Jerrod: Welcome to Urkel trivia night!
[Cheering] Yeah!
All right, everybody knows the rules.
The first team to a hundred points
wins a gift card for two free beers.
[Cheering] Yeah!
Now this will be a battle of wits, skill and... [pounds on table]
Shut the [bleeps] up, Jerrod, and get on with it!
[Cheering] Yeah!
Okay, okay. [Clears throat] So the first question is,
"What object did Urkel use to knock out the psycho twins?"
[Music playing]
Yo, dude, we know this one.
Course we do, man. We're geniuses about everything related
- to Family Matters and Urkel. - Then why aren't we raising our hand yet?
- I have no idea. - Answer the question.
Lets do it. Yo, Jerrod!
- Yes, the Lucas brothers. - What is snooze juice?
[Dings] That is correct!
And the Lucas brothers are off and running!
[Music playing] Urk-man jerkel!
[Dinging] Transformation chamber!
- Suspenders! - Cheese!
- Cheese!
- Both: And more cheese!
And the Lucas brothers win!
[Triumphant music plays]
- Boom! - Man, this some bullshit.
Don't even sweat it, Mike. We'll get these fools on Frasier trivia night.
- [Chuckles] Oh yeah. - The whole world know I [bleeps] with Niles!
[Engine starts]
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~
Man! You guys were unstoppable tonight!
I mean, there is officially no one in Brooklyn
that knows as much about Urkel trivia as you two do.
- Man: The government couldn't agree more. - Yo, who said that?
- Special Agent Spender, F.B.I. - Oh. Okay.
Lucas brothers, you need to come with me.
- We do? - Why?
We've got urgent matters to discuss.
- Oh, word? - What kind of matters?
Family Matters.
[Jazz music plays]
I'm gonna get straight to the point, Lucas brothers,
because time is of the essence.
[Beeps, whirs] Over the last decade, the government has made
numerous efforts to reboot the Family Matters franchise,
but to no avail. [unzips]
[Beeps, whirs] [Zips]
- [Laughs] What? - Why would the government
want to bring back Family Matters?
What? Are you kidding me? Do you watch the news?
The world is completely [bleeps] right now.
Unemployment is at an all-time high,
we in the middle of a war we can't win,
and Michael Jackson is dead.
All we got is them other Jacksons.
And now more than ever, America needs a distraction,
we need something to feel good about.
We need Steven Quincy Urkel.
[Beeps] Did I do that?
[Laughter] Hmm. That's actually not a bad plan.
Yeah, I can see how that would make people feel better.
There's just one problem:
Jaleel White has buried the idea of Urkel so deep in his unconscious,
that he doesn't even remember playing the character.
- Why wouldn't he want to be Urkel? - Everybody loves Urkel.
Look, you have to understand who we're talking about here.
[Beeps] Jaleel White is an acting genius.
The youngest student to ever graduate Juilliard,
trained at the Royal Shakespeare Company,
and we only know him as some cheese-eating nerd.
- Man, that's so sad. - So what's he up to now?
Today, he lives the life of a recluse.
He has no friends, and he never leaves the house.
- Never leaves the house? - What does he do for food?
- How does he eat? - He orders Thai food delivery
- every single night. - But why Thai food?
Because Thai food ain't got no cheese. [Blows]
No, you're right! Thai food doesn't have any cheese.
- I actually never had Thai food. - You've had Thai food before.
- I had Thai food? - Remember, like, pad noodles?
- Ugh. - Look, brothers, your mission, should you
choose to accept it, is to go inside Jaleel White's mind
find wherever it is he's hidden the memory of Urkel,
- and set it free. - Sure, whatever.
- We're down. - Hold up, hold up, hold up.
How are we supposed to get inside his mind?
With these... shrinky dink pills.
Hmm. "Shrinky dink pills."
Glad to see my tax dollars going to good use.
Can you get addicted to these?
[Beeps] Okay, the Thai food delivery guy
is around the corner. Jerrod, are you in position?
Affirmative. In position. [Vocalizing tune]
[Grunts] [Whispers] Good night, moon.
[Thuds] Target neutralized.
- All systems go. - Spender: Over and peace out.
- Hey, little bros., you guys ready? - Well, you know, at first,
I was really cool with it, but now that we're so small,
I'm not really sure about it. [Brothers yelp]
Godspeed, little Lucas brothers.
[Knocks] Hello, sir. I have Thai food delivery for you.
Jaleel: Leave it at the door! I'm a recluse!
[Rustles]
[Sniffs deeply]
Mm-mmm! No cheese.
[Brothers yelp] Oh snap!
- This is crazy, dude! - A'ight, let's go now!
Go, go, go, go, go!
- Ah! - Watch out for the food!
- Whoa! - Why's the dude such a messy eater?
Whoa! All right, on three, jump onto the beard!
- A'ight. - Both: One, two, three!
[Both yelling]
Keep going up, man! All we gotta do is make it to the ear!
And then from there, we can crawl inside his mind!
- Oh, this sucks. - I don't have enough strength for this!
[Grunts, sighs]
All right, dude, we made it.
- Kenny, are you ready for this? - Absolutely.
All right, Urkel, we're coming to get you.
Both: Whoa.
Keef: It's the Winslows' house from Family Matters.
Kenny: What's it doing in Jaleel White's mind?
I'm guessing it's his memory palace
where he stores all of his past thoughts.
So Urkel must be in there somewhere.
[Applause]
So the question we have to ask ourselves is this:
If we were an unwanted memory,
- where would we hide? - Hmm.
Oh! The refrigerator! It has to be the refrigerator.
- Has to be the refrigerator. - That's perfect.
'Cause I'm starving.
[Laughter]
Damn! There's no food.
Man, this memory hunting stuff is exhausting.
I know, dude. How about we take a quick break and see
what's on TV? You know, take our minds off of the mind.
That's right. I think we need a break.
I wonder what's on the Winslows' TV.
Only one way to find out. [Clicks]
[Music playing] Kenny: Family Matters.
- Keef: Obviously. - Oh, hey! What's up, Lucas brothers?
- Oh, hey, Laura. - What are you guys doing here?
- We're looking for Urkel. - Both: # Have you seen him? #
You know what? I haven't seen Steve
since the very last episode when he got lost in space.
[Mimics buzzer] The series finale of Family Matters
- is actually a two-parter. - We would know,
because we're Urkel trivia night winners.
Yeah, in the first part he gets lost in space...
But in the second part, he comes back and he kisses you.
Eww! No way I'd let Steve kiss me!
Now I gotta get back to the show. Peace!
- Oh, hey, Lucas bro... - It's kinda weird.
Why didn't Laura remember Urkel coming back from space?
Maybe because in Jaleel White's mind,
- Urkel never came back! - Are you suggesting that he
purposefully forgot part two of the Family Matters series finale?
- Yes, I am. - That's why none of his memories
- would ever remember him returning! - Exactly!
Which means Urkel's still lost in space!
How do we get to space?
I think we just gotta make Jaleel White think about a spaceship.
All right, so follow my lead. We're just gonna scream "spaceship."
- All right. Spaceship! - Spaceship!
- Think of a spaceship! - What?
D-Did somebody say something about space?
Both: Spaceship!
God damn it! The voices are back!
[Rumbling] [Whirs]
[Shatters] Nice. It worked.
- Thanks, dude. - All right, let's get in.
- Yo, where are the keys? - I think we gotta do the same thing.
- Hey, we need keys! - Hey! Keys, dude!
- Got any keys? - [Screams] Get outta my mind!
[Poofs] Cool.
[Engine starts]
[Crash]
[Peaceful music playing]
Man. Jaleel White's mind is so beautiful.
Keef: Yo, where'd that meteor come from?
It must be a defense mechanism, dude.
His unconscious is trying to stop us from finding Urkel!
That means we gotta be getting close.
Freeze! Memory police!
Oh snap! It's Robocop Winslow!
[Cocks] We must be getting real close.
Run, dude! Run!
Hey, Jaleel White, give us a space gun!
- Yeah, and give me a bow and arrow. - Why you want a bow and arrow?
I don't know. I feel like it's more appropriate in this situation.
No, we need space guns. We're in space.
All right, I'll take a lightsaber.
All right. Well, one lightsaber and one space gun!
[Poofs] Dope.
[Laughs]
The space lasers are bouncing right off of him!
- What are we gonna do? - Okay, what is Carl Winslow's only weakness?
- [Snaps] Getting shot in the butt! - Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!
- That is correct! - Man, we really do know a lot about Family Matters.
Hey, Robo-Carl Winslow! What's that?
Huh?
Oh! My ass!
[Both screaming]
[Sirens blaring] Yo! We gotta get to that cave!
Yeah, you're right! Let's get out of here!
- Keef: Man, it's dark in here. - Hey, dude, think of a torch!
[Poofs] Urkel: Who's there?
[Coughs] Yo, it's the memory of Urkel.
- He looks so scared. - He's been hiding here forever.
[Coughs] Little dude must be starving.
- Got any cheese? - Sorry, man, we don't.
- Oh. - Kenny: But we can set you free.
Keef: Let's go home, Urkel.
Is that...?
Keef: That's it, dude. Those are your memories.
Urkel: It's been so long.
- You made it, Urkel. - You're free, brother.
Thank you so much, Lucas bros. [Snorts]
- See you on the flip side. - Bye, Urkel.
Look, man. Urkel's becoming one
with all of Jaleel White's consciousness.
Mission accomplished. [Slap]
All right, man, it's time to get out of here.
For sure. Hey, think about sneezing!
Yeah, sneeze, dude!
[Sneezes]
[Both yelp, thud]
Damn it! Did I do that?
Did I do that? Did I...
Did I do that? Did I do that? Did I do that?
Did I... did I... did I... did I...
Did I... did I... did I... did I... did I... did I... did I... did I... did I...
I'm back!
[Jazz music plays]
Man, I thought these shrinky dink pills would've worn off by now.
Yeah, me too, but it's kinda cool being small.
You get to sleep in small places.
Oh, yeah. We can sleep anywhere now.
- Kenny: Cheerios are a lot bigger. - Keef: That's true.
It doesn't take as much weed to get high.
It'll probably take us 10 years to go through a gram.
Oh snap. [Laughs]
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~