HMP Holloway, in London,
is one of the largest women's prisons in Europe.
It's all a load of bullshit!
Over a whole year,
for the first time on television,
the BBC followed offenders inside jail...
SHE YELLS
Staff!
You don't. Move, man, move!
..outside on release...
I've drunk three quarters of a bottle of vodka already.
..and back inside again.
Hey, mate!
Prisoners like Jayde West are stuck in a cycle of petty offending,
prison and self-harm.
She is just 18.
Oh, my God!
Emma has swapped a comfortable life for prison and the street.
I guess I'm not your typical Holloway inmate.
He's very drunk, he's been up all night drinking, snorting,
smoking... Yeah, everything.
Crystal Duke is 23 and prefers prison to life outside.
The best times I've had have been when I've been in prison.
They help me in prison, they don't help me out here.
Half of prisoners in British jails reoffend within one year.
If someone says, "I love prison,"
doesn't that tell you they're not quite right?!
How can anybody love prison?
Each one has their own story.
Ladies, get to your rooms, we're locking in!
Every morning, the women of Holloway
get half an hour's exercise in the yard.
18-year-old Jayde West is back in jail
for the 6th time on burglary charges.
Andrea, what are you doing back in here?!
She was taken into care at an early age
and has been in institutions all her life.
When I came in last night,
I was like, "Yeah, bruv, I even got my own cell back!"
Jayde is a binge drinker with a long history of petty offending
and is now classed as a prolific offender.
HMP is Her Majesty's Playground.
This is her security,
this is her extended family
but it would be terrible if it got into such a pattern
that she never comes out of the cycle
and gets longer sentences for being a prolific offender
and that's the scary bit for her, I think.
Tell her to get out of my face, bruv, seriously, man!
Jayde's Achilles heel is her anger,
which has continued to cause problems
both outside and inside prison.
I just had a go at that dickhead over there.
Come up to me and you don't know! Go suck your mum!
Did you not just hear me?
Get out my face or I'll head-butt you, bruv, serious! You'll get it!
BANGING
Today, Jayde has been cautioned
for failing to leave the exercise yard when told to do so.
She is not happy.
Why are you banging, Jayde?
- Cos I am. - Why? - Cos I'm not in the mood.
You're not in the mood for what?
What, with that behaviour? What do you think I'm going to do?!
I'm just going to turn your light on, Jayde.
Right, I need a word.
Because I'm sure you've already heard
that I'm aware of your behaviour this morning.
- Ah, like you make it out like I did something wrong, bruv! - BLEEP.
- No! Stop swearing, for a start. - No! - Listen to me.
Miss Nash has put you on report, are you aware of that?
I don't care, just put me down the seg, then!
- I'm not putting you down the seg! - Shame(!)
But you're one step away from basic, do you understand that?
- You're a - BLEEP. - You're a pure - BLEEP!
- Do you want me to put you on report as well? - Put me on report! What was the reason to put me on report?
For refusing to leave the yard.
Did I come in? Yes.
Did you have to restrain me? No!
She's now going to be on basic. That means she...
she has half hour's association each day,
her visits will be restricted,
she gets to spend less on canteen
and she spends most of the day in her room.
BANGING
Jayde's behaviour continues to deteriorate.
Staff must now monitor her regularly as she has a history of self-harm,
including choking herself with ligatures.
'I guess I'm not your typical Holloway inmate.
'I come from a good middle-class family,
'I went to a good independent school.
'I never wanted for anything, really.'
Emma is 23 years old and homeless.
She's in Holloway for the third time on shoplifting charges.
Like 70% of offenders, she has serious addiction issues.
But because the prison has such limited time
with short-term offenders like Emma,
they can be the most difficult of all to rehabilitate.
'I've done things that I never would have dreamt of doing.'
Stealing...
..and lying and...
being a horrible, deceitful little cow.
And hurting people that I love
just because I want this next fix, you know.
While inside Holloway, Emma is stabilised on methadone,
a heroin substitute.
The prison must monitor her health closely
to ensure she is on the correct dosage.
But despite the fact she is now stable,
Emma is becoming worried about her impending release.
'Drugs have been such a big part of my life for so long,
'I don't know what to replace them with.
'All I do is just go out, shoplift to make money
'and score drugs, that's basically what my life consists with
'until I go to sleep again at night
'and I wake up and do the same thing.
'What I don't want is to get back into that lifestyle.
'I do want to try and...
'better myself and find somewhere to live.'
- What's your housing situation? - I'm currently homeless.
OK. So, in terms of your plans for release, what were you hoping to get?
I don't want to go back to sleeping on the streets.
- No, no, of course not. - I can't do it.
- I mean, we'll do everything we can. - OK.
We don't have accommodation ourselves,
so it's all through hostel accommodation.
She'll be tricky, because a lot of boroughs these days
are refusing to house people directly from custody,
so they're expected to leave the gate here,
go for an assessment, then they've got to see probation
and their dip team or their drug teams
and still accommodation isn't sorted for the day of release.
And when you've got a heroin and crack addict,
as soon as they leave these gates, that's the most crucial part,
where they will start using again if they're going to use.
It'll be then and then, everything else goes out the window.
BANGING
It's two hours since Jayde had her privileges removed.
She's become more agitated
and has now started to make ligatures from torn-up curtains,
hiding them on her person.
- Jayde! - No! Seriously, - BLEEP - off!
You know I'm not going to go.
What, and you still think I'm not going to tie this round my neck?
No, I think you probably will.
Jayde, let's put it in perspective,
you're tearing the curtain off the window,
tearing it into strips to tie round your neck.
Well, take that, take everything, take the bed, take this...
You think I'm going to leave, do you think that's likely?
Oh, do I really look happy I'm going to be on report?
- Do you think I'm going to be happy... - Are you surprised?
..whether it's now or tomorrow? No!
Are you surprised?
You know I'll be back, Jayde.
Don't care and you think I'm going to let you cut it off? No.
Staff are not allowed to search Jayde for ligatures
and must make regular checks on her.
When Jayde comes in, she likes to push the boundaries.
It's almost like we are the institution that cares about her
and she needs to do what she does
to get a response.
Jayde has now tied a ligature round her neck.
It is an emergency.
..code blue on papa one, over.
Jayde, calm down.
Get off me now, get off me!
No, we need the nurse to come in.
- No, you - BLEEP - don't! - Yeah, we do!
Move, man, move! Get out my cell!
I'm going to keep doing it, bruv. Got more stashed, mate.
MJ to papa one,
no further assistance required on hotel one unit, papa, over.
She's childlike, she is only 18 years old.
She's been through far more
than a lot of other 18-year-olds have in their life.
I'm nervous because, you know, before I got out,
I was actually drinking loads.
It's 23-year-old Crystal Duke's last night in Holloway
after finishing a 12-week sentence for a drug-related crime.
Crystal battles with drink and is bipolar.
She has been coming here since the age of 17.
The best times I've had have been when I've been in prison.
In prison, I feel like I've got structure, routine,
loads of decent friends,
like outside, I felt they were more associates.
But like, as much as I love my family,
I feel like I make them proud when I'm in prison,
which seems a mad thing to say, cos I'm clean when I'm in prison,
I'm healthy, I'm happy, I'm safe.
When I'm outside, I feel like I let them down
because of the life that I live and the people that I roll with
and the things that I do.
And I just want to make them proud by going out
and doing what I do in here out there.
Crystal has started a relationship in prison with Toni.
Although not condoned by the authorities,
these relationships form an important part of life behind bars.
I start getting anxiety when I'm due to get out,
I start getting panic attacks and that,
cos I know that I'm going back to the same old thing,
which is why I keep coming back to jail.
I'm safer in here, I've got a bed,
I don't have to worry about eating, cos outside I don't eat.
Like, I looked really horrible on my ID card when I came in.
You look well now though, don't you, babe.
Yeah, I'm...healthy again now, I am dreading getting out.
I do cry about getting out a lot.
SHE LAUGHS
She didn't look impressed.
Miss West?
I can see a bit in the shadows, but...
You want to come with us?
Jayde has continued to tie ligatures throughout the day
and they are getting tighter.
Jayde, you know we are going to have to take it off.
Let go for me, please.
Right, miss, can you just move your hands, please,
- so we can take it off? - Jayde, come on.
Jayde!
Come on!
It's so bloody tight.
- Come here. - Why don't you all just - BLEEP
- and let me do what I need to - BLEEP - do, man?!
- This has gone too far, come on, let me sit and talk to you. - No.
- Jayde. - No, get off me, man!
You know I'm not going to go away.
After talking with officer Kelly,
Jayde calms down and finally stops tying ligatures.
They do put up with a hell of a lot of shit from me...
..proper loads of shit.
Like when I tied my ligatures, Miss Kelly was like,
"Why not just press your bell and ask to talk to me?"
But when I'm in that mood, I don't want to talk to no-one,
I'd rather just do it and go to sleep,
cos once I've done it, it knackers me out.
It's the eve of Crystal's release
and she is preparing for life on the outside.
Yeah, it's going to be a big day for me tomorrow.
Usually, I'd be all excited about gate release, like thinking,
"I'm going to go and get a beer,
"I'm going to go and take, like, drugs, I'm going to do that."
I don't feel like partying tonight,
I feel, like, more nervous and anxious.
I've been trying not to cry all day.
The thing is, with me and Toni,
we've both been through...everything the same
and she knows how hard it is
and like, the last few days, how much cravings have I had?
Yeah.
I've been craving and I've been getting upset, cos...
It's because I know what I'm going out to!
That's what's bothering me.
I know that I'm going back to the place that I hate the most.
If I could be allowed to go out, like, once in a while
to get my clothes and...go to the shop, I don't think I'd ever leave.
Would you?
Come here.
You'll be all right.
You've got the girls to keep you company while I'm gone.
- I know it's not the same. - It's not the same. - I know it's not.
See you, miss.
'Even though I don't know what's going to happen
'on the other side of that wall,
'I know that I'm walking out healthier
'and I'm walking out with a plan.'
I feel sick every time this happens.
'Do you know what?
'I've turned around and I've looked at this before many times,'
but I'm hoping this is the last time I'm going to see this,
like, especially, well, the way I'm looking at it.
I'm hoping that if I ever do see it again, it'll be just driving past,
rather than getting released.
Emma is also aware of the challenges she faces on release.
- Miss, can you do me a favour? I need to take my methadone. - OK.
'There's a huge temptation to use drugs when I get out of prison,
'because my other half is on the streets
'and I still have a lot of feelings for him.'
We've been together for six years, so...
Yeah, it's not an easy split
if that's even going to happen,
but I want to try and...try not to use drugs.
- Emma! - Hello?
Can I speak to you?
- Lambeth have accepted you. - Yeah?
So, which is unusual, I wasn't expecting it.
- So now... - I'm really happy about that.
..from here, you're kind of on your own in that you need to make it down
- to the assessment centre in Vauxhall. - Right...
- I probably won't need to be picked up or anything. - You sure?
- You're definitely going to make it there, definitely? - Yeah, definitely.
My housing is my top priority.
Do you want to think about it?
- Obviously, I know you're saying no, but just think, because, you know, that's... - No, I will go.
..that's your biggest chance of relapse.
What, in between prison and there?
And getting there, we've seen it happen many times.
- All right, then, yeah. - It's up to you.
My mum might come and pick me up from prison, so...
Yeah, that's good enough, OK.
- OK? - That's really good news, thank you.
- Cool. Good luck! - Thank you.
It's early February
and Jayde's turbulent month in Holloway has come to an end.
- Where are you going to go to? - I've got to go to my nan's first.
- Where does she live? - Southfields. It's only one stop.
She will now be under the strict supervision
of the police and probation service,
a regime which she has failed to adhere to in the past.
So you've got to report to your duty officer by 11am.
I ain't going to get there for 11,
I can ring her though, cos I've got her number,
cos there's no chance I'll get there for 11.
Well, make sure that you make contact with her,
cos if you just ignore it, then, you'll be in breach straight away
and we'll be booking you back in tonight and we don't want to do that.
- So try your hardest to stay out this time. - I'm going to, man.
Just go and stand over on that kerb, please.
HE KNOCKS
You know the procedure.
OK, see you again then, hopefully not!
SHE CHUCKLES
Take care.
Going to the shop now!
'The closest person in my family is my nan,
'like, she's been there through everything.
'She's helped me out a lot, more or less all my life.'
I've had to put up with a lot with her,
but if I didn't, there's nobody else that would have her, so, you know,
being my granddaughter, you do what you've got to do!
Because you love them,
and you know, you want them to do their best,
you try and put them on the straight and narrow,
but, ultimately, it's down to them.
I just hope she can stay out this time.
It's always weird going to see her again when I come out.
Cos I never know what to say to her when I come back out,
cos the first thing she's going to say is,
"Make sure you stay out this time!" I'm like, "I do try."
It's not as easy...said than done
when you've been going in and out for like four years,
it's hard to stay out.
'But I suppose I've got to try for her.
'Otherwise, if I keep going back,
'I'll end up back till I'm a bloody old woman, like half of them in there.'
DOGS BARK
- Hello! - Hi! Hello! - Boys!
How was you doing inside?
- All right, self-harmed a bit. - Why?
Just stress, innit, but I've been all right.
What did I say to you, yeah?
Either try to ring me or just go to one of the prison officers
and tell them how you feel.
- Yeah, but I don't like doing that. - I know you don't like doing it,
but you've got to try and learn to do it, Jayde, haven't you?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
- Because you know how I feel about it. - Yeah. - Yeah?
Cos no-one else is going to worry about you, are they? No.
So it's just me having all this on my shoulders.
Big bottle of vodka.
SHE CHUCKLES
To drown my sorrows.
Jayde lives alone in a council flat with her dog Buster.
She is estranged from her mum,
who has herself been in and out of prison all her life.
Like, my mum didn't really see me grow up,
apart from, like, the odd time when she was out of prison
in like a visiting centre and all that bollocks.
When I have kids, I can guarantee I will not be going to prison
or if I do, they'll be coming up to visit me like every weekend,
you know what I mean? I'd never put my kids through that.
I'm not going to lie, at Holloway, I do love prison
and I do miss it,
but, sometimes, you've got to try and move on to get better in life.
But it is going to be hard.
I want to stay out this time,
stay out for this little bastard.
(You're my little puppy! You're my puppy!)
SHE CHUCKLES
After ten weeks in Holloway, it's the morning of Emma's release.
She's still dependent on the heroin substitute methadone.
If she reoffends in the next 70 days,
she'll come back to Holloway
to serve out the remainder of her sentence.
I've never really properly tried to give up.
I've had periods when I've stopped,
but they've never really lasted that long.
Maybe it is something that I need to do.
I know my mum would like me to do it.
Hi, Mum!
Hello, sweetheart!
'She's been away from home for so long now,
'she'll come back for the odd night,
'but I know she's been living on the street,
'she's been living in squats.
'There've been times, up to three or four months,
'when I've heard absolutely nothing from her.
'And I do worry, I think that long silence is totally horrific.'
She's always said to me, "Mum, I can look after myself."
'It's really nice to see her, but she can be a little bit overbearing.
'She's looking over my shoulder to make sure I don't disappear again'
or do something I shouldn't be doing.
It's kind of nice in a way, but it's also...
I'm 23, I'm not 12.
Um...yeah, but she's a mother, she worries, I guess. That's what it is.
Should I come with you?
No!
What's going to happen?
I'm just going to go in and speak to them and find out about my room.
OK, all right, yep. We'll wait here, then.
OK, bye-bye!
Emma's hostel place has been confirmed,
but she must remain drug-free or she could end up back on the streets.
Crystal is back on her old stomping ground - Southend,
and, after a fortnight of freedom, is still drug-free.
Going to prison all started from hanging about down here,
fighting, drinking and just being little tearaways.
I live on an estate that's known for all the wrong reasons, really.
It's like a sweet shop, what you want, you can get there.
If you've got a person like me with addiction problems,
it's like throwing someone in a pond who can't swim,
they're going to sink.
So, yeah, I am...I'm quite nervous about moving in here full-time...
..cos it wasn't somewhere that I enjoyed living.
Living here every day, I pretty much used to get up,
I used to look out of this window,
I'd spot whoever I wanted to buy from and I'd call them
and then, they'd just buzz my buzzer and they'd come up.
It was pretty much like a taxi service, really.
I'm very anxious about coming back here.
I am, but I'm hoping, with my girlfriend due to come out,
we'll have nice memories of me and her,
we'll build memories in this flat of us,
so that'll sort of overtake the bad ones that I've had.
But I am worried about relapsing.
I'm worried about having a bad day,
looking out of the front, seeing everyone out of their nut
and me thinking, "Ah, it could be so easy, I could do that."
Crystal will have to wait two months
before girlfriend Toni is released from Holloway and can join her.
Home sweet home!
Two weeks, Jayde.
It's not my fault! You've missed me, don't lie.
- Yeah, like a hole in the head. - Everyone misses me!
Jayde has been remanded again.
She has been out of prison for just two weeks.
Everyone said to me, "Don't come back."
And I was trying not to, but...
..it's a lot easier said than done.
Like, I've been to most of my probation and that,
I missed a couple.
Like, I was meant to be there at ten o'clock yesterday,
I turned up at like five.
I just can't be bothered with it.
You all right, sir?
SHE CHUCKLES
What's happening!
Despite being happy to return to Holloway,
it doesn't take long for things to go wrong.
It's all a load of bullshit!
This time, because she has been told she might face a longer sentence.
Fuck the jacket!
BANGING
No, fuck off, bruv! I ain't going nowhere.
If you want me in my cell, bend me up in it.
It's all a load of bullshit, man, all because of one fucking person!
Right, can you all go back to your rooms, please?
I ain't fucking moving nowhere, bruv, I don't care!
I'm going to miss everything, bruv, it's all fucking bollocks.
SHE SOBS
I don't care!
I swear, when I get out, I'm going to stab them!
- I swear to fucking God, mate. - Calm down, babe!
Come on, sit up and we'll have a chat.
Oh, Jayde... It's not the way to deal with everything, is it?
You need to stop this, Jayde,
your temper gets in the way of everything.
Jayde isn't very good at expressing herself,
the only way she knows how to express herself is through anger.
Another week in Holloway and Jayde's behaviour is again causing concern.
She has started tying ligatures.
Can you call code blue for me?
Hello, MJ from Delta, code blue on H1 unit, over.
Oh, my God!
RADIO: All outstations code blue on hotel one unit,
code blue on hotel one unit...seven...
This behaviour is not just an issue with Jayde,
there are over 30 incidents of self-harm a day
in British women's jails.
Why do you keep doing it?
I've basically just let myself down
as well as Miss Kelly and the Governor
and all the other officers, like Miss Roseman and Gibbo.
I wouldn't wish it on anyone,
like, for officers to find someone dead in their cell.
Back on the outside, Crystal had been drug-free for two months,
but has recently relapsed.
She has secured a place in rehab
and has decided to give up her flat and return to the family home.
'I've been so down lately and so, like, emotional and upset.
'I thought cos I was doing everything right,
'that the drug situation would just go out the window,
'like, that I wouldn't think about it any more.'
And then, I started like getting massive cravings.
I really do need the rehab, do you know what I mean?
And I really don't want to be a 40-year-old heroin and crack addict on the front line,
so I want to sort this out now.
"To whom it may concern,
"due to 12 months of constant issues,
"such as addiction, mental health problems, domestic violence
"and the fact my property is far from suitable for my complex needs,
"I am no way fit enough to carry on living at this address.
"I'm doing everything in my power
"to get into treatment where they can help me recover.
"I know this makes me homeless,
"but I cannot cope with living in this accommodation.
"It is no means appropriate for me
"being in a vulnerable stage of my life."
I learnt to read and write in Holloway.
I have achieved a lot in prison, I've done victim awareness.
This one here is recognition of attendance
at CARATS' crack awareness programme.
I've done a certificate that I tested negative
for benzoes, amphetamines, cannabis, cocaine and morphine.
I've been awarded there for Adult Numeracy Entry Level Two
and Adult Numeracy Entry Level Three.
Everything I've ever achieved has been in prison or while on an order.
It's usually once that that's finished that I struggle.
These are the ones that Toni has sent out to me since I've been out.
The "love" one,
the "from me to you",
"thinking of you always"
and "I love you".
I know it sounds a bit soppy, but I look at that every night
and, like, I think, "Oh, I love ya, you'll be out soon."
After a fortnight back home,
Crystal is planning to leave for rehab,
250 miles away up north.
I feel like it's all worthwhile, everything I've done.
Everyone feels I'm going to get there, everyone's saying to me,
"I really think you're going to complete it,"
so I'm really like, I can't wait.
Come on, let's go and get Lilly's presents open.
'As long as I take everything that's on offer to me
'and I work at it seriously, things are only going to be good.'
Can I have a kiss?
Love you.
I love them to bits.
I ain't got my own,
so I like to be the best aunty I can be, innit, for them,
especially now they're getting older.
I don't want them to...embarrass them, do you know what I mean?
I don't want them to think, "That's my aunty, the one who's like on..."
Do you know what I mean? Them sort of things, I want them to be like,
"Oh, yeah, that's my aunty!"
You going to be a good boy? For me?
- Yeah? - Look! Balloons!
'I nearly lost my nerve this morning. I woke up and thought,
'"I don't know whether I'm going to go." That's how I felt this morning.'
If I knew I was going to prison this morning, I would not be nervous in any way, cos I know what to expect.
I know she's got to do it,
but, blimey, I didn't think this would happen. Yeah, it's sad.
- You'll be all right, Mum, come here! - But, don't know, we'll be all right.
She's been a good girl and all, she has,
she's really tried for this.
Honestly, she's really tried.
But I just hope, you know,
that she gets what she wants in life from it, I'm sure she will.
But I didn't think that it'd be like this,
cos I'm a bit of a hard nut to crack, but I don't know.
There's no words that can explain this one, it's like...
Well, it's like you're going in the army, you know what I mean?
Or you're going somewhere you've got to go.
But you haven't got to go, cos it's her choice.
There's people sitting in crack houses and smack houses,
like, who do want to go to rehab and I've got the chance to go,
so if I don't go, I'm an idiot.
Right, Zi, are you going to let them go with me?
Let the balloon go, that's it.
Whey! Look at them.
In two months' time,
Crystal hopes to return to Southend completely drug-free
to start a new life with girlfriend Toni.
Two weeks after her release from prison,
for Emma, the temptation of the drug world is proving too much.
'I really had some good intentions
'about trying to keep on the straight and narrow
'and that hasn't really happened.
'There's still the part of me which says,
'"Yeah, you enjoy getting high,'
"you know, fuck it, you can do prison, it's not that bad."
It's hard being around my boyfriend.
He's still on the streets and stuff
and he's still using drugs every day.
When she was away, I don't know,
I just tend to just...get hammered, really.
And I do that anyway, I'm not a very good person, really.
She can probably do better than me, but, you know, love is blind, innit?
They are very fond of each other,
but he needs help in sorting his life out to go forward
and she didn't want to go back.
But, erm...
..he is very...persistent.
She was very artistic.
There she is dressed up,
she loves dressing up.
There she is with her violin.
I think that's lovely.
She was grade seven
and then, when her father died, she stopped,
she wouldn't do any music at all.
The sixth-form college where she went to was rife with drugs.
And from there on is the story,
aged 17.
I do still really want to get clean,
but the best way I could really try and describe is -
you're on a diet and you really want that piece of chocolate cake
and your best friend or your boyfriend is sitting there
eating a great big chocolate fudge cake
and they say, "Go on, just have a little bit, have a little bit."
And you think, "Oh, fuck it! I'll just have a little bit."
And it's just like that, you just end up eating the whole cake.
Hi!
Hello?
'He's very drunk, he's been up all night,'
drinking, snorting, smoking...
Yeah, everything, so...
Yeah.
'What he does really affects me
'and I've been missing days of my methadone...
'..and using and drinking.
'He always says to me he loves it when I come and stay with him'
cos he just likes, I don't know, to go to sleep having someone to hold.
'We all do.'
Back in Holloway, staff have adopted a new approach
to dealing with Jayde.
Every time she is locked behind her door,
the ligatures are getting more and more frequent,
the staff are getting more anxious about everything that's going on.
So what we're going to try and do now is try and keep her occupied,
try to give her different things to do
so that she basically wears herself out.
Normally, I'm awake till like 12, one o'clock,
but when I'm cleaning,
it's wearing me out, so I'm going to sleep earlier
and then, I'm getting up in a better mood.
So I ain't going to self-harm and all that bullshit.
Just be positive about everything.
Cos I want to get out for my dog, man.
'Miss Kelly, like, said I've got lots of positive comments'
and all the staff have said that I'm making progress
and not going back to how I used to be, the little shit.
Especially Miss Kelly.
Miss Kelly...I don't know how she still likes me, like.
The amount of times I've been that horrible to her,
all the officers, really.
The amount of times I've mouthed off at them, gone to hit them or whatever
and they still come back and talk to me and all that.
Miss Kelly, it's done!
Ah, well done!
Do you need a rest?
Nah, I'm all right.
SHE CHUCKLES
You've missed a bit.
Don't even go there, bruv. I tried my best with all that graffiti. What?
Got ya!
Ah, you're a div!
- You're treading on all my clean floor! - Oh, I'm sorry.
A week on and having been in Holloway just 12 days,
Jayde gets bailed and is released on licence again.
Eh, bruv, I'm going home! I got my bail!
'The conditions of your bail are as follows -
'you have to observe a curfew each day
'between the hours of 20.00 and seven o'clock, yeah?'
- I'm going home! - Seriously, baby?!
'To report to Grays Police Station Monday to Friday
'between 12 noon and two o'clock.'
I'm sorry, miss.
That's all right, apology accepted.
You fucking made me cry, man!
Listen, listen. It only means something
if you intend not to do it again.
- I won't! - OK, then, accepted.
- I'll probably be back when I get sentenced. - No, you're not!
Right, Jayde, you give that up there,
do not turn this on until you're past the second gate.
- See ya, miss! - Be good!
- Bye, miss! - Bye-bye!
It ain't opening, they don't want to let me go!
'I'm going to do it, like, month by month, really.'
See you later, sir!
Struggling after just ten days in rehab,
Crystal discharged herself to be with girlfriend Toni,
who is now out of prison.
Too embarrassed to return to Crystal's mum's,
we found the pair sleeping on the streets of London
in a desperate state.
I went to rehab and I started deteriorating massively,
losing loads of weight, loads of emotional mood swings
and I'm telling them that I'm really depressed and I'm upset
and no-one is listening to me.
They're telling me, "Just go in your room and lay down."
- I discharged myself and went straight to hers. - Yeah.
But, obviously, I've been in a right bad way
and that drinking since and everything.
So this is a new thing for me, it's done my head right in massively,
to tell you the truth.
I don't know, it's just dangerous out here,
we're in the worst place we could be.
If I weren't really into Toni and I thought she was like, weren't,
- I'd go back to prison. - Cos you've got a structure, you're safe,
you don't have to worry about where you're sleeping,
you don't have to worry about where you're eating...
I love it in jail. I actually miss jail, you know that,
- I actually really do miss jail. - We haven't really spoken about it. - I really do, though.
This is like, I'm looking around and I'm sitting on the floor,
like dirty floor.
I'm better off in jail, this is why I go back to jail.
I'm walking over London Bridge thinking,
"I just want to dive in the water." Seriously, that's how it's got,
because I just don't think that it is...nothing, nothing gets any better, does it?
Two days after filming with Crystal,
she called us to say she had taken an overdose.
We notified the police, who found her
and she was rushed to St Thomas' Hospital.
I got a call on Saturday morning at half ten.
"Deborah, are you seated?", from the police.
I said, "Why, what's the problem?"
They said, "Your daughter took an overdose
"and she was semi unconscious
"and we've had to rush her to St Thomas' Hospital."
So I got in touch with my mother-in-law, well, my dear friend,
who said, "Don't worry, I'll come with you to the hospital."
So she's been by my side.
Crystal's on a life support machine in the intensive care unit.
She's stable at the moment, but they can't take the tube out
and take her out of intensive care because her breathing's not right.
The system never pick up things, now I've asked them.
I've said, "Listen, what is the situation this time?"
He said, "This is the worst one ever, she could have died."
Thank God someone found her!
Since the incident,
Toni has not made contact with Crystal or her family.
Six weeks after leaving Holloway,
Emma was arrested for shoplifting.
Narrowly avoiding going back to prison,
she has persuaded her boyfriend Greg to get a methadone script.
It takes the pressure off both of us, really, to go out and make money,
cos it means we can, we can have time off.
Emma doesn't have to go out shoplifting
and I don't have to go out, like, doing my thing as well.
And so, yeah, it makes life a lot easier for both of us really, yeah.
- I'm so glad you've done this. - I know.
It's kind of hard. It's because of you, really, that I'm here.
Do you know what I mean? Like, you know, cos it takes,
like I said, it takes the pressure off both of us, don't it?
Greg going and getting a script is really great for me,
because if I went back to prison,
I'd have to start from square one again with all these key workers,
with this whole process of trying to get into rehab,
getting somewhere to live again, I'd lose where I'm living.
And, oh, when I was sitting in that police station just thinking that...
I don't know, my mother or my key worker or someone would have to go into my room
and pack up all my stuff again
and wait however long for me to come back out,
for me to just start again and it's...really depressing.
"Hey, Mrs Kelly, how are you? I hope you're OK.
"I want you to know that I am actually really missing you quite a lot,
"as you are the person I am most close to.
"Also, I just want to say
"I'm very grateful for all your help and support that you have given me.
"Even when I wouldn't talk to you and push you away,
"you still came back and I'm sorry for all the shit I've done.
"I really miss our chats and when I felt shit or self-harmed,
"you did always cheer me up.
"I've been doing all right, I suppose,
"and I've still got my dog Buster.
"Tell Mrs Roseman and Gibbo and Sue that I said hello
"and I'll write again soon.
"I miss you and love you loads.
"Lots of love, Jayde West, AKA Trouble." That's right.
"Miss you, blondy."
That's nice.
It's nice for her to let me know how she is, because we do care
and I do worry about Jayde when she's not in prison.
SHE LAUGHS
Jayde is drinking heavily...
..and failing to keep to the regime imposed upon her by the courts.
Bust, please, man, I'm too drunk for this shit.
'I need a break from out here, do you know what I mean?
'Everything is just too on top of me at the minute.'
Bada bing, bada boom...
I've drunk three quarters of a bottle of vodka already.
Bada bing, bada boom.
Jayde is required to make daily visits to her probation officer,
who knows her behaviour well.
I've spoken to you loads of times about this drinking.
Don't look at me like that.
You can't blame me, right. I've cut down from a litre
to just half a fucking litre,
which is better than nothing.
I could come here, like, not even be able to walk straight.
I remember one occasion when you could barely stand up, when the IOM...
Cos I didn't drink for two weeks,
that's why I'm going to Oasis today to sort it out.
But that's the whole point - binge drinking is far worse
- than just having a couple every day. - But it's not binge drinking, is it?
At the end of the day, I can't just quit drink like that.
When you've got a drinking problem, yeah, you cannot give it up just like that, Jane.
But, Jayde, one minute you're saying you've got a drinking problem,
the next minute, you haven't. I've been...
I don't think I have, but doctors, my doctor and three other doctors said that I have,
so I'll take it by them that I'm an alcoholic.
I am trying to cut down, I have cut down a fucking lot
since I've come out of prison.
Right, I'm going to make a call.
Go on, then, make a call.
I've cut down half a fucking litre.
Hello, it's Jane calling from Grays Probation.
I've got one of my PPOs,
erm...she's got alcohol issues...
Whoa!
SHE LAUGHS
Do you know what, you've just... Sit up now, Jayde,
- cos I'm really getting cross, because you've cut... - No.
- So? I don't care, you're moaning like I did it on fucking purpose! - She's been cut off.
- And I didn't, so why are you moaning for? - I'm not saying you did it on purpose.
You know what? I can't even be bothered with your shit, bruv.
I'm just going to go in a minute, cos I can't be arsed with ya.
What did you come in here to say to me?
Fuck all!
It's not the first time she's behaved like that.
She just has this view that "normal rules don't affect me"
and I think that's a lot to do with not having had rules
and boundaries from a young age
and her behaviour is very much like, like a child.
I am concerned.
She actually seems to be getting worse, her behaviour seems to be getting worse.
Oh, I've already been told this is my last warning.
If I have one more breach,
then, I'm going to go back to prison, like.
I've already been told that, but I don't give a shit.
I never fucking do.
It's my life, if I want to spend most of my life in prison,
I will and no-one's going to stop me.
After her suicide attempt,
Crystal continued to struggle with her bipolar condition
and was put in a secure unit for her own safety.
A few weeks later, we went to see Crystal's mum to get an update.
So far, so good.
She's doing better than she was
and she's taking the medication, but she's sectioned.
It's a bit like a prison order, really, cos when you're in prison,
you've got to be there, when you're in hospital, you've got to be there,
if they put an order on you.
So it's a kind of an order where if she comes out and they give her an appointment for the Friday,
a check-up to see how she's getting on, she's got to go to that,
if she doesn't, she goes back to hospital,
which is really what Crystal needs.
But how bad is it when you've got to lose your life nearly
to get some help?
While we were there, Crystal's mum received a phone call.
Don't be stupid, Crystal! What's wrong with you?
Don't be stupid!
No, I'm coming back up to the hospital now,
so stay where you are, for God's sake!
Don't! You'll have all the police out and everything, don't be stupid!
But they'll come out looking for you, Crystal!
Oh! For God... Look... Wait where you are, for God's sake!
You'll lose everything, don't be stupid, Crystal!
She's gone! Done a runner, coming here.
Oh, my lord.
I'm just hoping and praying to God that she comes home,
because the way Crystal looks and the way she is at the moment,
I'm just hoping to God she don't go out,
meet someone and go and take something.
That's all I hope to God, because I cannot believe this!
Here she is! Here she is!
Oh, my God!
Thank God for that, though!
- Oh, you're silly, though! - Fuck 'em! Fuck 'em! Fuck 'em!
Fuck 'em!
Ah, this is sad, this is, though.
Police are probably going to be here, all my stuff is in the place.
I was supposed to be back at quarter to.
I don't know what you'll do, you're going to go to Hadley.
In a minute, we're going to have to...get to the nearest cash machine,
withdraw the money, everything out the account, cos they will trace the money to the account, yeah!
Cos probably I won't be filmed now for ages, Lou,
cos I'll be locked up, I'm going to hold a shop up, so I can go back to prison,
because I can't handle being where I'm at.
You can't do no such thing, you're not!
- Oh, I am! - You're not going back there,
but there's no way you're going back to prison.
- Why do you feel you're better in prison? - Cos in prison, they help me.
They help me in prison, they don't help me out here.
All they want to do is lock you up, lock you up.
At least in prison, you're locked up for a reason.
I'm worried about my mother, that's what I'm worried about.
My mum, who's got abscesses and a bad leg.
I don't care what I do, but I don't want to see them lock you up,
but you're on an order now and I can't do nothing about it!
What do you think I feel like?
Won't grass me up, will you?
You can't go against it because they are in charge
and you have got to work with them, you've got to go back to hospital.
'And I don't give a shit about...'
For the next ten minutes,
her mum tried to persuade Crystal to go back to hospital.
'You have to stay in the hospital until they say different.
'At least in prison, you're locked up for a reason.'
Eventually, her mum won the argument.
It's three months since Emma's release from Holloway
and, despite her best intentions,
she has continued to shoplift to fund her drug habit.
She is due in court today.
This time, because of her record, she could face a stiff sentence.
I could get anything from a community order,
but I could also get sent to the Crown Court,
which means that I could get longer sentencing.
I'm 50-50, it really...
it could go either way.
It's all down to the judge, really.
Emma was found guilty,
but has not been remanded to prison.
She will now have to wait two weeks till sentencing.
I really... I got there by the skin of my teeth, really.
Yeah, I've got to be a very good girl in the next few weeks.
I've got to come back on 16th November
and I've really got to show I mean it this time.
Otherwise...
I mean, the judge says it'll just look
like I've thrown everything back in their face
and they're not going to look kindly on that at all.
I don't even think you're going to jail, Emma, do you know what I mean?
I think you're just being pessimistic,
- which is normally like, that's me. - I know, you are Mr Pessimistic.
I'm the pessimist, you know what I mean?
But I don't think you're going to prison.
Hope so!
I just really don't want to go back to jail.
I don't want to be stuck in this fucking rut
in 20 years' time either.
I don't see us doing this in five years.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
What, so you actually want to give up?
What do you want me to do?
When she returned to court, Emma was given a Drug Rehabilitation Order.
In the following weeks, she was evicted from her hostel
and we lost contact with her and Greg.
In Southend, Crystal's mum is preparing for Christmas.
She has received news from Crystal,
who has been in a secure unit for the last six months.
"To my mum. Thank you so much for standing by me
"when I gave up on life.
"I'm so sorry for all the stress I have caused you.
"But, Mum, thank you, most of all, for your visits.
"I have done my programmes and I have tried my best.
"I will make you proud, I miss you loads, Mum.
"Love you always. Crystal."
I am going to miss her at the Christmas dinner table
and as I wrap each present, I cry, that's normal.
But next year, the way she's going, next year, she'll be out.
And I think she'll really turn her life around,
cos she's done so well.
And, with Crystal, she's a girl who's very honest,
she's very kind and caring.
I've been up on a visit to see Crystal and I can honestly say
I've never seen her look so well.
Every conversation with her is positive.
I will miss her round my Christmas table,
because she's so...we get on like friends,
but she's had her presents, they all fit her!
But I mustn't do any more crying, I've been told.
No more crying, just think positive.
You've been and seen her, she is doing really, really well
and secondly, she will be out after Christmas, so, you know,
we've just got to get over this 2012, really.
That's what we've got to do!
Holloway is no place for no girl.
If someone says, "I love prison,"
doesn't that tell you they're not quite right?!
How can anybody love prison?
Hey, mate!
I just fucking got drunk and didn't get home for my tag
and then smashed someone in the face.
And then, got nicked yesterday for another breach of my tag,
for taking my dog out.
'Everything was just doing my head in, man.
'It'd be like the littlest thing that would piss me off.'
Fuck the screws! That's what we all fucking say.
It's really pissed me off now.
We first met Jayde back in January.
She is now in Holloway for the third time in four months.
Jayde's back, I wasn't surprised.
- Are you decent? - No, I'm not!
I'm naked, don't come in!
"Can't wait to see Miss Kelly tomorrow either,
"as I know, when she is on, if I have a problem, I can talk to her."
'It is like a kick in the stomach sometimes,'
because Jayde, we always get Jayde to a point
where we think she is going to be successful outside
and she might achieve something,
so it is disappointing when she comes back
and it's very sad for us to think that Jayde thinks of this place as home now.
Like, basically, I just take the easy way out.
Instead of dealing with my problems and all that shit,
I'd rather just come here and they go, more or less.
Or I'd just talk to an officer about them, it's easier.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd