All right. Fucking...
I have to talk to Uncle Ray.
Wait, you guys, wait. No running, okay?
Let's go! - Wait... All right, wait a minute.
No running! Sit down on the dock, okay?
No.
- Ow! Hey! What the hell? - Do you like that?
- Cut it out. What's wrong? - Does that feel good?
What the hell are you doing? Knock it off.
- Whats the matter. Cut that out! - You can't go around hitting people.
He had to go to the emergency room. What's wrong with you?
Shouldn't have been messing with my wife.
She's not your wife anymore!
You big dumb whore!
And now you fucked us.
You totally... You totally fucked us.
What are you talking about?
- He had it coming. - You damaged the merchandise.
The clients are complaining. They're canceling left and right.
He knew who she was. Who the hell are they?
- They're Charlie's. - Where's Charlie?
Look, don't... Don't worry about Charlie, okay?
Worry about yourself.
Did you know he had five new clients?
Business was booming till you broke his nose.
- Okay, put me in. - Put you in?
I can't put you in. They're not your clients.
He's 20 years younger than you.
I've forgotten more about fucking than that guy will ever learn.
Okay? Put me in!
Hey, guys! Guys. Put... No.
Put down the rocks and sit down on the dock!
I'm counting to three. One, two...
- What's this? - It's a wedding invitation.
Wha...? But Frances and Mike are getting married?
That's what it looks like, Tanya. That's why they sent out the invitations.
Why didn't I get one?
You don't know them as well as I do.
We-ll... No.
What are you talking about?
I'm the one responsible for their happiness.
I told Frances, "Open your heart."
Yeah, but you're also...
- You stole money from them. - I did not steal. How dare you?
You know I paid back every penny.
- What are you talking about? - Tanya.
You're a pimp, Okay?
Pimps don't get invited to weddings.
Face the facts.
Oh, yeah.
You know, it says "and guest.“
I mean, I could be your guest. Heh.
What? Come on.
I was kind of gonna invite Jessica.
God, Ray, what is wrong with you?
What? You wouldn't help.
I'm trying to get something going.
Ray. God! You're not in high school anymore!
- She's not gonna say yes. - How do you know?
Yeah okay, you know what? Fine. Go ahead, go.
Fine. You fucking take Jessica...
because I don't care. I mean, I hate weddings anyway.
They're fucking misogynistic, antiquated bullshit.
- Okay. - Guys, come on. We're leaving.
Tanya was pissed, but we had a business to run.
It was time to plant my ﬂag in the sand.
One man's injury is another man's 600 bucks.
Oh.
- Hi. - Hi.
So, what happened to Jake?
Jake's out of commission for a little while.
Oh. So you're the other guy?
No. I'm the first guy.
So we have an hour, right?
- There's no rush. - With Jake I always had to hurry.
Well, I'm not Jake.
I like to go slow.
I always thought you were handsome when Tanya brought you guys out.
It's just that, I don't know...
I thought Jake was so cute.
Babies are cute.
Puppies are cute.
I'm not cute.
Richard, Richard.
That was great.
Well, I hope I didn't disappoint, you know, with the Jake of it all.
Who?
Jason.
I should've punched him in the nose the day we met.
Charlie. Charlie, where are you? Where is Missy?
When are you coming back?
Charlie, you know, I have your children.
Okay, guys, guys. Okay, let's wind it down, okay?
Let's wind it down. Wind-down time?
We're winding down. It's wind-down time! Okay.
Oh, Jesus Christ, help me. Where the fuck is it?
I'm gonna go higher than you! - It's story time.
We're gonna have story time. It's story time.
Okay, you guys, we're gonna... I'm counting to three. One, two, three.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Okay, um, let's see.
The Velveteen Rabbit.
Okay, "There once was a velveteen rabbit...
and in the beginning, he was really splendid.
He was fat and bunchy, as a rabbit should be.
His coat was spotted brown and white...
and his ears were lined with pink sateen.
On Christmas morning, when he sat wedged in the top of the boy's stocking...
with a sprig of holly between his paws...
- ...the effect was charming." - I saw a rabbit once.
Yeah, me too. I like rabbits.
"There were other things in the stocking, nuts and oranges and a toy engine...
and chocolate almonds..."
Okay, Damester... Stentorian!
Yelling won't help. I'm not deaf.
"Stentorian“ means extremely loud or booming.
- Damon, you ready? - Hey! Hey, Jess.
Come on in. I made coffee.
- No, we gotta go. - I got coffee cake.
- Good for you. - All right.
Damester, I got time for one more. Let's do it. Let's do "simian."
Come on, Damester, "simian."
- Simian! - This whole thing's retarded.
This test was invented by the Nazis.
Okay. Okay, uh... Uh... Do good!
Do the best you can do, that's what you can.
Okay. Good. All right.
They're good kids, Jess.
Maybe not the brightest, but we did good.
What? I'm joking.
Hey, it was a joke. Come on.
I'm funny, remember? I make you laugh.
- Since when do you make me laugh? - Oh, come on.
Look.
I'm a monkey named simian.
Where are you going? I thought we were gonna drop them off together.
You snooped into my personal life, you showed up where you weren't invited...
- ...and you attacked the guy I was with. - Oh, yeah, well...
- ...you used to like it when I did that. - No.
- Sean O'Brien. Yes? - You've gotta be kidding me.
Come on. I knocked out Sean O'Brien.
- That was 20 years ago. - And you loved it.
You wanna go to a wedding with me?
- What? - It's Mike's wedding.
He's, uh, getting married.
- What do you say? - How did you know him?
- Who? - The guy I was with.
He called you Ray.
Oh, yeah, I...
- I don't remember that. - Yeah?
He said, "Hey, Ray, “ and you punched him out.
I don't know. I guess I've seen him around and maybe, uh... Um...
A friend of a friend. Why the 20 questions all of a sudden?
No, thanks. I don't want to go to the wedding.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Did you find him? - Who?
- Charlie. - No.
Where are they?
Well, the thing is they're sleeping right now.
- Can you wake them? - What?
- Wake them! - Uh...
Listen, I don't mind if you leave them here just a little longer, okay?
An hour or so. Or longer if you want...
because the thing is, I don't mind.
- Come on, boys! - Wait, wait, wait.
Your mom's here, come on. Let's go. Come on, come on.
Come on, get up. Let's go. Get your shoes on right now.
Shoes, now, come on. Come on, buddy.
Let's go. Grab the shoes and let's go. Get in the car.
Thanks.
Wait!
Missy, wait! Miss...
I want to give them this. It's a book.
Wait, Missy! Missy, I wanted to give them this.
It's... it's a book!
Charlie? What are you doing?
I'm sorry.
- But thanks for everything, okay? - Wait, what does that mean?
Stop! What does that mean? Wait, I put my business up for you!
I did a lot more than that, you motherfucker!
Stop!
- Where are you going? - You have something to say, say it.
But I got my kids in the car and I ain't no motherfucker in front of my kids.
- You used me. You used me! - Hey, hey.
- I didn't use you. - Then what do you call it'?
Hey, I'm a pimp. You're a pimp.
- We lived together and enjoyed it. - That is...
- And now ifs done. - That is such bullshit.
- Don't jive me. - Jive you?
Yeah, don't evade. Do not evade.
What, you were just gonna sneak out of here...
and leave me in the lurch?
I fucked you, Charlie. I fucked you a lot.
And you liked it.
You loved it!
Sure I did.
I like you.
But look, I gotta lay low for a while, get out of town.
I will get you your money back...
and I'll get you your ho's shoebox money too.
You took Ray's money?
You know, we do the best we can, Tanya.
And then we die.
That is all we can do.
Come on.
You're a good woman.
I'll miss you.
I don't believe you.
Two, nine, six, seven...
Two, nine, six, seven, I-X-K.
When we met, I was a little ﬂinty, I suppose...
because life hadn't turned out the way I'd expected.
The person I was supposed to grow old with wasn't there anymore.
And here you are, this second chance...
this miracle.
I look at you across the breakfast table and I see you smile...
What are you doing here?
I am the reason they're together.
Okay, we are, but...
- You weren't invited. - Yeah, exactly. How fair is that?
You love me without question or hesitation...
You know, this is not good, Tanya.
This... They're very sensitive about the way they met.
Right, exactly. You know how they met.
- Why am I the scapegoat? - All right. Shh.
- You shh. I'm trying too. - I'm trying to listen to the vows.
- Shh. Shh. - You shh.
Shh.
- I just wanted to hear their vows. - Please shut up.
Charlie's gone, Ray. He's not coming back.
I will keep you, hold you, love you...
in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad...
for richer or poorer, until we are parted by death.
Congratulations!
That was wonderful.
That was so beautiful.
That was brilliant.
Good luck, you guys.
Oh, God.
Are you gonna be all right? - Yes, I'm fine.
And I don't need your help right now.
Okay. All right. It's okay.
It's okay. All right, all right.
If this is you at a wedding, I'd hate to see you at a divorce.
All right?
All right, you did good.
Look at all these happy people.
You did good.
- Okay, I'll be right back. - Okay.
Hi.
- Hey. - Hi.
I thought you weren't coming?
- I changed my mind. - I'm glad.
- You look great. - H I. Hi.
Hi.
Sorry. Did I...?
Jess, this is, uh...
- ...Tanya. - Oh, come on.
We know each other, Ray, from the wellness center.
- Yeah, we've met. Hi. - Yes, of course.
- Can I grab you for a sec? - Sure.
- Mike, congratulations. - Oh, Jessica.
Congratulations. - Thank you.
Oh, so good to see you. You look great.
- She looks great, Ray. - Doesn't she?
- Hi. - Hey.
It was a beautiful ceremony. I feel so proud.
I'm gonna borrow him for a couple secs. Ahem.
- I'll bring him right back. - Congratulations.
What is Tanya doing here? - I don't know.
Frances isn't a fan, Ray. Not a fan.
Oh, wait. Frances!
Hey!
Jess. Jess.
Oysters.
Come on, you're gonna try one.
- Nope. - Come on, they're an aphrodisiac.
Ray, Ray, Ray. I have to leave, Ray.
Ray, I have to leave. They're asking me to leave.
- Who? - This guy.
Miss. Actually exit this way, lady.
Yes, I know.
I told you I'm going.
- What's the problem? - Well...
Frances mentioned to me this lady was not invited.
- Okay, she's with me. - What do you mean?
- No, it's fine. - Ray, don't. Don't, come on.
I'm the best man. And, uh, she's with me.
This lovely lady is my date...
and this lady is my plus one.
I see.
Excuse me. Excuse me. Here, have an oyster.
They're an aphrodisiac.
Ray! Ray Drecker!
- Coming. - Ray!
- Hey, there he is. - Hi. Hello.
Gosh, I just ﬂew in from the oyster bar...
and, boy, my arms are tired.
I guess I'm supposed to tell you what a great guy Mike is.
- He is. - He looks handsome tonight.
- How long has it been going on? - What?
The selling of my ex-husband.
I don't know what you mean.
You're a pimp, Tanya.
I run a wellness center.
You're a pimp...
and Ray works for you.
Well, yeah...
I figured out the pimp part after a while...
but Ray... That was certainly a surprise.
- Jessica... - It's okay. I'm not mad.
A year ago I'm sure he never would have imagined...
that he'd be sitting here.
He's not my husband anymore. He hasn't been my husband for a very long time.
And I beta year ago, if I said to Frances:
"You're going to marry an earth science teacher...
who collects baseball cards..." Ha, ha, ha.
Didn't know that, did you?
She probably wouldn't have believed me either.
Mike and Frances don't exactly travel in the same circles...
but one day they met. Ahem.
In a park. In a public park.
But it doesn't really matter where or how.
What matters is that they...
That they found each other.
They found happiness. This one day they met...
and they were put together.
And they're still together today.
To...
saying and doing the right things.
And to listening to what's being said...
even when it's not spoken.
To being brave enough...
to be who you are.
To being honest...
telling the truth.
To Mike and Frances.
Hear, hear.
Congratulations.
That toast... - Congratulations, buddy.
Ray, stop. Ray, stop walking.
- Not now. - God, she knows!
- I gotta tell her. - She knows. She already knows.
She just told me. She's not stupid. She figured it out.
She knows?
Ray, I'm sorry. All right?
I'm sorry. I don't know what happened between you...
or how you were or used to be or why she left you for Ronnie.
For a guy like Ronnie? I don't know.
But she did, Ray. She left.
And you let her.
And maybe you thought you wanted to give her an orgasm...
or get her back or whatever, but it's not good, Ray, for either one of you.
You're a good man, Ray.
You're better than you think.
She must fucking hate me.
No, Ray.
Yeah, she probably fucking hates me.
No, she doesn't hate you. Nobody hates you.
What am I gonna say now?
You don't have to say anything.
Just go to her.
You... it's gonna be okay.
Jess, listen...
He's so good.
- Well, he's in love. - You didn't sing at our wedding.
I could sing for you now.
I don't know the words.
We had some good years.
Yeah.
Really good.
Yeah.
Are you good at your job?
Yeah.
- I want to dance. - I wanted to tell you.
Let's...
just dance.
- Jess, I'm sorry. - Just dance with me.