_
Welcome aboard.
My name is Caroline, and I'll be helping you transport your prisoners today.
What do we got?
Trent: The worst of the worst.
This is everyone who's been arrested at Comic-Con.
We're gonna send them away for a long, long time in a prison far, far away.
Piper: This is a rough group, lady-- real bunch of stabbers and grabbers.
All right, load 'em up!
Trent: Olivia Frampton-- fake nerd girl.
She seduces nerds with her chunky frames and then steals their collectibles.
Sometimes I like to dress up as Princess Leia.
Trent: Tavis Cose.
Weapon of choice?
"Magic, The Gathering."
He's literally cheated his way through dozens of tournaments.
I won't be in jail long if I play my cards right.
[ Laughs ]
Piper: Keep it moving, buddy.
Trent: Taka Hari, AKA
Bob McLaren-- The Ultimate Otaku.
He stabbed six people for saying they didn't get manga.
Piper: He is legitimately a murderer.
Trent: Then the ultimate bottom feeder in this fish tank
of raw sewage-- Nate Mungus, AKA Mungus The Fungus.
Piper: Lady, he is one of the most notorious film leakers in internet history.
I leaked the "Justice League" movie.
You want to know how it ends?
It hasn't even been shot yet.
That's how good I am.
[ Laughs evilly ]
Well, I don't care who you bring on board, as long as I get
home in time to see my son. It's his 3rd birthday today.
Trent: Okay, whatever.
Diego!
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com
We have now reached our cruising altitude on this flight
from San Diego to San Jose with a quick stopover at Nick Cannon
Supermax underwater facility.
Piper: NTSF sprung for first class.
Not too shabby.
Trent: This flight's a midair volcano about to explode.
I should be back there watching them.
Piper: Those nerds are gonna be fine back there.
I, for one, plan on relaxing on this flight.
Trent: - 30-minute flight. Piper: - It is?
Trent: You have a problem with those pills.
Hey.
I can't believe you bought us seats on a flight full of criminals.
I told you, we got an amazing deal on Pricefind.
This is just like that time you made us sit through that
four-hour Timeshare presentation.
Right. And we got two tickets to Seaworld.
The cheap seats.
- No! No! Trent: - I told you.
No, no!
Trent: Who shivved who?!
There's no way the Green Arrow can defeat The Hulk.
This stupid son of a bitch refuses to admit that
Green Arrow would mop the floor with Hulk!
Trent: Hey, you just put together words in an order I
don't understand, so you tell me
what's going on in English now!
You don't know what you're talking about, man!
Green Arrow wouldn't stand a chance!
Green Arrow is more powerful
than most of the heroes in the DC Universe, who...
[ Vomiting ]
He's got a bow and arrow and a goatee.
What's he gonna do?
He's gonna shoot The Hulk, and The Hulk is gonna die.
Maybe maybe-- he could take on The Red Hulk.
How dare you bring up Red Hulk!
Trent: What the hell?
You just fell for our diversion, noob.
The captain has turned off the "No Killing" sign.
[ Locks disengaging ]
Trent: Piper! Piper!
No!
Piper! Wake up.
What are you watching?
Piper: "Chasing Mavericks."
Trent: Look, they skyjacked the plane.
Piper: Gerard Butler.
Trent: I'm not Gerard Butler.
Piper: Yes, you are.
Damn these cuffs.
Hey, can you help me?
Please, help?
Aah!
Okay, listen!
You're gonna do exactly as I say, or I'm gonna tell you who's
playing Han Solo's son in the new Star Wars!
No!
Change course for Costa Rica, the international home for criminals.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your new captain speaking.
Oh, great.
They've taken over the plane.
Are you happy?
Welcome to Comic-Con Air.
Alphonse: What do you mean you haven't seen "The Wire"?
Kove: Oh! I cannot hear that from another person.
I get it-- it's good.
[ Beeping ]
That's the distress alarm on Trent and Piper's prison transport.
Alphonse: I'll see if I can interface with San Diego.
Kove: There's no time.
If these nerds get loose, it could be a catastrophe.
We need to blow up that plane!
Alphonse: That's Trent and Piper up there!
Kove: I can't hear you over the sound of me hitting the "Blow Plane Up" button!
Alphonse: No! Damn it!
Why do we have this thing installed so prominently?
Yeah.
Kove: You, stop!
Alphonse: What?
Oh.
[ Gasps ] Trent!
Trent, I'm so scared.
Trent: I need you to be brave.
- Stay here. - Okay.
This flight's about to get very turbulent.
Wait, Trent!
Be careful.
I can't imagine my life without you.
Trent: It's like the eighth time I've ever heard you speak.
Yeah.
Trent: Okay.
Get ready for your complimentary beatdown!
Hyaah!
Seat back forward!
Tray table up.
Seat belt securely fastened.
Oh!
Aah-haaa!
[ Shouting in Japanese ]
Trent: Go packing!
Okay, all right!
Ha ha! You missed.
[ Bones crack ]
[ Glass shatters ]
Whoops.
[ Wind howling ]
All this to save $40!
It wasn't just $40! It was $80! That's two tickets!
There goes my airline pillow!
I paid 10 bucks for that thing! I'm gonna go get it!
- No, baby, don't go out there! - I'm going for it!
[ Air hissing ]
[ Air howling ]
Trent: Whew!
Knew that guy sucked.
Kove: We cannot let these prisoners loose. Blow it up!
We'll mourn for Trent later.
Daisy: What is happening?
Alphonse: Trent and Piper's prison transport plane has been taken over by criminals.
Daisy: Oh, my God.
Does that mean we get to blow it up?
'Cause I want to press the button!
Alphonse: Do not press that button!
Trent Hauser is taking back the plane.
Use your skills of seduction and take care of him.
What skills of seduction?
I'm just a nerd.
[ Chuckles ]
That's my girl.
Oh! [ Giggles ]
I'm such a klutz.
Trent: Where the hell is Mungus?
I don't know. He disappeared.
It's like he climbed into a Tardis like some kind of time lord.
Trent: Stop it right there.
The only pop-culture reference I know is Lassie, and I'm not sure
if it's a dog or a horse, so your pretend-nerd-girl act won't work on me.
But I wear glasses.
Trent: Well, I see right through those nonprescription lenses.
I actually see a very beautiful woman that many men would find very attainable.
You know I'm a nerd.
Trent: Oh, you are a nerd, aren't you.
- I'll prove it. - Yeah, prove it to me.
Ask me who my favorite superhero is.
Trent: Fine. Who is your favorite superhero?
It's that guy from Fantastic Four.
His name is Mr. Stretch.
That's not his name!
It's Mr. Fantastic, real name-- Reed Richards!
He got his power when the team was bathed in cosmic rays on a scientific mission!
God, I hate fake nerds.
Blow it up! Blow it up!
Alphonse: Guys! Guys!
We're gonna kill Piper and Trent. Is that what you want?
Sam: What's the point of having the button installed,
Alphonse, if we're not gonna use it?
Daisy: It really is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Kove: Damn it, Alphonse, I will not let you ruin another
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me.
I am your commanding officer, and I command you to stand down!
Alphonse: I cannot obey that order!
Ma'am.
Kove: Oh.
Oh, uh... okay.
I really don't know what to do in this situation.
Normally, people just do what I say.
Sam: I don't know.
Uh, I don't know, either.
I'll check the Agent's Manual.
Oh. It's jammed.
I don't think I could jimmy it.
Well, dadgummit.
Thanks for trying.
Hey, my pleasure.
Why are you helping him?
Trent: Piper! Wake up!
Piper: I'm up. Let's go.
Oh, hello.
Trent: Give it up, Mungus.
One move and I take this off airplane mode.
Trent: Get him, Piper!
Aah! Oh, no!
Trent: I knew it.
Nerds can't function around women.
It's like you're, uh... what's the name for it?
Some sort of element or a substance that's your only
- weakness. It's, uh... - Kryptonite!
Trent: No, it's not Kryptonite.
I'll tell you one thing, though-- you will be in a crypt tonight.
If I'm not getting off this plane, Agent Hauser, then no one is!
Nonstop service from my foot to your face.
Trent: That's good.
Piper: Are you from "Chasing Mavericks"?
Yeah.
Trent: Oh.
Spoiler alert-- we're all gonna die.
Trent: No.
[ Air howling, alarm beeping ]
Unh! Turbulence and girls!
Alphonse: Yeah, look under "I" for "Insubordination."
Trent: It's Trent Hauser, and I've got some ain't it cool news.
We've regained control of the flight.
Repeat-- we've regained control of the flight.
[ Applause ]
Kove: Alphonse.
Oh, Alphonse.
Alphonse.
Alphonse: Damn it, Kove!
Damn it!
$80?
You just had to save $80?
Honey, ride with me in the ambulance.
It's a quick walk to the hotel. We'll save cab fare.
Trent: You know, I got to say, when this whole thing
started, I thought you were coming on pretty strong.
But after surviving that, I feel like there could be a future
between you, I, and your boy.
I was just flirting with you because I knew you would protect me.
I'm actually married, and I don't have a son.
I hate kids. Mm.
Trent: Hmm.
Well, at least everyone got out safe, except for the people we
killed or severely injured.
Piper: Yeah.
I had a nice flight.
Last one on the plane.
Last one in line.
Last to do everything.
You know what I'm gonna be the first to do?
Be a better man.
[ Lock clicks ]
I did it.
[ Explosion ] Aah!
Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com