NARRATOR: Previously on Political Animals:
Susan Berg has the story.
T.J. Hammond tried to kill himself.
Working with Anne on the party has been a dream.
We wanted 60 people at a club...
...and we're having 300 people at the zoo because your mother likes elephants.
There is no article that can explain the complexities of a single marriage.
- You don't make it easy to love you. - It's not supposed to be.
Easy is Georgia. Easy is where you can spend the night while I'm moving out.
Iranian court found the journalists guilty.
President Hakam has set their execution for 24 hours from now.
I'd like to propose to the president that he send you to Iran.
Thought you'd never ask.
You just wanted me to get Garcetti to send you to Iran?
I am the best person to get those journalists back.
Can you keep a secret, Clark? I'm gonna run for president again.
BUD: Senator, there's a vote tomorrow on the education bill...
...and a little shit-talking bird told me your fat ass is out of town.
Something about the other side labeling it affirmative action.
I told them Don Strickland may be one of the luckiest assholes...
...ever to have been sworn into Congress but that doesn't mean he's a coward.
Hang on, I'll finish the insult for you, senator.
I'm a bastard. I'm a rotten son of a bitch. Right?
I suck at tennis and bowling.
Hell, there's about five things I do well and one of them is fart.
Now this is history.
If you're too chicken to be on the right side of it...
...then I will drag your ass kicking and screaming across the line...
...and you can blow me for it later. Now, have a nice evening, Don.
Give Marjorie a kiss for me.
[SIGHS]
- Evening, sugar. ELAINE: Can we have a moment.
Sure.
- As soon as we can. - What is it, baby?
- Sarah Latham. - Who?
Don't bullshit me, Bud. Sarah Latham.
Oh, the homely gal from your advance team.
- The one you fired for the... - Did you sleep with her?
Jesus. No. Where'd you get that from?
- She's come forward. - What? I swear.
Elaine, I barely met the woman before you tossed her.
She has dates. Specifics about when you had sex, what you prefer in bed.
Baby. It's a bunch a lies.
She's just trying to save her ass for getting fired.
- You said that last time. - I haven't done anything since I held office.
I've been good, like we talked about.
You haven't been good. You're a rotten and lying bastard!
That is 17th century Qing Dynasty. Now, Mao gave that to Nixon...
GARCETTl: So you talked the Iranians into sitting down with us in Oman?
I guaranteed the sultan we'd protect him. The location has to be top secret.
You want me to send your ex-husband to negotiate.
Elaine, the former president is ajoke.
He is one sex scandal away from Dancing with the Stars.
Sending a former U.S. President gives Hakam the clout he needs...
...to get his country to the negotiating table.
And it gives you the chance to talk Iran off their weapons program...
...without looking like we got pushed around by terrorists.
If I could just interrupt.
Maybe it would send a stronger message...
...if we sent a seated member of the administration.
I do have some experience in these matters.
No way, Fred. Sorry.
Elaine, your husband himself sent me to Mexico...
...to negotiate the release of those American citizens.
That was Mexico and two college students smuggling a Volvo of pot.
This is Iran accusing innocent American journalists of being spies.
These negotiations won't happen over margaritas.
Regardless of his personal exploits...
...there is no one else with Bud's international stature...
...or his experience negotiating at this level.
Seems like you've got all the angles figured out.
I'm not exactly sure what you need me for.
Obviously, I need your blessing, Mr. President.
And if I don't give it?
[SIGHS]
Barry, sit with the vice president and Donovan, hammer out a statement.
Announce that we're sending the former president to negotiate.
Thank you, sir.
[ELAINE CLEARS THROAT]
You know, if this goes wrong...
...if hostages end up dead and Iran still wants their nukes...
...I think you're through being America's sweetheart.
You own this one now, Elaine.
- Garcetti went for it? - Yes.
We have a strategy debrief at 0800. Your father is wheels up in an hour.
Have I waited long enough to ask...
...what you're thinking throwing dad in the ring?
You should worry about telling your fiancée...
...we have to push the engagement party.
- Shit. We have to push the party. - We'll just do it at the house.
- Time, TBD. Simple. - Yeah.
Has T.J. Called you?
I am just getting that knot in my stomach.
I could be gone 24 hours, no one would even notice.
Your brother is an addict and a hundred million people just found out...
...he tried to kill himself. - I'm working on it.
T. J: We're calling it The Dome. Restaurant and a club.
View of The Dome, exposed brick and a killer hand-carved bar.
It's gonna be awesome.
It would be if my dickhead father would float me the cash.
Ugh, I figured your dad was loaded. Seems he could spare pocket change.
Right? Considering he's constantly doling out...
...hush money to all the women he screwed.
[DOOR KNOB CLICKS]
Don't worry. It's just my boyfriend.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend. MAN: Levi?
- He won't be mad. MAN: Levi, open the door.
- He sounds pretty mad. - You're on my list.
Famous guys I can cheat with. You're number two.
- Who's number one? - Rob Pattinson. But he's not gay.
- Yep. He's not. MAN: Levi.
SUSAN: Stuff on Hakam? - Uh, check.
Stuff on the country that shall remain nameless?
Check.
- Also, Alex called. - Ah, call him back.
Uh, tell him I just turned in a story no one else has.
I'm on assignment but the destination is embargoed.
Tell him I moved my stuff out of our apartment...
...and tell him he's a lying, cheating piece of shit.
I don't, uh, really wanna say that last part.
Tell him it's in quotes. You're just reporting the news.
- Thanks for picking me up, man. - Mom is worried sick about you.
As usual.
[T.J. SIGHS]
You're not gonna tell her the details, are you?
No.
[SIGHS]
Look, I'm sorry that you had to deal with that stupid story, okay?
We tried to stop it.
It's old news.
People were gonna find out.
It's cool.
Listen, T.J., this is a really important week to me...
...with the engagement.
And there is a lot going on...
...so can you please just show up and be there for me this time.
You know I always got your back, little bro.
Stop smiling at me. I was only born three minutes after you.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
You'll still never catch up.
- Put on your seatbelt. - Okay, heh.
Hey, sugar. Look at us. Just like old times.
I'm here to brief you, Bud. And that's all.
Well, go ahead. You're the boss.
After you land in Oman, you'll have a private meeting with Hakam.
- Keep it short. - Hmm.
Then the two of you will do a grip-and-grin photo op for Al Jazeera.
Just smile and pretend he is not a deceitful, treacherous brat.
I went by the hotel and ended things with Eva.
I couldn't lead her on anymore now that you and I reconnected.
We have not reconnected. That was a one-time thing.
- It didn't feel like a one-time thing. - It was.
I'd had an extremely bad day. I was vulnerable.
- You were insatiable. - Focus, please.
There's still some question about what you're authorized to offer Hakam...
Garcetti's keeping his greasy paws clean. That figures.
If that son of a bitch gave me the tools...
...I could have Hakam in the U.N. By next week, pissing fuel rods.
Listen to yourself. This is your sickness.
I ask you to quietly save the lives of three innocent people...
...and instantly you think you can save the whole world.
That's why you fell in love with me, sugar.
What's the bitch of the Beltway doing here?
Finishing her feature on me.
Told her she could cover this trip on background.
She won a Pulitzer for hating our guts.
It turns out she doesn't hate us. Just you.
Travel safe, Bud. Do your best.
Don't worry, sweetheart, the hard shit I usually get right.
It's the simple shit I screw up.
Oh, madam secretary? Excuse me.
I'm really grateful you're giving me this opportunity.
Don't be grateful. We're both just doing ourjobs.
If all goes well, this will make a hell of an end to my story on you.
- You may even wanna read it. - I told you...
...I stopped reading what people wrote about me a long time ago.
Good luck.
BUD: Now, you remember this? Three or four years ago, I know.
You may not have heard this, this guy went on his ass into the pond at the White House.
[ALL CHUCKLING]
I don't know what he was drinking or...
I didn't do it.
Ah, I did not have sex with Sarah Latham...
...and that is the God's honest truth.
Now, I know I've lied in the past, but I'm not lying this time.
Come on, baby.
Please, believe me.
Why would she do that?
I don't know. I don't know, but I'm telling the truth. Come on. Shh.
Do you know what goes through our minds when you disappear like that?
Your mom and I both think you're dead.
I'm sorry.
I'm just glad that Dougie had the sense to bring you by here...
...so you could recover from whatever it was you were doing...
...with whatever unfortunate boy you were doing it with.
[CHUCKLES]
Because I need you to go through all of this with me.
- What exactly are we looking for? - Sheet music from my Vegas days.
I'm thinking that we could do a number together...
...you know, for Dougie and Anne's engagement party.
- Have you mentioned that to Momma? - Oh, she loves it when I headline.
[T.J. SIGHS]
How long have these things been in, uh, hibernation?
[MARGARET CHUCKLES]
Since before your mother was toilet trained.
Oh, come on. Momma was never not toilet trained.
Well, it was fast, I'll grant you that. She was like a puppy.
One swat on her fanny with a newspaper and that was it.
[SIGHS]
I need a screwdriver to loosen up my pipes.
And I don't mean a Phillips head.
[CHUCKLES]
That's your cue to make your grandmother a drink.
[PLAYS PIANO]
GARY: So, Berg, how'd you end up on this?
Hammonds hate you.
I got the secretary's mother calling you a bitch on record.
I was nice enough not to print it, of course.
What can I say, Gary, this bitch is just good at herjob.
- You're still sleeping with your boss? - You still cheating on your wife?
That's not funny. She left me six weeks ago.
Really? I'm so happy for her.
Excuse me, Ms. Berg.
President Hammond requested that you join him.
[GARY SCOFFS]
- Heh, make sure he wears a condom. - That's funny.
You weren't asleep, were you? No, I imagine you were wide awake...
...sharpening your pencils, or your knives or whatever.
Relax. Have a drink. There's a full bar.
Hell, they've even got M&M'S with the presidential seal on them.
I like the green ones, so hands off those.
Why did you invite me in here?
Well, it's a long flight. And I like company.
So I've heard.
Heh, take a load off.
I can, uh, give you a little background on that story you're writing about Elaine.
- Stoli, rocks, please. - There we go.
My daddy used to say there's nothing more appealing...
...than a lady who likes a stiff one.
[CLEARS THROAT]
You play Words With Friends?
Yeah, that and Skyping are about all I know how to use that thing for.
Yeah, Brokaw got me started. He's not very good though.
- And you? Do you play? - I used to.
I beat all my friends, so no one will play against me.
You're that good or are you just that low on friends?
You don't seem to have a lot of friends yourself these days.
Heh. Yeah, I get it. You don't like me.
I know you think I had some kind ofjournalistic vendetta. I didn't.
I write about what the country is talking about.
[CHUCKLES]
Listen, Columbiajust did a study on presidential legacies. They asked people...
...to say the first word that popped into their head about presidents.
Abraham Lincoln, people said "honesty."
Nixon, "Watergate."
When they hear Bud Hammond...
...you know what the majority of people say?
"Sex."
- How about JFK? - "Assassination."
I'll bet you he'd just as soon they said sex.
[CHUCKLES]
Come on, Ms. Berg. Put your pen down.
Let's play a couple of rounds.
I'll even let you go first.
- All right. - What is it, Douglas?
WOMAN [ON TV]: As to the whereabouts of the talks...
... the vice president had this to say.
I can neither confirm nor deny there's any hostage talks going on in Oman.
- Period. - That little rat.
Elaine. Uh, now, I know what you're going to say.
Even you are smart enough to know that neither confirming nor denying...
...is the same as confirming there's a secret meeting in Oman.
For instance, if I said, I can neither confirm nor deny...
...that Vice President Collier is a pissy little shit...
...who sent three people to their deaths...
...because he wasn't the one to rescue them...
...what would you take it to mean? - No need to get personal.
You made this personal, Fred, when you were passed over to meet with Hakam.
I won't lie to the American people. I'm not Bud Hammond.
You're goddamn right you're not.
Honestly.
- Idiot. - Mom.
That was the vice president of the United States.
- What's going on? - Nothing.
Really? Because in the last day, you've defied the president...
...threatened your resignation, put your entire reputation on the line...
...and offered Dad the first spotlight in two years...
...that didn't make him out to be an over-sexed political has-been.
I'd appreciate the truth...
...and I think I've earned it, when I ask you what the hell is going on?
I'm just sick of it, that's what's going on.
I'm sick to death of the bullshit and the egos and of the men.
I am sick of the men.
Just one time, just once, I would like to accomplish something in this city...
...without having to spend all of my energy navigating the short-sighted...
...selfish, self-involved and oh-so-fragile male egos...
...that suck up all the oxygen in this town.
It makes me so sick, Douglas. So sick I could puke for days.
I'm running for president.
[CHUCKLES]
Okay. If that was your announcement speech, you just lost half your vote.
- Anyway, you have at least four years... - In two years.
- I'm running now. Against Garcetti. - You're the secretary of state.
How would you even do that?
I don't know. You're just the second person I've said that to.
- Who was the first? - Clark.
- Your diplomatic security? - Yes.
- He thought it was a good idea. - That's nice.
Excuse me. Sultan of Oman on one.
I ask you to table whatever emotional reaction...
...you're having given today's crisis.
Yes, your majesty.
MARGARET: Did you find anything? T. J: "Tender Trap"...
..."Second Time Around," "When I Fall in Love."
Wait a minute. Go back one.
"Love is lovelier the second time around."
Is it appropriate, they haven't even had their first time around.
Humor me. I already know this one.
And we'll figure out some bullshit relevance later on.
[CHUCKLES]
- How come you never had a club act? - I was happy to just be a copa girl.
Besides, there was a trumpet player I was crazy about.
That guy had an embouchure to die for.
Embouchure?
Yeah, it's a horn player's, uh, bread and butter. His mouth.
The lips.
The buzzing they made when they blow.
We're still talking about horn playing, right? Heh.
It's all jazz, baby.
Well, you know, I'm trying to open my own nightclub.
Ah, you and me can work up a set of these old standards.
Tsk, all I need is a little start-up capital...
Oh, heh, nice try, sweetie. Nice try.
But I make a practice of not throwing money at guys I adore.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Excuse me. The delivery men are here and they need a check for the flowers.
Oh, right. Elaine called. I already got that covered.
- There you go. WOMAN: Thank you.
MARGARET: Mm-hm. Two thousand dollars for Flowers by Carl.
What a racket, huh?
You know, I need a refill.
When I come back, I'm gonna stop blabbering about the past.
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
Maybe we should play something else. I am crushing you.
BUD: Thanks, Antoine. - You're welcome, sir.
Well, let's make this one interesting.
- How much you got on you? - About 80 bucks.
- You're serious? - I'll play better when the stakes are high.
[BUD GRUNTS]
- You ever been this close to the action? - I've covered foreign affairs.
So no.
I guarantee, when this is over...
...you're gonna feel a rush like you never felt before.
The most thrilling moment of my first term...
...was, uh, taking out those Somalian pirates...
...who commandeered that oil tanker.
- You remember that? - Must have felt great.
- Oh, yeah, it sure did. - Sarah Latham wrote in her book...
...that you two started your affair around that time.
Think there was any correlation?
[CHUCKLES]
Anybody ever tell you you're a real downer, Ms. Berg?
[CHUCKLES]
[GAME BEEPS]
A seven letter bonus? "Mihrabs"?
It's the part of the mosque that indicates the direction of Mecca.
Well, I believe I won this round.
I've been had. You are a Words With Friends shark.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- Come in. - Heh.
- Excuse me, I have the secretary of state. BUD: Oh, right.
Thank you.
Hey, sugar. Looking beautiful as ever.
Uh, I have Ms. Berg here with me.
Bud, there's been a change of venue. Oman pulled out.
- Oh, so where are we going? Turkey? - How did you know?
BUD [ON MONITOR]: We need a place two hours away.
Has to be Islamic, so, uh, Georgia and Armenia are out.
Syria and Iraq, gone and gone. Egypt can't.
I'm sure Ms. Berg is already aware you're a geopolitical genius.
[ON MONITOR] But we still have no concessions to offer.
So it'll be up to you to do what you do best.
Make shit up.
Can you hold? The Turkish embassy says they don't expect him for an hour.
We don't have another hour. Find out where he is.
The secretary is asking, uh, where His Excellency might be reached.
Oh, I see. Uh, um the ambassador is in the Hamam.
Please tell His Excellency that I will be there in 15 minutes.
Goodbye.
Mom. Do you know what a Hamam is?
It's a Turkish bath.
Well, why didn't you say something?
Uh, you speak 14 languages, I figured you knew what it meant.
Good day. Excuse us. Coming through.
Good day.
[SIGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
Perhaps I steamed too long. I must be dreaming.
Serkan, I need a favor.
I have a ticking clock on those hostages.
I need to negotiate in Turkey in less than an hour.
The downside being my country steps between two loaded guns.
Upside being your country acts as the bridge between U.S. And the Middle East.
Which wouldn't hurt your bid for the EU.
Also, I happen to know your prime minister's had his eye...
...on our Cobra attack helicopters. - Oh.
What do you want from me, Serkan?
I, uh, sent you some flowers after your divorce.
- You never responded. - I got them. Uh, all four dozen of them.
Tulips. Very thoughtful.
Perhaps then, uh, you would agree to dinner with me?
You would use the lives of three Americans to leverage me...
...into going out with you?
You would sacrifice their lives to not go out with me?
Fine.
Then we'll have a private tarmac waiting for your negotiations.
And, uh, I'll have my secretary call to coordinate our dinner.
Would you pull this crap on the U.S. Secretary of state...
...if I were a man? - Of course not.
Uh, I'm not attracted to men.
You are a scoundrel, Serkan, but you're an honest scoundrel.
- Have a good day. - You too.
That was the perfect capper to my day.
Pimped myself out for the good of the country.
Here, ma'am. Very humid in there.
Gallant as usual. Your father better deliver.
Are you sure you're not putting too much faith in him?
- I trust him. - How has that worked out for you in the past?
You're upset. Okay, let's talk about it.
Depends. Am I finally allowed to have my emotional reaction...
...to the fact that my mother declared her intentions to run for president?
I thought you'd be excited. You always shout that the wrong guys won.
I'm not Garcetti's biggest fan but to drag the incumbent...
...through primaries would split the DNC in half at best.
And an insurgent campaign could turn you back into...
- Just say it. - Public Bitch Number One.
And did you forget what the last run did to you?
Huh? Eighteen-hour days with no end in sight...
...doctors shooting you up with B-12 shots.
- Douglas, I can handle it. - What about the rest of us?
Anne's ready to leave me, T.J. Can barely keeping it together.
Say we do survive two years of campaign hell...
...where does that leave our family? - Hopefully in the White House.
And what about him? Your private out-of-town meeting yesterday...
...when you concocted this whole rescue operation. Was that with Dad?
- Well... - Did you sleep with him?
It was one of the hardest days of my life.
- And it was a one-time thing. - He's part of this fantasy, isn't he?
You're still in love with him, aren't you?
Look at you.
The most powerful woman on the planet...
...and you can't even see he is just gonna hurt you again...
...just like he does every time!
BARRY: Sarah Latham claims to have had an affair with your husband...
...that lasted for five months.
I wanna start by refuting the accusations of this woman.
Uh, oh, Christ, that was terrible. Let me start again.
You don't really have to do this.
The president denied it on all the majors. No one expects you a statement.
I want the world to know, this woman worked for me...
...I fired her for incompetence, and now she makes up these lies.
We have too much to accomplish in his time left in this...
- Too lawyer-y. Skip to the family stuff. BUD: Excuse us, will you?
Okay. All right, thank you, Barry.
Sugar, this interview is a mistake.
Now, I don't see what the upside is.
If the first lady dives into a panty-ripping catfight, all the press...
Is that what you think this is? I will not let this woman tell lies.
- It's not a lie. - Yes, it is.
It's not a lie, Elaine.
[WHIMPERING]
It is... It's not a lie?
- No. - Five months?
- In our bed? - Only once.
Oh.
You are the president of the United States.
Yeah, but that doesn't make me a saint.
No. But I thought it would make you a better man.
I need you to go. Go!
[SOBBING]
MAN [ON PA]: Ladies and gentlemen, though we have arrived...
... we kindly ask that all members of the press corps...
... remain onboard until further notice. Thank you.
Ms. Berg, follow me.
Got a scarf or a silk nighty or something to cover your head with?
See what you can rustle up.
Yeah.
SUSAN: Mr. President, can I at least ask what the plan is?
Just stand 10 feet behind me and try to look virtuous.
Hakam. Assalamu Alaikum, buddy. Good to see you.
Oh, I'm hoping you feel better than you look, because you look like shit.
President Garcetti sent his special envoy to observe our meeting.
[HAKAM SPEAKING IN FARSl]
MAN: I have honored every agreement made with your government...
...you have honored nothing.
Your wife promised me some concessions.
Ex-wife, Hakam. Little different.
[SPEAKS IN FARSl]
You can take all the photographs you want of me and you smiling...
...and shaking hands. But that's all I can offer today.
[MAN SPEAKING IN FARSl]
[SPEAKING IN FARSl]
MAN: Then the prisoners must be executed. You leave me no choice.
You're dying, Hakam.
Well, and I'm sorry, but Garcetti was never coming to the table...
...and to kidnap innocent people to force his hand was a little bat-shit crazy.
Now, you have to let me bring these people home.
If I give into you without some concession...
...they will call me the Coward of Iran.
President Garcetti's special envoy...
...has authority to speak for the president in certain cases.
You give me a moment to appeal to her.
[BUD CLEARS THROAT]
[CLEARS THROAT]
- What the hell are you doing? - I'm negotiating.
You're hanging on my every word.
Now shake your head "no."
[COUGHING]
All right. So we'll try again.
And now you're terribly torn...
...because you'd like to give me what I want...
...but you don't want to get into trouble.
Good, now, look at me and say "yes."
Yes.
Thank you. I enjoyed that.
Hakam. You'll get your visit from Garcetti.
When your funeral is attended by the president of the United States.
Now at that time, talks will begin in earnest, but with your successor.
I'm sorry, pal, it's not happening today, but you have my word.
Now, I will tell the world that it was your dying wish...
...that brought America to the peace table.
And I'll also attend your funeral...
...and pay my own respects to the Hero of Iran.
There you go. Oh, my God.
[PANTING]
Slow down. Wait. The other way.
[DOUGLAS PANTING]
Are we having sex or am I parallel parking?
I'm sorry. I can't concentrate.
God, all I can think about is my parents waiting at the Marriott...
...just sitting there, trying to figure out when our party is gonna be.
I should just tell them to just watch CNN and...
...if the hostages get on the plane, call the relatives.
- Are they really pissed? - Are you kidding me? They love this.
My mom started blogging about what it's like to be close to history.
Come on.
- It's cute. - Ha, ha.
They're proud of you.
DOUGLAS: Mm-hm.
[DOUGLAS SIGHS]
For what?
All I did was catch Washington's, heh, most eligible bachelor.
Mm-hm.
And my mother is convinced...
...I'm gonna screw it up somehow and embarrass her.
You're gonna screw it up somehow?
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Who the hell is that? It's 1 in the morning.
T. J: Dougie? It's me.
Ah, I'm sorry.
Anne, heh, hey. Were you guys sleeping?
- No, T.J., we weren't sleeping. - Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
Uh, you said I should come here. I didn't know where else to go.
I'll be in bed.
[SIGHS]
Oh, God.
- I screwed up. You gotta help me. - Really?
Know that club I was trying to go in on? Mom and Dad wouldn't write me...
...the check. I clipped one from Nanna.
Oh, my God. I ask you to stay sober and you're stealing money from Nanna?
If it was you asking, they would have given it in a second.
You wanna know what the best part is?
My business partners wouldn't even take it.
It was fine if I didn't have the whole nut. All they really needed was my name.
[CHUCKLES]
It's genius, right? So, what am I now?
Just some Page Six joke they can stand at the door?
How did I even become this person?
Look, I know it's my fault.
Do you think I really wanna live like this?
Before the suicide story broke, I went for five months without doing blow.
I was good, Dougie. You gotta believe me.
I just need to catch a break.
I'll give you the money.
[SIGHS]
It's not a gift, it's a loan.
- You are back in the program tomorrow. - Whatever you say.
Do not tell Mom or Anne I'm doing this.
They would fight over who killed me first and they'd be both right.
I love you, brother.
There's a blanket in the closet.
I'll tell you, there's gonna be one hell of a hullabaloo at Andrews.
[ALL CHEERING AND LAUGHING]
If you, uh, wanna freshen up or catch a bit of shut-eye, you can use my suite.
I've heard there was a shower in there and everything. Is that true?
I don't know about everything but, uh, I've never had any complaints.
Let me give you the grand tour.
Ah, I can't believe I'm doing this.
So...
...what was the negotiation like? What did, uh, Bud Hammond say?
Remember night of Garcetti nomination when you made that pass at me?
I said you were gross...
...and I wouldn't sleep with you if you were last douche on the planet?
- Hmm. - I was lying about the sleep with part.
Aren't you still seeing your boss? You're not gonna say anything?
I applied a couple times, I wouldn't wanna hurt my chances...
Seriously. Shut up.
We were supposed to rehearse. You ditched me.
I can play with my eyes closed.
"Second Time Around", though? I don't want Dougie to get all pissed off at me.
Well, it's a second stab at his engagement party, so it fits.
[CHUCKLES]
Nice save. You know all the lyrics?
Where's my check, you little shit?
Did you forge my name and cash it? For how much?
No, I couldn't, I'm sorry.
- Look, I can explain. - No, you don't have to explain.
Yesterday, when you bailed on me...
...I didn't tell you the whole story about the horn player.
- That was your grandfather, T.J. - You never said he was a musician.
Well, he was when we met.
That was before the booze and before the heroin.
I left him right after your mother was born.
Even I knew that that was no environment to bring a kid up in.
Not long after that, he got beat up trying to score some drugs.
They split his lip in two places and knocked out all his front teeth.
- His embouchure. - After that, he was washed up.
They found him about five years later in some flea-bag motel.
Dead.
So you don't have to explain to me why you stole from me, honey.
I know your story.
I know how it ends.
But if you ever steal from me again...
...I swear to God, I will never speak to you as long as I live.
Have you got that?
Okay.
We should get dressed. We got people coming.
I wanna run it once before they get here. I don't wanna screw up later.
ANNA: Please say it's delicious. - Mm, you're delicious.
Stop.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
- Anne, you look absolutely stunning. - Oh, heh.
Mom, can I talk to you for a second?
- Sure. - Excuse us.
Um, look...
...I meant what I said yesterday about how difficult this is going to be.
But if anyone can pull it off, you can.
[ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
It's great to be back home. Oh, Anne, you are a vision.
[BUD AND ANNE CHUCKLE]
Hey, Dougie, get over here and give your old pappy a hug.
And not one of your pussy hugs, neither. A real hug, come on.
[CHUCKLES]
- Oh. Hell. I am so proud of you, son. - Thanks, Dad.
- Sugar. - Bud.
[SINGING] There are those who'd bet
Love comes but once and yet
I'm oh so glad we met
The second time around
[ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
[SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON PIANO]
Come on, sugar.
[CHUCKLES]
ELAINE: Nice job yesterday.
- Couldn't have done it without you. - No. You couldn't have.
But you could've done it without me, which got me thinking.
When you making the announcement?
About Garcetti. Now, don't worry, baby.
I'm not gonna say anything.
I sent you because I knew you would bring those journalists home.
Yeah, and maybe get my numbers boosted a little in the process.
Come on, baby, it's me talking. Just say it. Hmm?
Say the words.
Yes, Bud.
I am gonna run for president.
Without you.
I know you said give you space but I had to talk to you, sugar.
If you wanna continue this conversation...
...Donald Hammond, tell me something true.
And I mean something that is true now...
...and will still be true in five years and in 15 years and in 50.
Can you do that?
You should leave me.
I'll cheat again. And I'll lie again.
And I'll break your heart again.
Retain Stacy Phillips.
Uh, you have to come out of this looking good.
Now, you'll get no flack from me, Elaine.
I'm not leaving.
You swore an oath to the chiefjustice with your hand on the Bible.
And this ring sat there on the Bible.
And in that moment, I became first wife.
I married the nation.
I will be in the Lincoln Bedroom until further notice.
Put me on your calendar in the morning...
...to figure out how we're gonna talk to the boys about Sarah Latham.
This reminds me of dancing at our first inaugural.
Heh, you took lessons for a month and you hit on the instructor.
Come on, sugar.
Do you only remember the bad parts or do you remember the good times too?
I remember all of it.
SUSAN: It was a triumphant day for the former president.
No, I don't mean the three American lives he negotiated for in Turkey.
Bud's most artful act of diplomacy took place at home with his ex-wife.
Somehow he managed to negotiate his way back into her good graces.
But the day belongs to Secretary of State Elaine Barrish.
With the White House intransigent, the secretary placed...
... one of the larger political bets we have ever witnessed on the table.
She bet it all on a man who's spent a lifetime...
... violating her trust and publicly humiliating her.
I've written a lot about Elaine Barrish in this paper over the years.
I've criticized her for just about everything...
... from her policies, to her marriage, to her motives, to her hair.
I was right about the hair, by the way.
I've written a lot of things about Elaine Barrish, except thank you.
I've never written that. Until today.
SUSAN: Well, why are you telling me this?
DOUGLAS: Why? Because if I don't kill this now, it'll start all over.
My parents, they have spent their lives putting this country before our family.
Somebody has to put our family first. We can't take another run. We won't survive it.
- I can't print this without confirmation. - Find it.
My mother is going to run again against Garcetti.
I'm sorry, that's all I can tell you.
[English - US - SDH] Ripped By mstoll