Is that a cow?
Dad gave it to me in... my sixth grade.
Load up the sea serpent.
Heard he talked about a sea serpent, I thought maybe I'd pay her a visit.
Mewling quim!
It's no sea serpent. I think it's a submarine
Bosse has smuggled loads of drugs.
-Is he dead or not? -Not quite.
Let's raidiate!
-Salamander? -Yes?
It's Fiks.
What's up?
I must return to Oslo.
This is Salmander's voicemail. Can't reply, leave a message after the beep.
Hi Salmander, this is Johanne.
AUNTIE COZY
Why didn't you tell me?
About you...
-Don't know. -Only being here for 3 months, that you...
had been fired and... stuff?
Because it was embarrassing.
I was going to...
I thought...
in my stupidity, that...
If I did a fantastic job up here
as a policeman, then...
they'd hire me again.
And...
Now it's all over.
Now they'll surely send up a...
new boyfriend.
A new... new policeman... who can...
take over.
Salmander, we're so close to solving this whole case.
You have done a fantastic job here.
You have to inform your boss about everything we've investigated and found out.
Tell him, and I'm sure you'll get your job back.
No, I...
I don't know. Don't know.
I've really... never...
ever...
Go back to Oslo and meet up with your boss,
report what you've seen here, and ask him to send you back.
OK.
-OK? -OK.
Good.
-Good. -You...
OK.
I seem to remember saying that I never wanted to see you again.
-It's about Hellfjord. -Loose the gum!
-So, Hellfjord? -I must go back as policeman.
You're no longer a policeman.
-I think something is happening up there. -Oh yeah?
Well, you've got...
-One minute. -Yes.
Starting... now!
When I came up there, we saw... a man killed with a cellphone.
He... There's a sea serpent there.
Well, not a sea serpent, but a submarine disguised as one.
But anyway, at the fish plant, a Swede is working there,
they're boiling pigs bones, and there's blood everywhere.
And Bosse Nova, he's one of those heroin guys. He's done this before.
From the plant, a guy came and attacked me at home with a knife,
-a knife from the fish plant. -Right. Salamander?
-Yes? -Not a word more!
There is someone in this room who has read too much Donald Duck.
This is all true.
-And you can prove it? -Yes, Kobba. Just call the bent old man.
You can see that
I see a desperate loser doing anything to get a job by telling ridiculous tall tales.
-Cactus lice. -What?
Boxes of cactus lice outside the fish plant. Can you explain that?
-Cactus lice? -And under the deceased's nails.
Cactus lice? That proves nothing. It's very common.
They use cactus lice in... in candy, sweets, gelatin.
It's being used in lots of things, it's very common.
Salmander, I'll confide something to you. Know what I've found out?
The shopping mall has a vacancy as restroom watch.
Throw, it in the lavatory.
At the mall.
Fish cake?
It's quiet here without Salmander.
Yes, it was, until you started yakking.
So...
You don't miss him at all?
Miss him? One misses the good conversation.
It's not as if you have much to offer.
You can bake and fire a pistol and... fuck and cook and
wash and vacuum and clean.
Walk the dog, and make a damn good bacalao.
Cut my nails and...
Sew. Otherwise, you don't even speak Norwegian.
No.
I can not speak Norwegian.
Have some.
What did you put in? Are they made from vomit?
Yes, come on, people!
Hurry up, hurry up!
Sure, it's under control.
Yes, he's gone.
Next delivery will be as planned, it'll be a huge one.
No, they're working really hard down there, doing their best.
Fuck.
THE BIG BLUE
I'll have cod with potatoes and a glass of ice water.
Oh my god.
Of course.
Do you know that in Iran they cut thieves' fingers off?
And what do they do with drug felons?
I don't know, actually.
But I wanted to say something cool, cause "Uncle Buck, you know what?" wasn't scary.
Take her along.
HEROIN IN FISH EYES
Something wrong with the fish?
You forgot to pay.
I didn't eat anything.
That's the wrong way.
Hey!
-What the hell are you doing? -Checking the fish.
-In English, motherfucker. -I'm a fish inspector, inspecting the fish.
I'm looking at the sex of your fish, male and female, and I'm satisfied.
Well, OK, I'm going to go now. Thank you.
You're not going until I find out what you're doing.
Thank you for the hug.
OK.
Look! Ben Johnson!
Shouldn't be doing that alone.
Shit!
-You're gonna die! -Yes, you are!
-What is that? -I won't say anything.
In English, motherfucker!
What is this? This is no fucking fish eye.
Gelatin.
This option is not available now. Please try again later.
You're quite... nosy, little lady.
Found out some things about you, Bosse Nova.
I see.
But this time...
you're going to die because you are a nosy parker.
You've reached Johanne's voicemail.
Hi, call when you can, I've phoned you lots of times.
I've found out about Bosse and what he's up to.
I'm coming up north as soon as I can. Call me back. Bye.
You know hat?
This community was a quiet, peaceful, harmonious place
until you and your 'friend" poked your noses into our little, delicious fruit salad.
Hopefully it will return to that when you disappear.
Hi, this is Kobba. Sorry, I cant answer the phone
right now, so just... Shut up!Silence!Be quiet!
Riina! Get that mongrel out before I shoot her in the head.
I know how you distribute the heroin. But how do you get it to Hellfjord?
Yes, of course I will explain that... NOT!
I've seen far too many James Bond movies to let me... Yes.
What you don't know...
can... hurt you.
Fuck it, what... Riina, where's the phone booklet?
Right in front of me, let's see...
Change the dust bag... Vacuum...
Well, fuck that, let's forget this nonsense. Jan. Thomas.
Take her down to the sea. Chop off an arm, a leg and throw her in...
Blame the sea serpent.
You know what? Next week I'll win the Hellquiz.
Killevippen.
...so just leave a message after the beep
Kobba, it's Salmander. Call me back.
I've phoned you several times. Get a new reply message, a brief one. Bye.
Help!
No!