Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com
Okay, go.
Oh!
Oh, my God!
One last thing.
♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
Welcome to Ridiculousness.
I'm Rob Dyrdek.
With me, as always, Chanel West Coast and Steelo Brim.
All right, today's guest is built for this show.
Professional skateboarder, star of Jackass, his very own show
Viva La Bam, and an all-around insane human being, Bam Margera.
I'm Bam Margera, and I feel like kicking my dad's ass all day today.
♪ I'm gonna make ♪
♪ your ears bleed ♪
♪ fucking bones, fucking ones ♪
♪ I'm gonna kick ♪
♪ your fucking bones ♪
Bam. Bam!
Bam! Don't you dare fall.
Fuck!
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Bam Margera.
Welcome, welcome.
Let's have some fun.
Hi. How are you?
We got rappers all over this place.
Tell these people about what you've been doing lately.
I've been doing some songs called, uh... I go by fuckingface unstoppable.
Okay, wait.
Fuckingface unstoppable.
That's it, right?
And I do songs such as... ♪ I wanna bend my dick ♪
♪ around the back of my ass ♪
♪ so I can fuck myself ♪
♪ yo, hell, no ♪
Yes!
Okay, Bam, we have a category on this show called "Your Friend's A Dick."
Okay?
And I believe that you're the pioneer of this.
I mean, sure, I'll take a little bit of credit.
Give him credit. Give him credit.
Okay, check this out.
This isn't like, oh, this is something he used to do.
He brought footage of him being a dick to his friend not even two days ago.
Take a look at this.
He made us miss our flights twice, so this is what he gets.
And then this is what you get for it.
Okay, what went on his face?
It was in Florida, so it was a bunch of hot trash and just
- minging-ass wet beer cans and... - I don't know if this is true,
but I heard Floridians shit
in trash cans.
It was right by the beach, and I did see a bum.
It could've happened.
Okay.
All right, ode to you.
The very fun category of "Your Friend's A Dick."
♪ Thank you for being ♪
♪ a friend ♪
Yeah, come on in.
Come on in, man.
How about I punch you in the dick?
Oh, I'm having so much fun.
I touched your fucking dick.
Teeter-totters.
This dude learned from you.
This is a pure fan.
Well, the joke's on him because he wasted all that beer.
Dunk!
Oh!
This is strange.
Oh, my God, does it hurt?
Oh, now, it does.
How about a little bit of this?
Fuck you, bitch!
You know that the violent person with the bat's hiding the
deepest, you know I mean?
She's so violent.
Right now.
Yeah!
Whoo!
What the fuck?
His whole ass is out at the end.
The scary thing is is he obviously wears this thing a lot
if he's got a tan line like that.
I'ma get my shoes off for this one.
This is gonna be crazy.
Oh!
You okay?
You're a real dick.
He has a real-ass scorpion.
His foot really taps the back of his head.
Stop! Look at that!
A pale-ass scorpion right there.
I can barely see it.
It's like a ghost, man.
I didn't even know you could scorpion it right against a wall either.
This is mega-fucked, asshole... This is your friend's a
fuckingface, you know what I mean?
I would delete him from my friends list.
Okay, Bam, you know, as a skateboarder, we know what it's like to flail.
Take a look at this, and you describe what happens here to me.
Bam, Ollie's in.
And he's flailing, he's flying.
What do we call that motion in the air?
Uh, "Oh, no, what the fuck
am I gonna do with myself?"
"How am I gonna land properly on this motherfucker?"
The "What the fuck am I gonna properly do with myself"
is what we like to call "Air Dancing."
Go high. Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick!
Oh!
That's not bad.
Uh-oh.
Sky dance to face slap.
Oh!
Oh, two fun guys air dancing.
Time to go to sleep.
It never gets old to me to see someone go to sleep.
Yea!
Oh!
Hold on a second.
Hold on, hold on.
"Hold on a second.
Little Joey blew his butt out."
Oh, it's gonna be so amazing.
Oh!
It looked like he got nervous in the air, was just like...
It makes total sense that he's air dancing, 'cause they
all got on MC hammer pants.
♪ I'm going air dancing tonight ♪
Face plant?
The international word for hitting your face.
Oh, the face plant.
Here we go, air dancing.
Boom!
Well, you good? I'm good.
You good?
Play it, high speed.
Pause it, pause it.
Okay, now, look.
This dude's air dancing his fucking heart out right now, okay?
But this is what happens when you're watching your friend
about to take a catastrophic slam.
You slam too, watch this.
Okay.
I don't ever wanna fall like that in my life.
We'll be right back with more Ridiculousness.
♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
Welcome back to Ridiculousness.
We are here with Bam Margera.
All right, Bam.
We got some footage of you breaking your tailbone.
Tell me what that's like.
That's never happened to me.
Probably the worst thing to break because there is nothing
you can do about it, and you can't even sit.
All right, let's take a look at bam breaking his tailbone.
Pop! What happened?
Yo, my fucking tailbone is seriously broken.
Okay, look at that.
That's real pain right there, okay?
Right after that happened, I had to get on a five-hour
flight, and I'm sitting next to this businessman like this.
And this is not comfortable at all for me, so...
So we have a category called "Tailboners."
Take a look.
Flip to the crack.
Oh!
Scream if it hurts.
Whoo!
You know it's broken when you pucker up and you can't walk.
Oh.
Just disappears behind the ball.
He just vanished.
Uh-oh.
I can't even count how many times that's happened to me.
Hey!
Got a great idea.
I'm gonna jump this can.
Oh! Pucker up, it's broken.
You can't do nothing extreme in crocs, playboy.
I'm from out of this world!
Oh! Oh!
And not only that...
I broke my tailbone and shitted my pants at the same time.
That's terrible.
I don't ever wanna go through that pain.
I hope I never do.
Bam, tell me about where you got your name, man.
I was like maybe three years old, four, something like that.
I kept just jumping off coffee tables, smashing in to the wall
and stuff, and my grandpop... he started calling me Bamm-Bamm.
And then, as the older I got, it just got shortened to just Bam.
Okay, so what we have is a category dedicated to the mini
version of you as a child... called "Mini Bams."
Take a look.
You gonna sit back there with Ba-Bear?
Uh, not along with bear.
I wanna headbutt something.
Go ahead, man.
Double up!
Two Bams, one board.
They fell in the exact same position.
That's so cute.
Skip the first ramp, go for the second one!
Oh, look, I just learned to ride my face.
Oh, you got... you made it.
You made it, you made it, you made it.
No, you didn't.
Hey, this little Bam has to learn how to get his hands down first.
Little Bam.
Dad said my helmet didn't need a face mask.
He stiff-armed the shit
out of him.
"It was either me or you, boy, and you gotta go down."
Me or you.
I can't take another slam.
♪ I'm a little German boy ♪
Oh.
He's like 27.
Little baby ninja.
Hit it and go, baby, hit it and go.
Oh!
You're either too young for this bike, or too old to have a
pacifier in your mouth, first of all.
Okay, stop.
Right there.
Look at that, man!
You've seen these mini bikes for years, and it's perfectly built
for a two-year-old.
Go ahead, you little speed demon.
Roll it out!
Okay, God bless mini Bams, ladies and gentlemen.
Future Bams right here.
All right, we'll be right back with more Ridiculousness.
Don't go anywhere.
♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
Now, we have the actual X-ray of the broken tailbone.
We were wondering if Chanel would be able to point out
- which bone is the tailbone. - Oh, my God.
All right. So, there's a lot of bones on the backside.
But there's one specifically that's the tailbone.
Okay...
I would say it's this, but that looks like a penis.
Welcome back to Ridiculousness.
We are here with a man who is deathly afraid of snakes.
True or untrue?
I'm terrified of snakes, but I especially am when they're
near Jackass dudes, 'cause that... all that means is
"we're gonna throw it on Bam."
Let's take a look at when these guys decided to scare Bam
in the realest way.
Take a look at this clip from Jackass.
What... oh, fuck!
Aah! No! Aah!
Those ain't real.
Get me the fuck out of here.
I want out.
Bam, Bam.
What, what, what?
Don't do this to me.
No!
Dude, this thing is hard for me to watch, man.
Dude, stop, stop.
Hey, Bam.
Bam.
Dude, I fucking hate you guys.
Okay.
You're the man.
Okay.
What we saw on your face was pure terror.
Right.
So we have dedicated a category to that fear face.
"Pure Terror." Take a look.
♪ Austin, wake up ♪
Uh-oh, looks like Austin might be dead.
Oh, my God!
"Oh, my God!"
"I love video games.
Oh, but not spiders!"
Whoa!
Ooohhh!
Aww!
It's time to teach this baby fear.
Bleh!
This is what happens when you choose to eat your roommate's food.
Aah!
Survival instincts kicking in right now.
Uh-oh.
Yeah!
Yes!
Great, Mark.
As usual, scared all the fuck away.
"Yeah.
Yeah, I'm looking good today."
Aah! Shit! Fuck!
Pure terror.
Shit! Fuck!
Get the fuck out.
Just get the fuck out.
"Bro, bro, I can't go through this again.
Just get the fuck out.
You just sat through 20 minutes of me taking a shit".
You know what I'm saying?
He's like, "oh, fuck."
Okay, this next category is all about hitting your nuts, man.
I mean, how many times in your skateboarding career do you
think you've slammed your nuts on a rail?
Oh, man, there's been quite a few, but, uh, there was one last one.
It was a 13-stair rail.
And, uh, after that, I realized I didn't like skating or handrails anymore.
Okay.
Ladies and gentlemen, you are going to see firsthand why this
guy decided to walk away from handrails forever.
Watch this.
Dive.
Yep.
You had the best of 'em.
I know what that's like.
I know it's painful.
And to me, that is very next level.
So we've created a category called "Next Level Nut Slams."
Take a look.
All right, high-altitude pogo.
Oh, my God, I fell on my balls.
Climb high... to my nuts.
Not many people slam their nuts on the bottom side of a bike frame.
"Oh, tap it, tap it!
Oh, I don't want to be here, but I like it."
What is this, man?
I don't get this.
"Can I get a little bit of hoof?
Oh, now we're talking.
Now we're... thumbs up, guys!"
Look at his face, though.
This guy's in so much pain.
"I finally got my meat beat by an elephant."
Let's talk about kids and condoms.
This is how you put it on.
Ow!
I'm gonna be real.
I would put my condoms on like that.
You ready? Let's go!
Hillbilly vasectomy.
Oh!
One must be sacrificed.
Oh, yeah!
Pogo!
"Give me a sec.
I know exactly how we can park in these handicap spots."
Oh!
Oh, my God!
This is as pure as it gets.
That thing was built to destroy your nuts, right?
And look at the power nut shot.
He's at least 200 pounds.
Go ahead.
Ooh!
It's as funny to him as it is to us.
It never gets old to see a giant man blowing out his nut sack.
We will be right back with more Ridiculousness.
♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
Welcome back to Ridiculousness.
We are here with Bam Margera.
All right, Bam, you invented getting nutty with a shopping cut.
Where does that even come from?
We were just skateboardin'
a parking lot with a few friends, and, uh... heh... I told
my buddy to get in one, and I just pushed him full speed into
a curb, and I just remember we were all laughing so hard that I
just kept filming it and filming it and filming it.
Okay, what that did was basically spawn an entire
generation of people that grab a camera and run out and try to
kill themselves in a shopping cart, okay?
And we have a pretty decent amount of them right here.
"Crash Carts." Take a look.
"High-speed locker fun!"
Oh!
This is a horrible way to try to get in your trunk.
Put the leg back in, put the leg back in!
Oh!
This guy learned quick.
"I'm out, I'm out."
Faster!
Go!
Don't go!
That was just a prime time failure.
She didn't even make it two feet.
- You really do... - Get out of the library.
Blue light special on...
Talk about bad timing.
Like, I wonder how scared she was.
She was minding her own damn business.
He might have ended up in her cart.
You hear her scream a little bit.
Aah!
I'm going with her.
"I'd like to return my girlfriend, please.
I have the receipt."
Don't let her fall.
Oh!
Okay, he was there to protect her, and he ended up smashing
her with his big, fat body weight.
Man, she's a mess!
Ladies and gentlemen, look what Bam inspired.
You're the man.
Yeah!
Okay, check it out.
We are at the portion of the show where we've taken two
search words and we found a video.
And we want to see if Chanel can guess what it might be.
And today's two words... "Poison Boobs."
So when you think "poison boob," what's the first thing
that comes to your mind?
I just imagine, like, some, like, bad implants, like, exploding.
Okay, okay.
Let's take a look at what we found when we searched "poison boobs."
"Oh, I want to lick you, so good!
Aah!
It's on her tee-tee!
Twist it, twist it, twist it!
"Twist it, twist it, twist it!"
Oh, man!
It's on her tee-tee!
"You take a tee-tee!"
Go back, get it, get it.
I want you to understand how horny this snake is, man.
That thing is all nipple, man.
Let it... let it get... look.
Oh, my God!
Look at the tug of painful war on that nipple.
Look at it.
Does it feel good or does it feel amazing?
Ooh, dirty porn!
All right, ladies and gentlemen, that is it for today's show.
Thank you, Bam, for coming out.
We will see you next time on Ridiculousness.
♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com
Aah!
Unh!
Aah!