1 00:00:03,753 --> 00:00:07,172 Completely empty box, if you'd like to examine it. 2 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:08,382 Mm-hm. 3 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:12,720 Yep. I see nothing in this box but a wasted childhood. 4 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,764 Little snarky there, cello lessons. 5 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:23,022 We have this completely ordinary cylinder if you'd like to examine it. 6 00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:28,318 Ordinary, yet I sense it is dripping with magical potential. 7 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,863 Oh, dear Lord. 8 00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:34,491 A man pops out for a moment to evacuate his bowels... 9 00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:38,162 ...and catch up on the adventures of the Caped Crusader only to emerge... 10 00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:42,499 ...and discover his apartment has been transformed into a cabaret. 11 00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:46,045 Sheldon, he's practicing for his cousin's birthday party. 12 00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:50,424 As I was saying, empty box, empty cylinder, and... 13 00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:51,800 Ooh! 14 00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:53,469 Voilà. 15 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:58,932 I'm telling you, there's a seat on the Hogwart's Express with your name on it. 16 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:02,644 This is how you're going to entertain your little cousin and his friends? 17 00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:05,689 - By lying to them? - How is this lying? 18 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,692 A magic show is an inherently deceitful proposition. 19 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:13,072 "This is an ordinary top hat." "You've chosen that card freely." 20 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:16,575 "I do not have a set of lock picks lodged in my keister." 21 00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:19,453 Can't you just enjoy the wonder? 22 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:22,748 Why must you peek behind the curtain, or up the butt? 23 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,710 If we poison the critical thinking faculties of children... 24 00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:29,088 ...by telling them rabbits come out of hats... 25 00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:33,175 ...then we create adults who believe in astrology and homeopathy... 26 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:36,345 ...and Ryan Reynolds was a better choice for Green Lantern... 27 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,472 ...than lovable rogue Nathan Fillion. 28 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:43,227 He's just gonna do a few magic tricks for some kids. 29 00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:47,064 I really don't think they're gonna end up liking the Green Lantern movie. 30 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:51,610 Don't be so hard on him, it's natural to be a little cranky when you have... 31 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,654 ...a quarter in your ear. 32 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:59,201 Coins lodged in body parts is not a source of amusement. 33 00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:02,830 When I was five, Billy Sparks put a Mexican peso up my nose. 34 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:08,502 - How is that not amusing? - It's still there. 35 00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:14,216 It takes me 45 minutes to get through airport security. 36 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,596 Look. I made Sheldon disappear. Ta-da! 37 00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:23,142 Next time you should open with that. 38 00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:53,005 Ooh! Look who's out on a date. Pasadena's favorite power couple, Shamy. 39 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,216 And that is the answer to the question: 40 00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:59,094 "What is wrong with eating at the Cheesecake Factory?" 41 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,513 So are we celebrating anything special tonight? 42 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:02,931 Oh, yes. 43 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:06,643 Our relationship agreement specifies the second Thursday of every month... 44 00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:10,939 ...or the third Thursday in a month with five Thursdays is date night. 45 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,861 That is so hot. 46 00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:22,409 All right, without objection, the minutes of the previous date... 47 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:27,164 ...are considered read and agreed to. Any new business? 48 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:30,042 - How was your day? - Superb. 49 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,712 This morning I made a palindrome with my Alpha-Bits. 50 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,298 "Nice Hat, Bob Tahecin." 51 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,219 Sounds like you hit the ground running. 52 00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:42,930 I have a bit of good news myself. 53 00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:46,475 My most recent paper on how cooperative long-term potentiation... 54 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,144 ...can map memory sequences in dendritic branches... 55 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,146 ...made the cover of Neuron. 56 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:57,611 Ooh! Peaking of good news, somebody just hit 100 Twitter followers. 57 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:03,116 That's nice. Anyway, I've been dreaming of this day for a long time. 58 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:07,037 Yeah, me too. Triple digits. I'm not gonna lie, feels pretty good. 59 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,666 I'm the sole author on a paper being published... 60 00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:13,919 ...in a distinguished journal that may change the course of my field. 61 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,379 Mm-hm, mm-hm. Ooh! 62 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:19,341 One-oh-one! Air's getting a bit thin up here. 63 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:22,886 So are we ready to order? 64 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:26,723 Give me a minute. I'm gonna go wash up. 65 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:32,062 Well, that's odd. We both washed up when we came in. 66 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,606 It's probably a euphemism for urination. 67 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,568 - Sheldon, what is wrong with you? - Not much. 68 00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:42,823 Although I can be faulted for being overly fond of koala bears. 69 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:48,036 I don't know what it is, when they start munching on eucalyptus, I melt inside. 70 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:52,457 Okay. Amy told you some exciting news and you acted like it was no big deal. 71 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,668 Oh! I see why you're confused. No. 72 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:57,713 Her news sounded important, but what you're forgetting is... 73 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,424 ...it was an achievement in the field of biology. 74 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:03,385 That's all about yucky squishy things. 75 00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:07,431 All right, honey, she's upset. You're her boyfriend. 76 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:11,476 You have to at least try to be excited by the things she's excited by. 77 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:16,523 - What if they simply don't excite me? - Well, just smile and think about koalas. 78 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,193 She'd see right through that. We go to the zoo all the time. 79 00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:21,653 She knows my koala face. 80 00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:25,615 And for future reference, it's this. 81 00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:33,373 Wow, you have a lot of magic stuff. 82 00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:35,751 Yeah, started when I was a teenager. 83 00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:39,755 Thought I could show a girl a few tricks and invite her up to my bedroom... 84 00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:42,466 ...to see the rest of the act. 85 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,635 - Did it work? - Let's just say... 86 00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:49,264 ...the only wand that ever saw any action was this one. 87 00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:57,356 Oh! Look what my mom made us for the act. 88 00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:00,692 Ooh! I like the fabric. Where'd she get it? 89 00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,779 Well, she cut up one of her old bathing suits. 90 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:10,535 She made these two vests and half a dozen napkins. 91 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:13,747 Has she tried on the vest yet? 92 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,875 L just gave it to her. - I hope it fits. 93 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:21,755 She has a tricky figure. She's short and stacked like me. 94 00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:27,511 She's not stacked like you, Ma. She never steps on hers. 95 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:35,435 Listen, Howie. Maybe I'm not the best choice to be a magician's assistant. 96 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:38,146 You'll do fine. Hand me those rings? 97 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,483 See? You nailed it. 98 00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:44,736 No, it's just that I'm not that comfortable with little kids. 99 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,030 That's because you haven't been around them. 100 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:51,326 This is good practice. I mean, you are gonna be a mom someday, right? 101 00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:54,037 Yeah, sure. 102 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,872 Oh, ho, ho! 103 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:59,418 I haven't seen this trick in years. 104 00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:03,505 It's called the dove pan. You let everyone see the pan is empty... 105 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:07,300 ...but there's a secret compartment in the lid. 106 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:10,303 And then you open it and produce a live... 107 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,774 Don't look in there. 108 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,115 Oh, a little "Red Dead Redemption," huh? 109 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,743 - Yes. - How come you're not doing a mission? 110 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,037 You're just wandering around. 111 00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:40,292 I had a rough night, thought I'd go for a walk and clear my head. 112 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,881 Some people go outside and do that. 113 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:49,718 It's after 9:00. At this hour, the streets of Pasadena... 114 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:52,971 ...are teeming with drunken sailors and alley cats. 115 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,099 Do you wanna talk about it? 116 00:07:56,267 --> 00:08:01,104 No, I think I'll just go in this saloon and drink my troubles away. 117 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,863 You know digital alcohol is never a solution. 118 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,366 What's going on? 119 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,286 Hard as this may be to believe... 120 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:20,540 ...it's possible that I'm not boyfriend material. 121 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,338 Glad I was sitting down for that. 122 00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,591 Did you and Amy get in a fight? 123 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,469 Amy had a fight. I was being perfectly reasonable. 124 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,722 I'm gonna have a whiskey. Want anything? 125 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:40,477 No, I can't. I'm playing "Grand Theft Auto" later. 126 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,236 - Look, I'm no expert in women... - I'll say. 127 00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:53,532 Not necessary when someone's trying to help you. 128 00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:57,244 Sorry, it's the alcohol talking. Go on. 129 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:03,959 Sometimes with women you wanna listen to what upsets them... 130 00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:08,880 ...and show them that you can grow and change. 131 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,800 Nuts to that. What else you got? 132 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:16,429 I don't know what to tell you. Buy her something. 133 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,183 How does that work? 134 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:25,438 Well, you skip over any attempt to repair your emotional connection... 135 00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:30,110 ...and you win back her affection with an empty financial gesture. 136 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:35,198 Well, that approach has Sheldon Cooper written all over it. 137 00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,452 - Glad I could help. - It's appreciated. 138 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:42,956 If you manage to find a woman again, I'll be glad to return the favor. 139 00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:51,047 And now, all the rings are magically linked together. 140 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:58,555 My fiancée's wearing a magic ring too. It made all my money disappear. 141 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,851 Oh, oh, right. 142 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:12,193 And now, the Great Howdini's next miraculous illusion. 143 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,071 When are we gonna have cake? 144 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:18,742 After you've been thoroughly amazed. 145 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,412 But we want cake now. 146 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:25,665 Well, you're not getting cake right now, capiche? 147 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,462 Heh, heh, okay, okay. 148 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,549 Now my lovely assistant is going to bring me... 149 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:38,595 - ...an ordinary pitcher of milk. - I know how you do that trick. 150 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,388 Do you know how to pipe down? 151 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:47,103 Okay, we're going to roll up this newspaper. 152 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,814 - It's a fake pitcher. - You got wax in your ears? 153 00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:52,567 The man said it's an ordinary pitcher. 154 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:55,612 Howdini? 155 00:10:56,864 --> 00:11:01,201 Okay. We're going to stick this in here. 156 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:04,412 And then I'm going to pour in the milk. 157 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:07,457 Ha, ha, I hope this works because I didn't bring a change of pants. 158 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:12,128 Look, I Googled it. It's a fake pitcher. 159 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:19,094 That's it. No cake for you. Anyone else wanna join the No Cake Club? 160 00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:23,807 She's just kidding, boys and girls. Everyone gets cake. 161 00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:26,643 Not him. 162 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,731 Just give me the pitcher. 163 00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:35,026 Behold. 164 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:49,916 Wrong pitcher. 165 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,507 I told you I'm not good with kids. 166 00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:58,925 Yes, you did. 167 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,803 I think my crotch is starting to curdle. 168 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:06,516 The thing is, my mother worked full-time. 169 00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,561 I had to take care of my brothers and sisters. 170 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,313 - Yeah, so? - Uh, it was horrible. 171 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,941 With their snotty noses and their poopy diapers... 172 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:17,736 ...and their little shrieky voices, always complaining. 173 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:20,989 "I don't wanna get dressed." "Joey keeps spitting in my mouth." 174 00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,032 "This isn't the way Mom makes waffles." 175 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,995 Well, okay, put your hand in here. Let's see how you like this waffle. 176 00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:32,667 All right, settle down. Red light. Red light. 177 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:36,296 Red light. Okay, we're fine. 178 00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:40,467 I'm sorry. I know it makes me sound like a bad person... 179 00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:44,471 - ...but I just don't like children. - Yeah, no, we all got that. 180 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:50,935 But don't you think it'll be different when the child is ours? 181 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:54,606 Right. When it's our kid that's ruined my body, kept me up all night... 182 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:58,568 ...and I've got no career, no future, nothing to be happy about for 20 years. 183 00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:01,321 Sure, that'll be completely different. 184 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,618 Well, yeah. 185 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,542 I don't think there's anything in this jewelry store... 186 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:19,798 ...that Amy would appreciate more than the humidifier we're looking at at Sears. 187 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:25,178 Oh, my God. Now I know what I sound like to you when I say stupid stuff. 188 00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:29,891 Ooh! A pocket watch. 189 00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,935 I don't think Amy wants a pocket watch. 190 00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:36,064 No, but maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch. 191 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:39,234 Still saying stupid stuff. 192 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:44,614 - Does she like bracelets? - Well, she's very fond of her silver one... 193 00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:47,450 ...that says "allergic to penicillin." 194 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,786 Maybe they have a dressier version of that. 195 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:53,122 How are we doing this afternoon? Looking for anything special? 196 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:54,707 Perhaps a ring for the lady? 197 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:57,252 Trust me, we are not a couple. 198 00:13:57,753 --> 00:14:00,797 Excuse me. I don't see why you get to snort derisively... 199 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:04,592 ...and point that out. You'd be lucky to land a fellow like me. 200 00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,135 Fine. Go ahead. 201 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,013 Trust me, we are not a couple. 202 00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:12,600 My apologies. How can I help you today? 203 00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:15,436 He's in trouble with his girlfriend, needs a present. 204 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:21,150 Great. Trouble with girlfriends is what's putting my daughter through U.S.C. 205 00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:24,863 Ooh! 206 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,739 - Are those real diamonds? - Yes. 207 00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:29,284 Channel-set baguettes, 20 points total weight. 208 00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:33,121 Remarkable. Diamonds. Crystallized carbon. 209 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:36,624 Every day, people go to the grocery store and come home with sacks... 210 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,419 ...full of carbon in the form of charcoal briquettes... 211 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:42,171 ...they toss in their barbecues and set on fire. 212 00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:46,050 But just because you've got some carbon with the atoms stacked neatly... 213 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,887 ...you expect me to plunk down thousands of dollars. 214 00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:51,806 Actually, that's only 750. Everything's on sale. 215 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,142 Really? Talk to me about that pocket watch. 216 00:14:58,522 --> 00:15:01,024 I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. 217 00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:04,652 I always thought I'd be a dad someday. 218 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,322 Me too. You're so caring. 219 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:10,533 I've often pictured you guiding a young boy into manhood. 220 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:19,667 There you go, Howard. Sounds like Raj'll have your babies. Problem solved. 221 00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:22,045 Because a man shows caring for another man... 222 00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:25,882 ...doesn't mean he's displaying the love that dare not speak its name. 223 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,094 Did she say she didn't want kids? 224 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:32,347 Yeah. She doesn't like them. 225 00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:35,224 And from what I saw, the feeling was mutual. 226 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,191 - What are you gonna do? - I don't know. 227 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:47,570 I can't see a life where I don't have kids. I mean, people have kids. 228 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:52,408 I mean, even Donkey Kong had Donkey Kong Jr. 229 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:57,205 So he could teach someone how to kidnap princesses... 230 00:15:57,373 --> 00:16:00,333 ...and throw barrels at Italian plumbers. 231 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:06,172 You know, there's no guarantee even if you have kids you're gonna like them. 232 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:09,008 Wow, that's rough. Where'd you get that? 233 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:13,429 It's right off the dust jacket of my mom's last book. 234 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:20,103 Maybe me and Bernadette aren't right for each other. 235 00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:24,440 Look, Howard, I'd say there's a lot of fish in the sea... 236 00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:27,276 ...but I watched you dangle your hook for years. 237 00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:29,529 Do not throw her back. 238 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:36,536 I don't want to, but this is kind of a deal breaker. 239 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,746 What will your mom say if you call off the wedding? 240 00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:42,000 Heh, it'll kill her. If I don't give her grandchildren... 241 00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:46,045 ...that'll kill her too. So either way on the Mom front, I'm golden. 242 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:53,094 - What time did you tell Amy to be here? - Eight o'clock. 243 00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,561 - That pocket watch is ridiculous. - Nonsense. 244 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,855 I look like a train conductor. 245 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,569 Under what pretext did you lure her here? 246 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,822 I said, "Hey, wanna come over and hang out?" 247 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:16,617 Good, good. If you'd said something clever, she might've gotten suspicious. 248 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,287 - Hey. - Hi. 249 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,915 - What's he doing here? - Okay, he wants to talk to you. 250 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:26,794 Well, I don't wanna talk to him. And I'm pretty disappointed in you too. 251 00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:29,547 Although we both know that won't last. 252 00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,926 - Sheldon, you're up. - Thank you. 253 00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:37,013 Amy, I'd like to apologize. 254 00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:41,309 Your accomplishment was impressive, and I'm proud of you. 255 00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:48,149 - We both know that's your koala face. - I told you. 256 00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:51,903 Okay, look. He bought you this. 257 00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,782 Jewelry? Seriously? 258 00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:59,577 Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met. 259 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:02,121 You think another transparently manipulative... 260 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:03,873 Oh, it's a tiara! 261 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:08,002 A tiara. I have a tiara. Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me... 262 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:10,296 ...put it on me, put it on me, put it on me. 263 00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:15,510 You look beautiful. 264 00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:18,304 Of course I do. I'm a princess and this is my tiara. 265 00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:30,817 You were right. The tiara was too much. 266 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,533 Howard, Bernadette's... 267 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:41,077 Oh. She slipped right by me. 268 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,248 - Here's your vest back. - You should keep it. 269 00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:48,209 - You could wear it again sometime. - Where? 270 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,545 I don't know, hunting? 271 00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:55,174 Don't forget to talk to her about this meshugas... 272 00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,093 ...where I don't get grandkids. 273 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,973 Don't worry, Ma, I will, as soon as I can figure out... 274 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,517 ...a way to bring up such a sensitive issue. 275 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:12,066 - Guess you talked to your mom. - L was upset. 276 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:15,027 My mom can be a pretty good shoulder to cry on... 277 00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:18,114 ...if the smell of Bengay doesn't burn your eyes. 278 00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:23,119 Look, it's obvious having kids is really important to you... 279 00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,329 ...and I think I came up with a solution. 280 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:28,916 Really? That's great. What? 281 00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:32,336 Well, seeing as how I make way more money than you anyway... 282 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:35,339 ...what if I work and you stay home with the kids? 283 00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:37,550 - Me? - Yeah. 284 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:41,304 You know, you'll watch Barney and pull Cheerios out of their noses... 285 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:44,682 ...and go on play dates and I'll work and have conversations... 286 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,351 ...with people my own age and enjoy my life. 287 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:55,276 - Yeah. - Yay! So we're good. 288 00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,778 Yeah, we're good. 289 00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,241 I don't know if this counted as a fight... 290 00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:04,702 ...but how about some make-up sex? 291 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:09,081 I would love that. But what is that behind your ear? 292 00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:10,917 Oh, look, it's a condom.