1
00:00:00,733 --> 00:00:02,616
All right, we're off to the meeting.

2
00:00:02,641 --> 00:00:05,509
Have fun or cry, or
whatever you guys do.

3
00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:08,820
I have fun making other people cry.

4
00:00:10,203 --> 00:00:13,705
- Did you find your keys yet?
- Oh, yeah. Ten minutes ago.

5
00:00:13,707 --> 00:00:16,523
Now I'm just crawling
around looking for snacks.

6
00:00:17,427 --> 00:00:18,793
I told you a million times,

7
00:00:18,795 --> 00:00:20,378
- if you put your keys in the same...
- Bup-bup-bup.

8
00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:22,213
Maybe I left them upstairs.

9
00:00:22,215 --> 00:00:24,382
(sportscaster speaking
indistinctly on TV)

10
00:00:24,384 --> 00:00:27,100
At some point tonight,
between hockey fights,

11
00:00:27,125 --> 00:00:28,812
could you throw away your tuna sandwich

12
00:00:28,837 --> 00:00:30,031
that's been sitting there since lunch?

13
00:00:30,056 --> 00:00:32,500
- I'll get to it.
- Will you, though?

14
00:00:32,525 --> 00:00:34,742
'Cause "I'll get to it" has
kind of been your motto lately,

15
00:00:34,767 --> 00:00:36,684
only things never actually get got to.

16
00:00:37,083 --> 00:00:39,343
If it bothers you so
much, why don't you do it?

17
00:00:39,368 --> 00:00:40,984
'Cause I told you to do it.

18
00:00:42,690 --> 00:00:44,796
(chuckles softly) I was
actually gonna do it,

19
00:00:44,821 --> 00:00:47,882
but... you just made it a thing.

20
00:00:48,896 --> 00:00:50,148
It's only a thing

21
00:00:50,173 --> 00:00:53,195
'cause you made it a thing, thing maker.

22
00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:57,529
Couldn't find them. I
promise I will put everything

23
00:00:57,554 --> 00:00:59,098
back in the closet when we get home.

24
00:00:59,123 --> 00:01:01,500
Better do it right away,
or it could become a thing.

25
00:01:02,898 --> 00:01:04,211
Mom, can you just drive?

26
00:01:04,213 --> 00:01:06,213
Unbelievable... you can't
keep track of your keys,

27
00:01:06,215 --> 00:01:07,515
so I get inconvenienced.

28
00:01:07,540 --> 00:01:09,757
Oh, look... I found your keys.

29
00:01:10,765 --> 00:01:12,035
Why do you have them?

30
00:01:12,037 --> 00:01:14,037
I borrowed your car to go to the store

31
00:01:14,039 --> 00:01:16,423
(mumbling): when I couldn't
find my keys. Anyway...

32
00:01:16,828 --> 00:01:17,958
you drive.

33
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,543
Oh, and you're on empty.

34
00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:24,431
- I'll try not to kill her.
- Whatever happens, happens.

35
00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:26,850
♪ ♪

36
00:01:27,930 --> 00:01:29,429
(groans) Nice work... You made us late

37
00:01:29,454 --> 00:01:31,321
and now Wendy's in my seat.

38
00:01:31,346 --> 00:01:34,492
- It's not your seat.
- Yeah, not today, thanks to you.

39
00:01:35,339 --> 00:01:37,968
I need my sponsor. I need my sponsor.

40
00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:41,234
You will never guess
what my mother just did.

41
00:01:41,259 --> 00:01:43,382
You do realize that's how you say hello.

42
00:01:44,243 --> 00:01:46,851
- I'm sorry. Hello.
- Hi.

43
00:01:48,117 --> 00:01:50,617
You will never guess
what my mother just did.

44
00:01:51,033 --> 00:01:53,671
Instead of diving into that
all-too-familiar pool of resentment,

45
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:54,843
let me ask you something.

46
00:01:54,868 --> 00:01:56,535
You're 40 years old, right?

47
00:01:56,847 --> 00:01:58,664
Not on Tinder.

48
00:01:59,793 --> 00:02:03,093
- You have a... a job?
- Yes. Mm-hmm.

49
00:02:03,118 --> 00:02:05,953
And your mother drives
you absolutely bananas.

50
00:02:05,978 --> 00:02:09,636
- Oh, yeah.
- So why do you still live with her?

51
00:02:10,473 --> 00:02:12,066
BONNIE: Wendy, I think you're
sitting on something.

52
00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:14,375
- Oh, what?
- My chair.

53
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,634
Did you see what your mother just did?

54
00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:23,367
I know. Why the hell do
I still live with her?

55
00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:34,632
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

56
00:02:54,664 --> 00:02:57,515
What is happening today?
Now you're stealing my seat?

57
00:02:57,540 --> 00:02:58,839
I am middle.

58
00:02:58,968 --> 00:03:00,101
What does it matter?

59
00:03:00,126 --> 00:03:02,460
That way I can have fries
no matter who orders them.

60
00:03:03,272 --> 00:03:04,476
Fine.

61
00:03:07,403 --> 00:03:09,390
- Wait, I have to pee. Get up.
- Oh!

62
00:03:12,181 --> 00:03:14,565
That's why I like sitting next to you...

63
00:03:14,567 --> 00:03:16,640
You have the bladder of a camel.

64
00:03:17,485 --> 00:03:20,421
And the outsides of a much
more attractive animal.

65
00:03:22,755 --> 00:03:24,371
Do you guys think it's weird

66
00:03:24,396 --> 00:03:26,335
that I still live with my mother?

67
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,509
I mean, she's asking,
so we can answer, right?

68
00:03:31,534 --> 00:03:33,914
She opened the door... Walk on through.

69
00:03:34,421 --> 00:03:38,005
Okay, it's kind of like
if you hated muffins,

70
00:03:38,007 --> 00:03:40,929
but you decided to live
in a muffin factory.

71
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:43,677
Oh, I'd love to live
in a muffin factory.

72
00:03:43,679 --> 00:03:46,447
What is a muffin factory?
Isn't it just a bakery?

73
00:03:46,449 --> 00:03:48,309
"Bakery" implies that
there'd also be bread.

74
00:03:48,334 --> 00:03:50,168
We don't have a lot of time!

75
00:03:52,187 --> 00:03:54,889
Yes. You living with
your mother is weird.

76
00:03:54,891 --> 00:03:56,307
Really weird.

77
00:03:56,309 --> 00:03:58,171
Like "people talk about it" weird.

78
00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:00,772
But not us.

79
00:04:01,156 --> 00:04:02,563
What do you think?

80
00:04:02,565 --> 00:04:05,921
Well, when you were both
getting sober, it made sense.

81
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:08,359
But, uh, time has passed.

82
00:04:08,788 --> 00:04:11,238
A lot of time has passed.

83
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,467
- Are you moving out?
- I'm not sure.

84
00:04:14,492 --> 00:04:16,794
Nora told me to figure
out what my options are,

85
00:04:16,796 --> 00:04:18,875
but I think I'm too poor for options.

86
00:04:19,242 --> 00:04:20,664
Christy...

87
00:04:20,666 --> 00:04:22,917
I see you fishing for an invitation,

88
00:04:22,919 --> 00:04:25,240
and I love you like sweet tea,

89
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,005
but living together
always ruins a friendship.

90
00:04:28,007 --> 00:04:30,424
You know, the way
children ruin a marriage.

91
00:04:31,656 --> 00:04:34,929
- There's plenty of room at my house.
- Oh, yeah, do that.

92
00:04:34,931 --> 00:04:36,429
One of my roommates is moving out

93
00:04:36,454 --> 00:04:38,684
'cause she "fell in love."

94
00:04:40,089 --> 00:04:41,472
I don't know.

95
00:04:41,497 --> 00:04:43,828
Maybe moving is more
trouble than it's worth.

96
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,440
- Fee-fi-fo-fum.
- (door closes)

97
00:04:46,442 --> 00:04:47,523
Up.

98
00:04:51,601 --> 00:04:54,456
Oh, damn it, I forgot to put
money in the meter. Up again.

99
00:04:57,603 --> 00:04:59,784
So, would I get my own bathroom?

100
00:04:59,809 --> 00:05:01,245
♪ ♪

101
00:05:01,270 --> 00:05:02,790
Hurry up, Bonnie!

102
00:05:02,792 --> 00:05:03,932
BONNIE: Hey!

103
00:05:03,957 --> 00:05:05,971
Perfection takes time.

104
00:05:09,682 --> 00:05:12,384
You know... while you were waiting,

105
00:05:12,409 --> 00:05:14,331
you could have thrown
away that sandwich.

106
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,889
Could have.

107
00:05:17,006 --> 00:05:18,354
Didn't.

108
00:05:19,549 --> 00:05:21,035
Are you gonna get dressed?

109
00:05:21,060 --> 00:05:22,309
I am dressed.

110
00:05:23,112 --> 00:05:24,331
You're wearing a T-shirt.

111
00:05:24,356 --> 00:05:27,807
And pants and shoes and... let's go.

112
00:05:28,448 --> 00:05:30,423
You know what that T-shirt says to me?

113
00:05:30,448 --> 00:05:31,901
It says "the woman I'm with

114
00:05:31,926 --> 00:05:33,549
isn't worth buttons and sleeves."

115
00:05:34,753 --> 00:05:38,385
To me, it says the
"University of North Dakota."

116
00:05:39,829 --> 00:05:41,385
I'd like you to change.

117
00:05:41,410 --> 00:05:43,604
My clothes or who I am?

118
00:05:44,305 --> 00:05:45,557
Both.

119
00:05:47,737 --> 00:05:49,470
Not happening.

120
00:05:49,472 --> 00:05:52,635
Well, then I am no longer
in the mood for dinner.

121
00:05:53,612 --> 00:05:56,307
- But I'm starving.
- Then eat your sandwich!

122
00:05:57,698 --> 00:06:01,181
♪ ♪

123
00:06:01,183 --> 00:06:04,351
So, Christy, what'd
you think of the place?

124
00:06:04,353 --> 00:06:05,799
I love it.

125
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,157
There's so much light and...

126
00:06:08,364 --> 00:06:09,924
hope.

127
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,320
We won't charge extra for that.

128
00:06:12,345 --> 00:06:14,581
(both laugh)

129
00:06:15,364 --> 00:06:17,831
It gets better... It's
Peter's night to cook,

130
00:06:17,833 --> 00:06:19,533
and he makes his own pasta.

131
00:06:19,535 --> 00:06:21,702
Wow. A fireplace, hardwood floors

132
00:06:21,704 --> 00:06:23,537
and homemade pasta?

133
00:06:23,831 --> 00:06:26,122
- I'm getting lightheaded.
- Are you a diabetic?

134
00:06:26,147 --> 00:06:28,092
Have you traveled to
any tropical countries

135
00:06:28,094 --> 00:06:29,426
in the last six months?

136
00:06:30,315 --> 00:06:31,962
It's just my socially awkward way

137
00:06:31,964 --> 00:06:33,401
of saying I'm happy.

138
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:35,071
Oh, got it. Sorry.

139
00:06:35,096 --> 00:06:37,503
We're kind of in nurse
mode all the time.

140
00:06:37,528 --> 00:06:39,887
Well, I can't afford health insurance,

141
00:06:39,889 --> 00:06:41,792
so that's another plus.

142
00:06:43,026 --> 00:06:44,308
Mmm.

143
00:06:44,310 --> 00:06:46,010
Peter, this is delicious.

144
00:06:46,035 --> 00:06:48,946
Oh. Cooking relaxes me...
Which I really needed

145
00:06:48,948 --> 00:06:51,276
after a day of assisting Dr. Clevenger.

146
00:06:51,301 --> 00:06:52,440
The worst.

147
00:06:52,465 --> 00:06:54,735
So full of himself. Like
he's the only surgeon

148
00:06:54,737 --> 00:06:58,401
who's ever resected a bowel without
spilling fecal matter into the abdomen.

149
00:07:02,834 --> 00:07:05,542
I helped him remove a
giant tumor the other day...

150
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:07,267
It burst like a water balloon.

151
00:07:07,371 --> 00:07:09,151
Larry slipped in the pus.

152
00:07:09,176 --> 00:07:10,728
(laughter)

153
00:07:10,753 --> 00:07:12,252
More sauce?

154
00:07:12,254 --> 00:07:13,799
I'm good.

155
00:07:15,505 --> 00:07:18,006
So, is that an apple tree out back?

156
00:07:18,253 --> 00:07:20,094
Yeah. In the fall, we make cider.

157
00:07:20,096 --> 00:07:21,311
CHRISTY: Oh.

158
00:07:21,313 --> 00:07:23,690
Apple cider by the fireplace.

159
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,959
How wonderful.

160
00:07:25,984 --> 00:07:28,317
Remember when that
teenager came into the E.R.

161
00:07:28,342 --> 00:07:30,809
with the apple lodged in his eye socket?

162
00:07:30,834 --> 00:07:32,565
PETER (laughs): Oh, yeah. Yeah.

163
00:07:32,590 --> 00:07:35,182
His friend shot it out of
an air cannon, and boom,

164
00:07:35,207 --> 00:07:38,745
nothing but apple sauce and ocular
fluid oozing out of the hole.

165
00:07:40,116 --> 00:07:41,571
Oh, boy.

166
00:07:42,441 --> 00:07:43,907
This is so fun.

167
00:07:44,454 --> 00:07:47,015
If you live here, we
can do this every night.

168
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,702
Ooh. And when we extracted

169
00:07:48,727 --> 00:07:50,645
the apple, the ocular nerve

170
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:53,188
came stretching out like a rubber band.

171
00:07:55,813 --> 00:07:58,048
(gags): Where's your bathroom?

172
00:07:58,050 --> 00:08:00,267
♪ ♪

173
00:08:00,269 --> 00:08:02,636
He won't throw away the damn sandwich.

174
00:08:02,638 --> 00:08:05,022
It's been four days... if
it's still there tomorrow,

175
00:08:05,024 --> 00:08:07,602
I think I'm within my
rights to set him on fire.

176
00:08:07,964 --> 00:08:09,330
Why didn't you share about it?

177
00:08:09,587 --> 00:08:12,196
Maybe she knows how
ridiculous it sounds.

178
00:08:12,198 --> 00:08:14,615
This used to be a safe space, Marjorie.

179
00:08:14,617 --> 00:08:16,844
And then you started
coming and we've adjusted.

180
00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:18,702
Pow!

181
00:08:18,704 --> 00:08:21,110
Hit her back, Bonnie...
This is getting good.

182
00:08:21,490 --> 00:08:23,140
I'm genuinely worried.

183
00:08:23,165 --> 00:08:24,541
Boyfriend Adam made an effort,

184
00:08:24,543 --> 00:08:26,710
Fiancé Adam is slacking off.

185
00:08:26,712 --> 00:08:28,829
At this rate, Husband Adam will only be

186
00:08:28,831 --> 00:08:31,782
hockey games, ball scratches and farts.

187
00:08:32,168 --> 00:08:33,967
At least you'll be married.

188
00:08:34,212 --> 00:08:37,137
Will I? We set a date, but
we haven't told anybody...

189
00:08:37,139 --> 00:08:38,813
I can still wiggle out of this.

190
00:08:38,838 --> 00:08:40,621
Over a sandwich.

191
00:08:41,219 --> 00:08:43,790
Safe space, Marjorie, safe space.

192
00:08:44,134 --> 00:08:46,063
Ralph's watching the
kids... I'm a free woman.

193
00:08:46,065 --> 00:08:47,860
I can go nuts, as long
as I'm home by 9:30.

194
00:08:47,885 --> 00:08:49,493
(laughs)

195
00:08:49,518 --> 00:08:51,866
Oh. Okay. Um, you know what?

196
00:08:51,891 --> 00:08:53,572
I'm gonna meet you
there. I have a feeling

197
00:08:53,597 --> 00:08:55,009
this one is hovering with a purpose.

198
00:08:56,575 --> 00:08:58,196
Sorry. Mm.

199
00:08:58,221 --> 00:08:59,477
Okay...

200
00:08:59,502 --> 00:09:00,766
- I did what you said.
- Mm-hmm.

201
00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:03,094
- I looked at my other options.
- Good for you.

202
00:09:03,415 --> 00:09:05,082
I can afford a studio apartment

203
00:09:05,084 --> 00:09:06,876
that used to be a guest bathroom,

204
00:09:06,901 --> 00:09:09,036
a basement out of Silence of the Lambs

205
00:09:09,038 --> 00:09:12,089
or I can move into a
gorgeous house with Wendy

206
00:09:12,091 --> 00:09:13,694
and never eat again.

207
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:15,236
So... ?

208
00:09:15,469 --> 00:09:17,477
None of them are better
than what I've got now,

209
00:09:17,502 --> 00:09:20,214
so I guess I'm stuck living with my mom.

210
00:09:20,216 --> 00:09:22,923
No. You're choosing to live with her.

211
00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:26,415
Well, I wouldn't use those words.

212
00:09:26,805 --> 00:09:29,274
- I'm gonna need you to.
- Why?

213
00:09:29,299 --> 00:09:31,438
Because if you're
stuck, you're a victim.

214
00:09:31,463 --> 00:09:33,413
There's power in making a choice.

215
00:09:33,438 --> 00:09:34,759
So I want to hear you say,

216
00:09:34,784 --> 00:09:37,180
"I'm choosing to live with my mother""

217
00:09:38,742 --> 00:09:40,071
(sighs): Fine.

218
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:43,204
I am choosing to live with my mother.

219
00:09:45,509 --> 00:09:47,291
You thought that was
gonna be hard for me,

220
00:09:47,293 --> 00:09:48,575
but it really wasn't.

221
00:09:48,577 --> 00:09:50,971
I am choosing to live with my mother.

222
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,876
- Great. Then you got to be nice to her.
- What?

223
00:09:55,884 --> 00:09:58,609
You expect me to live with
my mother and be nice to her?

224
00:09:58,634 --> 00:10:00,887
Why don't you just ask me
to solve global warming?

225
00:10:00,889 --> 00:10:02,290
Well, if you can do that, you
need to go ahead and do it,

226
00:10:02,315 --> 00:10:04,933
- but right now let's focus on your mom.
- Ugh!

227
00:10:04,958 --> 00:10:06,313
Yeah, but that's what I'm talking about.

228
00:10:06,338 --> 00:10:08,622
That "ugh" stuff has got to stop.

229
00:10:08,647 --> 00:10:11,298
But that's what comes out
when I focus on my mother.

230
00:10:11,323 --> 00:10:13,517
In the program, we talk about
being loving and tolerant.

231
00:10:13,519 --> 00:10:15,180
When it comes to your
mother, you are neither.

232
00:10:15,205 --> 00:10:16,655
Ugh!

233
00:10:16,939 --> 00:10:19,110
Just to be clear, that
one was directed at you.

234
00:10:19,135 --> 00:10:20,685
♪ ♪

235
00:10:22,564 --> 00:10:25,937
Wait. Exactly how nice to
my mother do I have to be?

236
00:10:25,962 --> 00:10:29,296
Because I feel like any day I
don't hit her with a rock is a win.

237
00:10:29,298 --> 00:10:32,618
Well, for starters, you can't talk
about wanting to hit her with a rock.

238
00:10:33,305 --> 00:10:35,415
It doesn't have to be a rock.

239
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:38,391
I don't want you to say mean
things to her or about her.

240
00:10:38,416 --> 00:10:40,485
I need you to be kind all the time.

241
00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:43,751
- But I don't...
- Be kind, be kind, be kind.

242
00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:45,501
But if I keep all my hate inside,

243
00:10:45,526 --> 00:10:47,360
I'm gonna pop... I'm not that big.

244
00:10:47,984 --> 00:10:49,657
You're gonna keep it all inside.

245
00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:51,844
Every time you're angry at your mom,

246
00:10:51,869 --> 00:10:54,016
I want you to do something nice for her.

247
00:10:54,706 --> 00:10:56,275
That's crazy.

248
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:58,766
I'll be doing nice things
for her all the time.

249
00:10:59,245 --> 00:11:01,766
That's right. And
here's the tricky part.

250
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:04,208
You haven't told me the tricky part yet?

251
00:11:04,233 --> 00:11:06,483
You can't tell her
the nice things you do,

252
00:11:06,508 --> 00:11:08,062
or anybody else, including me.

253
00:11:08,087 --> 00:11:09,180
I don't want to hear it.

254
00:11:09,205 --> 00:11:10,985
Wait, I don't even get credit?

255
00:11:11,010 --> 00:11:13,134
(scoffs) I changed my mind.

256
00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:16,298
I'll live in Wendy's
house of oozing eyeballs.

257
00:11:17,188 --> 00:11:20,048
The point is, to feel love,

258
00:11:20,073 --> 00:11:22,102
you have to do love.

259
00:11:23,384 --> 00:11:25,319
Hi, see you later. Hey, guys.

260
00:11:25,321 --> 00:11:27,337
- See you in a minute.
- Oh, good.

261
00:11:27,362 --> 00:11:28,862
You're doing all your whining to her.

262
00:11:28,887 --> 00:11:30,907
Then we won't have to
hear it at the bistro.

263
00:11:30,932 --> 00:11:32,682
Kiss my ass, Mom!

264
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,766
Oh, am I supposed to start now?

265
00:11:37,084 --> 00:11:39,334
♪ ♪

266
00:11:41,883 --> 00:11:44,100
- Morning.
- Morning.

267
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:46,798
Where'd the coffee go?

268
00:11:46,823 --> 00:11:48,740
I started a pot before I took my shower.

269
00:11:48,765 --> 00:11:51,321
- I drank it.
- The whole pot?

270
00:11:52,631 --> 00:11:56,501
Great. I hope you enjoyed it.

271
00:11:56,526 --> 00:11:57,692
Meh.

272
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:02,923
I like your boots.

273
00:12:02,925 --> 00:12:04,558
You can't have 'em.

274
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:07,344
What the hell would I
do with gigantic work...

275
00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:10,196
So, what are you up to today, Mom?

276
00:12:11,669 --> 00:12:13,266
I'm going to the Home Depot.

277
00:12:14,173 --> 00:12:16,042
That sounds exciting.

278
00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:18,743
Compared to your life, sure.

279
00:12:19,586 --> 00:12:21,419
Good one, Mom.

280
00:12:21,444 --> 00:12:24,188
You sure have a fun energy.

281
00:12:25,781 --> 00:12:28,626
Well, I've got a pot of
coffee in me. That helps.

282
00:12:28,651 --> 00:12:30,951
- Later.
- Bye.

283
00:12:31,587 --> 00:12:33,790
I hope you have a super day.

284
00:12:34,907 --> 00:12:37,257
Drinks all the freakin' coffee I made.

285
00:12:37,282 --> 00:12:39,985
Maybe I want some of the
freakin' coffee I made.

286
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:41,426
No, no, no. No.

287
00:12:41,691 --> 00:12:45,485
Do something nice. Do something nice.

288
00:12:46,283 --> 00:12:49,001
Like pick up her sweater
that she dumped in the fruit bowl.

289
00:12:49,026 --> 00:12:51,309
'Cause that's where that belongs.

290
00:12:51,334 --> 00:12:53,821
Probably shoves her
socks in the crisper.

291
00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:57,778
She is the most selfish,
inconsiderate, petty,

292
00:12:57,780 --> 00:13:01,055
narcissistic, lazy,
coffee-hogging monster.

293
00:13:03,063 --> 00:13:06,040
Well, I can't put this
perfectly folded sweater

294
00:13:06,065 --> 00:13:07,954
on this catastrophe of a bed.

295
00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:16,251
I am a spiritual giant.

296
00:13:16,632 --> 00:13:18,882
♪ ♪

297
00:13:21,791 --> 00:13:23,555
Oh, when did you get here?

298
00:13:23,580 --> 00:13:25,630
Uh, just a few minutes
ago. Where's your mom?

299
00:13:25,655 --> 00:13:28,930
- She went to Home Depot.
- Home Depot? I'm gonna need a beer.

300
00:13:29,657 --> 00:13:31,532
- I'll get it.
- Thanks.

301
00:13:31,557 --> 00:13:34,251
So your mom's been a real
pain in the ass lately, huh?

302
00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:37,484
Uh...

303
00:13:37,486 --> 00:13:38,348
No.

304
00:13:38,373 --> 00:13:40,418
Come on, that's why I came over early,

305
00:13:40,443 --> 00:13:41,943
so we could both vent.

306
00:13:41,968 --> 00:13:43,935
It's like our tiny support group.

307
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,239
Bonnie Anonymous.

308
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:50,869
I... love my mom.

309
00:13:51,136 --> 00:13:53,567
That is why I choose
to live here with her.

310
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:57,621
Oh, God, is she behind me?

311
00:13:59,592 --> 00:14:01,574
Can't I say nice things about my mom

312
00:14:01,599 --> 00:14:02,910
without it being weird?

313
00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:04,364
I don't think so.

314
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:08,207
Whoa, leave that. It's still in play.

315
00:14:08,551 --> 00:14:11,317
Really? It's been sitting here for days.

316
00:14:11,342 --> 00:14:13,259
It smells so bad, even Gus won't eat it.

317
00:14:13,389 --> 00:14:15,043
Look, whoever throws away that sandwich

318
00:14:15,068 --> 00:14:16,801
will be the weak one in our marriage,

319
00:14:16,826 --> 00:14:19,160
forever, till the day we die.

320
00:14:19,562 --> 00:14:22,262
Your vows are gonna be amazing.

321
00:14:23,442 --> 00:14:25,732
Well, I got stuck in line
behind a lesbian couple

322
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,568
building a deck.

323
00:14:29,382 --> 00:14:31,824
- Hey.
- Hey.

324
00:14:32,598 --> 00:14:34,785
(scoffs) I'm gonna go take a shower.

325
00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:37,477
Not that we dress for
dinner around here.

326
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,135
There are over 40 places in this town

327
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,691
that are okay with a T-shirt.

328
00:14:40,716 --> 00:14:44,396
- I Yelped!
- "I Yelped." I'll make you yelp.

329
00:14:46,543 --> 00:14:48,512
Aw...

330
00:14:48,950 --> 00:14:51,098
look what he did.

331
00:14:52,353 --> 00:14:55,287
Hey, after I shower,

332
00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:57,880
how 'bout we catch that
movie you wanted to see?

333
00:14:58,426 --> 00:15:00,770
The one with the fighting robots?

334
00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:02,232
Yeah.

335
00:15:02,754 --> 00:15:04,707
Wow. Okay.

336
00:15:05,357 --> 00:15:06,689
Thanks.

337
00:15:07,243 --> 00:15:08,689
And then how about I change my shirt

338
00:15:08,714 --> 00:15:09,947
so we can go to dinner, too?

339
00:15:09,972 --> 00:15:11,471
Really?

340
00:15:11,947 --> 00:15:14,962
That would be nice. Thank you.

341
00:15:14,987 --> 00:15:16,603
You're welcome.

342
00:15:21,624 --> 00:15:24,322
♪ ♪

343
00:15:24,347 --> 00:15:25,861
I'm telling you, this last week,

344
00:15:25,886 --> 00:15:27,626
Adam has been a totally different guy.

345
00:15:27,651 --> 00:15:29,151
Every time I turn around, boom,

346
00:15:29,176 --> 00:15:30,709
he's done another nice thing.

347
00:15:30,734 --> 00:15:31,705
Mmm.

348
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:33,230
He keeps making the bed,

349
00:15:33,255 --> 00:15:35,728
he's done the laundry
twice, he even vacuumed.

350
00:15:35,753 --> 00:15:38,304
He's like a maid you can have sex with.

351
00:15:39,376 --> 00:15:41,423
Best part, he never says a word.

352
00:15:41,448 --> 00:15:43,962
Doesn't need the credit.
That's how amazing he is.

353
00:15:46,409 --> 00:15:48,442
Hey, this is silk.

354
00:15:48,984 --> 00:15:51,486
Well, bring it over to our house.

355
00:15:51,511 --> 00:15:53,337
Maybe Adam can clean it for you,

356
00:15:53,362 --> 00:15:55,478
without taking credit.

357
00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:57,595
Christy, are you okay?

358
00:15:57,620 --> 00:16:00,306
I'm fine. I just got a tough chicken.

359
00:16:01,853 --> 00:16:05,031
Well, I'm glad Adam is making an effort

360
00:16:05,056 --> 00:16:07,087
so you don't have to die alone.

361
00:16:07,492 --> 00:16:10,212
- Jury's still out on that.
- Why?

362
00:16:11,009 --> 00:16:13,000
Because... there's a little part of me

363
00:16:13,025 --> 00:16:15,244
that thinks this is a trap...
I mean, like, what if he's doing

364
00:16:15,269 --> 00:16:17,501
all these nice things to trick
me into picking up the sandwich?

365
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,369
Yeah. Or you could just take
the nice things he's doing

366
00:16:20,394 --> 00:16:23,564
at face value, and not assume
people are out to get you.

367
00:16:23,589 --> 00:16:26,658
Sure. I'll just jump on the
bullet train to Chump Town.

368
00:16:27,332 --> 00:16:29,799
Lot of happy marriages in Chump Town.

369
00:16:30,075 --> 00:16:32,697
♪ ♪

370
00:16:32,722 --> 00:16:34,506
I'm not arguing with you,

371
00:16:34,531 --> 00:16:37,009
I am just saying you
are completely wrong.

372
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,947
The nicer I am, the angrier I get.

373
00:16:39,972 --> 00:16:42,222
It's only been a week... Give it time.

374
00:16:42,287 --> 00:16:44,504
I know you told me that
I couldn't take credit,

375
00:16:44,506 --> 00:16:46,970
but you didn't tell me that I
would have to watch someone else

376
00:16:46,995 --> 00:16:49,879
get credit day after
day after day after day.

377
00:16:50,035 --> 00:16:51,400
After day!

378
00:16:51,986 --> 00:16:54,290
Oh. That must be hard.

379
00:16:54,315 --> 00:16:55,909
That's what I'm saying.

380
00:16:55,934 --> 00:16:57,384
Too bad. Keep doing it.

381
00:16:57,386 --> 00:16:58,345
Now, I got to go.

382
00:16:58,370 --> 00:17:00,712
- But what if I...
- I really got to go.

383
00:17:00,773 --> 00:17:03,220
NEWSMAN: And now with the
weather, here's Nora Rogers.

384
00:17:03,245 --> 00:17:04,961
Hope you got those jackets ready,

385
00:17:04,986 --> 00:17:06,751
'cause tonight's gonna
be a chilly one. Uh-huh.

386
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,673
And going into Tue...

387
00:17:10,449 --> 00:17:12,040
Oh, for God's sake.

388
00:17:12,743 --> 00:17:14,378
Stop being an idiot!

389
00:17:14,403 --> 00:17:16,157
Just throw away the damn sandwich!

390
00:17:16,361 --> 00:17:18,144
- Uh...
- What?

391
00:17:19,341 --> 00:17:21,470
You've never yelled at me before.

392
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:24,294
Sorry.

393
00:17:24,978 --> 00:17:28,103
I've been swallowing
a lot of anger lately.

394
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,584
Christy, I want to throw it away

395
00:17:30,586 --> 00:17:31,985
'cause your mom's been so nice lately,

396
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:35,727
but it's kind of like Vietnam...
I know I need to get out,

397
00:17:35,752 --> 00:17:38,056
but how can I achieve peace with honor?

398
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:42,179
Maybe you should stop treating
your relationship like a war.

399
00:17:42,259 --> 00:17:44,478
You guys are both on the same side.

400
00:17:45,377 --> 00:17:46,751
You're right.

401
00:17:47,039 --> 00:17:49,757
Unless you're in on it.

402
00:17:50,072 --> 00:17:51,309
What are you talking about?

403
00:17:51,334 --> 00:17:53,833
Maybe she got you to say these
things so you could trick me

404
00:17:53,858 --> 00:17:56,559
into throwing the sandwich
away, so then I'm the guy...

405
00:17:56,695 --> 00:17:59,029
I sound like I'm crazy, don't I?

406
00:17:59,429 --> 00:18:01,723
I'm just gonna throw the sandwich away.

407
00:18:02,212 --> 00:18:03,628
Good.

408
00:18:04,169 --> 00:18:06,840
And next time you two
draw a line in the sand,

409
00:18:06,865 --> 00:18:08,481
can it not be with tuna?

410
00:18:12,127 --> 00:18:14,590
- What are you doing?
- I am throwing away this sandwich

411
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:15,614
because I love you.

412
00:18:15,639 --> 00:18:17,739
No! I wanted to throw it away

413
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,104
because I love you.

414
00:18:19,129 --> 00:18:20,848
Too late. It's done.

415
00:18:24,139 --> 00:18:27,607
I'm sorry I told you what to do.

416
00:18:27,609 --> 00:18:28,536
I'm sorry you had to.

417
00:18:28,561 --> 00:18:30,444
I really should make more of an effort.

418
00:18:30,766 --> 00:18:33,622
That's the most romantic
thing you've ever said to me.

419
00:18:35,366 --> 00:18:38,450
(both moaning)

420
00:18:41,781 --> 00:18:43,564
BONNIE: Mmm, Adam.

421
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,827
♪ ♪

422
00:18:46,829 --> 00:18:49,145
And I know I'm not supposed
to be telling you this,

423
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:52,149
but I picked up her
sweater and put it away.

424
00:18:52,454 --> 00:18:55,411
And while I was doing it,
I didn't want to kill her.

425
00:18:55,436 --> 00:18:57,636
I was too busy being happy for her.

426
00:18:58,006 --> 00:18:59,723
What did you do to me?

427
00:19:00,137 --> 00:19:01,675
I didn't do it, you did.

428
00:19:01,677 --> 00:19:03,226
I just made a suggestion.

429
00:19:03,228 --> 00:19:04,928
Well, it worked.

430
00:19:04,930 --> 00:19:07,653
Good. Maybe next time you
won't push back so hard.

431
00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:08,965
I won't.

432
00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:10,523
Yeah, you will.

433
00:19:11,082 --> 00:19:12,903
Also, you're gonna need
an umbrella tonight.

434
00:19:13,109 --> 00:19:14,419
But it's sunny.

435
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:16,444
You're gonna have to learn to trust me.

436
00:19:16,525 --> 00:19:18,364
Here you go.

437
00:19:18,389 --> 00:19:21,077
Here you go. Here you go.

438
00:19:21,079 --> 00:19:24,174
- What's this?
- This is the "Save the Date" card

439
00:19:24,199 --> 00:19:25,434
for my wedding.

440
00:19:25,459 --> 00:19:27,824
You may or may not be
invited, but save the date.

441
00:19:28,323 --> 00:19:29,456
MARJORIE: Oh.

442
00:19:29,481 --> 00:19:31,147
You ready to be a bridesmaid?

443
00:19:31,172 --> 00:19:34,496
Mm, God, my skin's already
itching from the polyester.

444
00:19:35,177 --> 00:19:39,045
It's official... I am no longer
backing out, I'm locking it in.

445
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:41,692
So Adam wasn't just trying to trick you?

446
00:19:41,717 --> 00:19:43,895
No, Marjorie, you were wrong.

447
00:19:46,057 --> 00:19:48,308
Oh, my God, Christy, what's wrong?

448
00:19:49,634 --> 00:19:52,035
You... made me love my mother,

449
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:53,731
and now she's leaving me.

450
00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:56,810
(thunder crashing)

451
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,441
Told you.

452
00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,474
Oh, God.

453
00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:12,293
We're in Vietnam again?

454
00:20:13,935 --> 00:20:16,269
(sighs) This is me doing nice things.

455
00:20:16,294 --> 00:20:19,412
'Cause that's what I do...
I'm a nice thing doer.

456
00:20:19,437 --> 00:20:21,854
ADAM: Hey, what the hell
happened to my lunch?

457
00:20:21,879 --> 00:20:23,795
CHRISTY: Oops.

458
00:20:27,597 --> 00:20:29,297
Gus?

459
00:20:29,870 --> 00:20:31,820
Did you eat my sandwich?

460
00:20:33,054 --> 00:20:35,020
And the plate?

461
00:20:37,934 --> 00:20:39,410
See you later, Mom!

462
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,199
Enjoy your sandwich!

463
00:20:41,224 --> 00:20:42,863
Oh. Hey, Adam.

464
00:20:45,552 --> 00:20:49,739
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --