1
00:00:00,023 --> 00:00:02,131
Previously on The Last Man on Earth...
2
00:00:02,156 --> 00:00:03,984
Let's have Todd put my baby in you.
3
00:00:04,461 --> 00:00:06,229
No friggin' way.
4
00:00:06,263 --> 00:00:09,087
Mike Shelby Miller,
will you be our sperm?
5
00:00:09,347 --> 00:00:10,500
I-I'd be honored.
6
00:00:10,979 --> 00:00:12,336
Friggin' ridiculous.
7
00:00:12,369 --> 00:00:14,053
(laughs) I'm pregnant!
8
00:00:14,078 --> 00:00:15,345
(squeals, laughs)
9
00:00:15,379 --> 00:00:16,413
Oh!
10
00:00:18,449 --> 00:00:19,918
(buzzing quietly)
11
00:00:24,216 --> 00:00:25,942
I still can't believe I'm not sterile.
12
00:00:25,967 --> 00:00:27,176
(both chuckle)
13
00:00:27,374 --> 00:00:29,777
You didn't masturbate
too much, after all.
14
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,299
Yeah, it was just the right amount.
15
00:00:31,502 --> 00:00:32,245
Thank you.
16
00:00:32,270 --> 00:00:35,240
I am so proud of your sperm.
17
00:00:35,490 --> 00:00:36,758
I am, too.
18
00:00:37,312 --> 00:00:38,796
Guys, guys.
19
00:00:39,024 --> 00:00:41,032
Gail, Carol is pregnant.
20
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,190
Yeah? Okay, good.
Whatever. Good for you.
21
00:00:43,215 --> 00:00:45,017
You're not gonna believe the crazy thing
22
00:00:45,042 --> 00:00:46,256
I just saw out there.
23
00:00:46,371 --> 00:00:48,106
It was a flying record player!
24
00:00:48,670 --> 00:00:51,268
It just came out of the
sky, came right at me!
25
00:00:51,293 --> 00:00:52,638
It was like... (yells)
26
00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:54,782
Like when you go to, um,
27
00:00:54,807 --> 00:00:56,785
you know, Waffle House. It was like...
28
00:00:57,168 --> 00:00:58,970
it was flying skillets.
29
00:00:59,043 --> 00:01:00,544
It was, uh, no. It was like...
30
00:01:00,765 --> 00:01:03,352
two hovering griddles.
31
00:01:03,452 --> 00:01:06,063
Gail, honey, how much have
you had to drink today?
32
00:01:06,088 --> 00:01:07,311
A lady never tells.
33
00:01:07,341 --> 00:01:08,732
Gail, I think everybody's just saying
34
00:01:08,757 --> 00:01:10,472
that sometimes you drink a little bit.
35
00:01:10,534 --> 00:01:11,534
A lot a bit.
36
00:01:11,670 --> 00:01:14,215
Well, maybe you're just a little
confused about what you saw.
37
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,620
I know exactly what I saw out there!
38
00:01:15,645 --> 00:01:19,301
There was a whole mess of-of
floating hair dryers,
39
00:01:19,326 --> 00:01:21,327
and they were staring right at me!
40
00:01:23,552 --> 00:01:25,770
(slurring): Do y'all really
think I "mrink" too much?
41
00:01:26,282 --> 00:01:27,365
Well, I think you might have answered
42
00:01:27,390 --> 00:01:28,559
your own question there.
43
00:01:34,975 --> 00:01:36,669
Oh, farts.
44
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:48,000
Resync by Rapunzel
- Thanks to Octavia@addic7ed.com -
45
00:01:49,285 --> 00:01:51,287
TANDY: Mmm.
46
00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:52,520
(laughs)
47
00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:55,182
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
48
00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:57,588
Mmm.
49
00:01:58,393 --> 00:02:00,926
TODD: What the hell's going on in here?
50
00:02:04,102 --> 00:02:05,277
Nothing.
51
00:02:06,812 --> 00:02:07,968
Really?
52
00:02:09,823 --> 00:02:13,494
'Cause it doesn't smell like nothing.
53
00:02:15,299 --> 00:02:16,632
Mike farted.
54
00:02:16,754 --> 00:02:17,593
Yeah.
55
00:02:17,618 --> 00:02:18,954
Yeah, I-I farted.
56
00:02:19,153 --> 00:02:21,223
(laughs) Oh.
57
00:02:24,224 --> 00:02:25,926
That's funny.
58
00:02:26,009 --> 00:02:31,169
'Cause your farts smell
like freshly cooked bacon.
59
00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:34,450
Thank you.
60
00:02:35,763 --> 00:02:37,108
TANDY: Todd, we're adults here,
61
00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:39,255
and I'm gonna be honest
with you about this.
62
00:02:39,563 --> 00:02:41,291
Mike and I just finished off the bacon.
63
00:02:42,893 --> 00:02:45,084
Uh, but I-I did fart.
64
00:02:47,579 --> 00:02:48,832
You guys finished the bacon.
65
00:02:48,865 --> 00:02:50,467
MIKE: Mm-hmm.
66
00:02:50,499 --> 00:02:51,961
That's cool.
67
00:02:52,021 --> 00:02:54,091
Thank you, Todd.
68
00:02:56,563 --> 00:02:58,219
You want, uh, any cracklins, braheem?
69
00:02:58,244 --> 00:03:02,816
(shouting): No, I don't want
any friggin' cracklins, braheem!
70
00:03:04,787 --> 00:03:08,951
You know, I was wondering
if it ever crossed your mind
71
00:03:08,985 --> 00:03:11,568
to consult with me first.
72
00:03:11,593 --> 00:03:14,095
You know, I'm guessing it didn't, Tandy.
73
00:03:14,267 --> 00:03:16,460
Did it? (chuckles softly)
74
00:03:16,867 --> 00:03:17,868
Did it?!
75
00:03:19,809 --> 00:03:23,272
I found this bacon.
76
00:03:24,928 --> 00:03:26,402
- We ran this by the group...
- Yeah.
77
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,004
And everyone agreed
78
00:03:28,296 --> 00:03:30,066
that Mike should get
to finish off the bacon,
79
00:03:30,091 --> 00:03:31,693
'cause he hasn't had any yet.
80
00:03:31,718 --> 00:03:33,119
Everyone?
81
00:03:33,390 --> 00:03:34,983
That's funny, 'cause
last time I checked,
82
00:03:35,008 --> 00:03:37,945
I was part and parcel of "everyone."
83
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,049
We looked for you everywhere,
84
00:03:40,082 --> 00:03:41,677
and we couldn't find you, bud.
85
00:03:41,702 --> 00:03:43,785
Well, you didn't look hard enough, bud.
86
00:03:52,206 --> 00:03:53,875
So where are you from in Australia?
87
00:03:53,962 --> 00:03:55,723
- All over. Yeah.
- Oh, yeah? Yeah?
88
00:03:55,748 --> 00:03:56,596
I've actually, um,
89
00:03:56,621 --> 00:03:58,171
- I've been to Adelaide. Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.
90
00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,557
I actually spent a bit
of time in Adelaide.
91
00:04:00,582 --> 00:04:03,021
Oh, well, then, yeah, you know.
Wh-What were you doing there?
92
00:04:03,857 --> 00:04:05,175
Okay, um...
93
00:04:05,414 --> 00:04:06,342
(chuckles)
94
00:04:06,367 --> 00:04:11,213
I should say that I did
a bit of time in Adelaide.
95
00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:13,804
- I was in jail.
- Oh.
96
00:04:14,915 --> 00:04:15,919
Wow.
97
00:04:15,952 --> 00:04:19,851
I somehow got arrested,
uh, for leaving a bank
98
00:04:19,876 --> 00:04:21,478
with some money that wasn't mine.
99
00:04:21,503 --> 00:04:22,569
- Uh-huh. -
And then a man
100
00:04:22,594 --> 00:04:25,130
in a uniform found a gun on me
101
00:04:25,222 --> 00:04:27,291
that turned out to be mine.
102
00:04:27,316 --> 00:04:29,518
So you're talking about armed robbery.
103
00:04:29,543 --> 00:04:31,875
Oh, more like an armed misunderstanding.
104
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:33,402
And how did that go over in court?
105
00:04:33,436 --> 00:04:36,512
Well, as I said, I did a bit
of time in Adelaide. (laughs)
106
00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:38,136
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm,
yeah. (laughs)
107
00:04:38,161 --> 00:04:39,205
- Yeah.
- So, well,
108
00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:40,893
then how'd you end up, you
know, here in the States?
109
00:04:41,010 --> 00:04:42,721
Oh, I got a job at the State Department.
110
00:04:42,885 --> 00:04:44,541
They hired you with a criminal record?
111
00:04:44,566 --> 00:04:45,721
They didn't hire me.
112
00:04:45,746 --> 00:04:48,086
(American accent): They
hired Amanda Williams
113
00:04:48,111 --> 00:04:49,822
from Cleveland, Ohio.
114
00:04:49,847 --> 00:04:51,552
Majored in political science
115
00:04:51,577 --> 00:04:53,788
at the Ohio State University.
116
00:04:53,789 --> 00:04:55,190
Go Pi Phi!
117
00:04:55,258 --> 00:04:56,064
Go! Whoo!
118
00:04:56,089 --> 00:04:57,572
That's amaz... you know, you're like
119
00:04:57,574 --> 00:04:59,997
- the most interesting person alive.
- Nah.
120
00:05:00,022 --> 00:05:01,490
Yeah, does everybody
else know about this?
121
00:05:01,514 --> 00:05:02,363
Hell no.
122
00:05:02,364 --> 00:05:03,733
What are you talk... why not?
123
00:05:03,939 --> 00:05:05,416
They've never asked me.
124
00:05:05,541 --> 00:05:07,269
It's like they just latched
onto the Australia thing
125
00:05:07,294 --> 00:05:08,630
and stopped right there.
126
00:05:08,655 --> 00:05:11,082
(Australian accent): Cheers,
Erica! Dingoes ate my baby!
127
00:05:11,107 --> 00:05:12,108
Didgeridoo!
128
00:05:12,409 --> 00:05:13,038
(normal voice): What's up, Mike?
129
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,443
Hey, Phil. G'day.
130
00:05:14,476 --> 00:05:15,611
Yep.
131
00:05:19,675 --> 00:05:20,996
Hey, bud.
132
00:05:21,699 --> 00:05:23,191
Thinking about going out
133
00:05:23,216 --> 00:05:25,277
and burning down the Santa Monica Pier.
134
00:05:25,472 --> 00:05:26,472
You want to come with?
135
00:05:26,777 --> 00:05:29,043
Yeah, what, was your bacon brother busy?
136
00:05:29,192 --> 00:05:30,594
(sighs)
137
00:05:30,777 --> 00:05:32,195
Come on, T.
138
00:05:32,495 --> 00:05:34,248
You're my original bacon brother.
139
00:05:34,273 --> 00:05:35,941
I'm talking OBB.
140
00:05:35,966 --> 00:05:38,803
And you want to hazard a guess
as to who's down with OBB?
141
00:05:39,369 --> 00:05:40,372
Huh?
142
00:05:41,737 --> 00:05:43,138
Every last Tandy.
143
00:05:43,171 --> 00:05:43,933
Oh, come on.
144
00:05:43,958 --> 00:05:45,422
Tandy, ever since Mike showed up,
145
00:05:45,447 --> 00:05:46,861
you don't have time for me anymore.
146
00:05:46,886 --> 00:05:48,161
Oh, don't you dare.
147
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,958
Uh, every time I try
to hang out with you,
148
00:05:50,022 --> 00:05:51,955
you're always either
with Gail or Melissa.
149
00:05:51,980 --> 00:05:53,867
- That is not true!
- Oh, yes, it is.
150
00:05:53,892 --> 00:05:55,655
You're just like one of
those guys who as soon
151
00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,120
as they get two girlfriends,
they just disappear.
152
00:05:58,145 --> 00:05:58,931
No, you know what?
153
00:05:58,956 --> 00:06:00,505
I'm your backup plan.
154
00:06:00,645 --> 00:06:01,769
Your number two.
155
00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,651
And it's totally appropriate, Tandy,
156
00:06:03,676 --> 00:06:05,921
because that's exactly
how you make me feel.
157
00:06:06,475 --> 00:06:08,798
Like a big old number two.
158
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,900
And you know where you
dropped that stinky?
159
00:06:11,561 --> 00:06:12,837
Right here.
160
00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:16,005
On my heart.
161
00:06:21,151 --> 00:06:24,221
Yes, yes. Here we are. Okay.
162
00:06:25,027 --> 00:06:27,464
You still waiting on
your date there, ma'am?
163
00:06:27,530 --> 00:06:29,440
Oh, I lied about that
to keep the creeps away.
164
00:06:29,518 --> 00:06:30,498
Really?
165
00:06:30,536 --> 00:06:31,762
Would you mind if I joined you, then?
166
00:06:31,787 --> 00:06:33,054
I don't know. Are you a creep?
167
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,570
Yeah, I think so.
168
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:36,878
(laughs): Well, in that case, sit down.
169
00:06:36,903 --> 00:06:39,359
All right, let that be there.
170
00:06:39,409 --> 00:06:40,363
Yeah.
171
00:06:40,388 --> 00:06:42,369
Although, I feel like I should tell you,
172
00:06:42,394 --> 00:06:44,063
I am carrying another man's baby.
173
00:06:44,347 --> 00:06:45,749
You are? Wow.
174
00:06:45,814 --> 00:06:47,215
Well, that's complicated.
175
00:06:47,248 --> 00:06:47,953
On the plus side,
176
00:06:47,978 --> 00:06:50,547
I am the only single
woman left on the planet.
177
00:06:50,571 --> 00:06:52,640
Ah. Okay. See, I can work with that.
178
00:06:52,665 --> 00:06:53,415
That's nice, yeah.
179
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:54,880
Well, I guess, if we're
being honest with each other,
180
00:06:54,905 --> 00:06:56,894
I should let you know
that I'm, uh, married.
181
00:06:56,919 --> 00:06:58,753
- Chef Miyagi!
- Mm-hmm.
182
00:06:58,778 --> 00:07:00,563
Yeah, but it's okay. I'm
getting a divorce soon.
183
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,583
Yeah, my brother's actually
sleeping with my wife.
184
00:07:02,617 --> 00:07:04,052
(laughs)
185
00:07:11,517 --> 00:07:13,787
(groans) Water.
186
00:07:14,027 --> 00:07:15,629
It burns my throat.
187
00:07:15,863 --> 00:07:17,431
I just don't like it.
188
00:07:17,465 --> 00:07:18,838
You'll get used to it.
189
00:07:18,869 --> 00:07:20,782
Maybe I'll try putting an olive in it.
190
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,603
Transition into it, you know?
191
00:07:22,636 --> 00:07:24,447
(groans) Hello.
192
00:07:24,472 --> 00:07:26,916
Oh, Geez of Nazareth!
193
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:28,663
Man, you got to stop
194
00:07:28,688 --> 00:07:31,191
coming up on me like that, Carol.
195
00:07:31,272 --> 00:07:33,881
I'm gonna start making people
wear bells around their necks.
196
00:07:34,732 --> 00:07:37,285
Uh, Gail's trying to stop
drinking, so she's a little...
197
00:07:37,364 --> 00:07:39,721
well, you saw her.
198
00:07:40,161 --> 00:07:41,890
Well, good for you, Gail.
199
00:07:41,922 --> 00:07:44,625
And as a show of solidarity,
I'm gonna join you.
200
00:07:44,739 --> 00:07:46,260
I can't drink, anyway.
201
00:07:46,426 --> 00:07:48,133
Baby on board. Beep, beep!
202
00:07:48,158 --> 00:07:49,259
Out of my way!
203
00:07:49,330 --> 00:07:51,166
(laughs) Yeah.
204
00:07:51,198 --> 00:07:52,758
Not drinking for two now.
205
00:07:52,783 --> 00:07:54,402
Well, good luck with that.
206
00:07:54,434 --> 00:07:56,170
Looks like I'm drinking for four now.
207
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,890
Hey, this is actually pretty easy.
208
00:08:07,915 --> 00:08:10,484
Yeah, that motion seems to
come to you pretty naturally.
209
00:08:10,518 --> 00:08:11,785
(laughs)
210
00:08:11,819 --> 00:08:13,287
(coughing)
211
00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:14,748
Doing okay?
212
00:08:14,773 --> 00:08:15,801
Yeah, yeah. No, I'm fine.
213
00:08:15,826 --> 00:08:17,234
Just a little tuckered out, is all.
214
00:08:17,259 --> 00:08:18,220
You're a little tuckered out?
215
00:08:18,245 --> 00:08:20,165
That's funny, I thought
your name was Mike. Boom.
216
00:08:20,385 --> 00:08:21,127
Solid.
217
00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:22,388
(chuckles): I know.
218
00:08:22,713 --> 00:08:23,721
Hey, bud.
219
00:08:24,690 --> 00:08:25,597
I just want to thank you
220
00:08:25,622 --> 00:08:27,377
for having sex with Carol and stuff.
221
00:08:27,402 --> 00:08:28,936
It-it meant a lot to me.
222
00:08:29,094 --> 00:08:31,047
To be honest with you, I'm
really excited to be an uncle.
223
00:08:31,072 --> 00:08:33,042
Well, you're gonna be a godfather, too.
224
00:08:33,293 --> 00:08:35,773
Well, I guess that's better than
being a godfather three. Boom.
225
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:36,610
Solid.
226
00:08:36,836 --> 00:08:38,109
I know. (chuckles)
227
00:08:38,281 --> 00:08:39,514
So what do you say?
228
00:08:39,697 --> 00:08:41,815
You want to be our godfather?
229
00:08:42,018 --> 00:08:43,951
(imitating Vito Corleone):
It's an offer I can't refuse.
230
00:08:43,985 --> 00:08:45,798
I don't underst... why
are you talking like that?
231
00:08:45,823 --> 00:08:47,054
TODD: Well, well, well.
232
00:08:47,969 --> 00:08:49,818
Oh, hey, bud. How hangs it?
233
00:08:49,843 --> 00:08:51,539
I was just coming by to get some milk,
234
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,995
but you guys probably already
dried her out, didn't you?
235
00:08:54,331 --> 00:08:55,963
Oh, come on, Toddler.
236
00:08:55,996 --> 00:08:57,464
I'm not a toddler.
237
00:08:57,643 --> 00:08:58,665
I'm a man.
238
00:08:58,698 --> 00:09:00,378
- Hey, Mike is my brother,
- (coughing)
239
00:09:00,403 --> 00:09:02,068
and I'm going to spend time with him,
240
00:09:02,093 --> 00:09:04,053
and I will not apologize for that.
241
00:09:04,078 --> 00:09:05,204
I'm sorry.
242
00:09:05,229 --> 00:09:07,374
Oh, yeah, make me seem
like the crazy one, huh?
243
00:09:07,408 --> 00:09:09,036
- (coughing)
- "Todd's upset at Tandy
244
00:09:09,061 --> 00:09:10,629
for hanging out with his brother."
245
00:09:10,654 --> 00:09:12,012
Huh? Is that how you're gonna spin this?
246
00:09:12,045 --> 00:09:13,340
- I'm not spinning it.
- (coughing continues)
247
00:09:13,365 --> 00:09:15,790
If anything, I'm keeping
it firmly in place!
248
00:09:15,815 --> 00:09:18,377
Okay, you know what? It's
time to face facts, Tandy.
249
00:09:18,402 --> 00:09:20,447
Here's the thing, ever
since he showed up,
250
00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:22,208
you don't have any time...
251
00:09:23,775 --> 00:09:25,144
Good God.
252
00:09:35,588 --> 00:09:38,349
It's just a cold, okay? Or allergies.
253
00:09:38,374 --> 00:09:40,409
But Todd said he coughed up blood!
254
00:09:40,442 --> 00:09:42,448
You know what? Uh, Todd's
just spreading rumors.
255
00:09:42,473 --> 00:09:43,450
Yeah, that's right.
256
00:09:43,475 --> 00:09:45,872
You know where he
works? At the rumor mill.
257
00:09:46,129 --> 00:09:47,580
Yeah, and, uh, you know what his name
258
00:09:47,605 --> 00:09:49,274
would be if Bruce Willis was his dad?
259
00:09:50,585 --> 00:09:52,196
- Rumer.
- It's not a rumor.
260
00:09:52,221 --> 00:09:54,465
Yes, it is. I mean,
this is clearly revenge
261
00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:56,423
'cause you're so jealous of me and Mike.
262
00:09:56,448 --> 00:09:58,784
And that, my friend,
is what's not a rumor.
263
00:09:58,809 --> 00:10:00,521
No, that's a Tallulah and Scout.
264
00:10:00,546 --> 00:10:01,637
Bruce Willis's other kids.
265
00:10:01,662 --> 00:10:03,818
Tandy, whatever is going on between us,
266
00:10:03,843 --> 00:10:04,934
this is bigger.
267
00:10:04,959 --> 00:10:06,923
Now, I saw it. It was blood.
268
00:10:06,948 --> 00:10:08,401
You need to tell the truth.
269
00:10:09,057 --> 00:10:09,681
Okay, okay.
270
00:10:09,706 --> 00:10:11,741
There might have been, uh, just a teeny,
271
00:10:11,766 --> 00:10:13,030
tiny little bit of blood.
272
00:10:13,055 --> 00:10:14,797
- (groans)
- But I've coughed up blood,
273
00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:15,869
like, a million times,
274
00:10:15,894 --> 00:10:18,121
and that doesn't mean that
I have the virus, right?
275
00:10:18,259 --> 00:10:19,400
He's fine.
276
00:10:19,425 --> 00:10:20,736
But does he have the rash?
277
00:10:20,761 --> 00:10:22,047
Not on his genitals.
278
00:10:22,072 --> 00:10:23,659
Sorry, Tandy. Just trying to help.
279
00:10:23,684 --> 00:10:24,852
(Mike coughing)
280
00:10:25,086 --> 00:10:26,760
- Oh.
- Where are you going?
281
00:10:26,785 --> 00:10:27,920
Away from him.
282
00:10:28,157 --> 00:10:30,126
Why are you all panicking?
283
00:10:30,159 --> 00:10:31,827
We're immune, remember?
284
00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:33,296
We're all safe.
285
00:10:33,956 --> 00:10:35,461
Not all of us.
286
00:10:36,399 --> 00:10:37,567
Oh, my God.
287
00:10:37,883 --> 00:10:39,368
What about our babies?
288
00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:41,625
TODD: There is no
guarantee that those babies
289
00:10:41,650 --> 00:10:43,035
will be immune to the virus.
290
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:45,849
Yeah, Tandy. Do you want to
give the virus to the babies,
291
00:10:45,874 --> 00:10:47,307
you dumb son of a bitch?
292
00:10:47,332 --> 00:10:48,810
Oh, Gail, have a drink!
293
00:10:48,843 --> 00:10:50,312
(throwing her voice):
I agree with Erica.
294
00:10:50,346 --> 00:10:51,813
Who said that? Todd?
295
00:10:52,455 --> 00:10:54,365
Thank you for seconding
Erica's statement.
296
00:10:54,390 --> 00:10:56,254
I agree with Todd and Erica.
297
00:10:56,279 --> 00:10:59,416
Look, I am telling you, Mike is fine.
298
00:11:01,135 --> 00:11:02,241
I'm out of here.
299
00:11:03,651 --> 00:11:04,955
On your tail.
300
00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:06,912
- Wha...
- Wait for me.
301
00:11:06,937 --> 00:11:09,406
Takes me a little longer
to get up these days.
302
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,998
Already on the second
trimester of my first week.
303
00:11:12,216 --> 00:11:13,133
You're going, too?
304
00:11:13,158 --> 00:11:14,711
Sorry, Tandy, but I don't think
305
00:11:14,736 --> 00:11:17,039
we can afford to take a chance here.
306
00:11:21,201 --> 00:11:22,830
So we're just gonna leave him, huh?
307
00:11:22,855 --> 00:11:25,092
We're just gonna let
him wake up all alone
308
00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:27,383
and try to piece together
what the hell happened?
309
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,851
We can't be stupid about this.
310
00:11:29,885 --> 00:11:31,108
Well, maybe there's a way to be
311
00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:33,669
smart and stupid at the same time.
312
00:11:34,176 --> 00:11:37,760
(coughing)
313
00:11:58,069 --> 00:11:59,282
Sup, dawg?
314
00:11:59,507 --> 00:12:00,507
Don't be alarmed.
315
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,634
Why on earth would I be alarmed?
316
00:12:03,659 --> 00:12:05,054
(chuckles) That's the spirit.
317
00:12:05,086 --> 00:12:06,590
Hey, why don't you come
on into the living room
318
00:12:06,615 --> 00:12:08,118
and have a seat, huh?
319
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,945
ERICA: Oh, Jenga!
320
00:12:18,009 --> 00:12:19,069
(Tandy clears throat)
321
00:12:20,762 --> 00:12:22,340
Look who I found, huh?
322
00:12:23,059 --> 00:12:25,082
What do you say we go
join the group, huh?
323
00:12:25,950 --> 00:12:27,109
Right this way.
324
00:12:28,173 --> 00:12:29,867
Don't be shy.
325
00:12:29,892 --> 00:12:31,696
If you guys could make a little room.
326
00:12:31,935 --> 00:12:34,563
Nice of Melissa to clear
you a little spot there.
327
00:12:36,914 --> 00:12:38,019
Hey, Mike.
328
00:12:39,031 --> 00:12:40,461
Hi.
329
00:12:40,932 --> 00:12:42,457
So how was your little nappy-poo?
330
00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:46,901
Do I have the virus?
331
00:12:47,005 --> 00:12:48,506
Well, I mean, you know...
332
00:12:49,030 --> 00:12:50,433
Maybe.
333
00:12:51,073 --> 00:12:51,667
Okay, yeah.
334
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:52,764
Look, l-look.
335
00:12:52,789 --> 00:12:54,591
These guys think that
there's, uh, you know,
336
00:12:54,616 --> 00:12:57,339
just a-a small possibility
that you might just have,
337
00:12:57,364 --> 00:12:59,535
like, a-a teeny-tiny
touch of the virus.
338
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,520
- Just-just a smidgen, really.
- Okay. Okay, okay.
339
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,213
I mean, we're not worried.
340
00:13:04,254 --> 00:13:05,555
I mean, not one bit.
341
00:13:06,846 --> 00:13:08,727
Yeah, you guys reek of confidence.
342
00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:12,739
So I assume that thing's for me, huh?
343
00:13:14,526 --> 00:13:17,763
Hey, look, we're doing this
'cause we care about you.
344
00:13:18,533 --> 00:13:20,862
We just have to be careful, you know?
345
00:13:21,106 --> 00:13:23,073
So why don't you just pop in there,
346
00:13:23,098 --> 00:13:24,675
ride out this cold,
347
00:13:25,039 --> 00:13:28,275
and one day, we'll all
laugh at this like hyenas.
348
00:13:28,504 --> 00:13:30,140
(chuckles)
349
00:13:31,556 --> 00:13:32,945
Where do I go to the bathroom?
350
00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:35,077
Oh, don't worry. We got
that all taken care of.
351
00:13:35,244 --> 00:13:36,767
(quietly): Todd, go get me a bucket.
352
00:13:37,486 --> 00:13:39,814
This is gonna be great, bud.
353
00:13:39,847 --> 00:13:41,792
Yeah, we're just gonna
have a nice normal night.
354
00:13:42,003 --> 00:13:43,003
And who knows?
355
00:13:43,157 --> 00:13:45,660
Maybe you'll even have a
little fun along the way.
356
00:13:46,466 --> 00:13:47,866
- TODD: Miley Cyrus!
- MELISSA: Yes!
357
00:13:47,984 --> 00:13:50,645
Uh, okay, this guy's
dead from the virus.
358
00:13:50,670 --> 00:13:52,233
- Lead singer of U2.
- Uh, Bono!
359
00:13:52,258 --> 00:13:53,850
Yes! Okay.
360
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,272
Um, this guy's regular dead.
361
00:13:56,297 --> 00:13:58,096
Uh, "Frankly, Scarlett,
I don't give a damn."
362
00:13:58,121 --> 00:13:59,158
- Uh, Clark Gable!
- Yes.
363
00:13:59,183 --> 00:14:01,156
- Five seconds!
- Okay, okay, okay, um...
364
00:14:01,181 --> 00:14:02,624
dead New England Patriots quarterback,
365
00:14:02,649 --> 00:14:04,617
married to the dead
model, both from the virus.
366
00:14:04,642 --> 00:14:05,626
- Tom Brady!
- Yes!
367
00:14:05,651 --> 00:14:07,420
- TANDY: Time!
- Yes!
368
00:14:07,655 --> 00:14:11,046
Guys, do we have to say that the
person's dead every single time?
369
00:14:11,359 --> 00:14:12,942
You know, it just seems
like a major buzz kill.
370
00:14:12,967 --> 00:14:14,327
Well, an even bigger buzz kill
371
00:14:14,352 --> 00:14:16,860
is losing the game
due to lack of clarity.
372
00:14:17,246 --> 00:14:18,086
You want to go, Mike?
373
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:19,203
Uh, no, no, I'm fine.
374
00:14:19,228 --> 00:14:21,098
Aw, come on, Chef Miyagi.
375
00:14:21,123 --> 00:14:23,025
Come on, come on. Mike, Mike...
376
00:14:23,058 --> 00:14:24,533
ALL (chanting): Mike, Mike, Mike...
377
00:14:24,558 --> 00:14:26,561
O... Okay, okay, okay, all right.
378
00:14:26,586 --> 00:14:27,904
- Ready, go.
- Okay.
379
00:14:27,929 --> 00:14:29,531
Um, I'm not sure how
to describe this person.
380
00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:31,366
- Enrique Iglesias!
- No.
381
00:14:31,546 --> 00:14:32,304
Julio Iglesias!
382
00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:34,004
Let him get a clue out.
383
00:14:34,029 --> 00:14:35,304
I got a method!
384
00:14:35,336 --> 00:14:36,806
Uh, just pass. Pass on this one. Pass.
385
00:14:36,838 --> 00:14:38,207
(coughs)
386
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,375
Okay, uh, this person
was on Seinfeld.
387
00:14:40,469 --> 00:14:41,399
Seinfeld!
388
00:14:41,424 --> 00:14:43,273
- No, close.
- Glenn Close!
389
00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:45,506
No, I-I don't know if
you're gonna get this one.
390
00:14:45,531 --> 00:14:46,657
It just says, um,
391
00:14:47,179 --> 00:14:48,892
"The dead guy who played Newman."
392
00:14:49,132 --> 00:14:50,397
I don't know, um...
393
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,538
Hey, can we maybe do
something else, maybe? Just...
394
00:14:52,756 --> 00:14:54,123
What's wrong, Mike?
395
00:14:55,069 --> 00:14:57,124
It's just a little
weird, you know, just...
396
00:14:58,054 --> 00:14:59,054
The suits.
397
00:14:59,225 --> 00:15:00,350
It's the friggin' suits. I knew it.
398
00:15:00,504 --> 00:15:01,931
Well, you know what? This...
399
00:15:02,188 --> 00:15:03,205
Tandy, no!
400
00:15:03,230 --> 00:15:05,830
No. Look, it's fine, okay?
401
00:15:06,018 --> 00:15:07,018
He has a cold.
402
00:15:07,432 --> 00:15:08,636
That's it.
403
00:15:08,854 --> 00:15:09,854
Now, look at this.
404
00:15:10,086 --> 00:15:14,090
I'm taking my friggin' suit off,
and the world is still turning.
405
00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:15,778
All right?
406
00:15:16,287 --> 00:15:17,613
So what do you say?
407
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:19,998
Does anybody else want to join me?
408
00:15:26,347 --> 00:15:28,474
So this is actually a pretty typical
409
00:15:28,499 --> 00:15:29,651
second date for me, you know.
410
00:15:29,676 --> 00:15:31,003
- (chuckles)
- Yeah.
411
00:15:31,028 --> 00:15:33,076
You know, first date, always hibachi,
412
00:15:33,101 --> 00:15:35,819
and then the second date,
I like to invite a lady
413
00:15:35,844 --> 00:15:38,202
back to my quarantine
bubble, and, you know...
414
00:15:38,273 --> 00:15:39,850
Mm. (chuckles)
415
00:15:40,116 --> 00:15:42,309
Yeah, you're a real
smooth operator, Mike.
416
00:15:42,334 --> 00:15:43,379
(both laugh)
417
00:15:43,404 --> 00:15:45,740
(coughs)
418
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,045
(sniffles)
419
00:15:50,257 --> 00:15:51,312
(clears throat)
420
00:15:51,346 --> 00:15:55,267
Sorry my sickness is,
uh, you know, scaring you.
421
00:15:55,852 --> 00:15:57,119
I'm not worried.
422
00:15:57,454 --> 00:16:00,022
Yeah, I think I'm coming
around to Tandy's theory.
423
00:16:00,345 --> 00:16:01,570
It's just a cold.
424
00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:07,996
Would it be okay if I, uh...
425
00:16:09,354 --> 00:16:10,571
It would.
426
00:16:17,047 --> 00:16:20,042
Hang on, let's... let's do this right.
427
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:26,349
(chuckles)
428
00:16:31,401 --> 00:16:32,488
TANDY: Ooh!
429
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,055
(all oohing)
430
00:16:34,088 --> 00:16:35,973
(whooping)
431
00:16:35,998 --> 00:16:37,134
Oh, my God, you guys, hurry!
432
00:16:37,159 --> 00:16:38,283
Come quick!
433
00:16:49,004 --> 00:16:50,905
Oh, farts.
434
00:16:52,396 --> 00:16:54,437
Oh, you poor little thing.
435
00:16:55,158 --> 00:16:57,628
Your mama's gone, but you still got us.
436
00:16:58,273 --> 00:16:59,680
Has Mike been around this cow?
437
00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:01,198
He was milking it today.
438
00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:02,866
He has to go, now.
439
00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:05,576
There's no way the virus
could take down a cow
440
00:17:05,601 --> 00:17:06,842
in, like, six hours.
441
00:17:06,867 --> 00:17:08,462
Then how else do you explain it?
442
00:17:08,487 --> 00:17:09,650
Uh, you know, uh, uh...
443
00:17:09,675 --> 00:17:10,759
It could have been old age.
444
00:17:10,784 --> 00:17:12,185
Uh, the cow could have had, like,
445
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:14,073
some congenital hoof disorder.
446
00:17:14,098 --> 00:17:16,080
Uh, hell, could have
been this little guy!
447
00:17:16,105 --> 00:17:18,817
I mean, look at him
and those demon eyes.
448
00:17:19,132 --> 00:17:20,484
No, Tandy.
449
00:17:20,991 --> 00:17:22,761
That cow survived the
virus just like us,
450
00:17:22,786 --> 00:17:23,988
and now look at her.
451
00:17:24,122 --> 00:17:25,383
I'm with Melissa.
452
00:17:25,408 --> 00:17:26,743
Three strikes, you're out.
453
00:17:26,768 --> 00:17:27,768
Let's do this.
454
00:17:27,924 --> 00:17:29,971
But you... oh, wait!
455
00:17:29,996 --> 00:17:31,752
You forgot your friggin' pitchforks
456
00:17:31,777 --> 00:17:33,457
and your torches!
457
00:17:33,482 --> 00:17:35,654
Hey, whoa! Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa! What's going on?!
458
00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:37,554
I'm sorry, bud. We're
moving you, all right?
459
00:17:37,579 --> 00:17:39,170
- What? What? Why? What happened?!
- We got him.
460
00:17:39,202 --> 00:17:40,763
- Get out of here!
- Come on, guys...
461
00:17:40,896 --> 00:17:43,040
Get away from him! What are you doing?!
462
00:17:43,435 --> 00:17:46,363
If you move him, you're
gonna have to move me, too.
463
00:17:46,388 --> 00:17:48,048
Great. Todd, move Tandy.
464
00:17:48,073 --> 00:17:48,948
Todd!
465
00:17:49,081 --> 00:17:50,714
I friggin' love you, man.
466
00:17:50,823 --> 00:17:54,853
But if you take one more step,
I will friggin' rip you apart.
467
00:17:55,823 --> 00:17:58,053
Phil, if they want me
to go, I'll just go.
468
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:00,859
No! Mike, you're staying right here.
469
00:18:02,226 --> 00:18:03,835
This is my brother.
470
00:18:04,886 --> 00:18:07,372
Okay? My own flesh and blood.
471
00:18:08,105 --> 00:18:09,568
Until two weeks ago,
472
00:18:09,937 --> 00:18:12,236
I thought I had lost him forever.
473
00:18:13,351 --> 00:18:14,573
What are the chances?
474
00:18:14,606 --> 00:18:18,209
The entire world dies...
there's seven of us...
475
00:18:18,351 --> 00:18:20,171
and my brother shows up.
476
00:18:21,781 --> 00:18:23,581
That is not a coincidence.
477
00:18:26,153 --> 00:18:28,619
I said good-bye to him once.
478
00:18:28,887 --> 00:18:30,959
I am not gonna do it again.
479
00:18:32,685 --> 00:18:36,193
He has a friggin' cold.
480
00:18:36,227 --> 00:18:37,629
(coughing)
481
00:18:39,465 --> 00:18:41,945
Come on, we got to find
a house for the night.
482
00:18:53,546 --> 00:18:55,579
You mind if I stay with Mike tonight?
483
00:18:56,283 --> 00:18:58,194
- All right?
- Okay, it's fine.
484
00:18:58,469 --> 00:18:59,980
Just be careful.
485
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,592
You're the best. You're the best.
486
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:07,427
CAROL: Okay, Mike.
487
00:19:07,826 --> 00:19:08,558
Good night.
488
00:19:08,583 --> 00:19:09,657
Night.
489
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,091
Phil, come on.
490
00:19:15,116 --> 00:19:16,500
Maybe I should just go
away for a while, all right?
491
00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:19,064
It's a cold, Mike.
492
00:19:20,564 --> 00:19:21,640
It's a cold.
493
00:19:22,533 --> 00:19:23,533
Yeah.
494
00:19:23,994 --> 00:19:25,651
All right, you want to get some sleep?
495
00:19:26,588 --> 00:19:27,588
Sure.
496
00:19:33,204 --> 00:19:35,020
What do you think, 69 or 11?
497
00:19:35,813 --> 00:19:38,155
Why don't we start with
11 and go from there.
498
00:19:38,891 --> 00:19:40,191
Sure.
499
00:19:40,553 --> 00:19:41,717
(sniffles)
500
00:19:43,069 --> 00:19:44,071
(sighs)
501
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:53,005
You want to do one for old time's sake?
502
00:19:55,709 --> 00:19:56,709
(coughs)
503
00:19:58,639 --> 00:20:01,996
♪ I don't know you ♪
504
00:20:02,021 --> 00:20:05,293
BOTH: ♪ But I want you ♪
505
00:20:05,318 --> 00:20:08,952
♪ All the more for that ♪
506
00:20:08,985 --> 00:20:11,286
(coughs)
507
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:14,815
♪ Words fall through me ♪
508
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:18,199
♪ Always fool me ♪
509
00:20:18,224 --> 00:20:22,646
♪ And I can't react... ♪
510
00:20:23,606 --> 00:20:24,607
(coughs)
511
00:20:46,331 --> 00:20:47,966
"So long, Phil.
512
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,430
Didn't want you to have
to say good-bye again."
513
00:20:54,499 --> 00:20:59,499
Resync by Rapunzel
- Thanks to Octavia@addic7ed.com -