This is a story of an extraordinary oyster.
Born from a toxic spill,
he was adopted by humans with his shell brother.
And now, he must hide his secret oyster powers.
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~
Boyster!
OK, kids! Now, who can tell me
what sea creature, besides an octopus,
- has eight arms and... - What a ridiculously easy question!
- The answer is... - I said "kids."
- Are you a kid? - Obviously not.
Anyone else?
I know! A squid?
Correct! Huh?
The rare giant squid can grow
to be as large as 33 feet long.
And is an extremely active sea creature.
Wonder why it looks so bummed.
I guess he doesn't like living his whole life in this tank.
He'd probably rather be with his friends and family in the ocean.
Wow, you're right! Look!
The coral reef. A kaleidoscope of colors.
That's incredible! You understood him.
Must be because you're both from the ocean.
Well, I don't know.
Every day it's like you've got some new superpower.
You make pearls and you're all stretchy.
Now, you're like the Squid Whisperer.
- You're amazing. - I don't know about amazing.
- What's he saying now? - Uh, well, he's saying...
I think he's saying... he wants to get out.
That makes total sense!
He's all cooped up in there. What should we do?
Mmm... There's only one thing we can do!
Huh? Rafik.
- Quiet with that thing. - What thing?
Oh, now I hear it.
- How are we gonna get Gilly out of there? - Leave that to me.
Piece of cake!
Works just like the claw machine game at the mini-mart.
You mean the game you've never won?
Ohh...
And he was worried about a squeaky stroller.
A-ha!
OK. Let's go.
Wake up, Gilly. We're here!
Hmm?
- Hmm? - What's happening?
Why is he freaking out?
He's excited because his dream is coming true.
You're right, look! He's nodding his head.
It's OK, Gilly. You're free now.
Swim free.
What's his problem?
Shh. Let me listen.
Ahh. He's been in the aquarium for so long,
he doesn't remember how to live in the ocean.
Of course.
It's a good thing you understand him so well.
So, what do we do?
Don't worry, Gilly.
Rafik and I will teach you everything you need to know.
Hmm?
Hmm.
Forgive me, but I don't recall ordering a giant cephalopod.
Shelby, meet Gilly.
He's gonna be staying here until he's ready to go back to the ocean.
Of course, that makes perfect sense.
Mm-hmm.
I was being sarcastic. That makes no sense at all.
What are you thinking?!
Shelby, it's cool. Gilly told Boyster he wants
to go back to the ocean, but first he needs some training.
Ahh. He told Boyster. That makes perfect sense.
Are you being sarcastic again?
- Yes. - Boyster can talk to squids.
- It's amazing! - It's kind of a new thing.
Excuse me, I was watching that!
Consuelo was about to tell Eduardo about her secret twin sister.
Ahh!
- He doesn't like to share, does he? - Yeah. We're gonna
need to teach him how to get along with other animals.
What's he saying?
- He agrees. - Cool.
OK, Gilly. We're going to teach you some social skills.
You ready?
No. No TV right now.
TV later. Right now is learning time.
Now I'd like you to meet a new friend.
Gilly, this is Ra-squid.
- Hey, Gilly, what's up? - Say your line.
Any idea where a squid can find
an all-you-can-eat shrimp buffet around here?
Huh? Ahh!
No, Gilly!
Spit out Ra-squid! We do not eat our friends.
Hey, I am not squid chow!
Hmm... I think he's frustrated because he's hungry
and doesn't know how to hunt for food in the wild.
Oh, right, of course. Why didn't I think of that?
Huh?
Uh-uh. There are no refrigerators in the wild.
And no TV either.
Come on, I got an idea.
Are you sure we can do this here?
Yeah, the pool's closed.
OK, Gilly, ready for your fishing lesson?
Go get it, boy! Get the fish!
Like this.
See? Fish.
Mmm. Tasty. Mmm...
Huh?
Uh-oh.
Huh?
Settle, chief, or I will not hesitate to use my noogie knuckle.
You're all in a world of doo-doo.
I'm citing you for trespassing and defacing public property.
Wait, ma'am. We're really sorry.
We were just trying to teach our, uh... our friend to swim.
Well, since you're minors, I'll let you off with a warning.
Lucky for you, it's 3-for-1 at Taco Hut.
And I'm in a hurry to get out of here. Now, skedaddle!
Boy, she's tough.
Yeah, but nothing a giant squid shouldn't be able to handle.
We gotta teach Gilly how to defend himself,
or he'll never survive out there.
No. No more training. Do you know what he did?
He recorded over the finale of "So You Think You Can Yodel."
- Gilly has got to go! - He will. He promised
that as soon as we're done with his self-defense training,
he'll be ready to go.
He promised? Boyster, he's a squid.
Squids don't talk!
Shelby, Shelby, Shelby. It's so obvious you're jealous
- because you don't have Boyster's gift. - He does have a point.
Come on, Rafik. Let's get to work.
Ahh!
Ohh!
Good defense technique, Gilly.
I think you're ready.
Let's go back to the ocean.
Gilly?
Come on, boy. Time to go.
Boyster, he doesn't want to go.
Shelby, I think I know what he wants better than you.
Come on, Gilly. I'm doing this for you!
Gootchie-gootchie-goo!
Whoa!
How long do you think Gilly can survive outside the aquarium?
- Not long. - Huh?
Gilly has spent his entire life in the aquarium,
and knows no other habitat. He's completely helpless.
He requires a team of professionals to look after him,
and clean up the extremely messy ink he sprays whenever he's frightened.
Listen to her! Call yourself an expert?
- What a joke! - No, she's right. Look at Gilly.
- He wants to go home. - Oh, really, Shelby?
Then why did he tell Boyster all that stuff about wanting to be free?
Hmm?
He didn't tell me that.
He didn't tell me anything.
I thought I could understand him, but...
I was just fooling myself!
Wow, Boyster. I don't know what to believe anymore.
Are you really even half oyster?
And this thing, what is it, some kind of puppet?
- Where do you put the hand in? - Get off me, you nitwit.
Of course he's half oyster.
I'm sorry, Gilly.
I never should've done this to you. I'll take you home now.
Can you forgive me?
I don't speak Squid, but I think you're forgiven.
Oh.
Gilly sure looks happy to be back home.
Well, one thing I don't get.
Why was he so bummed the first time we saw him?
Hey, isn't that TV bigger than the one that
- was there before? - Yeah. Maybe that's it.
- Maybe he just wanted a bigger TV. - Hmm, maybe you're right.
Does that TV look familiar to you?
Nooo!
Ah! Nothing but net!
I don't know how you do it, Boyster.
A little calcium, and a lot of practice.
This is inconceivable.
What I'm about to tell you defies belief.
Yeah, yeah. You figured out how to program
the DVR with your phone. You told us, like, 1000 times.
For your information, I only told you twice.
And that's not the inconceivable thing.
Jason Ruckus is shooting a film right here in town!
- Get out! - No way!
Jason Ruckus is the best!
I almost became a frozen oyster trying to copy his stunts in Little Christmas Ninja.
- Ahh! - Ahh!
Ahh!
I couldn't eat Italian food for three whole months
after Pizza Posse 2: Dangerous Delivery.
After Jason's man-melting performance in Saving Billy,
I tried to get a family of dolphins to adopt me!
Huh?
The man revolutionized martial arts.
He invented the Shaolin Nutcracker.
So what are we doing here?
We should be on the set right now!
Whoo-hoo!
I want sensuality! I want emotion.
You're beautiful! You're free!
And you love Have A Cow Yogurt.
Action!
Are you sure this is the right place?
It always looks shabby before they add the special effects.
I can't wait to see Jason bust in and take out that mutant cow.
Cut!
Jason Ruckus?!
Mr. Ruckus?
If this about that laser hair removal bill, I'm gonna pay it.
Please, don't stop my treatments. I need my manscaping!
We just wanna take a picture.
Oh.
It's been a while since I've seen any fans.
Not since I was ripped off by my agent,
my lawyer, and my hair colorist.
Everything went downhill after that.
Everybody abandoned me, but Cassandra hurt the most.
- Your wife? - No, my Afghan hound.
I couldn't afford her kibble anymore.
She... She ran off with a groomer.
Would you mind doing one with my suitcase?
We're going again! Places, everyone!
Sorry, guys. I gotta get back.
Uh, Mr. Ruckus, when is your next movie coming out?
Don't you get it, kid? The movie business is done with me.
Hey, cow guy, I'm not paying you to stand around yacking.
This isn't right.
If these people knew what Jason's capable of,
they'd give him the kind of role he deserves.
- Hey, how about we show them? - Huh?
I get it.
Have A Cow Yogurt is so good, it moo-ves me.
No! Bigger, more emotion!
One-a large-a pizza with all-a the toppings, a-huh!
But I didn't order pizza.
Trust me. I've diffused many pizzas like this.
Now, in Pizza Posse, did I pull out the red wire or the blue one?
Come on, Jason, you can do this.
I think it was the red one.
- OK, plan "B". - I am so very sorry.
- Huh? - Raah!
- Shelby, plan "C". - Get him off me!
Look, up there!
I got you, little fella.
- It's OK now. - Mmm.
Aww.
This guy's amazing! We have to find a better part for him.
Yes!
Whoa!
Get this disaster off my set right now!
- You can't do that! - Hmm?
I mean, woof-woof-woof-woof.
- You can't fire him! - That's Jason Ruckus!
Is that supposed to mean something to me?
Are you serious?! Jason Ruckus invented the Shaolin Nutcracker!
- Go on, Jason, show him. - Huh?
Sorry, guys. I could never do that stunt by myself.
I always used a butt double.
You've done me a favor. I used to think I might make a comeback,
but now I know for sure I'm done.
Go ahead, walk away. Quitter!
When I think of all the hours I wasted
- practicing the Shaolin Nutcracker... - Jason, you can't give up.
This isn't you. J.R., wait!
And where do you think you're going?
I still have a yogurt commercial to shoot.
Aw, great. The whole school's gonna see this.
We'll be an even bigger joke
than that sixth grader who thinks he's a robot.
- Action! - Have A Cow Yogurt is so good
it moo-ves me.
Cut! Wrong! Let's do it again!
Have A Cow Yogurt is so good it moo-ves me.
Have A Cow Yogurt is so...
Whoops!
It's so good, it moo-ves me!
It's so good, it moo-ves me.
And a single serving provides
a whole year's worth of calcium.
What? Did you say calcium?
Ahh! Ugh!
Out of my way!
- Help! - Hey, you're a talking sheep!
I am most certainly not a talking sheep!
I'm a talking dog.
Let me through, I've got a talking dog!
Ahh!
Hold on, Rafik!
Don't worry about me. Save yourself.
I want you to have my video game collection.
And tell Laura to try and forget me.
Isn't Laura going out with Eric?
Do you mind? These are my last moments on Earth!
No, they're not! I'm getting you out of here!
Let me go!
Oh, no! Boyster, Rafik!
Huh?
Thanks, Mr. Ruckus. You're still number one.
Don't thank me. I'm the one who should be thanking you guys.
'Cause you made me realize that in this life,
you gotta reach out and grab what's yours.
I remember when I was making Pizza Posse 1,
or was it 2? You know what, it doesn't matter.
The point is...
Oh, no! Mr. Ruckus! J.R.!
Huh?
Awesome! Now what?
We'll get Jason out on this. Somehow.
Come on, Jason, you can do it.
- Huh? - Jason Ruckus saved our lives!
I did? Uh...
Yes! Ha!
- Pretty inspiring, don't you think? - Hmm.
No one believed in him anymore...
Have A Cow Yogurt is so good...
To think I begged for this job.
...but real heroes never die.
My babies! My babies are trapped in there!
You can't go in there!
That warehouse is full of highly explosive chemicals!
Well, cover your ears, lieutenant.
Because it's probably gonna go "boom"!
From the director of the Have A Cow Yogurt commercial,
based on a true story.
Jason Ruckus is back in...
The Studio Inferno!
Looks like one of these little guys got kind of scared.
Puppies?! Aw, that should've been us!
Who cares? Jason's a star again.
- That's what counts. - We'd better hurry.
We don't want to be late for the 4:30 showing.
All right! It's Ruckus time!
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~