Previously on "Black Box"...
Know that new hostess at the restaurant? I slept with her.
No. It's over.
I hope you can handle that.
You know, I can't stop thinking about last time.
It will never happen again.
- You ever been to the moon, Leo? - Of course.
Where do you think I landed after the Challenger exploded?
Leo has a brain tumor,
whether we want to see it or not.
There could be memory loss.
That'd be a disaster to this kid.
I need a clip now.
Stable.
Bick is truly amazing, isn't he?
Yeah. He is... amazing.
And that was "Traffic On The Eights" here at WXOX,
New York City's number-one jazz destination.
Next up is the great jazz pianist Hunter Black
with the classic, "After You've Gone."
♪ After you've gone ♪
♪ And left me crying ♪
♪ After you've gone ♪
♪ There's no denying ♪
♪ You'll feel blue ♪
♪ You'll feel sad ♪
Do you like your daddy's song?
♪ You'll miss the best pal that you ever had ♪
♪ Someday ♪
♪ When you'll grow lonely ♪
♪ Your heart will break like mine ♪
♪ And you'll want me only ♪
♪ After you've gone ♪
♪ Away ♪
♪ After you've gone ♪
♪ And left me crying ♪
Excuse me. Would you mind turning that off, please?
- Sure. - Thank you.
♪ There's no denying ♪
I want to thank you for helping us with this, Dr. Black.
Tell me, how long were they treating him for?
On and off for a year.
Nothing seemed to help.
There's always something else to try.
Thank you, doctor.
We'll be in touch.
This is one of our finest soldiers,
and he's suffering terribly.
I assure you he will get my full attention.
I appreciate that.
Okay.
Captain Moran,
can you raise your right arm for me, please?
Yes, ma'am.
All right, that was easy.
Now your left.
Okay, that's a lot of pain.
Yes, ma'am.
So, I'm gonna touch it
very gently, okay?
Four tours of service.
I've taken live fire for days.
I was wounded twice by small-arms fire...
Got the Purple Heart to prove it.
And I'm crippled by something that isn't even real.
No, it's real.
Up to 80% of people with amputations
have phantom sensations where their missing limb was.
It must be in my head.
No. What you're feeling, it isn't imaginary.
The pain comes from signals that originate in your brain and your spinal cord
as if your limb is still there.
It's real.
May I?
No, thank you.
This has been really hard on my marriage.
My poor wife didn't sign up for a life
with a guy who can barely put on his shirt.
Let alone be touched.
I'm sure it's been terrible for both of you.
I barely sleep.
I feel useless when I'm awake.
I can't think right.
I would rather have died in Afghanistan than be living like this.
We're gonna fix this.
Synced by emmasan www.addic7ed.com
It's really cold out here.
Sure this is a good idea?
Could've stayed and talked at your parents' place.
Are you kidding? I've been trapped there all week.
My mom's driving me insane.
If she asks me one more time,
"how are you feeling? Is your memory back?
Do you remember what you had for breakfast?"
I'll jump out the window.
Okay, well, what about your dad?
He's all over me, too.
God forbid I should've lost a step of my game
because I had brain surgery.
I'm sure they're just worried about you.
Yeah.
So, when do you think you can move back into your place?
Most likely this weekend.
And Monday I'll be back at the Cube.
Aren't you rushing it?
It's only been eight days since you had surgery.
I have to get back.
You can't lose a day on the neurosurgery track without falling behind.
Can I see your scar?
No.
- Why not? - 'Cause I hate it.
It makes me feel like a freak.
Can I feel your burr hole?
I didn't know you felt that way about me. Yeah.
Your burr hole, silly.
You know what that is, right?
The skull is so hard, a traditional incision with a scalpel is impossible,
- So a burr hole is drilled... - No, I know what a burr hole is.
Thank you very much. I was just distracted.
All right.
It's late. I got to go.
- Hey, look, I'm sorry. - No.
It's all gonna come back. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Your subway's that way.
No need to walk me back.
I'll see you, uh... I'll see you Wednesday.
You mean Monday.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Monday.
You all good?
All good. Thanks, Harry.
So, how we doing?
That was one hell of a review you got in the New York Magazine.
Mm, yeah. Time out was good, too.
But I won't be happy until you tell me we're finally in the black.
Ah, man, I'm not worried about it.
Tables are booked solid, even Tuesday nights.
I'm thinking of scaring up more coin by opening for Sunday brunch.
Mimosas. Ka-ching. I love it.
Hey, tell me about that sexy new hostess.
I mean, she seems to be quite an asset...
Legs for miles, perfect...
Yeah, about Delilah. I'm letting her go.
- What? Aw, man! - Dude, I don't want to get into it,
but she's trouble.
You figured that out a little bit too late, my man.
Can't fire her now. You slept with her.
Where did you hear that?
She told me.
Unbelievable.
Why would she do that?
- Probably so we'd have this conversation. - Yeah, right.
See, if you fire her after you nail her, she can sue.
If she does, this dream of yours...
Vapor.
How do I get out of this?
Uh...
She'd have to do something really bad that's work-related.
She's got you by the nuts, man.
Which is probably where you were
when she got you to say you loved her.
I never said I loved her. Never.
"He said, she said," man. Her word against yours.
Hello, Ms. King. I'm Dr. Black.
So, I hear you took a header off a mountain.
Call me Beatrice. Yes, Mt. Katahdin in Maine.
I-I feel lucky to be alive.
I went with an organization called Travel Without Barriers.
I'm just gonna take a look into your eye if that's okay.
They help people with physical challenges live adventurous lives.
How long have you had macular degeneration?
Uh, four years.
I still see shapes, light, shadows,
but I-I'm legally blind.
And how'd you fall?
I thought I could make my way back at night from the campsite
to a stash of chocolate bars in the follow car.
That's totally understandable.
So you, uh...
You had a mild concussion, a broken arm...
All taken care of.
So why are you seeing me?
Since the fall,
I can see things.
Not all the time, but often.
And I see them quite clearly in living color,
like a big-screen movie, only they aren't really there.
What kind of things?
Well...
Right now...
I see a snow leopard.
I want to see a snow leopard.
Maybe you can if you fall off a mountain.
I'm guessing you want a psych eval?
Yeah, and a tox screen, please,
and an MRI and a C.T.
- I'll tell Lina. - Thank you.
Hey.
Morning.
Wait. What are you doing?
I just needed a moment to talk.
Well, you know where my office is.
- What happened between us a few weeks ago - Bick.
- You know, I'm just tired of pretending - No, it was...
it didn't happen.
It was meaningless sex.
Really?
See, I can't stop thinking about you.
I can't forget what it felt like to be with you,
and I don't think that you've forgotten, either.
I've told you plenty of times
- I have a fianc? - You're engaged to a cook.
- His name is Will. - I don't care.
If you are serious about this man
and you feel nothing for me,
why do you want me to touch you again?
- I don't. - You do.
Aw, man. That was great.
- Yeah. - It was amazing.
- What is it? - It's a song that I, uh...
She wrote it all herself... entire thing.
- Really? - Mmhmm.
Thank you.
How's your new school?
It's great. Yeah.
Um... the other kids are a little bit intimidating,
but I'm learning so much.
I'm gonna see if I can help Reagan.
You are great.
Play something else.
Reagan, thank you. That was delicious.
This wine's amazing.
It's a 2007 Pinot from a tiny boutique vineyard in Sonoma.
- I raided the restaurant's wine cellar. - Yeah, she did.
You can't buy it commercially. It's not at any store.
- How did you even know about it? - Thank you.
I met the owner when I trained to be a master sommelier.
Well, for the record,
my glass of 2014 sparkling cider is epic.
Hey, I can't believe I'm getting a brother
who's a great chef, master sommelier...
And a guy I can trust with my sister.
So if I haven't made it clear already,
welcome to the family.
Here, here.
Thank you.
So, are you coming to grandpa's show on Friday night?
I don't know. Are we?
Hunter's in town. He's playing at The Bitter End.
Yeah, I know. I'm aware of that.
Dad got us all tickets.
Did you?
Yeah. Please say you'll both come.
It would be so much more fun if we could all go together.
Did I miss something? Did we talk about this?
I don't remember.
Esme thought it would be a good idea.
She wants to see her grandfather perform,
and Will needs to meet his future father-in-law.
Well, I think that's up to me to decide, actually.
Dad asked specifically if you would come.
Why would I want to see him?
He left us the day of mom's funeral.
Have you got amnesia?
I'm sorry, dad.
I thought if I suggested it, it wouldn't be a big deal.
It's okay, honey. It's just...
Next time, leave it to me.
Hunter had to spend most of his life in Europe
because he's a jazz musician... Europeans love jazz.
He's a star over there. It's where he can make a living.
I heard it's a little more complicated than that.
That depends on who tells the story.
I'm sorry she sprang that on you.
Why would you let her think that I would see him?
We all hoped you'd give him a chance. He's changed.
You've seen him?
Yes, and he wants to be a family again.
He walked out on us. Why would you expose Esme to a man like that?
- Reagan's father isn't alive anymore. - He will do her...
- This is the only grandfather she has. - ...exactly what he did to us.
- She wants to see him, and I'm tired of feeling... - He will just get up
- and disappear out of our life. - I need to know my father.
Dad?
Your mom loved you kids so much.
I hope you know that.
Hey, come here.
I can't do this alone. I'll have no life.
Look, I am willing to take them.
I'm broke. I need to make a living.
I know. So what are you gonna do?
- I have no other choice. - All right, well, then, these are your children.
- You make the choice. - You know, I-I-I've had this.
I've have enough of this. I'm leaving.
Daddy!
It's okay, sweetheart.
It's okay. We're gonna stay right here.
He went right out on tour the day of her funeral...
As if we never existed.
She killed herself and he left.
Within a year, he'd moved to France.
Our aunt Sissy, she...
She pretty much raised us.
She had her hands full with me.
But you did see him sometimes?
Yeah, Christmas. Mmhmm.
Week or two, summer vacation.
He'd, uh...
He'd blow into town with gifts we didn't want.
And within a day, he'd be gone again.
Am I so wrong...
To not want him in my life?
He played no part in my past.
Why should I have him in my future?
Thank you for doing this with me.
I really want to get in shape.
Before my eyes got so bad, I-I used to jog.
The elevator's right this way.
Wait.
It is so beautiful up here.
Up here?
On the mountaintop.
You see a mountaintop?
I know it's not real,
but I see it clearly, like a movie.
Are you frightened?
No.
I'm happy.
Well, let's stay here a while so you can enjoy it.
Can we?
I don't see the harm.
I wish I could see the mountaintop.
So, we need to find a solution for Captain Moran's phantom limb pain.
He doesn't deserve to suffer.
When did it happen?
It's been a year.
When phantom limb pain lasts more than six months,
the prognosis is poor.
Let's start by being positive, shall we?
I could try stump-revision surgery,
work on the neuroma, implant a stimulator.
V.A. Already did all that.
Vascular surgeon worked on improving the blood flow,
and it didn't do a thing. How about prescribing anticonvulsants...
- Done. - ...Opioid drugs,
- or antidepressants? - Done and done.
Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation?
That's a great idea, but he wore that device for six months...
didn't do anything.
What do we know about the event that caused the injury?
He lost his arm trying to save his best friend from a burning tank.
Did his friend make it?
No.
Then his pain could be partially psychosomatic,
caused by repressed memory of the incident,
- and survivor guilt. - Okay, that's absurd.
Since traditional analysis is the one avenue we haven't tried,
we have no choice but to explore it.
It's a mistake.
- Dr. Black. - Not now, Ali.
Please. It's important. It's about Leo.
Okay, walk with me. I saw him yesterday.
- Doesn't he have a post-op with Bickman today? - Yes.
Well, you should talk with him. He's his doctor.
Dr. Bickman is a brilliant surgeon,
but he... he's not exactly long on tact.
He's going to discover that Leo still has some deficits...
In his memory, I mean... and I'm afraid
he'll be too hard on him and take away Leo's hope.
What do you mean by "deficits"?
He didn't know what a burr hole was and he messed up the days of the week.
Patients who have brain surgery...
They're going to be disoriented.
They're gonna be confused.
You know this. It's to be expected.
But...
He's gonna be okay, right? His memory will come back.
There are no guarantees,
but without the surgery, be clear, he would be dead.
It's too early to worry.
I'll check in with him after he sees Bickman, okay?
Hey, tiger. How you feeling?
Let's see. I've been waiting for an hour.
Obviously, your time's a lot more important than mine.
I'm bored to death.
Otherwise, I'm perfect.
Well, welcome to the other side of the white coat.
You did a great job.
Now, I want you to sign whatever it is you have to sign
so I can get back to school.
On the plus side, apart from diabetes insipidus,
I'm pleased you aren't experiencing
any of the other common complications
associated with craniopharyngioma.
Me too.
Tell me what those might be.
What is this? A spot quiz?
You said you were more than ready.
Craniopharyngioma... complications.
- What are you writing down? - None of your business.
"None of my business"? That's my file.
Is there anything in the world that's more my business?
I wrote down "argumentative" if you must know.
Now, because of the excellent and timely care that you've received,
a few of the other possible complications that you did not experience
are central hypothyroidism, visual field deficits,
and hyperphagia, which is...
Hyperphagia... uh, it's, um...
Super... uh... phagia.
Compulsive overeating.
- You need a baseline memory test. - My memory's perfect.
So you'll ace it.
I'm gonna say 10 words. Now, listen carefully.
When I'm done, I want you to repeat as many back to me as you can.
- You ready? Here we go. - Mmhmm.
Bridge, door,
apple, school,
rose, cow,
boat, dawn,
anchor, sky.
Go on.
Anchor.
Goat.
A normal person remembers five.
You got one. Two.
I said "boat," not "goat."
I misheard.
This isn't fair. Give me another chance.
Oh, we'll keep testing at intervals,
but in the meantime... you can't come back.
And if your memory remains this impaired,
I'm afraid the neurosurgery track is off the table.
Leo, can I have a word with you in my office, please?
- See you, champ! - Leo.
- What did you do? - What?
What did you say to him?
Nothing. The truth.
Which is?
Well, if his memory problems persist,
he may have to make other plans for his future.
You insensitive bastard.
You were the one that advocated radical surgery
because you thought you were so perfect.
And it turns out that you're not.
And now he's having some troubles
and you throw his entire future under the bus?
- You want to do this in front of everyone here? - You know, I mean,
with all his attitude and his bravado,
he's just a scared kid
who wants more than anything to be just like you.
You're his hero, and you tear him down?
Emotions matter,
and so does kindness and decency and compassion.
If you can't feel,
then at least try and think before you speak.
'Cause if you fix his head and you break his heart,
you're a lousy man and you're a lousy doctor.
I can't tell you how much I like your outfit.
Very dashing.
Hello, Beatrice. How are you?
Oh, perfect. It's awful quiet in here.
Would you like the TV on?
Oh, no, thank you.
Let me know if you need anything.
Mm-hmm.
The fall didn't cause her hallucinations.
See, neurologically, it all looks fine.
Look here... periventricular hyperintensity on the F.L.A.I.R. Sequence.
That's very good. It's a nonspecific finding.
Although, that can be attributed to M.S.
She's so young.
Macular degeneration's enough to handle.
It could be an incidentaloma.
M.S. doesn't usually cause hallucinations.
I'll do an L.P. just to rule it out, though.
What about her psych eval?
No. Mahmoud cleared it already.
This is not psychiatric.
There's someone here to see you, Dr. Black.
- Who? - He wouldn't give me his name,
but he looked like some busted rock star.
Excuse me, Dr. Black.
Dr. Black told me that this isn't in my head,
- that this is a real, physical problem. - That's true.
You survived a traumatic event.
Few people come out of that unscathed.
Right.
All due respect, I don't have PTSD
if that's what you're talking about.
- I have a lot of buddies that do have PTSD, - Captain Moran,
- but I don't have P... - Let's go back in time for a moment
and talk about what happened that day.
Why? Why would we do that?
If you don't have PTSD, it shouldn't be a problem.
And maybe I can help you figure out
if there's something about this memory that you're suppressing.
My buddies are screaming...
Because they're burning alive, trapped in the tank.
My best friend Jack is a dad with two small kids.
Go on. What happened to Jack?
I couldn't save him.
I was supposed to be in his spot in the lead tank
But I was hungover.
I got there late,
so Jack took my spot in the turret.
I was in the follow car.
And when the fireball hit the tank, I ran.
Saved myself.
I was numb, overwhelmed with guilt.
Were you hoping to hear something like that?
- Is that what happened? - No.
Here's the truth.
Jack was hungover. I was fine.
Nobody took anybody's spot.
It was just random bad luck that he was where he was,
and I nearly died trying to save him.
I was able to save five of my other buddies.
I burned my arm so bad in the process that I lost it.
As terrible as that day was, I am proud of my actions.
I got a medal. I got a pain that won't quit.
And that's got nothing to do with regret
or suppressed memory or guilt
or anything else and...
Thank you for your help,
but I need to focus on something that can work.
I'm sorry, but that stuff makes me nuts.
I-I don't even know what she wants.
I... talking isn't fixing anything.
I understand.
If this is where we've gotten to,
then I guess I just need to find
some other way to get on with my life.
I'm not giving up.
I just need a day to prepare for the next stage, okay?
Just promise me you'll come back and see me tomorrow.
- Okay? - Okay.
Easy.
What are you doing here?
I was afraid you were still mad at me.
I can't stay mad at you.
- Come here. - Sorry.
All right.
I should've never given Esme the idea that you'd go see dad.
That was wrong of me.
Is she okay?
She got a little upset when you left.
I'll call her.
It was rude of me. I'll apologize.
So, what's up?
I have a favor to ask.
Okay.
Need you to make me something. It's for a patient.
Hunter showed up at the hospital.
- Did you know that? - No, I didn't.
No sign of him for 10 years
and then he waltzes into the hospital, unannounced.
- What did he say? - I didn't talk to him.
How did all this start, anyway?
I mean, how did he get in contact with you?
He wrote a letter.
A beautiful letter.
Yeah.
He could always write.
Mainly, he was interested in Esme.
Okay, that's what I'm worried about.
Have you told her the truth?
Have you told her what he did that day?
Which truth?
Yours or mine?
Dad?
Hey, buddy, let me talk to your Aunt Sissy for a second, okay?
I can't stand it anymore. I got to get out of here.
- Are the kids packed? - I don't think they should go.
This is their house.
They've got their friends. They've got school.
No. I got to get back out on the road.
We're broke.
- Karina's medical bills from the last year alone... - I know.
I'll stay with them. I'm their aunt.
- I love them as if... - I'm their dad.
They need their dad... now more than ever.
It's what she would've wanted.
She never let them go out on the road. You know that.
You don't want to take this on.
Yes, I do. It's what's best for everyone.
For you, too.
You know that as well as I do.
What am I gonna tell them?
I'll handle it.
Just go. Quickly.
Make a clean break.
I love you, sweetie.
Daddy!
It's okay, sweetheart.
We're just gonna be here, okay? It's all right.
Memory is a funny thing.
I think you constructed that version
to make Hunter the father that you wish he was.
And I think you're way too hard on him.
- There are worse fathers. - How could he be worse?
He supported us. He put you through school.
His work made it possible for us to keep the house.
I live in it to this day because of him.
- And Sissy was a good mom. - She was not our mom.
Yes, she... well, she was a good parent.
Probably a better parent than he ever would've been.
Yeah, but it wasn't Sissy's job. It was his.
But I think he knew what he was doing.
He did the right thing by giving us to someone he could trust.
And that decision shouldn't be so difficult for you to understand.
I'm not Hunter. I'm nothing like him.
- I was 16 when I gave up Esme. - I didn't say it was the same.
And few parents live up to the ideal.
And memory, as you say, is complicated.
Even yours.
And what if my version is closer to the truth?
It's not.
Well, maybe.
Please, just think about joining us on Friday night.
See dad perform, maybe have dinner afterwards...
We'll be a family.
Thank you for this.
I'll call you.
Joshua's pressuring me to see Hunter.
I don't know.
Would you forgive your father if he came back?
If dad were to call me from the other side of the grave,
I'd probably hang up on him.
Kids are too tough on their parents.
Not that anyone asked me.
Harry knew my dad.
He probably knew every bartender in town.
He drank too much. Yeah.
But he was a very kind and generous man.
To you, maybe.
I was the kid he slapped around when he got home.
I wouldn't know about that,
but I can tell you this.
Long ago, I was going through some rough years,
trying to make ends meet.
Me and the wife were living on toast and baked beans.
But every Thanksgiving,
somebody would leave a turkey on the bar
big enough to feed my whole family.
One year, I go to the bar early,
I see your father sneaking in to leave the bird.
We gave thanks because of your dad.
I don't know what to do.
I can't make this decision for you.
I don't want to disappoint Esme or Joshua.
Of course, I don't.
But I've worked so hard to leave this man behind me.
I...
He hurt me. He wasn't there for me.
I just want to forget him.
Early on in my career,
when I still lived in London, I had a patient...
20 years old, depressed,
consumed with shame.
She told me, when she was 12,
her stepfather molested her.
And it was four years
before she got the courage to tell her mother.
When she did, the stepfather was sent to jail,
and he left the mother destitute.
I was a Freudian therapist then.
So I made my patient talk about the molestation...
How it happened, how she felt, and so on.
We delved into it endlessly.
Finally, one day,
she didn't show up for her appointment.
She was in the hospital.
She'd slit her wrists.
She'd almost killed herself.
That's awful.
Yes. I'd failed her.
So what I'm getting at here...
is that sometimes it is better to leave the past behind,
to live life forward.
What if my memories are false?
What if they're incomplete, like Will's?
What if...
What if I'm being too hard on him?
Well, the pain you felt when he left...
That was real.
So if seeing him brings it back,
that may not be such a good thing.
Josh thinks I should forgive him.
Can you?
I want to, but I'm too angry.
I'm angry for that little girl
who loved him so much.
So the question is,
what do you do with that anger?
Thank you for giving me another chance.
I'm gonna give you as many chances as you want, Dr. Black.
- You're my last hope. - Okay, sit down.
So, I've been thinking about chronic pain.
Once the neural pathways that send the signals
from the injury to the brain are formed, they're hard to break.
Well, how do you fix that?
You have to retrain the mind.
You have to interrupt those pain pathways.
Put your right arm in here, please.
And the left in this one.
Good.
Now, can you look in this mirror
and do this with your fist?
The pain's gone.
How is that possible?
You're seeing a reflection of the good hand
where the missing one once was, okay?
This is beautifully simple.
You're tricking the brain into thinking
that you still have a good arm.
When you do that, the pain is gone.
It's only temporary, huh?
It's gonna take time.
Every day, you're gonna have to practice with this box.
The brain will adjust,
and every day, the pain will grow less.
Beatrice, I'm so sorry to keep you waiting.
Not at all. How are you today?
Little anxious to go home, but otherwise, lovely.
Well, I'm happy to tell you that you can go home.
We've had all your test results back.
Everything is fine, including the spinal tap.
You do not have M.S.
Wonderful.
I have figured out what you do have, though,
by process of elimination.
It's called Charles Bonnet syndrome.
What is that?
In bonnet, the mind remembers that it used to see,
and it misses vision, it misses seeing.
So it creates all these images to fill the void.
The hallucinations can be very vivid
and they can be very beautiful.
So what you're saying is,
this isn't some disease we have to fix?
- This is... - It's a gift.
It's a beautiful gift.
Yes.
Dr. Bickman, this is Captain Moran.
Hey.
- I'm honored to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
Apparently, Dr. Bickman thinks
that the mirrored box is antique technology.
You play computer games, right?
Yeah. Armed services uses them for combat training.
So you'd be familiar with virtual-reality goggles like these.
Here, try them on.
I asked a friend of mine
to hack a popular gaming platform to build you this.
This wire sensor detects the position of your good arm
and shows it on the screen as if it were your missing arm.
So, like the box, it tricks the brain
into thinking that that phantom arm is intact.
- What do you think? - Amazing.
And better?
Way better.
5 out of 10.
Awesome! Okay!
Well within the normal range. Good.
You happy?
Did you arrange this?
Yeah, he's making progress.
If he works hard enough, who knows?
Well...
I'm proud of myself.
Really? And why's that?
Because I shamed you into it.
__
♪ There'll come a time ♪
♪ Now don't forget it ♪
♪ There'll come a time ♪
♪ When you regret it ♪
♪ Someday when you've grown lonely ♪
♪ Your heart will break like mine ♪
♪ And you'll want me only ♪
♪ After you've gone ♪
♪ After you've gone away ♪
Synced by emmasan www.addic7ed.com