1
00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:11,070
I'm going out to South Park
gonna have myself a time
2
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:14,406
Friendly faces everywhere
humble folks without temptation
3
00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:17,743
I'm goin out to south park
gonna leave my woes behind
4
00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:21,080
Ample parking day or night
people spouting howdy neighbor
5
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:24,208
I'm heading out to south park
to see if i cant unwind
6
00:00:24,416 --> 00:00:27,545
I like girls with big fat titties
really big fat titties
7
00:00:27,753 --> 00:00:30,880
So come on out to south park
and meet some friends of mine
8
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,120
Episode 10x07
"Tsst"
9
00:00:36,024 --> 00:00:39,566
Mrs. Cartman, we have had it
with your son's behavior, mkay?!
10
00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:43,024
Little Billy Turner is now
being treated at the hospital!
11
00:00:43,072 --> 00:00:45,964
Eric, why would you do such a thing?
12
00:00:46,042 --> 00:00:49,725
I'm sorry I handcuffed Billy Turner's
ankle to the school flagpole.
13
00:00:49,755 --> 00:00:51,369
You know that's not the point!
14
00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:54,442
Okay, I'm sorry I handcuffed
Billy Turner's ankle to a flagpole
15
00:00:54,443 --> 00:00:57,320
and then gave him a hacksaw.
And then told him I had poisoned his lunch milk
16
00:00:57,321 --> 00:01:00,141
and that the only way he could get to the
antidote in time would be to saw through his leg.
17
00:01:00,169 --> 00:01:03,483
That's very naughty, Eric.
- Well he called me chubby!
18
00:01:03,539 --> 00:01:07,289
We have tried at this school to make Eric
understand that there are boundaries, mkay?!
19
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:11,037
But frankly, we believe his
behavioral problems start at home!
20
00:01:11,162 --> 00:01:14,036
I know.
I know he's out of control.
21
00:01:14,037 --> 00:01:16,687
But... you don't know what it's like.
22
00:01:19,911 --> 00:01:24,689
I'm sorry. It's just that...
he seems to get worse every day.
23
00:01:25,217 --> 00:01:28,147
He just never listens.
24
00:01:30,092 --> 00:01:32,800
Well nice goin', asshole!
You made my mom cry!
25
00:01:33,953 --> 00:01:36,842
It's not him, it's you, Eric.
26
00:01:37,335 --> 00:01:39,335
I don't know what to do with you.
27
00:01:39,373 --> 00:01:41,765
Sure you do.
You're a great mom.
28
00:01:41,790 --> 00:01:44,970
Who's got the greatest mom in the world?
I do.
29
00:01:45,137 --> 00:01:48,417
My mom is number one in my heart.
It's true!
30
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:51,181
My mom's the best mom,
better than your mom.
31
00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:54,168
It's singing together in harmony.
32
00:01:54,251 --> 00:01:57,084
Mrs. Cartman,
I know this is extremely difficult
33
00:01:57,126 --> 00:02:00,006
but there is help out there for people like you.
34
00:02:00,506 --> 00:02:04,575
Have you ever heard of a show called Nanny 911?
35
00:02:07,824 --> 00:02:10,268
They're every parent's worst nightmare.
36
00:02:10,451 --> 00:02:12,380
Shut up!
I hate you! I hate you!
37
00:02:12,421 --> 00:02:14,699
Kids completely out of control.
38
00:02:14,942 --> 00:02:17,123
Look, I'm skating, I'm skating!
39
00:02:17,401 --> 00:02:20,137
It's time to call Nanny 911.
40
00:02:22,102 --> 00:02:26,491
We've gathered a team of world-class
nannies to help families in crisis.
41
00:02:28,303 --> 00:02:31,275
Parents of America, help is on the way!
42
00:02:31,914 --> 00:02:35,424
Tonight...
- Mom, I need another energy drink!
43
00:02:35,438 --> 00:02:38,758
This eight year old son of
a single parent just won't behave.
44
00:02:38,846 --> 00:02:41,374
Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten!
45
00:02:41,416 --> 00:02:44,985
And Nanny Stella is selected
to set him straight.
46
00:02:45,542 --> 00:02:51,306
It's time for Nanny Stella to show Eric Cartman
his ways are not going to be tolerated anymore!
47
00:02:56,539 --> 00:02:59,330
Mom, are you deaf?!
Somebody's at the door!
48
00:02:59,622 --> 00:03:02,261
Yes. I think it's the nanny, boopsiekins.
49
00:03:02,525 --> 00:03:04,652
Killer. I'm gonna be on TV now.
50
00:03:05,305 --> 00:03:07,291
Hello.
I'm Nanny Stella.
51
00:03:07,375 --> 00:03:09,675
Oh, thank you so much for coming.
Please come in.
52
00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:13,220
And you must be Eric.
53
00:03:13,306 --> 00:03:15,984
Mom, I want a Twinkie.
- All, all right dear.
54
00:03:16,081 --> 00:03:20,392
Hold on, Mrs. Cartman. There are going to be
some rule changes around here, Eric.
55
00:03:20,448 --> 00:03:23,892
First of all, no video games
until chores are done.
56
00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:26,448
Hah! Hahahaha!
57
00:03:26,615 --> 00:03:30,087
I'm serious. Let's put down the video game
and go to the kitchen.
58
00:03:30,114 --> 00:03:32,004
No thanks, I'd rather naught.
59
00:03:32,017 --> 00:03:34,283
Right. Then I'm going to have to take it.
60
00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:37,147
The hell do you think you're doing?
- Come on.
61
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:42,081
This video game is going right here on
the counter until we've done some chores.
62
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:45,276
Now, first thing we're going
to do is make your bed.
63
00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:48,817
Eric, no!
This is not acceptable!
64
00:03:49,053 --> 00:03:51,217
Stop trying to bogart my X-Box, you fat bitch!
65
00:03:51,461 --> 00:03:54,433
All right, that's it!
You're going to time-out!
66
00:03:54,864 --> 00:03:55,582
Time out?
67
00:03:55,725 --> 00:04:00,211
Whenever you are naughty, Eric, you are
going to sit on this stool for five minutes.
68
00:04:01,506 --> 00:04:03,909
And what exactly keeps me on the stool?
69
00:04:04,229 --> 00:04:07,784
It's the time-out stool.
You can't get down until the time is up.
70
00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:12,098
Whoa, how did I do that?
71
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,701
Eric, you have to stay in time-out!
72
00:04:16,951 --> 00:04:18,284
Ummm, no?
73
00:04:18,437 --> 00:04:20,409
Come on, you don't have a choice.
74
00:04:20,881 --> 00:04:22,860
All right, seriously,
you're starting to piss me off now.
75
00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:26,054
Eric, you need to listen to me.
This is very important.
76
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:30,431
I am getting down to eye level with Eric
so that I can talk to him on his level.
77
00:04:30,528 --> 00:04:34,445
Eric, you need to understand why
you are being punished. All right?
78
00:04:34,598 --> 00:04:36,403
I'm just gonna get down as soon as you move.
79
00:04:36,445 --> 00:04:39,486
Well then, I'll just have to stand right here!
80
00:04:41,264 --> 00:04:41,931
Oh!
81
00:04:42,778 --> 00:04:44,711
He spit in my mouth!
82
00:04:44,808 --> 00:04:47,308
Yeah, it's best to avoid his level.
83
00:04:47,586 --> 00:04:52,174
All right! I've dealt with this before!
We just need to use psychology on him!
84
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:57,021
Don't stop believing.
Hold on to that feeling.
85
00:04:57,049 --> 00:05:00,118
Eric, can I just talk
to you for a quick second?
86
00:05:01,122 --> 00:05:04,386
Why are you so angry?
- Because you took my X-Box.
87
00:05:04,455 --> 00:05:06,663
Is this about more than your video game?
88
00:05:06,719 --> 00:05:10,611
Are you feeling angry at me because
you think I'm here to change your life?
89
00:05:11,431 --> 00:05:12,917
Well, yeah.
90
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:17,070
And you're feeling like I have no right
to come in and tell you how to live.
91
00:05:17,389 --> 00:05:19,062
Yeah. I guess so.
92
00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:23,215
See this? You have to take the time to talk
to your children about their feelings.
93
00:05:23,534 --> 00:05:25,436
What else are you feeling, Eric?
94
00:05:25,854 --> 00:05:30,237
Well, I'm feeling confused, because I don't
understand why you became a nanny.
95
00:05:30,807 --> 00:05:34,779
Me?
Well, it's because I love children, like you.
96
00:05:35,071 --> 00:05:39,237
Right, but... if you love children so much,
how come you're not a mommy?
97
00:05:39,543 --> 00:05:42,886
Oh, I just never had kids.
- Why not?
98
00:05:43,398 --> 00:05:45,874
It... just... didn't happen.
99
00:05:46,481 --> 00:05:48,356
You're sterile, is that it?
100
00:05:48,898 --> 00:05:51,103
No, that's too convenient of an excuse.
101
00:05:51,130 --> 00:05:54,631
The truth is, nobody ever wanted
to have babies with you. Isn't that it?
102
00:05:54,895 --> 00:05:57,021
Always the mom's maid and never the mom?
103
00:05:57,063 --> 00:06:00,021
Must be hard on you,
knowing that the years are ticking away.
104
00:06:00,053 --> 00:06:03,633
Your friends all getting married and all the
while your uterus is slowly shriveling away.
105
00:06:03,768 --> 00:06:06,450
Drying up, becoming totally worthless.
106
00:06:06,686 --> 00:06:11,856
Why you, you... you little bastard!
How dare you?!
107
00:06:11,981 --> 00:06:14,817
Eric, naughty.
- What kind of monster would-
108
00:06:14,818 --> 00:06:17,689
Yes, let the anger come!
Strike me down while you can!
109
00:06:17,748 --> 00:06:20,032
But it won't make your
dried-up ovaries any more fertile!
110
00:06:20,067 --> 00:06:22,151
That's it!
I'm not doing this!
111
00:06:22,178 --> 00:06:23,925
Oh, but we really need some help.
112
00:06:23,945 --> 00:06:27,507
Find yourself another nanny... televison show!
113
00:06:28,626 --> 00:06:31,070
Coming up next, it's Super Nanny!
114
00:06:31,337 --> 00:06:34,115
Where other nannies fail,
Nanny Jo comes through.
115
00:06:44,865 --> 00:06:47,809
This child's behavior is totally unacceptable!
116
00:06:50,258 --> 00:06:52,897
But there's no trial
too tough for Super Nanny!
117
00:06:52,953 --> 00:06:56,620
In just three days' time you're
going to see a new Eric Cartman.
118
00:06:57,588 --> 00:06:59,488
Three Days Later
119
00:06:59,616 --> 00:07:01,616
Slater-Carey Mental Hospital
120
00:07:02,118 --> 00:07:05,564
I'm afraid Super Nanny is in
a deep state of mental psychosis.
121
00:07:05,663 --> 00:07:06,731
What do you mean?
122
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:10,814
I mean, she spends most of her time
sobbing and eating her own excrement.
123
00:07:15,187 --> 00:07:18,631
From heeell!
It's from heeell!
124
00:07:19,881 --> 00:07:24,297
Oh dear. I don't know what else to do
about my son's behavioral problems.
125
00:07:24,324 --> 00:07:27,658
We've been through every
nanny reality show on television.
126
00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:31,270
Wull there... is...
one more show you could still try.
127
00:07:32,531 --> 00:07:33,572
Dog Whisperer
128
00:07:33,592 --> 00:07:37,795
When good dogs go bad,
there's one man who's their best friend.
129
00:07:38,045 --> 00:07:39,350
Cesar Millan.
130
00:07:40,021 --> 00:07:42,243
No dog is too much for me to handle.
131
00:07:42,257 --> 00:07:45,062
I rehabilitate dogs,
I train people.
132
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,674
I am the dog wheesperer.
133
00:07:50,848 --> 00:07:52,667
Please, come in.
134
00:07:53,278 --> 00:07:55,736
So tell me what are the problems
you are having with the child?
135
00:07:55,778 --> 00:07:58,005
Well, he's just... out of control.
136
00:07:58,007 --> 00:08:01,090
I mean, he never listens to me
and he pretty much runs my life.
137
00:08:01,104 --> 00:08:04,618
So the child needs to learn that he's not
the most important person in the house.
138
00:08:04,632 --> 00:08:07,021
You can stop talkin' behind my back,
I'm right here, fruitcake.
139
00:08:07,062 --> 00:08:09,714
See I'm not looking at the child,
I'm not acknowledging the child.
140
00:08:09,715 --> 00:08:11,754
I'm just letting the child know
I'm not interested in him.
141
00:08:12,049 --> 00:08:13,077
Not interested im me?
142
00:08:13,133 --> 00:08:16,424
See the child thinks your world
revolves around him, because it does.
143
00:08:16,466 --> 00:08:18,976
Because everything he does
gets a response from you.
144
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,354
Yeah, well I don't see why-
145
00:08:20,612 --> 00:08:20,985
Hey!
146
00:08:21,015 --> 00:08:22,559
Don't look at the child,
just keep looking at me.
147
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,519
Let, let him know we
are having a conversation.
148
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:25,550
Mom, this guy doesn't-
149
00:08:25,689 --> 00:08:27,734
Ah! Quit it!
- What what is it that you're doing?
150
00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:30,371
Dogs show their dominance
by nipping each other on the neck
151
00:08:30,372 --> 00:08:32,094
but it works equally well on a child.
152
00:08:32,150 --> 00:08:34,742
I just use two fingers, nip at
the child's neck, doesn't hurt the child
153
00:08:34,743 --> 00:08:36,126
just let him know I am dominant.
154
00:08:36,170 --> 00:08:38,489
Look, Mexican,
if you really think that you can-
155
00:08:38,545 --> 00:08:39,531
Knock it off!
156
00:08:40,267 --> 00:08:44,345
See, I'm not validating his bad behavior
with either negative or positive response.
157
00:08:44,373 --> 00:08:45,984
Oh, that's very interesting.
158
00:08:46,012 --> 00:08:48,888
I think the first thing we need to work
on is getting the child some exercise.
159
00:08:48,889 --> 00:08:50,355
He's fat and he has all
this pent-up energy that-
160
00:08:50,356 --> 00:08:52,518
I'm not fat!
- We need to let him burn off.
161
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,366
Do you take walks with your son?
- Well, no, I don't.
162
00:08:55,380 --> 00:08:56,639
Go on, take your son for a walk.
163
00:08:59,236 --> 00:09:01,468
Ey! You think this is funny,
you sonofabitch?
164
00:09:01,746 --> 00:09:03,260
Once again,
I am the one going for a walk.
165
00:09:03,302 --> 00:09:05,815
It's about me,
the child is lucky to come along.
166
00:09:05,857 --> 00:09:07,468
Mom, this is degrading!
167
00:09:08,024 --> 00:09:10,232
Agh! Goddamnit! Aaarrgh!
168
00:09:11,706 --> 00:09:14,988
Don't look at him, just look straight ahead
and he'll run out of evergy soon.
169
00:09:24,234 --> 00:09:29,067
Maaaa. Mommm.
Mommm.
170
00:09:29,747 --> 00:09:31,470
Here, why don't you try it now.
Take your son.
171
00:09:31,553 --> 00:09:33,689
Mom, seriously, people are seeing me!
172
00:09:33,730 --> 00:09:36,536
Good. Just keep your confidence,
shoulders back, eyes straight ahead.
173
00:09:36,981 --> 00:09:38,299
The child can pick up on that confidence
174
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:40,439
learning he's supposed to follow you,
not lead you.
175
00:09:40,494 --> 00:09:43,494
Mom, don't you love me?
Can't you see I'm unhappy right now?
176
00:09:44,295 --> 00:09:44,906
Mom!
177
00:09:44,989 --> 00:09:47,128
Good, Ms. Cartman.
Very good!
178
00:09:48,969 --> 00:09:51,691
And now, back to the Dog Whispererrrrr.
179
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:56,038
It is important to understand
that dogs run in packs.
180
00:09:56,177 --> 00:10:00,329
And one dog is always dominant,
the pack leader.
181
00:10:00,412 --> 00:10:01,994
God damnit, stop ignoring me!
182
00:10:01,995 --> 00:10:06,174
You must assert yourself as
pack leader with dominant energy.
183
00:10:06,175 --> 00:10:07,078
Ah allright.
184
00:10:07,161 --> 00:10:10,494
This is abuse!
I am a child, and I am entitled to attention!
185
00:10:11,272 --> 00:10:12,205
Quit it, mom!
186
00:10:12,455 --> 00:10:14,552
It doesn't seem to work as well when I do it.
187
00:10:14,608 --> 00:10:17,775
Okay, let me show you how
to express the dominant energy.
188
00:10:18,191 --> 00:10:21,650
What I have done is I have brought
over some Kentucky Fried Chicken.
189
00:10:22,029 --> 00:10:23,085
Ooo, Colonel?
190
00:10:23,182 --> 00:10:26,335
I am going to eat first,
because that is what the pack leader does.
191
00:10:26,362 --> 00:10:28,557
Give, give me the chicken.
Give me some chicken.
192
00:10:28,897 --> 00:10:31,050
Eh, what are you doing?
I want chicken!
193
00:10:31,092 --> 00:10:32,287
Give me some Goddamned chicken!
194
00:10:32,315 --> 00:10:36,482
I am not going to acknowledge the child's
attempt at aggressive dominant behavior.
195
00:10:36,509 --> 00:10:38,017
Now you eat the chicken.
196
00:10:38,350 --> 00:10:40,544
Mom, gimme, give me some chicken.
I want some chicken, Mom!
197
00:10:40,589 --> 00:10:43,725
We won't reward him until he's
in a calm submissive behavior.
198
00:10:43,836 --> 00:10:45,669
Goddamnit, I am not a dog!
199
00:10:45,739 --> 00:10:48,670
Give me the chicken. Give, give, give me
the chicken. I want the chicken! Chicken!
200
00:10:50,641 --> 00:10:53,476
We need him to become relaxed and submissive.
201
00:10:54,448 --> 00:10:57,860
Okay, I'm fine. I'm cool now.
May I have some chicken please?
202
00:10:57,929 --> 00:10:59,610
Oh, very good, sweetie.
203
00:10:59,637 --> 00:11:03,415
Oh no, now he's lying. You can tell from
his stance he's still aggressive-dominant.
204
00:11:03,498 --> 00:11:06,401
Suck my asshole, taco vendor!
- See?
205
00:11:06,498 --> 00:11:10,316
Goddamnit, you can't stand here and eat
KFC in front of me! Now hand it over!
206
00:11:10,454 --> 00:11:11,634
You can't do that to me, I-
207
00:11:11,644 --> 00:11:12,677
Goddamnit, you just can't-
208
00:11:12,803 --> 00:11:14,908
Seriously!
Ey? Eh...
209
00:11:17,835 --> 00:11:20,654
I am not being aggressive,
I am being dominant.
210
00:11:20,696 --> 00:11:22,599
Wow, I have a lot to learn.
211
00:11:23,696 --> 00:11:25,951
Mom, I am serious!
This has gone on long enough!
212
00:11:25,992 --> 00:11:28,395
Get that guy out of here
and give me a piece of chicken!
213
00:11:30,048 --> 00:11:31,889
That's how you want it, bitch?!
Fine!
214
00:11:32,808 --> 00:11:34,808
I hate you!
I'm running away!
215
00:11:35,686 --> 00:11:36,908
Oh, dear.
216
00:11:36,922 --> 00:11:39,047
It's okay, this is all part
of the domance struggle.
217
00:11:39,089 --> 00:11:42,019
But what if he does run away.
- Let him go. He'll be back.
218
00:11:42,061 --> 00:11:45,300
This a good opportunity for you to relax
and enjoy your favorite hobby.
219
00:11:47,573 --> 00:11:49,661
Oh boy, Park Avenue!
I'm rich!
220
00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:53,809
Hey guys, I've got some pretty big news.
221
00:11:55,226 --> 00:11:56,490
I ran away from home.
222
00:11:57,754 --> 00:12:00,957
Yeah, my mom just... doesn't care
about me anymore, so I moved out.
223
00:12:01,379 --> 00:12:04,558
She didn't even try to stop me.
It's gonna be tough livin' on my own.
224
00:12:04,816 --> 00:12:06,371
But I'll get by, somehow.
225
00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:07,982
You can't stay here.
226
00:12:08,051 --> 00:12:10,038
Maybe you didn't hear me!
I ran away!
227
00:12:10,065 --> 00:12:12,159
I don't have anywhere to sleep!
I'm out on the street!
228
00:12:12,326 --> 00:12:13,867
You're not staying at my house either.
229
00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:16,868
All right, that's fine!
Butters, I'll crash with you.
230
00:12:16,978 --> 00:12:19,534
No, my parents won't let me bring
homeless people home anymore.
231
00:12:20,326 --> 00:12:22,902
Well what do you guys expect me to do?!
Stay at Kenny's house?!
232
00:12:22,957 --> 00:12:25,332
His family's totally poor.
I'm not staying with poor people!
233
00:12:27,363 --> 00:12:29,555
All right, I'll stay with Kenny.
Let's go, man.
234
00:12:29,971 --> 00:12:31,013
Fuck you.
235
00:12:31,568 --> 00:12:35,286
Och! Well, I guess now we see
just how supportive friends can be!
236
00:12:35,609 --> 00:12:37,525
When the chips are down
you won't even lend a hand!
237
00:12:37,567 --> 00:12:39,220
I'll just go sleep on the street somewhere!
238
00:12:39,257 --> 00:12:42,845
Out in the cold! Probably get mugged
and gang-raped by some minorities!
239
00:12:43,504 --> 00:12:45,476
You guys'll be sorry when I turn up dead!
240
00:12:47,198 --> 00:12:49,133
Whoopie! G and R Railroad!
241
00:12:51,822 --> 00:12:55,669
Hey Jimmy. You're not gonna believe
this, but... I ran away from home.
242
00:12:55,891 --> 00:12:59,183
I just... I really need the support
of my best friend right now.
243
00:13:00,771 --> 00:13:02,063
Who is your best friend?
244
00:13:02,507 --> 00:13:04,688
You are, Jimmy!
We've always been best friends.
245
00:13:04,799 --> 00:13:06,188
We know everything about each other.
246
00:13:07,847 --> 00:13:09,778
What's my last name?
247
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,431
Goddamnit!
248
00:13:15,731 --> 00:13:17,856
Craig, dude, I ran away from home.
249
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:21,328
You're the first person I came to.
I knew you'd take me in off the streets.
250
00:13:22,598 --> 00:13:23,668
But I hate you.
251
00:13:25,265 --> 00:13:27,084
Should that really matter at a time like this?
252
00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:35,698
This is bullcrap!
Mom'll break soon. I can outlast her.
253
00:13:40,005 --> 00:13:41,213
All right, I'm back.
254
00:13:41,852 --> 00:13:44,146
Oh Eric, I'm so happy you're home.
255
00:13:44,185 --> 00:13:46,144
Yes, well, hopefully you've
learned your lesson!
256
00:13:46,199 --> 00:13:48,620
I've come back, but there's going
to be some changes around here.
257
00:13:48,675 --> 00:13:51,786
Look what I did, Eric.
I learned how to make Sumie paintings.
258
00:13:51,828 --> 00:13:53,948
I had almost forgotten how artistic I was.
259
00:13:54,008 --> 00:13:55,370
That's super-interesting.
260
00:13:55,397 --> 00:13:58,081
But I've been out living in
the streets for almost four hours!
261
00:13:58,108 --> 00:13:59,386
Make me something to eat.
262
00:13:59,414 --> 00:14:01,525
Cesar...
- How is the painting going?
263
00:14:01,581 --> 00:14:02,747
Aw, Goddamnit!
264
00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:05,442
Oh look it came back.
- Yup, just like you said he would.
265
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,819
What is he still doing here?!
266
00:14:06,861 --> 00:14:09,375
He said he's hungry. What should I do?
- Well let's feed it.
267
00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:15,263
What the hell is this?! Skinless chicken,
boiled vegetables and salad?!
268
00:14:15,305 --> 00:14:16,874
This is just like Auschwitz!
269
00:14:16,944 --> 00:14:20,262
This is more aggressive-dominant behavior.
Don't nurture it.
270
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:22,637
Oh my God.
Bite-size Snickers?
271
00:14:22,803 --> 00:14:25,456
That's it.
I'm calling child-protective services!
272
00:14:27,081 --> 00:14:29,456
Come on, Ms. Cartman,
you must become pack leader.
273
00:14:29,470 --> 00:14:30,401
What do you do?
274
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,336
Eric, if you don't want to eat then
275
00:14:32,350 --> 00:14:34,309
why don't you go brush your teeth
and go to bed?!
276
00:14:34,323 --> 00:14:37,739
Nooo, you're asking him a favor.
Don't ask a favor, dominate!
277
00:14:38,364 --> 00:14:40,325
Mom, I want this guy out of here!
You got it?
278
00:14:40,423 --> 00:14:44,061
If he's not gone, in two minutes,
I will call social services on you!
279
00:14:44,186 --> 00:14:48,209
You project the dominant energy
and he will pick up on it. I promise.
280
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:51,917
Shoulder back, head high,
don't reason with it
281
00:14:51,918 --> 00:14:54,891
don't argue with it, just dominate it.
282
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,303
I am your son
and you will listen to me!
283
00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:58,594
You have no right to-
284
00:14:58,663 --> 00:15:00,580
Mon, know it off!
I'm not gonna stand for th-
285
00:15:01,094 --> 00:15:02,427
Seriously! Mom-
286
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,419
Why are you... doing this?
287
00:15:04,577 --> 00:15:06,883
Mom?!
Mom? Mom...
288
00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:09,674
I did it!
289
00:15:12,194 --> 00:15:15,208
You see?
You're calm, assertive and in control.
290
00:15:20,076 --> 00:15:21,882
Oh... Oh my gosh!
291
00:15:22,146 --> 00:15:24,494
See?
This is the behavior we've been looking for.
292
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,680
This is a relaxed, submissive state.
293
00:15:26,961 --> 00:15:28,669
He's never done this before.
294
00:15:28,697 --> 00:15:31,777
Good. Now you can reward
the behavior with praise and attention.
295
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:35,472
I love you very much, poopsiekins.
You're Mommy's sunshine.
296
00:15:36,916 --> 00:15:38,416
Now you can give him a snack.
297
00:15:41,557 --> 00:15:43,890
Good, this is reeally good.
Now try a command.
298
00:15:43,918 --> 00:15:46,834
Eric, I want you to go upstairs
and brush your teeth.
299
00:15:46,835 --> 00:15:49,854
Then I'll be up to read you a story before bed.
300
00:15:56,906 --> 00:15:59,107
Oh my goodness.
I can't believe it.
301
00:15:59,163 --> 00:16:03,621
This is a great first step, but you're
gonna have to stay firm and confident.
302
00:16:03,677 --> 00:16:06,607
You are the pack leader now.
- I am the pack leader!
303
00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:10,343
Now before you go read your son his story
let's go enjoy a nice quiet cup of tea.
304
00:16:10,371 --> 00:16:12,051
Sounds divine!
305
00:16:12,565 --> 00:16:15,093
Who does she think telling
me to go brush my teeth?!
306
00:16:21,959 --> 00:16:24,584
Jesus. What's happening to me?
307
00:16:29,408 --> 00:16:31,533
So, how is your son doing, Ms. Cartman?
308
00:16:31,588 --> 00:16:33,296
Oh, he's been amazing, Cesar.
309
00:16:33,297 --> 00:16:36,632
He got an A on his last spelling test
and a B+ in history.
310
00:16:36,633 --> 00:16:38,984
He's losing weight
and he's doing what I tell him.
311
00:16:38,989 --> 00:16:39,850
Thats great!
312
00:16:40,058 --> 00:16:42,780
The best part is I'm not letting
him boss me around anymore.
313
00:16:42,808 --> 00:16:44,136
I could have never come out
314
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:47,290
and have a nice lunch on a Saturday
afternoon with a friend before.
315
00:16:47,512 --> 00:16:51,377
Good, Ms. Cartman, sounds like you're treating
your son like a son and not like a friend.
316
00:16:51,474 --> 00:16:55,590
There's just one problem,
he still fights me every step of the way.
317
00:16:55,659 --> 00:16:57,797
I feel like he's doing what I tell him
318
00:16:57,798 --> 00:17:01,558
but that inside he's still
the same angry spoiled child.
319
00:17:01,559 --> 00:17:02,319
Don't worry.
320
00:17:02,375 --> 00:17:06,641
When you correct the behavior, eventually you
will see a change in the personality.
321
00:17:06,828 --> 00:17:09,898
Oh Cesar, I'm so happy to have you in my life.
322
00:17:14,554 --> 00:17:17,137
Guys, listen up.
I really need your help this time.
323
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:20,742
I've thought about it a lot
and I've decided I have to kill my mom.
324
00:17:21,399 --> 00:17:22,593
Kill your mom?
325
00:17:22,704 --> 00:17:26,079
She doesn't let me wear whatever I want anymore.
Things have really gotten out of hand!
326
00:17:26,190 --> 00:17:29,800
My mom must die so I can have a place to live,
but without her trying to run my life.
327
00:17:29,939 --> 00:17:31,925
She's like Hitler with all
the demands she makes.
328
00:17:32,202 --> 00:17:35,394
Dude, have you lost more weight?
- Yes! I've lost almost ten pounds now.
329
00:17:35,408 --> 00:17:38,992
You see what I mean?? I totally know how
it felt to be a Jew in the Holocaust now!
330
00:17:39,019 --> 00:17:41,088
I have to kill my mom.
It's my only way out.
331
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,978
Dude, don't kill your mom.
That's not cool.
332
00:17:43,047 --> 00:17:45,947
She's Hitler! Would you have
killed Hitler if you had the chance?!
333
00:17:46,058 --> 00:17:47,265
All right now, here's the plan.
334
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:49,963
At 9:45 tonight I will sneak out
of my room and leave the house
335
00:17:49,964 --> 00:17:51,342
leaving the back door unlocked.
336
00:17:51,462 --> 00:17:53,839
You guys come into the house at 10:30 p.m. sharp
337
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,641
having given me enough time to get down
to Perkins to be seen by everyone there.
338
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:58,996
And then all four of you
go upstairs to kill my mom.
339
00:17:59,075 --> 00:18:00,494
Dude, we're not killing your mom.
340
00:18:00,652 --> 00:18:02,902
Well I can't kill her.
I'm too obvious a suspect.
341
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:04,798
Now, when you reach her room,
Butters will keep a lookout
342
00:18:04,801 --> 00:18:07,387
while Kenny opens the bedroom door,
Kyle puts a pillow over my mom's head
343
00:18:07,388 --> 00:18:08,908
and Stan shoots her in the face.
344
00:18:08,950 --> 00:18:10,964
Where am I supposed to get a gun?
- Well I don't know.
345
00:18:10,978 --> 00:18:13,283
That's your job, Stan!
Do I have to think of everything here?!
346
00:18:13,331 --> 00:18:14,516
I'm not shooting anybody.
347
00:18:14,557 --> 00:18:16,806
Okay, fine. Butters,
you cover my mom's head with a pillow
348
00:18:16,807 --> 00:18:17,968
and Kyle can shoot her in the face.
349
00:18:18,113 --> 00:18:19,058
No, Cartman!
350
00:18:19,113 --> 00:18:21,616
Oh! Well how about I do everything?!
How does that sound?!
351
00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:23,935
I'll just do everything while you guys
sit here and play video games?!
352
00:18:25,699 --> 00:18:27,282
Fine! I'll do it by myself!
353
00:18:42,337 --> 00:18:46,420
You forced me to do this!
You couldn't just love me as a son.
354
00:18:47,239 --> 00:18:49,864
You just had to humiliate
and degrade me with your rules.
355
00:18:50,316 --> 00:18:52,099
I won't let you dominate my life anymore!
356
00:18:53,357 --> 00:18:54,732
Goodbye, Mother.
357
00:18:58,598 --> 00:18:59,570
Wait.
358
00:19:00,001 --> 00:19:03,584
Maybe I don't have the right to kill my mom.
359
00:19:04,549 --> 00:19:07,102
No! She's my mom,
I can do whatever I want with her!
360
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,310
It's more important that I live the way I want!
361
00:19:09,838 --> 00:19:11,828
She isn't an object you can own.
She's a human being.
362
00:19:11,829 --> 00:19:14,302
She isn't an object you can own.
She's a human being.
363
00:19:14,399 --> 00:19:16,913
No, she's just... out to make you suffer!
364
00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:21,166
Maybe all these changes are good for me.
Maybe...
365
00:19:21,774 --> 00:19:23,444
The world doesn't revolve around me?
366
00:19:25,270 --> 00:19:28,032
Maybe the world doesn't revolve around me.
367
00:19:34,962 --> 00:19:36,865
The world doesn't revolve around me!
368
00:19:36,965 --> 00:19:38,448
Idiot!
369
00:20:03,081 --> 00:20:05,857
Why Eric, you made your own breakfast.
370
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,121
Yeah Mom, it's okay.
It's grapefruit and lean han.
371
00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:10,204
And you're studying before school?
372
00:20:10,315 --> 00:20:13,466
Well, you told me I had to review
my homework before class started.
373
00:20:14,594 --> 00:20:17,473
Oh, Eric. I'm very proud of you.
374
00:20:17,847 --> 00:20:19,758
Tha... thank you?
375
00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:21,105
I love you, sweetie.
376
00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:23,008
'K Mom, you're embarrassing me, jeez.
377
00:20:26,631 --> 00:20:28,812
Cesar. I'm so happy you're back.
378
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,381
How is the child doing?
379
00:20:30,423 --> 00:20:34,119
Oh, he's amazing.
I think the change in personality happened.
380
00:20:34,230 --> 00:20:37,738
He's doing things for himself now
and he seems to be accepting it.
381
00:20:37,739 --> 00:20:40,714
I've lost a best friend,
but I've gained a son.
382
00:20:40,753 --> 00:20:44,653
That's much healthier for him and when he gets
older he'll be able to be your friend too.
383
00:20:44,753 --> 00:20:46,166
You're the best, Cesar.
384
00:20:46,222 --> 00:20:49,083
and to show my gratitude I've got
two tickets for you and me
385
00:20:49,084 --> 00:20:51,381
to see Madame Butterfly this Friday night.
386
00:20:51,456 --> 00:20:54,228
Well no, my work is done.
I've got to get back to Los Angeles.
387
00:20:55,186 --> 00:20:58,227
Oh... But I thought we were becoming friends.
388
00:20:58,325 --> 00:21:01,854
No, not really. You're just a client.
Well, good luck to you. Gotta go.
389
00:21:06,221 --> 00:21:08,772
I cleared up the table, Mom. I'm gonna
go upstairs and make my bed now.
390
00:21:11,968 --> 00:21:16,190
Eric, how would you like to go with me
to see Madame Butterfly Friday night?
391
00:21:16,732 --> 00:21:20,352
No, that's okay. Besides, I told Stan and Kyle
we could work on our science project then.
392
00:21:21,082 --> 00:21:23,943
Well, what if I took you to
Kentucky Fried Chicken afterward?
393
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,853
And then we'll go to Target
and I buy you a Mega Ranger.
394
00:21:30,353 --> 00:21:33,634
Could I... perhaps have...
two Mega Rangers?
395
00:21:34,437 --> 00:21:37,403
Yes, darling.
You can have whatever you want.
396
00:21:45,175 --> 00:21:46,889
Transcipt: spscriptorium
Sync: John Smith aka muter
397
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:48,470
Cya, untill part II of season 10