Black men.
Very much like myself. Some not.
Black men whose voices are muted,
swept under the carpet,
silenced by secrecy.
The DL man blurs the lines between an otherwise
supposed clear distinction between gay and straight,
normal and abnormal,
moral and immoral.
Like a child joining two bloodlines,
one dirty and one clean.
Black men caught somewhere in between a definition
and a designation,
living in a gray area,
living on the down-low.
qualified to sing my life chronicles
than me
who better more qualified
to sing my life .. sing my life, sing my life
sing my life, sing my life
(breathing heavily)
(groans)
(Williams) It seems we've been in training all our lives.
We are taught as children how to play games that reinforce social constructs,
that hone our skills of deception.
When we played "house" or "hide and seek",
we were, in fact, practicing for adulthood.
So it's understandable why, in our adult lives,
we so easily fall back into game playing.
After all, it's what we've been taught.
(groans)
Baby steps.
(Williams) Meet Mark Watts.
(both chuckle)
(sighs) So...
We're really gonna do it this time, huh?
Yep.
So long to the fake room,
hello to our new office.
Oh, man.
This is a big step.
You sure you're ready?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm ready.
Coming out isn't easy.
I know.
I know, but...
If your scary little ass can do it, so can I.
Oh, baby.
I gotta call my mom.
'Cause she should be the first to know.
I agree.
Well, anyways,
let's go ahead and make a toast.
To new beginnings.
Hey.
Come here.
(doorbell rings)
You expecting somebody?
Nah-uh.
(doorbell)
What up, cousin?
Terrell? Yeah!
Hey! Hey, man, that's a nice crib.
You gonna let me in?
(laughs)
Damn, this is a fresh pad, man. Dang. Shoot.
Hey, what's up? You must be the roommate d'Andre.
Dante. Yeah, Dante.
My bad. I'm Terrell, Marky's favorite cousin.
All right, cool. Hey, man! Check this out.
I hope you ain't trippin' with me comin' without callin',
but I need a place to stay.
Regina put me out.
Uh...
How did you find me, T?
Oh, your mom gave me the address.
I took the first bus this morning from L.A., man.
I'm happy to see you, cuz.
How long has it been? Four or five years, something like that?
I can't remember.
So it's cool if I crash, right?
Uh...
I'm gonna go start the room.
He's gonna start the room.
Why are you not staying at your mom's, T?
Oh, she put me out, too.
Talking about how I ate up all her cornbread.
Why are not staying with Regina?
Oh, man, she's complaining too much.
Talking about, you know, she wants commitment,
telling me I'm lazy, I need to get a job.
Jobs are for suckers.
Yeah, but you never had a job, though.
That's bullshit, man.
Hey, man, look, I put a couple of job aps up in 'frisco.
Shit's tight in L.A.,
So I just need to stay a couple of weeks--
Oh, no, no, no-- Hey, look! Check it out!
Got a ten spot right here.
I ain't gonna stay for free neither.
You know what I'm talkin' about. There you go.
Right-- Yeah, that's right.
Where's the cable?
Dante, he's not staying that long.
If it was just a few days, I'd be cool with it,
but you're talking about a few weeks.
What do you want me to do?
Tell him to go stay somewhere else.
I...
I can't do that. that's my cousin.
Well, I can't go around pretending to be your roommate for that long.
You know what?
You can be so damn selfish sometimes.
Mark, I'm going to work.
When I get home...
I want this figured out.
Oh, okay.
So I'll figure it out.
Hey, man, it's gonna be like some old times, huh, Marky?
Yeah, I guess, man.
Hey, man you and me up late,
clubbin', parties, women.
Hey, T, help me get this stuff out of the way before Dante gets home.
Yeah, all right.
Is something wrong, cuz?
Hey, look, man, I can find another place to go.
Could you?
Hey, man, you know I got nowhere else to go.
You know what? It's cool, though.
There's a gazebo at the park--
T--T, look...
You know I was just playin', right?
You sure?
Hey, look, I know your boy don't want me here.
No, it's not that. he just, uh...
likes his neutral spaces to stay neutral.
You know, uh...
Your boy seems a little broke in the wrist.
Look, man...
there's something I need to tell you.
He is, isn't he? Oh, I knew it, man!
How'd you end up with a queer for a roommate?
Oh, I'm gonna tell your mom, man! What?
Oh, okay--No!
Yo, T, T, T, Dante is not gay.
That boy pull more bitches than I do.
What, to exchange beauty tips, man?
Man, I know a fudge packer when see one, please.
(chuckles) All right.
Hold up, hold up, hold up.
Are you and Dante-- Are you--
Oh, hell no! T--T...
get that out of your head right now.
Oh. Man.
Oh, man. See, I was about to say, man...
Oh, man.
I swear, that would have been too much for me to take, man.
I would have had to tell your mom, man.
Shit, I would have to kill you, man.
This would have been a whole mess. Dang!
- (cell phone rings) - Hold up.
(ring)
Hold up, man.
Speak.
No. No, Gina.
No, I ain't comin' back!
Well, you should have thought about that before you--
I'm at my cuz's, all right?
No, we're gonna handle this tomorrow.
Gina, no...
(speaking spanish)
D, I already know what you're gonna say,
But trust me, I had no other choice.
Mark, I'm not staying in this room, man.
Well, then I will.
What are you so afraid of?
I'm afraid of losing people.
I got a lot of family and friends that look up to me.
(announcer on tv) And with one minute left to go in the game,
the score remains exactly 97-98.
Hey, man you're missing the game, man.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Can't this wait until after the game?
No, it can't.
What, you're not into basketball?
- Not per se. - Football.
You probably one of them football cats, huh?
Not really.
Baseball? No.
Soccer? no.
Golf? Hockey? Women's volleyball?
Tennis.
He likes tennis.
Tennis.
Yeah.
It's the shit.
Man.
That guy's mighty strange.
Now I know you're not calling nobody strange, T.
Hey, man, you wanna get your ass whupped at some "bones"?
No, bro, I gotta go to work, man.
Oh, yeah.
That's right, man. Mr. paramedic, yo.
Ha!
At least there's one doctor in the family.
Man, I am not a doctor.
Oh, the hell you ain't, man.
Take off work and see don't somebody die, huh?
Yeah, man.
I look up to you, Marky.
No, man, really.
You always have everything I wanted, man,
Like good grades...
Good hair, man, and good women.
It's a phat apartment.
You know what, T, man?
Everything is not what it always appears to be.
What you mean, man?
- (cell phone rings) - Terrell--
Yo, hold that thought, cuz.
- Someone's blowing me up. - (ring)
Oh, snap.
Hold that thought, cuz.
Hey, what's up?
Yeah, I'm just chillin' over here at cuz's.
(announcer on tv) The second one falls in, too.
Time-out called on the court.
Oh! I need to get me a pair of those kicks.
It's a dope jacket, too.
I like the boots, too. those boots are flash.
Dang! I need to ask Marky to lend me some money
So I can get some kicks!
- Hey, Terrell. - Hey, what's up, man?
Could you keep it down a little?
Oh. Yeah, man, yeah. My bad.
Thanks.
You in a better mood?
I'm cool.
You wanna talk about it?
Nah. Good night.
You play "bones"?
Domino.
What? Man!
What'd you do that for, man?
Man.
That's some bullshit, man.
You just took me out of my three-month-long streak.
Where'd you lean to play like that?
Mark taught me. Oh, yeah?
Mm-hmm. Huh!
That's cool.
So, uh...
How long you been roommates?
Uh...About three years.
Ah.
That's a long time, man.
You ever think about getting your own place?
Uh, not anytime soon.
Rent is expensive in San Francisco.
Can't afford to go solo yet.
Yeah, but you know,
it must be crampin' your style having a roommate,
what with the honeys and everything.
(laughs)
Yeah, you know, you can't throw shit,
kick the walls or nothing.
You know what I'm sayin'?
So how do you know my cuz anyway?
We went to school together.
School. That's--That's-- That's fresh, man. That's fresh.
Yeah.
It's a nice pad.
You ever think about getting softer couches?
When we moved in here, we thought the place was kinda small.
So we bought a small couch.
I get that.
When we sat on it at the store, it was cool.
But then when we brought it home, it felt like bricks.
Then we decided we liked the windows,
so we kept the frames the way they were,
and we actually didn't make any changes to it.
We hated the wall color-- We didn't want to spend more--
We just got adjusted to it.
We bought a new oven-- We've done very well--
We...We...We...We...We...
We!
We.
...and we just made it work.
You all right?
Yeah. Yeah, man, I'm okay.
Well, I'm going to bed.
Check you out tomorrow.
(classical)
(vinyl record scratches)
Here's some blankets.
Oh, yeah. thanks.
Nice and neat. Thanks. Um...
Good night.
He is gay as a motherfucker.
D?
Hi, baby.
I'm so sorry.
I told him he could stay.
Thank you, baby.
- (cell phone rings) - Oh, shit!
(ring)
(whispering) What's up?
No, no, no, man. I'm asleep, man.
No. Look, we'll talk about this tomorrow. something went wrong.
(terrell) No. You know what time it is right now, okay?
Go to sleep.
No, no-- Yeah, yeah...Yeah.
No--Yeah, yeah. It's all good.
(knock on door)
(knock)
Hey. Hey.
What's up? I thought you were asleep.
Uh, yeah, yeah. Can I talk to you for a minute?
Yeah. What's up? Um...
I'm convinced that your boy's gay, man.
You came here just to tell me that?
Look, man, I'm serious. My gaydar is state-of-the-art.
T, I'm telling you right now,
D is not gay.
Man, you're just blind to the facts.
Good night, T. Hey, man--
Hey, man you better lock this door.
We're having company tomorrow.
Marky! Reggie!
What's up, man? Cool.
Surprised? Hell yeah!
You're the man.
T told me you was out here, man.
So you know as soon as I was in town,
I had to come see my boy.
How you been, man?
I'm cool. how you been?
You know, man.
Smokin' and blingin'.
That's all there is, baby.
Okay, so what you down here for?
Reggie's cutting his demo.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah?
Tryin' to get my fame on, you know.
What's up, man?
- Yeah, this is my-- - Reggie.
- What's up? Dante. - Yeah. cool.
What you all negroes wanna do tonight?
Larry's classy lady.
- Larry's classy lady, huh? - Yeah.
Man, whatever. All right, what's up?
Uh...
So hurry up and get dressed. Let's go, man.
Hurry up so we can go.
(laughs)
Yeah.
Okay, man.
Hey, you about ready?
Who is he again?
Uh...
He's just a friend from the old neighborhood.
Okay.
Could you, uh... Beef it up tonight?
What?
You know, you've been, uh... a little sloppy lately.
What's that supposed to mean?
It means that you're doing something
that had my cousin thinking that you're gay.
Where did this come from?
I don't know, but that boy's convinced.
All I'm saying is-- (laughs)
All I'm saying is, Dante, just keep it tight, all right?
Here, let me fix your shirt.
Just keep it tight.
I'm gonna go ahead and chill with the fellas, all right?
(R&B)
mm-hmm
Yeah, remember when Terrell put the water hose
in Mr. Baker's mailbox?
Oh, man! I forgot about that shit, man!
Man, we were some bad little motherfuckers, man.
Oh, shit.
Remember Tanya? Tanya?
Mark remembers Tanya, don't you, Marky?
No.
Come on, man, Tanya Laurie?
(Mark) Uh-uh.
"bobbing for apples" Tanya?
- Oh. - Yeah, yeah.
I knew it would come to you.
Yeah, I remember her. She was fine as hell, huh?
I know, right? Yeah.
Man, Mark used to get all the bad bitches back in the day.
Is that still how it is, Marky?
Huh? Hmm?
- Do ducks still quack? - That's my boy!
That's my boy!
(laughs)
(man) Work it! Work it!
Oh, man.
If they start voguing, man, I'm out.
Ain't there girls in this place, man?
That's what I've been waiting on.
Check the one in the gold, man.
She's magnificent, man.
You think you can hit that, Marky?
Ah...No.
I'm gonna leave that for you, playboy.
Aw.
Man, you know she's out of my league, a little bit, player.
That's more your speed.
Or your man Dante over here.
She's bad.
But not my type.
Oh, man, please.
Women are your type.
All right, all right.
(Terrell) Oh, shit, man.
That one's for you, player.
That one's for you.
Go on, man, she's beggin' for it.
Come on, man.
Get your ass over there, let's go.
I'll tell your mom.
There you go.
But y'all know how I used to do, right?
Used to do? That's the word.
Used to do.
Change that from past tense.
Man, that nigger still gets all the women, huh?
Damn.
Not all, player.
There's still one more left.
Are you okay?
Huh?
yeah. I'm cool.
You want another drink?
Sure.
What can I get you guys?
I'll take a gin and tonic and... what you want?
Vodka, straight up.
Okay. Gin and tonic, vodka, straight up.
I'm fucked up, man.
What are you talking about?
That's a gin and tonic, vodka, straight up.
Thanks, man.
I know about you, man.
What do you know?
I know.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. I brought you here to fuck with you, man.
You know, fuck with your head?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
You see, the funny part is is, like, uh...
I'm the one who's fucked up.
Yeah.
Yeah, I used to have this guy who used to live up the street from me, man.
Always acted like a little girl, you know what I'm sayin'?
Like, he didn't give a fuck.
I couldn't stand seeing him.
Yeah.
You see, the fucked up part about it is...
I hated what I saw in him.
I hated him...
Because he was just like me.
(Williams) Meet Terrell wiggins.
Fuck me!
I can't even stay in a relationship for more than five minutes
because I can't decide if I like pussy or dick more.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Hey, man, you can't tell Mark, all right?
Dante?
I'm sorry, but I...
I can't do this.
Damn, I gotta piss, man!
Dante.
I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean for that to happen.
Look...
You need to tell Terrell what's up.
I'm not ready for that, D. you know that!
It's not gonna be as hard as you think.
You think you know everything, don't you?
I'm telling you, he's not gonna be cool with this.
Cool with what, man?
T. Huh?
You and Mark should talk.
Uh, about what?
About what you told me.
It's cool.
Trust me.
(chuckles nervously)
All right.
Well...What Dante and I were talking about was, uh...
Uh...
(mumbles)
What we were saying...
Was, uh...
With--With him being gay, uh...
It's not that, uh...
It's not-- It's not cool,
you know what I'm sayin'?
Yeah. and--And, you know,
it's--It's a sin.
What are you--
No, for real, man! All right?
I'm a little uncomfortable with you being like that.
I just prefer you just stay away from me.
You're kinda nasty--
All, right, all right. Fuck this!
All right, T, you wanna know the truth?
Dante and l...
Have been in a relationship for the past three years.
There you go.
(doorbell rings)
What's up, y'all?
Hey, uh...
I'm headed back to L.A. tomorrow, man. I'm out.
Yeah. uh, cool, man.
So that's it, man.
Yeah. All right.
I wanna work on the tracks, man.
Nah, man.
Your heart's not in it.
No, I mean it, man,
I wanna work on that collab, man.
Then it has to be for real this time.
Yeah, I know. I know.
I'm for real, man.
(Williams) Meet Reginald Stokes.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Well, I guess this is it, huh?
Yeah.
Don't make this shit sappy, man.
Gimme some love, man!
All right.
Come on, D. You, too, Dante, man, come on!
Let's see what you got.
Oh, man!
(laughing)
Bye, Regina.
All right, man. (laughs)
See ya later.
Love you guys, man.
I love you, too, man.
And, Mark, the secret's safe with me.
I appreciate that.
Same here, baby.
Oh, cool. Thanks.
Well...
Yeah...later, faggots.
(laughs)
We gotta plane to catch, man.
- You ready? - Yeah, man.
All right.
Hey.
Baby steps.
(Williams) The paradox when playing the ultimate game,
the game of life,
is that you can't quit.
You can't throw in your hand.
Yet the only way to win the game
is to stop playing.
(latin)
(Mark) Hey, momma, how you doing?
(woman) Marky?
Yeah, yeah, it's me. how you doing?
Uh...
I got something I need to tell you.
Okay, baby, I already know you gay.
Terrell done already told me.
(phone hits table)
Terrell!