Euphoria, Fatback Taffy, Connie Lingus,
and the rest of you whores, come on!
The doctor's here for your annual five-year checkup.
Hello, ladies. Can you whores get on your
knees, please? Now say, "ahh."
- Ahh. Mother[bleep] ahh. - That's it.
Now hold it right there.
Mm-hmm. Looks like you have
- acid gag reflux. - That is impossible, doc.
- I always use protection. - Have you experienced any
- unusual discharge? - No, just the usual green ones.
Mm-hmm.
Now, Connie Lingus, I'm going to check your peripheral vision,
so look straight ahead. Tell me when you see
- the back of my hand. - Right there! Right there!
Please don't hit me, daddy. Please!
Your vision is intact, but you do seem to suffer from a bit
of post-traumatic pimp-slap syndrome.
Now let's check out those
- kegel muscles. - This little speculum ain't
gonna do nothing. Who this for?
We some hoes. What you think you gonna do with
this speculum? Oh, doc, you acting like you
scared of the [bleep] come on, I'm-a walk you through
it 'cause you gonna go straight up this [bleep].
When you get up there, you gonna take the [bleep] on the left.
Now, when you get to the fork in that [bleep] you gonna take
a quick right and come on back down to the new [bleep]
that's the one I need examined.
After a very, very, very thorough and delightful
examination, I'm afraid to say that these whores are all whored out.
I am prescribing a week-long whore-cation in Jamaica.
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
♪ He's Dynamite ♪
♪ So Dynamite ♪
♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪
♪ Ooohhh, aaahhh ♪
♪ He's Dynamite ♪
♪ Dy-no, Dy-no ♪
♪ Ooohhh, ooohhh ♪
♪ Ooohhhh ♪
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~
This week...
- And here's your tickets, Bee. - Why would I need to go on a ho-cation?
'Cause you need a break, too, Honey Bee,
obviously not from sucking and [bleep] but from managing all
- the sucking and [bleep]. - What are y'all
- gonna be doing while we're gone? - Since the orphans
are all away at orphan camp, I figured it'd be
a good time to renovate the Whorephanage.
We need to fix these beds, chairs, chandeliers,
and floors, 'cause even the furniture's worn out like these whores!
Damn, it looks like every vagina in the black
- community is here. - No, I ain't gonna take
[bleep] off. No, I ain't doing a mother[bleep] thing.
Bitch, don't fall for that [bleep] don't let that [bleep] feel on
you like that. You got to pay for that [bleep]
give a [bleep] where you at [bleep]. Who is your pastor?
Okay, what do we
- do now, Black Dynamite? - Not sure.
I'm afraid my skill set has only allowed me to put people
- through walls, not nails. - Well, we can use this.
"Repairing Whorephanages for suckas"?
Yep, it's a how-to book. They have a whole series.
"Walking in platform shoes for suckas," "How to keep your pimp hand strong for suckas,"
- "How not to be a sucka ..." - I don't care how much it'll help.
I ain't reading it 'cause Black Dynamite ain't no "sucka."
Man, Frank the John's been calling all day asking where the hoes at.
Frank the John, I know you calling for some
sucking and [bleep] fun, but the whores ain't here right now.
They're living dick-free in the land of the mother[bleep] sun!
- Rhatid, dem amazing. - Oh, me see dem.
Dem so beautiful, old, wrinkled, and pale.
Not dem, boy ... the one next to dem. Come in.
We go over there. Nobody mess this up, you know.
- Let's go. - I like Jamaica, but why it
- got so many Jamaicans? - Wait a minute.
- Jamaicans come in vanilla? - Y'all shouldn't be
looking at no men anyway. We came here to give your
- suckers and [bleep] a break. - Yeah, we need a break from
sucking and [bleep] but you need some sucking and [bleep].
Hello, ladies. I'm your server, Dexter.
This is Saint, and this is Jacques.
Together, we are Dexter Saint Jacques.
- Hors d'oeuvres? - Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Unh-unh!
The doctor said no sex, and that includes food that you can [bleep]
How we supposed to enjoy our ho-cation if you don't relax?
I'm relaxed. I'm having a-a real good time.
The only thing having a good time is that stick up your ass.
Mm, she's right. You need to stop bottom bitching
and get you some of these jamaican hot dogs.
I guess you're right.
Black Dynamite did send me here to relax.
Maybe I just need to go lay on the beach.
No, you need to get laid on the beach.
Yeah, we can hear your [bleep]
when you walk, bitch. You too dry, hoe.
Suey! Suey! Suey! Suey!
Now, I ain't racist, and I don't mean to clown,
but, damn, I wish there was some mother[bleep] Mexicans around!
- Should have been a sucka. - Get the phone, sucka.
Oh, no need, Black Dynamite.
I put a sign by the phone that says, "we all whored out,"
so we ain't even got to answer.
Frank the John? John the John?
- What do you want? - What do we want?
You see all these rock-hard dicks standing in front of you?
We need some [bleep] and sucking, and we need it now!
And if you ain't got [bleep] and sucking, we'll take some
- sucking and [bleep] - Didn't y'all hear
the sign? We fresh out of hoes.
- Aren't y'all married, anyway? - Of course we're married.
Why you think we here? Look, I can't walk around
like this all day. I-I work in a school with kids.
- My dick is harder than slavery. - Yeah, this is dangerous, man.
I have to walk home through a gay neighborhood with all this.
Come on, man. You ... you got to have a hoe up
in there somewhere. Ooh, what about that big, fat
Laffy Taffy bitch? We ... we could split her.
Bye and bye!
We need whores!
Give us brains!
♪ All right ♪
♪ I'm Jamaican ♪
♪ with the big, black jamaican tool ♪
♪ I'm Jamaican ♪
♪ and I'll give you a jamaican screw ♪
♪ well I walk into the party grab a lady and get naughty... ♪
Me name's Bob ... Bob Marley.
Yeah. Shabba.
Mmm. Mmm.
Mmm, this is some good jamaican ice cream.
Sorry for almost knocking your head off back there, but you
just can't be walking up on a bitch on the beach.
That's all right, daughter. I was really just trying
- to protect my spliff. - Now, what you say
your name was again? Mustafah Marley? Matumbo?
- What ... what ... what? - Bob. Bob Marley.
- I and I is a reggae star. - Well, I never heard of you.
Must not be that good, but keep working. Who knows?
One day, you might be as famous as Marlon Jackson.
Me originally was stunned by your beauty,
but the fact you no care who I am a-turn me on.
Good, 'cause I was trying not to say
nothing, but you need to comb that nappy-ass hair.
A coconut for my little coconut.
Hold up. Hold up. Hold... up.
The Bob Marley woke you up and saved you from getting sunburned?
Girl, yes, and then he climbed up a coconut tree,
massaged my feet, carried me in his arms along the beach.
Oh [bleep]. Then what, girl? Then what?
Then he got frisky on me when I let him rub
suntan lotion on me. I know good and damn well
that the inside of my vagina can't get sunburned.
- Dexter, you damn liar. - Me can't believe the biggest
reggae star in the world invited us to him private rehearsal show
before the one love peace concert.
First of all, I don't know you.
Second, he invited me. Third, I'm not going.
And fourth, who the [bleep] was talking to you?
For a woman who run a whorehouse, you're pretty.
When the last time you let a man back up in front
- of your butt from the back? - He's right.
When was the last time you felt love in the heart
- of your [bleep]? - It ain't been
- that long. 10 years, maybe. - Child, that thing probably
- don't even work no more. - My little [bleep]
[bleep] just fine. I just don't [bleep] with love.
Well, me and Dexter [bleep] with it all night long.
We do?
Oh, yeah, we do. We fall in love at first [bleep]
or is it [bleep] at first sight? Me forget.
Sucking and [bleep] for free is disgusting!
Now, I taught you hoes to be classier than that.
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
Black Dynamite, you might want to come and see this.
These Johns ain't had sex and are all backed up
with semen, and it's damn-near turned them into horny,
- mindless demons. - What should we do, Cream Corn?
I don't know. Why you asking me?
'Cause you and a monk are the only ones I know who can
deal successfully without getting ass for long periods of time,
- and there ain't no monk here I can ask. - Well, we can't call
the police. The mother[bleep] are out there, too,
dry humping the building and ready to screw.
What are we waiting for? Let's kill the Walking Dead dead!
Cream Corn, we can't do these mother[bleep] no damage
'cause these zombie Johns got us at an unfair dick-advantage.
♪ Let's go raw ♪
♪ I know you understand ♪ ♪ right in de palm of my hand ♪
♪ don't need de rubber ♪
♪ let's go raw ♪ ♪ I know you'll understand ♪
♪ can you feel it? ♪
Huh, that's strange.
- Don't y'all know he ain't famous? - Hey, you like me song, eh?
I-I guess it sounded good, even though I had
- no idea what you were saying. - Honey Bee, something special
about you in a jubee. You have me soul.
I jump around and flash and turn upside down and flip-flop
and skydive and all kind of ting. You know what me say?
I hope you got a Bob Marley-to-English dictionary
'cause your broken English is really broken, so I don't know ...
- You understand what me a-say now? - Ooh, oh.
I-I guess I do. You know, I-I usually don't allow
men to get this close to me, but for some strange reason,
I don't have my guards up with you.
You make me feel so safe.
It's time to die, Marley!
With the exception of these three mother[bleep]
with machine guns! What the hell?!
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
- Uh, Bob, what the [bleep] is going on? - No worry, Bee.
Just some man try and kill I.
- Me got your ass this time, boy. - No, I-I got him!
No, me got him!
Come on!
Way too positive. Music too damn positive.
Come back here! I go and block you!
- I go and block you, Bob! - Oh!
Ooh!
[bleep] with all this damn weed,
I thought this island would be way more peaceful!
- Well, some parts are peaceful. - What parts, Bob?!
Uh, mostly the parts I'm not in.
[bleep] What you guys doing here?
According to my Bob Marley assassination schedule,
it's the Jamaica labour party's turn to try and kill him.
No, it's not. My schedule says the
people's national party turn. Look here.
Foul, foul. That's last year's schedule, Man.
- Rhatid! You're right! - Told you. And who is you?
I'm with the C.I.A., asshole. [bleep] I got to go back
- and get my arm. - Who are you, man?
I don't see you up on this schedule.
Aren't you afraid of people trying to kill you?
Me a rebel, man, who don't have no help, nor take no bribe
and fight single-handed with the music in me heart for
- the people them. - [bleep] fighting
with music. You need a damn gun, bulletproof
vest, something. Well, I guess if you're not
afraid to die, I shouldn't be afraid of love.
Ohh, you sure know how to sweep a bottom bitch off her bottom.
Booyaka! Booyaka!
The whores ain't picking up. When they coming back?
Maybe they put a note by the phone so you could read it.
Damn, the Johns are trying to flood us out.
We need whores! Give us brains!
- Mm. - Baby, why you always wear
- so much clothes? - I'm in a bikini.
- I'm damn-near naked. - No.
Now you are. Wow, jah has clearly, clearly,
clearly blessed you. You is so beautiful...
- both of you. - Oh, my gosh.
- You like my giant spliff? - Mm-hmm.
I want to smoke it. Oh, a real spliff?
Okay, really? Mm.
Yeah.
Booyaka! Booyaka!
Ohh, you just made up for 10 years of no orgasms
in one night. Whoo, my vagina ... she got her
groove back, but you blew my back out.
Would you stay if me promised to give your vagina
- it groove back every day? - This is beautiful
and all, but this ain't gonna last, sweetheart.
I got to go back to the whorephan...
Mm. Mm. Mm.
Me love you, Bee. Now what you say, baby?
Aw, damn! I'm in love at first [bleep].
What are you girls doing?
- Are you girls sucking and [bleep] - Just getting a little
- late-night room service. - Well, guess what.
- Me, too! - What?!
Hey, y'all! Bob Marley knocked the dust off
Honey Bee's [bleep]! Cobwebs and all!
So, when you coming back to the hotel to give us
- all the details, girl? - Well, that's the thing, see.
I'm not coming back to the hotel. I'm not leaving Jamaica.
Honey Bee, you can't do that. Girl, this is just ho-cation dick!
What am I supposed to tell B.D.?
Tell him I said, "goodbye."
You sure, Bee? I love you so much, Bee.
Me a-take you to meet me fambly.
Oh, there's a lot of women and children here.
It reminds me of my Whorephanage.
I'm gonna fit right in. But who's this ho?
It is a pleasure to meet Bob's dear, sweet mother.
Oh, no, no, no. Rita is my empress.
- It's me wife. - Wife?
Wife, like in "wife," like married wife?
Rita, my newest baby. This Honey Bee.
Oh, so you are the woman Bob is cheating on the woman
he's cheating on me with?
Cindy, say hi to Honey Bee.
My name is Cindy Breakspeare,
former miss world and Bob's number-one woman after Rita.
Uh, I ain't a English major, but wouldn't that
- make you number two? - Oh, you're wrong, child.
That would mean there's someone before me after Rita,
and there is no one before me after Rita except me.
Okay, beauty queen who can't count.
- Daddy! Daddy! - Papa! Papa!
- Daddy! - Uh, "daddy"?
I can't. I think I need some antibiotics. Ooh!
This is our last door.
Man, we could have avoided this entire situation.
Next time, we sending the Johns with the whores on ho-cation.
Okay, we got two choices.
One, we give them Cream Corn, or two, we pretend to be horny
zombies so they don't do whatever horny zombies do
- to people who ain't horny zombies. - For some reason,
I like number two better than number one.
- How do we do it? - Alright. Remember their faces?
Their eyes are vacant with a hint of sadness,
like a man who ain't had no [bleep] in years.
- Cream Corn, you just act normal. - I can definitely do that.
I can't believe I'm saying this, and what I'm saying I damn-sure
can't believe, but I'm-a need you to get your dicks hard.
- Huh? - Look, the only way to pull
the wool over their vacant eyes is with your morning glory.
We want every part of the whores!
I need hoes up under me! I know you got 'em!
Me no know why you upset. Me tell you I was taking you
- to meet me fambly. - You didn't tell me
you were married with kids. How many girlfriends do you
- have, huh, Mr. Giant Spliff? - Well, the Bible say,
"be fruitful and multiply," and it easier to multiply if you
have more than one woman to be fruitful with.
Oh, it's like you slept with
- the whole damn island! - No, no, baby.
I not an animal like that. Only the female half.
Ooh, I better not have caught nothing!
Look, baby love, let's have this conversation later.
I'm gonna be late for the one love peace concert.
Okay, next time, I'm going to the peaceful half of Jamaica.
- Does this mean you not stay? - I do want to stay, Bob,
but I don't know if I can do all that number one to the two
and two to the one or the four to five ... however y'all do
all that [bleep] and what the [bleep] is up with
all these assassination attempts?
Assassination attempts always pick up before a big concert.
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
- Okay, I'm ready. - I can't tell. Here. Use this.
Meet me by the car when we get out.
We need whores!
The white bitch.
So, if it isn't the darker
light-skinned tramp Bob's been sleeping with.
Uh, hey, Becky, or whatever your name is,
- why are you trying to kill Bob? - I've had me eye on you
ever since you come to Jamaica.
Bob was mine... and all the other women in Jamaica,
but now it's all about you. You the only one he seems
to want, and he gave you my nickname, "Baby."
You crazy bitch. Everyone calls everyone "baby."
I ought to slap the [bleep] out of you!
You think that's me only machete, you light dark bitch?
Look, I don't care how many machetes you got ...
Wait. What'd you call me?
- Wait now, mon. - Why your hair never come off?
- My titty! - Aah!
Fake-ass jamaican bitch. Ugh.
I'm almost done packing so we can go back to hope road.
Me had a talk with Cindy. She still want to kill
you, but every lickle thing's gonna be all right.
Good. Now come over and give me
- that tuff gong. - Okay, but me want you meet
someone first. Tis is Yvette, who me just met
on me way up here. She's me new number one
- to me number one. - What?!
Okay, now, this is some bull[bleep].
So let me guess ... I'm supposed to be your number two?
I done got shot at, jumped off of mountains and [bleep].
- Oh, you got me [bleep] up. - No, no, you never be
number two. It just means you're just not
- number one. - I know you're a good
person that truly does not understand how this kind
of [bleep] would make a bitch kill you, but I can't do this, Bob.
- You... I-I'm going home. - I get it.
- Me understand. Respect. - Respect?
That's it? What happened to, "get up, stand up,
don't give up the fight"? Where's the fight for me, Bob?
You know what? Y'all get the [bleep] out of here
before I kill you, her, number three, four, five, six,
and every other bitch with a damn number.
Get the [bleep] out!
"Dicksidental"? What the hell is a dicksidental?
$5,000? All we had was some hot dogs
- and some nuts! - That, and you got a whole lot
of room service from Dexter, Saint, Jacques.
Says here you had the Blue Mountain Dew Me, several
Alabama Rude Boy Slammers, the two girls, one [bleep] sex
literally on the beach, et cetera, et cetera.
You mean Dexter, Saint, Jacques are he-whores?
Maybe we should have been sucking and [bleep] for money.
Then we'd be able to afford all the sucking and [bleep] we did.
Bob, if you love her, why you let her go?
She saved me life. She deserve a man who will be
totally dedicated, love, and cherish her, and, most
important, won't make her cut off him penis.
Honey Bee, are you gonna be all right?
I'll be fine.
Ooh, but I don't know how my [bleep]'s gonna live without him.
- Whores! - Give us brains!
When we get to the top, pull up the ladder
so they can't follow us. You dig?
Whoa! Whoa! Help, Black Dynamite!
Because if I get turned into one of them, I'm-a get you, too.
Cream Corn, shut up before they put
- something in your mouth. - It's too late!
Aw [bleep]. Aah-suey!
Hey, y'all! The hoes is back!
Hoes to the left of me!
Honey Bee, you're back!
- I-I mean, Honey Bee, you back. - You know I'm
- a make back my $5,000. - Damn.
- It's like a hero whores welcome. - Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about. We home now!
Ahh. It's good to be number one again.
Oh. Oh, well, at least I know that's
- not a spliff in your pocket. - I don't know
what that means, Honey Bee, but I am happy you decided
- to come home early. - Oh, that's so sweet.
I mean, but who wouldn't be happy to see a plane
full of hoes coming back from Jamaica when they
surrounded by a bunch of zombie Johns with erections?
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
Well, I have determined that you whores are all whored out.
Oh, and, uh, this one's on me.
♪ Dynamite! Dynamite! ♪
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~