﻿1
00:00:16,923 --> 00:00:19,031
<i>Previously on The Last Man on Earth...</i>

2
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Let's have Todd put my baby in you.

3
00:00:21,361 --> 00:00:23,129
No friggin' way.

4
00:00:23,163 --> 00:00:25,987
Mike Shelby Miller,
will you be our sperm?

5
00:00:26,247 --> 00:00:27,400
I-I'd be honored.

6
00:00:27,879 --> 00:00:29,236
Friggin' ridiculous.

7
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(laughs) I'm pregnant!

8
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(squeals, laughs)

9
00:00:32,279 --> 00:00:33,313
Oh!

10
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(buzzing quietly)

11
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I still can't believe I'm not sterile.

12
00:00:42,867 --> 00:00:44,076
(both chuckle)

13
00:00:44,274 --> 00:00:46,677
You didn't masturbate
too much, after all.

14
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,199
Yeah, it was just the right amount.

15
00:00:48,402 --> 00:00:49,145
Thank you.

16
00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:52,140
I am so proud of your sperm.

17
00:00:52,390 --> 00:00:53,658
I am, too.

18
00:00:54,212 --> 00:00:55,696
Guys, guys.

19
00:00:55,924 --> 00:00:57,932
Gail, Carol is pregnant.

20
00:00:57,940 --> 00:01:00,090
Yeah? Okay, good.
Whatever. Good for you.

21
00:01:00,115 --> 00:01:01,917
You're not gonna believe the crazy thing

22
00:01:01,942 --> 00:01:03,156
I just saw out there.

23
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It was a flying record player!

24
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It just came out of the
sky, came right at me!

25
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It was like... (yells)

26
00:01:09,648 --> 00:01:11,682
Like when you go to, um,

27
00:01:11,707 --> 00:01:13,685
you know, Waffle House. It was like...

28
00:01:14,068 --> 00:01:15,870
it was flying skillets.

29
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,444
It was, uh, no. It was like...

30
00:01:17,665 --> 00:01:20,252
two hovering griddles.

31
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Gail, honey, how much have
you had to drink today?

32
00:01:22,988 --> 00:01:24,211
A lady never tells.

33
00:01:24,241 --> 00:01:25,632
Gail, I think everybody's just saying

34
00:01:25,657 --> 00:01:27,372
that sometimes you drink a little bit.

35
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A lot a bit.

36
00:01:28,570 --> 00:01:31,115
Well, maybe you're just a little
confused about what you saw.

37
00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:32,520
I know exactly what I saw out there!

38
00:01:32,545 --> 00:01:36,201
There was a whole mess of-of
floating hair dryers,

39
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and they were staring right at me!

40
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(slurring): Do y'all really
think I "mrink" too much?

41
00:01:43,182 --> 00:01:44,265
Well, I think you might have answered

42
00:01:44,290 --> 00:01:45,459
your own question there.

43
00:01:51,875 --> 00:01:53,569
Oh, farts.

44
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TANDY: Mmm.

45
00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:09,420
(laughs)

46
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Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

47
00:02:13,225 --> 00:02:14,488
Mmm.

48
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TODD: What the hell's going on in here?

49
00:02:21,002 --> 00:02:22,177
Nothing.

50
00:02:23,712 --> 00:02:24,868
Really?

51
00:02:26,723 --> 00:02:30,394
'Cause it doesn't smell like nothing.

52
00:02:32,199 --> 00:02:33,532
Mike farted.

53
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:34,493
Yeah.

54
00:02:34,518 --> 00:02:35,854
Yeah, I-I farted.

55
00:02:36,053 --> 00:02:38,123
(laughs) Oh.

56
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That's funny.

57
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'Cause your farts smell
like freshly cooked bacon.

58
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,350
Thank you.

59
00:02:52,663 --> 00:02:54,008
TANDY: Todd, we're adults here,

60
00:02:54,033 --> 00:02:56,155
and I'm gonna be honest
with you about this.

61
00:02:56,463 --> 00:02:58,191
Mike and I just finished off the bacon.

62
00:02:59,793 --> 00:03:01,984
Uh, but I-I did fart.

63
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You guys finished the bacon.

64
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MIKE: Mm-hmm.

65
00:03:07,399 --> 00:03:08,861
That's cool.

66
00:03:08,921 --> 00:03:10,991
Thank you, Todd.

67
00:03:13,463 --> 00:03:15,119
You want, uh, any cracklins, braheem?

68
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(shouting): No, I don't want
any friggin' cracklins, braheem!

69
00:03:21,687 --> 00:03:25,851
You know, I was wondering
if it ever crossed your mind

70
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to consult with me first.

71
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You know, I'm guessing it didn't, Tandy.

72
00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:33,360
Did it? (chuckles softly)

73
00:03:33,767 --> 00:03:34,768
Did it?!

74
00:03:36,709 --> 00:03:40,172
I found this bacon.

75
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- We ran this by the group...
- Yeah.

76
00:03:43,407 --> 00:03:44,904
And everyone agreed

77
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that Mike should get
to finish off the bacon,

78
00:03:46,991 --> 00:03:48,593
'cause he hasn't had any yet.

79
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Everyone?

80
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That's funny, 'cause
last time I checked,

81
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I was part and parcel of "everyone."

82
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We looked for you everywhere,

83
00:03:56,982 --> 00:03:58,577
and we couldn't find you, bud.

84
00:03:58,602 --> 00:04:00,685
Well, you didn't look hard enough, bud.

85
00:04:09,106 --> 00:04:10,775
So where are you from in Australia?

86
00:04:10,862 --> 00:04:12,623
- All over. Yeah.
- Oh, yeah? Yeah?

87
00:04:12,648 --> 00:04:13,496
I've actually, um,

88
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:15,071
- I've been to Adelaide. Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.

89
00:04:15,096 --> 00:04:17,457
I actually spent a bit
of time in Adelaide.

90
00:04:17,482 --> 00:04:19,921
Oh, well, then, yeah, you know.
Wh-What were you doing there?

91
00:04:20,757 --> 00:04:22,075
Okay, um...

92
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(chuckles)

93
00:04:23,267 --> 00:04:28,113
I should say that I<i> did</i>
a bit of time in Adelaide.

94
00:04:29,418 --> 00:04:30,704
- I was in jail.
- Oh.

95
00:04:31,815 --> 00:04:32,819
Wow.

96
00:04:32,852 --> 00:04:36,751
I somehow got arrested,
uh, for leaving a bank

97
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,378
with some money that wasn't mine.

98
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,469
- Uh-huh. -
And then a man

99
00:04:39,494 --> 00:04:42,030
in a uniform found a gun on me

100
00:04:42,122 --> 00:04:44,191
that turned out to be mine.

101
00:04:44,216 --> 00:04:46,418
So you're talking about armed robbery.

102
00:04:46,443 --> 00:04:48,775
Oh, more like an armed misunderstanding.

103
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:50,302
And how did that go over in court?

104
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Well, as I said, I did a bit
of time in Adelaide. (laughs)

105
00:04:53,437 --> 00:04:55,036
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm,
yeah. (laughs)

106
00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:56,105
- Yeah.
- So, well,

107
00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:57,793
then how'd you end up, you
know, here in the States?

108
00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,621
Oh, I got a job at the State Department.

109
00:04:59,785 --> 00:05:01,441
They hired you with a criminal record?

110
00:05:01,466 --> 00:05:02,621
They didn't hire me.

111
00:05:02,646 --> 00:05:04,986
(American accent): They
hired Amanda Williams

112
00:05:05,011 --> 00:05:06,722
from Cleveland, Ohio.

113
00:05:06,747 --> 00:05:08,452
Majored in political science

114
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at<i> the</i> Ohio State University.

115
00:05:10,689 --> 00:05:12,090
Go Pi Phi!

116
00:05:12,158 --> 00:05:12,964
Go! Whoo!

117
00:05:12,989 --> 00:05:14,472
That's amaz... you know, you're like

118
00:05:14,474 --> 00:05:16,897
- the most interesting person alive.
- Nah.

119
00:05:16,922 --> 00:05:18,390
Yeah, does everybody
else know about this?

120
00:05:18,414 --> 00:05:19,263
Hell no.

121
00:05:19,264 --> 00:05:20,633
What are you talk... why not?

122
00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:22,316
They've never asked me.

123
00:05:22,441 --> 00:05:24,169
It's like they just latched
onto the Australia thing

124
00:05:24,194 --> 00:05:25,530
and stopped right there.

125
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(Australian accent): Cheers,
Erica! Dingoes ate my baby!

126
00:05:28,007 --> 00:05:29,008
Didgeridoo!

127
00:05:29,309 --> 00:05:29,938
(normal voice): What's up, Mike?

128
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:31,343
Hey, Phil. G'day.

129
00:05:31,376 --> 00:05:32,511
Yep.

130
00:05:36,575 --> 00:05:37,896
Hey, bud.

131
00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:40,091
Thinking about going out

132
00:05:40,116 --> 00:05:42,177
and burning down the Santa Monica Pier.

133
00:05:42,372 --> 00:05:43,372
You want to come with?

134
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,943
Yeah, what, was your bacon brother busy?

135
00:05:46,092 --> 00:05:47,494
(sighs)

136
00:05:47,677 --> 00:05:49,095
Come on, T.

137
00:05:49,395 --> 00:05:51,148
You're my original bacon brother.

138
00:05:51,173 --> 00:05:52,841
I'm talking OBB.

139
00:05:52,866 --> 00:05:55,703
And you want to hazard a guess
as to who's down with OBB?

140
00:05:56,269 --> 00:05:57,272
Huh?

141
00:05:58,637 --> 00:06:00,038
Every last Tandy.

142
00:06:00,071 --> 00:06:00,833
Oh, come on.

143
00:06:00,858 --> 00:06:02,322
Tandy, ever since Mike showed up,

144
00:06:02,347 --> 00:06:03,761
you don't have time for me anymore.

145
00:06:03,786 --> 00:06:05,061
Oh, don't you dare.

146
00:06:05,123 --> 00:06:06,858
Uh, every time I try
to hang out with you,

147
00:06:06,922 --> 00:06:08,855
you're always either
with Gail or Melissa.

148
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,767
- That is not true!
- Oh, yes, it is.

149
00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:12,555
You're just like one of
those guys who as soon

150
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:15,020
as they get two girlfriends,
they just disappear.

151
00:06:15,045 --> 00:06:15,831
No, you know what?

152
00:06:15,856 --> 00:06:17,405
I'm your backup plan.

153
00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:18,669
Your number two.

154
00:06:18,694 --> 00:06:20,551
And it's totally appropriate, Tandy,

155
00:06:20,576 --> 00:06:22,821
because that's exactly
how you make me feel.

156
00:06:23,375 --> 00:06:25,698
Like a big old number two.

157
00:06:25,860 --> 00:06:27,800
And you know where you
dropped that stinky?

158
00:06:28,461 --> 00:06:29,737
Right here.

159
00:06:31,143 --> 00:06:32,905
On my heart.

160
00:06:39,651 --> 00:06:42,721
Yes, yes. Here we are. Okay.

161
00:06:43,527 --> 00:06:45,964
You still waiting on
your date there, ma'am?

162
00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:47,940
Oh, I lied about that
to keep the creeps away.

163
00:06:48,018 --> 00:06:48,998
Really?

164
00:06:49,036 --> 00:06:50,262
Would you mind if I joined you, then?

165
00:06:50,287 --> 00:06:51,554
I don't know. Are you a creep?

166
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:53,070
Yeah, I think so.

167
00:06:53,102 --> 00:06:55,378
(laughs): Well, in that case, sit down.

168
00:06:55,403 --> 00:06:57,859
All right, let that be there.

169
00:06:57,909 --> 00:06:58,863
Yeah.

170
00:06:58,888 --> 00:07:00,869
Although, I feel like I should tell you,

171
00:07:00,894 --> 00:07:02,563
I am carrying another man's baby.

172
00:07:02,847 --> 00:07:04,249
You are? Wow.

173
00:07:04,314 --> 00:07:05,715
Well, that's complicated.

174
00:07:05,748 --> 00:07:06,453
On the plus side,

175
00:07:06,478 --> 00:07:09,047
I am the only single
woman left on the planet.

176
00:07:09,071 --> 00:07:11,140
Ah. Okay. See, I can work with that.

177
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:11,915
That's nice, yeah.

178
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:13,380
Well, I guess, if we're
being honest with each other,

179
00:07:13,405 --> 00:07:15,394
I should let you know
that I'm, uh, married.

180
00:07:15,419 --> 00:07:17,253
- Chef Miyagi!
- Mm-hmm.

181
00:07:17,278 --> 00:07:19,063
Yeah, but it's okay. I'm
getting a divorce soon.

182
00:07:19,088 --> 00:07:21,083
Yeah, my brother's actually
sleeping with my wife.

183
00:07:21,117 --> 00:07:22,552
(laughs)

184
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:32,287
(groans) Water.

185
00:07:32,527 --> 00:07:34,129
It burns my throat.

186
00:07:34,363 --> 00:07:35,931
I just don't like it.

187
00:07:35,965 --> 00:07:37,338
You'll get used to it.

188
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:39,282
Maybe I'll try putting an olive in it.

189
00:07:39,307 --> 00:07:41,103
Transition into it, you know?

190
00:07:41,136 --> 00:07:42,947
(groans) Hello.

191
00:07:42,972 --> 00:07:45,416
Oh, Geez of Nazareth!

192
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,163
Man, you got to stop

193
00:07:47,188 --> 00:07:49,691
coming up on me like that, Carol.

194
00:07:49,772 --> 00:07:52,381
I'm gonna start making people
wear bells around their necks.

195
00:07:53,232 --> 00:07:55,785
Uh, Gail's trying to stop
drinking, so she's a little...

196
00:07:55,864 --> 00:07:58,221
well, you saw her.

197
00:07:58,661 --> 00:08:00,390
Well, good for you, Gail.

198
00:08:00,422 --> 00:08:03,125
And as a show of solidarity,
I'm gonna join you.

199
00:08:03,239 --> 00:08:04,760
I can't drink, anyway.

200
00:08:04,926 --> 00:08:06,633
Baby on board. Beep, beep!

201
00:08:06,658 --> 00:08:07,759
Out of my way!

202
00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:09,666
(laughs) Yeah.

203
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,258
Not drinking for two now.

204
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:12,902
Well, good luck with that.

205
00:08:12,934 --> 00:08:14,670
Looks like I'm drinking for four now.

206
00:08:24,736 --> 00:08:26,390
Hey, this is actually pretty easy.

207
00:08:26,415 --> 00:08:28,984
Yeah, that motion seems to
come to you pretty naturally.

208
00:08:29,018 --> 00:08:30,285
(laughs)

209
00:08:30,319 --> 00:08:31,787
(coughing)

210
00:08:32,490 --> 00:08:33,248
Doing okay?

211
00:08:33,273 --> 00:08:34,301
Yeah, yeah. No, I'm fine.

212
00:08:34,326 --> 00:08:35,734
Just a little tuckered out, is all.

213
00:08:35,759 --> 00:08:36,720
You're a little tuckered out?

214
00:08:36,745 --> 00:08:38,665
That's funny, I thought
your name was Mike. Boom.

215
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:39,627
Solid.

216
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:40,888
(chuckles): I know.

217
00:08:41,213 --> 00:08:42,221
Hey, bud.

218
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,097
I just want to thank you

219
00:08:44,122 --> 00:08:45,877
for having sex with Carol and stuff.

220
00:08:45,902 --> 00:08:47,436
It-it meant a lot to me.

221
00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:49,547
To be honest with you, I'm
really excited to be an uncle.

222
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,542
Well, you're gonna be a godfather, too.

223
00:08:51,793 --> 00:08:54,273
Well, I guess that's better than
being a godfather three. Boom.

224
00:08:54,383 --> 00:08:55,110
Solid.

225
00:08:55,336 --> 00:08:56,609
I know. (chuckles)

226
00:08:56,781 --> 00:08:58,014
So what do you say?

227
00:08:58,197 --> 00:09:00,315
You want to be our godfather?

228
00:09:00,518 --> 00:09:02,451
(imitating Vito Corleone):
It's an offer I can't refuse.

229
00:09:02,485 --> 00:09:04,298
I don't underst... why
are you talking like that?

230
00:09:04,323 --> 00:09:05,554
TODD: Well, well, well.

231
00:09:06,469 --> 00:09:08,318
Oh, hey, bud. How hangs it?

232
00:09:08,343 --> 00:09:10,039
I was just coming by to get some milk,

233
00:09:10,064 --> 00:09:12,495
but you guys probably already
dried her out, didn't you?

234
00:09:12,831 --> 00:09:14,463
Oh, come on, Toddler.

235
00:09:14,496 --> 00:09:15,964
I'm not a toddler.

236
00:09:16,143 --> 00:09:17,165
I'm a man.

237
00:09:17,198 --> 00:09:18,878
- Hey, Mike is my brother,
- (coughing)

238
00:09:18,903 --> 00:09:20,568
and I'm going to spend time with him,

239
00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:22,553
and I will not apologize for that.

240
00:09:22,578 --> 00:09:23,704
I'm sorry.

241
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,874
Oh, yeah, make me seem
like the crazy one, huh?

242
00:09:25,908 --> 00:09:27,536
- (coughing)
- "Todd's upset at Tandy

243
00:09:27,561 --> 00:09:29,129
for hanging out with his brother."

244
00:09:29,154 --> 00:09:30,512
Huh? Is that how you're gonna spin this?

245
00:09:30,545 --> 00:09:31,840
- I'm not spinning it.
- (coughing continues)

246
00:09:31,865 --> 00:09:34,290
If anything, I'm keeping
it firmly in place!

247
00:09:34,315 --> 00:09:36,877
Okay, you know what? It's
time to face facts, Tandy.

248
00:09:36,902 --> 00:09:38,947
Here's the thing, ever
since he showed up,

249
00:09:38,972 --> 00:09:40,708
you don't have any time...

250
00:09:42,275 --> 00:09:43,644
Good God.

251
00:09:55,838 --> 00:09:58,599
It's just a cold, okay? Or allergies.

252
00:09:58,624 --> 00:10:00,659
But Todd said he coughed up blood!

253
00:10:00,692 --> 00:10:02,698
You know what? Uh, Todd's
just spreading rumors.

254
00:10:02,723 --> 00:10:03,700
Yeah, that's right.

255
00:10:03,725 --> 00:10:06,122
You know where he
works? At the rumor mill.

256
00:10:06,379 --> 00:10:07,830
Yeah, and, uh, you know what his name

257
00:10:07,855 --> 00:10:09,524
would be if Bruce Willis was his dad?

258
00:10:10,835 --> 00:10:12,446
- Rumer.
- It's not a rumor.

259
00:10:12,471 --> 00:10:14,715
Yes, it is. I mean,
this is clearly revenge

260
00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:16,673
'cause you're so jealous of me and Mike.

261
00:10:16,698 --> 00:10:19,034
And that, my friend,
is what's not a rumor.

262
00:10:19,059 --> 00:10:20,771
No, that's a Tallulah and Scout.

263
00:10:20,796 --> 00:10:21,887
Bruce Willis's other kids.

264
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:24,068
Tandy, whatever is going on between us,

265
00:10:24,093 --> 00:10:25,184
this is bigger.

266
00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:27,173
Now, I saw it. It was blood.

267
00:10:27,198 --> 00:10:28,651
You need to tell the truth.

268
00:10:29,307 --> 00:10:29,931
Okay, okay.

269
00:10:29,956 --> 00:10:31,991
There might have been, uh, just a teeny,

270
00:10:32,016 --> 00:10:33,280
tiny little bit of blood.

271
00:10:33,305 --> 00:10:35,047
- (groans)
- But I've coughed up blood,

272
00:10:35,072 --> 00:10:36,119
like, a million times,

273
00:10:36,144 --> 00:10:38,371
and that doesn't mean that
I have the virus, right?

274
00:10:38,509 --> 00:10:39,650
He's fine.

275
00:10:39,675 --> 00:10:40,986
But does he have the rash?

276
00:10:41,011 --> 00:10:42,297
Not on his genitals.

277
00:10:42,322 --> 00:10:43,909
Sorry, Tandy. Just trying to help.

278
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,102
(Mike coughing)

279
00:10:45,336 --> 00:10:47,010
- Oh.
- Where are you going?

280
00:10:47,035 --> 00:10:48,170
Away from him.

281
00:10:48,407 --> 00:10:50,376
Why are you all panicking?

282
00:10:50,409 --> 00:10:52,077
We're immune, remember?

283
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:53,546
We're all safe.

284
00:10:54,206 --> 00:10:55,711
Not all of us.

285
00:10:56,649 --> 00:10:57,817
Oh, my God.

286
00:10:58,133 --> 00:10:59,618
What about our babies?

287
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,875
TODD: There is no
guarantee that those babies

288
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:03,285
will be immune to the virus.

289
00:11:03,310 --> 00:11:06,099
Yeah, Tandy. Do you want to
give the virus to the babies,

290
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,557
you dumb son of a bitch?

291
00:11:07,582 --> 00:11:09,060
Oh, Gail, have a drink!

292
00:11:09,093 --> 00:11:10,562
(throwing her voice):
I agree with Erica.

293
00:11:10,596 --> 00:11:12,063
Who said that? Todd?

294
00:11:12,705 --> 00:11:14,615
Thank you for seconding
Erica's statement.

295
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,504
I agree with Todd and Erica.

296
00:11:16,529 --> 00:11:19,666
Look, I am telling you, Mike is fine.

297
00:11:21,385 --> 00:11:22,491
I'm out of here.

298
00:11:23,901 --> 00:11:25,205
On your tail.

299
00:11:25,670 --> 00:11:27,162
- Wha...
- Wait for me.

300
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,656
Takes me a little longer
to get up these days.

301
00:11:29,744 --> 00:11:32,248
Already on the second
trimester of my first week.

302
00:11:32,466 --> 00:11:33,383
You're going, too?

303
00:11:33,408 --> 00:11:34,961
Sorry, Tandy, but I don't think

304
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:37,289
we can afford to take a chance here.

305
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,080
So we're just gonna leave him, huh?

306
00:11:43,105 --> 00:11:45,342
We're just gonna let
him wake up all alone

307
00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:47,633
and try to piece together
what the hell happened?

308
00:11:47,812 --> 00:11:50,101
We can't be stupid about this.

309
00:11:50,135 --> 00:11:51,358
Well, maybe there's a way to be

310
00:11:51,383 --> 00:11:53,919
smart and stupid at the same time.

311
00:11:54,426 --> 00:11:58,010
(coughing)

312
00:12:18,319 --> 00:12:19,532
Sup, dawg?

313
00:12:19,757 --> 00:12:20,757
Don't be alarmed.

314
00:12:22,304 --> 00:12:23,884
Why on earth would I be alarmed?

315
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,304
(chuckles) That's the spirit.

316
00:12:25,336 --> 00:12:26,840
Hey, why don't you come
on into the living room

317
00:12:26,865 --> 00:12:28,368
and have a seat, huh?

318
00:12:36,026 --> 00:12:38,195
ERICA: Oh, Jenga!

319
00:12:38,259 --> 00:12:39,319
(Tandy clears throat)

320
00:12:41,012 --> 00:12:42,590
Look who I found, huh?

321
00:12:43,309 --> 00:12:45,332
What do you say we go
join the group, huh?

322
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,359
Right this way.

323
00:12:48,423 --> 00:12:50,117
Don't be shy.

324
00:12:50,142 --> 00:12:51,946
If you guys could make a little room.

325
00:12:52,185 --> 00:12:54,813
Nice of Melissa to clear
you a little spot there.

326
00:12:57,164 --> 00:12:58,269
Hey, Mike.

327
00:12:59,281 --> 00:13:00,711
Hi.

328
00:13:01,182 --> 00:13:02,707
So how was your little nappy-poo?

329
00:13:05,683 --> 00:13:07,151
Do I have the virus?

330
00:13:07,255 --> 00:13:08,756
Well, I mean, you know...

331
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,683
Maybe.

332
00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:11,917
Okay, yeah.

333
00:13:11,950 --> 00:13:13,014
Look, l-look.

334
00:13:13,039 --> 00:13:14,841
These guys think that
there's, uh, you know,

335
00:13:14,866 --> 00:13:17,589
just a-a small possibility
that you might just have,

336
00:13:17,614 --> 00:13:19,785
like, a-a teeny-tiny
touch of the virus.

337
00:13:19,810 --> 00:13:21,770
- Just-just a smidgen, really.
- Okay. Okay, okay.

338
00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:24,463
I mean, we're not worried.

339
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:25,805
I mean, not one bit.

340
00:13:27,096 --> 00:13:28,977
Yeah, you guys reek of confidence.

341
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,989
So I assume that thing's for me, huh?

342
00:13:34,776 --> 00:13:38,013
Hey, look, we're doing this
'cause we care about you.

343
00:13:38,783 --> 00:13:41,112
We just have to be careful, you know?

344
00:13:41,356 --> 00:13:43,323
So why don't you just pop in there,

345
00:13:43,348 --> 00:13:44,925
ride out this cold,

346
00:13:45,289 --> 00:13:48,525
and one day, we'll all
laugh at this like hyenas.

347
00:13:48,754 --> 00:13:50,390
(chuckles)

348
00:13:51,806 --> 00:13:53,195
Where do I go to the bathroom?

349
00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:55,327
Oh, don't worry. We got
that all taken care of.

350
00:13:55,494 --> 00:13:57,017
(quietly): Todd, go get me a bucket.

351
00:13:57,736 --> 00:14:00,064
This is gonna be great, bud.

352
00:14:00,097 --> 00:14:02,042
Yeah, we're just gonna
have a nice normal night.

353
00:14:02,253 --> 00:14:03,253
And who knows?

354
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,910
Maybe you'll even have a
little fun along the way.

355
00:14:06,716 --> 00:14:08,116
- TODD: <i>Miley Cyrus!</i>
- MELISSA:<i> Yes!</i>

356
00:14:08,234 --> 00:14:10,895
Uh, okay, this guy's
dead from the virus.

357
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,483
- Lead singer of U2.
- Uh, Bono!

358
00:14:12,508 --> 00:14:14,100
Yes! Okay.

359
00:14:14,125 --> 00:14:16,522
Um, this guy's regular dead.

360
00:14:16,547 --> 00:14:18,346
Uh, "Frankly, Scarlett,
I don't give a damn."

361
00:14:18,371 --> 00:14:19,408
- Uh, Clark Gable!
- Yes.

362
00:14:19,433 --> 00:14:21,406
- Five seconds!
- Okay, okay, okay, um...

363
00:14:21,431 --> 00:14:22,874
dead New England Patriots quarterback,

364
00:14:22,899 --> 00:14:24,867
married to the dead
model, both from the virus.

365
00:14:24,892 --> 00:14:25,876
- Tom Brady!
- Yes!

366
00:14:25,901 --> 00:14:27,670
- TANDY: Time!
- Yes!

367
00:14:27,905 --> 00:14:31,296
Guys, do we have to say that the
person's dead every single time?

368
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,192
You know, it just seems
like a major buzz kill.

369
00:14:33,217 --> 00:14:34,577
Well, an even bigger buzz kill

370
00:14:34,602 --> 00:14:37,110
is losing the game
due to lack of clarity.

371
00:14:37,496 --> 00:14:38,336
You want to go, Mike?

372
00:14:38,370 --> 00:14:39,453
Uh, no, no, I'm fine.

373
00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:41,348
Aw, come on, Chef Miyagi.

374
00:14:41,373 --> 00:14:43,275
Come on, come on. Mike, Mike...

375
00:14:43,308 --> 00:14:44,783
ALL (chanting): Mike, Mike, Mike...

376
00:14:44,808 --> 00:14:46,811
O... Okay, okay, okay, all right.

377
00:14:46,836 --> 00:14:48,154
- Ready, go.
- Okay.

378
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:49,781
Um, I'm not sure how
to describe this person.

379
00:14:49,814 --> 00:14:51,616
- Enrique Iglesias!
- No.

380
00:14:51,796 --> 00:14:52,554
Julio Iglesias!

381
00:14:52,579 --> 00:14:54,254
Let him get a clue out.

382
00:14:54,279 --> 00:14:55,554
I got a method!

383
00:14:55,586 --> 00:14:57,056
Uh, just pass. Pass on this one. Pass.

384
00:14:57,088 --> 00:14:58,457
(coughs)

385
00:14:58,490 --> 00:15:00,625
Okay, uh, this person
was on<i> Seinfeld.</i>

386
00:15:00,719 --> 00:15:01,649
Seinfeld!

387
00:15:01,674 --> 00:15:03,523
- No, close.
- Glenn Close!

388
00:15:03,616 --> 00:15:05,756
No, I-I don't know if
you're gonna get this one.

389
00:15:05,781 --> 00:15:06,907
It just says, um,

390
00:15:07,429 --> 00:15:09,142
"The dead guy who played Newman."

391
00:15:09,382 --> 00:15:10,647
I don't know, um...

392
00:15:10,672 --> 00:15:12,788
Hey, can we maybe do
something else, maybe? Just...

393
00:15:13,006 --> 00:15:14,373
What's wrong, Mike?

394
00:15:15,319 --> 00:15:17,374
It's just a little
weird, you know, just...

395
00:15:18,304 --> 00:15:19,304
The suits.

396
00:15:19,475 --> 00:15:20,600
It's the friggin' suits. I knew it.

397
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,181
Well, you know what? This...

398
00:15:22,438 --> 00:15:23,455
Tandy, no!

399
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,080
No. Look, it's fine, okay?

400
00:15:26,268 --> 00:15:27,268
He has a cold.

401
00:15:27,682 --> 00:15:28,886
That's it.

402
00:15:29,104 --> 00:15:30,104
Now, look at this.

403
00:15:30,336 --> 00:15:34,340
I'm taking my friggin' suit off,
and the world is still turning.

404
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,028
All right?

405
00:15:36,537 --> 00:15:37,863
So what do you say?

406
00:15:38,667 --> 00:15:40,248
Does anybody else want to join me?

407
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:48,724
So this is actually a pretty typical

408
00:15:48,749 --> 00:15:49,901
second date for me, you know.

409
00:15:49,926 --> 00:15:51,253
- (chuckles)
- Yeah.

410
00:15:51,278 --> 00:15:53,326
You know, first date, always hibachi,

411
00:15:53,351 --> 00:15:56,069
and then the second date,
I like to invite a lady

412
00:15:56,094 --> 00:15:58,452
back to my quarantine
bubble, and, you know...

413
00:15:58,523 --> 00:16:00,100
Mm. (chuckles)

414
00:16:00,366 --> 00:16:02,559
Yeah, you're a real
smooth operator, Mike.

415
00:16:02,584 --> 00:16:03,629
(both laugh)

416
00:16:03,654 --> 00:16:05,990
(coughs)

417
00:16:09,232 --> 00:16:10,295
(sniffles)

418
00:16:10,507 --> 00:16:11,562
(clears throat)

419
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:15,517
Sorry my sickness is,
uh, you know, scaring you.

420
00:16:16,102 --> 00:16:17,369
I'm not worried.

421
00:16:17,704 --> 00:16:20,272
Yeah, I think I'm coming
around to Tandy's theory.

422
00:16:20,595 --> 00:16:21,820
It's just a cold.

423
00:16:26,693 --> 00:16:28,246
Would it be okay if I, uh...

424
00:16:29,604 --> 00:16:30,821
It would.

425
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:40,292
Hang on, let's... let's do this right.

426
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,599
(chuckles)

427
00:16:51,651 --> 00:16:52,738
TANDY: Ooh!

428
00:16:52,770 --> 00:16:54,305
(all oohing)

429
00:16:54,338 --> 00:16:56,223
(whooping)

430
00:16:56,248 --> 00:16:57,384
Oh, my God, you guys, hurry!

431
00:16:57,409 --> 00:16:58,533
Come quick!

432
00:17:09,254 --> 00:17:11,155
Oh, farts.

433
00:17:14,446 --> 00:17:16,487
Oh, you poor little thing.

434
00:17:17,208 --> 00:17:19,678
Your mama's gone, but you still got us.

435
00:17:20,323 --> 00:17:21,730
Has Mike been around this cow?

436
00:17:21,901 --> 00:17:23,248
He was milking it today.

437
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:24,916
He has to go, now.

438
00:17:24,941 --> 00:17:27,626
There's no way the virus
could take down a cow

439
00:17:27,651 --> 00:17:28,892
in, like, six hours.

440
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,512
Then how else do you explain it?

441
00:17:30,537 --> 00:17:31,700
Uh, you know, uh, uh...

442
00:17:31,725 --> 00:17:32,809
It could have been old age.

443
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:34,235
Uh, the cow could have had, like,

444
00:17:34,260 --> 00:17:36,123
some congenital hoof disorder.

445
00:17:36,148 --> 00:17:38,130
Uh, hell, could have
been this little guy!

446
00:17:38,155 --> 00:17:40,867
I mean, look at him
and those demon eyes.

447
00:17:41,182 --> 00:17:42,534
No, Tandy.

448
00:17:43,041 --> 00:17:44,811
That cow survived the
virus just like us,

449
00:17:44,836 --> 00:17:46,038
and now look at her.

450
00:17:46,172 --> 00:17:47,433
I'm with Melissa.

451
00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:48,793
Three strikes, you're out.

452
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:49,818
Let's do this.

453
00:17:49,974 --> 00:17:52,021
But you... oh, wait!

454
00:17:52,046 --> 00:17:53,802
You forgot your friggin' pitchforks

455
00:17:53,827 --> 00:17:55,507
and your torches!

456
00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:57,704
Hey, whoa! Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa! What's going on?!

457
00:17:57,729 --> 00:17:59,604
I'm sorry, bud. We're
moving you, all right?

458
00:17:59,629 --> 00:18:01,220
- What? What? Why? What happened?!
- We got him.

459
00:18:01,252 --> 00:18:02,813
- Get out of here!
- Come on, guys...

460
00:18:02,946 --> 00:18:05,090
Get away from him! What are you doing?!

461
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:08,413
If you move him, you're
gonna have to move me, too.

462
00:18:08,438 --> 00:18:10,098
Great. Todd, move Tandy.

463
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:10,998
Todd!

464
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:12,764
I friggin' love you, man.

465
00:18:12,873 --> 00:18:16,903
But if you take one more step,
I will friggin' rip you apart.

466
00:18:17,873 --> 00:18:20,103
Phil, if they want me
to go, I'll just go.

467
00:18:20,128 --> 00:18:22,909
No! Mike, you're staying right here.

468
00:18:24,276 --> 00:18:25,885
This is my brother.

469
00:18:26,936 --> 00:18:29,422
Okay? My own flesh and blood.

470
00:18:30,155 --> 00:18:31,618
Until two weeks ago,

471
00:18:31,987 --> 00:18:34,286
I thought I had lost him forever.

472
00:18:35,401 --> 00:18:36,623
What are the chances?

473
00:18:36,656 --> 00:18:40,259
The entire world dies...
there's seven of us...

474
00:18:40,401 --> 00:18:42,221
and my brother shows up.

475
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,631
That is not a coincidence.

476
00:18:48,203 --> 00:18:50,669
I said good-bye to him once.

477
00:18:50,937 --> 00:18:53,009
I am not gonna do it again.

478
00:18:54,735 --> 00:18:58,243
He has a friggin' cold.

479
00:18:58,277 --> 00:18:59,679
(coughing)

480
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,995
Come on, we got to find
a house for the night.

481
00:19:15,596 --> 00:19:17,629
You mind if I stay with Mike tonight?

482
00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:20,244
- All right?
- Okay, it's fine.

483
00:19:20,519 --> 00:19:22,030
Just be careful.

484
00:19:22,606 --> 00:19:24,642
You're the best. You're the best.

485
00:19:28,321 --> 00:19:29,477
CAROL: Okay, Mike.

486
00:19:29,876 --> 00:19:30,608
Good night.

487
00:19:30,633 --> 00:19:31,707
Night.

488
00:19:35,403 --> 00:19:37,141
Phil, come on.

489
00:19:37,166 --> 00:19:38,550
Maybe I should just go
away for a while, all right?

490
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:41,114
It's a cold, Mike.

491
00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:43,690
It's a cold.

492
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:45,583
Yeah.

493
00:19:46,044 --> 00:19:47,701
All right, you want to get some sleep?

494
00:19:48,638 --> 00:19:49,638
Sure.

495
00:19:55,254 --> 00:19:57,070
What do you think, 69 or 11?

496
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,205
Why don't we start with
11 and go from there.

497
00:20:00,941 --> 00:20:02,241
Sure.

498
00:20:02,603 --> 00:20:03,767
(sniffles)

499
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:06,121
(sighs)

500
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:15,055
You want to do one for old time's sake?

501
00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:18,759
(coughs)

502
00:20:20,689 --> 00:20:24,046
♪ I don't know you ♪

503
00:20:24,071 --> 00:20:27,343
BOTH: ♪ But I want you ♪

504
00:20:27,368 --> 00:20:31,002
♪ All the more for that ♪

505
00:20:31,035 --> 00:20:33,336
(coughs)

506
00:20:33,361 --> 00:20:36,865
♪ Words fall through me ♪

507
00:20:36,890 --> 00:20:40,249
♪ Always fool me ♪

508
00:20:40,274 --> 00:20:44,696
♪ And I can't react... ♪

509
00:20:45,656 --> 00:20:46,657
(coughs)

510
00:21:08,381 --> 00:21:10,016
"So long, Phil.

511
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:12,480
Didn't want you to have
to say good-bye again."

512
00:21:16,549 --> 00:21:21,549
Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -

