Ow, ow, ow, ow!
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts!
Allie, she hasn't pierced your ear yet.
I know, but when she does, I wanna make sure I say the right thing.
I can't have the whole mall hear me yell out something stupid
like "Jiminy fudge nuggets."
Maybe you should just not say anything and squeeze my hand in
silent suffering.
Ooh, courageous yet dramatic.
I like it.
Oh!
Jiminy fudge nuggets!
Hey, that actually didn't hurt at all.
Speak for yourself.
I think you have some of my bone marrow under your nails.
Wow.
Just when I thought I couldn't look prettier, I do.
Now when I walk into Marissa's party tonight, it'll be:
"Goodbye, adorable Allie.
Hello, sophisticated Sally."
See, that's my name with a little extra "Ssss".
It does look pretty cool.
You have to do it too, Tess.
You'd look so great.
I want to, but I promised my Dad I wouldn't get my ears
pierced until I was fifteen.
And when did you make that promise?
When I was seven.
And when I was seven I promised my daddy I'd never love
anybody else as much as I loved him.
Then along came the Jo-Bros, Robert Pattinson and the Bieber,
and let's just say, promises were broken.
Your dad'll get over it.
Well, I guess asking couldn't hurt.
Owww!
But that does!
I thought you said it wasn't so bad.
It wasn't.
But if I'm gonna be courageous and dramatic for one ear, I
gotta do the same for the other.
Allie, I'm not sure another hole in your head was the best idea.
TV: Stay tuned for an all-new "Extreme Acts of Unbelievable
Stupidity" with your host, William Shatner.
That dude is everywhere.
Parental discretion advised.
Dad!
The TV's being weird!
What's wrong with it?
It's asking for some kind of stupid parental code.
It's not stupid.
I put that on there last night to stop you guys from watching
those reality cop shows, because certain small people have large ears.
It's true.
I'm very impressionable.
Now hand me that popcorn or you and I are taking a ride downtown, punk.
Toss me the remote.
All right.
There.
Aw, man, you forgot the code, didn't you?
No, I didn't.
It's the television that's not remembering the code.
Wow.
Blaming the television for your senior moment.
That's sad.
No worries, because I cleverly wrote down the code on
a piece of paper and put it somewhere you guys would never look.
A magazine article.
That's right.
That's the place between the pictures with all the words.
I thought it was this magazine.
Maybe the forgetful TV took it.
"Maybe the forgetful TV took it."
(Phone ringing)
Hello?
Remember how I promised I wouldn't get my ears pierced till I was fourteen?
Fifteen.
Really?
Cause I thought...
No... You were seven.
We were at the park and you were on the dinosaur swing.
That you remember.
But, Dad, it's not fair.
Marissa's having a huge party tonight and Allie's parents said
she could get her ears pierced for it.
Yeah, well, maybe Allie's parents are comfortable with that, but I'm not.
But, Dad...
Look, the answer is "no."
End of discussion.
Okay.
That's my girl.
I love you honey.
"I love you, too, Daddy."
Aww, I knew you couldn't stay mad.
Bye.
So, what'd your dad say?
He said, "No.
End of discussion."
Great.
Now you're gonna be the only girl in school with big naked ears.
(Crying)
Okay, who's next?
I am!
♪ Feels like I'm caught in the middle ♪
♪ Drama comes with every new day ♪
♪ So far to fall ♪
♪ Walking the tightrope ♪
♪ But I wouldn't have it any other way ♪
♪ We're gonna put one foot in front of the other ♪
♪ Get tripped up and step on one another ♪
♪ We move ahead and try to keep it on track ♪
♪ 'Cause we know we got each other's back ♪
♪ Don't need to fight it ♪
♪ No need to deny ♪
♪ It's a crazy life, a random life ♪
♪ A wonderful life ♪
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen www.addic7ed.com
Stupid code.
It's blocking everything worth watching.
That show didn't even make any sense.
I know, I mean if they're wizards, can't they just like
magic their way out of any of their problems?
Oh, great.
Thanks for destroying another piece of my childhood, Captain Logic.
Dad!
Did you figure it out yet?
I'm still on hold!
Yes, hi.
I've been transferred all over the place and I just need
someone to tell me what my parental pass code is.
No, I do not want to add the movie package; I just need someone to...
No, don't!
Yes, you can transfer me again.
Hi, hi.
I just need someone to tell me...
No, I do not want to
add the movie package; I just
need someone to...
Don't transfer!
No, no, no, don't transfer!
No, no, no, no!
I'll add the movie package!
I'll do anything!
But why don't you just tell him after the party?
It's bad enough I did this.
I can't lie about it to his face.
Are you sure you're fourteen?
Besides, once he sees how cute these are, and that you
have them, too, he'll see it's no big deal.
Maybe.
I hope.
You may be right.
And you know something, honesty always pays off.
You really think so?
Well, honestly, no.
And you call yourself a cheerleader?
All right, how's this?
Go, Tess, go!
I am about to lose it!
Bye, Tess, bye.
Hey, Dad... I...
Finally!
I forgot my parent lock code.
Is there any way you can give it to me?
Ah, thank you!
Password?
Really?
I'm gonna have to call you back.
I'm sorry, honey.
What's up?
Listen, Dad, we need to talk.
It's about the earrings, right?
Well, yeah.
I ever tell you about the time your Aunt Monica had her ears pierced?
But...
You see, she was your age
and my parents said she had to
wait till she was sixteen.
But...
And you know what she did?
She waited until she was sixteen like a good little girl
and they all went out for ice cream sundaes and lived happily ever after.
First of all, we wouldn't have gone out for sundaes
because of the way your Aunt Monica's digestive system reacts to dairy.
(Shuddering)
Second, she didn't wait.
She went ahead and had her ears pierced anyway.
Really?
What did Grandma and Grandpa do?
Well, they sat her down, they looked her in the eye and they
told her that she had broken their hearts and the trust they
once shared was gone.
All gone?
All gone.
But not you, not my Tessie.
Even though I said no and you didn't agree with me, you still respected it.
Oh, well, that's me.
Yeah, it sure is.
And I've been thinking, any girl who's mature enough to handle
that situation is mature enough to have her ears pierced.
Really?!
Yup, that's why I'm gonna take you down to the mall right
now and we're gonna get it done!
No!
Let me get my keys.
No no no!
Honey, I really want to share this moment with you.
No, you don't.
There's blood and screaming.
It isn't pretty.
Back in a flash, love you, bye.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
You really think I don't know
what you're doing?
Okay, I can explain...
You don't have to, I get it.
You wanna go by yourself like the mature, responsible girl that you are.
Okay.
So, I guess I'll give these to you here.
These were your mom's favourites.
But, uh, I think it's time you had them.
But, Dad, I...
No, honey, the way you
acted today, you deserve these.
I feel awful.
Me, too.
Now you have diamond earrings before me.
Okay, I put in my birthday, your Mom's birthday, all of your birthdays.
Have you tried 2016?
What's that?
The year I go away to college where my roommate will have a
TV without a stupid parental code that he can't remember
because he's not an old man whose brain cells are dying
faster than the dog pee lake we call our back lawn!
Wait, I know how to fix this!
You do?
My little genius.
Come on, tell him.
Turn on one of my shows and you can go read a book for once in your life.
Oh, oh, oh, wait, wait, wait, I got it.
Our address.
You tried that already.
Not backwards!
Bada-bing!
Looks like your "bada" ain't got no "bing."
You know what the problem is?
There's too much negativity in this room.
What's "bing?"
I don't even know what "bada"
is.
Hey...
Hey, there she is.
Come on, let me see.
They look beautiful.
You know, your mom would be so proud of how you're turning out.
Aw, you don't have to say that.
Really, you don't.
Well, it's true.
And you know what she'd say if she were here?
GABE: She'd know the code!
You know, every day I have them in my life makes me grateful I have you.
Oh, come on, I mess up sometimes.
I mean, one day, I could really disappoint you.
Maybe.
But all I know is, it's not today.
Oh, don't be so sure.
Come on, Allie, pick up.
Yeow!
Hey, you get ready for a party your way, I get ready mine.
And why "arensch" you getting ready?
I'm not going.
You can't be "scheriousch!"
I am scheriousch... serious.
How can I have a good time at this party, knowing I lied to my dad?
Like this...
(Imitating dance beats)
As usual, no help.
Come on, Tess, it doesn't make sense.
I mean, you got your ears pierced; your dad thinks he gave you permission.
What's the problem?!
I just don't know how to lie and not feel guilty about it.
I mean, it's not like I'm a
politician or...
Gabe.
Look, I don't have the code.
I don't know my password.
But didn't I answer some sort of security question when I signed up?
I know my mother's maiden name, I know the name of my grammar
school, I even know the name of my first pet, it's Professor Cuddle Bunny.
ALL: Professor Cuddle Bunny?
He was a very smart rabbit.
What was I supposed to call him?
Mister Cuddle Bunny?
Well, it's been real.
What's my favourite colour?
That's the question?
That's easy.
It's blue.
What do you mean it's not blue?
Oh!
Okay, what's with the D-T-D-O-Y-S-D?
The what?
"Don't tell Dad or you're so dead."
Ohhh...
Wow, what's with your face?
Aaahh!
Now make it fast, I'm
missing...
Well, actually, I'm not missing
anything.
Gabe is listening.
How do you lie to Dad and not feel guilty about it?
What are you talking about?
I do feel guilty.
I care about Dad.
Then why do you do it?
Because I care about myself more.
Are you sure you're fourteen?
Why does everyone keep asking me that?!
What did you do anyway?
I got Dad to give me permission to get my ears pierced after I
already did it.
Impressive.
And you're beating yourself up over it, aren't you?
Exactly.
Look, Gabe is gonna tell you how this works.
Look, if you do something wrong and get away with it, the
universe is telling you it's okay.
And that works for you?
Hey, who am I to argue with the universe?
And so I ask you, would you rather live like me, or live like...
You lied to Dad?!
You're gonna get caught!
And now I'm an accessory to the crime!
(Wheezing)
I can't breathe!
The choice is yours.
Okay, maybe this'll help.
If I were you, here's how the
night goes...
Daddy.
Daddy!
I'm all ready to go to the party!
And what a vision you'll be in those lovely earrings that make me so happy.
Why, thank you, Daddy!
I'm happy, too.
We're both happy.
I guess that must mean the universe wants us to be happy.
BOTH: Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy!
Or you can go Sam's way.
Tess, honey, you're gonna be late for the party.
I'm coming.
Oh, my sweet angel, are you all right?
No!
I'm wracked with guilt!
I lied to you about the earrings!
You lied to me?
How could you?
You've broken my heart.
I have no more reason to live.
Father, please.
Don't do anything rash.
Goodbye, family!
Aaahh!
What have I done?
So, that's basically it.
One way, you get what you want and Dad is happy.
The other way, you don't get what you want, you're probably
grounded and he feels bad about doing that so you're both miserable.
Which brings us to the great question of life: stand tall, or...
I don't get it.
Why isn't this cartoon blocked, too?
I mean, the pig's wearing a sport coat and a bowtie with no pants.
That's just creepy.
Wow.
You've got issues.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
Tess, Allie's here!
Wow.
You still haven't figured out the code?
No, I must've misplaced it in the same drawer where you left your manners!
Rawr.
Okay, let's go.
Hey, not so fast.
Let's take a look at you.
Wow.
Hey, Spencer, is your sister not the prettiest girl you ever saw?
Yeah, whatever.
You two have a great time.
Sure.
You betcha.
Home by 10:00.
Make it 10:30.
Really?!
Absolutely.
The way you acted today showed you're mature enough for that extra half-hour.
Really?
You heard him, you're great.
Let's go.
Take a lesson, Son.
This is what happens when you make a deal and you keep it.
Uh-huh.
Love you, sweetie.
Love you, too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, lots of love.
She's a perfect child, here we go now, bye.
Don't you dare crumble.
But he loves me.
Who cares?
In ten minutes, we're gonna walk into that party and everyone's
gonna say, "Oooh, Allie, you look great!
Oh, and Tess, you look good, too."
Oh no, you're sitting on the bench.
Nothing good ever happens when you sit on the bench.
Did you forget something?
Spence, could we have a little privacy?
Sure.
Spencer?
Oh, you meant me?
Yeah.
I guess I could go.
But then all you'll be hearing is, "Are you done yet, are you
done yet, are you done yet?"
And who wants that?
Come on, Tess.
You are scary smart.
Smart enough to change the parental code without anybody knowing.
What's up?
I got my ears pierced, okay?
I know.
I did it before you said I could.
That I didn't know.
I was gonna tell you, but then you told you me I could do
it because I was so wonderful, and I figured, why tell you now
and get you mad, and then Gabe was in a dress and Sam was in a
dress, and I'm more like Sam
so...
Just go ahead and punish me.
I deserve it.
Tess, you need to look at me.
First... and this is important...
You saw Gabe and Sam in dresses?
In my imagination.
Oh.
Okay, just checking.
So, you lied to me.
Yes.
Why?
Do we really have to go there?
No.
You don't have to answer.
Whew.
I'll give it a shot.
Ugh...
You thought I was pigheaded
and I shot you down before you
had a chance to plead your case.
Go on.
So you went ahead and got them, thinking that once I saw
them, I'd realize it wasn't such a big deal and then all would be
fine in Tessland.
You're very good.
Look, honey, when you and your brothers blind side me with
things like "I want to buy a violent video game " or " I want a
dirt bike," I know where the "yes" and "no" is because you're
basically still in boy country, which I get.
But once you venture off into girl country, I'm lost.
I don't have a map, I don't have a compass, I don't have...
I don't have your mom.
Dad, you're doing great.
Sometimes I'm not so sure.
I am.
You know, this whole teenage girl thing is new for both of us.
And I'm thinking it's not going to get any easier.
True.
I'm gonna want to wear more makeup, shorter skirts, tighter tank tops...
(Making noise)
Stop, slow... slow down.
Slow way down, you know.
I'm still on "this is new for both of us."
Sorry.
Well, I guess what I'm trying
to say is...
lying to your father is wrong
and you're grounded for a week.
I honestly thought this was going to have a happier ending.
But the earrings look beautiful.
Beautiful enough not to be grounded?
No.
Thought I'd give it a shot.
Time for more cartoons.
Hey, who messed with the TV?!
Now it won't even let me watch cartoons!
This place is really going downhill.
TV: Welcome to the West Islands Dog Show.
Up first, a gorgeous French poodle...