1
00:00:34,530 --> 00:00:40,480
Okay, children, 
this week we are all going to learn about parenting.

2
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:44,504
I'm going to pair all the boys and girls in class into couples, 

3
00:00:44,539 --> 00:00:47,661
and give each couple... 
an egg

4
00:00:47,696 --> 00:00:53,142
You must care for and look after this egg 
just like a baby for one full week.

5
00:00:53,177 --> 00:00:57,265
If you break your egg,
 it means you have a dead baby, 

6
00:00:57,300 --> 00:01:00,446
and if you kill your baby, you get an F.

7
00:01:00,745 --> 00:01:04,567
When I announce your names, please move
 and sit with the person you're paired with.

8
00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,962
Heidi, you'll be with Eric. 

9
00:01:06,997 --> 00:01:08,047
Awwww.

10
00:01:08,082 --> 00:01:10,327
Annie, you'll be a family with Timmy.

11
00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:11,282
Timmay!

12
00:01:11,317 --> 00:01:13,406
Milly, your husband is Craig.

13
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:16,034
- Powder, you and Kenny are a loving couple now.
- Oh no, dude, he's gonna put me with Wendy.

14
00:01:16,069 --> 00:01:19,237
- Aaand let's see who else we have here, uh... 
- So, I haven't even spoken to Wendy since we broke up.

15
00:01:19,272 --> 00:01:23,284
And, Wendy? 
Wendy will be with Kyle.

16
00:01:23,924 --> 00:01:25,218
Kyle ?

17
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,184
Bebe, you're paired up with Stan.

18
00:01:27,219 --> 00:01:31,365
Lola and Token, Red and Craig, 
and Esther and Bradley.

19
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,758
Now, I'm going to sign each of your eggs myself, 

20
00:01:34,793 --> 00:01:37,931
so that we'll know it's the same one at the end of the week.

21
00:01:37,966 --> 00:01:43,153
That way if anybody cheats and tries
 to replace their eggs, we'll know, Eric

22
00:01:43,188 --> 00:01:49,019
All you have to do is make it to Friday with your
 egg unharmed to prove what great little parents you are. 

23
00:01:49,448 --> 00:01:54,010
Okay children, you can now take the rest of the school
 period to decorate your egg however you wish. 

24
00:01:54,045 --> 00:01:58,720
Good luck, and remember, 
a dead baby means an F for the parents.

25
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:08,463
Just look at all these little families

26
00:02:08,498 --> 00:02:11,722
Newfound couples in a happy home.

27
00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:15,235
It takes me back to another time

28
00:02:15,270 --> 00:02:18,914
When I had a love of my own. 

29
00:02:18,949 --> 00:02:25,289
Love, love lost long ago,
 it was special then, it's over now. 

30
00:02:25,324 --> 00:02:32,356
Love, so darn frail, you know?
 It shriveled and died. I don't know how.

31
00:02:42,574 --> 00:02:48,770
Love, love lost long ago,
 it was special then, it's over now. 

32
00:02:48,805 --> 00:02:55,707
Guess that I'll never know
 how it all went wrong. How how how? 

33
00:02:56,602 --> 00:03:06,114
Well perhaps I should try and boldly go 
and rekindle that love lost long ago

34
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,426
Mr. Garrison! Ohoh, Jezuth! 

35
00:03:17,461 --> 00:03:20,288
Just let me say what I came here to say.

36
00:03:20,323 --> 00:03:26,172
I know we had a falling out and... things were
 said that... shouldn't have been said.

37
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:30,117
I want to apologize for calling you a faggot.

38
00:03:31,063 --> 00:03:33,923
That's, that's wonderful, Mr. Garrison! 

39
00:03:33,958 --> 00:03:36,601
Well, wait, wait, it gets better.

40
00:03:36,636 --> 00:03:40,790
I've forgiven you for walking out on me after
 I had my sex change, and uh... 

41
00:03:41,709 --> 00:03:44,054
And I'm ready to take you back, Mr. Slave! 

42
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:47,996
Well, give us a kiss! 

43
00:03:48,446 --> 00:03:50,301
Slave, honey, is that the pizza?

44
00:03:58,202 --> 00:04:00,282
What the hell is he doing here?! 

45
00:04:00,317 --> 00:04:04,617
Mr. Garrison, 
Al and I have been living together for a few months. 

46
00:04:04,652 --> 00:04:07,373
Well, that didn't take you long, did it?! 

47
00:04:07,408 --> 00:04:09,610
Slave, should I leave you two alone? 

48
00:04:09,645 --> 00:04:10,299
Yeah.

49
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:11,586
No!

50
00:04:11,621 --> 00:04:17,289
Mr. Garrison, there's something you should know.
 Al and I are getting married. 

51
00:04:18,115 --> 00:04:19,516
Married ?

52
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,853
Yes.

53
00:04:21,039 --> 00:04:24,059
You can't get married! You're faggots! 

54
00:04:24,094 --> 00:04:26,402
Oh, Jezuth Christh. 

55
00:04:26,437 --> 00:04:31,313
Mr. Slave, I am legally a woman now! 
If you wanna get married, you have to marry ME! 

56
00:04:31,348 --> 00:04:36,133
Oh that's not true! Colorado is about to pass 
a bill which allows same-sex marriage. 

57
00:04:36,168 --> 00:04:39,496
We're getting married right after the bill passes on Saturday.

58
00:04:39,531 --> 00:04:43,787
Oh, that's just great!
They're gonna let queers and homos get married, huh?! 

59
00:04:43,822 --> 00:04:47,291
Okay, that's enough. Out, Mr. Garrison. 

60
00:04:47,326 --> 00:04:50,022
We'll just see about this, you fudge-packin' fags!!

61
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:51,858
I'll stop that gay-marriage law! 

62
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:55,301
Oh my God, you're just saying that because you're jealous. 

63
00:04:55,336 --> 00:05:01,050
Jealous of what?! I'm doin' this out of principle! 
To protect the sanctity of marriage!

64
00:05:01,085 --> 00:05:03,997
Fags are gettin' married over MY DEAD BODY!! 

65
00:05:17,731 --> 00:05:19,837
Hello? Oh hey dude.

66
00:05:19,872 --> 00:05:21,888
So, what are you and Wendy doing? 

67
00:05:21,923 --> 00:05:25,444
Oh, we're just makin' a cradle 
out of an egg carton for our egg

68
00:05:25,479 --> 00:05:27,778
We figure that way it'll be easier to keep safe so we can get an A. 

69
00:05:27,813 --> 00:05:28,676
Uh huh... 

70
00:05:28,711 --> 00:05:31,765
I don't think it's gonna be that hard to keep it from breaking.
 This whole assignment is stupid.

71
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,406
Yeah, well, so is your hat

72
00:05:41,596 --> 00:05:43,858
Stan, I need you to watch the egg for a while. 

73
00:05:43,893 --> 00:05:44,896
I can't. I'm busy. 

74
00:05:44,931 --> 00:05:48,066
I've been looking after it all day.
 I have to go to the hair salon and the candy store!

75
00:05:48,519 --> 00:05:49,912
...So take it with you! 

76
00:05:49,947 --> 00:05:52,463
Stan, this is our egg. 
We're both supposed to take care of it.

77
00:05:52,498 --> 00:05:54,828
Well maybe I didn't want to have an egg with you,
 okay Bebe?! 

78
00:05:55,577 --> 00:05:58,207
Well whether you wanted to or not doesn't really matter now!

79
00:05:58,242 --> 00:06:00,974
We're going to get graded together! 
It's your egg too! 

80
00:06:01,009 --> 00:06:02,647
Own up to your responsibilities! 

81
00:06:16,054 --> 00:06:20,576
These homosexuals think they can just step all over our traditions!

82
00:06:20,611 --> 00:06:25,916
Well I say: Marriage is a holy sacrament 
between a man and a woman!

83
00:06:27,656 --> 00:06:29,239
Who is that lady? 

84
00:06:29,274 --> 00:06:31,307
I don't know, but she is pissed. 

85
00:06:31,342 --> 00:06:33,824
They passed this law behind our back! 

86
00:06:33,859 --> 00:06:38,337
We need to tell the governor and the
 world that gay marriage is not okay! 

87
00:06:38,372 --> 00:06:41,355
That homosexuals cannot muddy our traditions! 

88
00:06:41,390 --> 00:06:46,383
And there is only one way for us, all together,
 to make that messeage very clear!

89
00:06:46,418 --> 00:06:50,881
We need to round up three or four queers 
and beat the livin' hell out of them!

90
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:59,432
 Come on, everybody! Let's get some queers, and some
 trucks, and have us a good old-fashioned fag drag!

91
00:07:00,155 --> 00:07:06,291
Well uh, we were thinkin' we would, you know, 
just go appeal to the Governor

92
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:10,982
Appeal to the Governor? Oh,come on! 
Where's your balls?! Fag drag! 

93
00:07:11,017 --> 00:07:16,073
We don't "hate" homosexuals, we, we 
we just don't want them to be able to marry. 

94
00:07:16,108 --> 00:07:20,663
Yeah, we were just thinkin' o' goin' and
 askin' the Governor to veto the bill. 

95
00:07:20,698 --> 00:07:21,984
Yeah !

96
00:07:23,342 --> 00:07:25,427
Eh fah, fag drag? 

97
00:07:27,922 --> 00:07:34,886
Governor, we have collected over one thousand signatures
requesting that you veto this gay-marriage bill! 

98
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:37,197
Oh jeez, I knew this would happen.

99
00:07:37,198 --> 00:07:40,169
First the gay people come in here wanting equal rights,

100
00:07:40,204 --> 00:07:44,159
then this bill gets passed and now all the people 
against it want me to veto it

101
00:07:44,194 --> 00:07:46,478
Why do I have to make this decision?? 

102
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,484
Because you're the governor? 

103
00:07:49,519 --> 00:07:54,978
I just wanted a big house and lots of respect. 
I didn't want this kind of responsibility

104
00:07:55,178 --> 00:08:01,293
I mean, I don't know anything about gay marriage.
 What argument can I use to deny them their right to a family? 

105
00:08:01,328 --> 00:08:02,982
Well, think of the children!

106
00:08:03,017 --> 00:08:07,645
If you allow gays to get married, then you're
 also givin' them full rights as parents to adopt.

107
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,112
You think kids can be raised by queers?? 

108
00:08:10,147 --> 00:08:14,893
I can't use that argument. There's never been a
 study done which proves that either way.

109
00:08:16,694 --> 00:08:24,749
 But, if you had such a study, a scientific study which 
proved same-sex couples are incapable of raising a child... 

110
00:08:24,784 --> 00:08:29,252
Then I would have something to fall back on. 
So-something to take all the pressure off of me.

111
00:08:30,149 --> 00:08:33,349
Mr. Governor, I will get you that study.

112
00:08:36,647 --> 00:08:38,338
Hey Wendy, how's your egg doing? 

113
00:08:38,373 --> 00:08:42,208
Oh great. It's a pretty easy project.
 Kyle's really good with the egg. 

114
00:08:43,956 --> 00:08:45,621
I wish I had a partner like Kyle! 

115
00:08:45,656 --> 00:08:49,414
I went to go pick up the egg from Stan yesterday, 
and his dog had it in its mouth!

116
00:08:49,449 --> 00:08:51,549
Our egg isn't gonna last a week with Stan around! 

117
00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:54,409
Okay, students, change of plan!

118
00:08:55,024 --> 00:09:00,218
You've all been doing a great job taking care of your eggs,
 but now we're going to mix it up a little. 

119
00:09:00,219 --> 00:09:02,964
Wendy and Kyle will no longer be together. 

120
00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:09,795
Let's see what happens when we put two same-sex
couples together to take care of an egg, shall we?! 

121
00:09:09,830 --> 00:09:13,564
Kyle, you are now with Stan! 
And Wendy is with Bebe!

122
00:09:13,599 --> 00:09:14,667
Why ?

123
00:09:15,939 --> 00:09:19,439
Come on, Bebe. 
We'll take your egg for you and Wendy to look after. 

124
00:09:19,474 --> 00:09:20,022
Oh goodie.

125
00:09:20,057 --> 00:09:22,913
And we'll just take this egg for Stan and Kyle to look out for.

126
00:09:22,948 --> 00:09:24,421
No. No, that's my egg.

127
00:09:24,456 --> 00:09:26,538
Wendy, we're doing an experiment.

128
00:09:26,573 --> 00:09:28,211
Here you go, boys.

129
00:09:28,246 --> 00:09:32,609
But I made that egg. Mr. Garrison, please. 
Youyou can't give my egg to Stan, he'll break it.

130
00:09:32,644 --> 00:09:38,919
 Hoh now, what makes you say that, Wendy? 
I'm sure two boys can handle an egg just fine... 

131
00:09:39,484 --> 00:09:43,909
And if not, we'll certainly prove a point 
to that goddamned Govermor, won't we? 

132
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:45,660
Who ?

133
00:09:45,695 --> 00:09:51,957
Never mind, just carry on, children. 
Just carry on as two reckless little boys will. 

134
00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:59,639
Okay, there. Now we can carry this egg around
 in this case without it getting cracked. 

135
00:09:59,674 --> 00:10:01,485
All right, give it to me. I'll take it home tonight. 

136
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,097
Look, Stan, you want me to just take care of this egg? 

137
00:10:04,132 --> 00:10:05,403
Why do you say that? 

138
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:11,252
It's just that... I really need this A, Stan.
 And Bebe did say you almost broke your last egg. 

139
00:10:11,287 --> 00:10:12,779
That's because I was pissed off! 

140
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:13,386
At who?

141
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,241
Hang on.

142
00:10:18,419 --> 00:10:19,660
 I wanna see my egg. 

143
00:10:19,695 --> 00:10:20,263
Huh?

144
00:10:20,298 --> 00:10:22,445
I want to see my egg. 

145
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,412
Wendy, it isn't your egg anymore! 

146
00:10:25,447 --> 00:10:28,016
Yes it is. I made it, I decorated it. 

147
00:10:28,051 --> 00:10:31,103
Well, you might have made it, but we're
 the ones who are taking care of it now.

148
00:10:31,138 --> 00:10:32,528
You have your own egg to look out for! 

149
00:10:32,563 --> 00:10:35,304
...I just wanna hold my egg for a couple of minutes. 

150
00:10:35,339 --> 00:10:36,928
Wendy, I just wanna get an A, okay?

151
00:10:36,963 --> 00:10:39,360
Let's not make this any more confusing than it already is

152
00:10:40,785 --> 00:10:43,375
Don't let anything happen to it, please.

153
00:10:44,515 --> 00:10:48,398
Wendy, nothing's gonna happen to the egg.
 You can have it when the week is over and I have my grade.

154
00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:51,744
Freakin' weirdos, man. 

155
00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:54,972
You think you're sooo great, don't you?! 
Well guess what?! 

156
00:10:55,007 --> 00:10:56,799
Maybe I don't need your help!

157
00:10:56,834 --> 00:10:58,107
I'm taking the egg home tonight, 

158
00:10:58,142 --> 00:11:01,788
and I'm gonna show everybody tomorrow that
 I'm every bit as good a egg-take-care-ofer as you! 

159
00:11:05,062 --> 00:11:06,538
What the hell is wrong with everybody? 

160
00:11:09,222 --> 00:11:14,644
Okay, children, it's Wednesday! 
Time for an official egg check! Heidi and Eric? 

161
00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:15,770
Our egg is fine. 

162
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:18,240
Okay, Annie and Timmy?

163
00:11:19,013 --> 00:11:22,016
Good. Millie and Clyde, I saw yours before class.

164
00:11:22,051 --> 00:11:23,054
Powder and Kenny? 

165
00:11:24,095 --> 00:11:27,303
Now how about our gay couples? 
Stan and Kyle? 

166
00:11:27,926 --> 00:11:28,727
Fine! 

167
00:11:29,612 --> 00:11:30,290
What? 

168
00:11:30,325 --> 00:11:32,035
No problems at all! 

169
00:11:32,070 --> 00:11:34,067
 That's impossible! 

170
00:11:34,937 --> 00:11:38,242
Are you sure you didn't break it and switch eggs on me?! 
Where's my signature?! 

171
00:11:38,277 --> 00:11:40,127
It's right there, see?

172
00:11:40,162 --> 00:11:43,265
Two boys can't possibly take care of an egg! 

173
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:44,651
Dude, it's totally fine. 

174
00:11:44,686 --> 00:11:48,276
It isn't fine! It has two daddies! 
You call that fine?! 

175
00:11:48,311 --> 00:11:52,321
It may be fine on the outside, 
but inside it's confused and embarrassed!

176
00:11:52,356 --> 00:11:55,284
Look at the freak egg! It has two daddies!

177
00:11:55,319 --> 00:11:57,906
Two daaadies! Two daaadies!

178
00:11:57,941 --> 00:12:03,102
Come on, class, let's rip on the freek egg! 
Two daaadies! Two daaadies! 

179
00:12:03,137 --> 00:12:07,172
Tom, I'm standing outside the Governor's office, 
where in just two days, 

180
00:12:07,173 --> 00:12:11,271
the Governor can either sign or veto 
the new bill allowing gay marriage. 

181
00:12:11,306 --> 00:12:14,343
Same-sex couples from all over the state
 have shown up in support,

182
00:12:14,378 --> 00:12:18,805
 while dissenters have also converged.
 The governor is about to give a statement.

183
00:12:19,617 --> 00:12:24,888
I believe that I might have come up with a compromise
 to this whole problem that will make everyone happy!

184
00:12:25,015 --> 00:12:32,231
People in the gay community want the same rights as married 
couples, but dissenters don't want the word "marriage" corrupted.

185
00:12:32,266 --> 00:12:36,771
So how about we let gay people get married, 
but call it something else?

186
00:12:37,998 --> 00:12:42,630
You homosexuals will have all the exact
 same rights as married couples,

187
00:12:42,665 --> 00:12:48,652
but instead of refering to you as "maarriied," 
you can be... butt buddies.

188
00:12:50,953 --> 00:12:55,527
Instead of being "man and wife," 
you'll be... butt buddies.

189
00:12:56,495 --> 00:13:01,827
You won't be "betrothed,"
 you'll be... butt buuuddies. Get it?

190
00:13:01,862 --> 00:13:06,877
Instead of a "bride and groom," 
you'd be... butt buddies. 

191
00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:09,021
We wanna be treated equally!

192
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,079
Y-you are equal. 

193
00:13:10,114 --> 00:13:15,606
It's just that instead of getting "engaged," 
you would be... butt buuuddies. 

194
00:13:15,641 --> 00:13:17,464
And everyone is happy! 

195
00:13:17,499 --> 00:13:19,415
Well what about lesbians?!

196
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:22,058
Well like anyone cares about fuckin' dykes.

197
00:13:26,175 --> 00:13:28,647
Oh, God, I was sure that would work. 

198
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:33,878
Damnit, damnit! Stan and Kyle's egg is still doin' fine!

199
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:36,632
Those little assholes are screwin' up my entire plan!

200
00:13:37,611 --> 00:13:38,717
Yes, what?! 

201
00:13:44,085 --> 00:13:46,282
What the hell is this?! 

202
00:13:46,317 --> 00:13:47,559
I broke the egg. 

203
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:50,843
You broke your egg?? 
Uh but you're partnered with a girl. 

204
00:13:50,878 --> 00:13:53,822
I tried to cover it up,
 tried to put it back together with modeling glue,

205
00:13:53,857 --> 00:13:57,703
tried to seal it with a soldering gun, but, I give up.
 I can't hide it, I broke the egg. 

206
00:13:58,610 --> 00:14:00,437
Did you tell anyone else about this? 

207
00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:01,566
No.

208
00:14:01,601 --> 00:14:04,106
Did you tell your egg partner, Heidi? 

209
00:14:04,141 --> 00:14:08,255
No. That's why I'm here. 
I think you should still give Heidi an A on the project. 

210
00:14:08,290 --> 00:14:10,620
You see, I broke the egg, not her. 

211
00:14:10,655 --> 00:14:13,520
And so, I should get an F, and she should get an A, 

212
00:14:13,555 --> 00:14:16,907
which means that together the grade 
should average out to C minus for both of us. 

213
00:14:16,942 --> 00:14:18,613
I can't do that, Eric! 

214
00:14:18,648 --> 00:14:21,623
Damnit! I knew you'd say that!
 You always have it out for me! 

215
00:14:21,658 --> 00:14:25,611
You have to get an A, Eric. 
Here: I'll sign this new egg for you.

216
00:14:25,646 --> 00:14:27,429
We'll pretend this never happened, all right?

217
00:14:28,055 --> 00:14:32,289
Just... put on the old hair, color in the same eyes...
 There we go, good as new.

218
00:14:32,324 --> 00:14:34,292
Go enjoy the rest of your recess. 

219
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:41,302
Mr. Garrison..., you've never been this cool to me before. 

220
00:14:41,337 --> 00:14:44,511
...Okay, well, you're welcome, Eric. 
Now, just run along.

221
00:14:47,275 --> 00:14:48,296
...Why are you doing this

222
00:14:48,331 --> 00:14:50,638
Because I'm a nice teacher, all right? 

223
00:14:51,531 --> 00:14:53,007
What do you want from me? 

224
00:14:53,042 --> 00:14:56,131
Nothing! It's all okay! 
Just take your damn egg! 

225
00:14:57,942 --> 00:14:59,047
 No.

226
00:14:59,082 --> 00:15:01,636
Eric, you've never been anything but a problem for me! 

227
00:15:01,671 --> 00:15:05,067
You're taking that egg! And if you break it again,
 I'll break both your legs, 

228
00:15:05,102 --> 00:15:07,078
and burn down your house! 
Do you hear me?! 

229
00:15:07,113 --> 00:15:07,995
Yes, teacher.

230
00:15:08,030 --> 00:15:09,763
Get out of my face!

231
00:15:11,742 --> 00:15:14,909
Urrgh, this scentific study isn't turning out the way I planned!

232
00:15:14,944 --> 00:15:18,610
Looks like I'm gonna have to... intervene. 

233
00:15:25,401 --> 00:15:26,767
Are you Jakartha?

234
00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:28,287
Who the hell are you?! 

235
00:15:28,322 --> 00:15:32,000
Mrs. Garrison.
 I spoke to your associates on the telephone. 

236
00:15:32,035 --> 00:15:36,748
Ahh yes, you are interested in my services. 

237
00:15:36,783 --> 00:15:42,316
I  have a little... problem I need taken care of. 
I heard you're the best

238
00:15:42,351 --> 00:15:45,254
Who do you want me to kill? 

239
00:15:52,334 --> 00:15:53,792
What is this?

240
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,550
It's an egg. 

241
00:15:55,551 --> 00:15:58,064
You want me to kill an egg?

242
00:15:58,099 --> 00:16:01,207
I can pay two thousand now,
 three more when the job is finished. 

243
00:16:01,242 --> 00:16:03,761
What do you expect me to do with it?

244
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:10,515
I don't care. Scramble it, fry it, do what you will! 
It has to look like an accident. 

245
00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:13,752
I am a serious assissin! Get out of my face! 

246
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:18,091
What's the matter? 
You... afraid you can't do it?

247
00:16:18,126 --> 00:16:22,545
Can't say that I blame ya. 
That egg has caused me nothin' but problems since day one!

248
00:16:23,541 --> 00:16:26,217
I guess... you're not as good as they say you are... 

249
00:16:26,995 --> 00:16:30,438
I am the greatest killer the world has ever seen!! 

250
00:16:30,473 --> 00:16:33,237
Then why are you scared of one little ehhhhgg?! 

251
00:16:33,272 --> 00:16:37,132
I will murder that egg!
 Then I will make it curse the day it was laid! 

252
00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:38,551
That's more like it! 

253
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:47,239
Day five. I made it!
 Hello? 

254
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:48,550
Dude, did you hear what's happening? 

255
00:16:48,585 --> 00:16:49,349
What? 

256
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,105
Garrison is taking us all on a field trip today. 

257
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,727
He wants to do the final egg check in front of the Governor's office! 

258
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:54,862
Governor's office? 

259
00:16:54,897 --> 00:16:56,940
She's really taking this grade seriously, Stan. 

260
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:59,553
I'm gonna come over so that we can take
 our egg to school together, all right? 

261
00:16:59,588 --> 00:17:03,025
Aah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?! 
I took care of this egg, Kyle, not you! 

262
00:17:03,026 --> 00:17:05,945
Okay, Stan, you've been an asshole to me all week! 
What is up?! 

263
00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:06,514
What's up?!

264
00:17:06,549 --> 00:17:10,164
Oh, nothing except that you've been trying to impress
 Wendy all week long like a pathetic dickhole! 

265
00:17:10,199 --> 00:17:11,305
Impress Wendy?? 

266
00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:14,494
You've set it all up to look like you're this
 awesome prince and I'm just a loser! 

267
00:17:14,529 --> 00:17:15,979
What the hell are you talking about?! 

268
00:17:16,014 --> 00:17:18,314
Well guess what?! 
I'm gonna take this egg to class myself!

269
00:17:18,349 --> 00:17:22,378
And I'm gonna hold it up in front of Wendy, and say 
"See?! I'm every bit as good as Kyle is." 

270
00:17:24,994 --> 00:17:27,040
Almost too easy.

271
00:17:31,211 --> 00:17:32,429
Stan ?

272
00:17:42,254 --> 00:17:45,098
Stan? Stan, I think we should talk. 

273
00:17:45,133 --> 00:17:47,487
Dude, you should just go be with Wendy and be happy. 

274
00:17:48,346 --> 00:17:49,468
Stan, I don't like Wendy.

275
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,686
All I cared about was getting an A in this stupid project!

276
00:17:51,721 --> 00:17:55,809
Yeah well, I blew it. Now we're gonna fail 
and Wendy thinks I'm a total loser.

277
00:17:55,844 --> 00:17:57,758
I thought you didn't care about Wendy anymore. 

278
00:17:57,793 --> 00:17:59,405
I don't. She's totally lame.

279
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:03,479
Stan, there was never anything between Wendy and I

280
00:18:03,514 --> 00:18:06,014
I wouldn't go out with my best friend's ex-girlfriend. 

281
00:18:07,842 --> 00:18:12,012
I'm sorry I didn't trust you, Kyle. 
I'm obviously just a crappy best friend to have. 

282
00:18:12,047 --> 00:18:14,917
Yyeah well, I-I'm sorry I didn't trust you either. 

283
00:18:14,952 --> 00:18:15,846
Huh?

284
00:18:16,193 --> 00:18:18,395
It was really important for me to get an A, Stan. 

285
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:22,162
 And Bebe said you were so reckless with your egg, 
so I made a fake one for you

286
00:18:22,197 --> 00:18:24,262
and kept the original safe with me. 

287
00:18:24,297 --> 00:18:27,710
That...  That's the real egg with Garrison's signature? 

288
00:18:27,745 --> 00:18:29,152
Yeah dude. I'm sorry. 

289
00:18:29,187 --> 00:18:31,363
Then... then Wendy won't think I'm a total loser! 

290
00:18:31,398 --> 00:18:33,418
Yeah. And I can still get my A!

291
00:18:33,453 --> 00:18:34,649
Come on, buddy, let's go!

292
00:18:35,736 --> 00:18:39,174
Stan...  Do you really think my hat is stupid? 

293
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:44,763
As a matter of fact,... 
I think it is the nicest hat I've ever known

294
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:48,211
Come on!

295
00:18:50,884 --> 00:18:55,323
Today is a very big day in which I'm
 supposed to make a very big decision.

296
00:18:55,358 --> 00:18:59,682
As some of you know, my biggest issue
 with gay marriage regards child-rearing.

297
00:18:59,717 --> 00:19:06,356
And a new study has just been concluded which will give me the
 ability to take no personal responsibility in this decision. 

298
00:19:06,391 --> 00:19:07,752
A new study? 

299
00:19:07,787 --> 00:19:11,623
Here with the results of that study is the lovely Mrs. Garrison

300
00:19:12,290 --> 00:19:13,680
Thank you, Governor. 

301
00:19:14,014 --> 00:19:16,439
Ogh, Jesuth Christh.

302
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,806
Ladies and Gentlemen, with the help of some 
adorable fourth-grade students,

303
00:19:19,841 --> 00:19:26,498
we've completed our scientific, non-biased study of
 fags having kids. Come on up, children. 

304
00:19:27,845 --> 00:19:32,167
The parents were grouped together as male and female. 
As you can see... 

305
00:19:32,202 --> 00:19:35,479
Uh, Mrs. Garrison. You have an emergency phone call. 

306
00:19:36,465 --> 00:19:38,334
Yes, what is it?! I'm a little busy! 

307
00:19:38,369 --> 00:19:41,948
Mr. Garrison, it's Kyle! Our egg is okay! 
We'll be there in a couple of minutes! 

308
00:19:42,036 --> 00:19:45,525
What?? Y-your... you're too late! 

309
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,628
Don't fail us! We'll be right there!

310
00:19:48,110 --> 00:19:52,269
No you can'- Hello? Hello!! 
You told me you killed that freak egg!! 

311
00:19:52,304 --> 00:19:53,766
I was sure I did! 

312
00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:57,691
Well it's here! You'd better make damn sure
 it doesn't reach these steps uncracked!

313
00:19:58,261 --> 00:20:04,950
Haha, anyhow, as I was saying, we put one egg
 into the hands of two male students. 

314
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,075
Thanks dude! 

315
00:20:08,110 --> 00:20:09,269
There! Over there! 

316
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,672
Excuse us! Excuse us please! 

317
00:20:15,441 --> 00:20:16,431
Jesus Christ! 

318
00:20:16,952 --> 00:20:17,551
Keep running!

319
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:21,930
The the egg that the two boys were given just- 

320
00:20:21,965 --> 00:20:23,061
Hang on! Wait!

321
00:20:28,051 --> 00:20:31,001
In conclusion, Governor, you can rest assured that-!

322
00:20:41,234 --> 00:20:44,680
Teacher, our egg is... okay. 

323
00:20:47,578 --> 00:20:51,526
This egg is fine. 
 Gays can get married!

324
00:20:55,799 --> 00:20:58,068
Noo! Noooo!! 

325
00:20:58,103 --> 00:21:00,357
Gays can get married? What?? 

326
00:21:04,669 --> 00:21:07,994
I now pronounce you man... and man.

327
00:21:16,903 --> 00:21:21,204
Boys, I'm really proud of you
 You've done an amazing thing for gay marriage rights.

328
00:21:21,744 --> 00:21:22,853
What did we do

329
00:21:22,888 --> 00:21:26,404
Stan, I'm sorry I doubted you. 
You really made a great dad.

330
00:21:27,830 --> 00:21:29,690
Like I give a crap about what you think, Wendy.

331
00:21:32,410 --> 00:21:35,163
Transcript : spscriptorium
Sync : aneurysm-