Subs created by: David Coleman.
(Crashes)
Yeah, nice one, Boltz!
Woo! Go team!
This team plays for one reason.
To win!
Oof!
You wanna make the cut, you've gotta sweat hockey, bleed hockey.
And, remember, most importantly to have fun!
On your own time! No fun on my ice!
Only the best of the best will make this team!
Are you sure we should be here?
Oof!
We're not even best of the worst.
Dude, there are two ways to get popular fast...
Form a band or join a team.
They're getting close.
And since your oboe lessons never really paid out, this is all we've got.
Besides, you're awesome at hockey.
Awesome at watching hockey.
The closest I ever came to playing was Super Puckzoid 4.
Oof!
As long as that guy's on our team, who cares how bad we are?
Him?
Oof! (Loud crash)
Oh!
No. Him.
(Grunts)
(Growling)
(Yelling)
Okay then. More room on the ice.
Who's up next?
Ethan: Guys, don't leave!
Stern: Okay, listen up!
If you're still here and you...
Haven't sustained a major injury...
Congratulations, you've made the team.
- Yay. - Yay.
She's the girl next door.
Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
No more "maybe it's Maybelline".
She can give you everything you need.
She's the girl next door.
Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
Just for me.
(Grunts)
That's the last time I take flying tips from you!
It's like you flew into that bird on purpose!
I was hungry! Mmm.
Where are we?
Looks like the old cemetery.
- Do you smell something? - All I smell is pigeon.
(Sneezes)
(Shoveling)
Ugh.
Oh, it's totally coming from over there.
Yeah, I smell it now.
(Grunting)
(Both gasp)
That's a whole new kind of awkward.
Do I wet myself or vomit?
How about you give me some more flying tips after all?
And then I got the puck and totally Ollie'd for a goal!
Dude, you haven't even touched the ice yet.
And I'm pretty sure "Ollie's" a skateboarding term.
Who cares? Let's milk this jock thing while we can.
Like Boltz.
We should totally hang out with him!
And talk about what? How those guys are gonna wedgie us later?
Hello? We made the team, they didn't.
Watch and learn.
Scusi.
(Growling)
Hey, guys!
So how come you weren't at practice today?
Oh, that's right, you're not on the team.
This area's for players only, all right? (Clicks tongue)
Scooch.
Wow.
That just happened.
So, Boltz, right? You were really killer on that rink today!
Yeah, those were some sweet...
Hands?
I mean that slap shot was awesome.
(Grunts)
You guys won't believe what happened last night!
(Grunts)
- Who's he? - This is Boltz.
Because he's faster than lightning.
Why are you guys dressed like hockey players?
It's not Halloween yet.
- We made the hockey team. - What? That's great!
So, what, you guys are, like, water boys or something?
Ethan: No! We happen to be players.
Yeah, and this is the players' table,
so unless you're one of our hockey groupies...
- Hi. - Right?
Yeah, I'm so not on that team.
Fine.
So, Boltz...
What up?
(Grunge rock playing)
Erica: There you are!
Special delivery from The Vampire Council.
What now? Proper fang hygiene or werewolf dating tips?
Who's the new hunk?
That's Boltz with a B.
As in bo.
He's on the hockey team with Ethan and Benny.
Your dorks turned into jocks?
This is crazy!
Totally. I mean, I've seen jocks be dorky, but never dorks...
I mean this! It says I'm wanted for grave robbing!
- Why would I do that? - Bad nutritional choices?
Ugh, that's sick! I don't even feed on the living!
I stick to bottled, organic plasma.
Yeah, that's not gonna help your case.
So, are you gonna introduce me to Boltz or what?
(Grunting)
(Purrs)
Sarah, you have been accused of necro-gluto.
- How do you plead? - Necro-what?
I thought I was accused of draining dead people.
That's what necro-gluto means.
Don't you kids learn Latin any more?
Whatever it's called, I didn't do it!
First of all, gross!
And second of all, ewe!
Those are both valid points. But we know you were in the graveyard.
We found your hair clip.
Okay, fine, I was there. But I didn't do anything!
Ask Rory, he was there, too!
We did. He said you were on a date.
He what?
We didn't believe it either, which is why you stand accused.
This is a serious crime.
Feeding on the dead can spread sickness to the whole Vampire community.
I haven't been necro-glueing or whatever, but...
I think I saw the person who is.
Very well.
You can have 48 hours to catch the grave robber, and prove your innocence.
Okay.
So, what if I fail?
We would have to kill the virus inside you before it spreads.
Oh. Like with antibiotics?
No. Something much more permanent.
(Thunder crashing)
(Whistle blows)
(Players shouting)
And so The Council's gonna terminate me if I don't catch this guy.
I really need your help.
Oh, we'd love to, but the team needs us, too.
For what? You said yourself you barely set foot on the ice.
Hey, bench warming is a noble tradition!
Hey, Boltz, what's up!
(Grunts)
It's harder than it looks.
Sorry, Sarah, I'd like to help but we have the team to think about.
Fine, I'll do it myself.
But next time there's a monster in your closet, call someone else.
(Grunts)
Watch your step, missy!
Sorry.
Ewe, do all hockey players smell like bo?
- Oh, hey, Rory. - Hi, Sarah!
- Can I help you? - No.
Then why are you following me?
Oh, The Council told me to make sure you don't
sink your fangs into any more dead dudes.
But, you know I never did that! You were there!
Yeah, but The Council hates it when I argue.
Or talk. And this way we get to spend two days together!
- Ugh, stake me now. - Erica's supposed to babysit you, too.
She's around here somewhere.
So, have we met before?
Or was that just in my dreams?
- (Groans) - (Laughs)
You're so witty! I bet you're ruggedly handsome, too.
(Grunts)
Aw, he's shy. And strong.
I like that.
- (Grunting) - (Gasps)
Oh!
It is like somebody ran over a lizard then stapled it to your face.
Erica, let's go!
We have to watch Sarah so she doesn't dig-dig, munch-munch, yum-yum.
- Subtle. - Yeah, fine, let's go.
I literally never want to see his face again.
What's wrong with that Boltz kid?
What? He scored four points today!
Yeah, three were on his own net!
He's got skills, he just needs a little...
Brain?
Um, I kinda have the opposite problem.
See, I know what to do, it's just the "doing" where I have trouble.
Yeah. Well, if you have any ideas for Boltz, I sure would love to hear them.
For starters, I'd shoot farther from the net.
That goalie's too good at blocking up close.
(Whistles)
(Buzzer sounds)
Um, now try going behind the net and rebounding it off number 7's helmet!
- (Whistles) - (Buzzer sounds)
(Gasps) Um, now pass it to number 8, and body check him into the net!
- (Grunts) - (Buzzer sounds)
We're in the lead!
Thanks, Ethan! Huh!
Well, I can't take all the credit.
Boltz helped a little.
(Grunts)
You look a little worn out, kid. Why don't you ride the pine?
Sure.
There's something going on with Boltz.
What do you mean? He's playing better than ever!
I know but I don't think he's...
A natural.
(Grunting)
He looks like a normal jock to me.
Trust me, there's something's up.
It has to do with that gem on his mask.
- I just don't know what it's... - Dude, it's obvious!
He stumbled onto some kinda magical steroids and
cheated his way to becoming the greatest player ever!
- How are you so sure? - Because it's exactly what I would do!
Coach: Good game, guys.
There might be something more to this. I think we should look up that gem.
Coach: Hey, boys! Great game today!
Thanks! I always give 111%.
That's nice, son. Say, Ethan, (Clears throat)
You had some brilliant ideas today.
Mind hanging back? I'd sure would love to pick your brain.
Oh, me? I don't know...
Benny and I did have that homework we had to do.
What homework?
You know, that gemistry homework?
Oh, that? No, I can do that for both of us.
Hey, that's the team spirit!
All right, just stay put while I stow the gear away.
Benny! What was that?
Relax, he might know something about Boltz.
- I guess you're right. - Yeah.
Meanwhile, I find out what his mojo is, duplicate it.
Next time you see me, I'll be just like Boltz.
(Grunting)
Well, not exactly like him.
You get the idea.
Erica: So you get accused of grave robbing and you wanna hang out in a graveyard?
For the last time, I do not drain dead people, okay?
(Grunting)
Do you think that's the guy?
Go away, you rotten kids! If you want rob a grave, dig your own!
(Hisses)
(Grunts)
Way to take down that...
Elderly disabled man.
Ugh, my arthritis.
Come on, he's a grave robber!
I only collect spare parts. Not like they're using them.
And you're using them why?
For hockey.
That sport is a lot weirder than I thought.
Okay, let's see, athletic ability...
Whoa.
(Phone rings)
Hi, Sarah.
Did you know there's a spell that cures athlete's foot?
Fascinating. Did you know your buddy Boltz isn't your average jock?
Of course! I'm trying to figure out his trick so I can do it myself.
Well, unless you're a pile of dead body parts, it won't help.
Come again?
This old weirdo says the stone on his mask is called the Eye of Zartak.
It resurrects dead limbs into whatever shape you put them in.
Your buddy Boltz is made of a dozen dead hockey players!
Do you know what this means?
That we have a crazy hockey monster on the loose?
No, it means I'll never be good at hockey!
Monster's not crazy, just slow.
Good brain's hard to find.
Too many worms get in, make like Swiss Cheese.
Ugh, whatever. Well, your build-it-yourself hockey days are over.
What? I no build no player. I'm just a grave robber.
Is that supposed to be better?
So, if you're not behind this, who is?
The new man, uh, Steiner.
A very hands-on coach.
Told me to find a thick skull for he's got this new juicy geek brain he find.
Did he just say "geek brain he find"?
Ethan!
Are you ready to be part of something much bigger than you?
Anything for the team, right?
(Sighs) That's the attitude I like.
The two of you made a great team out there today.
Between your brains and his skill, you could go all the way.
I'm talking NHL here.
Really? Thanks.
The question is, how committed are you?
Are you ready to take this to the next level?
Sure! Um, but about Boltz...
- How well do you know him? - I made him the player that he is.
Wait. Is that...
Only the finest parts from the greatest hockey stars that ever died in this town!
Only one part missing.
Well, good luck with that.
I'm not sure I wanna be cut out for this.
Come on, Ethan.
There's no "I" in team.
No, there's a U in lunatic!
(Grunting)
Great knockdown, kiddo!
Technically, cross-checking, but I'll pretend I didn't see it.
(Groaning)
Is it just me, or is it really cold in here?
(Gasping)
Well, whether you sprained an ankle or ripped out an organ...
It's always best to put ice on it.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta give Boltz' slap shot a little more zip.
- (Cracking) - (Gasping)
There ya go, sport!
Now, you may feel a slight jolt.
- (Crackling) - (Loud grunting)
(Grunting)
It's alive!
(Gasps)
(Grunting)
Up top!
And now for the final piece.
You're gonna kill me just so Whitechapel can make the playoffs?
Oh, relax, Ethan, I'm just going to put your brain into his body.
You'll be fine.
(Alarm ringing)
(Sighs)
I have to attend to something.
Boltz!
Ethan!
This place is huge. Next time, can you join a ping-pong team or something?
I wouldn't! Pongers are animals!
Hey! You kids are trespassing!
Can it, Franken-coach! We're here for Ethan!
All of Ethan!
Boltz! Defense!
(Grunting)
- Is that supposed to be a head? - How is he even drinking?
I know. He is totally hotter with his mask on.
I'm through playing games.
Sarah, wait!
Yeah, Vamp speed plus ice equals wipe-out every time.
- Good to know. - Just find Ethan!
(Grunting)
We'll take care of Mr. Mumbles.
Please tell me that's for a helmet fitting!
Once I have your noodle out, you'll have no choice but to let me put it in Boltz.
(Shivering) You'll never get away with this!
(Whirring)
Sarah: Ethan?
Ethan: In here!
(Screams)
(Buzzer sounds)
Did we win?
(Grunting)
Oh, wait!
I'm on your team, remember?
(Growling)
Ah, little help!
Hey, Boltz, baby. I can't believe I liked you!
- (Hisses) - (Grunting)
I hope they never take the biting out of hockey.
Ugh!
Ugh, that tastes like moldy sewer water!
Sarah: Ethan!
Behind you!
(Muffled screaming)
Coach: There.
Now, where were we?
(Grunting)
Hey, Jockenstein!
How about a little one-on-one?
(Grunting)
Benny Weir with the puck. He's gotta go top shelf.
It's do or die!
(Grunting)
Literally.
Ah!
(Grunting)
No way! Benny is the greatest! Yes!
(Groans)
What happened to him?
Did the Zartak-thingy fall out or something?
Fall out?
Tell me you saw that shot!
(Whirring)
Come on, Ethan! There's no I in "scream" either.
(Screaming)
Sorry, coach. It looks like you won't be making the cut.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, but I am done with hockey.
I've had enough ice time to last me forever.
Sarah: And so you can be assured the grave robbing is over.
At least until next hockey season.
Wonderful story, Sarah.
But how do we know you didn't just pay some homeless man to lie for you?
I'm standing right here.
I thought about that.
So I brought you this.
These are all the spare parts that were stolen.
And if you thought I was draining the dead, you can check for fang marks.
Actually touch them? That would take hours.
Try not to get sick.
Benny: It's too bad Stern folded the team after Steiner and Boltz vanished.
Are you kidding? We're lucky we never had to play.
Yeah, good point.
But I will miss the status that team got us, though.
No, no, no. Hey, we'll still have the status...
(Laughing)
Or maybe not.
It's okay, guys! I'm good. I'm good.
We will always have this to remind us of how cool we almost were.
- I'll take that. - But that's...
School property? I know.
I'm gathering all the equipment for storage.
This was the last item on my list.
Are you sure you want it? I mean, it's ancient.
It was the Whitechapel hockey team. All the equipment is ancient.
(Scoffs)
That stinks.
If Boltz was here, I know what he'd say.
Yeah.
(Both grunt)
She's the girl next door.
Nice but naughty, a heart that's pure.
She's the girl next door.
Just for me.
Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend. www.Addic7ed.Com.