
and starting civilization anew.
249
00:14:42,709 --> 00:14:44,710
While supplies may be
running a little low,
250
00:14:44,777 --> 00:14:47,512
not to worry,
as today's delicious buffet
251
00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:51,583
features fresh seagull
and hull-scraped barnacles.
252
00:14:51,651 --> 00:14:56,088
In the Chuckles Comedy Club,
we have Joey Scazzazone,
253
00:14:56,155 --> 00:14:58,223
with his
no-longer-observational take
254
00:14:58,291 --> 00:15:00,158
on our pre-virus lives.
255
00:15:00,226 --> 00:15:01,543
Hey, so what's the deal with
256
00:15:01,611 --> 00:15:04,279
how many Starbucks
there used to be, huh?
257
00:15:04,347 --> 00:15:06,548
I don't know why
that bothered me so much.
258
00:15:06,616 --> 00:15:08,483
Hug your kids.
259
00:15:10,570 --> 00:15:12,070
Need a break?
260
00:15:12,138 --> 00:15:15,073
Then don't check out
the Sensations Luxury Spa,
261
00:15:15,141 --> 00:15:18,160
which is now the stronghold
of charismatic cult leader
262
00:15:18,227 --> 00:15:19,694
Dave the Lifeguard.
263
00:15:19,762 --> 00:15:22,814
Mankind was warned
not to run near the pool!
264
00:15:22,882 --> 00:15:24,616
Mankind did not listen!
265
00:15:24,684 --> 00:15:26,685
The virus is his reward!
266
00:15:26,753 --> 00:15:29,287
Ohm... ohm...
267
00:15:29,355 --> 00:15:33,358
So, remember, rule number one
is "always have fun,"
268
00:15:33,426 --> 00:15:36,962
because fun is the only thing
that will keep us alive.
269
00:15:37,029 --> 00:15:39,064
Fun!
270
00:15:39,132 --> 00:15:42,017
Worthless, worthless,
worthless.
271
00:15:42,085 --> 00:15:44,736
Hey, guys, can you believe
how awesome this is?
272
00:15:44,804 --> 00:15:46,321
If it wasn't for
this virus thing,
273
00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:48,356
we'd all be back
at our old sucky lives.
274
00:15:48,424 --> 00:15:51,827
Instead, you're here, where you
can be lovey-dovey all the time.
275
00:15:51,894 --> 00:15:53,562
Come on, kiss.
276
00:15:53,629 --> 00:15:55,147
Kiss!
277
00:15:55,214 --> 00:15:59,017
Bart, we're too worried
to enjoy each other's mouths.
278
00:15:59,085 --> 00:16:01,319
Yeah, and the customer
service on this cruise
279
00:16:01,387 --> 00:16:02,721
has really
gone downhill.
280
00:16:02,789 --> 00:16:04,790
Drop dead, fat-ass!
281
00:16:06,159 --> 00:16:09,294
Last week, that steward
brought me extra shampoo.
282
00:16:09,362 --> 00:16:11,563
He called me
"lovely lady."
283
00:16:11,631 --> 00:16:14,549
Hey, Lis, at least you nerds
are still geekin' it up.
284
00:16:14,617 --> 00:16:17,385
What could be sweeter than
a vacation that never ends?
285
00:16:17,453 --> 00:16:19,054
Sweet? Sweet?!
286
00:16:19,122 --> 00:16:20,388
The passengers on this ship
287
00:16:20,456 --> 00:16:21,990
could be the last people
on earth.
288
00:16:22,058 --> 00:16:22,991
Like monks during
the Dark Ages,
289
00:16:23,059 --> 00:16:25,393
it's up to the KidZone: Elite
290
00:16:25,461 --> 00:16:27,562
to make a record
of human culture.
291
00:16:27,647 --> 00:16:29,514
This group is adapting
children's classics
292
00:16:29,565 --> 00:16:33,017
for the stage to entertain
generations of survivors.
293
00:16:33,069 --> 00:16:35,737
Erik, we must work
with the humans.
294
00:16:35,822 --> 00:16:37,939
You are so
naive, Charles.
295
00:16:38,007 --> 00:16:40,208
We should rule them
as conquerors.
296
00:16:40,276 --> 00:16:44,112
Can't anybody enjoy
their forever vacation?
297
00:16:45,515 --> 00:16:46,948
Check it out!
The gallery was gonna
298
00:16:47,016 --> 00:16:48,316
throw these paintings
overboard,
299
00:16:48,384 --> 00:16:50,852
like they were
worthless garbage.
300
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,054
Bart, glad
you're here.
301
00:16:53,122 --> 00:16:54,990
We're all gonna watch
a movie together.
302
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,575
Yeah, a movie!
303
00:16:56,642 --> 00:16:59,644
It is about time you guys
started having some fun.
304
00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:03,114
Humanity must endure.
305
00:17:03,182 --> 00:17:04,900
General, it's worse
than we thought.
306
00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:06,334
The virus is
getting bigger.
307
00:17:10,356 --> 00:17:11,857
Bart, how could you?
308
00:17:11,924 --> 00:17:13,408
Uh, got to go!
309
00:17:13,492 --> 00:17:17,179
Man, I kicked butt
in the gladiator arena today.
310
00:17:17,246 --> 00:17:20,232
I won the last package
of hot dogs on the ship.
311
00:17:20,299 --> 00:17:22,968
I got robbed by marauders
on the way home.
312
00:17:23,035 --> 00:17:24,870
There is no virus!
313
00:17:24,937 --> 00:17:27,255
Bart faked the whole
thing with a DVD.
314
00:17:27,323 --> 00:17:30,559
A direct-to-video DVD.
315
00:17:30,626 --> 00:17:33,828
You stand accused
of letting down your team
316
00:17:33,896 --> 00:17:35,597
during music trivia.
317
00:17:35,665 --> 00:17:40,035
Your fun-ishment: eight hours
in the penal conga line.
318
00:17:44,657 --> 00:17:47,292
Excuse me, Cruise
Director Priddis.
319
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,527
My son has something
to tell you.
320
00:17:49,595 --> 00:17:52,697
Speak passenger,
son of passenger.
321
00:17:52,765 --> 00:17:54,766
It was all a hoax;
there's no virus.
322
00:17:56,085 --> 00:17:57,936
But the warning
from the general!
323
00:17:58,004 --> 00:18:00,605
That was just Treat Williams
in a virus movie.
324
00:18:00,673 --> 00:18:03,308
You know, I thought
that general looked familiar.
325
00:18:03,376 --> 00:18:04,276
What?
326
00:18:04,343 --> 00:18:06,111
I'm in a lot of movies.
327
00:18:09,715 --> 00:18:12,133
I take back everything
I said to you
328
00:18:12,201 --> 00:18:14,469
that night
in the dolphin lab.
329
00:18:16,005 --> 00:18:18,039
All that happened is we got
a little extra vacation.
330
00:18:18,107 --> 00:18:19,741
Is that so bad?
331
00:18:19,809 --> 00:18:21,443
I think I ate
people meat!
332
00:18:22,845 --> 00:18:24,613
I know my son did
a terrible thing.
333
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,748
But there's a chapel
on this ship,
334
00:18:26,816 --> 00:18:28,800
and in that chapel
there's a book,
335
00:18:28,868 --> 00:18:31,870
and it says,
"Judge not, lest ye..."
336
00:18:33,973 --> 00:18:35,407
After this,
I'll be lucky to get work
337
00:18:35,474 --> 00:18:38,476
on a clothing-optional
Jimmy Buffett cruise!
338
00:18:38,544 --> 00:18:40,979
What about the duty-free
stuff we bought?
339
00:18:41,047 --> 00:18:43,315
"Never have fun!"
340
00:18:43,382 --> 00:18:45,250
My booze and cologne!
341
00:18:59,446 --> 00:19:00,859
That's fair.
342
00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:02,165
Sorry.
343
00:19:02,166 --> 00:19:03,417
I deserve it.
344
00:19:03,484 --> 00:19:05,519
Ow! That one really hurt.
345
00:19:05,587 --> 00:19:09,323
Sorry, sweetie, I just needed
to get that out of my system.
346
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:12,893
This stupid prank is the most
selfish thing you've ever done!
347
00:19:12,961 --> 00:19:15,062
I wasn't being selfish.
348
00:19:15,129 --> 00:19:17,397
I did it
for you guys, too.
349
00:19:17,465 --> 00:19:20,100
Lisa, you made friends
with kids just like you.
350
00:19:20,168 --> 00:19:23,637
Mom and Dad, you were more happy
and in love than I ever saw you.
351
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:26,039
It was the best week
of all of our lives,
352
00:19:26,107 --> 00:19:27,574
and I wanted it
to last forever.
353
00:19:28,743 --> 00:19:30,877
Choke on my numb
blue hands!
354
00:19:32,747 --> 00:19:34,581
Oh... what the...
355
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:38,085
Hey, up here!
356
00:19:38,152 --> 00:19:39,486
You got to see this!
357
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:42,522
Ooh!
358
00:19:42,590 --> 00:19:45,325
From egg to baby to grownup,
359
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:46,893
we can see them living
360
00:19:46,961 --> 00:19:48,695
their entire penguin lives
from up here.
361
00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:53,200
What a load of crap.
362
00:19:53,268 --> 00:19:56,670
They spend all their time
trying to raise a baby, and why?
363
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:59,339
So it can grow up and
do the same dumb thing,
364
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,108
on and on forever.
365
00:20:01,175 --> 00:20:02,943
The penguin's life
isn't all bad.
366
00:20:03,011 --> 00:20:04,478
Those ones are having a blast.
367
00:20:07,799 --> 00:20:09,967
But the slide's just
like our cruise:
368
00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:11,752
a short awesome thing
that just shows you
369
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,587
how boring the rest
of your life is.
370
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:16,423
Well, sure, life is
full of pain and drudgery,
371
00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:19,359
but the trick is to enjoy
the few perfect experiences
372
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:21,161
we're given in the moment.
373
00:20:21,229 --> 00:20:22,996
Yeah, stupid.
374
00:20:23,064 --> 00:20:26,350
Stop thinking about fun
and have it!
375
00:20:28,636 --> 00:20:30,320
Whoa... whoa...!
376
00:20:32,056 --> 00:20:33,457
Hey, wait for me!
377
00:20:51,743 --> 00:20:53,844
What a great ride.
378
00:21:21,689 --> 00:21:25,689
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
379
00:21:45,196 --> 00:21:46,713
Shh!