1
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Okay, children,
this week we are all going to learn about parenting.

2
00:00:42,527 --> 00:00:46,111
I'm going to pair all the boys and girls in class into couples,

3
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:49,268
and give each couple...
an egg

4
00:00:49,303 --> 00:00:54,749
You must care for and look after this egg
just like a baby for one full week.

5
00:00:54,784 --> 00:00:58,872
If you break your egg,
it means you have a dead baby,

6
00:00:58,907 --> 00:01:02,053
and if you kill your baby, you get an F.

7
00:01:02,352 --> 00:01:06,174
When I announce your names, please move
and sit with the person you're paired with.

8
00:01:06,236 --> 00:01:08,569
Heidi, you'll be with Eric.

9
00:01:08,604 --> 00:01:09,654
Awwww.

10
00:01:09,689 --> 00:01:11,934
Annie, you'll be a family with Timmy.

11
00:01:11,969 --> 00:01:12,889
Timmay!

12
00:01:12,924 --> 00:01:15,013
Milly, your husband is Craig.

13
00:01:15,048 --> 00:01:17,641
- Powder, you and Kenny are a loving couple now.
- Oh no, dude, he's gonna put me with Wendy.

14
00:01:17,676 --> 00:01:20,844
- Aaand let's see who else we have here, uh...
- So, I haven't even spoken to Wendy since we broke up.

15
00:01:20,879 --> 00:01:24,891
And, Wendy?
Wendy will be with Kyle.

16
00:01:25,531 --> 00:01:26,825
Kyle ?

17
00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:28,791
Bebe, you're paired up with Stan.

18
00:01:28,826 --> 00:01:32,972
Lola and Token, Red and Craig,
and Esther and Bradley.

19
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Now, I'm going to sign each of your eggs myself,

20
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so that we'll know it's the same one at the end of the week.

21
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That way if anybody cheats and tries
to replace their eggs, we'll know, Eric

22
00:01:44,795 --> 00:01:50,626
All you have to do is make it to Friday with your
egg unharmed to prove what great little parents you are.

23
00:01:51,055 --> 00:01:55,617
Okay children, you can now take the rest of the school
period to decorate your egg however you wish.

24
00:01:55,652 --> 00:02:00,327
Good luck, and remember,
a dead baby means an F for the parents.

25
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Just look at all these little families

26
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Newfound couples in a happy home.

27
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It takes me back to another time

28
00:02:16,877 --> 00:02:20,521
When I had a love of my own.

29
00:02:20,556 --> 00:02:26,896
Love, love lost long ago,
it was special then, it's over now.

30
00:02:26,931 --> 00:02:33,963
Love, so darn frail, you know?
It shriveled and died. I don't know how.

31
00:02:44,181 --> 00:02:50,377
Love, love lost long ago,
it was special then, it's over now.

32
00:02:50,412 --> 00:02:57,314
Guess that I'll never know
how it all went wrong. How how how?

33
00:02:58,209 --> 00:03:07,721
Well perhaps I should try and boldly go
and rekindle that love lost long ago

34
00:03:15,687 --> 00:03:19,033
Mr. Garrison! Ohoh, Jezuth!

35
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:21,895
Just let me say what I came here to say.

36
00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:27,779
I know we had a falling out and... things were
said that... shouldn't have been said.

37
00:03:27,814 --> 00:03:31,724
I want to apologize for calling you a faggot.

38
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:35,530
That's, that's wonderful, Mr. Garrison!

39
00:03:35,565 --> 00:03:38,208
Well, wait, wait, it gets better.

40
00:03:38,243 --> 00:03:42,397
I've forgiven you for walking out on me after
I had my sex change, and uh...

41
00:03:43,316 --> 00:03:45,661
And I'm ready to take you back, Mr. Slave!

42
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,603
Well, give us a kiss!

43
00:03:50,053 --> 00:03:51,908
Slave, honey, is that the pizza?

44
00:03:59,809 --> 00:04:01,889
What the hell is he doing here?!

45
00:04:01,924 --> 00:04:06,224
Mr. Garrison,
Al and I have been living together for a few months.

46
00:04:06,259 --> 00:04:08,980
Well, that didn't take you long, did it?!

47
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:11,217
Slave, should I leave you two alone?

48
00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:11,906
Yeah.

49
00:04:11,941 --> 00:04:13,193
No!

50
00:04:13,228 --> 00:04:18,896
Mr. Garrison, there's something you should know.
Al and I are getting married.

51
00:04:19,722 --> 00:04:21,123
Married ?

52
00:04:21,158 --> 00:04:22,460
Yes.

53
00:04:22,646 --> 00:04:25,666
You can't get married! You're faggots!

54
00:04:25,701 --> 00:04:28,009
Oh, Jezuth Christh.

55
00:04:28,044 --> 00:04:32,920
Mr. Slave, I am legally a woman now!
If you wanna get married, you have to marry ME!

56
00:04:32,955 --> 00:04:37,740
Oh that's not true! Colorado is about to pass
a bill which allows same-sex marriage.

57
00:04:37,775 --> 00:04:41,103
We're getting married right after the bill passes on Saturday.

58
00:04:41,138 --> 00:04:45,394
Oh, that's just great!
They're gonna let queers and homos get married, huh?!

59
00:04:45,429 --> 00:04:48,898
Okay, that's enough. Out, Mr. Garrison.

60
00:04:48,933 --> 00:04:51,629
We'll just see about this, you fudge-packin' fags!!

61
00:04:51,664 --> 00:04:53,465
I'll stop that gay-marriage law!

62
00:04:53,466 --> 00:04:56,908
Oh my God, you're just saying that because you're jealous.

63
00:04:56,943 --> 00:05:02,657
Jealous of what?! I'm doin' this out of principle!
To protect the sanctity of marriage!

64
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Fags are gettin' married over MY DEAD BODY!!

65
00:05:19,338 --> 00:05:21,444
Hello? Oh hey dude.

66
00:05:21,479 --> 00:05:23,495
So, what are you and Wendy doing?

67
00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:27,051
Oh, we're just makin' a cradle
out of an egg carton for our egg

68
00:05:27,086 --> 00:05:29,385
We figure that way it'll be easier to keep safe so we can get an A.

69
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Uh huh...

70
00:05:30,318 --> 00:05:33,372
I don't think it's gonna be that hard to keep it from breaking.
This whole assignment is stupid.

71
00:05:33,407 --> 00:05:35,013
Yeah, well, so is your hat

72
00:05:43,203 --> 00:05:45,465
Stan, I need you to watch the egg for a while.

73
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:46,503
I can't. I'm busy.

74
00:05:46,538 --> 00:05:49,673
I've been looking after it all day.
I have to go to the hair salon and the candy store!

75
00:05:50,126 --> 00:05:51,519
...So take it with you!

76
00:05:51,554 --> 00:05:54,070
Stan, this is our egg.
We're both supposed to take care of it.

77
00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:56,435
Well maybe I didn't want to have an egg with you,
okay Bebe?!

78
00:05:57,184 --> 00:05:59,814
Well whether you wanted to or not doesn't really matter now!

79
00:05:59,849 --> 00:06:02,581
We're going to get graded together!
It's your egg too!

80
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Own up to your responsibilities!

81
00:06:17,661 --> 00:06:22,183
These homosexuals think they can just step all over our traditions!

82
00:06:22,218 --> 00:06:27,523
Well I say: Marriage is a holy sacrament
between a man and a woman!

83
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Who is that lady?

84
00:06:30,881 --> 00:06:32,914
I don't know, but she is pissed.

85
00:06:32,949 --> 00:06:35,431
They passed this law behind our back!

86
00:06:35,466 --> 00:06:39,944
We need to tell the governor and the
world that gay marriage is not okay!

87
00:06:39,979 --> 00:06:42,962
That homosexuals cannot muddy our traditions!

88
00:06:42,997 --> 00:06:47,990
And there is only one way for us, all together,
to make that messeage very clear!

89
00:06:48,025 --> 00:06:52,488
We need to round up three or four queers
and beat the livin' hell out of them!

90
00:06:54,767 --> 00:07:01,039
Come on, everybody! Let's get some queers, and some
trucks, and have us a good old-fashioned fag drag!

91
00:07:01,762 --> 00:07:07,898
Well uh, we were thinkin' we would, you know,
just go appeal to the Governor

92
00:07:07,933 --> 00:07:12,589
Appeal to the Governor? Oh,come on!
Where's your balls?! Fag drag!

93
00:07:12,624 --> 00:07:17,680
We don't "hate" homosexuals, we, we
we just don't want them to be able to marry.

94
00:07:17,715 --> 00:07:22,270
Yeah, we were just thinkin' o' goin' and
askin' the Governor to veto the bill.

95
00:07:22,305 --> 00:07:23,591
Yeah !

96
00:07:24,949 --> 00:07:27,034
Eh fah, fag drag?

97
00:07:29,529 --> 00:07:36,493
Governor, we have collected over one thousand signatures
requesting that you veto this gay-marriage bill!

98
00:07:36,528 --> 00:07:38,804
Oh jeez, I knew this would happen.

99
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First the gay people come in here wanting equal rights,

100
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then this bill gets passed and now all the people
against it want me to veto it

101
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Why do I have to make this decision??

102
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Because you're the governor?

103
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I just wanted a big house and lots of respect.
I didn't want this kind of responsibility

104
00:07:56,785 --> 00:08:02,900
I mean, I don't know anything about gay marriage.
What argument can I use to deny them their right to a family?

105
00:08:02,935 --> 00:08:04,589
Well, think of the children!

106
00:08:04,624 --> 00:08:09,252
If you allow gays to get married, then you're
also givin' them full rights as parents to adopt.

107
00:08:09,287 --> 00:08:11,719
You think kids can be raised by queers??

108
00:08:11,754 --> 00:08:16,500
I can't use that argument. There's never been a
study done which proves that either way.

109
00:08:18,301 --> 00:08:26,356
But, if you had such a study, a scientific study which
proved same-sex couples are incapable of raising a child...

110
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Then I would have something to fall back on.
So-something to take all the pressure off of me.

111
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Mr. Governor, I will get you that study.

112
00:08:38,254 --> 00:08:39,945
Hey Wendy, how's your egg doing?

113
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Oh great. It's a pretty easy project.
Kyle's really good with the egg.

114
00:08:45,563 --> 00:08:47,228
I wish I had a partner like Kyle!

115
00:08:47,263 --> 00:08:51,021
I went to go pick up the egg from Stan yesterday,
and his dog had it in its mouth!

116
00:08:51,056 --> 00:08:53,156
Our egg isn't gonna last a week with Stan around!

117
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:56,016
Okay, students, change of plan!

118
00:08:56,631 --> 00:09:01,825
You've all been doing a great job taking care of your eggs,
but now we're going to mix it up a little.

119
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Wendy and Kyle will no longer be together.

120
00:09:05,775 --> 00:09:11,402
Let's see what happens when we put two same-sex
couples together to take care of an egg, shall we?!

121
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Kyle, you are now with Stan!
And Wendy is with Bebe!

122
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:16,274
Why ?

123
00:09:17,546 --> 00:09:21,046
Come on, Bebe.
We'll take your egg for you and Wendy to look after.

124
00:09:21,081 --> 00:09:21,629
Oh goodie.

125
00:09:21,664 --> 00:09:24,520
And we'll just take this egg for Stan and Kyle to look out for.

126
00:09:24,555 --> 00:09:26,028
No. No, that's my egg.

127
00:09:26,063 --> 00:09:28,145
Wendy, we're doing an experiment.

128
00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:29,818
Here you go, boys.

129
00:09:29,853 --> 00:09:34,216
But I made that egg. Mr. Garrison, please.
Youyou can't give my egg to Stan, he'll break it.

130
00:09:34,251 --> 00:09:40,526
Hoh now, what makes you say that, Wendy?
I'm sure two boys can handle an egg just fine...

131
00:09:41,091 --> 00:09:45,516
And if not, we'll certainly prove a point
to that goddamned Govermor, won't we?

132
00:09:46,650 --> 00:09:47,267
Who ?

133
00:09:47,302 --> 00:09:53,564
Never mind, just carry on, children.
Just carry on as two reckless little boys will.

134
00:09:58,712 --> 00:10:02,046
Okay, there. Now we can carry this egg around
in this case without it getting cracked.

135
00:10:02,081 --> 00:10:03,892
All right, give it to me. I'll take it home tonight.

136
00:10:03,927 --> 00:10:06,504
Look, Stan, you want me to just take care of this egg?

137
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:07,810
Why do you say that?

138
00:10:07,845 --> 00:10:13,659
It's just that... I really need this A, Stan.
And Bebe did say you almost broke your last egg.

139
00:10:13,694 --> 00:10:15,186
That's because I was pissed off!

140
00:10:15,187 --> 00:10:15,793
At who?

141
00:10:16,188 --> 00:10:17,648
Hang on.

142
00:10:20,826 --> 00:10:22,067
I wanna see my egg.

143
00:10:22,102 --> 00:10:22,670
Huh?

144
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,852
I want to see my egg.

145
00:10:24,887 --> 00:10:27,819
Wendy, it isn't your egg anymore!

146
00:10:27,854 --> 00:10:30,423
Yes it is. I made it, I decorated it.

147
00:10:30,458 --> 00:10:33,510
Well, you might have made it, but we're
the ones who are taking care of it now.

148
00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:34,935
You have your own egg to look out for!

149
00:10:34,970 --> 00:10:37,711
...I just wanna hold my egg for a couple of minutes.

150
00:10:37,746 --> 00:10:39,335
Wendy, I just wanna get an A, okay?

151
00:10:39,370 --> 00:10:41,767
Let's not make this any more confusing than it already is

152
00:10:43,192 --> 00:10:45,782
Don't let anything happen to it, please.

153
00:10:46,922 --> 00:10:50,805
Wendy, nothing's gonna happen to the egg.
You can have it when the week is over and I have my grade.

154
00:10:52,681 --> 00:10:54,151
Freakin' weirdos, man.

155
00:10:54,966 --> 00:10:57,379
You think you're sooo great, don't you?!
Well guess what?!

156
00:10:57,414 --> 00:10:59,206
Maybe I don't need your help!

157
00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:00,514
I'm taking the egg home tonight,

158
00:11:00,549 --> 00:11:04,195
and I'm gonna show everybody tomorrow that
I'm every bit as good a egg-take-care-ofer as you!

159
00:11:07,469 --> 00:11:08,945
What the hell is wrong with everybody?

160
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:17,051
Okay, children, it's Wednesday!
Time for an official egg check! Heidi and Eric?

161
00:11:17,086 --> 00:11:18,177
Our egg is fine.

162
00:11:18,212 --> 00:11:20,647
Okay, Annie and Timmy?

163
00:11:21,420 --> 00:11:24,423
Good. Millie and Clyde, I saw yours before class.

164
00:11:24,458 --> 00:11:25,461
Powder and Kenny?

165
00:11:26,502 --> 00:11:29,710
Now how about our gay couples?
Stan and Kyle?

166
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:31,134
Fine!

167
00:11:32,019 --> 00:11:32,697
What?

168
00:11:32,732 --> 00:11:34,442
No problems at all!

169
00:11:34,477 --> 00:11:36,474
That's impossible!

170
00:11:37,344 --> 00:11:40,649
Are you sure you didn't break it and switch eggs on me?!
Where's my signature?!

171
00:11:40,684 --> 00:11:42,534
It's right there, see?

172
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:45,672
Two boys can't possibly take care of an egg!

173
00:11:45,707 --> 00:11:47,058
Dude, it's totally fine.

174
00:11:47,093 --> 00:11:50,683
It isn't fine! It has two daddies!
You call that fine?!

175
00:11:50,718 --> 00:11:54,728
It may be fine on the outside,
but inside it's confused and embarrassed!

176
00:11:54,763 --> 00:11:57,691
Look at the freak egg! It has two daddies!

177
00:11:57,726 --> 00:12:00,313
Two daaadies! Two daaadies!

178
00:12:00,348 --> 00:12:05,509
Come on, class, let's rip on the freek egg!
Two daaadies! Two daaadies!

179
00:12:05,544 --> 00:12:09,579
Tom, I'm standing outside the Governor's office,
where in just two days,

180
00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:13,678
the Governor can either sign or veto
the new bill allowing gay marriage.

181
00:12:13,713 --> 00:12:16,750
Same-sex couples from all over the state
have shown up in support,

182
00:12:16,785 --> 00:12:21,212
while dissenters have also converged.
The governor is about to give a statement.

183
00:12:22,024 --> 00:12:27,295
I believe that I might have come up with a compromise
to this whole problem that will make everyone happy!

184
00:12:27,422 --> 00:12:34,638
People in the gay community want the same rights as married
couples, but dissenters don't want the word "marriage" corrupted.

185
00:12:34,673 --> 00:12:39,178
So how about we let gay people get married,
but call it something else?

186
00:12:40,405 --> 00:12:45,037
You homosexuals will have all the exact
same rights as married couples,

187
00:12:45,072 --> 00:12:51,059
but instead of refering to you as "maarriied,"
you can be... butt buddies.

188
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:57,934
Instead of being "man and wife,"
you'll be... butt buddies.

189
00:12:58,902 --> 00:13:04,234
You won't be "betrothed,"
you'll be... butt buuuddies. Get it?

190
00:13:04,269 --> 00:13:09,284
Instead of a "bride and groom,"
you'd be... butt buddies.

191
00:13:09,319 --> 00:13:11,428
We wanna be treated equally!

192
00:13:11,463 --> 00:13:12,486
Y-you are equal.

193
00:13:12,521 --> 00:13:18,013
It's just that instead of getting "engaged,"
you would be... butt buuuddies.

194
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,871
And everyone is happy!

195
00:13:19,906 --> 00:13:21,822
Well what about lesbians?!

196
00:13:21,857 --> 00:13:24,465
Well like anyone cares about fuckin' dykes.

197
00:13:28,582 --> 00:13:31,054
Oh, God, I was sure that would work.

198
00:13:32,477 --> 00:13:36,285
Damnit, damnit! Stan and Kyle's egg is still doin' fine!

199
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,039
Those little assholes are screwin' up my entire plan!

200
00:13:40,018 --> 00:13:41,124
Yes, what?!

201
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,689
What the hell is this?!

202
00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:49,966
I broke the egg.

203
00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:53,250
You broke your egg??
Uh but you're partnered with a girl.

204
00:13:53,285 --> 00:13:56,229
I tried to cover it up,
tried to put it back together with modeling glue,

205
00:13:56,264 --> 00:14:00,110
tried to seal it with a soldering gun, but, I give up.
I can't hide it, I broke the egg.

206
00:14:01,017 --> 00:14:02,844
Did you tell anyone else about this?

207
00:14:02,879 --> 00:14:03,973
No.

208
00:14:04,008 --> 00:14:06,513
Did you tell your egg partner, Heidi?

209
00:14:06,548 --> 00:14:10,662
No. That's why I'm here.
I think you should still give Heidi an A on the project.

210
00:14:10,697 --> 00:14:13,027
You see, I broke the egg, not her.

211
00:14:13,062 --> 00:14:15,927
And so, I should get an F, and she should get an A,

212
00:14:15,962 --> 00:14:19,314
which means that together the grade
should average out to C minus for both of us.

213
00:14:19,349 --> 00:14:21,020
I can't do that, Eric!

214
00:14:21,055 --> 00:14:24,030
Damnit! I knew you'd say that!
You always have it out for me!

215
00:14:24,065 --> 00:14:28,018
You have to get an A, Eric.
Here: I'll sign this new egg for you.

216
00:14:28,053 --> 00:14:29,836
We'll pretend this never happened, all right?

217
00:14:30,462 --> 00:14:34,696
Just... put on the old hair, color in the same eyes...
There we go, good as new.

218
00:14:34,731 --> 00:14:36,699
Go enjoy the rest of your recess.

219
00:14:40,285 --> 00:14:43,709
Mr. Garrison..., you've never been this cool to me before.

220
00:14:43,744 --> 00:14:46,918
...Okay, well, you're welcome, Eric.
Now, just run along.

221
00:14:49,682 --> 00:14:50,703
...Why are you doing this

222
00:14:50,738 --> 00:14:53,045
Because I'm a nice teacher, all right?

223
00:14:53,938 --> 00:14:55,414
What do you want from me?

224
00:14:55,449 --> 00:14:58,538
Nothing! It's all okay!
Just take your damn egg!

225
00:15:00,349 --> 00:15:01,454
No.

226
00:15:01,489 --> 00:15:04,043
Eric, you've never been anything but a problem for me!

227
00:15:04,078 --> 00:15:07,474
You're taking that egg! And if you break it again,
I'll break both your legs,

228
00:15:07,509 --> 00:15:09,485
and burn down your house!
Do you hear me?!

229
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:10,402
Yes, teacher.

230
00:15:10,437 --> 00:15:12,170
Get out of my face!

231
00:15:14,149 --> 00:15:17,316
Urrgh, this scentific study isn't turning out the way I planned!

232
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:21,017
Looks like I'm gonna have to... intervene.

233
00:15:27,808 --> 00:15:29,174
Are you Jakartha?

234
00:15:29,209 --> 00:15:30,694
Who the hell are you?!

235
00:15:30,729 --> 00:15:34,407
Mrs. Garrison.
I spoke to your associates on the telephone.

236
00:15:34,442 --> 00:15:39,155
Ahh yes, you are interested in my services.

237
00:15:39,190 --> 00:15:44,723
I  have a little... problem I need taken care of.
I heard you're the best

238
00:15:44,758 --> 00:15:47,661
Who do you want me to kill?

239
00:15:54,741 --> 00:15:56,199
What is this?

240
00:15:56,234 --> 00:15:57,957
It's an egg.

241
00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:00,471
You want me to kill an egg?

242
00:16:00,506 --> 00:16:03,614
I can pay two thousand now,
three more when the job is finished.

243
00:16:03,649 --> 00:16:06,168
What do you expect me to do with it?

244
00:16:06,203 --> 00:16:12,922
I don't care. Scramble it, fry it, do what you will!
It has to look like an accident.

245
00:16:12,957 --> 00:16:16,159
I am a serious assissin! Get out of my face!

246
00:16:17,757 --> 00:16:20,498
What's the matter?
You... afraid you can't do it?

247
00:16:20,533 --> 00:16:24,952
Can't say that I blame ya.
That egg has caused me nothin' but problems since day one!

248
00:16:25,948 --> 00:16:28,624
I guess... you're not as good as they say you are...

249
00:16:29,402 --> 00:16:32,845
I am the greatest killer the world has ever seen!!

250
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,644
Then why are you scared of one little ehhhhgg?!

251
00:16:35,679 --> 00:16:39,539
I will murder that egg!
Then I will make it curse the day it was laid!

252
00:16:39,574 --> 00:16:40,958
That's more like it!

253
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:49,646
Day five. I made it!
Hello?

254
00:16:49,681 --> 00:16:50,957
Dude, did you hear what's happening?

255
00:16:50,992 --> 00:16:51,756
What?

256
00:16:51,791 --> 00:16:53,512
Garrison is taking us all on a field trip today.

257
00:16:53,547 --> 00:16:56,134
He wants to do the final egg check in front of the Governor's office!

258
00:16:56,169 --> 00:16:57,269
Governor's office?

259
00:16:57,304 --> 00:16:59,347
She's really taking this grade seriously, Stan.

260
00:16:59,382 --> 00:17:01,960
I'm gonna come over so that we can take
our egg to school together, all right?

261
00:17:01,995 --> 00:17:05,432
Aah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?!
I took care of this egg, Kyle, not you!

262
00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:08,352
Okay, Stan, you've been an asshole to me all week!
What is up?!

263
00:17:08,387 --> 00:17:08,921
What's up?!

264
00:17:08,956 --> 00:17:12,571
Oh, nothing except that you've been trying to impress
Wendy all week long like a pathetic dickhole!

265
00:17:12,606 --> 00:17:13,712
Impress Wendy??

266
00:17:13,747 --> 00:17:16,901
You've set it all up to look like you're this
awesome prince and I'm just a loser!

267
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,386
What the hell are you talking about?!

268
00:17:18,421 --> 00:17:20,721
Well guess what?!
I'm gonna take this egg to class myself!

269
00:17:20,756 --> 00:17:24,785
And I'm gonna hold it up in front of Wendy, and say
"See?! I'm every bit as good as Kyle is."

270
00:17:27,401 --> 00:17:29,447
Almost too easy.

271
00:17:33,618 --> 00:17:34,836
Stan ?

272
00:17:46,161 --> 00:17:49,005
Stan? Stan, I think we should talk.

273
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,394
Dude, you should just go be with Wendy and be happy.

274
00:17:52,253 --> 00:17:53,375
Stan, I don't like Wendy.

275
00:17:53,410 --> 00:17:55,593
All I cared about was getting an A in this stupid project!

276
00:17:55,628 --> 00:17:59,716
Yeah well, I blew it. Now we're gonna fail
and Wendy thinks I'm a total loser.

277
00:17:59,751 --> 00:18:01,665
I thought you didn't care about Wendy anymore.

278
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,312
I don't. She's totally lame.

279
00:18:04,946 --> 00:18:07,386
Stan, there was never anything between Wendy and I

280
00:18:07,421 --> 00:18:09,921
I wouldn't go out with my best friend's ex-girlfriend.

281
00:18:11,749 --> 00:18:15,919
I'm sorry I didn't trust you, Kyle.
I'm obviously just a crappy best friend to have.

282
00:18:15,954 --> 00:18:18,824
Yyeah well, I-I'm sorry I didn't trust you either.

283
00:18:18,859 --> 00:18:19,753
Huh?

284
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,302
It was really important for me to get an A, Stan.

285
00:18:22,337 --> 00:18:26,069
And Bebe said you were so reckless with your egg,
so I made a fake one for you

286
00:18:26,104 --> 00:18:28,169
and kept the original safe with me.

287
00:18:28,204 --> 00:18:31,617
That...  That's the real egg with Garrison's signature?

288
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:33,059
Yeah dude. I'm sorry.

289
00:18:33,094 --> 00:18:35,270
Then... then Wendy won't think I'm a total loser!

290
00:18:35,305 --> 00:18:37,325
Yeah. And I can still get my A!

291
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:38,556
Come on, buddy, let's go!

292
00:18:39,643 --> 00:18:43,081
Stan...  Do you really think my hat is stupid?

293
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:48,670
As a matter of fact,...
I think it is the nicest hat I've ever known

294
00:18:50,992 --> 00:18:52,118
Come on!

295
00:18:54,791 --> 00:18:59,230
Today is a very big day in which I'm
supposed to make a very big decision.

296
00:18:59,265 --> 00:19:03,589
As some of you know, my biggest issue
with gay marriage regards child-rearing.

297
00:19:03,624 --> 00:19:10,263
And a new study has just been concluded which will give me the
ability to take no personal responsibility in this decision.

298
00:19:10,298 --> 00:19:11,659
A new study?

299
00:19:11,694 --> 00:19:15,530
Here with the results of that study is the lovely Mrs. Garrison

300
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:17,587
Thank you, Governor.

301
00:19:17,921 --> 00:19:20,346
Ogh, Jesuth Christh.

302
00:19:20,347 --> 00:19:23,713
Ladies and Gentlemen, with the help of some
adorable fourth-grade students,

303
00:19:23,748 --> 00:19:30,405
we've completed our scientific, non-biased study of
fags having kids. Come on up, children.

304
00:19:31,752 --> 00:19:36,074
The parents were grouped together as male and female.
As you can see...

305
00:19:36,109 --> 00:19:39,386
Uh, Mrs. Garrison. You have an emergency phone call.

306
00:19:40,372 --> 00:19:42,241
Yes, what is it?! I'm a little busy!

307
00:19:42,276 --> 00:19:45,855
Mr. Garrison, it's Kyle! Our egg is okay!
We'll be there in a couple of minutes!

308
00:19:45,943 --> 00:19:49,432
What?? Y-your... you're too late!

309
00:19:49,467 --> 00:19:51,535
Don't fail us! We'll be right there!

310
00:19:52,017 --> 00:19:56,176
No you can'- Hello? Hello!!
You told me you killed that freak egg!!

311
00:19:56,211 --> 00:19:57,673
I was sure I did!

312
00:19:57,708 --> 00:20:01,598
Well it's here! You'd better make damn sure
it doesn't reach these steps uncracked!

313
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:08,857
Haha, anyhow, as I was saying, we put one egg
into the hands of two male students.

314
00:20:10,946 --> 00:20:11,982
Thanks dude!

315
00:20:12,017 --> 00:20:13,176
There! Over there!

316
00:20:13,747 --> 00:20:15,579
Excuse us! Excuse us please!

317
00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:20,338
Jesus Christ!

318
00:20:20,859 --> 00:20:21,458
Keep running!

319
00:20:22,891 --> 00:20:25,837
The the egg that the two boys were given just-

320
00:20:25,872 --> 00:20:26,968
Hang on! Wait!

321
00:20:31,958 --> 00:20:34,908
In conclusion, Governor, you can rest assured that-!

322
00:20:45,141 --> 00:20:48,587
Teacher, our egg is... okay.

323
00:20:51,485 --> 00:20:55,433
This egg is fine.
Gays can get married!

324
00:20:59,706 --> 00:21:01,975
Noo! Noooo!!

325
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:04,264
Gays can get married? What??

326
00:21:08,576 --> 00:21:11,901
I now pronounce you man... and man.

327
00:21:20,810 --> 00:21:25,111
Boys, I'm really proud of you
You've done an amazing thing for gay marriage rights.

328
00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:26,760
What did we do

329
00:21:26,795 --> 00:21:30,311
Stan, I'm sorry I doubted you.
You really made a great dad.

330
00:21:31,737 --> 00:21:33,597
Like I give a crap about what you think, Wendy.

331
00:21:36,317 --> 00:21:39,070
Transcript : spscriptorium
Sync : aneurysm-