1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,918
[cell door slams]
2
00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,049
[theme song playing]
3
00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:58,840
[cell door slams]
4
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,566
[cell door slams]
5
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,746
[inmates chanting] Poo! Poo! Poo! Poo!
6
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,252
They said poo-poo.
7
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:31,422
We should sew up her butthole
so she can't ever poo again.
8
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:32,624
That's what we should do.
9
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,801
But where would the poo go?
10
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:37,048
It'd fill up her lungs
until she couldn't breathe.
11
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:38,505
Are you okay, Leanne?
12
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,467
I really think that
you need to get that looked at.
13
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,392
Or at least put something over it
14
00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,390
other than a dryer sheet and rubber band.
15
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,314
I ain't going nowhere
until this bitch gets what she deserves.
16
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,608
[Law & Order theme playing over phone]
17
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:59,401
In America,
everyone has the right to a fair trial.
18
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:00,610
Unless you brown!
19
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,366
- Or poor!
- Or famous!
20
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,446
Or white Christian!
21
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,247
[Big Boo] All right, all right.
I'm just gonna have
22
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,701
a quick habeas corpus,
quid pro quo with my client.
23
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:08,955
No go.
24
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:13,005
Look, 2007 Britney Spears on steroids...
25
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,501
you best step out of my way
so I can talk to my friend.
26
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:19,804
Hey, your friend gave our only gun
to a guard
27
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:22,849
and then he shot off my best finger
and escaped.
28
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:25,221
That hillbilly bitch needs
to burn at the stake.
29
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,725
Yeah, like, crispy.
30
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,225
Hey, how about a high four?
31
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,523
- [Leanne gasps]
- [chuckles]
32
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:33,067
[Angie grunts] Oh! Leanne!
Leanne, Leanne, Leanne.
33
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,486
[chanting] Poo! Poo! Poo! Poo!
34
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,689
- All right. All right.
- [chanting continues]
35
00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:38,864
Come on, come on.
36
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,158
Come on!
37
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:42,906
What if it was you in there?
38
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,576
Wouldn't you want that chance
to explain yourself
39
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,123
before you got thrown into a shit box?
40
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:50,327
I mean, come on,
let's be better than they are.
41
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,877
Let's have a little due process.
42
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,128
[chanting] Due, due, due, due, due.
43
00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:57,425
[chuckles] She said doo-doo.
44
00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,549
- You got five minutes.
- Okay.
45
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,966
- [chuckles]
- [scoffs]
46
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,269
[Pennsatucky sighs] Hi.
47
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:13,520
Oh.
48
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,317
Okay, okay.
49
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,487
- Careful of the suit. Yeah.
- Huh? Oh.
50
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:19,734
- What the hell were you thinking?
- You mad at me?
51
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,566
- Oh, definitely.
- Are they gonna murder me?
52
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,992
Probably.
53
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,740
- What we gonna do?
- [grunts]
54
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,955
- We're gonna give 'em a show. Okay?
- Okay.
55
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,533
First, you need to look remorseful.
56
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,995
- You know, sorry for what you've done.
- Oh, be upset.
57
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,375
Oh, yeah, I can do that.
58
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,672
- Yeah?
- I can do that really easy.
59
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:39,296
I have a lot of practice
from my shopliftin' days with Mama.
60
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,844
- Mmm-hmm.
- "Show Mama your sad face.
61
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,263
Now, tell the nice man
you didn't mean to put the shampoo bottles
62
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,090
down your underpants."
Yeah.
63
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,806
Mama and I, we could work a Save-A-Lot
like no one's business.
64
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,057
One time, Boo,
65
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:55,267
I got away with stealing eight packs
of chicken wings in my overalls.
66
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,771
But then I got caught with Cheez-Its.
67
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,194
'Cause square boxes,
you know, they're just...
68
00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,862
- They're harder, right?
- Yeah, of course.
69
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:03,407
And sad face wasn't workin' that day
because the manager was, like, a queer.
70
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,405
And he hated kids...
71
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,782
but Mama got off promisin' him
somethin' called a popper?
72
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,115
- Oh, yeah, I know what poppers are. Yeah.
- Yeah?
73
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,040
- So, anyway, watch. Watch, watch.
- Hmm.
74
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,702
[mimics crying]
75
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,335
That's actually remarkable.
76
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,176
Let's show the ladies, shall we?
77
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,878
That's it.
78
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:26,840
- Aw, you poor thing.
- [Pennsatucky] I didn't mean to, Mama.
79
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,595
- [inmate] Oh, come on.
- [Big Boo] That's right.
80
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,802
- I'm sorry, Mama.
- That's right, I know.
81
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:35,189
[indistinct radio chatter]
82
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:38,518
I don't need a medal,
but a little recognition would be nice.
83
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:43,440
I mean, the bringer of light should
at least get a Twinkie out of it, right?
84
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:47,702
You know, I told that whole room,
"Hey, guess who fixed the power?"
85
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:49,991
Nothing.
86
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,615
It's a tough fucking crowd.
87
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,628
Got any family out there?
88
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,165
Yeah, me neither.
89
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:05,886
Hey, guys. So...
90
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,635
it took me one whole minute
to look this cute.
91
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:12,014
It only took me 30 seconds
to get so pretty for you.
92
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,344
Rude.
93
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,600
What?
I'm two years younger than you.
94
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,683
My mom always said
shit starts to fall at, like, 29.
95
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,145
How come no one ever told me this before?
96
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,401
I don't know.
Maybe they were protecting you.
97
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,948
But it's good that you know now.
98
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,696
Get on the defensive.
99
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:31,826
I stick my face in ice every day.
Like meat in the freezer.
100
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,747
It makes that shit last
a whole lot longer.
101
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,909
Okay, shut off the fucking camera. Now.
102
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,499
[sighs]
103
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:43,045
- [truck beeping]
- [delivery boy] Hey. All right, that's it.
104
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,634
[Coates] Look,
I don't know anything, okay?
105
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,336
I didn't see anything.
106
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:50,298
Can I go home now?
I wanna go home.
107
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,384
Just stack them in the entryway, please.
108
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:53,968
What the hell do you think you're doing?
109
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,395
I'm carrying out orders from
Governor Hutchinson. And you?
110
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,144
I'm in charge of this place
and you're in my fucking way.
111
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:01,226
Is that how you always speak with women?
112
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,810
No wonder they're rioting.
113
00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:06,022
Explain to me how the governor's plan
to de-escalate the situation
114
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,779
includes rewarding the inmates with...
[inhales deeply]
115
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,485
whatever the hell is in those boxes.
116
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:14,493
In the future,
you should ask instead of demand.
117
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:19,535
The CERT team cannot guarantee ingress
into the prison without casualties.
118
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,746
Governor Hutchinson cares
about the lives in there,
119
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,001
unlike other people involved.
120
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,253
That's you.
I'm talking about you.
121
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,710
The rest of us are taking
the necessary steps
122
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,342
to resolve this situation peacefully.
Thank you.
123
00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:32,765
Uh, yeah, just keep going over there.
124
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,476
What the hell?
125
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,729
Your shit's falling, right?
How old are you?
126
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,189
Did any of you children
think to tell somebody
127
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:44,519
that a stack of boxes just appeared
outside while you were on duty?
128
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,070
[Flaca] Mmm-mmm.
129
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,151
[sighs]
130
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,570
[Maritza] Oh, my God.
Take a picture of her.
131
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:53,323
Hey.
Yeah, we got a situation in the front.
132
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,907
So 30?
133
00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,084
- Thirty-five?
- [chuckles]
134
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,877
Yo, we shouldn't be asking her
shit like that.
135
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,795
Black skin doesn't follow the rules,
you know?
136
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:05,214
Please whisper better.
137
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,508
[Janae] Oh, shit, we got a delivery?
138
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,881
- [Black Cindy beatboxing]
- Whoa!
139
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:12,429
[rapping] ♪ Buh, buh
FedEx, UPS, Amazon Prime ♪
140
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,848
♪ Bring us what we need
'Cause it's about time ♪
141
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,552
Yeah, don't ever do that again. Ever.
142
00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:18,853
Was that Kanye?
143
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,350
[pounding on door]
144
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,773
- Yo.
- Do we answer?
145
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,725
[Flaca] I like her ensemble.
[Maritza] Yeah.
146
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:27,687
Not too in-your-riot-face, but some flair.
147
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,147
I'm doin' it.
148
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,661
[Taystee] Psst, psst.
149
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:42,330
Um...
150
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,878
Hello?
How may I help you?
151
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,501
Hi, there. Nita?
152
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,674
We spoke on the phone, I think?
Was that you?
153
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:49,921
Maybe.
154
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:53,554
I have a delivery
from Governor Hutchinson.
155
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:58,139
Oh. Well... thank you.
156
00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,560
Thank you very much.
157
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,980
We'll be in touch.
Here is my cell.
158
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,649
Let's keep the lines of communication
open, okay?
159
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,319
Okay. Enjoy.
160
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:13,240
[softly] What the fuck?
161
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,818
[Black Cindy] Hey, man, get the...
Oh, shit!
162
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,697
[chuckling]
163
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:23,330
Thanks for the help, guys.
Really appreciate it.
164
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:26,333
Some of us are smart enough
not to go near a unmarked box.
165
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,712
I mean, that could be anything.
It could be a bomb. Anthrax.
166
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,758
- Itty bitty soldiers.
- [clicks tongue]
167
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,716
[Black Cindy] Fuck it.
[laughs] One for you...
168
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:42,098
- Cheetos! [squeals]
- [all cheer]
169
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,062
- [Flaca] Takis!
- Tampons?
170
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,895
Hot Cheetos, Takis, and tampons
171
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:53,106
just don't have the same ring to it,
you know?
172
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,531
Yo, yo, yo...
173
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,694
they're meeting our demands.
174
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:00,863
I told you, man!
You did it.
175
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:02,448
[cheering]
176
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,910
Don't need nobody to speak for us.
Fuck yeah!
177
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,495
[Black Cindy] You a hero, man.
178
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,374
Girl, that's a mistake.
179
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:16,133
Don't you know
you always got to pay for the flipper?
180
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:19,010
You really think...
181
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,183
Kandy with a "K" is gonna win
Ultimate Grand Supreme
182
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,682
with her own God-given teeth?
Hell, no!
183
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,310
- Can we watch 106 & Park now?
- [Dante] Sure can.
184
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,899
You didn't ask for permission.
185
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:32,148
I ain't be needing your permission
or nobody.
186
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,072
Well, Ms. Tendler says otherwise,
'fore she knock the black off of you.
187
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,694
- You sound like a old lady.
- [grunts]
188
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,949
Man, I am a old lady, as of today.
189
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,155
And it's my TV time.
I asked. So...
190
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,160
Nobody else likes the shit you watch.
It ain't fair.
191
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,786
[Ms. Tendler] What the hell
are y'all doing?
192
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,618
Dante, no TV for the next week.
193
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,669
Fucking bullshit!
I hate it here.
194
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,418
Don't like you much neither.
195
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,170
Taystee, my office.
196
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:56,423
- Time to go, old lady.
- Shut up.
197
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:57,879
[Jamaris chuckles]
198
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,385
[Ms. Tendler sighs] Come on in.
199
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,725
Have a seat.
200
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,805
[Taystee] Ain't gotta sit,
'cause I already know, Ms. Tendler.
201
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:09,686
Now that I'm 18, I gotta start
figuring out where I'm gonna live at.
202
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,894
Now, I know I only got a year
to figure it out,
203
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:15,195
but... I got a job and I got some friends.
204
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,817
So, I think I'll be all right.
205
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,028
Right?
206
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,485
Sit down, Taystee.
207
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,487
[Taystee sighs]
208
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,662
Happy birthday.
209
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,207
[chuckling] You got me a card?
210
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,213
No. Your birth mother reached out,
211
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,712
but we couldn't tell you
till you turned 18.
212
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,044
Contact information's in the envelope.
213
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,097
[sighs] And don't go blamin' me.
I don't make the laws.
214
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,923
These white men do.
Blame them.
215
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,098
She's in here?
216
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,560
Something like that.
217
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,530
[Gerber grunts]
218
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:05,537
Morning, sleepyhead.
219
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:10,913
[gasps] What the fuck!
220
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,163
Don't worry.
It's just a little drool.
221
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:18,584
What'd you get into last night?
Is that some sort of new drug thing?
222
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,668
[Tom] Bayley.
223
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,179
- You're out of here.
- [Gerber] No.
224
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:25,349
No, no, no, no.
[stutters] That's a mistake.
225
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,893
You can't let me go.
I'm a danger to society, sir.
226
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:29,686
Be that as it may, we can't keep you.
227
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,809
No charges have been filed.
Let... let's go.
228
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,684
Frank, Janie called.
229
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:37,190
She'll be over to get you
after she drops the kids at soccer.
230
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,646
Thanks, Tom.
231
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,948
Ah, don't despair, little buddy.
232
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:45,244
This is why God invented booze
and the drunk tank, hmm?
233
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,951
You need to slip from your troubles,
234
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:51,333
make a little ruckus,
and you spend the night in here.
235
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,535
[sighs]
236
00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,545
But everything's gonna be fine.
237
00:11:58,301 --> 00:11:59,667
Bayley, come on.
238
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:03,971
[indistinct chatter]
239
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,318
No Takis for you?
240
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,067
Leave me alone.
241
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:25,071
Hard to do that...
seeing as how you're in my bunk.
242
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:29,576
It's her bed. It's mine.
Go fuck yourself.
243
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:39,130
[sighs]
244
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,550
Why aren't you saying anything?
245
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:43,753
Nah...
246
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,630
I'm good.
247
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:47,931
[scoffs]
248
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:51,184
Some black power silent treatment
bullshit or something?
249
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,603
More like...
250
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,689
I don't got energy to waste.
251
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:59,484
I got my own sad.
252
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:09,449
She used to sleep here, man.
253
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,416
Right there.
254
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:15,788
Across from me.
255
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,965
Sometimes she'd do this thing,
where she'd...
256
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:24,634
bounce her leg
while she was tryin' to fall asleep.
257
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,963
The whole fucking bed would creak.
258
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,140
It drove me crazy.
I would wanna punch her.
259
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,013
[Janae sniffles]
260
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,432
Now I can't fall asleep...
261
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:41,860
'cause I lie here,
262
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,402
waiting for the squeak.
263
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:51,574
I didn't know that.
264
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,620
I never got to sleep next to her.
265
00:13:58,296 --> 00:13:59,662
That's the thing.
266
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:03,082
I'm not sad. I'm angry.
267
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:05,755
I hate everyone.
268
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:13,096
Anyone laughing or smiling or...
269
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:18,310
being alive is fucking offensive to me
and they should all just fucking die.
270
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,811
And eventually,
I'm just gonna burn up from rage
271
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:25,191
and then I'll just be dust.
272
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:28,740
And I don't know how to make it stop.
273
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:32,619
I do.
274
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:41,207
Come on!
You are coming with me.
275
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,504
[Margarita] I got the baby.
276
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:44,547
So?
We'll drop it off at your cousin's.
277
00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:46,296
She owes me for the acrylics, anyway.
278
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,342
How do I look?
279
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:52,256
Wow, pero, you look like...
280
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:53,386
Diane Sawyer.
281
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,805
Come on.
Let's rock this mother.
282
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,806
[inmates exclaiming]
283
00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,483
[inmate] Ahh! Gotcha! [chuckles]
284
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:17,748
So, suddenly everybody think
they on Orchard Beach or some shit?
285
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:21,497
I was thinking more Miami,
but thank you for ruining the fantasy.
286
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,203
Right before Drake was gonna
come over, too.
287
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,381
Oh, shit, you think Pitbull
might be coming, too?
288
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:27,708
[Dayanara] Nah, girl.
289
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,259
Maybe Fat Joe, if you're lucky.
290
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,133
It's like Pitbull super-sized.
291
00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:34,055
What the hell are you doing out here?
292
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,309
I was jealous.
Wanted a tan. [grunts]
293
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,761
Mmm-hmm.
294
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:42,223
Don't you be trying to bring
any of that crap from inside out here.
295
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:43,602
Out here, we're trying to relax and shit.
296
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,609
Like you're really relaxing
in the middle of all this
297
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,312
after what went down?
298
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,819
It's more like I'm just tryin'
not to make shit worse.
299
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,858
Yeah, I hear that.
300
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,154
You seriously trying to sit out now?
301
00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:58,409
Yeah.
302
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,036
I think so.
303
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:04,040
You know, I'm trying to get back home
to my baby girl one day,
304
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,246
and this might be the only way
305
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:07,456
to avoid all the fucked up shit
that keeps finding me.
306
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:10,668
It's like...
It's like I'm a fucked-up-shit magnet.
307
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:15,297
It ain't you.
Prison's the magnet.
308
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:16,802
You think so?
309
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,009
I hope so.
310
00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:21,182
I gotta believe
things'll be better on the outside.
311
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,064
To laying low.
312
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:28,318
To Drake's fine ass.
313
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,655
- I'll drink to that. [chuckles]
- Mmm.
314
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:34,779
Look at Neri!
She's showing.
315
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,737
- You're texting with Cal?
- What else am I gonna do?
316
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,541
It's not like I'm busy
with any important riot duties.
317
00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:46,667
Oh, my God. Sitting this out
must be so hard for you.
318
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:51,087
You gonna spontaneously combust
if you're not in charge of something soon?
319
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,260
Whatever you say, my great leader.
320
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:58,758
I am only here to serve you,
my great leader.
321
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,760
Well, that's kinda hot.
322
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,188
[both chuckle]
323
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,355
What can I tell you?
324
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:10,436
Yeah, you can keep crying about Hugo...
or you can make another decision.
325
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,571
It's hard to lose a pet, eh.
326
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,866
Especially when he gets blown up
by your ex-husband
327
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:18,990
during a botched attempt
to murder your neighbor.
328
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,163
I mean, it's a tale as old as time.
329
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:24,037
Someone, who was definitely
not my meditation instructor
330
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,333
at rehab number seven in Sedona,
331
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:28,628
once told me
that depression is holding on...
332
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,716
and sadness is, uh... letting go.
333
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,633
I think it's time
for you to let go of Hugo.
334
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:42,180
You're right.
You're absolutely right.
335
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,849
I have to let go.
336
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:49,683
What're you doing?
337
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,439
- Thank you.
- All right.
338
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:54,237
Whoa! Boundaries, right?
So, there you go.
339
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,985
Let's keep it professional.
340
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,066
[sighs]
341
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:10,420
- Hi.
- Hi.
342
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:13,499
My name's Lorna Morello Muccio.
343
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,255
Is that German?
344
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,506
No, I'm Italian. [laughs]
345
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,930
Yeah. [chuckles]
I know you're Italian.
346
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:22,383
Your name may as well be Lorna Lasagna.
347
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,138
Anyway, miss...
348
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,974
continue. [sighs]
349
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,349
I've been having these dreams.
350
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:34,110
Go on.
351
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,984
[stammers] Well, they're kinda like
sexy dreams?
352
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,276
[stammers] Do these dreams, uh...
353
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,616
involve penises?
354
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:48,246
Because that is going to drastically
reduce my interest in the subject matter.
355
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,043
No penises.
356
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,213
- Well, not exactly.
- [sighs]
357
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:56,417
It's a little embarrassing, honestly.
[chuckles nervously]
358
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,923
Um, I'm riding a whale...
359
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,465
- in the ocean.
- [both chuckle]
360
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:07,178
And the water, on my skin,
it feels so amazing.
361
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:10,480
[breathing heavily] And, you know,
they have those... those blow holes...
362
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,852
- Hey. Come on.
- ...and it's aimed right...
363
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,478
Hey, hey.
364
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,069
I think we're out of time.
365
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,197
[whispers] Please fuck me.
366
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,362
What about Vinnie?
367
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,368
I really need your help.
368
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:28,074
I'm so fucking horny,
and I can't stand it.
369
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,203
And I need you to fuck me.
370
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,659
- You're begging me?
- I'm begging you.
371
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:31,789
- You're begging me?
- Yeah.
372
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,745
- You know I'm a doctor, right?
- Yeah. [heavy breathing]
373
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,582
- You serious?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm really serious.
374
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,129
Look after your patient.
375
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:41,715
Your tits feel amazing.
376
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,048
Oh, my God.
I missed you so much.
377
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,553
[both breathing heavily]
378
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,431
[Lorna moans]
379
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,262
What happens in a riot, stays in a riot?
380
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:51,597
Yeah.
381
00:19:58,489 --> 00:19:59,696
[sighs]
382
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:06,032
Hand me that jug of oil, would you?
383
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:09,160
You ain't greasing up like the rest
of those beach bums outside, are you?
384
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:12,209
[chuckles] I haven't had a tan since '62.
385
00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:15,458
[sighs] We're not gonna
last long at this rate.
386
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:19,959
The human body can sustain itself
for up to three weeks without food.
387
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:23,045
Myself, I've gone as long as eight days.
388
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:27,132
Ran into some unexpected weather
in Virginia on the trail.
389
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,552
You start hallucinating eventually...
390
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,389
but that could be fun, if you do it right.
391
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:34,973
[chuckles] Shit!
392
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,231
That sounds like the kind of vacation
I need right about now.
393
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,982
Get out of my head.
394
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,280
Can I do that without the starving
and being outdoors?
395
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:44,528
You find the dope that's right for you.
396
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:45,779
[chuckles]
397
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,203
♪ Hot Cheetos and Takis
Hot Cheetos and Takis ♪
398
00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:51,578
♪ I can't get enough of these
Hot Cheetos and Takis ♪
399
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,080
♪ Snack, snack
Snack, crunch ♪
400
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,787
♪ Snack, snack
Snack, munch ♪
401
00:20:57,339 --> 00:21:00,127
- Christ on a cracker.
- [Red] Have you seen this video?
402
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,049
"Hot Cheetos & Takis"?
It's wonderful.
403
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:03,843
Children are so motivated these days.
404
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:07,263
These snacks are delicious.
Spicy. Cheesy. Crunchy.
405
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,682
Great.
Even the adults have lost their minds.
406
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,852
The President of the United States
sent them.
407
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,599
They're meeting our demands.
408
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,681
We won!
America is great.
409
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,358
Shit. All this craziness is actually
getting us somewhere?
410
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,107
Which means life in here
will soon return to status quo.
411
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:23,530
- Hallelujah.
- Therefore, we have limited time
412
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,949
to drug Piscatella, drag him inside,
413
00:21:26,035 --> 00:21:27,992
and force the signed confession
out of him.
414
00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:29,865
Oh, boy.
415
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,324
What do you think?
What should our plan be?
416
00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:36,205
What strong-but-not-so-strong-
will-kill-him-poison should we use?
417
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,627
Oh, I could google it!
418
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:40,838
♪ Snack, snack
Snack, crunch ♪
419
00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:42,291
- [Red] Oh, shit.
- Qué?
420
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:44,922
- We're out of Takis.
- Oh. We gotta go.
421
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:52,429
Sometimes, you gotta let it be
someone else's problem.
422
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,058
- [Taystee chomps]
- I mean, I'm just saying, though.
423
00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:59,725
You'd think by now some company
would want to capitalize on my fame.
424
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:05,573
I been in a national magazine
and I'm a popular coffee-oriented meme.
425
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,820
Like, where you at, Starbucks?
426
00:22:07,910 --> 00:22:09,572
There she go.
427
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,530
- We lost her to the fame monster.
- [Taystee chuckles]
428
00:22:12,623 --> 00:22:14,455
- [phone ringing]
- Shit!
429
00:22:15,793 --> 00:22:17,000
[Black Cindy clears throat]
430
00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:18,622
Riot headquarters.
431
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:21,625
How can you make
our prison dreams come true today?
432
00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,877
This is Nita,
from Governor Hutchinson's office.
433
00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:27,382
Oh, hey, Nita!
Girl, what up? [clears throat]
434
00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:31,177
Them snacks you dropped off, though,
were delightful.
435
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:33,350
[scoffs] Truly.
We delighted.
436
00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:34,801
- I...
- I'm so glad.
437
00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,558
Hi, Nita. I'm sorry about that.
Yes. This is Taystee.
438
00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:40,857
[whispers] Put her on speaker.
Put her on speaker!
439
00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:46,150
Taystee. It was nice to meet you
in person today.
440
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,653
- Oh, shit! She bein' all polite.
- [chuckles]
441
00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:49,949
- It sure was.
- [chuckles]
442
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:51,492
- [both mimicking] "It sure was."
- [mouths]
443
00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:54,572
I'm so glad that you're enjoying
the snacks and the tampons.
444
00:22:54,665 --> 00:22:57,453
I'm calling to discuss
the release of the hostages.
445
00:22:57,543 --> 00:22:59,159
How would you and your team
like to handle?
446
00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:03,664
What the fuck she say?
447
00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:05,794
[stutters] I'm sorry.
I think I misheard you.
448
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:08,377
Oh, I'm sorry.
Maybe it's my reception.
449
00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:12,009
I said I'm calling to discuss
the release of the hostages.
450
00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:16,013
Yes, but what about
the rest of our demands?
451
00:23:16,103 --> 00:23:20,438
The Governor is fully prepared
to do everything he can to meet them,
452
00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:22,732
but we delivered supplies
as an act of good faith,
453
00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:26,061
and now we'll need the same
from you and the inmates in return.
454
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:31,192
Yeah, see, I don't see
how some snacks equals our hostages.
455
00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:35,495
Miss Jefferson, please don't make
the mistake of thinking we're the enemy.
456
00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:37,914
Everyone wants this to end peacefully.
457
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,662
But we need your help.
458
00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:43,746
If you surrender the hostages,
we will do our best to meet your demands.
459
00:23:43,839 --> 00:23:46,252
[scoffs] Do you think I'm not smart?
460
00:23:46,342 --> 00:23:49,801
You think I don't hear those trick words,
"Do our best," Miss, uh...
461
00:23:49,887 --> 00:23:52,675
- Reddy.
- Well, my best friend is gone, Miss Reddy.
462
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,802
So, "Do our best" ain't
good enough no more.
463
00:23:56,393 --> 00:23:57,600
"Do our best."
464
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,227
What my defense lawyer told me.
465
00:24:00,314 --> 00:24:03,648
Man, you'd think they'd come up
with some better shit by now.
466
00:24:04,526 --> 00:24:06,017
So, where does this leave us?
467
00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:10,192
Right where it dropped us off.
468
00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:12,399
[sighs]
469
00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:21,749
Tasha?
470
00:24:30,386 --> 00:24:31,593
Hello.
471
00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:36,180
You look just like...
472
00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:37,928
It's nice to meet you, Miss Jefferson.
473
00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:40,010
Mia, please.
474
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:43,389
- [sighs] You wanna sit?
- Oh.
475
00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:46,232
[Mia] Yeah. Thanks.
476
00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:49,857
Thank you for meeting me.
477
00:24:53,575 --> 00:24:55,111
Why didn't you want me?
478
00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:57,910
Tasha...
479
00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:59,829
It's Taystee now.
480
00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:04,493
I was 15.
481
00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:07,666
I didn't have nothing.
482
00:25:07,756 --> 00:25:10,464
No place to live.
No parents.
483
00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:14,799
Just a boyfriend and a tiny room
in his nasty aunt's apartment.
484
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:17,634
Then I got pregnant.
485
00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:21,347
She told us she'd kick us both out
if we kept it...
486
00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:23,428
You.
487
00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:25,764
Shit.
488
00:25:27,735 --> 00:25:30,853
I sound like one of them bad TV movies
on the white lady channel.
489
00:25:32,114 --> 00:25:33,855
- Lifetime.
- What?
490
00:25:35,325 --> 00:25:37,567
Channel where all those
white ladies be cryin'.
491
00:25:37,661 --> 00:25:38,868
It's Lifetime.
492
00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:43,077
Ain't that also where them crazy parents
be dressing up their kids like the...
493
00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:44,874
the dolls you put on top
of the toilet paper?
494
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,293
Yeah. [chuckles]
Toddlers and Tiaras.
495
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:48,540
- Yeah. [chuckles]
- That's my favorite!
496
00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:50,462
[both laughing]
497
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,002
I spent so many hours thinkin' about
what you look like...
498
00:25:56,972 --> 00:25:58,508
who you grew to be and...
499
00:25:59,725 --> 00:26:01,057
what makes you laugh.
500
00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:05,094
And you, here...
501
00:26:07,024 --> 00:26:08,356
better than I ever dreamed.
502
00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,979
Thank you for giving me a chance.
503
00:26:16,325 --> 00:26:18,317
Thank you for finding me.
504
00:26:19,244 --> 00:26:20,780
[Timaya] Mommy!
505
00:26:21,705 --> 00:26:23,412
Baby, what are you doin' here?
506
00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:25,582
Hey, baby.
We headed to the church.
507
00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:27,829
Hopin' to get baby girl
some new shoes at the sale.
508
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,128
[Mia] Oh...
[Owen] Who's your friend?
509
00:26:30,756 --> 00:26:32,748
This is Taystee.
510
00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:34,332
Um, you remember Robin?
511
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:37,169
She used to live over on Troy?
This is her girl.
512
00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:39,219
Oh. Right.
Hey, Taystee.
513
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:41,298
Daddy, let's go!
514
00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:43,474
All right, baby.
I'll see you at home.
515
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,472
[Timaya] Bye, Mommy!
Bye, other lady!
516
00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:50,348
They don't know about me.
517
00:26:52,027 --> 00:26:55,520
They will. I promise.
518
00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:56,946
It's just I wasn't...
519
00:26:57,950 --> 00:27:00,158
You know, nobody teaches you
how to be doin' these things.
520
00:27:00,244 --> 00:27:03,282
And I wanted to meet you first.
And reconnect.
521
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:09,075
I'll do right, okay?
522
00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:13,079
I want you to be family.
523
00:27:21,056 --> 00:27:22,217
[indistinct chatter and laughter]
524
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:24,720
Chubby dude,
you can cross-examine the witness.
525
00:27:30,607 --> 00:27:34,226
Ladies and gentlemen, a tap dance.
526
00:27:35,696 --> 00:27:37,153
Miss Rice.
527
00:27:37,239 --> 00:27:39,902
Earlier, you stated that your favorite
television show is Saved by the Bell.
528
00:27:39,992 --> 00:27:42,200
- Is this correct?
- Objectification!
529
00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:43,276
[grunts]
530
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:45,327
Nope. Sit down.
Answer the man's question.
531
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,077
That's correct.
Saved by the Bell.
532
00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:52,002
Mmm-hmm. And, uh, what would you say
is your favorite episode?
533
00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:57,166
Uh, that's easy. Um, the one where
Jessie gets addicted to caffeine pills.
534
00:27:57,259 --> 00:27:58,591
'Cause it's real relatable. [chuckles]
535
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:00,213
[chuckling] Yes, it's a classic.
536
00:28:00,304 --> 00:28:03,593
Yes. See, Jessie could not handle
537
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:06,800
the pressure of midterms
and her singing group...
538
00:28:06,894 --> 00:28:07,930
could she?
539
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:10,979
Except, I didn't like how they were,
like, you know,
540
00:28:11,064 --> 00:28:13,272
"Drugs are bad.
Blah blah blah."
541
00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:16,647
Because I just don't think that that's
a good message to be sending to kids.
542
00:28:17,321 --> 00:28:18,607
[Big Boo] Hmm.
543
00:28:18,697 --> 00:28:21,610
And what do you think of,
say, "Boss Lady"?
544
00:28:23,619 --> 00:28:24,655
You know,
545
00:28:24,745 --> 00:28:26,862
the one where the whole gang
is working at the Malibu Sands.
546
00:28:26,955 --> 00:28:29,914
Stacey has to be the boss
and nothing goes wrong.
547
00:28:31,084 --> 00:28:34,248
- Oh, yeah, that one.
- [chuckling]
548
00:28:34,338 --> 00:28:37,627
It's funny.
So uncomplicated.
549
00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:38,832
[Big Boo] Hmm.
550
00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:42,376
Miss Rice.
551
00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:45,214
Would you say that if something
is your favorite,
552
00:28:45,307 --> 00:28:46,798
you will have seen every episode?
553
00:28:47,643 --> 00:28:49,851
- Of course.
- [chuckles]
554
00:28:49,937 --> 00:28:51,394
I'm glad we agree on that.
555
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,439
Because I don't know about the rest
of the ladies and gentlemen in the court,
556
00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:56,607
but if I say something is my favorite,
557
00:28:56,693 --> 00:28:59,857
you better be damn sure that I have seen
every episode multiple times.
558
00:28:59,947 --> 00:29:03,611
And I know that show
like the back of my hand. Mmm?
559
00:29:03,700 --> 00:29:05,737
Therefore, you will forgive my confusion
560
00:29:05,827 --> 00:29:09,411
as to why you have not seen
episode ten, season three,
561
00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:11,410
where, despite the delightful ending,
562
00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:14,664
which involves the entire gang
coming together to help Stacey,
563
00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:17,370
everything goes wrong!
564
00:29:17,464 --> 00:29:18,921
[inmates chatter]
565
00:29:19,841 --> 00:29:21,753
Who is Stacey?
566
00:29:21,843 --> 00:29:24,677
I submit!
The witness is a liar.
567
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:26,049
She is not credible.
568
00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:27,846
And I have no further questions!
569
00:29:27,933 --> 00:29:29,640
- [inmates cheering]
- Wait a minute!
570
00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:31,843
- Wait a minute!
- [applause]
571
00:29:31,937 --> 00:29:33,644
That ain't got nothing to do
with anything!
572
00:29:33,730 --> 00:29:36,143
We still saw her give Donuts the gun.
573
00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:38,771
Yes! She is guilty!
574
00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:41,273
Even if Lisa Turtle is my favorite!
575
00:29:41,363 --> 00:29:43,150
- That's crazy. Come on.
- She is a liar.
576
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,947
No one likes Lisa Turtle best.
577
00:29:45,033 --> 00:29:47,195
- Poo! Poo! Poo!
- [overlapping chatter]
578
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:50,199
- Order in the court! Order in the court!
- This is ridiculous!
579
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:51,871
There's got to be a better way.
580
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,722
[sighs]
581
00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:13,718
[Aleida] Holy fuck am I gonna be famous.
582
00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:16,304
[Margarita] Okay,
this shit is fucking bananas.
583
00:30:16,398 --> 00:30:18,936
Aleida? Hi. April.
We spoke on the phone.
584
00:30:19,026 --> 00:30:21,359
Let's get you inside.
And we'll get you into makeup.
585
00:30:21,445 --> 00:30:23,186
You hear that shit?
"Get you into makeup."
586
00:30:24,406 --> 00:30:26,193
Hey, Ape, let me ask you a question.
587
00:30:26,283 --> 00:30:27,819
I get paid for this shit, right?
588
00:30:27,909 --> 00:30:30,572
You think you could give me
that grand in cash, up-front?
589
00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:33,075
[chuckles] What? Did someone tell you
you were gonna get paid?
590
00:30:33,165 --> 00:30:34,701
We can't pay our guests.
It's against...
591
00:30:34,791 --> 00:30:37,784
- I'm just fucking with you, Ape. [laughs]
- Okay.
592
00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:39,995
We're really going to need to get those
"fucks" out of your system
593
00:30:40,088 --> 00:30:42,045
before we go live.
594
00:30:42,966 --> 00:30:45,754
You would not believe
the cost of an electrical rewire.
595
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:47,710
Totally astronomical.
596
00:30:47,804 --> 00:30:51,138
So, it's like, uh, do we try to do
the work ourselves?
597
00:30:51,224 --> 00:30:53,682
- Yeah, I bought a book.
- You're not an electrician.
598
00:30:53,769 --> 00:30:55,180
Okay, I could try.
599
00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:57,808
And what happens
when the whole house goes up in flames,
600
00:30:57,898 --> 00:30:59,355
we're left with nothing, or, God forbid,
601
00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:01,899
you get a shock and cook yourself
from the inside out...
602
00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:04,477
Stop. Stop.
You're gonna stress out the muffin.
603
00:31:04,571 --> 00:31:07,609
- [blows and whispers] You're right.
- Babe...
604
00:31:11,370 --> 00:31:13,236
- [Bell exhales]
- So, what you been up to, man?
605
00:31:14,498 --> 00:31:16,865
Wanting to die, mostly.
606
00:31:17,959 --> 00:31:20,372
Oh, careful there.
607
00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:24,539
Your mom can't hear you usin' the D word,
understand?
608
00:31:25,258 --> 00:31:27,921
Don't want you bouncin'
around a rubber room.
609
00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:30,712
[stutters] Yeah,
that's a rough break you got, man.
610
00:31:30,806 --> 00:31:32,468
But, you know, uh...
611
00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:35,136
it's gonna be fine.
612
00:31:36,436 --> 00:31:38,894
Why does everyone keep saying that to me?
613
00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:42,098
[stammering] That things are
gonna be fine?
614
00:31:42,192 --> 00:31:44,309
How does that work, exactly?
615
00:31:45,237 --> 00:31:46,773
Is there a, uh...
616
00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:52,860
a magic wand or some type of special God
who loves homicidal white guys?
617
00:31:54,871 --> 00:31:56,112
It's not gonna be fine.
618
00:31:57,165 --> 00:32:02,035
The whole point of life is waiting to see
what comes next, but...
619
00:32:03,338 --> 00:32:05,705
I already know exactly
how mine's gonna go.
620
00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:09,049
So what's the point?
621
00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:11,677
I should die.
622
00:32:17,477 --> 00:32:20,094
- Run?
- Mmm-hmm. Run.
623
00:32:20,188 --> 00:32:24,273
As fast as you can, until you feel like
your lungs is about to collapse.
624
00:32:24,359 --> 00:32:29,275
Until you can't think about nothing
but how tired your legs are.
625
00:32:29,364 --> 00:32:30,946
I think I'm still drunk.
626
00:32:31,032 --> 00:32:33,024
[clicks tongue] You won't be after this.
627
00:32:33,994 --> 00:32:35,986
- Come on.
- [groans]
628
00:32:36,079 --> 00:32:38,617
Hey! We gonna need your snacks.
629
00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:40,699
- [scoffs]
- Oh, you see how you just say, "yours"?
630
00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:42,374
As in, belonging to us?
631
00:32:42,461 --> 00:32:44,293
It's important.
632
00:32:44,379 --> 00:32:45,745
You're, like, what, the snack police?
633
00:32:45,839 --> 00:32:47,705
Yo, they were a bribe.
634
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:50,291
Mr. Fancy-Pants Governor thought
he would trick us into surrendering
635
00:32:50,385 --> 00:32:52,468
- with snacks and tampons.
- Mmm-hmm.
636
00:32:52,554 --> 00:32:54,295
They trying to plug all our holes.
637
00:32:54,389 --> 00:32:56,597
So you're throwing them away?
[stammers] That's a great plan.
638
00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:58,265
We gotta show 'em we serious.
639
00:32:58,351 --> 00:33:00,263
- That's badass.
- No, it's stupid.
640
00:33:00,353 --> 00:33:02,561
Yeah. Don't... don't we want this to end?
641
00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:05,230
- We want justice.
- Well, you want justice.
642
00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:07,559
We want to go home to our families
at some point.
643
00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:10,645
Well, some of us ain't got a home outside.
644
00:33:10,739 --> 00:33:12,605
This is my home,
and I'm gonna fight for it.
645
00:33:13,325 --> 00:33:16,033
Do you think that they would be
doing this to us if we were men?
646
00:33:16,119 --> 00:33:17,655
This is so insulting.
647
00:33:17,746 --> 00:33:19,487
- Exactly.
- Here we go.
648
00:33:19,581 --> 00:33:21,038
- [Piper] What?
- There she goes.
649
00:33:21,124 --> 00:33:24,458
I'm done sitting out there and sunbathing.
I mean, we've all done the hard part.
650
00:33:24,544 --> 00:33:27,787
That's what I'm saying.
All we gotta do is wait 'em out.
651
00:33:27,881 --> 00:33:29,088
We owe this to ourselves.
652
00:33:29,174 --> 00:33:30,756
That's right. [chuckles]
653
00:33:32,552 --> 00:33:33,918
[Piper grunts]
654
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:38,096
How can I help?
655
00:33:38,183 --> 00:33:40,015
You can collect.
656
00:33:40,101 --> 00:33:41,342
But people ain't gonna like you.
657
00:33:42,062 --> 00:33:43,223
Story of my life.
658
00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:46,685
- [Taystee] Gimme these goddamn...
- Yo! I just opened that shit, man!
659
00:33:46,775 --> 00:33:50,064
We need all y'all motherfucking Cheetos.
Give 'em up.
660
00:33:52,322 --> 00:33:53,608
[blows]
661
00:34:31,570 --> 00:34:32,811
[sighs]
662
00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:36,356
[groans]
663
00:34:49,879 --> 00:34:51,495
[chuckles]
664
00:34:58,638 --> 00:35:00,630
- [man] Sixty seconds.
- Almost finished?
665
00:35:00,724 --> 00:35:04,092
[Aleida] Well, if what's-her-face stopped
using words like, "subtle" and "dewy,"
666
00:35:04,185 --> 00:35:05,972
we could've finished yesterday.
667
00:35:07,022 --> 00:35:09,105
- [sighs]
- You look gorgeous.
668
00:35:09,190 --> 00:35:10,431
Thank you.
669
00:35:10,525 --> 00:35:13,313
All right. Good luck!
Make your answers real long.
670
00:35:13,403 --> 00:35:14,610
You'll sound smarter that way.
671
00:35:14,696 --> 00:35:17,109
And turn your right side to the camera.
That's your pretty side.
672
00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:19,281
And use the news guy's name a lot.
673
00:35:19,367 --> 00:35:22,155
Ooh, ooh! And always answer a question
with another question.
674
00:35:22,245 --> 00:35:23,531
- Ooh.
- [man] Fifteen seconds.
675
00:35:23,622 --> 00:35:25,955
[sighs] Look, do me a favor
and don't get me fired, okay?
676
00:35:26,041 --> 00:35:27,657
Fired? I'm gonna get your ass
a promotion.
677
00:35:27,751 --> 00:35:30,960
[sighs] Aleida, this is Susan.
She'll be interviewing you today.
678
00:35:31,046 --> 00:35:34,414
- [man] Air in five, four, three, two...
- Hello.
679
00:35:34,507 --> 00:35:35,623
[exhales]
680
00:35:35,717 --> 00:35:38,551
Welcome back to New York Metro,
where we're continuing to track
681
00:35:38,637 --> 00:35:41,675
the developing situation
at Litchfield Federal Prison.
682
00:35:41,765 --> 00:35:46,100
Joining us today is Aleida Diaz,
a former inmate at Litchfield.
683
00:35:46,186 --> 00:35:49,725
Miss Diaz, I understand you were
very recently released.
684
00:35:50,732 --> 00:35:52,223
Was I recently released?
685
00:35:55,111 --> 00:35:56,647
[Susan] I'm not sure what you mean.
686
00:35:56,738 --> 00:35:58,104
Exactly, Susie-Q. [chuckles]
687
00:35:59,115 --> 00:36:00,276
It's Susan.
688
00:36:00,367 --> 00:36:05,362
Have you had any contact with anyone
at Litchfield since this situation arose?
689
00:36:05,455 --> 00:36:07,447
Do you...
do you still have friends inside?
690
00:36:08,875 --> 00:36:11,117
Yeah. I... And I talked to them.
691
00:36:11,211 --> 00:36:12,747
Are they okay?
692
00:36:13,588 --> 00:36:16,001
Well, it's hard to get answers
from those bitches, you know?
693
00:36:16,091 --> 00:36:18,629
- Oh. Sorry. Can I say "bitches"?
- You can. [chuckles]
694
00:36:18,718 --> 00:36:20,334
- Well, shit.
- Oh, you can't say that.
695
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:22,886
What kind of fucking
bullshit rule is that?
696
00:36:22,972 --> 00:36:24,088
Okay.
697
00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:27,599
What do you think she's doing, right now?
698
00:36:28,812 --> 00:36:32,772
Probably sitting on her veranda,
699
00:36:32,857 --> 00:36:37,443
being served
some kind of garden fresh salad
700
00:36:37,529 --> 00:36:40,818
with walnuts and goat cheese.
701
00:36:40,907 --> 00:36:46,904
Maybe it's accompanied
by some sort of tropical iced green tea.
702
00:36:46,996 --> 00:36:48,328
Goat cheese.
703
00:36:49,332 --> 00:36:51,119
That's so Judy.
704
00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:53,747
She probably knows the goat it came from.
705
00:36:54,754 --> 00:36:56,620
You think she liked us?
706
00:36:57,590 --> 00:36:58,922
Maybe.
707
00:36:59,008 --> 00:37:01,375
Before we kidnapped her
and nailed her to a cross.
708
00:37:01,469 --> 00:37:02,710
Yeah.
709
00:37:03,430 --> 00:37:06,343
Hand over all your Cheetos and Takis.
Now.
710
00:37:06,433 --> 00:37:08,891
Ooh, Chapman coming in hot!
711
00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:10,517
We didn't get any.
712
00:37:10,603 --> 00:37:12,720
Let's go.
Hand 'em over.
713
00:37:12,814 --> 00:37:16,057
We have no idea what you're talking about.
714
00:37:16,151 --> 00:37:18,188
- You are a liar.
- [Black Cindy] Mmm-hmm.
715
00:37:18,278 --> 00:37:20,645
Anyone ever tell you about
the catching bees with honey thing?
716
00:37:20,739 --> 00:37:23,447
- It's important to draw a hard line.
- The line was, like, 100 feet back.
717
00:37:23,533 --> 00:37:26,401
- Check her fingers.
- [scoffs] Perfect.
718
00:37:26,494 --> 00:37:30,204
'Cause you know what was on my agenda
today? Molest an old lady.
719
00:37:30,999 --> 00:37:32,160
Fine.
720
00:37:33,418 --> 00:37:34,659
I'll do it.
721
00:37:36,421 --> 00:37:37,832
Let me see your fingers.
722
00:37:40,216 --> 00:37:42,583
Let me see your...
Let me see your finger.
723
00:37:42,677 --> 00:37:44,134
- Let me see your fingers.
- [Anita grunts]
724
00:37:45,638 --> 00:37:47,675
- [Black Cindy sighs]
- See?
725
00:37:48,349 --> 00:37:51,933
Holy shit.
Nancy Drew done uncovered a suspect.
726
00:37:52,020 --> 00:37:53,977
- Let's search 'em.
- Now, hold on a second.
727
00:37:54,063 --> 00:37:59,058
You don't have the right
to go through our things like that. But...
728
00:38:00,445 --> 00:38:03,188
- [Piper] Gotcha.
- So much for respecting your elders!
729
00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:05,113
[Black Cindy] Yeah.
730
00:38:07,118 --> 00:38:08,484
Psst.
731
00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:09,659
Psst!
732
00:38:20,673 --> 00:38:22,790
- You gonna miss me?
- Nah.
733
00:38:22,884 --> 00:38:26,343
You just jealous
'cause I got a family and you don't.
734
00:38:27,847 --> 00:38:29,679
Family ain't got nothing to do with it.
735
00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:32,174
You think these people gonna like you?
736
00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:36,471
They sitting at home,
having themselves a nice little life,
737
00:38:36,564 --> 00:38:40,057
and then some hood rat gonna move in
and shit's gonna be like the Cosbys?
738
00:38:40,944 --> 00:38:42,901
[chuckles] Girl, you trippin'.
739
00:38:44,113 --> 00:38:45,399
Well...
740
00:38:46,908 --> 00:38:50,117
I hope one day you find your family,
same as me.
741
00:39:02,423 --> 00:39:05,257
I told y'all! [laughing]
742
00:39:05,343 --> 00:39:06,754
[squeals]
743
00:39:06,845 --> 00:39:08,131
[sighs]
744
00:39:10,473 --> 00:39:11,509
Don't mind them.
745
00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:13,010
[laughing]
746
00:39:14,602 --> 00:39:16,434
Yo, where should I put this?
In the back?
747
00:39:16,521 --> 00:39:17,853
[stutters] Taystee...
748
00:39:19,399 --> 00:39:20,389
I'm so sorry.
749
00:39:23,027 --> 00:39:24,484
You... you can't come live with us.
750
00:39:27,407 --> 00:39:28,488
Wait...
751
00:39:29,409 --> 00:39:31,196
Why?
Ms. Tendler said that you...
752
00:39:31,286 --> 00:39:32,697
[stutters] I'm...
753
00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:35,245
I don't think she understood
what I was trying to tell her.
754
00:39:35,331 --> 00:39:36,697
Why can't I come?
755
00:39:36,791 --> 00:39:38,453
It's just not a good time for us.
756
00:39:39,669 --> 00:39:40,910
Us.
757
00:39:42,463 --> 00:39:44,876
- Right.
- Uh, look.
758
00:39:44,966 --> 00:39:46,548
I want you to take this.
759
00:39:47,510 --> 00:39:49,627
It's not much, but I want to help you.
760
00:39:51,306 --> 00:39:54,470
Did you tell them... about me?
761
00:39:56,561 --> 00:39:58,473
- [cries]
- [grunts]
762
00:39:58,563 --> 00:40:01,351
- [crying]
- Guess this is you doin' right, huh?
763
00:40:01,441 --> 00:40:02,522
What's right for you!
764
00:40:04,861 --> 00:40:08,855
- Maybe I need to start doin' that, too.
- Taystee, wait!
765
00:40:13,786 --> 00:40:15,322
[sobbing]
766
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:20,032
All right.
Now I have a question.
767
00:40:20,126 --> 00:40:23,460
How many of y'all took the stands
at your all's trials? Raise your hand.
768
00:40:26,341 --> 00:40:29,129
Wow! Ain't that some bull?
Well, neither did I.
769
00:40:29,218 --> 00:40:32,086
'Cause my lawyer told me
that I was a detriment to myself.
770
00:40:32,180 --> 00:40:34,297
[chuckles] Now, at the time,
I didn't take offense,
771
00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:37,007
because I was rather high
most of the time.
772
00:40:37,101 --> 00:40:39,388
And you know my brain wires weren't
firing correctly,
773
00:40:39,479 --> 00:40:40,720
if you know what I mean.
774
00:40:41,814 --> 00:40:45,182
But today, I'm standing here, right,
and I'm looking around at all of y'all.
775
00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:47,939
And I'm thinking... we can do better.
776
00:40:48,029 --> 00:40:50,567
No, fuck that.
We have to do better than this.
777
00:40:50,657 --> 00:40:53,115
But you know what?
It really needs to be fair.
778
00:40:53,201 --> 00:40:56,285
Without all the goobly-goop of lawyers
and judges and the system and stuff.
779
00:40:56,371 --> 00:40:58,488
- Hmm.
- [Pennsatucky] Right?
780
00:40:58,581 --> 00:40:59,867
So, listen...
781
00:41:00,959 --> 00:41:02,245
I helped Donuts escape.
782
00:41:02,335 --> 00:41:03,792
- [all sigh]
- [Big Boo] What? Oh, Jesus!
783
00:41:03,878 --> 00:41:05,460
Oh, please.
784
00:41:05,546 --> 00:41:07,208
I strongly suggest
you shut the fuck up, girl.
785
00:41:07,298 --> 00:41:09,836
No. It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
786
00:41:09,926 --> 00:41:13,010
Listen, my friend here,
she's worried that I'm gonna say too much.
787
00:41:13,096 --> 00:41:14,803
But all I can say is the truth.
788
00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:16,509
And the truth is
789
00:41:16,599 --> 00:41:18,431
- I helped the guard escape.
- Oh, fuck.
790
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,803
And, yeah, we had a relationship
that was difficult to define.
791
00:41:22,897 --> 00:41:24,559
It was even confusing at times.
792
00:41:24,649 --> 00:41:26,515
But... let me ask y'all.
793
00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:28,020
What would y'all have done
if you would've found him?
794
00:41:28,111 --> 00:41:30,194
- Cut off his balls.
- Murdered him.
795
00:41:30,279 --> 00:41:31,895
Poo! Poo!
796
00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:34,198
Realistically, we would have
roughed him up a little, you know.
797
00:41:34,283 --> 00:41:35,569
Just poked some shit up his ass,
798
00:41:35,660 --> 00:41:37,947
and then we would've stuck him
in the bubble with the rest of them.
799
00:41:38,037 --> 00:41:40,871
What's the point?
And then what?
800
00:41:40,957 --> 00:41:43,324
So you'd have another hostage. Whee!
801
00:41:44,043 --> 00:41:46,330
And then, another strike on your record.
802
00:41:46,421 --> 00:41:47,537
You know what you'd be doing, actually?
803
00:41:47,630 --> 00:41:49,121
You'd be staring down
the barrel of forever
804
00:41:49,215 --> 00:41:50,797
is what you'd be doing up in here.
805
00:41:50,883 --> 00:41:52,465
This is bullshit!
806
00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:55,386
She's not thinking about us.
She was protecting her boyfriend.
807
00:41:55,471 --> 00:41:56,928
No, it's not true.
Come on. Hey!
808
00:41:57,015 --> 00:42:00,349
Listen, all I can do is stand up here
and tell you how I feel, all right?
809
00:42:00,435 --> 00:42:03,269
I'm a person.
I'm talking to people.
810
00:42:03,354 --> 00:42:04,470
Okay?
811
00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:06,726
I'm just gonna leave you all to it.
How about that?
812
00:42:06,816 --> 00:42:07,806
And if y'all think that I deserve
813
00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:10,142
to be thrown up in the poo-poo
or whatever, then fine.
814
00:42:10,236 --> 00:42:12,319
That makes you no better than them.
815
00:42:12,405 --> 00:42:14,397
You know, that's really sad,
because they suck.
816
00:42:15,366 --> 00:42:18,780
We had the chance to rule hard up in here.
Y'all don't wanna rule?
817
00:42:51,069 --> 00:42:53,061
Hey. Uh...
818
00:42:53,154 --> 00:42:55,237
- I thought I'd tell you something.
- Uh-huh.
819
00:42:55,782 --> 00:42:57,068
[sighs]
820
00:42:57,158 --> 00:42:58,945
Ah! Let me guess.
821
00:43:00,161 --> 00:43:05,077
Uh, you regret that your clit was
vibrating on my tongue 45 minutes ago,
822
00:43:05,166 --> 00:43:06,782
we can never do this again.
823
00:43:06,876 --> 00:43:08,538
Uh, you made a vow,
824
00:43:08,628 --> 00:43:10,961
you need to commit to Vinnie,
something like that?
825
00:43:11,047 --> 00:43:12,834
- Right? I mean, I get it.
- [sighs]
826
00:43:13,925 --> 00:43:15,257
I memorized it.
827
00:43:16,636 --> 00:43:18,218
You can save it. [chuckles]
828
00:43:18,304 --> 00:43:19,636
No.
829
00:43:21,641 --> 00:43:22,973
I'm pregnant.
830
00:43:23,059 --> 00:43:24,266
[smacks lips]
831
00:43:25,228 --> 00:43:29,268
- That is a twist I was not expecting.
- [laughs]
832
00:43:30,483 --> 00:43:32,566
I realized it when... when we was...
833
00:43:32,652 --> 00:43:34,769
I was looking down at you,
and then I saw,
834
00:43:34,862 --> 00:43:37,275
"Oh! Oh, my nipples are, like,
835
00:43:37,365 --> 00:43:40,358
two, three shades darker
than they normally are."
836
00:43:41,202 --> 00:43:43,535
And, that's, like,
a thing for the Morello women
837
00:43:43,621 --> 00:43:45,203
when we've got the bun in the oven.
838
00:43:46,374 --> 00:43:47,535
[Lorna chuckles]
839
00:43:49,794 --> 00:43:51,126
That's great. Uh...
840
00:43:52,046 --> 00:43:55,790
- Did you take a pregnancy test?
- Nope. No.
841
00:43:55,883 --> 00:43:58,626
No, I don't need a test.
I... I know.
842
00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:01,962
And that is why I've been so horny.
843
00:44:02,056 --> 00:44:03,342
Ah!
844
00:44:05,893 --> 00:44:07,725
[laughs] Oh, fuck!
845
00:44:07,812 --> 00:44:10,805
Why are you laughing? No.
No, no, no. I'm... I'm...
846
00:44:10,898 --> 00:44:13,436
This is not funny.
I'm serious.
847
00:44:13,526 --> 00:44:16,314
Oh, yes. I know you're serious.
I know, baby.
848
00:44:16,404 --> 00:44:19,988
And that is the problem.
Because you are also bat-shit crazy.
849
00:44:21,742 --> 00:44:23,074
[laughing]
850
00:44:30,877 --> 00:44:33,494
I didn't mean to lead you on, honey.
851
00:44:33,588 --> 00:44:35,045
It's the hormones.
852
00:44:35,131 --> 00:44:37,748
The hormones, they made me do it with you.
853
00:44:41,762 --> 00:44:44,505
I love you so much, Lorna.
854
00:44:46,100 --> 00:44:47,386
But, you know...
855
00:44:48,978 --> 00:44:52,688
you can't just, like, uh,
keep doing whatever the fuck you want
856
00:44:52,773 --> 00:44:54,605
and then thinking it's gonna be okay.
857
00:44:56,110 --> 00:44:58,523
[stutters] And the days of this, uh...
858
00:44:58,613 --> 00:45:01,856
crazy being quirky and cute...
859
00:45:01,949 --> 00:45:04,532
it's past.
It's sad, you know?
860
00:45:04,619 --> 00:45:06,861
I mean, you need help,
and I can't help you,
861
00:45:06,954 --> 00:45:08,286
'cause I need to help myself.
862
00:45:08,372 --> 00:45:11,581
Or maybe, uh, what if you go see
the prison therapist, right?
863
00:45:11,667 --> 00:45:13,158
See what she has to say about it.
864
00:45:13,252 --> 00:45:15,084
I'm pretty sure she's gonna tell me...
865
00:45:15,171 --> 00:45:18,005
[stammering] She's gonna call me a dumbass
866
00:45:18,090 --> 00:45:20,127
sucker crazy person
for letting myself do this again.
867
00:45:20,218 --> 00:45:21,834
And then tell me
868
00:45:21,928 --> 00:45:26,514
to never, ever, ever
do this again, right?
869
00:45:26,599 --> 00:45:29,842
And this time, I'm gonna listen to her...
870
00:45:29,936 --> 00:45:32,223
'cause she's the expert, right?
871
00:45:32,313 --> 00:45:33,303
[scoffs]
872
00:45:38,319 --> 00:45:40,402
It's too late. [sniffles]
873
00:45:40,488 --> 00:45:42,229
I drank, like, eight bottles, okay.
874
00:45:42,323 --> 00:45:45,487
I'm sorry for being such a fuckup.
875
00:45:45,576 --> 00:45:47,738
[sniffles] I love you guys so much.
876
00:45:50,164 --> 00:45:51,780
Dye is nontoxic.
877
00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:53,581
What?
878
00:45:53,668 --> 00:45:56,456
I mean, you'll probably have bad squirts
for a couple days.
879
00:45:56,545 --> 00:45:59,913
And I have some of those wet nappies
in the bathroom, if you need them.
880
00:46:00,007 --> 00:46:01,498
[sighs] Oh, man.
881
00:46:02,510 --> 00:46:04,126
I can't even kill myself right.
882
00:46:04,220 --> 00:46:07,429
Honey, your dad and me...
883
00:46:07,515 --> 00:46:09,632
we think you need some real help.
884
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:12,684
You think so?
885
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:15,683
Yeah! I do.
Of course I fucking do!
886
00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:18,732
All right, I got myself arrested.
887
00:46:18,818 --> 00:46:21,561
I have been begging to die.
888
00:46:22,238 --> 00:46:24,104
And all you guys want to say is,
889
00:46:24,198 --> 00:46:26,941
"Things will be fine,"
and, "Life's complicated."
890
00:46:27,034 --> 00:46:28,616
Finally!
891
00:46:28,703 --> 00:46:31,161
Make sure they lock me up somewhere
for a very long time.
892
00:46:31,247 --> 00:46:32,533
Please!
893
00:46:47,013 --> 00:46:48,345
This is the spot?
894
00:46:48,431 --> 00:46:50,138
What the hell is going on here?
895
00:46:50,224 --> 00:46:51,385
Beats us.
896
00:46:56,188 --> 00:46:59,681
Well, don't dawdle out there.
Come in, come in.
897
00:47:18,586 --> 00:47:20,748
You did this all yourself?
898
00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:22,579
Sure did.
899
00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:25,165
Wow. So you're like
one of those mole people
900
00:47:25,259 --> 00:47:27,922
that they do special news reports
and horror movies about?
901
00:47:28,888 --> 00:47:30,720
Yeah, we prefer "survivalist."
902
00:47:30,806 --> 00:47:32,138
Don't insult the woman.
903
00:47:33,100 --> 00:47:35,308
This is, uh, really great, Frieda.
904
00:47:35,394 --> 00:47:37,351
Thanks for showing us.
905
00:47:37,438 --> 00:47:39,930
But I probably should be getting
back upstairs and, uh...
906
00:47:40,024 --> 00:47:41,981
No. We're gonna stay here.
907
00:47:42,068 --> 00:47:43,229
All of us.
908
00:47:43,819 --> 00:47:45,981
I guess this is how it ends.
909
00:47:46,072 --> 00:47:49,816
Well, this is your chance to retire
from all that nonsense out there.
910
00:47:49,909 --> 00:47:52,902
Ain't you tired
of dealing with numbskulls?
911
00:47:52,995 --> 00:47:55,203
Fighting for food?
912
00:47:55,289 --> 00:48:00,250
Trying to find a minute of quiet
without someone squawking in your ear?
913
00:48:01,128 --> 00:48:03,745
Don't you feel taken for granted?
914
00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:09,293
I got enough supplies down here
for all of us.
915
00:48:10,346 --> 00:48:13,305
It's, maybe, a little cramped?
916
00:48:14,141 --> 00:48:15,723
Huh.
917
00:48:15,810 --> 00:48:17,267
"Thank you, Frieda."
918
00:48:17,353 --> 00:48:20,767
"Gee, this is awful nice of you, Frieda."
919
00:48:29,615 --> 00:48:31,948
Come on.
You don't need to be scared.
920
00:48:32,034 --> 00:48:33,570
I bet that's what they tell the cows
921
00:48:33,661 --> 00:48:35,653
right before they send them
down the chute.
922
00:48:52,555 --> 00:48:53,796
This could work.
923
00:48:58,060 --> 00:49:00,803
This is amazing, Frieda!
924
00:49:02,106 --> 00:49:03,688
I got dibs on shuffleboard.
925
00:49:03,774 --> 00:49:05,686
Does this thing have Frogger?
926
00:49:07,695 --> 00:49:09,027
[chuckles]
927
00:49:10,364 --> 00:49:12,356
Watch out for the cords there.
928
00:49:18,372 --> 00:49:19,658
[indistinct chatter]
929
00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:21,949
What the hell were you thinking?
930
00:49:22,042 --> 00:49:23,704
Aren't you tired
of asking me that question?
931
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:25,831
'Cause I sure as shit am
tired of answering it.
932
00:49:25,921 --> 00:49:27,583
Yeah. Well, they're gonna crucify you.
933
00:49:27,673 --> 00:49:30,916
- So? It'll only take a few hours.
- What?
934
00:49:32,052 --> 00:49:35,545
What? This... this is all
gonna be over soon.
935
00:49:35,639 --> 00:49:37,255
Okay, let 'em throw me in the Poo.
936
00:49:37,349 --> 00:49:39,306
It's all gonna go back
to the way it was, anyhow.
937
00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:40,600
None of this is for long.
938
00:49:42,855 --> 00:49:44,642
You know, you really freak me out
when you're smart.
939
00:49:44,732 --> 00:49:46,314
Yeah, well, you and me, both, okay?
940
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:50,144
[chuckles] I just thank Jesus
that my brain wires are connecting today.
941
00:49:54,074 --> 00:49:55,736
- [clears throat]
- Oh.
942
00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:56,907
We have our verdict.
943
00:50:04,668 --> 00:50:06,625
We discussed your case...
944
00:50:06,712 --> 00:50:09,750
came up with something
that's almost unanimous.
945
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:11,126
[Leanne scoffs]
946
00:50:11,217 --> 00:50:13,675
So, Tiffany Doggett...
947
00:50:14,637 --> 00:50:17,345
for crimes against our community,
we assign you...
948
00:50:18,265 --> 00:50:20,348
- community service.
- Yes.
949
00:50:20,434 --> 00:50:23,848
Next step is we'll sit down,
talk about your skills,
950
00:50:23,938 --> 00:50:26,806
and figure out how you can best
contribute to your community.
951
00:50:28,234 --> 00:50:30,942
We'll just be people, talking.
952
00:50:31,862 --> 00:50:33,398
- Like you said.
- Bullshit.
953
00:50:33,489 --> 00:50:37,733
We don't all agree, but so long as
we're all in here doing this thing,
954
00:50:37,826 --> 00:50:42,446
we think that our justice system
should focus on rehabilitation. Yeah?
955
00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:45,032
One crime should not define a person.
956
00:50:45,125 --> 00:50:47,037
Thank you. Yeah.
I'm gonna make you guys so proud.
957
00:50:47,127 --> 00:50:48,208
- You'll see.
- [chuckles]
958
00:50:49,505 --> 00:50:51,462
Poo! Poo! Poo!
959
00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:53,165
Does she have a reset button?
960
00:50:57,721 --> 00:50:59,633
It's like watching
the most predictable movie.
961
00:51:00,766 --> 00:51:02,849
At least I'm doing something.
962
00:51:02,935 --> 00:51:05,643
Plus, I'm probably gonna get
pretty toned in the process.
963
00:51:06,814 --> 00:51:09,807
Goodbye, honey! Have a good day at work!
You're a ridiculous human!
964
00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:12,643
Man, these bitches are
fucking us over so hard.
965
00:51:12,736 --> 00:51:15,979
I know, right? What am I gonna do
when I have a snack attack or my period?
966
00:51:16,073 --> 00:51:19,908
I can respect the moral code,
but being that blindly committed...
967
00:51:20,995 --> 00:51:22,531
that's when shit gets dangerous.
968
00:51:24,248 --> 00:51:25,910
[man over PA] Okay, 10 minutes.
969
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:27,457
[Kristen] India was my favorite section
970
00:51:27,543 --> 00:51:29,705
because it kind of reminded me
of being in here, you know,
971
00:51:29,795 --> 00:51:31,377
being forced
to deprive yourself and stuff.
972
00:51:31,463 --> 00:51:34,046
Yeah. No, it was like Weight Watchers,
973
00:51:34,133 --> 00:51:36,295
but with, like, more cows
and less point counting.
974
00:51:36,385 --> 00:51:39,128
Prison's like free Weight Watchers.
I've lost, like, at least five pounds.
975
00:51:39,221 --> 00:51:41,759
[Ashley] Like I haven't noticed.
Those khakis are falling off of you.
976
00:51:41,849 --> 00:51:42,839
[Kristen] Thank you.
977
00:51:42,933 --> 00:51:45,767
- [Ashley] But now I'm hungry.
- [chuckles] Oh, my God, I'm starving.
978
00:51:45,853 --> 00:51:48,266
- Commissary ice cream?
- Fuck to the yes.
979
00:51:48,355 --> 00:51:50,347
[man over PA]
Be all notified of gate time.
980
00:51:51,692 --> 00:51:55,652
[Poussey] "Amanda, I will not stop
until my ass is so small
981
00:51:55,738 --> 00:51:57,274
it disappears entirely.
982
00:51:57,364 --> 00:52:00,732
[gasps] You heard about this new diet
where you eat cookies and ice cream,
983
00:52:00,826 --> 00:52:02,283
and you still lose weight?
984
00:52:02,369 --> 00:52:04,156
Ooh! It's called bulimia."
985
00:52:04,246 --> 00:52:05,737
- [chuckles]
- "And, oh!
986
00:52:05,831 --> 00:52:08,118
I love it so much.
It's a miracle."
987
00:52:09,877 --> 00:52:13,291
"Oh, Mackenzie, I have always been
jealous of your willpower.
988
00:52:13,380 --> 00:52:15,087
I'm like a house ever since Mark
989
00:52:15,174 --> 00:52:18,417
invested in that new modern
American bistro up the street.
990
00:52:18,510 --> 00:52:21,218
You would die for their artisanal sodas.
991
00:52:21,305 --> 00:52:25,299
Peach, lavender, rose petal.
Yes, please!"
992
00:52:26,352 --> 00:52:28,014
'Sup, Amanda?
993
00:52:28,103 --> 00:52:29,435
Mackenzie.
994
00:52:29,521 --> 00:52:32,309
- When'd you get in?
- [sighs] Yesterday.
995
00:52:32,399 --> 00:52:35,938
Well, you've got good taste in books,
so you're all right with me.
996
00:52:38,197 --> 00:52:40,405
- Taystee.
- Poussey.
997
00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:44,326
[chuckles] Your mama did not
name you Pussy.
998
00:52:44,411 --> 00:52:46,198
Yo. For real?
999
00:52:46,288 --> 00:52:49,702
I mean, you all new and talking shit
with a name like Taystee?
1000
00:52:49,792 --> 00:52:52,830
That's fair.
My bad. [chuckles]
1001
00:52:53,545 --> 00:52:55,878
Look, you let me know
if you need anything in here, okay?
1002
00:52:55,964 --> 00:52:59,253
Okay. I will.
Thanks.
1003
00:52:59,343 --> 00:53:02,131
And, um, you can take Alice for now.
1004
00:53:02,221 --> 00:53:04,463
'Cause she's good at
keepin' folks company.
1005
00:53:04,556 --> 00:53:05,637
She's my favorite.
1006
00:53:05,724 --> 00:53:07,215
So I'm gonna
need that shit back eventually.
1007
00:53:08,435 --> 00:53:09,596
Deal.
1008
00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:12,429
Yeah.
1009
00:53:14,358 --> 00:53:16,270
- [both snap fingers]
- Welcome to prison. [chuckles]
1010
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:17,567
[sighs]
1011
00:53:19,113 --> 00:53:20,445
[officer] Right, hold on.
They're coming back.
1012
00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:22,443
- [Taystee] Get this on tape, huh!
- Y'all wanna bribe?
1013
00:53:22,533 --> 00:53:24,274
[Taystee] Get this on tape!
1014
00:53:24,368 --> 00:53:25,859
[Black Cindy] Anybody want some chips?
1015
00:53:27,830 --> 00:53:29,617
I think that's all of 'em.
1016
00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:31,243
Only minus the snacks in bellies.
1017
00:53:31,333 --> 00:53:32,869
And tampons in vaginas.
1018
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:34,872
- Okay. We're good to go.
- [door opens]
1019
00:53:34,962 --> 00:53:36,419
[panting] Yo, what the hell!
1020
00:53:37,631 --> 00:53:38,963
We burning the bribe.
1021
00:53:39,049 --> 00:53:41,962
Oh, fuck, yeah.
Yo, that's what I'm talking about, T.
1022
00:53:42,845 --> 00:53:43,881
Uh-huh.
1023
00:53:45,889 --> 00:53:47,096
Call her.
1024
00:53:49,518 --> 00:53:52,477
Hi, Nita.
Welcome to the party.
1025
00:53:53,814 --> 00:53:55,100
What are you doing?
1026
00:53:55,190 --> 00:53:56,931
Flaming Cheetos, y'all!
1027
00:53:57,025 --> 00:53:59,062
Hey, T, tell this woman what we want.
1028
00:53:59,153 --> 00:54:01,736
We want to be motherfuckin' taken serious!
1029
00:54:01,822 --> 00:54:03,108
- Hell, yeah!
- That's right!
1030
00:54:03,198 --> 00:54:04,734
Bye, Nita!
1031
00:54:04,825 --> 00:54:06,441
Bye, girl! Bye!
1032
00:54:07,369 --> 00:54:08,951
- [officer] All right. Back up. Back up!
- [all exclaim]
1033
00:54:09,037 --> 00:54:11,495
Whoa! Shit!
1034
00:54:12,124 --> 00:54:13,990
Burn, bitch, burn!
1035
00:54:14,084 --> 00:54:16,292
Fuck you, Piscatella! Yeah!
1036
00:54:16,378 --> 00:54:17,914
What you got to say now?
1037
00:54:32,394 --> 00:54:34,807
[rock song playing]