Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen. www.addic7ed.com
who's ready to play zombietown?
I figured out a way to play so the zombies
and the humans can live in peace.
- That is awesome. - I know.
I'm quite the humanitarian.
Sorry, I'm talking to Meadow.
Of course. Meadow.
Who else do you ever talk to these days?
I bet it looks amazing.
She's at the salon getting highlights for our
team yearbook photo.
Well, whoopdi-doodlie-doo.
I'll see you tonight when you come over to watch the movie.
We're still dressing up as the characters, right?
You're so hilarious.
She's so hilarious.
[Mocking laugh]
Hang up.
Okay, I'll see you then.
Tonight, Meadow and I are watching this crazy movie
about two best friends who are half cat, half mermaid.
It's called "purrmaids."
Wow.
So, you ready for a game of zombietown?
[Grunting] Let's play!
Oh, my gosh, I gotta remember to do that for Meadow later.
She does this one impression where...
I think we've established she's hilarious.
What does that mean?
It means, all I've been hearing about all the time
is Meadow, Meadow, Meadow.
Seems like lately we've barely been able to hang out.
What? We hang out.
Really? Let's look at the facts.
This is the time you've spent with Meadow
over the past two weeks, and this is the time
you've spent with me, and this...
Is the time you've spent looking at this chart.
Well, if that's the case, then prepare to make
that Miles wedge a whole lot bigger 'cause I'm about
to take you down to zombietown.
Awesome. Uh, here.
You're the girl with just a torso.
Oh, my gosh!
Don't worry, you can earn your legs.
Meadow, your hair!
Meadow.
I was so excited, I had to show you.
I love it. It looks so different.
No, it doesn't. It's a stupid blue stripe.
It's not too crazy?
It's just the right amount of crazy.
That's what the color is called!
"Just the right amount of crazy."
Come look at it in the sunlight.
Now I see why zombies eat people.
"Oh, no, not my blue hair!"
[Whimpers]
[Spooky rock music]
♪ If you move in to a haunted house ♪
♪ you've gotta try to work things out ♪
♪ so if you're living with a ghost or three ♪
Both: ♪ you gotta be one big, semi-scary family ♪
♪ don't know how we ended up this way ♪
♪ but I guess you can call us the haunted hathaways ♪
♪ the haunted hathaways ♪
♪
♪ the haunted hathaways ♪
Have you guys seen all my silverware?
You might want to ask him.
[Screams] Louie, that is not funny!
Tell them they need to dismantle fork-enstein.
I apologize if that's not your real name.
Why am I even talking to you?
Whoa, Louie, you're doing this?
That is totally... Inappropriate.
Don't worry. I've got complete control.
I'll just send him back in the kitchen.
Oops. Mmhmm.
Okay, every piece of silverware we own just
ran out the front door.
We could always...
We are not going to eat with our feet.
I have had it with you two.
Today it's silverware, yesterday it was a ferret
in the tip jar.
The rabies test came back negative.
Thanks for asking.
Every day it's something different with you kids.
Is this about what I put in your saxophone?
What? Ooh!
Okay, I think we need more rules around here.
More rules? But I can barely
remember the ones that I'm not following now.
Yeah, maybe jot them down for us, we'll give them
a look-see, and next week, we can start a dialogue.
I am done dialoguing. I am dictating.
As long as you live under our roof,
you've got to stop driving us crazy.
- You're right, mom. - You're darn right, I'm right.
- We're moving out. - What?
Yeah, we are. Where are you going with this?
Louie and I are moving into my tree house...
Where no one thinks we drive them crazy.
Come on. Yeah, we're outta here!
You have cable, right?
Laters!
I still can't get over how good your hair looks.
You're gonna totally stand out in the team photo on Monday.
You should get something done too.
You'd look awesome with highlights.
Yeah? I have always wanted to try it.
[Grunting]
I'm so glad we're still talking about hair.
Do you really think I should get highlights?
Definitely! I'll text my stylist
to see if she can squeeze you in.
Uh, Taylor, remember me?
The guy you're supposed to be eating brains with?
I'm sorry. I'll be there in just a minute.
You're in! My stylist, indigo,
can take you in 15 minutes. Yes!
And it only takes about three hours.
- Perfect. - Are you kidding me?
Okay, I've gotta get home to work on my "purrmaids" costume.
I'm dressing up as kitty fishbottom.
"Half cat, half fish, all trouble."
I'm so sorry, Miles.
We can play zombietown tomorrow,
but yearbook photos are forever.
I promise we'll hang out soon.
Why does it take somebody all afternoon
just to do your hair?
Meadow recommends this person and I completely trust her.
So... you completely trust Meadow, huh?
I think she just found a faster way to highlight your hair.
So you'll have plenty of time to play zombietown
with your good friend, Miles.
[As miles] That is a great idea, Meadow.
[As meadow] Why, thank you, I...
[As miles] Okay, getting weird.
[As miles] Ugh, how do girls walk in these things?
Hey, Taylor?
[As meadow] I mean, hey, Taylor?
Oh, yeah, my stupid streak.
Hey, I'm just on my way to see indigo.
What are you doing here?
I realized there's a cheaper,
faster way to do your hair.
You don't have to spend three hours in a salon
to get salon-quality hair.
You think I should dye my own hair?
I don't know. Are you kidding?
You listen to every stupid thing I say.
I mean... you do completely trust me, right?
Of course.
Plus, if you don't waste the entire day
in a dumb salon, you'll have plenty of time
to do cool stuff with other people.
- Okay, I'll do it. - Great.
I'll see you tonight for "purrdogs."
"Purrdogs"? "Purrmaids."
You're so hilarious. I'm really not.
So stop saying that.
Miles Preston, you are a genius.
- This is going to be great! - I know.
Mom and ray think we're hard to live with.
They're the ones who are hard to live with.
And this tree house is way cooler
than their regular, boring house.
Surround sound, big-screen TV,
and daily visits from delightful songbirds.
I mean... [Tough voice]
And daily visits from delightful songbirds!
Nice save.
The best part about tree living?
No rules and no parents!
- Knock, knock. - Hey, hey, hey!
Oh, look. It's the nosy neighbors.
If you came to beg us to come home, don't bother.
Okay, but you might find living together isn't as easy
as you think, right, ray?
Ha ha!
Got all of that one! Whoo!
I mean, Michelle's right.
It can be a real strain living in such close quarters.
In fact, I bet you don't last 24 hours.
Oh, yeah? Why don't you meet us here
24 hours from now for dinner
so we can celebrate how wrong you were?
Yeah, and for dessert,
we'll have an in-your-face souffle.
And maybe some lemon squares.
We would love to come to dinner.
Mainly because we don't have any silverware.
See you then. Okay, Michelle.
You take care now.
- Ray! - I mean, right behind you.
I mean, how many times do I have to tell you,
no hitting golf balls in the tree house?
- They're gone! - Let's get this party started!
[Upbeat music plays]
This is awesome! We can do anything we want.
Hey, make it snow. You got it.
One snowstorm coming up!
Marshmallows? Even better!
Yeah! I'm making a huge mess
and I'm not going to clean it up, yeah!
Both: Yeah!
Ain't no party like a tree house party...
Both: 'Cause a tree house party don't stop!
Word!
[Both shouting]
Ooh, good news. A family of humans
is taking you in for the night.
Remember, if you eat one of them, you lose a turn.
It's worth it for the brains. [Groans]
- See, this is fun, right? - Mm-hmm.
[Timer beeps] Oh!
Time to reveal my gorgeous highlights.
[Grunting] Brb.
Oh, I love it when a plan comes together.
[Screams] My hair is ruined!
Look at me.
It's so hard to.
I have a yearbook photo in less than two days.
And those photos last forever.
I don't know why I listened to Meadow.
Because you trust her advice?
Does this look like good advice?
It really, really doesn't.
Hey, tay, I'm here. It's movie...
What did you do to your hair?
Exactly what you told me to do.
Indigo did that to you?
Taylor, look! It's bigfoot on a pogo stick.
[Bigfoot growls]
I didn't go to indigo because you told me to do it myself.
- What? - Is that a hip-hop pilgrim?
Come on, Meadow, don't act like this wasn't your idea.
It wasn't my idea.
Oh, my goodness, a British nanny juggling lobsters?
What?
Taylor, I never told you to do that.
Um, you kinda did.
- Uh, I kinda didn't. - Yeah, you kinda did.
Are you kinda saying that I'm lying?
Kinda.
I'm kinda enjoying this pilgrim.
Anyone else?
You know what? I kinda feel like going.
Then maybe you kinda should.
I can't believe she's totally denying everything.
I thought we were friends. Who does that?
How would I know?
Guess you don't have to worry about seeing
Meadow around here anymore.
I'm just going to ignore whatever this is.
What have I done?
I destroyed Taylor's hair and her friendship with Meadow.
Miles bad.
Uh-oh!
[Phone rings]
Not now, pretty songbirds.
[Phone continues ringing]
My stomach.
That ninth fried cheese-doodle burrito
may have been a mistake.
[Phone continues ringing]
What time is it?
3:00.
Both: 3:00? - Our parents!
Dinner! [Phone continues ringing]
Where is the phone?
Oh, here.
Frankie and Louie's tree.
Michelle: Hey, it's us. We just want to make sure
we're still on for dinner.
Ray: Unless you guys have changed your mind.
No way, we're totally ready.
Dinner's cooking now. Smells delicious.
Frankie, can you help me with the sauce?
I think it needs more tacos.
See you soon.
We've got two hours to get ready.
I'm taking charge. Why you?
Because I don't waste time with stupid questions.
I'll start cooking. You clean up this mess.
I see you're also in charge of nagging.
- What's that? - I said I like your hair.
Miles... thanks for watching "purrmaids" with me.
What are friends for?
Listen, there's something I need to tell you.
I can't believe it took two hours to get my hair
back to normal.
And Meadow still hasn't texted to apologize.
Sometimes it's really hard to say you're sorry.
Speaking of that, I'm sorry for not hanging out
with you when I promised I would.
I'm lucky to have a friend like you.
An honest friend I can trust. A friend who...
Is trying to watch this movie...
Ms. jibber jabber.
You're right. This is where kitty tells
the super cute fisherman who she really is.
I should have told you this long ago.
I'm a mermaid and a cat.
Phew! That felt good. Not being truthful
to a good friend is a tremendous burden.
We get it, kitty! The truth is important.
And a true friend does what's best for the friendship,
no matter how difficult or inconvenient.
I can't take it anymore!
It was me.
I made myself look like Meadow
and told you to dye your own hair
so we could have time to hang out.
I'm so sorry. What?
Are you kidding me?
I can't believe you would do this.
Because of you, I called Meadow a liar.
In my defense...
No, I've got nothing.
I didn't think you'd actually let me finish that sentence.
I've gotta apologize.
Thank you, but it's really not...
Not to you, to Meadow.
But how do I explain this? I don't think,
"the ghost I live with impersonated you,"
is gonna cut it.
I've got to fix this.
[Screams] Ugh, stupid fish tail!
Aw, what's that smell?
Dinner.
It's nice.
Would you tuck in your shirt? They'll be here any minute.
I told you, I can't make armpit noises
when my shirt's tucked in.
Which you used to think was funny.
I don't see why they can't come next week.
You know your mother drives me nuts.
We're not having this conversation again.
Of course not. Whenever I bring it up,
you shut me down. Here we go again.
[Overlapping shouting]
- Hey, guys! - We're here!
Louie, look who it is.
Oh, boy, welcome to our home.
Refreshing cup of hose water?
Ooh...
Uhh... that is not clear at all.
But you two are quite the hosts.
Yeah, I thought by now you'd be driving each other crazy.
Glad to see there are no problems.
Problems? The only problem I have
with this one is how much fun he is.
Oh, you. We sure do like to laugh
around here, don't we?
Yes.
Thanks for hopping over.
It's a little joke to break the ice.
Anyhoo.
Well, I said I'd come over and I'm not a liar.
I'm sorry. This was all my fault.
I totally misunderstood your advice.
How did you get "dye your own hair"
from me telling you to go to the salon?
See, there's this, um... I have this...
We could get bogged down with specifics,
but I think the important thing here is that I've apologized.
We good?
That's the worst apology I have ever heard.
See ya, Taylor.
It's just really complicated.
[As miles] Tap out.
[Gasps] What am I doing?
I mean, what are you doing?
Trust me, I got this.
[As taylor] Meadow, wait!
What I was trying to say is... I made a huge mistake
and really hurt my best friend.
I don't have a good explanation for what I did, but..
I should have just been honest with you.
You're really important to me and if you could forgive me,
I promise to be a better friend.
[Sighs] Of course I forgive you.
And I'm glad we're friends again.
Hug! Look, Harry styles
giving away cupcakes? Where?
Uh, never mind, it was just a parking meter.
Hey, you wanna stay and watch "purrmaids"?
[Gasps] Just give me a minute
to go get my cat ears.
- Thanks for what you said. - Of course.
And don't worry. I get that you're excited
about having a new friend.
I'll try to be more understanding.
But I love hanging out with you too.
So I'm going to make sure I don't miss out on that either.
In the meantime, can you get rid of those guys?
[Upbeat music]
They're really freaking me out.
♪
More beef jerky and marshmallow fluff casserole?
It's my specialty.
Can you call it your specialty
if it's the only thing you make?
It's delicious.
[Snaps] Oh.
Okay, we're not leaving until you give us this recipe.
It's beef jerky and marshmallows.
[Crunches]
What's the crunch coming from?
That could be anything.
[Gags]
Speaking of awesome, I was playing "ponies vs. Aliens"
the other day and this huge... Louie...
Nobody wants to hear yet another story about "ponies vs. Aliens."
[Mocking laugh] Then tell your tarantula joke again.
Maybe it'll get a laugh this time.
Sorry, Louie's a little tired, which is strange
because he didn't lift a finger to help with dinner.
Hmm.
Francesca, may I see you over at the hot plate?
Hold on just a moment. Enjoy your meal.
You're embarrassing me in front of our guests.
I'm embarrassing you?
Your opening toast was a fart.
Sounds like trouble in paradise.
Should we go? No, I'm enjoying this.
This is the part where I get to say, "I told you so."
I mean, I think the children are learning their lesson.
What is this dessert supposed to be?
They're not gonna eat this.
They've shoveled down everything else
I put in front of them.
They're trying so hard.
What do you say we let them off the hook?
Ugh, fine, I can't eat any more of this.
That's because you cleaned your plate.
I have a sweet tooth!
- Let me carry it out. - I can do it.
Dessert is... oh.
Don't worry... These things happen.
More to me than most.
We actually should be going.
But first, we owe you two an apology.
You aren't driving each other crazy at all.
Glad we made our point.
This may be the hose water talking,
but you two have totally made this work.
In fact, you get along so well, I think you guys
should live out here forever.
Forever?
That's a long time.
Sure is. Anyway, lovely evening.
Take care now.
Well, I guess we showed them, huh?
Now we can stay in the tree house.
Yep. For as long as we want.
I can't do this anymore. I wanna go home.
Movies and television have really glamorized
tree house living.
I'm sorry about before.
Me too. Maybe they were right about us
being a little hard to live with.
We shouldn't be driving each other crazy.
Yeah, we should be working together
to drive our family crazy.
Let's go home.
Should we clean all this up?
Probably, but wouldn't it be more annoying
to leave it for my mom?
I've missed this. We're back, baby!
[Imitates flatulence with armpit]
The fish in me wants to stay.
"Purrmaids" is not doing it for me.
Nothing blows up in this movie.
How can Taylor watch this garbage?
I don't know what's happening.
You see, she's half cat, half... ugh, who cares?
It's half over.
Can we have the remote back now?
[Sobbing]
You know they got cable in the tree house.
Laters!