Coming back. Nice, nice and slow.
Looking good. (chuckles)
What is she doing?
She's flirting with your neighbor.
Ew, gross! I just washed that car.
Help me... Oh!
Oh... Ooh.
Did I just hit it? Nope, no, it's fine.
This is like the saddest mating ritual ever.
Okay, bye.
Bye. Okay.
(singsongy): Who wants bagels?!
I do! My name is Kate.
You got more bagels? What is this, Yom Kippur?
BJ: She's inventing reasons to go out so she can
bump into Will. She's taking it slow.
It's a plan she calls "Operation..."
BOTH: ...Crock-Pot."
You cook it slow. You flirt a little bit here,
you flirt a little bit there,
and then three months later, boom, it's done.
I'm ready to eat. It's delicious.
I don't know about this guy.
He's too, like, Captain America.
Like, "Oh, I got a square jaw."
"I've got white, perfect teeth. You know,
they're straight." Can't trust a guy like that.
No, I feel like I need to do some recon on the guy.
See if he's worthy of the Fox name.
I mean, he would obviously be taking your name, right?
No recon, okay? He's a really good guy.
And he's super sensitive.
On Halloween, when I met him,
he practically cried in front of me.
I could cry on Halloween. I could cry right now.
Go on. Cry.
Cry right now. Fine.
Okay, the death of jazz, Iron Giant,
(voice breaks): the possibility of Iron Giant II.
The story about the elephant, you know,
who forms an unlikely friendship with a little dog.
Okay, starting over.
Mrs. West wanted me to remind you about Career Day.
Oh, did she?
Career Day? What?
Where moms and dads come to class
and talk about their careers.
Thank you. I can read.
Wait. You didn't ask me 'cause I'm not your dad?
No, because you don't have a career. Wow.
(laughing)
(sniffling)
BJ: What? Sorry.
I was just thinking about the...
the dog and the elephant
and how they're friends, and it's just,
it's really sweet because one's so big,
the other one's so little.
And, like, really unexpected because...
'cause of the different sizes.
Sorry.
♪ Wake up, look around
♪ There's a feeling today
♪ Fall down, get up again
♪ Get in the game
♪ Hey, hey, hey
♪ We're all here anyway.
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/
All right, so this is
my competition for Career Day, huh?
I can totally take these guys.
What's that guy do? He's a pilot.
Oh, well, that's not fair. I mean, that's awesome.
What about this one? What's this dad do?
He has a landscaping business. Slash?
That's it. That's it?
No landscaper/ herbalist/mushroom hunter?
You don't have to come to Career Day.
You can come to the ice cream social.
Is that all I am to you,
just someone to be social with over a frozen dessert?
No, I will be at that Career Day,
Maddie, okay, with a career and everything, I promise you.
It's in two days. No problem.
But, you know, definitely put me down
for that ice cream thing, okay? Plus two.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, I got to do some recon for your mom.
Go, uh, find a book or something.
Hey, Will!
Willy! Bill!
Billiam! Hey.
Kate's brother, right?
Yeah, man. Hey.
This is my daughter Shelley.
Ah, hi, Shelley.
That's an awesome name.
That's also an awesome backpack.
Yeah, big fan of bumblebees and flowers.
And purple. (chuckles)
So what kind of stuff are you into, bro?
I really like where Will and I are at... the simmering stage.
You know, the lid is on, the carrots are softening.
Hey, Kenny. Hello.
Did you see that?
See what? Oh, that face!
No. Since I got the raise,
he has been giving me a lot of attitude.
Maybe that's because you're late every day.
And you also don't actually ever do
any real work when you're here.
And you just started sleeping with the boss.
And now you.
You don't think that I should
maybe, like, turn the heat up on Operation Crock-Pot?
How long has it been since you had sex?
Couple months.
How many? 57.
You see, Maddie, every great entrepreneur keeps a list
of potential business ideas for the moment
when his niece springs Career Day on him
at the last minute.
All right, what do we got, Tommy?
Number one: revive the American railroad industry.
Such a rock-solid idea.
Probably bigger than a two-day thing, though.
Two: biodegradable cell phones. I like that idea.
Why didn't we put a pin in that?
We were unable to create a prototype that made
or received phone calls.
Okay, okay, that makes sense.
Three: get the 200 crates of wine from underground storage
and sell it to the finest bistros. Ooh.
Wait, what crates of wine? You remember, summer of '95?
I had the tan of my life working on that vineyard
in the south of France?
Ah, Veronique. Who's Veronique?
She, uh... she was a woman friend of mine.
A French woman, if you must know.
And we made wine together.
After her husband died... later, to be determined by natural causes,
obviously, Yeah.
she sent me crates of wine
as a reminder of our time together.
You know, this might be worth something.
The ladies down at the country club
are always talking about "wine o'clock."
This is a good idea. This is a really...
I like the way this feels, Tommy, you know?
I could see us in the spirits game.
Is that where you hunt ghosts?
(chuckles)
Get out.
I'm serious. Get out of here.
You get out of here.
It's like she's not even listening.
(glass breaks)
Where did this come from?
And don't say you found it,
because I will not testify on your behalf.
Hello. Ben Fox, local wine merchant.
Wine merchant? Dude, don't let Maddie's thing
get in your head, okay?
Nothing's in my head. I'm excited by it, you know?
Will thought it was a good idea, too.
Will? Yeah, I talked to him.
You know, just suss him out just like we talked about.
No, that's not what... I specifically said no sussing.
Do not suss.
Relax, okay? He seems like a good guy so far.
But I need to see the two of you guys together.
Absolutely not under any circumstances ever.
Hypothetically. Okay, let's just say,
you know, he came over with some ground beef, you know,
and I added my signature blend of spices
and we threw it on the grill and the three of us,
you know, spend some quality time together.
No, that sounds like the worst thing in the world.
Okay, sort of starting to think
that maybe you're not into the hypothetical.
No.
So what if it was happening in real time?
WILL: Oh, hey, Kate.
Hey!
I got the grill going.
Will's here! Yay!
Hi. I'm Will.
I'm Kate.
Did I buy way too much meat? I thought
there was gonna be more people. Oh, yeah, no, no.
There's a ton of neighbors coming
to this impromptu nighttime barbecue.
Yeah, probably just running late, you know?
(chuckles) Ever done any time, Will?
KATE: Oh, my God, that is so funny. He means, like...
like, "What's the craziest thing you've ever done?"
You know, like a fun question to ask at parties.
Me and my buddies went streaking in
downtown San Antonio after our swim team won State.
So, naked-naked swimmers in the street?
Public indecency, yeah. Not off to a great start, Will.
So what do you do when you're not flapping about?
Well, I'm a social worker for at-risk youth.
Slash...? That's it.
Oh, sounds a lot like charity work.
But good for you.
Me, I am in the wine business.
As of, like, an hour ago.
And this haughty but accessible number
goes by the name "Veronique." Hmm.
Yeah, it's got flavors of cherry and cigar and bark.
Bark? Yeah, hints.
Here we go.
Top you off.
Cheers to, uh... to getting to know you.
The real you.
Eye contact?
Ben, that's not... Shh...
Hold it.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
(slurping)
I'm really sorry that nobody else showed up.
I think everybody hates me.
Or maybe it's because your brother
invented a fake night barbecue
just to get me over here.
What?! Just saying.
That's crazy. Only a complete lunatic
would do something like that.
(both chuckle)
Yeah, yeah, you're right. Everybody probably hates you.
I'm glad I finally got a chance to hang out with you.
Me, too.
I'd love to take you out for a proper meal.
Maybe tomorrow night?
Yeah. Yes.
That would be great. Yeah?
I could be here by 7:00.
Then that is when I will see you
with my looking balls.
Okay.
Good night.
Kenny, I'm still waiting on the order for table five.
Kenny, stop being a child.
Kenny, Kenny, Kenny.
Kenny! Kenny!
Kenny-Kenny-Kenny- Kenny-Kenny-Kenny-
Kenny-Kenny-Kenny-Kenny- Kenny-Kenny-
Kenny-Kenny-Kenny-Kenny-Kenny- Kenny-Kenny-Kenny.
(gasps)
What? Skinned my shoulder!
So, I have you down for zero cases of wine,
and I will never call this number again.
Okay, bye.
Dude, this is ridiculous. You've called every
wine bar in town and not a single appointment?
This is a tough industry to break into
especially if you're an unknown.
Not unlike our experiences
with the clique-y world of meteorology.
Oh! Dude, what are we gonna do? I mean, what's our move here?
Maddie's Career Day is right on my ass.
Want me to play the race card? I'll do it.
I haven't played it in so long.
I want to just get in somebody's face
and be like, "Ah, you racist!"
I can be a old black man:
"Boy, now, my son came in there
"and you turned him away 'cause his skin color.
Let him get people drunk!"
And I can be my uncle:
"Hey, man, you better let my cousin,
my nephew get in there and sell wine."
No, I feel like we should hold onto it. (doorbell rings)
Oh, boy.
Look at you. You're the devil, you know that?
All right, what do we got here?
You know what? Just take all of it, you little pushers.
Take all of it!
Give me the cookies. Get out of here.
Thanks again for childhood obesity.
All right, where was I?
Oh, right.
How to sell wine without any contacts.
We need to cut out the middleman. Exactly.
We go straight to the buyer. Mm-hmm.
You know, streamline it. Take it right to the people.
It's like we're right on a precipice. Edge on over.
We're right on the edge of something. I feel like we should...
First of all, we got to leave the house.
Knock on the door and say,
"Hey, we have something to sell."
All we have to do
is start turning the knob slowly.
First of all, we just head through the door
and go inside the house.
Customer's always right, no matter what. Now we're talking to people.
That's right. That's the way you run a business. Mm-hmm.
BOTH: That is the way you run a business. Mm-hmm.
Oh, hi there.
Is your mom here?
(chuckles) I'm just kidding.
I'm here for you, Mom. (doorbell rings)
Who has time to take care of the kids,
go to Pilates, satisfy their husbands
and go to the store to buy wine?
Right? Not me.
I don't know about you,
but as soon as my little one's
off to school, I'm like, "Waiter!"
(laughing)
Yes.
What's happening?
What?
Let's party. You know what I'm saying?
Okay.
In a strictly platonic way.
How are you? My name is Ben Fox. Yeah.
Just ignore him.
(giggles)
It's just become such a hostile environment,
you know, at work.
Now Kenny's turned the entire kitchen staff
against me. I mean, have you ever
actually had a conversation with any of these guys?
Yeah, I see your point.
Let's call this Operation Reputation Rehabilitation.
Do we name too many operations?
Yeah. Yeah?
Man.
Are you applying for an adjustable rate mortgage? I'll have you know
that I am revolutionizing the adult beverage industry.
I'm throwing a little wine tasting here tonight.
Is that what you're wearing, or...
(knocking on door) I'll get it.
Ben, no! Kate...
I'm just gonna shake the guy's hand. Okay?
Nothing weird.
You have my blessing, okay? I don't need your blessing.
Well, too late. Already been blessed.
Take it back, Ben. Can't unbless.
Ben, stop. Blessed!
Hey, Will.
Ben. How are you? Good to see you.
Is that what you're wearing?
KATE: Here I come.
Please stop talking. Okay.
All right, well...
Listen. Have a great time.
Thanks. Yeah.
Listen to me right now, okay?
You take care of her.
You treat her right.
Okay? She's not as strong as she looks.
She spooks easy, so she needs everything to be perfect. O-Okay.
She's especially terrified of people leaving her,
so if she even smells that on you,
she will run, boy. Okay.
She also hasn't been with anybody physically
in a very long time.
So there's gonna be a lot of pressure on that.
I don't want any details, but just so you're aware of it.
You got it?
KATE: Ready? Okay.
Great. Ready?
Are you ready? Yeah, you bet.
Have fun with my sister.
You guys have a great time!
Fasten your seat belts and no texting, okay?
A lot of great people die horrifically that way.
KATE: Thanks, Ben.
This is really fun. It's been a really long time
since I've had, like, an actual adult night out.
You know?
Oh, I know. Yeah.
Not that there's any pressure to make it adult.
I mean, who's to say what "adult" means anyway?
(chuckles)
Would you excuse me for a second?
I'm... I just got to run to the bathroom.
Not that I'm running.
"Run" is a bad choice of words.
I'm-I'm not gonna really run anywhere.
As a matter of fact, you know what?
I'm gonna go ahead and... I'm gonna leave my watch.
And, uh... and my wallet. Um...
Just hold onto that. I will be right back.
Okay...
Sometimes, I want a time-out.
You know? Sometimes I want my mommy juice,
and I don't want to feel bad about it.
My secret weapon... voilÃ .
(gasps) Wine-sicles.
Cold, refreshing, alcoholic.
Hey, Ron.
Come pick me up.
I'm at a tasting.
Oh, Ben, you are so bad.
(laughs)
No more. Okay.
Maybe a little more. (laughing) Oh! All right.
Yeah, I'm drunk.
You're fat. So what?
Let me talk to him. Hey, bud.
Not to worry. She's in good hands.
Super manly hands.
(laughing)
Can I talk to you? One sec.
(laughing): Oh, that was...
Be careful of Joanne and Ron.
The belong to the country club,
and I've seen this game before.
Oh, she's just a flirt. No harm, no foul.
I don't know. I've seen her flirt
with a lot of guys, get Ron hot under the collar,
and then they have sex on the 15th green.
15th green?
That's got a steep break to the right, doesn't it?
Real steep.
I think that's part of the thrill.
Is your food okay? Because, if it's not exactly
the way you like it, I can...
I can flag somebody down without ever leaving the table.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Uh...
Yeah, I'm sorry...
I'm acting weird.
It's just that I talked to your brother,
and he-he told me that you...
have some issues. I'm sorry, what?
He said that you spook really easily,
and that it's been a long while
since you've... (high-pitched squeal)
I am so... that's just so embarrassing.
But also, that is... it's all true.
It's completely true.
Um... I do spook easily.
I do. That's why I never called you after Halloween.
And I'm just not gonna comment on the second half of that.
What you said earlier.
About the...
(makes squeaky bedspring noises)
So instead, you just...
showed up at the bagel place, like, a million times
so we'd run into one another?
I just though it would be easier for me
to just have a crush on you,
and I didn't want it to become
the thing where you'll just one day
be my future ex-boyfriend.
If we could just go back to something you just said.
Um, what kind of crush are we talking about here?
Like this, or like... Mmm...
Bigger than that.
No. Are we talking about a crush still?
I think it's pointless. They all hate me.
And for some inexplicable reason,
it hurts my feelings.
Mom says to be nice to mean people.
I really wasn't expecting a back-and-forth, Maddie.
And I love your mum, but just so you know,
in this particular issue, she doesn't
really know what she's talking about.
I know. You what?
There's this boy in my class who won't stop teasing me.
So I said I was going to come to his house
and hurt him in his sleep.
Yeah? And now he doesn't tease me anymore.
Mom thinks it's because she talked to his mom, but...
Will you keep an eye on her? Thanks. Mm-hmm.
BJ: Hey!
Guess what.
I don't care what you think I did to get that raise.
I deserved it.
I am a decent person, but next time you want to
bad-mouth me, you might not want to go to sleep at night,
because while you're sleeping,
you might lose a finger.
Do you understand me, Kenny?
Do... you... understand me, Kenny?
Yes. Yes, yes!
But my name... my name is not Kenny.
What?
My name's not Kenny.
Your name is Kenny. My name is Sam.
No, it's not. Yes, it is.
That? That's Kenny.
He's Kenny.
You always call us the wrong names, every single day.
Oh, that's...
Oh, that's what
the dirty looks...
'cause I was... yeah.
I thought you were judging me,
but I was just... it was the stupid names.
When... I mean, we... Isn't that funny?
Well, we all still judge you.
Oh, shut up.
Shut your face, Kenny Sam.
(laughs)
I can't believe it. I feel so much better.
Yeah. Well...
Night, Kenny, Sam.
I love you guys.
(whispering): You most.
And don't be afraid to open a bottle of Veronique
a couple of hours before serving.
It only gets better with age.
I know I don't need to tell you that, Cheryl.
(laughing) You're beautiful.
How merlot can we go?
Tommy!
I heard your sister was going out
with that hot divorcé from down the street.
Well, depends on your definition of "hot."
I find him to be too symmetrical.
Eerily so.
Is it hot to leave your wife?
What? He left his wife?
Yeah. Last year, at Christmas.
I mean, not that I was surprised.
How did your sister hook up with him anyway?
Well, she just...
she, uh...
she... Me.
I did this.
You can't turn up a Crock-Pot.
It's a slow-cooker.
It's not meant for extreme heat.
You know, you want the meat to fall off the bone,
not get burnt. Mm-hmm.
It's not your fault, honey.
Look, marriage is a confining institution,
but... Ben?
Ben? Don't leave.
Oh, so that's Ben?
That's Mr. Wine Hands?
You're pathetic.
Oh, yeah. He's mad.
(giggles)
That wasn't bad for an adult night out.
Well, let's see how our adult night in goes.
Ooh...
Get out of my sister! Oh, my God!
Ben, what are you doing?
Hey! Come here, you son of a bitch! BEN: Hey, listen,
we're right in the middle of a family thing, okay? Who is that?
This isn't your house. This isn't your house, Ben!
You trying to get my wife drunk
and then take advantage of her?
Oh, give me a break, Joanne's husband.
If anything, I'm a pawn in your weird sexual golf game.
Ben! You wife is so sexually aggressive,
I'm not even that attracted to her.
Hey! KATE: Oh, my God!
(grunting) WILL: Easy, easy. Easy.
Relax. Relax. All right?
Everybody just needs to calm down for a second.
Okay? Breathe.
Thank you very much, Will.
Now, why don't you tell us why you left your wife?
What? KATE: What?
He's a leaver, Kate.
He left his wife. At Christmas.
Christmas?
But that's when families come together.
BEN: I know, right?
He didn't even wait till Boxing Day.
Wow.
All right.
Yeah, I left her three weeks before Christmas.
Because she never put our daughter first.
Well, you got to put the kids first, yeah.
Really. Who are you?
I am so sorry.
For all of this, okay?
Mostly this part of it.
So stupid.
But I'm sorry for everything.
It's... it's fine. (cell phone chimes)
Oh, that's so nice. Joanne sent a text
to see if I was okay.
Oh, and she also sent a picture.
(yells) Whoa!
Well, that was actually
one of the most embarrassing things
that's ever happened to me.
And the only reason why
I'm speaking to you right now, Ben,
is because what you did last night
actually turned out to be kind of really amazing.
It did? Yeah.
We talked about his divorce,
and our childhoods,
and things that we would've never even gotten to for months.
That was my plan. No, that was not your plan.
No. That was not my plan.
It was also not my plan
to be used as foreplay by a crazy couple.
That should only exist in the '70s.
MADDIE: Uncle Ben! Are you ready for Career Day?
Uh, sorry, Maddie, but you have to have a career for that.
I tried to find one for you,
but the truth is,
I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Well, then why don't you go talk about that?
BEN: You see, the thing is,
we can get hung up on trying to figure out
exactly what our path is,
but you never really know.
You know? I mean, look at me.
Did-did I make it rain as a wine salesman?
Yeah, you bet I did.
I mean, I don't want to get into amounts... $2,500, whatever.
The point is, I tried.
That's what you guys need to do.
You need to go out there and try stuff.
And don't worry about not succeeding.
Right?
Because trying is succeeding.
Unless you're trying to fail,
in which case,
failing... then is succeeding.
Ah...
BEN: Thank you guys.
Thank you. Yeah.
Uh, the point is...
You know what the point is?
If you don't want to go to college...
Whatever. Don't go to college.
Screw it. You wanna, you know,
play grab ass around Europe?
Go forward! I don't care!
My name is Ben Fox.
Questions?
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/