(john h.) ho ho ho, america!
"wipeout's" back, and it's time to deck the ball.
'tis the season to be ballsy!
(john a.) that's right.
The world's most extraordinary obstacle course
Is ringing in winter with a very special holiday edition.
Merry christmas.
Our balls have been decked,
And 24 merrymakers are ready to battle it out for $50,000.
We'll see who's naughty or nice... Ohh!
Ring some bells... Uhh!
And spread christmas cheer all over the course.
Only three will advance to face the bitter cold
In the all-new winter wipeout zone.
The holidays' most epic competition begins now.
One will become a champion, but all will...
Wipe out.
(woman) I love you, christmas!
Hello, america, and welcome to "deck the balls,"
The special christmas edition of "winter wipeout."
I'm john anderson, here with the very festive john henson.
I loves me some christmas, johnny.
Gives me a chance to show off
My vast collection of christmas sweaters... Lovely.
But let's not forget what christmas is all about.
Yeah. Getting.
You meant giving.
'course. I can't get if you don't give. Get it?
I think so.
Good. Now give me something.
Well, how about the gift of "wipeout"?
I have 24 men and women ready for their shot
At a $50,000 stocking stuffer, and it all begins
With the challenge of our all-new christmas qualifier.
First up, the sweet nutcracker.
Awesome. Our show has some pretty big nuts.
Then it's on to the candy canes.
Candy that'll stick to the roof of your head.
Next, it's the jingle balls, with a christmas bonus, johnny.
Grab that present on the fourth ball, win $500. (cash register bell dings)
That's a lot of christmas ham.
Don't you mean "ho-ho-ho-tivator"?
He'll be using that santa strength
To bring wipeouts to all the good little girls and boys.
From there, it's up to the snowfall.
That's a big flake,
Which is what my guidance counselor called me
When he recommended trade school.
And finally, santa's workshop.
Guarded by vicious attack elves,
Hopped up on ballsy's eggnog.
I gotta get that secret recipe. Mm.
Of our 24 holiday hopefuls, only 12 will move on
For a chance at putting 50 grand under the tree, john.
I'm as excited as... Me on christmas morning.
Well, hang on to your sweater, then,
Because I have one more present for you.
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Uh, a knit cap, skinny jeans, and a pashmina?
No.
It is the gift of our new cohost, vanessa lachey.
Santa brought us a lady?
That's been on my list since '87.
Hey, thanks, guys, so much.
I just want to say I'm a huge fan of both of you.
Anderson, I love your work on espn,
And, henson, your dad invented the muppets, right?
Uh, no.
Oh, well, uh... You know what?
I'm sure you've got other cool stuff going on.
It's--it's cool.
Yeah, I'm--I'm taking a hip-hop dance class on saturdays...
That's good. If you want to come down, check it out.
You know what? Maybe another time. Okay.
'cause right now it's time to kick off
Our "deck the balls" christmas special.
Here's our first contestant, jessica kerr.
Aw, a christmas penguin.
Aah!
Whoa. I think she got into mr. Penguin's poppers.
Whoo! Yeah, jessica's obsessed with penguins.
I don't believe it. Vanessa?
Aah! Oh, my gosh.
(john h.) okay, I believe it. She's got the outfit, the dance.
I just didn't know penguins screamed.
Aah!
(john a.) maybe she was raised by pterodactyls.
(air horn blows) jessica the penguin
First to test the sweet nutcracker.
Hope she left her nuts in her other penguin suit.
She eases right past that first one.
Maybe these guys are sweeter than they look.
Ohh, ho ho, no! Oh, goodness! Penguin down!
I think I'm gonna love the nutcracker.
I can feel it right down in my--
Careful.
Bones! I was gonna say "bones." jeez.
Jessica the penguin on to the candy canes.
You're not gonna get me, you candy canes!
Penguins and candy canes,
Or as polar bears know it, christmas dinner.
Ohh! Oh, ho ho!
That is "ow" candy.
Ooh, ho ho!
Wow, I haven't seen a caning like that
Since I jaywalked in singapore.
Big fun now for penguin--
The jingle balls, featuring our ho-ho-ho-tivator.
He was great as tim allen, johnny.
Holy jingle balls.
You said it, sister.
Maybe she can jingle all the way--
Ohh! Oh! Oh, ho!
Oh, ho ho, penguins are so cute and bouncy. Whoa! Aah!
Somebody should make a movie about them.
First look at the snowfall now, where jessica will swoop down
Past the spokes of our spinning snowflake.
Ohh! Snow she didn't!
Our flightless bird didn't stand a chance with the snowfall.
Sea lions aren't looking so mean after all now, are they?
Penguin jessica waddling her way over
To the final obstacle of the day, santa's workshop.
Oh, boy. There are the elves. Is anybody else terrified?
Oh! Oh! Just me?
Brace yourself, jessica. Ooh! Ah!
Penguin jessica battling through the aerial elf attack.
Ohh! Ee!
Into ballsy's eggnog.
You ever seea penguin dunked in eggnog?
I was in a fraternity, vanessa.
Oh, ho! Oh, ho. Don't toy with these toy makers.
You don't get to be an attack elf
By being a nice guy.
Come on, girl. You're almost there.
(blows raspberry) oh, ho!
Hope her mate wasn't watching.
Don't worry. It's winter.
He's probably sitting on a glacier, incubating an egg.
Well, this March of the penguin ends with a time of 4:39.
I made it! I made it.
Who's next?
Well, back at the big balls
Is 34-year-old chrissa robby, from salem, oregon.
Salem? Santa!
It's a christmas witch! Quick! See if she floats!
Yeah, salem, oregon, not massachusetts.
I think every woman has a little bit of witch in them.
See? Vanessa knows what I'm talking about.
Guys, there is no such thing as a christmas witch.
Trust me, john. Even santa has a few enemies.
Ah, ha ha ha! Oh, ho ho!
Oh, the snowfall knows how to flip a witch.
It takes a wiccan...
Mm. Ohh!
And keeps on tickin'.
All right, enough of this christmas fear.
Give me some christmas cheer.
(humming "jingle bells") done. Meet wisconsin native carey conley.
Oh, man. I wish I could get this as a ringtone.
Oh, that's it. Yeah, back that thinup
(stops humming) (applause)
Well, carey calls her impressive instrument the human kazoo,
Johnny, and she gave vanessa a quick music lesson.
You have to take your lip and put it underneath your teeth
Just lightly... Okay.
And then hum. So then the vibration-- (hums)
You're pretty close.
Mom, dad! Did you know I could do that?
(both humming "we wish you a merry christmas")
I can kazoo!
(laughs)
I'm a human kazoo! I could quit!
(john h.) wait, what?
I could go tour the country.
Absolutely. (john h.) absolutely not.
You can't quit on your first day. (vanessa) this is great.
Carey, it's so nice to meet you... (john h.) really? We just became besties.
And good luck on the course. Thank you. I was about to break up with anderson to make room for you.
(hums "we wish you a merry christmas")
(john a.) well, that is pretty good.
Take that. Mnh!
All right, mick jagger. Time to get back to work.
Oh, yes.
(air horn blows) all right, mr. Nutcracker. You and me.
That's right, human kazoo carey. You tell him.
I wonder if she'll blow it on the sweet nutcracker.
Yeah? See what I did there? "blow it"? Because--
You're a pro.
(hums, yells)
Oh, she's not gonna be able to kazoo right for a week.
The nutcracker is wholesome holiday fun.
Can we see more, please?
Aah!
Ohh, that hurts me in my sugarplums.
Ah, ha! Oh, ho ho ho!
Oh, they've been making beautiful nut music all day.
Ooh! Ahh!
It's a christmas spectacular of wipeouts.
Nutcrackers will make you cry,
And then they'll laugh at you.
Nothing is better than culture mixed with...
Ohh! Ah, ha--violence.
Oof! Ohh!
Right in the tutu.
Ho ho ho! Chest hair, don't fail me now!
Chest hair? Uhh!
Oh! That is michael angelo gonzalez,
And as the name suggests, he's an artist.
What's chest hair got to do with it?
Everything, john.
(vanessa) that is fantastic.
How did you get into shaving your chest?
No, it's, uh, just something to do.
You have chest hair, you might as well, you know, design on it.
You have a canvas, use it.
(john h.) amen, brother,
But "wipeout" is really more of a performance art.
Whoo!
Ahh! Oh, ho! Right in the guggen-heinie.
Snowflakes aren't supposed to hurt.
Oh, vanessa. You have so much to learn.
So let's not waste time. Back to the start.
'tis the season to be ballsy!
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo! Par-tay!
Sounds like somebody's
Already been dipping into the holiday spirits.
That's amanda ciurdar,
And she gave vanessa the real story.
So what is your favorite thing about christmas?
Oh, gosh. I love eggnog. It's my favorite.
(john h.) what-what! Let's get blitzed!
Do you ever spike your eggnog?
(laughs) shh.
(john h.) don't be ashamed, sister.
Without booze, it's just egg juice and nutmeg.
What's a guy got to do to get ballsy's secret recipe, anyway? (air horn blows)
Amanda off like a shot of eggnog and holiday cheer.
Yeah, that's what santa feeds his reindeer,
Especially blitzen.
Whoa!
Whoa, ho! Giddyap! Oh, ho!
At the top of the steps, there arose quite a clatter,
Because blitzen got hit by a nutcracker batter.
Blitzen continues to the jingle bells,
A ho-ho-ho-tivator hovering, kind of like
An office christmas party at the north pole, I'm guessing.
Ohh! Ahh!
And barely got a sniff of our $500 present.
What, you really expect blitzen not to get a little wobbly
At the christmas party?
John, christmas is about more than getting blitzed.
It's about family.
That's why amanda's husband sam ciurdar is also here today.
Jiminy christmas! Blitzen has a husband?
Why, I bet he's the biggest christmas partier ever!
Uh, maybe he's still in a food coma from thanksgiving.
Jangle your jingle bells at him.
(bells jingle)
Wow.
Wonder if he was a little more jovial with vanessa.
It is christmastime,
So do you think you have the christmas spirit with you?
Because you seem like you're ready to go.
Um, yes.
(john h., singsongy) boring.
I am so excited. Let's do this.
(yawns)
(normal voice) talk about ebenezer snooze.
I wonder if he perks up in cold water.
We'll certainly get a chance to find out.
Ohh, yi!
Oh, ghost of christmas replay, let's see that again.
Ha ha ha! Oh, ho ho ho!
God bless us, every wipeout.
What a heartwarming christmas story.
Host of christmas present, these things you've shown me,
These wipeouts-- are they real or only a dream?
No, they-- they just happened.
Well, can ebenezer snooze learn the true meaning of wipeout?
Is his fate set in stone?
Yeah, it's too early to tell, actually.
We have 12 more contestants that need to run the qualifier,
So anything can happen.
(sighs) thank heavens, there's still time!
Thank you, host of christmas present! Mm-hmm.
Merry christmas.
You know, unless this is my horrible dream,
We're gonna be right back.
Who else wants a christmas hug, huh? Come here, you!
Ow. All right, that's a "no." anybody else want a hug?
Hey, goat! Come on! Come back!
Welcome back to
The "winter wipeout--deck the balls" christmas special.
That is another swell sweater.
Thanks. It's boatneck.
You know, all hosts of major tv specials do costume changes. Mm-hmm.
You want one? I got a whole bag of 'em.
No, yeah, actually, I like this.
Suit yourself. Get it? "suit"? Mm-hmm.
(chuckles) 'cause you're wearing a suit.
Yeah, I got it.
Thanks.
Speaking of hosts, we should check in on the new kid,
See how she's doing, you know? Show her the ropes. Right.
I forgot to tell her not to look ballsy in the eye.
What about the secret ingredient?
(john h.) what?
Is he giving vanessa the secret eggnog recipe?
Don't be jealous.
I'm not jealous. I'm just disappointed.
Man, he is a real playball.
Would a little christmas carnage cheer you up?
I mean, probably.
All right, then. Let's go down to the course,
Where sandra taylor is ready to go.
(high-pitched voice) ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
That tickles!
Holy cow. That is a spot-on tickle me elmo impression... (air horn blows)
Not unlike the one left in my forehead
At the mall on black Friday.
Little girls are deceptively strong, john.
Ahh! Oh, ho ho!
Tickle me sandra gets it right in the giggle hole. (laughs) yeah!
The nutcracker is a puppet master.
He knocked her silly.
Well, tickle me sandra will love our candy canes.
You know, she runs on candy... And double "a" batteries.
Great snuffleupagus!
With any best-selling toy,
You got to watch out for cheap knockoffs.
Tickle me sandra's up to the big balls.
Lobbying santa for a spot under the tree--marketing genius.
Ho ho. Tickle me sandra goes flying off the shelf.
Oh, I'd wait in line a week just to see that again.
Tickle me sandra at the top of the snowfall...
(giggling) and giggling like it's her job.
Ohh, ho, mr. Hooper's ghost!
That was a belly laugh.
Well, henson thinks it was awesome.
Who else is in santa's bag?
Funny you should ask.
I've got this in the bag!
And he means that literally. Man designs bags.
I love me some fanny packs. Vanessa, tell me more.
I am down here with david bracken.
David, welcome to the show.
Indeed. It's christmas, and I have a present for you,
A "wipeout" bag that I made. You got me a present?
Indeed.
This is beautiful. Did you make this?
I did. I made it out of recycled material,
So just like "wipeout," it's environmentally friendly.
(air horn blows) (john h.) the bag man david
In the unfriendly environment of the nutcracker.
And I've got this in the bag!
Ohh, ho! Oh, ho! Sweet lord!
Ho ho ho. The nutcracker pulverized every nut in his bag.
Santa, put this in the bag.
Wow, two sack masters talking bags, johnny.
It's a real meeting of the minds.
Ahh! Ahh!
Bag man david is bagged and tagged,
But there are more contestants to open.
Yeah, up ahead, emerging from ballsy's eggnog,
22-year-old emily spoonrong is under a full-scale elf assault.
Ah, ha ha! Ohh!
(vanessa) just ignore the flying toys.
Absolutely. Ignore your feelings.
That's what the holidays are all about.
See? It's working. She's almost to the end.
All she has to do is make it to the final platform. (quacks)
Oh, ho! Ohh! What the duck?!
Good one. Our christmas duck cooked emily's goose.
And with a time of 5:42... Yeah!
Probably won't be advancing to the next round.
Where's our next christmas star?
She's back at the start.
18-year-old autumn bates is gonna give it a run.
This course is for noobs!
And in case you don't know, noobs are rookies!
Oh, yeah. I knew that, autumn.
You did? Well, did you know
That autumn is the master of first-person shooter games?
Yes.
Autumn, a.K.A. Gamergirl93,
Has been my multiplayer nemesis for the past three months,
But she's in my house now,
And I'm about to score some points.
(snaps fingers) go! My controller.
What are you doing?
I fitted autumn with one of our new gaming vests
That will allow me to control her run through the course.
John, you can't control a contestant.
Wanna bet? (air horn blows)
I'm gonna show her how it's done--
High score, no wipeouts.
Ow. All right. After the nutcracker.
Everybody wipes out on that stunt. It's impossible.
But watch as I absolutely pwn the candy cane.
Darn it. Something's wrong with my controller.
Yeah, like, you're not controlling her.
No way, anderson. I got this. Watch. Jump. Jump!
Ooh. Aw, man!
I almost got to the fourth ball. Should have turned off auto-aim.
(screams)
I'll have to respawn.
Yeah, you know
You had absolutely nothing to do with autumn's run.
What, john? Don't be such a noob, man.
And--and this?
Wireless?
I'm guessing not.
Could we please just get back down to the course
And see who's next?
What time is it?
Christmastime!
Jim cashman knows his calendar, johnny.
Whoa. He can tell time and dance?
I gotta know more. Vanessa?
What's--what's with the cookie sheet?
I love to bake cookies.
You do? I do.
That's great, yet you didn't bring any.
You just brought the prop. You're a cookie tease.
Imagination.
(john h.) I can't have imaginary cookies.
I'm allergic to imaginary gluten.
Jim the cookie tease on his way to face a very real santa.
There's a guy you don't want to present
With an empty cookie plate.
Oh, ho ho! Ah, ha! Holy snickerdoodle!
The cookie tease went all the way
With the jingle balls.
All part of the season of giving, john,
And our christmas course generously providing
The merry gift of pratfalls.
There are all kinds of joys for good girls and boys,
Like candy cane... Ohh!
Ooh-hoo! And jingle balls.
Ahh!
Hooray! Snowball fight!
And the best thing about christmas? Santa.
Ohh! Hey!
And don't forget the attack elves.
Sweet gumdrops, they've got vanessa!
Oh, ho ho!
(deep voice) merry christmas! Ho ho--nrr.
It really is the most wonderful time of the year.
Sad to see it end, johnny, but we are down
To our last contestant, who's with vanessa.
Thank you, guys, so much.
I'm down here now with shawn townsend.
Merry christmas.
Yeah!
Wow, you're very excited about christmas.
Yes, ma'am. I-I live for christmas.
The entire month of November, just count me out,
Because I don't do anything but christmas lights.
Can you see it from space?
Unfortunately, yes.
(john h.) unfortunately? Own it, captain christmas!
You've got to do something that says,
"I love christmas more than you."
Let's give santa's workshop a little bling, shall we?
Seems like a waste of electricity.
Nah, we just cut the heat in your trailer.
Uh-oh! The attack elves look hungry.
Hold me.
Nope.
Oh, you hate to see the minions of santa
Turn this into a hate captain christmas crime.
Oh, ho ho, man.
It's just toys, shawn. They're just toys.
Yes, but even plush toys,
Dangerous in the hands of highly trained black op elves.
Ignore all the flying objects. Be one with yin.
(yells)
Ohh! Ahh!
Vanessa, not even you
Can keep a man safe in the face of an elf attack.
Captain christmas
Survives a little friendly fire from the attack elves
D will continue to fight for christmas cash.
Joining him in the next round,
Look for the penguin jessica kerr... (jessica) aah!
Amanda "blitzen" ciurdar,
And her husband sam, ebenezer snooze.
Also still in it, we have the cookie tease jim cashman,
Bag man david bracken, and gamer girl autumn bates.
Stay tuned, america.
More holly jolly "wipeout" and an all-new winter obstacle,
Straight ahead.
♪
We are back and still decking the balls
On our all-new "winter wipeout" christmas special.
24 wise men and women started the day,
But only 12 foolish ones remain.
That's right, johnny, and santa claus will fill
One lucky winner's stocking with $50,000...
Mm-hmm. That's probably stolen.
Santa doesn't steal anything.
Oh, sure, he just sneaks around at night,
Breaking into people's homes.
To give them presents. He's santa claus.
Oh. Do you mean saint nicholas?
Or kris kringle? Or is it father christmas?
Dude has more aliases than a mob boss.
What are you running from, fat man?
That is kooky talk.
Let's just look and see
Who's still in the running for our 50 grand, shall we?
I'm watching you, claus.
Still in the mix, we have the human kazoo carey conley,
Chest hair artist michael angelo gonzalez,
And ebenezer snooze sam ciurdar.
We also have tickle me sandra taylor...
(sandra, high-pitched voice) that tickles!
Bag man david bracken,
And captain christmas shawn townsend.
Now these 12 winter warriors will slush it out
On an all-new challenge called pain in the ice.
Here's how it works.
Our contestants will start together,
Huddled around the ice hole.
(imitates hank kingsley) hey, now!
Contestants will brave the arctic water,
Dropping through the hole onto the fishing pole
For a spin over to the landing platform.
Then it's a tricky balancing act atop the lumber tumbler...
Oh, no! An ice-slick walk
Across the wooden plank to the other side. Whoo-hoo!
That's followed by a perilous trip
Across the frosty footbridge...
Oh, hold on. Hold on. Yep. Featuring a relentless freezing rush from our arctic waterfall.
Finally, they'll move it or luge it... Whoo!
With a belly slide down the snow chute.
The first six competitors landing safely
On the finish platform advance to the next round.
Let the reindeer games begin, johnny.
(cheering)
(woman) something looks fishy about this.
Those fish are mean-looking.
(autumn) why are there fish on here?
Like, whatish swim in ice? Because it's an ice hole.
We're fishing.
Yeah, gamer girl is not what you'd call the outdoorsy type.
(sandra, high-pitched voice) here, fishy, fishy,
Fishy, fishy, fishy.
Tickle me sandra's so cute,
It's starting to bug.
♪ 12 contestants leaping
Hey! "wipeout" caroling!
♪ 11 balls a'... Balls-ing
Oh, boy. I think she's making this up on the fly.
♪ 10... Snowblowers blowing ♪
♪ 9 christmas dogs
This is fun.
(air horn blows) (john a.) mercifully, there's the horn,
And chest hair artist michael angelo
Leads with his art. Chest first on the fishing po--
Oh! Past the platform. Gonna have to go around again.
Ohh! Ohh!
Holy dog pile!
Ebenezer snooze's attempt to spoon is thwarted,
But chest hair artist hangs on
And can move on to the lumber tumbler.
Great save.
He needs to use that rotating plank
As a bridge to the next platform.
Oh, not good. Oh, ho!
He is a hot impressionist mess.
Tickle me sandra gives the fishing pole a big hug.
She's on to the next section. Gamer girl--oh, ho--
Oh, ho! Takes a direct hit.
Tickle me sandra walking.
(chuckles) oh! Goes gonzo.
Cookie tease jim-- impressive hanging on.
That's a nonstick sweeper bar.
Onto the platform, and he can roll ahead.
Go.
Captain christmas lured onto the fishing pole.
Perfect. He's moving on to the lumber tumbler.
Tickle me sandra...
Oh, ho! Gives the platform a kiss.
She is so lifelike.
(david) I've got it in the bag.
Bag man david making the rounds. He's got it.
Cookie tease getting into the mix.
He's on to the next section.
Yeah, the frightening frosty footbridge.
Back at the hole, ebenezer snooze trying again.
Come on, baby. Come on, baby.
His wife cheering him on.
Ohh! Ay!
Slippery little suckers.
Captain christmas--another go on the lumber tumbler,
And he is across to the frosty footbridge.
Yeah, but not before cookie tease rolls out.
Let's go, jim!
Ohh! Oh, ho!
Cookie tease is burned
Over at the start...
Oh, dear! Oh, ho!
Blitzen gets sloshed by that sweeper arm.
Yeah, babe!
(amanda) ow!
I guess the honeymoon is over.
Aw! Dang it! Go ahead and go!
Captain christmas getting cold feet.
You don't have to tell chest hair artist twice.
He's not big on overthinking things, john.
Yeah! Oh, ho ho!
Say what you will, he has been out front the whole game,
And now he is headed for the final obstacle.
Captain christmas slides into the frosty footbridge.
I can't see!
Wow. Near-whiteout conditions.
(jim) come on, shawn!
Cookie tease eager to go again.
Ooh! Ohh!
Cookie tease gets double stuffed.
Captain christmas still needs to make that last treacherous leap.
Whoa, ho ho! Hey!
Captain christmas has finally made it across.
(shawn) that sucked.
Chest hair artist set for the snow chute.
Bosom covered with foam? Typical.
Ohh! Ohh!
Chest block!
Ebenezer snooze taking a shot at the lumber tumbler. Made it!
Made it.
I've got this in the bag.
Bag man showing the confidence it takes to rock a man purse,
And he's across.
Captain christmas...
Ooh! Ooh!
Taking his enthusiasm a bit too far.
Way back, gamer girl finally dominating the fishing pole.
Way ahead of her, the bag man sliding down the snow chute.
Ahh! Oh, ho ho!
He got it in the water.
(giggling) tickle me sandra sharing a laugh
With her pal, the frosty footbridge.
Gamer gir-- oh, look at that--
Makes it to the next level on the lumber mbler.
Tickle me sandra goes, "whee!"
And then gets a boo-boo on her jawbone. That tickles.
Superman!
And cookie tease...
Aah!
Ohh! Oh, ho ho! Did you catch that, john?
Cookie tease pauses for a snack break.
Amazing. No one has mastered the slide yet.
I can relate, john.
It took me the first four years of kindergarten.
Gamer girl, playing in search-and-destroy mode,
Is across the footbridge.
Looks like she's found the cheat codes, johnny.
I've got this in the bag.
♪ bag man...
Oh! Out of style!
Gamer girl flying through that last section,
And the same thing here! She sticks the landing!
Gamer girl, the first contestant moving on.
So gamer girl had an awesome come-from-behind victory.
Who's gonna be next?
(woman) fancy meeting you here. Come here often?
Probably not them.
Captain christmas leading the group,
And he becomes our second contestant to light it up.
Yeah, baby!
Ebenezer snooze sleep-sliding right through it.
Yes! He takes the third spot. Three left now. Yeah! Whoo!
Did he make it? (man) he's good!
Whoo! Blitzen has a reason to party now.
Her husband is moving on.
I got it in the bag.
Yeah, just keep telling yourself that, bag man.
No, he's got it in the satchel. Whoa!
Two spots open,
And tickle me sandra close behind.
She gives herself a pep talk in the third person,
And henson likes it!
That leaves us with one spot left.
Chest hair artist launches.
Ah... So close! D'oh!
He has been ahead the whole game.
He just can't close the deal.
This is it. That leaves the door wide open for cookie tease,
And he has got it.
"c" is for "cookie tease." that's good enough for him.
All right, guys, we got our six contestants
Moving on in our christmas special.
Merry christmas!
Excellent accounting, vanessa.
Still playing for the 50 gs-- gamer girl autumn bates,
Captain christmas his own self, shawn townsend,
And ebenezer snooze sam ciurdar.
Also still in it, we have david "the bag man" bracken...
(david) I've got this in the bag!
Tickle me sandra taylor, and cookie tease jim cashman.
But before they get a shot at the all-new winter wipeout zone,
They have to face one coldhearted christmas snake.
♪
Welcome back to "deck the balls,"
Our first-ever holiday special here on "wipeout."
Little help? Little help? Oh, jeez. Johnny.
That's it.
I'm making a documentary, "when christmas lights attack."
Well, you've never been the brightest bulb,
Have you, buddy?
Ah, ha--I don't get it.
Well, we'll come back around to it.
Right now we have six contestants still in the running
For the ultimate in christmas bling, $50,000.
They are gamer girl autumn bates,
Captain christmas shawn townsend,
And ebenezer snooze sam ciurdar.
Also in it, we have bag man david bracken,
Tickle me sandra taylor,
And jim cashman, the cookie tease.
Clearly, decorating for the holidays
Is harder than it looks.
Speaking of which, we have a brand-new obstacle
That is sure to confound and amaze
Our six christmas crackers.
Yes. It's called the coldhearted snake...
(hiss)
In 3-d!
Coldhearted snake.
Yes, I named it
After my second-favorite paula abdul song.
Second-favorite.
Yeah, "vibeology" just didn't make sense for christmas.
I get that, as long as it makes sense to you.
(hissing voice) yes, tons of christmas sense.
Here's how it works.
First, contestants will make their way across
Two sets of slithering snow sweepers,
Circling around until they make it to the next platform.
From there, it's on to plummet summit,
A giant rotating slide that, at its very top,
Is 25 feet high. Aah!
Timing crucial here, as contestants accelerate
Down and over the snake's slippery back.
Then it's on to the shivering timbers.
Find a way across these rotating wooden planks,
Onto the snowball, and one final leap to the finish platform...
And you have conquered the course. (hisses)
First three contestants to finish
Will advance to the wipeout zone.
Let's start up the snake, shall we?
(air horn blows)
Our contestants up the ramp
And into the icy lair of the coldhearted christmas snake.
Quickly,benezer snooze...
Ohh! Ohh!
Getting royally scrooged on his first attempt.
Captain christmas takes charge, followed by the bag man,
Tickle me sandra, and the cookie tease.
The bases are loaded.
Aw! I got this in the b--
Oh, ho! Ohh!
Bag man got it in the gut.
Oh! And the sweeper just tossed its cookie tease.
Come on, sandra. Make that jump.
Ohh! Oh, ho ho ho!
Ohh!
"make that jump"? Make any jump.
How about standing on your tippytoes?
Gamer girl coming around.
She's determined that the ladies will not be embarrassed.
Ohh! Ohh!
Oh!
Oh, boy.
Check it out.
The bag man is the first one to make it to plummet summit.
(david) got it in the bag!
(man) what bag? Is he holding a bag?
(man) no, he's not holding a bag.
How is it possible they don't know his catchphrase yet?
It's all he says.
He'll have to tell 'em later.
The bag man ascending to the plummet summit.
Aah! Oh, in the bag!
Ohh! Oh, ho! Hoo hoo hoo!
He checked out at the express lane and bagged himself.
Oh, in the bag! (crash)
Oh, I think he broke his eggs.
The cookie tease-- he looks cut out for this.
All right. (vanessa) good job, jim.
(jim) thank you, vanessa.
Don't celebrate yet.
Captain christmas has caught the cookie scent.
Ohh! Ohh!
Captain christmas clearly has the experience
Falling off of ladders and hanging from the roof.
Look at that grip!
Yeah, baby!
He's on. Cookie tease off the plummet summit.
I hate heights. I hate heights.
Make sure to adjust for high altitude baking.
Shoot!
Oh, ho! Ohh!
When they land on their face...
I know. It's great, right?
The gamer girl's advancing.
Is captain christmas done decorating the rooftop?
That is unfair. Ah! Negative.
Looks like ebenezer snooze has advanced.
That makes everybody but...
Tickle me sandra,
Who's starting to sound like tickle me gollum.
(david) ain't no thing.
Our gamer girl riding the snake...
Aw! Oh!
But can't complete the stage. Ebenezer snooze...
Oh, ho ho! Oh! And he succumbs to the serpent.
And still trying to grow--catch up...
(high-pitched voice) 50th time is the charm.
Tickle me sandra.
Ohh.
There you go.
Cookie tease lined up to plummet the summit.
Ohh! Ohh!
Time to come across, cookie tease.
Avoids the wipeout,
And down the back of the coldhearted snake,
Where he'll be the first to face the shivering timbers.
Dude, check it out.
Gamer girl trying to make it a 2-player game.
There she is, sliding into action...
Clears the gap while cookie tease looks
To pick a giant snowball fight.
I don't like white balls. Oh, that was terrible.
Oh! Ay!
Yes, it was.
Ebenezer snooze... (grunts)
Aah! Aah!
Got the dickens knocked out of him.
He is a coldhearted snake. Look into his eyes.
Captain christmas working as hard... (woman) whoo!
As the jolly old elf on christmas. (groans)
And resting like in the day after.
These two better get moving.
Ohh! Eh, take your time.
Cookie tease at the snake's mouth.
Bag man at the snake's tail.
Aah! Oh! And gamer girl is all thumbs.
Bag man doesn't appear rattled. (woman) whoo!
And where does the fashionable man
Keep his coldhearted snake this season?
In the bag, baby. Let's go. Who's gonna be the first one over?
I think we can count out tickle me gollum.
Uhh!
Bag man makes an aggressive move.
Clutching the shivering timbers,
Jumping to make the snowball. Yes!
(vanessa) yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now one huge leap to qualify for the wipeout zone.
Oh! Yay! Soaring over to safety, johnny.
In the bag! Wow!
First try! In the bag!
Wow. Sounds like even he's getting tired
Of his catchphrase.
It's cookie tease... (vanessa) yes. Yes.
Digging into that snowball
Like it's the largest sugarcoated rum ball ever.
(man) come on, jim!
Okay, one big jump for mankind.
Wow. He needs to stick to baking
Because he butchered that quote. Aah!
Wow!
Oh! Rats! Lord have mercy!
Gamer girl springing into action.
Over the shivering timbers, onto the snowball.
Oh, my god. Gonna need a power boost for this jump.
Here we go. Are we gonna have a lady in the wipeout zone?
Ohh! Oh, ho!
(singsongy) in the face!
That's gonna hurt tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
That hurts right now! (grunts)
ebenezer snooze might be a sleeper.
Captain christmas draining the energy supply,
Using that grip to overcome shivering timbers.
He's onto the snowball. (vanessa) shawn.
Oh, god. Captain christmas ready
For the most wonderful leap of the year.
Make it happen, captain!
(grunts)
Oh!
Oh, ho ho! He looks like another famous captain--
Crunch.
Check it out. It's ebenezer snooze out front,
Going for the giant snowball.
And... He made it!
Can he bore his way into the second spot
In the wipeout zone?
(vanessa) yeah!
All right. We got our second contestant in the wipeout zone,
And it's sam, ladies and gentlemen.
Remarkably, john, still on the hunt for the third spot
Is tickle me sandra.
(normal voice) oh, my god. I made it.
Whoa. What's with the weird voice?
Advantage--gamer girl.
Remember, her first finish attempt ended with a face-plant.
Don't shoot your eye out, kid.
(laughs) oh, no! Ohh! No!
Scorpion!
Scorpions and snakes--
We really nailed the christmas theme, didn't we?
Well, with that threat removed,
The oven door is wide open for cookie tease.
On!
Aah! Mostly on! He's staying on!
Yes! On to the money round. Yeah!
Three are moving on to the wipeout zone,
But christmas is all about giving,
And the other three gave us some of the best wipeouts
Of the round.
I'm gonna wrap these up and give them to someone special.
Congratulations, guys!
You're going to the wipeout zone! (whistle blows)
Yes, they are. Heading to the zone,
We have the cookie tease jim cashman,
David bracken the bag man,
And "ebenezer snooze" sam ciurdar.
(bells jingling) up next, the gift of wipeout keeps on giving
In the all-new winter wipeout zone.
(wind whistles)
♪
We are back on "wipeout's"
First "deck the balls" holiday extravaganza,
As seen on tv.
'twas the night before wipeout, and all through the zone,
Our last three contestants are about to get owned.
Our final contestants so lively and quick
Prefer 50 grand over a gift from saint nick.
But first, they have to take on
The most formidable wint wipeout zone
The world's ever seen. (wind whistles)
And it all starts with
A spine-tingling 7-story descent down killer luge.
From there, it's on to the second obstacle,
The psychedelic snow globe--
A mind-bending trip through this spinning sphere,
Where contestants must tag the center button
In order to drop the exit plank.
Up next is the frozen fury,
An unforgiving uphill battle
To jump over each rotating bar and across to the opposite side.
Finally, our last obstacle, iced over.
Navigate across these revolving diamonds
To the finish platform.
(wind whistles)
Which one of these final three
Will take home the christmas cash?
Up first, cookie tease jim cashman.
Merry christmas, baby, muffin, and boo. Here we go.
Let's take a look at his journey into the zone.
Jim "the cookie tease" cashman
Looked like a promising contestant this morning
When he faced the qualifier.
He took some spills at pain in the ice... Let's go, jim!
And came in at the back of the pack. Aah!
After a tough run on the coldhearted snake... Aah!
We'll see if he has what it takes
Or if he's just a tease.
Jim cashman ready to christen
The all-new winter wipeout zone.
It's game time.
Oh, it's game time, all right.
Cue the lights. Here comes the countdown.
(beeping) seven stories of tough sledding,
And there goes cookie tease.
Oh, ho ho! Yeah!
Whoo!
Oh, yeah. Look at him go!
Jiminy christmas!
Jim slides down all seven stories
Like he's coated in canola oil. Whoo!
Unbelievable.
That was colder than the north pole.
The zone's severe enough in the summer, johnny,
But under these ice-cold conditions.
It is miserable.
Yeah, and the psychedelic snow globe
Won't make it any easier. Challenge here--
Tag that center button, drop the exit platform,
And jump to the other side.
Hops on and grabs hold.
Now he has to carefully get down and tag that button
In the middle. Oh! Loses his footing. Oh!
Aah! Oh! So close!
Oh! Yeah, take a look.
He was within arm's reach,
But that button taunting the tease
As he flails into the water.
That fall forcing a second attempt. I can do this. I can do this.
Jim talking himself into this. Gotta believe.
Again, he enters the snow globe.
A bit more careful in between those pegs.
Got it. He's tagged the center button
And there goes the exit platform.
Cookie tease in the green now.
Exit platform all lined up for him
If he can just get into position to jump.
Oh, man. I'm making this a little difficult.
Jim working on some cooperation with the rotation.
Gotta keep reestablishing your position.
Little behind here. Going for it.
A bold move! Yeah!
Oh! I didn't think he was gonna make that.
On his way to the frozen fury now.
The effort and the effects of that cold
Starting to tighten up those muscles. (grunts)
Look out! (laughs)
Caught by the bar
And back into the zone's frigid waters. Whoa!
Yeah, cookie tease just couldn't get over,
And he has got to be turning blue in frustration. Whoa!
Jim burned up a lot of time
With that 18-foot climb back to the frozen fury.
He is up and over that first bar.
Keeps moving. He might have this obstacle sorted out.
Surging ahead, clears another,
And lopes over to the safety of the platform. Whoo!
Two-thirds of this nightmarish wipeout zone... Whoo!
Now in his rearview,
One obstacle left to go-- iced over.
I'm as tired as santa claus after delivering presents.
Yeah, but still not home. Belly flops forward. Oh, ho ho!
The explosion of that water cannon so unnerving. (laughs)
Ohh! Oh! And the cookie tease is dunked.
Yeah, jim cashman tossed head over heels...
(slo-mo voice) aah!
And back into the water for another long, exhausting swim.
Clock ticking past the 14-minute mark now.
It's a difficult course tonight,
But I don't know if that time's gonna hold up.
Cookie tease balanced and steady
On the second diamond.
Bearing down on the third.
Yeah, clears that gap.
Now for the final payoff.
And he lands it, johnny. Yeah. Well done.
Whoo! All right! Jim cashman has finished the winter wipeout zone
With a time of 14 minutes, 25 seconds. Whoo! Yes!
Hoping to best that time-- the bag man david bracken.
Let's see how he got here.
The bag man david bracken got sacked early today,
Barely surviving our christmas qualifier.
Put this in the bag.
He showed he could withstand pain in the ice... Ooh!
And now after coming in first on the coldhearted snake... Aah!
He's hoping he'll need a bag big enough to hold $50,000.
Bag man ready to go atop killer luge.
14:25 the time to beat.
There go the lights, there's the countdown, (beeping)
And that's a 70-foot drop.
Whoa, ho ho ho!
Wahoo!
Sealed and delivered.
Roll back the replay and watch
As david starts down and accelerates
For the flight of his life... Aah!
Before a crash landing into that freezing water.
Up the ladder now
To the fantastic psychedelic snow globe.
(speaks indistinctly) that button in the center is key.
It triggers e landing platform. Hello!
(laughs) oh, that was good, though.
Bag man toughing it out.
Working down to the center.
Yeah, there you go. Releases the exit platform.
All right, now he's gotta find a way out.
In the bag, not the drink.
Maneuvering across those pegs.
Oh, dicey down on the bottom.
Oh! Really bad body position.
Aah! Oh, he couldn't hold on.
Oh, ho!
Bag man tried to flip himself onto that next peg...
(slo-mo voice) aah!
But didn't have the strength to hold on.
Nearing the 3 1/2-minute mark
As he starts his second attempt.
Ohh! May be a little bruised there.
Bag man getting a break, though. Platform already down,
So he can crawl directly across.
Aah! Well-played.
Yeah. Bag man david bracken made it to the frozen fury.
Almost two minutes ahead
Of cookie tease's pace at this point.
He is flying that.
Let's see if he can extend his lead here.
Here he goes. Steps onto the platform,
A leap over. Oh! Wow. (grunts) aah!
What a letdown, huh?
Wow! One hasty jump... Aah!
And david is soaking his bag in cold water again.
A lot of energy spent for a do-over. It's in the bag.
A lot less conviction in his smack talk.
Coming up on 9 minutes now.
He's running out of time,
But he still has the chance to take the lead.
A little more sure-footed this time.
Can't have another mistake.
Just one more sweeper bar to go.
Clears that one and then bounds onto the platform.
Yeah! Bag man david now on the last obstacle, iced over,
And that puts cookie tease in the pressure cooker.
Bag man looking over the last leg.
Drops onto that first diamond,
Jumping for the next. Aah!
Oh! Oh! Torn up!
Bag man just not getting the hang of it.
(slo-mo voice) aah!
Oh! His time and face taking a beating there.
It's gonna be tight now.
A little more than 15 seconds to finish the course.
He's onto the first diamond.
Good there. 10 ticks left.
Ohh!
He breaks stride, but gets to that last diamond.
Bag man looking for a christmas miracle right here.
Leaping for the lead.
Oh! Oh, no!
So close!
Bag man can't land the jump,
And 50k slips right out of his bag.
(air horn blows) and there is the horn. You heard it.
And that will officially end the bag man's run. Ah.
Cookie tease jim cashman remains our leader,
But is his time of 14 minutes, 25 seconds good enough
To hold up against ebenezer snooze? Whoo!
We'll crown our christmas winner right after this
(wind whistles)
♪
Welcome back to the can't-sleep conclusion
Of our "deck the balls" "wipeout" christmas special.
Yeah, where it's been anything but a silent night.
Hot lights! We've seen two runs in the zone
With one still to go.
Our leader, cookie tease jim cashman,
Came in with a time of 14 minutes, 25 seconds.
Aiming to beat that mark, a man with visions
Of 50 large dancing in his head--
Ebenezer snooze sam ciurdar. Let's do this! Whoo!
Let's review how he arrived here at the winter wipeout zone. Whoo!
Ebenezer snooze sam ciurdar was stingy with excitement
This morning when he ran the qualifier.
He sleepwalked through the pain in the ice,
Landing an unexciting position... (groans)
But now, after a change of character... Whoo!
He's got the "wipeout" spirit in time... Aah!
To put himself in striking distance of the 50k.
Our man in position on killer luge,
From seven stories up in the frosty air.
The time to beat--14:25.
(beeping) the light show signals the start of our show.
Ebenezer snooze is off, all over the place.
Wow! Aah!
You snooze, you luge, john.
Take another look. Gaining speed,
He skyrockets into the air... Aah!
And thrashes right into those frigid waters.
Wow.
What do we do here?
Pretty straightforward. You just get in, climb across,
Tag the center, drop the exit, land the jump.
Ebenezer snooze in action,
Picking his way down.
Oh, boy. Bad slip. Oh!
Oh, ho ho! Bad results.
Ebenezer snooze slips and slides...
(grunting)
Pinballing through the snow globe
With nothing to hold on to.
(grunts)
Here goes nothing. Uhh!
Second go-around of this thing.
Still needs to reach the center button.
Done.
(grunts) exit platform's in place now.
Ebenezer running just behind the pace set by cookie tease.
Ebenezer staying high, looking to make that leap.
Goes for it.
Uhh! Oh, yes. Spot on.
Nice. Oh, shoot.
Ebenezer snooze on the frozen fury now,
Still within striking distance of cookie tease's pace.
But if he's gonna catch up, he has got to move.
Still pays to be conservative, johnny.
In these icy conditions, the platform so slippery.
Struggling to get up. (grunts)
Oh, no!
Not quite enough distance. Shorts it.
Ebenezer snooze doesn't get up in time
And gets another hypothermic wakeup call.
The wipeouts, the swims, the climbs--
All three beating up ebenezer snooze and the clock.
Back in the line of fire now.
Oh! A little scorpion hit on that one.
Oh, ho! Closing in on 10 minutes.
Sam has a real chance to pull ahead of cookie tease
If he can make it through.
Ebenezer's wide awake now, johnny.
One jump to safety, and he's got it. He has got it.
Oh, he's looking good.
Indeed. An exhausted ebenezer
Has caught up with cookie tease jim cashman.
Onto the first diamond. Going for the second.
(grunts) no, sir!
Oh, ho!
Sam gets the snooze knocked out of him...
(grunts)
And he faces another long, grueling swim.
This is his last shot at it. (grunts)
Oh! Oh!
A gut shot, but in good position.
Here's the second one.
(grunts)
Poor guy. Taking it right in the bread basket.
He has the finish in his sights.
Johnny, 20 seconds to get there.
$50,000 waiting for him if he can pull this off.
16 seconds. Just one jump away from victory.
Yes! No way!
Yes! Yes! And that is the most energy we have seen from him all day.
Whoo!
Sam, you just won "wipeout"!
Ebenezer snooze sam ciurdar
Becomes your "wipeout" christmas champion.
And that will put a bow
On our "deck the balls" "wipeout" christmas special.
And please don't forget to catch
The all-new season of winter "wipeout."
We'll be back right after the new year.
Happy holidays, america. I'm john anderson.
And for our cohost vanessa lachey,
I'm john henson saying merry christmas to all
And to all a good night and big balls.
Aah! Aah!
Oh!
Aah!
(grunts)
-- Sync by Rafael UPD -- www.addic7ed.com/
Ah!
Aah! Oh!
(woman) oh!
Aah!
Oh!
Jim!
Aah!
(quack) aah!
Uhh!
(grunts)
Do I look stupid?
Very reindeer chic.