Subs created by: David Coleman.
Yo, yo, yo!
Dust off the life preservers.
Summer vay-cay at the lake is about to go off up in here!
Um, Ms. Jones, if you insist on watching our TV shows,
please refrain from using the words you've heard on them.
And more importantly, please refrain from repeating vacations.
We've been to Lake Whitehead so many times, I'm surprised we're not on the brochure.
Okay, I'm open to suggestions.
Glad you asked!
Why go to a lake named after a zit,
when you can go to a city named after...
I don't know, some old dead French guy...
Paris!
Love the idea!
I'll have Pilot fuel up our jet, and tell Butler to open up our chateau.
And then I'll tell reality to check in with my daughter.
Mom, my goal is to go to Paris and buy fabulous designer shoes.
And you're always saying I need to be more goal-oriented.
So really, this is your dream coming true.
Honey, I would love to go to Paris.
But we barely have enough frequent flyer miles to get to Paris, Tennessee.
Rocky, charts!
This airline has triple mile transfer points.
We take your grocery points, convert them to miles then,
quadruple them using the promotional code, and voila!
Four coach tickets to France.
Buy a new car, charge it, we can even go first class.
Okay, okay. But even if we get there,
Paris is so expensive, we'll have to turn right back around and come home.
I'm sorry, guys.
Well, we gave it a shot.
Au revoir, Paris.
Yo, yo, what up, Lake Whitehead?
Why are you always so quick to settle?
I'm not. I'm just looking at the bright side.
Okay, at least we get a vacation.
This is why you always wind up with cold soup at restaurants.
Rocky, you always just take what life gives you.
Well, not me. I fight for what I want.
And if I want piping hot vichyssoise, then that's what I'll get.
Vichyssoise is a cold soup.
Not after I'm done with it!
♪Everybody, everybody, get out on the floor.
♪It can get a little crazy when the kick hits the 4.
♪Make a scene, make a scene, nobody can ignore.
♪Don't knock it. 'Til you rock it. We can't take it no more.
♪Bring the lights up, bust the doors down.
♪All together now. Shake It Up, Shake It Up.
♪Shake It Up.
And I'll have French bread, French fries and French Toast.
Yeah, we're all out of that.
But how about I bring you your regular salad,
and I'll sing Frere Jacques when I come back with it?
As they say in France...
"Let it go".
Actually, what they say in France is "let's go to Chicago".
Yeah, where are you two getting your information about France?
I found this house-swapping site, and there's a family in Paris
willing to swap their house for an apartment in Chicago.
- Ooh! - What?
- Ooh! - Wait, hold up.
So we'd live in their house, while they'd live in ours?
Well, I don't want some random Parisian kid oui oui-ing all over my room.
There's one teenage daughter, and she can sleep in my room.
Well, I have just three words for that. Count, me, in!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Wait, wait.
What I say goes.
And all I have to say is...
Yo, yo, yo, Paris is about to get did up in here!
Sorry. We're going to Paris!
Okay, all right, so the house isn't in the middle of Paris.
But according to this map, it's like...
A quarter centimeter away.
Yeah, that's super close.
CeCe, this...
On this map...
Is 500 miles.
- It is? - Mm hmm.
Well, they should really have something on there that tells you that.
They do. It's called a scale.
CeCe, did you really think that all of France was this big?
Well, this is Major Dance Boot Camp Part Deux!
Are you really surprised, Rocky?
Everything with CeCe is part "duh".
Seriously, CeCe, you have messed up our trip to Paris.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
CeCe arranged the house-swap, and nobody checked her work?
- You're the smart one. - You're her mom!
Guys, we're losing focus.
We're all mad at CeCe, remember?
This place better have indoor plumbing.
This isn't my fault.
The email said they were in a province near Paris.
No. CeCe, it says they're in Provence, a perfect getaway from Paris.
Well, you know I don't speak French!
It's in English!
Bonjour. I'm Etienne, the caretaker. I have a list of chores for you.
Oh, great! Now I have to do chores on my vacation?
Bonj... you're really cute!
I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Etienne?
Oh, that's hard to pronounce.
I'll just call you Fabio.
Let me help you with your bags.
Oh!
Rocky, look, it was an honest mistake that anyone could...
Don't even bother.
Great. Everyone's mad at me, and now we're stuck on this farm.
Could this be any worse?
Oh, yay.
It's a pig farm.
I guess it can get worse.
Bonjour. I'm Ty Blue from upstairs, and I promised the Joneses I'd do
everything I could to make sure you have a wonderful week in Chicago.
So here's some guidebooks and a bus schedule.
Any more questions, don't hesitate to check the Internet.
Bonjour.
Bonjour!
My name is Brigitte Didier.
And, uh, I'm Ty Blue.
And I was just telling your folks that I'm gonna be personally
showing you all around Chicago's finest sights. Yeah.
Starting with...
Ty Blue.
So, Brigitte, I was thinking after we eat, I could take you to see an American movie.
In France, cinema is about what you feel...
In here.
Oh. Pardonnez-moi. My phone is dying. It wants to be charged.
Les whoa!
Who is that?
Her name's Brigitte Didier.
Yeah, she's my new girlfriend from France.
And I think I might be in love.
Man, you're lucky I'm with Dina.
Otherwise, it'd be game on.
Yeah. Bullet dodged.
Ooh, Ty. Uh, I want to discuss this week's Shake It Up, Chicago!
I was thinking, since Rocky and CeCe are away,
maybe I could do one of the spotlight dances.
A little busy right now. So is that chair. You mind?
Bonjour, I am Brigitte.
And I am not getting up. So grab a chair, French fry.
Hi, Brigitte. I'm Deuce.
Ty must have forgotten to introduce us.
How's your pizza?
Brought it over myself.
It is delicious.
You know, in France...
Pizza is eaten with a knife and a fork.
Why are you laughing? She didn't say anything funny.
In fact, I don't even know what she said.
Yeah, but she said it with that adorable French accent.
Well, you know who else had an adorable French accent?
Marie Antoinette.
And we all know what happened to her.
Mom, I feel terrible.
But I will find us a way to get to Paris.
Oh, who wants to go to boring old Paris anyway?
Could you please pass the butter?
I just love the French countryside.
All is forgiven, mon petit chouchou.
What about my petit shoe-shoes?
Besides, don't you want to experience all that culture junk?
You said you were dying to sit at a Parisian cafe.
That was just for the cute waiters.
But nobody's gonna beat this guy.
Oh, could you pass the jam?
Hmm!
Okay, bottom line, Paris is off.
Deal with it.
You know what? I think I would like to finish my breakfast over there, Fabio.
While I watch you chop wood.
Hey, look at me on a working farm in France!
How about some fresh milk?
I squeezed it from the cow this morning. Still warm.
Not a selling point.
But, Rocky, uh, don't you want to go to Paris anymore?
You wanted to see that show, Mona and Lisa at the Loover.
CeCe, Mona and Lisa will always be there.
I just think that we should look at this as a happy accident.
You know? Make the best of it. Like me and Monsieur Pepe le Oink.
Who?
I just love this big guy.
He's so intelligent and wonderful.
I'm falling head over hooves for him.
Yeah, well, unless you could put a saddle on that pig and we could ride it to Paris,
I really don't care.
Ugh, Flynn, please tell me you still want to ditch this horrible farm for Paris.
Actually, no.
This place is growing on me. I saw something totally cool this morning.
You witnessed the miracle of seven baby ducks hatching?
How did you know?
Lucky guess.
I think they think you're their mom.
It's called imprinting.
Hey! You're right.
Turns out, in France, I'm a chick magnet!
In France, fondue we have all of the time.
Look at all this crazy cheese!
They should call it "fun-due!"
I like this long, skinny, fun fork.
I feel like a giant! Hey!
More like a giant tool.
Excusez-moi, I must take this call.
In France, we never take a call at the table.
- Isn't Brigitte great? - Mm hmm.
Oh, yes! Except, have you noticed that she starts every sentence with "in France"?
"In France, we do this".
"In France, we have that".
Well, in the old country, we have a term for people like her...
Annoying.
Come on, Tinka, you're crazy. She doesn't do that.
Oh, really?
Brigitte, the boys and I were just discussing baseball.
In France, we follow soccer.
Or football, as we call it... in France.
Oh, look at that. She got it both coming and going.
Great news!
You've finally decided to accept this simple, rustic way of life?
Wrong-oh! I found this in the barn.
A tandem bicycle?
No, silly! A bicycle built for two.
And it's gonna take the two of us straight to Paris!
So, uh, I got it all figured out, so just hop on,
and we'll be there in five short days!
CeCe, I'm having fun with Pepe le Oink.
I mean, I just love this big guy!
We're going on a walk later and having a picnic.
Yeah, congrats on your big summer romance, Rocky.
Tell you what, you can strap him to the handlebars,
and, uh, he can come to Paris with us.
Okay, CeCe, can't you just try to enjoy this?
I mean, how many people do you know get to live on a French farm?
Three, and they're in Chicago.
They left as soon as they found some suckers who would switch with them.
What'd I tell you, Pepe? See what I have to put up with?
CeCe, I'm sorry, but you're on your own.
Great. Once again, you choose to settle for
whatever scraps they leave you at the table.
Well, not CeCe Jones.
I am going to have a big, heaping plate of designer French shoes for dinner!
I'm out of here!
What do you have against French shoes?
Mom, what are you doing?
I am making croissants, from scratch.
Why?
I don't know!
I'm just suddenly very motivated to cook here in France.
Must be something in the water.
The tanned, wavy-haired, muscular water.
Gross!
Am I kneading this the right way, Fabio?
No, you're kneading it very badly.
It is a delicate dance.
You must be firm with the dough, but gentle, you see?
Like this...
Best vay-cay ever!
Mom, you don't have to pretend for me.
I can see through all the smiling and the giggling, you're miserable.
But it's okay.
I finally got online,
and Paris is only four buses, three trains, and two metros away.
Six hours there, six hours back, and one hour for shoe shopping. So let's get going!
You know I would, but Fabio and I only have five more days together.
Yeah, mom...
You know he's not really your boyfriend.
Well, you know that and I know that,
but everyone who sees my vacation pictures online won't know that.
- Say, "fromage!" - Fromage!
Gross!
Flynn, mom refuses to take me to Paris for the day!
CeCe, sometimes a parent has to do what they feel is best.
When you have kids of your own, like we do, you'll understand.
Come on, kids. Let's go down to the pond for your swim lesson.
Louisa, keep up!
Jacques, stop pecking Francois.
You know he hates that!
Kids, what are you gonna do?
Now, performing I Can Do Better, give it up for YLA!
♪Anything you can do, I can do better.
♪Your moves are just so whatever.
♪I don't want to brag but...
♪I know I got the got the right stuff.
♪Because everything I do just...
♪Keeps on moving up!
♪Hey, wait a minute!
♪If your heart's not in it.
♪No way, you can win it!
♪So step out of my way!
♪Because anything you can do, I can do better.
♪Anything you can do, I can do better.
♪Your moves are just so whatever.
♪Anything you can do, I can do better.
♪Stop! Let's get it!
♪B-E-T-T-E-R.
♪We party like stars.
♪You tried again too hard.
♪Keep up if you can!
♪B-E-T-T-E-R.
♪We party like stars.
♪You tried again too hard.
♪Keep up if you can!
♪Because anything you can do, I can do better.
♪Anything you can do, I can do better.
♪Stop! Let's get it!
So what'd you think?
You were tres bon. And this show is magnifique.
But, uh, in France, we have a dance show that always...
In France, in France, in France, in France, in France, in France,
in France, in France, in France, in France, in France...
Anyway, if you'll excusez-moi, I have to go to the bathroom,
or la salle de bain, as we say in...
In France! Yeah, I get it, I get it. Bathroom's over there.
Trouble in paradise? Or should I say, "in France"?
Yeah, I love pigs in a blanket as much as the next guy, but what are you doing?
I'm trying to hide Pepe le Oink.
Etienne told me that he's being taken to the market in Paris tomorrow.
Oh, great. Not only does the pig get to go to Paris before me,
but he gets to go shopping, too!
Okay, CeCe, let me just spell it out for you.
People will be shopping for him.
Oh.
Oh...
Ewe!
Exactly! I have to do something.
I would buy him and find him a new home, but I don't have enough money.
Unless someone wants to lend me their fancy French shoe money.
You better strap some wings onto Pepe,
because the only way you're getting my shoe money is when pigs fly!
Yeah? Well, you're not getting those shoes because you're not getting to Paris.
No. I won't accept that. I'm not you. I don't settle.
CeCe, there's a difference between settling and accepting what you can't change.
Was this trip what I thought it would be?
No. But I took lemons and I turned it into lemonade!
Well, then sell your lemonade down by the road, honey.
Maybe you can pay for your pig that way!
CeCe, come on. I need the money. I give you money all the time.
No, I'm sorry, I can't do it, Rocky.
Oh!
I'm so sorry. I did not mean to do that.
- Oh, yeah? - Ah!
Well, I meant to do that!
Oh, hello, Ty. Where's Frenchie?
Yeah, you were right about her. She is annoying.
I have to end it. I know it's gonna break her heart, but that's the way it goes.
Hey, Ty, uh, Brigitte left a note for you.
French perfume.
That girl's got a bad case of the Ty blues.
- I don't even have the heart to read this. - Oh, I'll be happy to do it for you.
"Dear Ty, thank you for showing me the Chicago".
"Unfortunately, I find you are all about you, everything is 'Ty, Ty, Ty'".
"Please don't be sad with me, and feel free to look me up if you're ever"...
- Don't say it. Don't say it. - I want to say it.
- I got to say it! - Oh, let him say it.
- Say it. - "In France".
Wow, she broke up with you in a letter?
So cold-hearted.
I'm starting to like that girl!
Rocky, I'm sorry. I was being a jerk.
You and Pepe can have my shoe money.
Really? That would mean a lot to me and Pepe.
Of course.
Besides, it's time that I stop and smell the pig farm anyway.
Which isn't hard, considering half of it is up my nose.
Ugh, ugh, ugh.
Okay, I'm not gonna even ask what you two are doing.
But get cleaned up, because we are going to Paris!
Really? Wait, why all of a sudden the change of heart?
What about Fabio?
His name is Etienne. And who cares about him?
My daughter wants to go to Paris, and I'm gonna take her there!
Even if I have to put it on a credit card and get a second job to pay it off.
So what I'm hearing is, he's married.
Engaged.
Get cleaned up. We're leaving in an hour!
I can't believe we actually get to go to Paris!
I know.
Well, I guess now you're gonna need your shoe money.
No. I promised you the money.
Besides, apparently my mother has better credit than I thought.
So I'll just borrow it from her.
Come on, let's go get this mud off.
Mud? It hasn't rained here in two weeks, ladies.
Take a good whiff. That isn't mud.
Ugh!
Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend. Www.Addic7ed.Com.