﻿1
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♪ <i>It seems today that all you see</i> ♪

2
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♪ <i>Is violence in movies and sex on TV</i> ♪

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♪ <i>But where are those</i>
<i>good old-fashioned values</i> ♪

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♪ <i>On which we used to rely?</i> ♪

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♪ <i>Lucky there's a family guy</i> ♪

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♪ <i>Lucky there's a man</i>
<i>who positively can do</i> ♪

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♪ <i>All the things that make us</i> ♪

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♪ <i>Laugh and cry</i> ♪

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♪ <i>He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy!</i> ♪

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- Synced and corrected by <font color="#ff0000">Darrow</font> -
- www.addic7ed.com -

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_

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<i>TOM (ON TV):
Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker.</i>

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<i>Our top story:
doing laundry and drinking beer.</i>

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<i>(CLEARS THROAT) I'm sorry.</i>

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<i>Doing laundry and drinking beer?</i>

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<i>Quahog welcomes Duds & Suds,
a new laundromat that serves beer.</i>

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<i>So if you want to drink</i>

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<i>and watch your kid's teacher
wash his only pair of pants,</i>

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<i>get on down there.</i>

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- Ah, cool!
- We should go!

21
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Nothing better than putting on
a warm diaper right out of the dryer.

22
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(GRUNTS)

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- Ah, I'm okay! Let's go again!
- (KNOCKING, RATTLING)

24
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- CHRIS: Shut up! Shut up!
- What's the problem?

25
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- CHRIS: What day is it?
- Wednesday?

26
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CHRIS: Aka, the one day a week
I have independent study first period

27
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and get to sleep in!

28
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- So shut up!
- (BANGING)

29
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Stewie, when I was over
visiting Grandma and Grandpa,

30
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humiliating myself to ask them
to keep paying for your preschool...

31
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I know you don't understand me,
but I understand you.

32
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I found Chi-Chi!
He's like your doll, Reuben.

33
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I know, I know, I know.

34
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You called Joanna "Joanne"
the other day, it happens.

35
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He was always very special to me,

36
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now I want him
to be very special to you.

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- What is she even talking about?
- Toy!

38
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Toy? Oh, oh, toy!
Oh, well, why didn't you say so?

39
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- Yay, toy!
- Yay, toy!

40
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- (BANGING)
- CHRIS: Shut! Up!

41
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I'm so sorry, Chris!
I forgot it was Wednesday!

42
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(CHUCKLES):
Oh, sorry, where are my manners?

43
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Chi-Chi, this is Reuben... Uh, Rupert!

44
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(CHUCKLES):
Rupert! I-I meant... I meant Rupert.

45
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You know that.

46
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(INSECTS TRILLING)

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(WHISPERING):
I know it's not ideal that he's here,

48
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but I can't just throw him out.

49
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Lois would be crushed.
She has, like, nothing in her life.

50
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Of course I saw his Bible,
that's the first thing I saw.

51
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_

52
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Hey, check it out.
You and Peter have the same undies.

53
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What are you talking about?
He just wears run-of-the-mill Hanes.

54
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Yours aren't Hanes?

55
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No, mine are Planes.
All pilots wear them.

56
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_
- Look at that, Planes.

57
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"The perfect underwear
for unexpected wind shear."

58
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- Is that, like, farts?
- Yes, that's like farts.

59
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_

60
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(KIDS CHATTERING)

61
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Oh, hello, Doug. Can I sit here?

62
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I don't care. My stop is next.

63
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I assume you're taking this
to the end of the line?

64
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Out to the land of cheap rents
and tract housing?

65
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My stop's pretty soon, too.
What's on your shoes?

66
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Oh. These are called laces.

67
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I doubt you've ever heard of them,
Mr. Velcro.

68
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I know about laces!
I've just never seen black ones.

69
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Geez. Why are you always such a dick?

70
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Takes one to know one.

71
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Where did you learn that? That's great!

72
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I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
That-that wasn't about you.

73
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I... I'm just...
There's-there's stuff going on at home.

74
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I'd love to hear about it,
though fair warning:

75
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I know little
of lower-middle class plight.

76
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Eh, it's just this new
stuffed monkey Chi-Chi's

77
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making waves with my old stuffy.

78
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I keep trying to get rid of the monkey,
but my mom keeps finding him...

79
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and I can tell you're bored.

80
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Far from it, Stewie.

81
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I feel for you.
That actually sounds like

82
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what I'm going through
with Miss Tiggywinkles.

83
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- Really?
- Yeah.

84
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It's really wearing on me.

85
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Hey, I just had a crazy idea.
We might be able to help each other out.

86
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- How's that?
- Think about it:

87
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two fellas meet on a train,
and do each other's murders.

88
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I kill Chi-Chi,
you kill Miss Tiggywinkles.

89
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Nobody could ever connect us
to the crimes. Crisscross.

90
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You've got yourself a deal!

91
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:14,141
Great. Well, this is my stop.

92
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No, no, no! You can't!
You can't! That's hot lava!

93
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Whoa. (CHUCKLES) That was close.

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_
- ♪

95
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Giggity morning, everyone.

96
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Lois, can I see you
in the other room for a second?

97
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- Sure.
- All right!

98
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Peter, what would you like
for breakfast?

99
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Chocolate chip pancakes.

100
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Lois, can I see you
in the other room for a second?

101
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So... Whew. (CHUCKLES)

102
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Uh, what did you want? Uh, wa-waffles?

103
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Yeah, sure.

104
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Lois, can I see you
in the other room for a second?

105
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I couldn't perform a third time,
so we just read.

106
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Morning, beautiful.

107
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I had the Uber guy sleep outside,
so he's ready when you're ready.

108
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_
- ♪

109
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But first, a dump so long

110
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I will be able to read
everything Garfield ever wrote.

111
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(GIGGLES)

112
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Jon.

113
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Morning, Captain Quagmire.

114
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Hey, did you know
if this plane was a wiener,

115
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we'd be the wiener's eyes?

116
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<i>QUAGMIRE (OVER P.A.):
Hello, this is your captain speaking</i>

117
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<i>from the, uh, cockpit.</i>

118
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<i>(GIGGLES)</i>

119
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<i>COPILOT:
Lot of penis stuff from you today.</i>

120
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<i>QUAGMIRE: Quiet, you don't talk.</i>

121
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<i>Now please enjoy this in-flight music</i>

122
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<i>I brought with me
from my glove compartment.</i>

123
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♪ <i>Ah, well, everybody's heard
about the bird</i> ♪

124
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♪ <i>B-B-B-Bird, bird, bird,</i>
<i>b-bird's the word.</i> ♪

125
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♪

126
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Guess I'll go for my walk
and leave Chi-Chi all alone!

127
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(HENRY HALL'S
"THE TEDDY BEARS' PICNIC" PLAYING)

128
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♪ <i>If you go down in the woods today</i> ♪

129
00:06:19,164 --> 00:06:21,837
♪ <i>You're sure of a big surprise</i> ♪

130
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♪ <i>If you go down in the woods today</i> ♪

131
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♪ <i>You better go in disguise</i> ♪

132
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♪ <i>For every bear that ever there was</i> ♪

133
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♪ <i>Will gather there</i>
<i>for certain, because</i> ♪

134
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♪ <i>Today's the day the teddy bears
have their picnic.</i> ♪

135
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Wow, how far is it from up here?

136
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♪

137
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(GLASS SHATTERS)

138
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<i>Goodnight Moon?</i>
Ugh, God, Stewie's so basic.

139
00:07:10,164 --> 00:07:12,177
Oh, my God, he did it.

140
00:07:12,872 --> 00:07:16,240
Oh, no! I've been out all morning
with lots of witnesses,

141
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and now this!

142
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,028
Chris! Help!

143
00:07:19,030 --> 00:07:21,224
For God's sake, what now?

144
00:07:21,226 --> 00:07:24,557
So, I was out on my walk with Jane,
Ally P., and Ali R....

145
00:07:24,559 --> 00:07:26,576
both got disastrous haircuts yesterday,

146
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obviously that stays in this room...

147
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and I just came in
and found Chi-Chi like this!

148
00:07:30,256 --> 00:07:32,822
Stewie, do you know what day it is?

149
00:07:32,824 --> 00:07:34,876
It's the next Wednesday.

150
00:07:34,878 --> 00:07:38,126
I believe you're aware
of my Wednesday schedule.

151
00:07:38,128 --> 00:07:39,795
First period, independent study.

152
00:07:39,797 --> 00:07:41,684
Oh, so you are.

153
00:07:41,686 --> 00:07:43,625
And do you remember what I like to do

154
00:07:43,627 --> 00:07:46,201
during first period, independent study?

155
00:07:46,203 --> 00:07:47,718
- Sleep.
- Sleep!

156
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,765
(CHUCKLES): Oh, you're a quick study.

157
00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:52,410
- (ALARM CLOCK BLARING)
- (BLEEP)

158
00:07:52,412 --> 00:07:54,645
LOIS: Chris, your alarm is going off!

159
00:07:54,647 --> 00:07:57,647
I know!

160
00:07:57,649 --> 00:08:01,186
♪

161
00:08:10,179 --> 00:08:13,313
All right, time to murder
Miss Tiggywinkles.

162
00:08:13,315 --> 00:08:15,708
Oh, never been invited to Doug's before.

163
00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:18,659
Whoa! Chalkboard wall? No way!

164
00:08:18,661 --> 00:08:21,465
The only limitation is my imagination.

165
00:08:27,565 --> 00:08:29,167
So fun!

166
00:08:30,780 --> 00:08:32,869
GIRL:
Stay right here, Miss Tiggywinkles.

167
00:08:32,871 --> 00:08:34,513
Dougie will be home soon to play.

168
00:08:36,146 --> 00:08:37,146
(DOOR CLOSES)

169
00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:54,337
Beat it, you don't want to see

170
00:08:54,339 --> 00:08:56,452
what I'm about to do
to Miss Tiggywinkles!

171
00:09:06,985 --> 00:09:08,291
Get away from me n...

172
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,808
_

173
00:09:10,810 --> 00:09:13,650
(GASPS) Oh, my God! I can't read!

174
00:09:13,652 --> 00:09:14,886
(DOOR CREAKING)

175
00:09:15,711 --> 00:09:19,013
- (GRUNTS)
- Here you go, Miss Tiggywinkles.

176
00:09:20,063 --> 00:09:23,153
(GASPS) Miss Tiggywinkles is a real cat!

177
00:09:23,155 --> 00:09:24,521
(INHALES DEEPLY)

178
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:26,939
You know what? I can do this.

179
00:09:42,045 --> 00:09:43,655
(PURRING)

180
00:09:43,657 --> 00:09:47,097
I can't do it! I can't kill a cat!

181
00:09:47,099 --> 00:09:50,332
Unless you were in the movie musical
with Rebel Wilson?

182
00:09:50,334 --> 00:09:52,378
I can't do it!

183
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,844
<i>ANNOUNCER: We now return to</i> Baywatch.

184
00:09:57,846 --> 00:09:59,373
All right!

185
00:09:59,375 --> 00:10:00,456
There he is,

186
00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:03,348
the reason our lawn
looks like it has leopard skin pants.

187
00:10:03,350 --> 00:10:04,350
What's up with you lately?

188
00:10:04,352 --> 00:10:05,999
You've been acting really weird
all of the sudden.

189
00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:08,165
"All of <i>the</i> sudden," Brian?

190
00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:10,698
I think what you mean is
"all of <i>a</i> sudden."

191
00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:13,412
Ladies and gentlemen,
that's the author in the house.

192
00:10:13,414 --> 00:10:15,573
What's your problem?
Why are you being such a jerk to me?

193
00:10:15,575 --> 00:10:18,027
My problem with you?
Let's see, where do I begin?

194
00:10:18,029 --> 00:10:22,004
You accept food, clothing and shelter,
yet no responsibilities.

195
00:10:22,006 --> 00:10:25,472
You constantly want to sleep
with my wife, who is an angel.

196
00:10:25,474 --> 00:10:27,077
Oh, and the hypocrisy.

197
00:10:27,079 --> 00:10:29,259
You claim to be an ally to women,

198
00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:31,889
but I bet you don't even know
Nancy Pelosi's official title.

199
00:10:31,891 --> 00:10:36,055
Sure, I do. She's, uh...
Chuck Schumer's secretary.

200
00:10:36,057 --> 00:10:39,056
Forget it, Brian. Now, can you strap me
to this milking table?

201
00:10:39,058 --> 00:10:41,481
My wife will be home soon.

202
00:10:41,483 --> 00:10:44,054
_

203
00:10:46,118 --> 00:10:48,417
Stewie Griffin, do you want to tell me

204
00:10:48,419 --> 00:10:51,531
why you didn't hold up your end
of the bargain with Miss Tiggywinkles?

205
00:10:51,533 --> 00:10:52,533
Seriously?

206
00:10:52,535 --> 00:10:55,948
Maybe because you failed to mention
she was a real, living cat.

207
00:10:55,950 --> 00:10:57,615
Hey, I killed your monkey!

208
00:10:57,617 --> 00:10:59,201
Don't you see how that's different?

209
00:10:59,203 --> 00:11:01,537
We had a deal.

210
00:11:01,539 --> 00:11:04,588
No, I know. (STAMMERS) But I just...
I d... I don't... I don't think...

211
00:11:04,590 --> 00:11:07,268
Boy, this is really gonna hurt
your reputation

212
00:11:07,270 --> 00:11:09,836
with my kindergarten friends.

213
00:11:09,838 --> 00:11:11,423
You have kindergarten friends?

214
00:11:11,425 --> 00:11:12,425
(CHUCKLES): Oh, yeah.

215
00:11:12,427 --> 00:11:15,816
I let them throw pinecones at me
all the time.

216
00:11:15,818 --> 00:11:19,017
But now I'm gonna have to tell them
you welshed on me.

217
00:11:19,019 --> 00:11:22,308
(SUCKS TEETH)
Kindergartners hate welshers.

218
00:11:22,310 --> 00:11:24,336
Kindergartners, eh?

219
00:11:24,338 --> 00:11:25,981
You know what? I'll do it.

220
00:11:25,983 --> 00:11:27,129
Good choice, Stewie.

221
00:11:27,131 --> 00:11:28,878
Hey, m-maybe after all this is done,

222
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,917
I-I could get kindergartners
throwing pinecones at me?

223
00:11:31,919 --> 00:11:36,402
(CHUCKLES): Whoa, slow down, champ.
They start you at driveway pebbles.

224
00:11:41,189 --> 00:11:43,756
Ah, Brian, just the man
I was hoping to see.

225
00:11:43,758 --> 00:11:45,156
You don't like cats, do you?

226
00:11:45,158 --> 00:11:46,830
- I hate 'em.
- Sit.

227
00:11:48,558 --> 00:11:51,444
Three of Lois' sweaty jogging bras.

228
00:11:51,446 --> 00:11:53,457
Have I really been that good of a boy?

229
00:11:53,459 --> 00:11:55,447
That depends. I got a cat problem.

230
00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:57,352
You get rid of my cat,
this is all yours.

231
00:11:57,354 --> 00:11:59,130
- Done.
- Go ahead, boy.

232
00:11:59,132 --> 00:12:01,961
(SNIFFING)

233
00:12:01,963 --> 00:12:03,569
Oh, yeah!

234
00:12:03,571 --> 00:12:06,442
She ran fast
because Bonnie was watching.

235
00:12:06,444 --> 00:12:09,434
_

236
00:12:10,669 --> 00:12:11,810
What happened to you?

237
00:12:11,812 --> 00:12:13,975
I'm not really sure.
I was in line at the bank,

238
00:12:13,977 --> 00:12:16,333
and this human-sized chicken
cut in front of me.

239
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:18,287
Well, I wasn't gonna let that stand.

240
00:12:18,289 --> 00:12:19,508
I had a weird day, too.

241
00:12:19,510 --> 00:12:20,985
I asked, like, seven people

242
00:12:20,987 --> 00:12:23,133
if they were gonna watch
the SpaceX launch.

243
00:12:23,135 --> 00:12:24,785
And I-I don't even know what that is.

244
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:27,017
Hey, you two are both
acting very strange,

245
00:12:27,019 --> 00:12:29,044
and I think I know what it is.

246
00:12:29,046 --> 00:12:32,299
He's wearing your underwear,
and you're wearing his.

247
00:12:32,301 --> 00:12:33,301
How do you know that?

248
00:12:33,303 --> 00:12:34,868
Well, you know,
when some people go blind

249
00:12:34,870 --> 00:12:36,538
their other senses are heightened.

250
00:12:36,540 --> 00:12:39,760
When I lost my legs,
I gained a sense of underpants.

251
00:12:39,762 --> 00:12:42,052
What are you talking about?
We didn't switch underwear.

252
00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:45,956
Are you sure about that?
Stand up and let Jojo flip your taggies.

253
00:12:45,958 --> 00:12:47,849
Turn around. Butt-to-butt.

254
00:12:50,093 --> 00:12:51,472
Hanes.

255
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:53,816
Planes.

256
00:12:53,818 --> 00:12:55,405
(LAUGHING)

257
00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:56,984
Whoo!

258
00:12:56,986 --> 00:12:58,061
What the hell?

259
00:12:58,063 --> 00:13:00,737
We must've accidentally grabbed
the wrong ones at the laundromat.

260
00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:04,554
Oh, so your boys were
where his boys were.

261
00:13:04,556 --> 00:13:07,159
And your boys were where his boys were.

262
00:13:08,235 --> 00:13:10,831
BOTH: Oh, my God!

263
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,528
Hey, what are you guys talking about?

264
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,765
Peter and Quagmire exchanged underwear.

265
00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:16,158
Ha! Classic!

266
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,564
Me, I don't wear underwear.
I just wear trunks.

267
00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:21,414
Tree guy.

268
00:13:21,416 --> 00:13:23,257
That'll hit you
when you're driving home.

269
00:13:23,701 --> 00:13:26,759
Hey, look at this table.
What are you guys talking about?

270
00:13:35,038 --> 00:13:36,823
Oh, hey, I-I, uh...

271
00:13:36,825 --> 00:13:39,162
I didn't... I didn't know
you take out trash, too.

272
00:13:39,164 --> 00:13:41,745
Yeah, I-I, uh... Only on trash days.

273
00:13:41,747 --> 00:13:43,833
No, right, of course.
Yeah, no, no, I'm sorry. I-I...

274
00:13:43,835 --> 00:13:45,126
- (KICKS GROUND)
- (SIGHS)

275
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:46,917
(CHUCKLES): I'm not sure what to say.

276
00:13:46,919 --> 00:13:49,026
(CHUCKLES) I know. It's awkward.

277
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,609
I thought things would go back to normal

278
00:13:50,611 --> 00:13:52,542
after we traded underwear yesterday.

279
00:13:52,544 --> 00:13:54,544
(PLAYING "TAPS")

280
00:14:08,729 --> 00:14:10,882
I'm gonna have Lois cancel
our dinner plans

281
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,680
with you and Ida tomorrow.
I-I think it's too soon.

282
00:14:13,682 --> 00:14:16,286
Hey, you don't think the guys
are talking about us, do you?

283
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:17,524
Oh, I don't think so.

284
00:14:17,526 --> 00:14:18,814
Oh, my God.

285
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:21,510
I still can't believe they wore
each other's underwear.

286
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:22,869
Like, can you imagine?

287
00:14:22,871 --> 00:14:25,929
I know, right?
Like, icky times a thousand.

288
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,746
Hey, this is crazy,

289
00:14:27,748 --> 00:14:29,912
but what if we wore
each other's underwear,

290
00:14:29,914 --> 00:14:31,025
just for a joke?

291
00:14:31,027 --> 00:14:33,440
What? No, that's a terrible idea.

292
00:14:33,442 --> 00:14:35,008
Yeah, just-just joking.

293
00:14:35,010 --> 00:14:36,553
So stupid!

294
00:14:36,555 --> 00:14:38,503
Can I be done now?

295
00:14:43,536 --> 00:14:44,536
(DOOR CREAKS)

296
00:14:44,538 --> 00:14:48,271
Okay, you go in there, kill Miss T,
and we'll sneak out the back.

297
00:14:48,273 --> 00:14:49,538
You need a weapon or anything?

298
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:52,525
She's a cat, I'm a dog. I'm good.

299
00:14:54,319 --> 00:14:55,724
- (BRIAN BARKING)
- (RATTLING)

300
00:14:55,726 --> 00:14:56,953
(MISS TIGGYWINKLES SNARLS)

301
00:14:56,955 --> 00:15:00,024
(BRIAN GROWLING)

302
00:15:00,684 --> 00:15:02,952
- (RATTLING STOPS)
- (BRIAN GROWLS)

303
00:15:02,954 --> 00:15:04,786
(MISS TIGGYWINKLES MEOWS)

304
00:15:04,788 --> 00:15:05,788
(LOUD MEOW)

305
00:15:07,331 --> 00:15:08,983
It went poorly.

306
00:15:13,322 --> 00:15:15,582
Thanks again for having us over, Lois.

307
00:15:15,584 --> 00:15:19,955
Zesty Italian? Oh, I-I just couldn't.
Not this close to bedtime.

308
00:15:20,261 --> 00:15:21,997
(WHISPERS):
You said you were gonna cancel dinner.

309
00:15:21,999 --> 00:15:24,290
(WHISPERS):
I have zero control in my marriage.

310
00:15:27,518 --> 00:15:28,986
Whoops. (CHUCKLES) I dropped my roll,

311
00:15:28,988 --> 00:15:30,920
which is not at all
an invitation for Peter

312
00:15:30,922 --> 00:15:33,096
to have an under-the-table conference.

313
00:15:42,062 --> 00:15:43,966
Ha! Darn thing's always coming off.

314
00:15:43,968 --> 00:15:45,910
Excuse me for one moment, won't you?

315
00:15:48,742 --> 00:15:49,823
Why did you do that?

316
00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:51,993
You dropped all the bread.
What was I supposed to do?

317
00:15:51,995 --> 00:15:53,219
Okay, that makes sense.

318
00:15:53,221 --> 00:15:56,183
So, I went
to the underwear doctor and...

319
00:15:56,185 --> 00:15:57,631
you should probably get checked.

320
00:15:57,633 --> 00:15:59,384
They say when you wear
someone's underwear,

321
00:15:59,386 --> 00:16:00,770
you're also wearing the underwear

322
00:16:00,772 --> 00:16:02,604
of everyone whose underwear
they've worn.

323
00:16:02,606 --> 00:16:06,670
I can't believe this!
I thought I knew you, Glenn Quagmire!

324
00:16:09,433 --> 00:16:12,596
(CHUCKLES) Here I go again,
filling up on ears.

325
00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:15,518
What's going on here, you two?
You're being very rude.

326
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,120
Lois spent all day
overcooking this meal.

327
00:16:18,122 --> 00:16:20,808
We accidentally wore
each other's underwear.

328
00:16:21,462 --> 00:16:24,202
(LAUGHING)

329
00:16:24,204 --> 00:16:26,908
I can't believe you wore
each other's undies!

330
00:16:26,910 --> 00:16:29,720
(LAUGHS) This is hysterical!

331
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,112
- (BANGING ON WALL)
- CHRIS: Shut! Up!

332
00:16:31,114 --> 00:16:32,998
Oh, it's not even Wednesday!

333
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,125
CHRIS: It's Tuesday night!
That's part of it!

334
00:16:36,127 --> 00:16:37,746
Guys, this isn't funny!

335
00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:40,184
Relax, Peter. It's no big deal.

336
00:16:40,186 --> 00:16:41,214
You don't get it!

337
00:16:41,216 --> 00:16:45,251
Oh, quit being so dramatic.
Ladies switch underwear all the time.

338
00:16:45,253 --> 00:16:48,216
I might be wearing Bonnie's right now.
I don't even remember.

339
00:16:48,218 --> 00:16:50,997
While that is super sexy
and being stored for later,

340
00:16:50,999 --> 00:16:52,763
it's very different for guys.

341
00:16:52,765 --> 00:16:55,975
That's not true, male friends can be
more intimate than they used to.

342
00:16:55,977 --> 00:16:57,614
- BOTH: Nope!
- And the lines of sexuality

343
00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:59,072
- are more fluid than ever.
- BOTH: Nope!

344
00:16:59,074 --> 00:17:01,005
And people aren't so quick
to judge or label.

345
00:17:01,007 --> 00:17:02,007
Please stop.

346
00:17:02,009 --> 00:17:04,569
Masculinity just doesn't account
for stuff like this.

347
00:17:04,571 --> 00:17:06,991
Look, guys can share laughs and beers,

348
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:09,861
but we don't share feelings,
emotions, or underwear.

349
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:12,729
Between male friends,
there's no coming back from this.

350
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:16,112
He's right. I'm afraid our relationship
is on the skids.

351
00:17:16,114 --> 00:17:18,913
Maybe there's hope for the future,
but things now are too spotty.

352
00:17:18,915 --> 00:17:20,950
I just don't know
if there's any front-to-back to this.

353
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,596
Our reputations are smeared.

354
00:17:22,598 --> 00:17:24,899
If I wasn't so yellow,
maybe I'd push harder.

355
00:17:24,901 --> 00:17:28,121
But, hey,
we had a really good streak, huh?

356
00:17:34,213 --> 00:17:36,077
What's going on out there, Dad?

357
00:17:36,079 --> 00:17:37,811
We accidentally wore
each other's underwear,

358
00:17:37,813 --> 00:17:39,532
so Mr. Quagmire is moving.

359
00:17:39,534 --> 00:17:40,756
Oh, wow.

360
00:17:40,758 --> 00:17:43,094
Yeah, obviously one of you
would need to.

361
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,613
Peter, this is completely ridiculous.

362
00:17:45,615 --> 00:17:47,527
Babe. What's done is done.

363
00:17:47,529 --> 00:17:49,201
Look, I don't have a lot of friends,

364
00:17:49,203 --> 00:17:51,311
it's kind of a problem on the show.

365
00:17:51,313 --> 00:17:54,480
But if I did, I would never let
anything come between us,

366
00:17:54,482 --> 00:17:56,775
especially a pair of underwear.

367
00:17:59,587 --> 00:18:02,086
You know what, Lois? You're right.

368
00:18:02,088 --> 00:18:04,115
Now go tell him not to move.

369
00:18:07,217 --> 00:18:09,218
♪

370
00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:11,457
_

371
00:18:13,307 --> 00:18:15,629
_

372
00:18:21,693 --> 00:18:23,693
♪

373
00:18:43,816 --> 00:18:44,970
Quagmire,

374
00:18:44,972 --> 00:18:47,950
I just want to say that you can
wreck a good pair of underwear,

375
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:49,894
but you can't wreck a good friendship.

376
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:50,979
That's nice, Peter.

377
00:18:50,981 --> 00:18:53,375
Underwear should never come
between two friends.

378
00:18:53,377 --> 00:18:54,533
Well, it kind of should.

379
00:18:54,535 --> 00:18:56,332
(CHUCKLES):
Yeah, yeah. It kind of should, yeah.

380
00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:58,439
Will you help me move my stuff
back inside?

381
00:18:58,441 --> 00:19:01,323
Only if I can do it half naked
and in front of all our neighbors.

382
00:19:01,325 --> 00:19:03,390
Not my first choice, but okay.

383
00:19:08,402 --> 00:19:10,396
♪

384
00:19:26,018 --> 00:19:28,954
Miss Tiggywinkles, wake up!
You've got to get out of here!

385
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,865
Oh, my God, you're dead!

386
00:19:34,867 --> 00:19:37,383
- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
- Well, what do we have here?

387
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:40,138
Stewie Griffin, cat murderer?

388
00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:42,964
What? You psycho! You killed her?

389
00:19:42,966 --> 00:19:46,317
Maybe I did, maybe she died
of natural causes.

390
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:50,182
The only thing that matters
is that now I have the goods on you.

391
00:19:52,533 --> 00:19:54,953
Oh, that's a terrible photo.
Would you mind doing it again?

392
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,236
(SHUTTER CLICKS)

393
00:20:02,238 --> 00:20:04,273
Aw, yeah. That's cute.
Can you send me that?

394
00:20:04,275 --> 00:20:05,522
No.

395
00:20:06,002 --> 00:20:07,195
Give me that picture!

396
00:20:07,197 --> 00:20:09,015
Hey, Doug. Sorry about your kitty.

397
00:20:09,017 --> 00:20:12,375
I guess the pet store
didn't have a men's department, huh?

398
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:15,848
- Uh, well, I tried to get a...
- (SNORES THEN GROANS)

399
00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:17,811
Hey, I don't want to be too tired
to drive home.

400
00:20:17,813 --> 00:20:19,239
Does this story have an ending?

401
00:20:19,241 --> 00:20:22,385
Later, losers! I'm five!

402
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:23,395
(HORN HONKS)

403
00:20:23,397 --> 00:20:25,431
- Who is that?
- That's Tyler.

404
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,675
He's, uh, kind of my Doug.

405
00:20:27,677 --> 00:20:29,243
Boy, we all get a Doug, huh?

406
00:20:29,245 --> 00:20:31,878
Yeah, Tyler's Doug is a drunk stepdad.

407
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,127
- Yikes.
- Yeah.

408
00:20:39,491 --> 00:20:42,403
Well, I'm glad everyone's back
in their regular underwear

409
00:20:42,405 --> 00:20:44,207
and everything's back to normal.

410
00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:47,417
Me, too. And thank you
for cleaning the milking table.

411
00:20:47,419 --> 00:20:49,268
Well, we had quite a week as well.

412
00:20:49,270 --> 00:20:50,289
We sure did.

413
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:52,191
I mean, you got your ass kicked
by a cat.

414
00:20:52,193 --> 00:20:53,905
Well, it was really more of a draw.

415
00:20:53,907 --> 00:20:54,951
Yeah, whatever.

416
00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:57,528
Hey, you want to end the show
with a "To Be Continued" meme?"

417
00:20:57,530 --> 00:20:58,963
I-I don't even know what that...

418
00:20:58,965 --> 00:21:00,260
- (BAZOOKA CLICKS)
- (LOUD BOOM)

419
00:21:00,632 --> 00:21:03,932
_

420
00:21:03,934 --> 00:21:08,934
- Synced and corrected by <font color="#ff0000">Darrow</font> -
- www.addic7ed.com -

