Becky?
We ain't supposed to talk to you.
What the hell is going on?
Is someone licking my head?
It's just me, Mr. Jason.
You gotta nasty gash, so...
Timbo?
Timbo...
Timbo... fuck, man!
It's not that I don't appreciate all the licking 'cause I do.
But I'm more of a band-aid kinda guy.
We ain't got no band-aids.
Who put you up to this, huh?
'Cause I know this ain't coming from you.
We can't, Mr. Jason.
I've been good to you. Haven't I?
Sure, at first I was doing it on account of Crystal, and not...
not 'cause I wanted to. But then I came to love each and every one of you.
And I know you love me, too.
You wouldn't be licking my head if you didn't.
Am I right?
Yeah.
Come over here and loosen one knot. One knot.
I'll take care of the rest.
C'mon.
Why the fuck am I doing this?
'Cause you're a good boy and it's the right thing to do.
Why didn't you tell me he was up?
- Felton? - Get out!
Where the hell's Crystal?
How sweet of you to be worrying about my woman.
If I was you, though I'd be worrying about myself.
Fuck you!
- Really? Fuck me? - Yeah.
Fuck me? Cause I'll bet you my shotgun to your no-arms-and-legs,
you are the one who is going to get fucked here!
Stay away from me!
This is no way to treat your new landlord.
I am not yours and I want you out of my house, now!
Funny about ownership, isn't it?
A little piece of paper and the only power that you had over me is gone.
You bought my house. The house does not come with me inside it.
- Then I seriously overpaid. - That's your problem.
Your blood tastes like freedom, Sookie.
Like sunshine in a pretty, blonde bottle.
They may not know it yet, that's what vampires smell
when they smell you.
- Is that a threat? - Absolutely not.
But others will find out.
And when they do...
you'll need protection.
I can provide that for you.
I'm willing to take my chances.
I bought this house because I care about you.
If all I wanted was to taste your blood again,
I could do it right now and there wouldn't be a thing you could do to stop me.
But instead I am asking you...
to be mine.
I could never be with you the way I was with Bill.
The first time Bill declared you his... how did that make you feel?
Angry.
But safe?
You'll come around.
- You're not listening to a word I'm saying... - I know you.
There are two Sookie Stackhouses.
One who still clings to the idea that she is merely human.
And another who is coming to grips with the fact that you are better than that.
And what do you think will happen when I do come to grips with it?
Do you think my legs are just going to magically open for you?
Well, that was saucy.
It must have been fairy Sookie talking.
I like when she comes out.
- And I have already sorry I said it. - Don't be.
The more you let her speak for you, the more likely you are to go on living.
And you want to live, don't you?
Well, then...
I hope to hear from you girls, soon.
I'll see to it that gets repaired.
So they cast a spell on the dead bird and it flew.
For a couple of seconds, at most.
But it was spectacular.
Your work for me in that circle is done. It's not safe for you there.
What are you going to do to them?
What I have already told you will have to suffice.
Any more and I'll just have to glamour it out of you.
Well, we wouldn't want that, would we?
No, we wouldn't.
Shall I send out the procurer for you?
No.
I'm giving him the night off.
Protesters chanting: Steve Newlin was right, you devils of the night!
What the hell?
Welcome to vampire night life - post Russell Edgington.
Hey, fangbanger!
You better not be talking to me.
What if I was, fangbanger?
- Go to Hell! - You will pay!
See that woman right there? Not that devil, that woman!
She's got fangs. And you can bet your ass we're doing it all the time...
- Hoyt, stop. - because we're in love!
And there's not a damn thing wrong with being in love.
How can you do this and still call yourself a Christian?
I am a Christian, God damn it.
And I am more of a Christian than you because I've got love in my heart.
- And you got nothing but hate. - You see my buddy over there?
- pointing his phone at us? - I'm rolling video.
In 720p, so I'm not going to miss a thing you and your vamp whore do.
Wanna call me that again?
You two lovebirds go home, okay?
Let these good people practice their constitutional right...
to be fucking idiots.
Protester: I may be a fucking idiot but at least I ain't dead.
What the fuck...
Hoyt!
I know. I know. It's hard for me, too.
Technology has taken all of the fun of being a vampire.
- I was watching you, you know. - Yeah, from behind.
So that's how it is, huh?
I didn't realize this was a competition.
Next time you'll know.
The truth is I don't mind so much about bringing up the back.
It's a magical thing - watching you run.
- Are you coming on to me? - Maybe I am.
Maybe I'm not.
But you know one thing, though.
I want to know more about you.
There isn't much to know.
Somehow I doubt that.
People don't become as beautiful as you are without having one hell of a story to tell.
Okay, that was a good line.
- Did you like it? - Yeah.
I used it on two other women before you.
- Really? And how did it go with them? - It's one for two.
Seriously, you can talk to me.
With me and Emory and... Suzanne, we share our deepest and darkest.
Nothing bad has come of it.
Luna...
Hey!
That's one way to end a conversation.
Freeze! You are surrounded.
What is it?
Name and purpose for your visit.
To see Bill.
No one sees the king unless they're on the manifest.
The king? King Bill?
Are you Sookie Stackhouse?
- Yeah. - Affirmative.
- The king says let her pass. - Stand down.
Yeah y'all, stand down.
Bill?
Your snipers didn't mention you had company.
Sookie. This is Katerina.
Katerina is part of my security.
Nice to meet you.
I've lived my entire life knowing that magic was all around me.
But when I saw that little bird start to flap her wings...
It was so fucking cool.
You don't think that maybe...
What?
[We're] stepping in some place we don't belong...
Black magic?
Yeah.
I don't believe in that.
Don't tell me you don't think that evil witches exist.
Of course I do.
But...
Don't blame the magic for how it is used.
Light or dark... it's all the practitioner.
If your soul is dark, you'll practice black magic.
But if your soul is light, Like I know yours is...
you got nothing to worry about.
I've never been accused of being overly light before.
Well,
how many other people...
have you let see behind your mask before?
Only you, bitch.
Just you, bitch. Just you.
I did not want to come here tonight...
but I'm scared, and I don't want to be his.
- I can not force him to give up his property. - Why not?
You're his king now, Doesn't that make you his boss?
Eric has friends in high places.
Higher than you? Who?
That's all I can tell you.
I won't make any promises, but...
Maybe I can come up with some kind of workaround.
Anything you can do, I'd appreciate.
But if I can, it's going to take time.
So I urge you...
to seek shelter in another human's home.
What good would that do if he can just buy that too.
- Good night Sookie. - Good night...
Your Excellency.
How did you become king, anyway?
Never mind...
if there's one thing I learned from us being together
every time I learned something new about you...
I wound up wishing I didn't know it.
LONDON, 1982
- Something you want, mate? - I'll have another one, actually.
I haven't seen you around these parts, have I?
No, the truth is I got ten years sober. Well, I did have.
Thank you Mrs. Thatcher.
Fucking Thatcher! That cunt could drive the Pope to drink.
- You got a name? - Callum.
You'll have one with me, Callum?
I don't see why not.
Easy now. Easy, easy.
Just look me in the eye and this will all be over soon.
Come on, just look into my eye.
Callum, I can make this all go away for you, Callum.
Callum.
There you go.
None of this happened tonight, do you understand?
Yes.
You will feel weak...
for four or five days...
so I recommend an iron supplement.
And vitamin B twice daily.
Do you understand?
Excellent.
Now...
Off you go.
Well, then...
- Fight on! - Fight on, mate!
You don't kill them.
My name is Nan Flanagan.
- Bill Compton. - I know who you are.
I've been watching you for weeks.
Why is it you don't kill your prey?
Well, they might be dinner, but they don't deserve to die.
Most vampires disagree with you.
I can't speak for them.
What if you could?
What if I could introduce you to a powerful group of vampires, who feel exactly like you do?
Who want to emerge from the shadows of society and maybe even fit into it, one day.
Mainstreaming?
- It's a dream. - Not necessarily.
Right now, on three different continents,
the most brilliant scientific minds in our community...
including Louis Pasteur, by the way,
- are working on synthesizing... - Pasteur is a vampire?
You didn't hear it from me...
but yes.
And he is close, Mr. Compton, to synthesizing human blood.
Real human blood made in the lab that we can survive on.
Consider what this will mean.
Still, the monarchs will crush you before you have a chance...
Which is why we need you.
And others like you to infiltrate the monarchies
and plant the seeds of discord from within.
Looking for a few good vampire spies, are you?
That's exactly what we're looking for.
So, are you in?
Or are you out?
Good morning.
Sam, can I talk to you for a second?
Talk.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry,
I realized that I made a lot of people worry being gone so long,
and if I were you, I'd be mad as hell at me, too.
but. .
One day, when it's safe for me, I'll tell you what I was doing really doing
and you'll see that I didn't have a choice.
I look forward to that.
I really, really do.
- Sorry, we're late. - We couldn't find a babysitter.
Oh, my God.
Is that him? Mikey, you're so big already.
Say hello to Aunt Sookie.
You guys, he's beautiful.
You think?
Duh. Let me take a look at you? Who do you look like?
His mama, dead ringer.
I don't know, Terry, I think he's got your bone structure.
- I'll tell you what he is... - What?
What is he? Can you hear him?
He's a baby, they don't think in words.
But I can tell you one thing; he is an old soul.
- No, don't say that. - Arlene...
He's not an old soul.
He's new. He's brand-fucking new.
- I'm sorry, what did I say? - And don't try
to listen in on me, either. Because my thoughts are pure.
I love that baby.
I love that baby boy, with all my heart.
Sorry.
Sleep has been hard to come by, so...
- Hello Anybody here? - Hey, Timbo.
If he sees me, they're gonna put me away.
If he sees the pretty boy, he's gonna put us all away.
- What am I supposed to do about it? - Get rid of him. I don't care how.
Hello?
- Can I help you, officer? - Sheriff.
Ain't there any grown ups I can talk to?
Crystal?
Hey, are you all right?
- Felton got me all hooked on V. - Fucker!
Honey, I'm not really mood right now...
Oh baby, I've missed you so much.
And I got a way to be together forever.
But if the cops hear you, you're going to ruin everything.
I have reason to believe y'all are dealing V again.
Why do you think we have V?
Because last year, me and my boys in the DEA
we were about to seize a fuckload of it, and one of you took off with it.
- And I have it on good authority... - Who's good authority?
It don't fucking matter, boy. Read the fucking warrant.
Damn it, can't you read, Jethro?
Shut the fuck up.
- What was that? - It was just a...
couple of hound dogs fighting over a bone.
Luther, come here.
I said "come here".
Go give this to that cop.
- Should I say it's from you? - No, you fucking dumbass.
Give it to him and walk away.
What's this?
- What the fuck, Uncle Luther? - It's ok.
Luther...
thank you...
for coming forward with this, uh, evidence, which I'll now take with me...
again...
as evidence.
Good, you did real good, baby.
- Ain't you supposed to be in school? - I am between classes.
If I had a teacher like you, I might have made it past the ninth grade.
And had I known that this chair was so difficult to seduce you from,
- I would have waited up, standing. - Don't worry, you're doing just fine.
So you're here to seduce me then, huh?
I felt bad about last night.
- I am no good at opening up. - No, look...
- I shouldn't have pried. - There are things that...
I'm not very proud of, things that...
- I never told anyone. - Yeah, I got a few of those, myself.
I really want to let you in.
I really do.
And I'm going to try.
I promise.
Well, that makes me happy.
- But you could have just called. - I know, but...
then I couldn't have been able to do this.
So are you coming out, tonight?
That ain't even a question.
Good.
Then my work here is done.
Just out of curiosity...
if I'd said I wasn't sure, where was this going to go?
Why...
- Are you going to change before heading back to the classroom? - Are you kidding me?
I teach in turtlenecks, even in the summer.
The children of today are disgusted.
I'm not sure it's only these days
but I am glad you take certain precautions.
See you tonight.
Who is your friend?
- Sure smells pretty. - Looks pretty, too.
Who my friend is, is none of your business, Tommy.
If you want a friend to smell, smell your own.
So, I was thinking, after work,
We could rent a video and kill off that bottle of Frangelico.
Now they don't call them videos any more, but... What are they call them now? Blu-rays...
Mother fuck face!
- Oh my God, your eye. - Terry!
It was him.
- He did this to me. - Arlene.
Look at him looking at me laughing. He ain't right, that boy.
Can you hear me? You ain't right!
You're rotten to the core, just like your daddy was!
I am your Daddy.
And I ain't rotten and neither are you.
You hear me?
Your momma just gets a little crazy, sometimes.
Which means that we got to love her that much harder.
Sookie! Oh my God, are you okay?
Tara.
Sook, I'm so sorry.
It's not your fault, I guess I'm not so good at getting snuck up on.
- How did you... - Lafayette.
He texted me and said you was home.
I parked at the back 'cause I wanted to surprise you.
- You did. - Yeah, I guess I did.
- I thought you were dead. - Everybody did.
- Where have you been? - New Orleans.
And where have you been?
On business for Bill.
- We are not back together, or anything. - I didn't judge you.
You look amazing! New Orleans has been good for you, huh?
- Thanks. - C'mon inside and tell me all about it.
What the hell!
Out with the old...
Let me see that.
... In with the new. You like?
No, actually I don't like, actually.
That thing you said about you and Bill not being together.
Are you sure that he knows that?
- It's from Eric. - Sookie, you ain't with him now?
No, never! That son-of-a-bitch bought my house, that's all.
He bought your house?
Psychopathic frat boy.
I feel terrible. This can't be the homecoming you were expecting.
It's Bon Temps, Sook. Ain't like I expected a red fucking carpet.
And besides, there's ice cream.
By now it should be good and melted, too. I'm going to get blankets, I'll meet you in the living room.
Hmmm. This I'll keep.
Mother fucker!
What? What is it?
He built himself a cubby.
He built himself a cubby in my house.
Do you need to go?
Hey, honey.
Are you all right?
Yeah.
I'm just stupid, that's all.
- Let me the your eye. - No, it's fine.
Hoyt.
My God.
Can I get you anything?
Well, I melted all the fruit and vegetables that we had in the place...
At this point, I pretty much got to tough it out.
No you don't.
Jessica, no. No.
Why not?
When you live with a vampire, there must be something in it for you.
No, there's plenty in it for me.
Besides I don't need that shit.
"That shit?"
- That shit is my blood! - It was not what...
- You know what I'm saying. - No, I have no idea.
I just don't want to drink your blood every time I stub my toe.
I've seen people get messed up off of too much vampire blood.
Where are your keys?
- Jessica, don't go running off... - I'm going to the drugstore.
If you don't take my blood you must at least take Advil.
I don't want any Advil.
I'm going.
There you go.
Shreveport 22 miles BON TEMPS Town Center
Shit.
- Look, this is my fuckin' cousin. - Surprise!
Tara!
I got your text message, so I came to see Sook, but she had to bail.
Hey, Jesus.
Tara. How are you?
- I've been good! - You look good!
That's the calming effect of an Asian pussy at work.
- Fuck you! - No, hooker, you know I'm right.
Come on, we're late. We got to go.
I just got here! Where the hell are you going?
We got a thing...
A gay thing?
A Wiccan thing.
Seriously?
You're a Wiccan, now?
Hooker, are you going to come or what.
I guess so.
- Thank you for coming. - Of course.
I understand that you bought Sookie's house.
Any chance I can convince you to resell it back to her?
No.
- To me, then? - No.
All right. Then we're good.
There a new coven in town.
Oh, no, witches!
Based out of a Wicca shop not far from here.
Called "Moon Goddess Emporium".
- I'll put Pam on it. - You will do it, yourself.
They are necromancers, Eric.
They brought a bird back from the dead.
- Are you certain of this? - I had someone on the inside.
I hope I do not have to impress upon you the implications of this.
- You do not. - If they can control the dead,
- They can control us. - I remember the Inquisition.
- I was there back then. - Excellent.
Now will you deal with this yourself or is it still beneath you?
- Has the AVL signed off on this? - I'm the king of Louisiana!
I don't have to ask anyone for permission.
I'll go tonight.
My King.
Thank you, Sheriff.
You dare challenge me?
I'm over twice your age'.
Yes...
but I have nothing left to lose.
I brought backup.
You brought humans into our affairs?
No, you did when you sent me after Sookie.
On my command.
There bullets are wooden?
With a silver core.
Nothing but the best for my queen.
You fucking traitor!
Fire!
Thank you, team.
And thank you.
I did what any other member of the
American Vampire League wouldn't do.
But you did.
For you, this was personal, wasn't it?
- You mean Sookie? - What is so special about that girl?
Uh, nothing, as it turned out.
I was dispatched by Sophie-Anne because hhe was obsessed with her, but...
there was nothing there.
I swear it on the office I'm going to ascend to.
You better not be lying to me.
She did.
Look what happened to her.
I understand.
All right.
Good. Then by the power vested in me...
by the one true Vampire Authority, whose wisdom and justice...
we hold sacred, I hereby pronounce you...
King William Compton of Louisiana.
I pledge my fealty to the Authority for as long as I walk this earth.
And I swear it upon the blood.
Hear, hear.
Now go clean yourself up.
You're covered in queen.
Every memory of everyone I have ever loved is in that house!
If there is anything you can do to convince him to...
- leave me alone... - Did I miss something?
Are we girls now?
Did we join a book club and read some queer chick-lit memoirs,
so now we are bounded together by estrogen, or sisterhood, or...
some other feminist drivel?
- I don't do book clubs! - Neither do I.
Eric is my maker, Sookie.
Did you really think I would side with you on this?
Are you expecting him back, tonight?
He usually checks in to count receipts before he goes to ground.
Then I'll wait for him here if it's all right with you.
Of course.
While you waiting, though...
you should really reconsider his offer.
Why?
So he can keep me?
Use me, drink from me...
and maybe lose control and drain me altogether?
It beats someone else doing it.
With what you are, Fairy Princess...
You need to be somebody's. Or you won't be... at all.
Eric is handsome. He's rich. In his own way, he really cares about you.
He really does.
Thanks for the advice.
But I will never be Eric Northman's puppet.
A shame for you, then. He pulls good string.
Steve Newlin was right, you devils of the night!
Steve Newlin was right...
Hi.
What we accomplished...
last night was remarkable.
And Marnie appreciates each and every one of us for...
being a part of it.
If Marnie is so appreciative, how come Marnie don't talk?
Quiet bitch, you a guest.
Enough with the back slapping. What are we going to bring back next?
A person.
Excuse me?
A person.
I'm sorry, but what the fuck?
We're going to raise a human body.
- And this is where you lose me. - Holy shit, Marnie!
- Not a person... - I don't see what the big deal is...
- Are you serious? - I'm game.
- Well, I'll be out front. - I hear you, bitch.
What is the most fucked up thing I ever shifted into?
- Yeah c'mon... - Out with it.
Okay. I would have to go with...
- I was a hen on a egg farm. - What?
What did you do that for, some kind of animal rights thing?
Yes! To expose their inhumane practices!
The whole world aren't rich, you know.
Not everyone can afford those organic, free range eggs you eat.
Congratulations, Emmery. You are so disenfranchised!
"I eat the eggs of the poor people".
I shifted into my mother.
What?
That's fucked up.
My mother...
and died giving birth to me.
So I was raised by my father and my grandparents in the Navajo Reservation.
- Are you Indian? - I thought you were a Mexican!
I am, on my mother's side. But my father's side is Navajo.
Old school, Navajo.
My bedtime stories were not written by Dr. Seuss.
I fell asleep listening the legend of the Skinwalkers.
The Skinwalkers?
According to the Navajo, the Skinwalkers were...
horrible, evil witches...
whose powers allowed them to transform into any animal on earth.
But how is that different from a being a plain old shape-shifter?
Any animal on earth. Including other people.
But they were said to gain that power in one way, only.
They had to kill another shifter.
Another member of their own family.
Jesus... that's a little rough.
Yeah, especially if your mother died giving birth to you.
- Fuck. - What was it like?
Being somebody else.
It was crazy...
and scary at first.
But later, it was like...
I get to be my mom.
I mean... I never got to meet her, and suddenly I could be her.
Shifter.
- Where are you going? - Need any help?
No, I got it.
Shit!
Hey baby, how's it going?
Everyone here is completely insane.
Well, you already knew that.
Say good-bye to your grandmother and come on home, ok?
I miss you too, baby.
Where the fuck are you going to get a dead body?
Excuse me.
Y'all looking for a dead body?
Oh, shit!
Oh, Lafayette!
I didn't know you were a witch.
You're so fucking beautiful. What's your name again?
Does it matter?
- Jessica? - Ahh... Ohhh...
Sookie?
Can I talk to you a second?
What?
- What are you doing here? - What are you doing here?
Waiting to talk to Eric. I had to pee, but...
I'm bleeding in here...
- Does Hoyt know you're doing this? - Don't!
- Sweetie, I'm just trying to help. - I don't want your help!
You don't have a leg to stand on, preaching to me how to be a good girlfriend.
- Not after the way you treated Bill. - OK, you don't know everything there is to know...
Do you have any idea how brokenhearted he was? And still is?
Stop acting like my stepmom. I hated it before and I like even less, now.
- I'm not.... - Just go away!
This ain't got nothing to do with you.
I can eat who I want.
Hold the fuck still.
Steve Newlin was right, you devils of the night!
Oh, shut up and invent a new chant already!
What happened to your limp?
Must be the adrenaline of the moment, shit.
You've been lying to me! The leg is fine.
Yeah, well...
- Fuck you! Cause you've been lying to me, too. - How have I been lying to you?
Your new girlfriend and them people you've been hanging out with.
They are all shapeshifters! That ain't no anger management.
Well, it is for me, anyhow!
It's a way to get shit off my chest before I do crazy things, like shoot people!
Did you have any idea how much I wish I'd never done that?
Probably not as much as me.
You got to be kidding me...
This worked out great for you.
You're the one who got shot!
- Yeah, I'm the one who got shot - All your sins are washed away!
Living high on the hog at Maxine's house.
And I am the stupid son of a bitch who shot his own brother.
That doesn't change the fact you lied to me.
And you lied to me. Big surprise!
The Mickens brothers are a bunch of liars.
Big surprise!
What did you follow me out here for, Tommy?
I don't know... I guess I just wanted...
us to be brothers.
I'm serious, Sam. Don't laugh at me.
Well, that's going to be a problem.
You don't trust me, and I sure as hell don't trust you.
Then...
where do we start?
We chip away at it.
We try... to not trust each other a little less every day.
- Sounds good. - Sam!
- Are you okay? Okay Sam? - Need help?
I guess I should take off, before they find me.
I appreciate it.
I'm told your leader's name is Marnie.
Really? Who told you that?
Let's just say...
a little bird did.
So...
Which one of you...
lovely ladies is Marnie?
I am. I am Marnie.
Excellent. Thank you for coming forward.
Here's the deal, Marnie.
This is the last time that your coven convenes.
And before you even think about agreeing
and then meeting behind my back, know this...
There is no "behind my back".
I am everywhere.
What's in it for me?
I said it was a deal, not a negotiation.
Lafayette? Do I negotiate?
I'd listen to him, Marnie. He tends to get his way.
What the fuck, now?
Join hands.
Why don't you just take the deal?
Damn, how I hate this place!
Elements of the night, elements of the dead, we call upon you. We summon you.
Look, what have we here.
Oh, shit.
Elements of the night, elements of the dead, we call upon you. We summon you.
I am...[continues in ancient language]
Holy shit!
What happened?
Is he's gone?
It's your lucky night, you get us both!
Take that shit out of his mouth, I can't make out a word he's saying!
I said if you're going to kill me, kill me now. Fuckwad!
Oh no! We ain't going to kill you.
- We're going to make a baby. - You and me?
No, silly. You and me.
I have two questions. Why is he all right with this?
And also if he ain't part of the baby making, what's he getting naked for?
We've been trying for a while...
- Felton shooting blanks! - Shut the fuck up!
We don't know for sure! All we know is that it ain't working!
- Jesus Christ! - I got a duty.
You know, to my kinfolk.
To propagate the bloodline.
But I also want to be with you.
Maybe... maybe it's just the stress the situation, but...
no... I don't follow.
If we are going to be sure we're going to make us a panther...
- You have to become one of us, first. - And if I don't want to be one of you?
Then that's just too fucking bad!
Fuck! Crystal...
Don't, please! I'm begging you.
You don't want to be together?
This is the only way.
I love you.
Oh suck it, Felton!
Sweetheart, please!
Try to relax, okay? It'll only hurt in the beginning.
Eric?
Eric.
Eric!
Who are you?
It's me, Sookie.
Who?
You know me.
What? No, I don't.
Why do you smell so good?