Nice one, Gordo.
This is Gordo's house.
Who talks like that?
Give me the rock.
Ethan does.
I'm not a big fan of gym--
especially basketball--
but when the opportunity to guard Ethan Craft comes up,
you take it.
Miranda's got game.
-I want game. -Our game is busy guarding Ethan.
True, but it's worth every second.
All right, watch and see how it's done.
Uh... is that how it's done, Gordo?
How did he do that?
Maybe next time, little man.
Is there anything Ethan can't do?
Yeah, count past ten without taking his shoes off.
But if he was cute and smart
he'd be Super Ethan
and I don't think the universe is ready for that.
But I am.
Can we talk about something else?
How about who Ethan's going to ask to the dance Friday.
You.
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
I mean, I-I don't care. Whatever.
Oh, I doubt he's going to ask you guys.
-Gordo! -Gordo!
It's probably true, but he doesn't have to say it.
You're just saying that
'cause you don't have a date for the dance.
Look, middle school's hard enough without the
added pressure of who I'm taking to the dance.
So, I guess we're all three going together?
Cool.
I guess it's just the three amigos flying solo.
Uh, hey, guys.
Hey, Parker.
So, Gordo, you're a pretty good basketball player.
I am? Oh, uh, yeah, I-I am.
Parker complimenting Gordo on basketball?
You don't think... Nah!
Yeah, you were totally robbed of that last basket.
Thanks, uh, I was.
Yep. See you around.
Later.
What was that?
Apparently Gordo's new best friend Parker.
I think I'm going to ask her to the dance.
One compliment, and Parker's in?
I compliment Ethan every day
and he's never asked me to a dance.
But what our no-dates-to-the-dance policy?
What, I-I can change my mind.
Maybe it's time to take a chance.
Live a little.
Well, I guess it's just the two amigos.
Yeah, well, you're a better dancer than Gordo anyway.
If you believe
We've got a picture-perfect plan
We've got you fooled
'Cause we only do the best we can
And sometimes we make it
And sometimes we fake it
But we get one step closer each and every day
We'll figure it out on the way.
Lizzie McGuire S02E26 A Gordo Story
Hey, Matt.
How was your day?
I need to talk to you guys.
One day.
Could we have one day without him getting into trouble?
What's up?
Um, we have to kind of give a report at school
about our ancestors and I was wondering
do we have any ancestors?
Of course we do.
What kind of stuff do you need to know?
Not much. Just where we came from and stuff.
my grandparents came here from Poland
during World War II.
My grandfather worked on an assembly line in a candy factory
and my grandmother worked in a hospital making beds.
Interesting.
Please tell me you've got something better than that. Please!
How about William "Braveheart" Wallace?
The guy who freed Scotland from English rule.
That's pretty good.
If it were true. Which it's not.
Your father came from dairy farmers in Kalamazoo.
I'm just trying to spice it up a little.
He doesn't need spice.
He needs to know about his family history.
I was just hoping we were related to someone famous.
I mean Lanny's related to Crispus Attucks.
He was the first American to be killed in the Revolutionary War.
Really?
That's pretty cool.
But I guess we're just the boring McGuires.
I'll just go upstairs and write my boring report.
Diary farmers?
So, did you ask her yet?
Uh... no.
So, what, you changed your mind?
Well, no...
He's so nervous.
It's like alternate-universe Gordo.
Oh, it's so cute.
Well, go ask her.
Yeah, it's not that hard.
Have either of you ever asked Ethan Craft out to a dance?
-No. -No.
And why not?
-Because it would be so embarrassing. -Mortifying.
Exactly.
I guess being a guy is harder than I thought.
Come on, Gordo, you can do this.
Yeah, the worst she can say is, um, "no".
But if she did then you'd just be stuck with us.
But she won't.
Uh... okay.
Wish me luck.
Gordo! Gordo! Gordo!...
Hey, Parker.
-So, uh, math homework, huh? -Yeah.
Yeah. Lots of math homework.
Yeah. I-It is.
So, uh, d-did you hear the one about the King of Norway?
So, what's going on?
It doesn't look good.
I hope he didn't tell the King of Norway joke.
Ooh, I-I think he's going to ask.
He's the one doing the asking
and I'm the one who's nervous.
Well, it was great talking to you, Gordo, but I got to motor.
Oh, um, okay.
Uh, Parker, I was wondering.
Do you think you'd, maybe like to go to the dance with me?
I'm sorry, I can't.
Looks like a "no".
Maybe I'm related to Mark McGwire.
It could happen.
I can't believe you're related to Crispus Attucks.
I mean, he's an American patriot.
And I have to follow it up with a report that says
I'm related to Kalamazoo dairy farmers.
Okay, I-I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Lanny.
This is hard. I mean, there's so much out there.
I could be related to George Washington
and not even know it.
And no one else would know it either.
Or maybe... I could remember the Alamo.
Or maybe... Elvis.
Yeah. That's it.
Vegas, baby. Vegas.
Okay, so tell me exactly what Parker said.
She said "Sorry, I can't."
But it looked like everything was going great.
Yeah, I know.
I guess I'm just the guy you say "hi" to in the hallway
and not the guy you actually go out with.
No Gordo...
that doesn't make any sense.
It's Parker. She's weird.
That girl's got some 'splaining to do.
I'm going to be right back.
Uh, Parker...
Oh, hi, Lizzie.
Hey. So, um...
it looked like you and Gordo were having a good time.
Yeah. He's pretty cool.
Yeah, he is. So...
why'd you turn him down for the dance?
Because he's short.
That's not a reason.
"I can't go because my cat died" is a reason.
Parker, you are short.
Listen, Lizzie, I know he's your friend.
Well, he's a great guy to hang out with, and all, but...
I don't want to go out with a short guy.
Later.
Parker is such a witch.
It's a good thing Gordo doesn't care what other people think.
Or... maybe not.
Are you okay, Gordo?
Yeah. Never been better.
Lizzie... what just happened?
I don't know.
So, have you talked to Gordo since yesterday?
I tried calling him but
his parents said he was doing homework.
He's doing homework?
See, I told you he'd get over it.
I don't know.
I-I've never seen Gordo take anything so personally.
I mean, it's Gordo.
Yeah, I know.
He's usually the one telling us
not to care what other people think.
It's like we've switched identities.
Nice boots.
What are you doing?
Running away to a rodeo or something?
What? These? I've had them forever.
I've worn them, like, a million times.
Hold it right there, pardner.
I don't think you're telling the truth.
The price tag is still on them.
Uh, Gordo, about yesterday...
I'm fine.
Did you know that the average 14-year-old male
is five foot six which makes me only four inches shorter
than the average 14-year-old male.
Well, good for the average 14-year-old male, then
but, Gordo you've always been above average.
Exactly, and most males hit their growth spurt by 15
which means I still have a year to grow.
Everything's cool.
Oh, so, you're cool with Ethan and Parker
going to the dance together.
And the award for bad timing goes to...
Figures. Tall guys get everything.
Since when is Parker "everything"?
With the way she treated Gordo,
she's not anything.
I know.
Ethan could do so much better.
That's not what I meant.
What did you mean, then?
You guys are part of the problem.
You know. You buy into the whole "tall guy" thing.
Look at who you have a crush on--
Ethan Craft.
We don't like him 'cause he's tall.
Why, then-- because he's smart?
You know what? Just...
just leave me alone. Forget it.
You know, I don't think I've ever seen Gordo... this way.
What do you do when the person with all the answers
is the person with the problem?
I'm going to go talk to him.
No. Just give him some time.
What are we going to do?
He'll talk to us when he's ready.
Well done, Lanny.
Crispus Attucks, huh?
Quite impressive.
You must be proud to be related to an American patriot.
And next up, we have Matt McGuire.
You know, we've all heard of George Washington
as the founding father of this country.
But who knew that he was the founding father... of my family?
And then, the family moved to Texas
where they changed their name...
to Crockett.
That's right-- Davy Crockett
who made his last stand at the Alamo.
But if Davy Crockett died at the Alamo
wouldn't that be the end of your family tree?
Please hold your questions till the end.
Thank you, and moving on.
And then, good old Uncle Elvis
picked up a guitar...
and changed the face of music forever.
That's right, I'm all shook up.
From fighting for our country
to fighting for rock 'n roll
the McGuires have not only seen history
but they've made it, baby.
Thank you! Thank you very much. Thank you.
...Said I wasn't her type
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six-foot impala
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller...
A girl who looked good...
...in a hat with a bat and a six foot impala
I wish I had a brand new car
So far I got this hatchback
And everywhere I go, yo, I gets laughed at
And when I'm in my car, I'm laid back
I got an eight track
And a spare tire in the back seat
But that's flat
And do you want to know what's really wack?
See, I can't even get a date...
Nice game, Mr. Dig. You got skills.
No, you're just easy to beat.
Come on, why do you got to be like that?
Hey, yo, Gor-don!
Hi.
Mr. Dig, how does a guy like you beat Ethan?
Practice, Mr. Gordon, practice.
In fact, I taught Allen Iverson the crossover.
There's no defense against it.
This isn't about basketball, is it?
-Not exactly. -Yeah, so, what's up?
Well, I asked Parker to the dance, and...
she turned me down.
The end.
So, a girl turned you down.
When I was in middle school
I got turned down so many times
I thought I was a bed sheet.
She turned me down 'cause I'm short.
Oh, yeah. I guess I should be used to it by now
since I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life.
My parents aren't exactly giants.
Well, you don't know how tall you're going to be.
My parents are both over six feet tall
and I'm not exactly Shaquille O'Neal.
I'm not any shorter today than I was last week.
It just never seemed to be so important before.
And now it's all I can think about.
No, trust me, I-I get it.
All I can tell you is that when I decided
that being short didn't matter to me
it didn't matter to anyone else either.
Well, it matters to Parker.
Yeah, well, there'll be other Parkers.
But you don't want people like that in your life anyway.
You know, Mr. Dig, you're not exactly making me feel better.
Well, I didn't say it to make you feel better.
I said it because it's the truth, Mr. Gordon.
Lanny's not talking to me.
How can he tell?
What happened?
I faked my family history report.
You what?!
What did you say?
That we were related to George Washington.
Davy Crockett.
And Elvis.
-What possessed you to do something like that? -Yeah.
I was jealous of Lanny.
And Dad said it was okay to spice things up a little.
Nice job.
The one time he listens to me.
Matt, you can't choose who you're related to.
You have to be proud of where you come from.
I only wish I had known that a couple of hours ago.
Well, you can change your future.
You can start by apologizing to Lanny.
That's a great idea, Dad!
I hope Lanny will still talk to me.
Great parenting comeback by Sam McGuire!
You do realize that we forgot to
punish him for lying on his report?
Can't I just have one moment?
Honey, you have a visitor.
Gordo?
I owe you an apology.
For what?
'Cause I said that you were part of the problem when,
when I've got the problem.
Gordo, I had no idea that it bothered you so much.
I should start paying more attention.
Neither did I, but it just really hurt, you know?
I've always been told that I can do whatever I want.
Because you can.
No, I-I can't.
I can't make myself grow.
Why would you want to,
to make everyone else happy?
Look, I know that I tell you and Miranda all the time that
who you are as a person is more important than how you look
but this one's tough, Lizzie.
This one I can't control.
I don't know. I guess I'm a hypocrite.
No, you're not a hypocrite.
You're normal.
Sometimes we all forget that Gordo's human--
including Gordo.
Miranda and I like you just the way you are.
I like who I am, too.
I would just like to be taller.
Well, I like who I am
but I'd like to be Britney Spears.
But it's not going to happen.
I guess it's kind of silly when you put it that way.
Yeah, it is.
We've made contact.
Gordo is in the building.
I mean, Gordo
you're smart and you're funny and...
a little weird sometimes
but... I wouldn't like you any other way.
Thanks.
So, you, uh, want to go to the dance with me?
Actually, you know,
I don't really date guys with, um... blue eyes.
I see.
But I guess, just this once,
I'll make a little exception.
Gordo, you, you made it.
And no cowboy boots.
Yeah, um, they weren't exactly me.
Good choice.
Um, hello.
Oh, I'm, I'm sorry, Lizzie.
I was talking to my date.
Um, actually, he's my date.
Thanks.
Whoa, check out Ethan.
Parker looks like she's having a great time.
No, it isn't the way we planned
But I want you to understand
If it all comes to an end
Have a nice life, baby...
It's the three amigos back together
and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Hey, guys.
Gordo, can I talk to you?
Actually, we're talking.
Listen, I'm really sorry.
Sorry for what?
For calling you short.
I am short.
Gordo's back.
Parker, I think your date is getting kind of...
lonely.
Yeah. Um, listen,
talking to Ethan is kind of like talking to wallpaper.
Well, actually, wallpaper's a bit more interesting.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say
is I think I came to the dance with the wrong person.
Really? 'Cause, uh I-I didn't.
Gordo two, Parker zip.
I came with exactly who I wanted to.
Me, too.
So, um, do you want to dance?
Well, if it's okay with my dates
I guess I could spare you one dance.
I guess it's okay.
I told you he'd come around.
Yeah. For once, Gordo is the one with the problem
and for once, you get to be right.
It looks like everyone got what they wanted.
So, why am I not happier?
Look, since, um, Ethan's flying solo right now
I'm going to go see if I can steal a dance.
-Okay. -Are you cool?
I'm cool.
Have a nice life, baby
It's not like before
So, I'm out the door
Have a nice life, baby
Just go on your way...
'Cuz he is tall?
He's really cool.
-It's raining. -It's raining.