Oh, my God. Mmm!
This vodka-infused lemon square is like a party in my mouth
that the cops are trying to raid.
- You gotta try it, Jo, here. - No, I'm okay with my virgin brownie,
Who's saving itself till marriage.
Oh, my God. That guy over there looks like Trent Pierce.
That big casting director guy?
Yeah, the one I auditioned for.
As my people say, time to schmooze.
- Hi, Trent. - Hello.
I'd like two scotch scones and a rum cupcake.
No, I'm not a waitress. I'm an actress.
Oh, boy.
Here's my business card. Send me a headshot.
Don't call us. We'll call you.
Actually, you already have my headshot.
I already auditioned for you.
Don't you remember me?
- I got nothing. - This is impossible.
Look, I'm sure whatever happened
was life-changing for you,
but I see 4,000 actors a week, so if you're not on a stage or screen,
there's no reason to remember you.
I was on screen. I did a mattress commercial,
and I also did an episode of "Due Process."
Really? Who'd you play?
Dead woman's foot.
Yeah, I got a great review
on a very weird website.
I've already forgotten the first half of this conversation.
Can you or can you not take my order?
Listen, here, it is very difficult out there, all right?
And you can't get a job unless someone gives you a break,
and you can't get a break unless someone gives you a job.
Look, if you can't get work, make work.
Set up a showcase. Do an open mic night. Leave me alone.
All these are excellent suggestions.
Okay, so what you're saying is I should do, like,
a one-woman show.
Or maybe you could do a group showcase so you could dilute this
with some other people.
Okay, so the brownie lied about being a virgin.
It is full of bourbon.
An apparently now so am I.
I remember you. You were in my office once.
Physics student, white shirt, you had a book.
You have an incredible memory.
No, he does not. How can he remember her and not me?
How could anyone forget that crazy hair?
How can anyone forget me straddling them and forcing fried chicken
and gravy and biscuits into their mouth?
That's happened to me twice this week.
Sync yescool | Corrections Alice www.addic7ed.com
How about this theater for your showcase? it has a stage,
and you can rent it by the night.
It also has a mirror on the ceiling and a drain on the floor.
Not feeling good about that one.
Those financial experts can keep their charts and graphs.
You show me a party swag bag,
and I'll tell you how the economy is doing. Trust me,
we are hurting.
So what's in there, like a coffee mug or pencils?
Stickers?
Please.
The day it gets that bad, I'll be headed
for the secret moon colony for rich people.
Oops. You didn't hear that.
What's wrong with this gold watch?
Why do I need a watch? Nothing happens until I get there.
Take all of it.
Aunt Honey, you don't want this
free bed and breakfast stay in Vermont?
I never go anyplace where I'm outnumbered by hippies.
Apparently, we can get a free Brazilian blast,
which sounds like either a fruity drink
or a rocket ship.
I'm happy with either one, so...
No, Jo, a Brazilian blast is two-hour salon treatment
that keeps your hair silky straight.
Who would want that?
Who would want a South American rocket ship?
South American astronauts.
I'll give you that.
I don't understand why people obsess about their hair.
The time that I save not dealing with it
is time I spend on more important things,
like these equations that won my team the Physics Bowl.
Okay, that's it. You're doing this.
Why don't you think of it like a science experiment, right?
You'll be able to be known like not being the crazy-haired girl.
besides, you might even like it.
Fine. I'll do it for science.
But for the record, I don´t ever wanna be known for this.
I wanna be known for these.
How was your day, dear?
It was awful.
I don't want you to take this the wrong way.
I just came down here because I was out of Sherry.
I wasn't looking to hear about your little traveling pants problems.
Oh, all right. Tell auntie.
So my friends and I are putting together this showcase
to impress this really, really big casting director,
and so I'm gonna be singing Aretha Franklin's "Respect."
It's gonna be amazing. Don't even worry about that.
I was looking for theaters, but everything is so expensive.
The cheapest one I found was $2,500.
Well, Georgia, you're gonna have to get up off this couch
and start looking.
I did. All over town.
I mean lift up the cushions.
There's usually twice that amount just lying around in here.
Oh, I'm exhausted.
I'll just write you a check.
No, Aunt Honey, I can't keep getting favors from you.
I have to do this on my own.
No, you'll be doing me a favor. I need a tax write-off.
If I invest in your little showcase,
it can be my "Spider-man", the Musical.
Well, in that case,
thank you, thank you, thank you.
You're welcome, welcome, welcome.
Aunt Honey, do you own a jet ski?
Not anymore. I threw it out when I couldn't find the key.
Oh, my God!
Do I know you, you perfect-haired stranger?
You look so beautiful.
No, no, no, don't mess up the do.
No, it took eight hours, four gay men, two assistants
and they still had to sedate me.
That's how I do all my hair appointments.
Okay, check it out.
I can do this.
I know. And then I can do this.
And then I can do this.
Shake it, shake it.
It makes me dizzy, but I could do that.
Well, Jo, you do look fabulous.
I may even stop telling my friends you're blind.
+
Here we are!
I know it doesn't look like much.
I just feel like a lot of magic has been made here.
And a lot of drugs.
I don't think the acoustics are very good in here.
Brooke, I thought you weren't singing in the show.
How else will I show everyone that I'm a triple threat?
You pick three things you're good at.
I think my naked monologue is going to be awesome in here.
Oh! What play is it from?
It has to be from a play?
Aw, man, I was just going to take my clothes off and talk.
Yoo-hoo. Sorry I'm late.
Who knew Brooklyn was not in Manhattan?
Everyone, I would like to introduce you to our investor, my Aunt Honey.
This is just...
The most, um...
Well, if you kids like it.
We know it's a little rough, but don't worry. We'll have it picked up in no time.
You do what you want. I'm just a silent partner.
I'm just here to make
all of you fabulous people's dreams come true.
- Do you wanna take a seat? - No, lord, no.
Okay, so we only have an hour for rehearsal. Let's get started.
There was an apple tree by my house.
- Kevin, keep your shirt on! - Are you sure?
Let the young man express himself.
All right, listen up, people.
We're gonna go over the list for the show.
First, we're gonna have some dancers.
And then we're gonna go into a few musical numbers.
I'm gonna be singing Aretha Franklin's "Respect."
So we're definitely gonna have to wait about 10 to 15 minutes
so that applause can just like die down.
And then we're going to close with the monologues.
Material won't matter if no one can see you.
Is that all the light?
Oh, good. Oh, sorry.
Silent partner, I'll just stand over in this corner,
this dark dark corner.
You're welcome to borrow my lighting guy.
You have a lighting guy?
I always keep one on retainer.
You never know when you may need to get lit.
Oh! Thank you, Trevor.
Aunt Honey is out of control.
Do you know that yesterday she brought in her own stunt guy?
She has a stunt guy?
Yeah, she says that you never know when you need
to fake your own death.
Do you think I'd look good with highlights?
And if so, what are highlights?
Jo, focus, all right?
I have a situation. She's even hijacked the programs.
Why is your showcase called "A bit o' Honey"?
Exactly.
Like, I have a silent partner who just wants
to talk about everything.
Sorry to interrupt, ladies.
I saw you from over there. I wanted to give you my phone number.
That's cute, sweetie. I'm busy. Sorry.
It's for her.
Whoa. Okay.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa!
What is going on in this world?
I don't know, but I wanna suck that up with a biscuit.
What did you just say?
I think it's the hair.
The chemicals must have seeped into my brain.
And I like it.
Trent is over there. I gotta go.
Hi, Trent. I'd like to give you this.
Don't need a menu. I'll have two scotch scones and a rum cupcake.
Are you serious? It's Georgia.
I saw you here last week.
I re-reintroduced myself.
I got nothing.
We had a whole conversation.
I'm kidding. Actors-- so sensitive.
Well, per your suggestion,
I have a showcase, and I would like for you to attend.
So you took my advice.
That's annoying.
I'm gonna be annoying if you don't show up to that thing.
Trust me, she can be pretty annoying.
Hey, Trent Pierce.
How would you like to be in a shampoo commercial?
I got two numbers today. What?
98, 99...
100.
1, 2...
Come in.
Excuse me, ma'am. We're looking for Jo Pye.
I'm right here.
Wow! Wow!
You look great.
Not that you don't normally.
But you don't.
I just got my hair straightened.
That's why we had to study up here,
'cause I couldn't risk going out in all that humidity.
And that's also why I didn't get in
to do my lab work today.
I did it. Would you like to copy off of mine?
- I can do the copying for you. - I can make you an omelet.
Sure.
I mean if it's no problem.
Okay, you guys, I'm gonna need you to be my audience.
I have a very big song that I have to sing tonight in the show.
And I need to see where all the cheering's gonna be.
If neither of you is here, I have had this dream before.
I'm not in your dreams?
You're in mine.
- Jo. - Give it up for Georgia Chamberlain.
♪ What you want, baby, I've got it. ♪
♪ What you need, you know I got it. ♪
What?
You sound delightful.
Thank you. Let me finish.
It's almost there.
It just sounded like you were bringing it more from up here
than from down here.
With all due respect, Aunt Honey,
I think I know where to bring it from.
You know what? I think I can show you better than I can tell you.
♪ I'm about to give you ♪
♪ all my money. ♪
♪ And all I want ♪
♪ in return, honey. ♪
♪ Is to give me my pride ♪
Pause. ♪ when you get home. ♪
It's subtle,
but can you hear the difference?
♪ Your kisses ♪
♪ sweeter than honey. ♪
♪ Guess what? ♪
♪ So is my money. ♪
♪ And all I want you to do for me ♪
♪ is to give it to me when you get home. ♪
♪ R-E-S-P-E-C-T ♪
♪ Find out what it means to me ♪
♪ R-E-S-P-E-C-T ♪
♪ Take care, TCB ♪
♪ Sock it to me, sock it to me... ♪
♪ Respect, you know I want it ♪
♪ Little respect ♪
♪ Come on, gimme some-- ♪
What's going on?
I was just trying to make the song better.
The song was fine. The show was fine.
All we needed was the money to get the theater,
but you just had to come in and take over.
You took over.
The lights needed to be brighter.
The monologues needed to be shorter and Kevin needed to be nakeder.
Well, Kevin can't act. He should be nakeder.
You are really messing with my head
and now you got me thinking that I can't sing.
Now that's silly.
That's silly, but that's how I feel.
Well, maybe we should just
take it from the top.
- No. - No?
We're not taking it anywhere.
Maybe I can show you rather than tell you.
♪ Sock it to me, sock it to me ♪
♪ sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it-- ♪
Oh, zip it, you pips!
+
Don't worry. I'm not gonna take you out in that.
Shh.
You're gonna miss your best friend's show for your hair?
My friendship will last.
This hair won't.
It has changed my life. I mean this morning
when I went to go pay for my coffee,
they just gave it to me for free, and you know what they said,
"nice hair." And then,
when I got to the subway just as it was pulling out,
it stopped, backed up
and let me on.
Who knew that they could go backwards like that?
Not me.
I haven't taken the subway since the Summer of Sam.
I dated Samuel L. Jackson.
But still, someone should be down at that theater to support her.
You mean like her aunt
and primary investor.
You heard her. She doesn't want me down there.
Apparently,
I just take over everything.
I do not take over everything.
I make everything better by taking it-- oh, God, I took it over.
You tend to do that.
Georgia should have known.
If you bring me in, you're gonna get an Aunt Honey production.
Okay, well, most of your life is an Aunt Honey production.
I think that she just wanted this one to be hers.
Then it should have been.
What have I done?
The girl sung the hell out of that song,
and I made her doubt herself.
She'd probably like to hear that from you.
You're right.
I'll go down to that theater and tell her what a wonderful singer she is.
Also, I have some ideas about how she could wear her hair.
And I could get my makeup guy to just--
Oh, God, I'm doing it again.
I can't control myself.
Oh, my God. You're drinking water.
Yes, it's called bottoming out.
Oh, my God. That was horrible.
No, no, we sounded great. Trust me. I have perfect pitch.
Triple threat. Singer, dancer, tap dancer.
No, that's only like two threats.
Forget her. What is wrong with me?
Am I singing from here? Am I singing from here?
I don't even know if I can sing anymore.
Georgia, am I supposed to go out first? - Oh, oh!
What do you want?
Whatever you wanna do. What? What?
- What's going on? - I don't know.
I'm kind of regretting inviting my grandparents.
Okay, well, you can do whatever you like.
I got my own problems right now.
- Are you nervous? - No, no, not as--
as nervous as you seem to be.
Georgia-- wow, your friends are so different than mine.
Hello.
- Jo, you're here. - Don't worry about it.
Friendship is much more important than perfect hair.
How are you? How's the show going?
There's an elderly couple outside that look very disappointed.
Nan-nan and pop-pop.
Jo, I don't think I can go onstage. I can't sing.
Yes, you can. I believe in you
more than I believe in the incredible life I was having with straight hair.
Okay, maybe I'm not totally over it,
but you know who else believes in you? Aunt Honey.
But she said that--
I know what she said, but I'm gonna tell you what she meant.
And if that doesn't get you out on the stage singing,
then some really good hair died for nothing.
Hi, everybody.
I've really been looking forward to singing for you all,
but now that I'm here,
it just doesn't feel right
because there's someone who's supposed to be here that isn't.
She's a woman who helped put all this together,
and she's always believed in my dreams
and someone I know who just wanted the best for me.
ey: Then get on with it.
- Aunt Honey? - People wanna hear you sing,
not give a monologue.
I just can't believe you came.
I wouldn't miss this for the world.
That's why I stayed out of the way. I sat in the back.
I don't know how you people do it. Move over, honey, move.
Come on, come, let's go, let's go.
Normally, I'd be in the front.
But this is your night.
Apology accepted.
Well, I'm not comfortable making apologies.
I don't know if you knew that.
I know, and I'm sorry, too.
Well, what now? We gonna hug or are you gonna sing?
I'd like to give you a hug a little bit later.
- But yes, I'd like to sing. - Well, then hit it.
Three, four...
♪ What you want, baby, I've got it ♪
♪ hey, what you need ♪
♪ you know I've got it ♪
♪ hey, all I'm asking ♪
♪ is for a little respect when you come home ♪
♪ hey, baby. ♪
+
Georgia Chamberlain?
Hi, I'd like two scotch scones and a rum cupcake.
You got me back.
Nice to know that you remember me again.
I do, and after watching you perform last night,
I promise I will never forget you.
Thank you. You probably won't forget Kevin, either, right?
Who?
The naked guy who did the monologue from "Our Town"
and his Nana came up on stage and gave him a blanket.
You'd think I'd remember that, and yet...
You lead a very interesting life, don't you?
You have no idea.
- I'll be in touch. - Okay.
- Hey, Georgia. - Hey, Jo.
Can we not move around a lot today?
What's going on, sweetheart?
I went to get my hair straightened again.
Yeah, I thought you said you were done with that.
I was, but then the dog barked at me
and then I had to pay for my own coffee,
and the subway just closed in my face.
Why doesn't it look like anything happened to it?
Apparently, when you walk into a salon,
and you say that you want a Brazilian,
you have to be very very very specific.
Sync yescool | Corrections Alice www.addic7ed.com