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<i>This is our planet. Planet Earth.</i>

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It's a planet I'm literally on right now.

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And unless you're watching this
on a long-haul flight

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or while falling off a building,

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chances are, you are too.

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This is the incredible story of how
humankind transformed our world

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from being a load of pointless nature
like this

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to full of modern things like this,

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and how it did it
using nothing more than its hands

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and its imagination, and also tools,
and electricity, and the Internet.

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<i>It's a journey that will take me
to every corner of the globe</i>

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<i>money and pandemic
travel restrictions would allow.</i>

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<i>Getting up close to some of our species'
most stunning achievements.</i>

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<i>And I'll be asking questions...</i>

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Who are you?

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<i>...to leading academics,
clevernauts and expertists</i>

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<i>who will help me unlock
the mystery of human civilization.</i>

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Why do they say it's a mystery
how the pyramids were built

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when it's obviously just
big bricks in a triangle?

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This is not just the story
of the planet we live in.

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This is the story of the world we live on.
Or both.

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<i>So join me, Philomena Cunk,</i>

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<i>for a landmark look
at the world we built together.</i>

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This is <i>Cunk on Earth!</i>

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<i>For billions of years,
there was no civilization on Earth.</i>

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<i>Just animals, plants and gases
getting on and mingling.</i>

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<i>Must have been beautiful, but also boring.</i>

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Until along came a creature that would
change all that: human man.

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Was early man similar to us?

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I mean, was he made out of
the same sort of meat that we are?

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You know, was it... Did it have
a brand name like beef or pork?

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Far as we can tell, they were made
out of the same stuff as us.

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All we have is bones, of course.
And they're exactly the same as our bones.

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We can only assume that the bones were
encased in flesh, something like ours.

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But I'm not aware of any kind of
brand name that they would have had.

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- So it would have just been flesh?
- Just flesh, I think, yes.

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It would be hard to come up with
a brand name for human flesh, wouldn't it?

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Horfe?

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We often assume early men were stupid

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because they had big eyebrows
and said "ugg."

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But in fact,
they were pioneering inventerers.

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<i>They were the first men to use tools,</i>

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<i>which is something most men
have forgotten how to do today,</i>

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<i>which is why they have to get
someone in, a real man.</i>

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How did early man make tools
whilst walking on all fours?

46
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Well, we don't think that
they walked on all fours for too long.

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We're pretty sure
they were walking upright

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for at least the last two million years.

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So did they make the tools
with their front legs or their hind legs?

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I don't think humans have ever been good
at making things with their feet.

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So, yes, it would have been the front legs
they used for making tools.

52
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Right. So in leg terms,
it would have been their top legs.

53
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Yes, I think they would certainly have
used the "top legs" for making tools,

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or arms and hands, as we call them today.

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<i>One thing they did invent was fire,</i>

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<i>which allowed them to see at night
and kept them warm,</i>

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<i>tragically prolonging
their already tedious lives.</i>

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But they had to invent something to do
during the long, boring evenings.

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And that something was art.

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<i>I'm entering a cave, not by mistake
or because I'm a wolf,</i>

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<i>but because I've been specifically asked
to come here by the producers,</i>

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<i>to look at cave art.</i>

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Cave paintings like these

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are one of the first examples
of civilization on Earth.

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Don't worry, it gets better.

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<i>Early cave artists started out painting
whatever was close to hand,</i>

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<i>like their hands.</i>

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<i>Then they branched out into stories.</i>

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<i>Initially, just boring stories
about cows standing still.</i>

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But soon they began creating
white-knuckle fight scenes like this:

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Humans Versus Cows 2D.

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To a caveman, this was the thrilling
equivalent of <i>Fast and Furious Part 7.</i>

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Have any of the cave paintings
been adapted into films?

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Suppose they couldn't get the rights
anyway, though, could they?

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Filmmaking obviously arose much, much
later than the end of the cave paintings.

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So there hasn't been a cave wall
that's been like,

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"Oh my God, that's an incredible story."

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"We need to get Steven Spielberg
to make this."

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It would be hard to come up with a story
that would last an hour and a half

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based on just one panel in a cave.

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<i>Some believe these violent images
were painted as a religious act</i>

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<i>intended to bring good luck
in upcoming battles.</i>

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We don't know why humankind
was at war with the cows,

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and tragically, we never will.

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In fact, we'll probably never even know
the name of the artist or these cows,

86
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because whoever painted this
is almost certainly dead now.

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<i>Hunting animals every day
was a pain in the arse</i>

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<i>until someone came up with the idea
of also eating plants,</i>

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<i>which were easier to catch
because they couldn't run away.</i>

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This simple act of laziness
led to the invention of farming,

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a huge leap forwards,
which was now more dangerous

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because you might land
on one of the farming implements

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that were suddenly lying around.

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<i>The early farmers grew wheat
and learnt to bake bread.</i>

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<i>They also grew barley, peas and lentils</i>

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<i>so they could have made a passable
vegan burger to put inside the bread.</i>

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<i>But luckily they didn't have to.</i>

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Because they'd also invented this,
the fence,

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a high-tech wooden machine
for containing animals.

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<i>Humans quickly enslaved
sheep, chickens, goats</i>

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<i>and their number-one enemies, the cows.</i>

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<i>Farms became a lot like zoos,
except, of course, in a zoo,</i>

103
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<i>you can't pick out an animal you like
the look of and kill it and eat it.</i>

104
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<i>Unless perhaps the zoo itself
is struggling financially</i>

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<i>and the owner's lost all hope.</i>

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<i>Humans turned animals
they couldn't eat or ride</i>

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<i>into pets if they were pretty enough.</i>

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Early man domesticated dogs
for companionship.

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And cats, for whatever we have cats for.

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<i>This was the first time in history
life could be described as cozy.</i>

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<i>People lived in proper houses,
which soon grew to become cities.</i>

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It's hard to believe I'm walking through
the ruins of the first ever city,

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because I'm not.

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That's in Iraq,
which is miles away and fucking dangerous.

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But the remains of it
look pretty much like this,

116
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so you'd never know
I wasn't actually there

117
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if I wasn't telling you now by accident.

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<i>Today it's just a dismal load
of bricks and dust.</i>

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<i>But if you use a modern computer
to simulate what it used to look like,</i>

120
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<i>the results are nothing
short of breathtaking.</i>

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<i>Civilization had begun.</i>

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Who invented civilization?

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Civilization wasn't something
that was invented

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or something that started abruptly.

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We talk about civilization
once humans started agriculture,

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once they started building cities
and creating laws.

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That was something that happened gradually

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in different parts of the world
rather than just being invented suddenly.

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Yeah, so it wasn't just one man
who wanted to remain anonymous.

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No.

131
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'Cause that would be something
we shouldn't go along with if it was.

132
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Do you mean we shouldn't go along...

133
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If it's one man
who wants to remain anonymous,

134
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there's something a bit shifty
about that, isn't there?

135
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<i>So civilization was invented
in Mesopotamia</i>

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<i>by person or persons unknown.</i>

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<i>But whoever they were,
they were way ahead of their time.</i>

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Did the Mesopotamians have any of
the same things that we have today?

139
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- Yes.
- Like what?

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Weapons, jewelry, temples, animals.

141
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Oh, right. No, I meant like feet
and eyebrows and that sort of thing.

142
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- Yes.
- They did?

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They had the whole set of organs, holes,
bits that work together

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and bits on the outside,
bits on the inside.

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So they had the same number of holes
and everything.

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As far as science is in a position
to reassure you, yes.

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One of their most significant killer apps
was something we still use to this day:

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the circle.

149
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Wheels might look complicated
to the likes of you,

150
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but the way they work is actually simple.

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The circle bit here revolves around
a sort of sticky-out bit in the middle,

152
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and then as the wheel skin here
pushes against the ground,

153
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the pressure rolls the entire planet
back and away from you,

154
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giving you the impression
that you're moving forward,

155
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which, incredibly, you actually are.

156
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<i>The wheel allowed people
to travel around trading things,</i>

157
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<i>but first they needed to count
how many things they owned.</i>

158
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<i>And that led
to the tragic invention of maths.</i>

159
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Let's talk maths and numbers.

160
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Were numbers
worth less back in ancient times

161
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or did they have the same value
as now, only bigger?

162
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Numbers had the same value
as they do now in ancient times, yeah.

163
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People still needed to count things.

164
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And did they have
the same number of numbers as we do?

165
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You know, from 1 to 700,
with 700 being the biggest number?

166
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700 has never been the biggest number.
You can count to as many as you like.

167
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No, no, I saw a thing on YouTube.
After 700, numbers repeat.

168
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They just give them different names
so you think they're still going up.

169
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Do you want me to send it to you?

170
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<i>With numbers going as high,
but no higher than, 700,</i>

171
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<i>people needed something
to help them count.</i>

172
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That's where this came in.
It's called "a-bacus."

173
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<i>Using "a-bacus," our ancestors could count
how many possessions they owned.</i>

174
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<i>It was a short step from this</i>

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<i>to the invention of money,
in the form of cash.</i>

176
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Ancient people invented currency
to make life on Earth easier,

177
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but in doing so,
they inadvertently invented capitalism,

178
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which is gonna kill everyone.

179
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Sorry, that's not a question.
It's just something I read on Twitter.

180
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Having conquered numbers,

181
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humankind moved on to something
even more boring by inventing writing.

182
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Was the invention of writing
a significant development

183
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or more of a flash in the pan,
like rap metal?

184
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,960
I think once writing was thought up,
once it appeared in the world,

185
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it was unstoppable.

186
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So it was much, much bigger
than rap metal then?

187
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:21,320
- Yes, much bigger.
- What about acid jazz?

188
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,120
Um... hmm...

189
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,360
I still would put writing ahead of it.

190
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,376
No, I just wondered what you thought
of acid jazz.

191
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,680
What's this?

192
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It's a cast.
It's not the real thing.

193
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It purports to stand in for a Mesopotamian
clay tablet written in cuneiform writing,

194
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the first kind of writing that appeared
in the world, writing on clay tablets.

195
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As books go, I have to say
it's quite a boring cover, isn't it?

196
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It doesn't even look
like it opens properly.

197
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Are you one of the people
that judges a book by the cover?

198
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:52,640
- Yeah, I am.
- Well, that's a sad and misguided view.

199
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If someone shouted this aloud,

200
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would that have been
the first audio book?

201
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No.

202
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,120
Writing changed the world.

203
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,160
Suddenly ideas didn't have to disappear

204
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,960
just because the person
whose head they were trapped in had died.

205
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:16,440
<i>Instead, you could
convert your ideas into writing,</i>

206
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,800
<i>and then anyone else could come along</i>

207
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,440
<i>and upload those ideas
into their own brain</i>

208
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,680
<i>by wirelessly importing them
through their eyes.</i>

209
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<i>Incredibly, despite being invented
thousands of years ago,</i>

210
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,760
<i>writing still exists today,</i>

211
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,600
<i>underneath video clips
that we watch online.</i>

212
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:40,000
It's here you'll also find another kind of
handmade language that still endures:

213
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,160
emoji.

214
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:46,120
Or as the ancient Egyptians who invented
them called them, hieroglyphics.

215
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:50,040
<i>They told whole stories
in hieroglyphic code.</i>

216
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,440
<i>It's like a more coherent Marvel comic.</i>

217
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:56,480
<i>Rather than being put up in public
where living people could enjoy them,</i>

218
00:12:56,560 --> 00:13:00,680
<i>these Egyptian comic strips
were painted on the walls of tombs</i>

219
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,800
<i>to entertain dead people.</i>

220
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,520
<i>And those tombs lay beneath
some of the most recognizable,</i>

221
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:10,200
<i>not to mention pointiest,
buildings in history.</i>

222
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,280
<i>I'm talking about the pyramids.</i>

223
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,640
Looking at the pyramids today,

224
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,680
it's impossible not to be struck
by the thought

225
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:19,760
that they're basically big triangles
with a sort of square arse.

226
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:23,560
There's probably a word for that shape,
but no one knows what it might be.

227
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,640
It's one of the many timeless
mysteries of the pyramids.

228
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,880
Why are pyramids that shape?

229
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,080
Is it to stop homeless people
sleeping on them?

230
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,880
I don't think they had many
homeless people in ancient Egypt.

231
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,040
Did they not?

232
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:39,680
No, no, people looked after each other,
I think, and helped each other.

233
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:42,200
Right. I suppose it's good
with rain as well,

234
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,240
because it'll just roll off.

235
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,480
How did Egyptians build the pyramids?

236
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:50,720
Did they start at the top and work down
or start at the bottom and work up?

237
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,200
They had to start at the bottom
and work up because

238
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,280
it would be impossible
to start at the top and work down.

239
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,240
The Egyptians believed

240
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,360
the most significant thing
you could do in your life was die.

241
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:08,320
And the more important you were,
the more complicated your death had to be.

242
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,520
<i>Egyptian kings were known as pharaohs,</i>

243
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:15,560
<i>and when they died, they'd get turned
into mummies of Scooby-Doo fame.</i>

244
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:20,880
The ancient Egyptians were obsessed
with dead people, weren't they?

245
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,880
But they're all dead themselves now.
So do you think they still feel that way?

246
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,280
The ancient Egyptians
weren't obsessed with dead people,

247
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,520
but actually they were obsessed with life.

248
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,880
They wanted to be alive,

249
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,080
and they wanted to make sure that
when they died, they came alive again.

250
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:37,360
And that's why they did mummification.

251
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:41,680
So how did they mummify people?
Talk me through the process.

252
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:46,160
Uh, you'd get your dead body
and you'd lay it out on a table

253
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,720
and then you'd wash it,

254
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,680
and then you'd start
by removing the brain.

255
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:53,920
And then they would cut open
down the middle of the body

256
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,640
and they would take out anything
that they thought would rot.

257
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,240
And then they would cover it
in salt and dry it out,

258
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:03,000
and then they would wrap it in bandages,
and then that would be a mummy.

259
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:06,920
So the kind of spa treatment that
Gwyneth Paltrow has on a weekly basis.

260
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,840
Has a mummy ever ridden a bicycle?

261
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,400
Not that I know of, no.

262
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:14,800
But the ancient Egyptians
didn't have bicycles.

263
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,000
- Right.
- They didn't even have roads.

264
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:20,240
So they couldn't have a bicycle
because they couldn't ride a bicycle.

265
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,960
I don't know why I asked that.

266
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,080
I just couldn't think
of anything else to say.

267
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:31,120
<i>While the pharaohs of Egypt
left a legacy of temples and tombs,</i>

268
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,440
<i>across the water,</i>

269
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,560
<i>an even more impressive empire
was appearing.</i>

270
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,400
Greece, the country, not the musical,

271
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:41,600
was where
the birth of civilization was born.

272
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,920
The ancient Greeks invented lots of things
we still have today,

273
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,720
like medicine and olives,

274
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:51,400
and lots of things that have died out,
like democracy and pillars.

275
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:57,240
<i>As well as these impressive ruins,
the ancient Greeks also developed culture</i>

276
00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:01,920
<i>in the form of yoghurt
and theatre in all its tedious forms.</i>

277
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,160
The Greeks were into tragedies.

278
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:09,280
In a tragedy, sad things happen
like people dying or killing themselves.

279
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:13,080
But the ancient Greek tragedies
happened ages ago.

280
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,040
Are the things
that happened in them still sad?

281
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,520
They are still sad

282
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:22,080
because what the tragedies tell
are stories about humans,

283
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,280
who we can relate to in some cases.

284
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,760
But it was so long ago. Why should I care?

285
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:32,600
Well, again, tragedy is often
about human situations.

286
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,400
Even today,
if you found out that by accident

287
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:39,560
you'd killed your own father and married
your mother, you'd be quite upset,

288
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,080
um, just as Oedipus was.

289
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:45,600
Maybe I'm cold, but I just don't give
a shit about people in ancient Greece.

290
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,720
That's a shame.

291
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:52,160
- Do you?
- I do care quite a lot. Yeah, it's my job.

292
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:57,000
My mate Paul wrote a story about a man
who got a new potato stuck up himself

293
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,360
following an ill-advised sex game.

294
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,800
And he wrote that
in the form of a limerick.

295
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,400
No one died, but it sounds horrendous.

296
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,440
Is that a tragedy,

297
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:11,040
or would the potato have to take root
and kill him for it to qualify?

298
00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:14,000
It sounds like
a very unfortunate incident.

299
00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:17,280
I'm not sure it has
a more timeless relevance

300
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:19,000
that might make it a tragedy.

301
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:21,280
Paul said it really happened as well.

302
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,560
Honestly, he's had such
a time of it lately.

303
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,359
He really needs a holiday.

304
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:32,599
The Greeks also created a kind of theatre
for stupid people, known as sport.

305
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,920
They started the Olympic Games
without inviting other countries

306
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,040
to ensure Greece would win.

307
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:42,600
<i>The contenders at these early Olympics
took part completely naked,</i>

308
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,960
<i>partly because an athletic physique
was considered a virtue,</i>

309
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,640
<i>but mainly because Lycra wasn't available.</i>

310
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:54,040
I heard that at the early Olympics,
athletes had to compete in the nude.

311
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:56,400
So they did compete naked.

312
00:17:56,480 --> 00:18:02,320
And there are writings about this
being quite an erotic sight in some cases.

313
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,240
With wrestling,
with all that wriggling about,

314
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,920
they'd have seen right up
their bumholes and everything.

315
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,040
Couldn't they censor it for people
watching it in the auditorium,

316
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:13,120
modesty patches or something,

317
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,240
or ask people to close their eyes
each time someone bends over?

318
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,560
I think that probably
wouldn't have worked.

319
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,080
But you'd have seen
right up their bumholes.

320
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,040
In some cases people might have done.

321
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:29,120
Did Zeus really approve of that?

322
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:34,520
<i>But perhaps the most famous form
of wrestling the Greeks invented</i>

323
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,520
<i>was mental wrestling.</i>

324
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:40,120
<i>Philosophy is basically
thinking about thinking,</i>

325
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,040
<i>which sounds like a waste
of time because it is,</i>

326
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:46,000
<i>although a philosopher might argue
that that time they've wasted</i>

327
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,960
<i>never existed in the first place,</i>

328
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,280
<i>at which point you'd probably
give up talking to them</i>

329
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,040
<i>and open a packet of biscuits.</i>

330
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,280
These are the ancient Greek philosophers.

331
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:59,560
Not the actual ones,
they'd be a load of dust and bones now.

332
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,360
Maybe some teeth if you're lucky.

333
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,480
These are just clever simulations
made of rock.

334
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:09,480
<i>The Greek philosophers came up with
bold new theories about life on Earth.</i>

335
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,000
<i>That's why we still know
their names today,</i>

336
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,200
<i>even though they haven't put out
any new material in ages.</i>

337
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,840
<i>Socrates,</i>

338
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,440
<i>Pythagoras,</i>

339
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:19,800
<i>this one,</i>

340
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,080
<i>him.</i>

341
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,600
And this is Plato.

342
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:28,520
As you can see, even now, centuries after
his death, he's still deep in thought,

343
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,960
concocting clever theories in his head.

344
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,680
If only we could hold a microphone
to the side of his brain

345
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,280
and hear them for ourselves, but we can't.

346
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:37,896
And even if we could, they'd be in Greek,

347
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,200
which no one
on our production team can speak.

348
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,960
<i>Plato handed his wisdom on to a student</i>

349
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:47,800
<i>who would become one of the most
influential thinkers of all time:</i>

350
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,040
<i>Aristotle.</i>

351
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:52,200
Aristotle said a lot of
clever things, didn't he?

352
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,920
My favorite is, "You've got to dance
like nobody's watching."

353
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,480
It's so true,
and you can apply it to anything.

354
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:04,560
Because my confidence
is quite brittle at times,

355
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,440
and I know I come across
as quite confident,

356
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,560
but sometimes when I'm talking to experts,

357
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:15,480
I worry that, you know,
I might come across as a bit stupid.

358
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:19,160
And when I think of
"dance like no one's watching,"

359
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,800
that really helps me, you know?

360
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,560
It's like a gift.

361
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,560
What made Aristotle think of that?

362
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:30,240
I'm not aware that Aristotle said
that particular thing

363
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:33,000
about dancing when no one's watching.

364
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,760
- I don't think he said that.
- He did, didn't he?

365
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,760
If he did, I don't know
and I don't know why,

366
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,520
but I don't think he did.

367
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,960
Is there something similar
that he might have said,

368
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:50,280
um... about...
something about one's confidence?

369
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:51,720
Um...

370
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,120
- I don't think so.
- Right.

371
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,280
Okay.

372
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,560
<i>Experts may disagree
over what they actually said,</i>

373
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,840
<i>but there's no doubt these Greek pioneers
changed the way we think.</i>

374
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:12,200
Did a philosopher ever think of an idea
so big it split their head open?

375
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:14,320
Not that I'm aware of.

376
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,920
You know how the human brain
is full of pipes? Philosophers...

377
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,240
- I'm not.
- You didn't know about that?

378
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,120
- I didn't know about that.
- Okay, well, the brain's full of pipes.

379
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:26,760
You know how philosophers
have these thoughts,

380
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:31,560
and they try and push these thoughts
through these pipes?

381
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,560
When you're having a big idea,

382
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:37,720
is it best to break it up into lots of
little thoughts, about the size of peas,

383
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,760
and squeeze them through
in quick succession,

384
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:45,320
or just bite the bullet and force it
through your mind pipe in one huge clod,

385
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,640
like gritting your teeth
and thinking for dear life?

386
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:53,800
Well, that's a very interesting way
of describing

387
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,240
two general tendencies in philosophy.

388
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,720
One, the more analytic style,

389
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:04,880
which means cutting problems up
into bite-sized portions...

390
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:05,960
Peas.

391
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,280
...and the other a more synthetic approach

392
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:12,800
which takes on a larger perspective.

393
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,880
So your characterization is, in fact,

394
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:20,040
a rather intriguing delineation

395
00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:23,920
of two major strands
in current philosophy.

396
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,720
- Is that good?
- Excellent.

397
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,600
Great.

398
00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:33,160
<i>Meanwhile, ancient Greece was being
spread across the globe by this man,</i>

399
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,080
<i>Alexander the Great.</i>

400
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:38,600
Alexander the Great became a king at 20,

401
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,840
conducted a military campaign
throughout the Middle East,

402
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:46,320
and had an empire stretching
all the way from Greece to India

403
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:48,240
by the time he was 30.

404
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,360
What did his hair look like?

405
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,520
I don't know.

406
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:58,040
<i>And Alexander wasn't
the only megastar with his own empire.</i>

407
00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:02,480
<i>Huge swathes of China
had been unified by Qin Shi Huang,</i>

408
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,440
<i>the first cartoon character
to found his own empire</i>

409
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,960
<i>and build the Great Wall of China.</i>

410
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:14,280
They say the Great Wall of China
is the only landmark audible from space.

411
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,760
Yeah, you can't... you can't hear it.

412
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:23,000
And they say that you can see it
from space, but it's not true.

413
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,016
- They've tried.
- So you can't see it from space.

414
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,880
Chinese astronauts have tried to see
the Great Wall and they can't.

415
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:33,280
They can't see it. So it's invisible.
It's an invisible wall, like a forcefield.

416
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:38,040
It's only invisible from space.
On the ground you can certainly see it.

417
00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:41,840
That's so weird, isn't it?
Is that one of the great mysteries?

418
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:47,040
And do we know if China has a roof?
Is there a great roof of China?

419
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:48,800
No, no great roof.

420
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,600
<i>The Chinese empire was
a powerhouse of intense creativity</i>

421
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,600
<i>and philosophical thought,</i>

422
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,760
<i>captured in historical documents
produced centuries</i>

423
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:03,720
<i>before the release of unrelated Belgian
techno anthem "Pump Up the Jam."</i>

424
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,240
<i>♪ Pump up the jam, pump it up ♪</i>

425
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,960
<i>♪ While your feet are stomping ♪</i>

426
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,880
<i>♪ And the jam is pumping ♪</i>

427
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,200
<i>♪ Look ahead, the crowd is jumping ♪</i>

428
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:28,840
<i>♪ Pump it up a little more ♪</i>

429
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,680
<i>♪ Get the party going
On the dance floor ♪</i>

430
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,600
<i>♪ See, 'cause that's
Where the party's at ♪</i>

431
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,360
<i>♪ And you'll find out if you do that ♪</i>

432
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:39,360
<i>♪ I want a place to stay
Get your booty... ♪</i>

433
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:42,760
The Greeks had an empire
and the Chinese had an empire.

434
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:46,360
But when most of us think of the word
"empire," we think of the big one,

435
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,960
<i>Star Wars...</i> or Rome.

436
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,280
And this is history,
so it's Rome, I'm afraid.

437
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:55,800
<i>Its empire rose to supremacy
under the leadership of Julius Caesar,</i>

438
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,160
<i>the most notorious Roman until Polanski.</i>

439
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:05,160
<i>One of the reasons we still know a lot
about the Romans today is Wikipedia.</i>

440
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,280
And the reason Wikipedia knows
a lot about the Romans

441
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:11,040
is because of what happened in Pompeii.

442
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,760
<i>Pompeii was so advanced,
it had its own volcano,</i>

443
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,600
<i>which is Latin for "angry hill."</i>

444
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,960
For years, humans and the volcano
lived in harmony,

445
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:26,240
until one fateful day they fell out
and the volcano went off,

446
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,760
burying Pompeii
beneath a thick layer of ash.

447
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,800
<i>Everyday life was frozen in its tracks</i>

448
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:36,360
<i>as though someone had magically
stopped the hands of time</i>

449
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:38,520
<i>and then shat dust everywhere.</i>

450
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,200
It was deadly at the time,
but on the bright side,

451
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:45,600
it gave archaeologists a treasure trove of
information about how the Romans lived.

452
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:51,240
<i>Thanks to the volcano, we know everyday
Romans had grey skin, were totally bald,</i>

453
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:55,960
<i>and spent their time lying around
inside their shockingly dusty houses.</i>

454
00:25:56,040 --> 00:26:00,680
<i>But it also preserved glimpses
of how sophisticated Roman life was,</i>

455
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:04,760
<i>with creature comforts
like indoor plumbing and cunnilingus.</i>

456
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,080
<i>The Roman Empire
was years ahead of its time.</i>

457
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,520
People think the Romans
invented loads of things,

458
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:15,000
but often they only perfected things
that other people had made.

459
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:19,160
I'll say some things and you tell me
if the Romans invented them

460
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:20,320
or just perfected them.

461
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,600
Right? Invented or perfected.

462
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:23,680
Test me.

463
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,760
- Underfloor heating.
- Invented.

464
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:27,840
Ding!

465
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,400
- The calendar.
- Perfected.

466
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,680
You wallied.
That means you can't answer the next one.

467
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:36,760
Roads.

468
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:42,000
Well, the roads were invented by Persians
and plenty of people knew about roads.

469
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,000
You wallied anyway,
you can't answer that one.

470
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,000
- Oh, right.
- Concrete.

471
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:47,120
Invented.

472
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,120
Ding!

473
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:49,560
The alphabet.

474
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:53,680
Definitely did not invent it, and probably
didn't really perfect it either.

475
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:54,640
I mean, that's sort of...

476
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,560
- Gotta pick one.
- Have I?

477
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:57,640
Yeah.

478
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,240
Um... I mean, perfected is wrong...

479
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:03,360
Ding! Anal bleaching.

480
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,680
- What?
- Anal bleaching.

481
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:07,760
Anal bleaching?

482
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,000
Um...

483
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,440
- I've no idea what they would have done.
- Go on, give it a go.

484
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,816
- I don't know what it is.
- It's when they bleach your arse.

485
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,200
- Really?
- Yeah. Lighten it up.

486
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:23,000
Not around my way, they don't.
But anyway, I've no idea with that. Pass.

487
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,240
Invented or perfected, you can't pass.

488
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,920
- Bleaching?
- Yep. Bleaching the arsehole.

489
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,640
Um... okay. Well, I'll say
they invented it, but...

490
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,680
<i>Just a few hundred thousand years ago,</i>

491
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,640
<i>humans had been living in caves
like animals.</i>

492
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:49,560
<i>Now, following a series of technological
and cultural breakthroughs,</i>

493
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,000
<i>we were living in cities, like people.</i>

494
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,760
<i>Looking around ancient Rome,
our ancestors could have been forgiven</i>

495
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:59,160
<i>for feeling almost as smug
as James Corden.</i>

496
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,120
But little did the Roman Empire know

497
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:03,600
it was about to come up
against its biggest challenge:

498
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:08,320
a man of peace, Jesus Christ Almighty,
street name: son of God.

499
00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:12,720
<i>Next time,
we look at religion and how it spread.</i>

500
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:16,440
<i>Like memes, but with a whole lifestyle
and clothing line attached.</i>

501
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,360
And we'll be looking at two of the most
important books in history:

502
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,480
the Bible and the Koran,

503
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,920
and finally answering the question,
which is best?

