Do you realize this is probably the last time
we're all going to be here in the coffee house
as six single people?
Why, what's happening to the coffee house?
Oh...okay.
Yep, from now on, it's going to be the four of you guys, and me and the missus.
The little woman, the wife, the old ball and chain.
- Ha, old? - The young, hot ball and chain.
- That's much better. - Oh, we got to go.
- Where are you guys going? - We're going to pick up the wedding dress,
then we're going to have lunch with Mom.
Oh...Joey, you're having lunch with my mom?
No, I just heard "lunch."
But, yeah, I can go, sure.
You know, actually, I'm kind of glad they're leaving,
'cause I need to talk to you about something.
- What's up? - Well, this may be a little awkward...
Listen, if you want to borrow money, it's kind of a bad time.
I'm buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
No, it's not that.
Um, now, what I'm going to say to you, I'm not saying as your friend, okay?
I'm saying it as Monica's older brother.
- But you're still my friend. - Not for the next few minutes.
During this time, are you still my best man?
Nope.
- Do I still call you Ross? - Okay...
you guys are getting married tomorrow,
and...and I couldn't be more thrilled for both of you.
But as Monica's older brother, I have to tell you this:
if you ever hurt my little sister...
if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind,
I will hunt you down
and kick your ass.
[LAUGHING]
What? I'm serious.
[LAUGHING]
Hey, dude, stop it, okay? I'm not kidding, here.
Hey, I hear what you're saying, okay?
And thanks for the warning.
No problem.
So are we friends again?
- Yeah. - Okay.
Ahem. You won't believe what Monica's older brother just said to me.
Sync by chocomoon www.addic7ed.com
{an8}♪ So no one told you life was going to be this way ♪
{an8}♪ Your job's a joke, you're broke ♪
{an8}♪ Your love life's D.O.A. ♪
{an8}♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
{an8}♪ When it hasn't been your day ♪
{an8}♪ Your week, your month, or even your year ♪
{an8}♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
{an8}♪ 'Cause you're there for me, too ♪
{an8}What are you doing, Mon?
{an8}I'm making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding.
{an8}That way I can be prepared.
{an8}Mm-hm. What are they?
{an8}Well, so far I have: my bridesmaids' dresses won't get picked up,
{an8}my veil gets lost, or I don't have my "something blue."
{an8}Hey, those are all the things that I'm responsible for.
{an8}I had to go with the odds, Rach.
{an8}Hey, you guys!
{an8}Remember that audition I had a while ago, and I didn't get the part?
{an8}- The commercial? - No.
{an8}- That play? - No.
{an8}- That other play? - No.
{an8}The movie?
{an8}- Yes! - Ooh!
{an8}The one about the pilot and his dog who flies planes?
{an8}No, no, but man, that one hurt. Yeah.
{an8}No, this is the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I.
{an8}Oh, yeah, mm-hmm.
{an8}Back then, you know, we called it "The Great War."
{an8}It really was.
{an8}Well, anyway, the guy they wanted backed out
{an8}and now they want me. I start shooting today!
{an8}Congratulations!
{an8}Wait, you can't start today. Today is the rehearsal dinner.
{an8}Oh, no, I'll be done by then.
{an8}Oh, well, then, way to go, you big movie star!
{an8}I know. All right, I'll see you guys over there. I'm off to fight the Nazis.
{an8}Oh, wait, Joey! We fought the Nazis in World War II, not World War I.
Whoa, okay.
Who was in World War I?
Go ahead.
- You're going to be late, go, go! - Yeah, I'll see you!
Who did we fight in World War I?
- Mexico? - Yes, very good.
Of course.
- Hey, Joey, we're ready. - Yeah, me, too.
Richard, we're ready for you.
Joey Tribbiani. This is Richard Crosby. He's playing Vincent.
- I'm doing my scenes with you? - Nice to meet you, Joey.
Wow, I can't believe this. This is incredible.
I mean, you just won an Oscar.
No, I didn't.
I think you did.
I think I lost, three times.
- Uh, um, cookie, would you... - No.
Okay, we're about an hour away from getting the scene lit,
so, uh, if you guys don't mind, can we run it a couple of times?
Yeah, sure.
Okay, all right, let's do it.
[CLEARING THROAT]
And...action!
- We have to find the rest of the platoon. - Forget the platoon, the platoon is gone!
- What? - The platoon's dead. Face facts, Tony.
So what are we going to do? We have no reinforcements, no food.
No, we still have food in the basement. I saw potatoes and some dry pasta.
Hang on a minute. Joey, you keep touching your face.
Is something wrong?
No, no...
I, uh,
I thought it might be kind of a cool character thing, you know?
He's a...he's a face toucher.
[NO AUDIO]
I don't think so.
Let's take it back to Richard's last line. Action!
We may not have any weapons, but we still have food in the basement.
I saw potatoes and some dry pasta
and a few tins of tuna.
- Honey, we got to go! - Okay,
here's a question you never want to have to ask.
My dad just called and wanted to know if he
could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.
Did he say what kind of neckline he'd be wearing?
No.
Well, I've only met him once but I'm guessing, "plunging."
Yeah, he is more of a "If you've got it, flaunt it" kind of...father.
I don't have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Yes, include more people in this.
Hey, do you realize that at this time
tomorrow we're going to be getting married?
Wait a minute, I have a date tomorrow night.
I just, I can't believe that we made it.
Well, you don't have to sound so surprised.
I'm sorry, but...
- nothing. - What?
Well, honestly, ever since we got engaged,
I've been waiting for something to flip you out.
Honestly...me, too.
- Really? - Yeah,
you know, I keep thinking that something
stupid is going to come up and I'll go all...
well, Chandler.
- But nothing has. - Oh, I'm so glad.
Thank you so much for staying so calm during this.
I mean, it's really, it's made me stay calm.
- I could have been worse. - Okay.
I'll be right there.
[PHONE RINGS]
MONICA [ON MACHINE]: Hi, if you're calling before Saturday,
you've reached Monica and Chandler.
But if you're calling after Saturday, you've reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing!
Please leave a message for the Bings!
[CROWD CHATTERING]
- MONICA: Hey, Maureen, hi! - Hi.
Gosh, Chandler, this is my cousin, Maureen.
We're the Bings.
Hi, oh, you guys look so beautiful.
Mr. and Mrs. Bing.
Wow, Monica...
Hey, just so you know, I had my "older brother talk" with Chandler.
- What is that? - Well, I...
I told him that if he ever hurt you,
I would hunt him down and kick his ass.
[LAUGHTER]
What, what is the matter with everybody? I'm serious,
I would kick his ass.
[SCREAMING LAUGHTER]
Oh, Ross, please, my makeup!
Hi...
- Chandler! - Mom.
Thanks for wearing... something.
Oh, honey, this is so exciting. I thought we'd
screwed you up so bad this day would never come.
And just think...soon there'll be lots of little Bings.
I can't believe I have to go back to work after this and get spit on again.
Well, you're lucky. At least the people that spit on you are famous.
- Who spits on you? - I don't want to talk about work.
Mrs. Bing, these are my parents, Judy and Jack Geller.
- It's lovely to meet you. - So, are you his mother or his father?
Jack!
What, I've never seen one before.
Dad, there's Ross. Why don't you go talk to him?
I didn't even have a chance to act as though I'm okay with it.
Hello, all.
Hi, Dad.
Hi, Mr. Bing.
- Nora. - Charles.
- It's so great to see you both here. - Yes.
Although I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people.
Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Oh, my God.
Of course you can kick his ass, son.
You could kick anyone's ass you want to.
Thanks, you guys.
- Oh, Rach, Rach... - Yeah?
Hey, could you do me a favor, and would you talk to
Chandler's dad and try to keep him away from Chandler's mom?
Yeah, but I don't know what he looks like.
He is the man in the black dress.
Man in the black...
Hi, I'm Rachel. I'm a friend of Monica and Chandler's.
- I'm Amanda. - Oh, I get it.
"A-man-duh!"
[LAUGHING]
[ROSS CLINKING GLASS]
Could I have everyone's attention, please?
- Uh, I'm, uh, I'm Ross Geller. - Dr. Ross Geller!
Dad, please. As I was saying,
I'm Dr. Ross Geller,
uh, and I'm the best man,
and this marriage is doubly special for me,
um, because not only is the groom my best friend,
but, uh, the bride is my little sister...
and she's the greatest sister a guy could ask for.
So if you'd all please join me in raising a glass
to the couple we're here to celebrate...
- To the Bings. - ALL: To the Bings!
I'm going to go steam my wedding dress, okay?
Who wants the responsibility of making sure nothing happens to it?
- I'll do it. - Who wants it? Anybody?
- I said I'll do it. - Nobody wants to do it?
- All right, I'll do it myself. - Monica, I'm not going to screw it up.
You know what? You're right, I'm sorry. Actually, you were a big help tonight.
Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the
cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.
Well, of course, that's what I'm here for.
Okay, sorry.
Ugh! Pssh.
What grandmother?
- Hey, where have you been? - Taking my parents back to the hotel.
- Are you going back to work? - Yeah.
- Nice shades. - Thanks,
I figure if I wear these in my scenes,
at least I won't get spit in my eyes, you know?
And, if I remember correctly, Ray-Ban was the official sponsor of World War I.
Great! All right.
- I'll see you later. - All right.
- Hey, where's Chandler? - I think he's in Rachel's room. See you.
Chandler. Chandler?
[KNOCKING]
- Hey. - Hi.
- Is, uh...is Monica here? - She's steaming her dress. Why, what's up?
- I think Chandler's gone. - What?
- He left that. - "Tell Monica I'm sorry."
Oh, my God.
What's up?
"Tell Monica I'm sorry."
Tell her yourself.
Oh, my God. Chandler just left though?
Yeah, but maybe it's not what we think. Maybe it's...
"Tell Monica I'm sorry... I drank the last of the milk."
Or maybe he was writing to tell her that... that he's changed his name, you know.
"Tell Monica, I'm Sorry."
- I think it means he freaked out and left. - Don't be so negative.
Good God, isn't it possible that "Sorry" is sitting in there right now?
Okay, Phoebe...I think Ross is right. What are we going to do?
Look, okay, I'm just going to...I'm going to
have to go find him and bring him back, okay?
You make sure Monica does not find out, okay?
Okay, but, if you don't find him and bring him back,
I am going to hunt you down and kick your ass.
[SCOFFS]
I will...I will find him.
Joey, can you go through these lines with me?
Oh, man, they just re-did my makeup.
- Just the last two pages. - All right.
I found the picture.
The picture? What picture?
The picture of my wife I found in your pack.
Could you, uh...could you lower the script?
I don't want to.
I need to see your face so I can play off your reaction.
Okay, look, um...
I know you're this great actor and you play all those Shakespeare guys and stuff,
but you're spitting all over me, man.
- Well, of course I am. - You know you've been spitting on me?
That's what real actors do.
Enunciation is the mark of a good actor.
And when you enunciate... you spit.
Wow. Didn't know that.
Thanks. Okay, okay, check it out.
Picture? What picture?
[SPITS]
Huh?
Gunther, have you, uh, have you seen Chandler?
No, no, I haven't seen him.
- Oh, damn. - He's getting married tomorrow, right?
Yes, yes. Don't worry, everything's fine.
- We'll see you tomorrow at the wedding. - I wasn't invited.
Well, then, we'll see you the day after tomorrow.
Mom? Dad?
Wha...what are you guys doing here?
Well, you kids talk about this place so much,
we thought we'd see what the fuss is all about.
I certainly see why the girls like
- coming here. - Why?
The sexy blonde behind the counter.
- Gunther? - Your mother just added him to her list.
What? Your list?
Yeah, the list of people we're allowed to sleep...
No, no, I know, I know what the list is.
Come on, sit down, have a cup of joe.
Dad, I can't. I'm sorry.
Look, if you see Chandler, could you just let him know that I'm looking for him?
And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know I'm looking for her.
DIRECTOR: Action!
I found the picture.
What picture?
A picture of my wife, in your pack.
You went through my personal property?
Why do you have a picture of Paulette in your pack?
Because, Vincent, we were lovers...
for two years.
DIRECTOR: Cut. Wonderful.
Great scene, huh?
You were awesome, man. And that last speech, you soaked me.
- Thanks a lot. - Here's your call sheet for tomorrow.
Oh, I'm not working tomorrow.
- You are now. - Oh, no, I can't.
You got to get me out of it.
I have plans, important plans.
Ross said there's still no word from Chandler.
Oh, man.
Oh, but he did say that they found the grandmother wandering down Fifth Avenue.
Okay, well, there's one down.
I'm getting married today...!
Think I just cracked a rib. But I don't care,
because today's my wedding day!
My day is finally here!
You know, she might not even notice he's gone.
I'm going to start getting ready!
We can't let her start getting ready. This is too awful.
Shh.
Oh, God, but wait, she'll be in the gown, and then he won't show up,
and then she's going to have to take off the gown, and it's just...
Stop it, stop it, Rachel. You can't do this here.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's just... it's just so sad.
You've got to pull yourself together. Monica can't see you like this.
- Then she'll know something's wrong. - I know, I know.
There's no tissue.
Can you grab me some toilet paper?
Oh, that's gone, too. This is Monica's bathroom, right?
- I found one. - Okay.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, God.
Can I have another one?
Sure.
Do you need some floss?
Oh, God, I just cannot imagine what is going
to happen if Chandler doesn't show up.
Oh, here's a whole bunch.
I mean, she's going to be at the wedding, waiting for him,
and people will be whispering, "Oh, that poor girl."
You know, and then she'll have to come back here and live all alone.
- Oh, my God. - What?
There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and it's positive.
Monica's pregnant.
So I guess she won't be totally alone.
{an8}NARRATOR: Next time on "Friends"...
{an8}- We've got to tell her that he's gone. - No! Hey, hey, we can't!
{an8}She's going to start getting ready soon.
{an8}Can't you at least stall her a little?
{an8}I'm never going to get married!
{an8}We've just got one short scene, it's just you and Richard,
{an8}and, God knows, he's a pro.
{an8}- Are you drunk? - No!
{an8}- Yes, you are. - All right.
{an8}- Hey, how's Chandler doing? - Great.
{an8}- Where are you? - I'm still on the set.
{an8}This is turning into the worst wedding day ever.
Sync by chocomoon www.addic7ed.com