Captain's log, stardate 4372.5.
On a top-secret diplomatic mission,
the Enterprise has entered the Tellun star system.
Maintaining communications blackout, we have taken aboard Petri,
ambassador from Troyius, the outer planet,
and are now approaching the inner planet, Elas.
Some deskbound Starfleet bureaucrat cut these cloak-and-dagger orders.
Aye, but why the secrecy?
This star system's under Federation control.
It's in a border area, Mr. Scott. The Klingons also claim jurisdiction.
From what I've seen, it's not worth fighting about.
Why are we here, captain?
My orders are to cooperate with Ambassador Petri
and all matters pertaining to his mission here.
- Bridge to Captain Kirk. - Scotty.
- Kirk here, what is it? - I have a signal from the Elasians.
They're ready to beam aboard
and they demand an explanation for the delay.
Demand? What delay? All right, beam them aboard.
Sounds typical of the Elasians.
The scientists who made the initial investigation
reported the men were vicious and arrogant.
Well, that's just the negative part, Mr. Spock.
I've been over those records.
Now, the women, they're supposed to be something very special.
They're supposed to have a kind of a subtle mystical power
that drives men wild.
Ambassador Petri, would you drop all this nonsense
and tell me what this is about.
That must wait until the Dohlman is aboard.
The Dohlman? What the devil is a Dohlman?
The thing most feared and hated by my people, our most deadly enemy.
Welcome. I am Petri, ambassador of Troyius.
I'm Captain Kirk. This ship is under my command.
There's a Troyian here.
I must know that all is secure before the Dohlman is brought onboard.
This ship is secure and we're prepared for any hostile acts.
Energize.
Do honour to the Dohlman of Elas.
Glory to Elaan, Dohlman of Elas.
Space, the final frontier.
These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.
Its five-year mission: To explore strange new worlds,
to seek out new life and new civilisations,
to boldly go where no man has gone before.
You may stand.
Body armour, nuclear weapons.
Not without precedent, captain. Remember the...
Permission to speak was not given.
You rule this ship?
I am the first officer. This is Captain James Kirk.
Your Glory, I am Petri. In the name of my people...
You mission is known to us.
Captain Kirk, you have now permission to show us to our quarters.
Now, just a moment, there's gonna have to be
- some kind of understanding... - Captain, please.
My first officer, Mr. Spock, will show you to your quarters.
- Ambassador, if I might speak to you. - You have not been dismissed.
May I have your permission to go?
- You are now dismissed. - Why, thank you.
Ambassador.
Ambassador, I think it's time you told me what's going on.
That creature, Elaan, is to be the wife of our ruler.
To bring peace.
Our two warring planets now possess the capability of mutual destruction.
Some method of coexistence must be found.
- I see. So we go back to Troyius. - Yes.
But slowly, captain. I will need time.
Before we reach there she must be taught civilised manners.
In her present condition, my people would never accept her.
- And you are to be her teacher? - Those are my orders.
I must ask you and your crew to respect,
or at least tolerate, their arrogance.
- Friction must be kept at a minimum. - Yes. That I can understand.
Another thing you should understand, captain.
You have as much at stake as I have.
Your superiors have made the statement
that failure of this mission would be as catastrophic for Federation planning
as it would be for our two planets.
To gain peace at the price of accepting such a queen is no victory.
I will take her the official gifts I bear. Perhaps that will soften her mood.
Chekov, lay in a course for Troyius.
Mr. Sulu, impulse drive, speed factor.037.
- Impulse drive, captain? - Yes, that's correct, Mr. Sulu.
- Sublight factor.037. - Aye, aye, sir.
Captain, you'll not be using the warp drive?
All the way on impulse?
That will take a great deal of time.
Are you in a hurry, Mr. Scott?
No.
Captain, the Dohlman is dissatisfied with the quarters provided.
What's the matter with them, Mr. Spock?
I do not know, but all the Elasians seem most irrational.
I gave up my quarters because...
Yes, I appreciate your sacrifice, Lieutenant Uhura.
I'll talk to her myself.
Swine. Take back your gifts.
Your Glory, these are your wedding slippers.
Your ruler cannot buy the favours of the Dohlman of Elas.
This is your wedding dress. A gift from the bridegroom's mother.
I want nothing of his.
This is the most prized of royal jewels, for your lovely neck.
I would strangle if I was to put the gift of a Troyian dog around my neck.
Kryton, by whose permission did he enter?
He came in answer to your summons.
I understand you're not happy with your quarters.
Quarters?
Yes, not happy at all.
Am I a soft Troyian fawn to need pillows to sit on?
And these ridiculous female trapping, they are an offence to my eyes.
My communications officer generously vacated the rooms,
hoping you would find it satisfactory.
I do not find them so. And I find him even less satisfactory.
Must my bitterness be compounded
with that ridiculous ambassador aboard your ship?
I explained to Her Glory
that her council of nobles and the Troyius tribunal
jointly agreed that I should instruct...
Make her acquainted with the customs and manners of our people.
Kryton, remove him.
And take that garbage with you.
He dares to suggest that I adopt the servile manners of his people.
Your Glory doesn't seem to be responding to instruction.
I will never forgive the council for putting me through this torture.
Were you responding to my demand for better quarters?
There are none better. I suggest you make do with these.
You suggest?
There are no more available,
but if that's the only way you can get gratification
I'll arrange to have the whole room filled,
from floor to ceiling, with breakable objects.
I will not be humiliated.
Then act in a civilised fashion.
I did not give you permission to leave.
I didn't ask for any.
Captain, I wish to contact my government.
I cannot fulfil my mission.
It would be an insult to our ruler to bring this incorrigible monster
- as a bride. - Ambassador. Ambassador.
This is supposed to be a peaceful mission.
There cannot be peace between us. We have deluded ourselves.
Captain, when I am near them I do not want peace.
I want to kill them.
You're as bad as she is.
It's not required that you like each other.
- Just do your job. - Job?
The job is impossible. We cannot make peace with people we detest.
Stop trying to kill each other, then worry about being friendly.
- But if she won't listen to me... - Then make her listen, ambassador.
Use a different approach. Stop being so diplomatic.
She respects strength. Go in strong.
At first it appeared to be a sensor ghost.
But I've run checks on all the instrumentation.
All the equipment is functioning perfectly.
Hydrogen-cloud reflection?
None in this area. Nothing that would account for it.
- The ghost appears intermittently. - Speculation?
None, captain. Insufficient data.
It's not an instrument malfunction.
It's not a reflection from a natural phenomenon.
A spaceship?
Engineering to Captain Kirk.
Kirk here.
Captain, I know what you said about showing respect,
but must I have these persons fool around with my equipment?
Hang on, Scotty.
Be pleasant no matter how much it hurts. I'll be right down.
We're only running on impulse engines now.
Ordinarily, we use the warp engines exclusively.
Well, I suppose, lassie,
that even our impulse engines must seem fast
compared to your nuclear-propulsion units.
We're interested in how the ship is used in combat, not in what drives it.
Engines are for mechanics and menials.
Menials?
Without engines there'd be no fighting or...
Mr. Scott.
I wish you had told me that you wanted a tour of the Engineering Department.
Do we not have the freedom of this ship?
We have granted your crew the permission
not to kneel in our presence. What else do you want?
Courtesy. Remember?
Courtesy is not for inferiors.
Courtesy is for everyone around here.
And you'll find you won't be able to exist on Troyius without it.
Mr. Scott, our chief engineer,
has shown you his Engineering Department as a courtesy.
You respond by saying, "Thank you."
Bridge to captain.
- Kirk here. - That sensor ghost is moving closer.
On my way.
Lost contact now.
Captain, we had a momentary fix on the object,
long enough to establish it was a spaceship.
- Whose? - No data yet.
Captain, distant bearing, sir. Mark 73.5.
Main screen, extreme magnification.
Our ghost has materialised.
A Klingon warship.
Any change, Mr. Spock?
Negative, captain. The Klingon ship had simply moved into contact range.
She's pacing us, precisely matching our sublight speed
and on a parallel course.
- Security to Captain Kirk. - Kirk here. What is it?
Disturbance in the Dohlman's quarters, sir.
On my way.
Captain, it's Ambassador Petri.
They refused to explain what's happening but...
Her Glory has not summoned you.
Kryton, remove that Troyian pig.
It was a deep wound, Jim. He lost a lot of blood, but he'll recover.
If I recover, it will be no thanks to you, captain.
Yes, well, I said, "Talk with her," not, "Fight with her."
I should have known better than to talk to her unarmed.
But you forced me. I hold you responsible for this.
Well, I've heard of reluctant brides, but this is ridiculous.
Captain Kirk, may I speak with you, sir?
Yes, certainly.
A message just came in from Starfleet Command.
It was Class-A security, and scrambled.
- I put it through the decoder. - What was it?
The Federation high commissioner is on his way to Troyius
to attend the royal wedding.
Ambassador, if Elasian women are that vicious,
why are men so overwhelmingly attracted to them?
I mean, what magic do they possess?
It's not magic. It's biochemical.
A man whose flesh is once touched by the tears of a woman of Elas
has his heart enslaved forever.
Ambassador, there's an added complication.
The Federation high commissioner will be attending the wedding.
The fat will be in the fire when he learns
the bride just tried to murder the groom's ambassador.
There will be no wedding.
I would not have our ruler marry that monster
if the entire galaxy depended on it.
And I will have nothing further to do with you.
I'm not asking you to have anything to do with me.
Just do your job with her. How long will it be before he's on his feet?
Lt'll be a few days, a week at least, Jim.
Here you put me, captain. Here I will stay.
I have nothing further to say to you.
So Ambassador Petri is going to recover.
That is too bad.
You have delivered your message, now you may go.
Nothing would please me more, Your Glory.
But your impetuous nature...
Your Troyian pig was here in my quarters without any permission,
so I stabbed him. Just to be Troyian is enough.
You Elasians pride yourself on being a warrior people.
You must understand discipline to be able to give and take orders.
Now, my orders are to take you to Troyius to be married
and to see to it that you learn Troyian customs.
I despise Troyian. Any contact with them makes me feel soiled.
It's been my experience that the prejudices people feel
about each other disappear when they get to know each other.
It's not in my experience.
Well, we're still faced with the same problem.
Problem?
Yes, the problem of your indoctrination to Troyian customs and manners.
- I have eliminated that problem. - You've eliminated the teacher.
The problem still remains.
And how do we solve the problem?
By giving you a new teacher.
- Tell me, what can you teach me? - Table manners, for one thing.
This is a plate. It contains food.
This is a knife. It cuts the food.
- This is a glass. - Leave me.
Like it or not, you're gonna learn what you've been ordered to learn.
You will return me to Elas immediately.
- That's impossible. - Everything I order is possible.
That's the first problem we're gonna work on. Then we'll get you ready
- to go to Troyius. - I will not go to Troyius.
I will not be made into a Troyian, and I will not be humiliated.
And I will not be given to a green pig as a bribe to stop a war.
If you enjoy the privileges and prerogatives of being a Dohlman,
then be worthy of them.
If you don't want the obligations that go along with the title, then give it up.
- Nobody speaks to me that way. - That's another one of your problems.
Nobody's told you that you're an uncivilised savage.
A vicious child in a woman's body. An arrogant monster.
That's no way to treat someone who's telling you the truth.
Tomorrow's lesson will be on courtesy.
Lieutenant, open up the hailing frequency, identify us,
- and ask the Klingon his intentions. - Aye, sir.
Captain, no response from the Klingon vessel on any channel.
I see. All right, lieutenant, monitor all frequencies.
Phaser crews, stand by. Maintain Yellow Alert.
What are you doing?
No one may enter the Dohlman's presence.
- Where's Kryton? - On business.
No one may enter the Dohlman's presence.
Will you tell Her Glory
that Captain Kirk requests the honour of a visit?
The Dohlman has promised that I will be whipped to death
if I let Captain Kirk pass through that door.
Thank you, Mr. Spock. When they wake up, take them to security hold.
Captain, your analysis of the situation was flawless.
Anticipating that she would deny you admittance.
However, the logic by which you arrived at your conclusion escapes me.
Mr. Spock, the women on your planet are logical.
That's the only planet in this galaxy that could make that claim.
You dare touch a member of the royal family?
Only in self-defence.
Now, are you gonna behave or not?
The penalty is death for what you are doing.
We're not on Elas.
We're on my starship. I command here.
You are warned, captain, never to touch me again.
If I touch you again, Your Glory,
it'll be to administer an ancient Earth custom called a spanking.
A form of punishment administered to spoiled brats.
You have my leave to go.
You forget, Your Glory, we haven't started your lesson in courtesy.
You can teach me nothing, captain.
If I have to stay here for ten light-years,
I will not be soiled by any contact with you.
Very well, I'll send in Mr. Spock or Dr. McCoy.
You're gonna be properly prepared for Troyius.
As ordered by councils, rulers and bureaucrats.
Captain.
- There's one thing you can teach me. - No, you were right the first time.
There's nothing I can teach you. There's nothing you do not know.
I don't know how to make people like me.
I don't want everybody to hate me.
Well, it's not that people hate you.
It's just that people don't like to be treated as though they don't exist.
It's gotten very...
Something must have gone wrong with the ventilation system.
- Captain? - Pardon me, Your Glory.
- There will be a short recess. - Captain?
Captain, that ancient Earth custom called spanking. What is it?
It's...
We'll talk about it later.
- Bridge to Captain Kirk. Mr. Spock... - I have it on my sensor, lieutenant.
Bridge to Captain Kirk.
Come in, please. Captain Kirk.
- Please answer. - Kirk here.
Captain, I'm picking up transmission from inside the Enterprise.
It's on a tight beam aimed at the Klingon vessel.
Inside the Enterprise?
Can you pinpoint it?
Spock here, captain. I am triangulating now.
It's coming from the Engineering section.
Security to Engineering, intruder alert.
Security alert to all decks. Kirk out.
Nobody saw him, but the devil sneaked back in here some way.
Watson must have caught him and he was killed for it.
He had this. Looks like some sort of transmitter.
- It's Klingon. Bones? - Captain.
Neck snapped clean.
What kind of a signal did you send the Klingon ship?
Captain, you must know I will tell you nothing.
Our interrogation techniques are more excruciating
than you are even capable of.
Yes, I'm aware you're trained to resist any form of physical torture.
- Kirk to Spock. - Spock here, captain.
Mr. Spock, it was Kryton transmitting.
He refuses to talk. I'll need you for the Vulcan mind-meld.
Captain, I'm sorry, but he seemed...
What was he trying to cover that was so important
he felt he had to die for it?
Scotty, he didn't come into Engineering just to use the transmitter.
I want you to check every relay you've got.
Captain, you must realise the time...
Don't waste the time telling me about it. Get to it.
Aye.
Kryton was of a noble family.
He loved me and wanted to marry me.
He was furious when he heard of the announcement of the wedding plans.
And he sold out to the Klingons because of jealousy?
Probably.
But why speak of unimportant matters when we can speak about us?
There's a Klingon warship out there. What's their involvement?
Surely all of this isn't because they want to stop a marriage.
We should welcome their help.
Elaan.
Two planets, an entire star system's stability depends on it.
We have a duty to forget what happened.
Could you do that? Could you give me to another man?
My orders and yours say that you belong to another man.
What happened...
What happened was an accident.
It was no accident. I chose you and you chose me.
I have a plan.
With this ship, you could completely obliterate Troyius.
Then there would be no need for the marriage.
And in gratitude, my people would give you the complete rule of this system.
What kind of a mind could think of such a thing?
He's a Troyian.
Captain?
You cannot resist my love, my love.
Captain.
May we see you a moment?
Jim.
Jim. May we please have a word with you?
Captain, are you all right?
- Did she cry, Jim? - What?
Did she cry? Did her tears touch you at any time?
We're in trouble.
Now listen, Jim. Petri told Christine
that the Elasian women have a sort of a biochemical substance in their tears
that acts like a super love potion. According to him, it doesn't wear off.
- It is true, then, captain? - It's true.
Bones, you've got to find me an antidote.
I'll try, but I'll need test of...
Bridge to captain.
Captain here.
Captain, the Klingon ship has changed course.
It is heading toward us at warp speed.
On my way. Battle stations.
- Phasers stand by. - Phasers ready, sir.
Their speed is better than warp 6, captain.
Mr. Chekov, lay in a course to take us out of this star system.
If they wanna fight, let's get some manoeuvring room.
- Course computed, sir. - Laid in, captain.
All right. Ahead, warp factor 2.
- Captain, the matter-antimatter... - Belay that order.
What is it, Scotty?
The antimatter pods are rigged to blow up the moment we go into warp drive.
Scotty, that bomb he planted, can you dismantle it?
Not without being blown halfway across the galaxy.
Give us every ounce of power you can from the impulse drive.
And find a solution to the bomb. Kirk out.
Sulu, stand by to make your manoeuvres smartly.
- She'll be sluggish on response. - Aye, sir.
One hundred thousand kilometres.
Ninety.
Eighty.
Phaser crews, stand by to fire on command.
Sixty.
- Ready. - Fifty.
Hold your fire.
She's passed us without firing a shot.
I don't think they meant to attack us.
We were very fortunate this time.
Yes, their tactics are quite clear now, Mr. Spock.
They were trying to make us cut in warp drive.
That way, we'd have blow ourselves up and solved their problem for them
without risking war with the Federation. Very neat.
Very.
But why do the Klingons consider the position of this system so vital?
Yes, a very good question, Mr. Spock.
I have another question, captain.
Is not the Bridge the wrong place for the Dohlman, at a time like this?
I'll be the judge of...
Yes. You're quite right.
Thank you, Mr. Spock.
I want you to go to Sickbay. It's the best-protected part of the ship.
I want to be by your side.
Your presence here is interfering with my efficiency,
my ability to protect you.
Mr. Spock, you have the conn.
Deck 5.
I love you. I have chosen you.
And still I don't understand why you didn't fight the Klingon.
If I can accomplish my mission by turning tail and running,
I'll gladly do that.
And that mission is to take me to Troyius?
Yes.
Would you have me wearing my wedding dress for another man
and never see you again?
Yes, Elaan.
Are you happy at the prospect?
No.
Scott to captain.
- Kirk here. - I've got bad news, captain.
The entire dilithium-crystal-converter assembly is fused.
No chance of repair. It's completely unusable.
- No chance of restoring warp drive? - Not without dilithium crystals.
We can't even generate enough power to fire our weapons.
Kirk out.
My love, I have to go back to the Bridge.
Please, you must go to the Sickbay.
Yes, my love.
Test number 24. Colladium trioxide in an algobarium solution.
- Results also negative. - Doctor.
There is no antidote to the poison of Elasian tears.
The men of Elas have tried desperately for centuries to dispel its power.
- You're wasting your time, doctor. - It is my time to waste, ambassador.
Doctor.
The captain asked me to come here for safety.
Safety?
What is your estimate of our chances for survival, doctor?
That is the captain's responsibility, ambassador.
Captain, message from the Klingon ship.
They are ordering us to stand by for boarding or be destroyed.
- They demand an immediate reply. - They're trying to force a fight.
Scotty, what's our energy status?
Ninety-three percent of impulse power, sir.
- We can still manoeuvre. - Manoeuvre? Aye.
We can wallow like a garbage scow against a warp-driven starship.
Our shields will hold for a few passes,
but without the matter-antimatter reactor, we've no chance.
Captain, can you not call Starfleet on this emergency?
And let the Klingons know they succeeded
in wiping out our warp engines?
Help could not possibly arrive before the Enterprise would be destroyed.
Now that we are all about to die, I ask you once again
to accept this necklace and to wear it as a token of respect
for the desperate wishes of your people and mine, for peace.
That's all you men of other worlds can speak of,
duty and responsibility.
We'll stall for time, proceed on course and hope the Klingons can be bluffed,
or that they're not prepared for a general war.
- Open a hailing frequency. - Frequency open, sir.
This is Captain James Kirk of the USS Enterprise,
on Federation business.
Our mission is peaceful,
but we're not prepared to accept any interference.
Enterprise, prepare to be boarded or destroyed.
I'd say our strategy wasn't totally effective.
Captain, the Klingon ship is closing on an intercept course,
500,000 kilometres.
Deflector shields up.
Scotty, can you give me partial power on the phaser banks?
- No, sir. Not a chance. - Three hundred thousand kilometres.
I told you to stay in Sickbay.
I want to die with you.
We're not going to die.
- Now, get off the Bridge. - One hundred thousand kilometres.
It's passed us. All shields held.
Sulu, bring her to 143, mark 2. Keep our forward shields to him.
- Here he comes again, sir. - Stay with the controls.
Keep our forward shields to him.
Better than warp 7.
Hard over, Sulu. Bring her around, he's going for our flank.
- Sulu. - Sorry, captain.
She won't respond fast enough on impulse.
He's passed us again. Damage to number 4 shield.
How bad?
It will not withstand another full charge, captain.
I'm getting some very peculiar energy readings.
He's paralleling us again.
He seems to have broken off the attack.
What sort of readings, Mr. Spock?
She is the source.
Elaan?
The necklace.
- What kind of jewels are in this? - They call them radans.
The necklace is supposed to bring you luck.
It is of little value. They are common stones.
These are common stones?
See, captain? Here and here.
Common stones. Now I see why the Klingons are interested in this system.
- May I have this? - If I can be of any help, of course.
You may have just saved our lives.
Mr. Spock, do you think Scotty could make use of dilithium crystals?
No doubt, captain.
He's coming in again, sir.
Mr. Sulu, prepare on my order to turn quickly to port.
- Try and protect the number 4 shield. - Aye, sir.
Now, Sulu. Hard to port.
Shields holding but weakened, sir.
Captain, message coming in.
Enterprise, our readings confirm your power extremely low,
your shields buckling.
This is your last chance to surrender.
Captain, number 4 shield just collapsed.
Impulse power down to 31 percent.
Lieutenant Uhura, open a hailing frequency.
Channel open, sir.
This is Captain James Kirk of the United spaceship Enterprise.
May I request your terms for surrender?
No terms. Surrender must be unconditional and immediate.
Scotty, your estimate.
We're fitting it now, sir, but we'll have to run a few tests to make sure.
Test it in combat.
Captain, these are crude crystals. There is no way to judge
what the unusual shapes will do to the energy flow.
Aye. They could blow us up just as effectively as...
Let me know when it's in place.
- Open a hailing frequency. - Hailing frequency open, sir.
This is the Enterprise.
Will you guarantee the safety of our passenger,
the Dohlman from Elas?
No conditions. Surrender immediately.
Captain, he's starting his run.
Scott to captain. It's in place, sir. But I can't answer for what happens.
You and Spock get up here.
- Sulu, prepare for warp manoeuvres. - Aye, sir.
- Chekov, arm photon torpedoes. - Photon torpedoes ready.
- Warp power to the shields, captain? - Negative.
His sensors will pick up our power increase.
The more helpless he thinks we are, the closer he'll come.
As he passes, I wanna cut in warp drive.
We'll pivot at warp 2 and bring all tubes to bear.
- Aye, sir. - Mr. Chekov,
give him a full spread of photon torpedoes.
Aye, captain.
One hundred thousand kilometres.
Scotty, stand by to cut in warp drive.
Fluctuation. It's the shape of the crystals. I was afraid of that.
Seventy-five, 70, 60,
- 50, - Fire at minimum range.
- 40, - She won't steady down.
30...
Warp in, Scotty. Full power to shields.
Warp factor 2. Bring us to course 148, mark 3.
Chekov, photon torpedoes. Fire.
Aye, sir.
Direct hit amidships, by photon torpedo.
Damage to Klingon number 3 shield. Number 4 shield obliterated.
Loss of manoeuvring power.
He is badly damaged, captain. Continuing away at reduced speed.
Secure from general quarters.
Well done, Mr. Sulu, Scotty.
But I don't understand you.
You mean you won't pursue and finish him off?
No.
Mr. Sulu, resume course for Troyius.
Aye, aye, sir.
You will not beam down for the ceremony?
No.
I want you to have this as a personal memento.
I have learned that on Troyius they do not wear such things.
Remember me.
- I have no choice. - Nor have I.
I have only responsibilities and obligations.
Goodbye.
Energize.
It's stabilised now.
Spock, I've isolated the biochemical substance of the Elasian tears.
It's a kind of an infection, and I think I've found an antidote.
You're too late, doctor. The captain has found his own antidote.
Are you out of your Vulcan mind? Do you know how long I've worked..?
The antidote to a woman of Elas, doctor, is a starship.
The Enterprise infected the captain long before the Dohlman did.
Mr. Sulu, prepare to take us out of orbit.
Well, I doubt seriously if there's any kind of an antidote for the Enterprise.
In this particular instance, doctor, I agree with you.
Ahead, warp factor 2.