♪ MAMA'S LITTLE BABY LOVES SHORTENIN', SHORTENIN' ♪
♪ MAMA'S LITTLE ♪♪
COMET, DO I GOT IT OR DO I GOT IT?
NO, YOU GOT IT.
UNCLE JESSE, I GOT A OWIE.
AWW, YOU GOT AN OWIE?
WHERE'S IT HURT, SHORTY?
RIGHT HERE. I NEED A BIG BIRD.
YOU NEED A BIG BIRD.
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
BIG BIRD BANDAGE TO THE RESCUE.
ALL RIGHT. WHERE'S IT HURT AGAIN?
RIGHT HERE.
CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, BUT DIDN'T THAT OWIE JUST JUMP ARMS?
OWIES ARE VERY TRICKY.
♪ AHH ♪
♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED TO PREDICTABILITY ♪
♪ THE MILKMAN, THE PAPER BOY ♪
♪ EVENIN' TV ♪
♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪
♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S ♪
♪ CONFUSIN' ME ♪
♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ AIN'T A BIRD WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪
♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪
♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR DREAMS SO SOON ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A HEART ♪
♪ A HAND TO HOLD ONTO ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A FACE OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪
♪ A LIGHT IS WAITIN' ♪
♪ TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
â™ª EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK â™ª
â™ª DO BE DO BA BA DA â™ªâ™ª
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
SIT RIGHT HERE, AND I'LL GET THE PHONE.
[RING]
TALK TO ME.
YEAH, HANG ON.
JOEY!
I'M BUSY.
IT'S YOUR AGENT!
3...2...1.
EDDIE. YEAH, WHAT'S UP?
UH-HUH.
YOU'RE KIDDING!
HOLD ON.
JESS, GREAT NEWS.
THE ARONSON CHIMPS ARE INFESTED WITH LICE.
BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE, SEE?
THERE'S THIS BIG CHARITY BENEFIT IN LAS VEGAS
AND THANKS TO THE LICE,
I'M TAKING THE CHIMPS' PLACE.
JUST DON'T USE THEIR COMB.
RIGHT.
EDDIE? YEAH. I'LL BE ON THE NEXT PLANE.
REALLY?
AW, THANKS!
YES!
[SOBBING] OH! THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
YOU GUYS WANNA BE ALONE?
NO. YOU CAME AT A GREAT TIME.
DANNY, TOMORROW NIGHT I'M PLAYING VEGAS.
JOEY, THAT'S GREAT.
WAY TO GO, DUDE!
WHAT'S VEGAS?
JOEY, YOU'RE PLAYING VEGAS. THAT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOUR DREAM,
NOT COUNTING THE ONE ABOUT THE CHARLIE'S ANGELS' REUNION.
NOT ONLY AM I MAKING MY LAS VEGAS DEBUT,
BUT I'M OPENING FOR WAYNE NEWTON!
OH, YEAH!
I GOTTA GO PACK.
I'LL GO WITH YOU. TELL ME ABOUT WAYNE.
HEY, YOU KNOW? WAYNE KNEW ELVIS. REALLY?
HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENING, MICHELLE?
JOEY'S OPENING A FIG NEWTON IN VEGAS.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
AND THE MONKEYS HAVE LICE.
MICHELLE, I THINK YOU'RE A LITTLE MIXED UP.
NO, I'M VERY MIXED UP.
JOEY, ALLOW ME THE PLEASURE OF FOLDING THESE FOR YOU, OKAY?
HEY, JOEY, ARE YOU GOING TO LAS VEGAS?
YEP, I'M FLYING IN FOR A REHEARSAL TONIGHT.
SOME MONKEYS GOT LICE, AND I'M OPENING FOR WAYNE NEWTON.
IS THAT WHAT I SAID?
HEY, DAD. COULD WE GO SEE JOEY IN LAS VEGAS?
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE?
I'VE NEVER WANTED ANYTHING MORE IN MY SHORT LITTLE LIFE.
PLEASE! STEPH, WAY TOO OVERDRAMATIC.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
SO, WE GOING OR WHAT?
WELL, LET'S SEE. WE'VE SEEN THE TOWERING REDWOODS
AND THE MAJESTIC GRAND CANYON.
WHAT THE HECK. WE MIGHT AS WELL GO SEE THE WORLD'S LARGEST SLOT MACHINE, HUH?
THANK YOU.
JOEY, THIS IS THE BIG TIME, MAN.
YOU BETTER CALL YOUR MOM.
WELL, I'M SURE MY MOM WOULD LOVE TO COME AND SEE ME BUT SHE CAN'T.
SHE'S GOOFY.
THAT'S A TERRIBLE THING TO SAY ABOUT YOUR MOTHER.
NO, NO. I MEAN, SHE'S REALLY GOOFY, AT DISNEYWORLD.
SHE WEARS THE BIG HAT, THE FLOPPY SHOES,
KIDS LOVE HER.
OK, YOUR MOM'S IN A DOG SUIT.
WHY DON'T YOU INVITE YOUR DAD,
OR IS HE RONALD McDONALD?
YOU KNOW? IT'D BE SO GREAT IF MY DAD COULD COME.
YOU KNOW? THE COLONEL'S NEVER SEEN MY STAND-UP ACT.
NAH, HE PROBABLY COULDN'T MAKE IT.
DID I PACK MY LUCKY TUBE SOCKS?
I'VE GOT A GREAT IDEA.
I LOVE IT WHEN YOU TALK SNEAKY.
JOEY, INVITE YOUR DAD. I'VE KNOWN YOU 4 YEARS,
I STILL HAVEN'T MET THE GUY YET.
LOOK, THE TRUTH IS, EVER SINCE MY FOLKS SPLIT UP,
WE JUST DON'T GET ALONG, OK?
SO JUST DROP IT.
COME ON, YOU GUYS. THIS IS A BIG SHOT FOR ME.
I'VE GOTTA FOCUS ON MY COMEDY.
HEY, SPEAKING OF THAT, MAYBE THIS CAN HELP YOU.
I JUST HEARD A BRAND NEW JOKE. IT'S A GREAT ONE, OK?
AN ESKIMO, A VIKING, AND A SCOTSMAN WALK INTO A BAR.
WAIT A MINUTE, MAYBE IT WAS A TANNING SALON.
IT DOESN'T MATTER. ANYWAY, THERE'S THIS FOURTH GUY,
OR WAS IT A LEPRECHAUN? I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK HE WAS GREEN... I'M NOT SURE.
BUT ANYWAY, YOU GOTTA PICTURE HIM. HE'S, LIKE, BALDING ON TOP.
HE'S NOT HOME. IT'S HIS ANSWERING MACHINE.
HELLO, COLONEL GLADSTONE,
THIS IS JOEY GLADSTONE'S PERSONAL SECRETARY,
UH...
JANET...ABDUL.
JOEY ASKED ME TO INVITE YOU TO LAS VEGAS TOMORROW NIGHT,
WHERE HE WILL BE APPEARING WITH WAYNE NEWTON.
HE REALLY REALLY REALLY WANTS YOU TO BE THERE.
STEPHANIE, IF I'M HIS PERSONAL SECRETARY,
WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?
HELLO? THIS IS HIS OTHER PERSONAL SECRETARY,
UH...
BARBIE DOLL...
AND...
AND BEAR! BARBIE DOLLANBEAR.
THANK YOU, BARBIE.
HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE, COLONEL GLADSTONE.
NEXT TIME,
LET ME DO THE TALKING, MISS DOLLANBEAR.
LIGHTEN UP, MISS ABDUL.
YES!
[LAUGHING] HI, YOU GUYS.
ALL RIGHT, JOEY!
WOW!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
PICTURES!
LET'S GET A SHOT OF EVERYBODY.
HI! HI!
LOOK AT ALL THESE PEOPLE LINED UP TO SEE JOEY.
I THINK WAYNE NEWTON MAY HAVE TINY BIT TO DO WITH IT.
GUYS, YOU GOTTA CHECK THIS OUT. SAVE OUR PLACE, PLEASE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.
NICE RING.
THIS IS IT.
THIS IS THE SHRINE TO ELVIS.
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS HIS JUMP SUIT,
GUITAR,
THE WHOLE STATUE.
THIS IS GREAT, GIRLS. I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I SAW ELVIS.
STEPH, I WAS YOUR AGE.
AND I'M SITTING IN THE AUDIENCE.
I FEEL THE ENERGY AND THE EXCITEMENT,
THEN THE MUSIC STARTED, ALRIGHT?
♪ BOM ♪
♪ BA-DA! ♪
AND THE DRUMS,
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!
THE BAND KICKED IN.
HE DID THE KNEEL THING. IT KILLED ME.
♪ BAH, BUH-BAH ♪ BACKWARDS WALK, ALWAYS BACKWARDS.
LIKE THIS, SEE?
IS HE GONNA SING AN ELVIS SONG
IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE?
I SEE HIS LIP STARTING TO CURL.
THEN HE GOT UP. THE SPOTLIGHT HIT HIM.
♪ WELL, SINCE MY BABY LEFT, BA-BOOM ♪
♪ WELL, I FOUND A NEW PLACE TO DWELL, BA-DAH... ♪
GET THE LEGS GOING.
♪ DOWN AT THE END OF LONELY STREET ♪
♪ AT HEARTBREAK HOTEL... ♪
EVERYBODY SING ALONG.
♪ I GET SO LONELY, BABY... ♪
[CROWD SINGS ALONG]
♪ I GET SO LONELY I COULD DIE ♪♪
YEAH!
[IMPERSONATING ELVIS] THANK YOU VERY MUCH, JESSE.
DID YOU GUYS HEAR THAT?
OF COURSE I HEARD IT, BOY. I JUST SAID IT.
DON'T BE CRUEL.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. I'M COMING, I'M COMING.
IT'S A BIG ROOM.
JOEY GLADSTONE FAN CLUB.
HEY! COME ON IN, GUYS.
WHOA!
OOH!
WOW, VERY IMPRESSIVE--
BIG WET BAR,
CLASSY VEGAS FURNITURE...
NICE BIG BOWL OF BANANAS.
THOSE WERE FOR THE CHIMPS.
HOW'S THE CROWD OUT THERE?
THE PLACE IS PACKED.
THEY WERE CHANTING, "WE WANT WAYNE! WE WANT WAYNE!"
"RIGHT AFTER JOEY!'
"RIGHT AFTER JOEY!"
HEY, LISTEN, GUYS. IT'S ALMOST SHOW TIME,
AND I'M SWEATING LIKE AN AARDVARK IN A SAUNA.
I'M GONNA GO BLOW-DRY MY SHIRT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
D.J., SHOULD WE SAVE AN EXTRA SEAT AT THE TABLE FOR JOEY'S DAD?
JOEY'S DAD?
WELL, IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE. WE LEFT A MESSAGE FOR JOEY'S DAD
INVITING HIM TO THE SHOW.
GIRLS, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CALLED COLONEL GLADSTONE
WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.
JOEY AND HIS DAD ARE LIKE OIL AND VINEGAR.
NO, THAT WOULD BE SALAD DRESSING.
THEY'RE MORE LIKE OIL AND MAYONNAISE.
ACTUALLY, THERE'S OIL IN MAYONNAISE.
LET ME SAVE US AN HOUR.
JOEY AND HIS DAD DON'T GET ALONG.
I'M COOL, I'M DRY
AND MY CHEST HAIR'S NEVER BEEN FLUFFIER.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
I GOT IT. THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART, YOU GUYS.
THIS IS WHERE THE STAGE MANAGER COMES IN AND SAYS,
"TWO MINUTES TILL SHOW TIME, MR. GLADSTONE."
HELLO, JOSEPH.
DAD.
DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I GOT A MESSAGE YOU REALLY REALLY REALLY WANTED ME HERE.
YOU DID?
I THOUGHT IT WAS RATHER CUTE,
HAVING YOUR PERSONAL SECRETARIES CALL.
NOW, THERE WAS A MISS JANET ABDUL.
WELL, OUTSIDE OF THE OFFICE THEY CALL ME D.J.
AND THERE WAS BARBIE DOLLANBEAR.
JOSEPH, I'M GETTING THE FEELING
YOU HAD NO IDEA I WAS COMING.
WELL, DAD, UH...
IT WAS MY IDEA. I'M SORRY.
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FUN SURPRISE.
WELL, YOU FUN-SURPRISED ME.
UH, DAD,
YOU REMEMBER DANNY, DON'T YOU?
RIGHT. THE SKINNY KID WITH THE CLEAN SHOES.
YOU WERE MY INSPIRATION, SIR--
SPIT AND POLISH.
ALTHOUGH HERE'S A HELPFUL HINT,
WITH A LITTLE MORE POLISH YOU CAN AVOID THE ICKY SPIT.
THANKS, DANNY.
THIS IS MY FRIEND AND BUSINESS PARTNER JESSE KATSOPOLIS.
NICE TO MEET YOU, SON.
PUT ON A TIE.
NICE TO MEET YOU, SIR.
NO.
WELL, GIRLS, WHY DON'T WE LET LET JOEY AND HIS DAD GET REACQUAINTED?
LET'S GET TO OUR TABLE BEFORE WE MISS JOEY'S SHOW.
BUT JOEY'S RIGHT HERE.
GOOD POINT. I'LL THINK OF A BETTER EXCUSE ON THE WAY.
DAD, THIS IS SO GREAT. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE, EITHER.
ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME.
WELL YOU CAN'T BLAME ME FOR THINKING YOU WOULDN'T COME.
I MEAN, I'VE BEEN DOING STANDUP FOR 11 YEARS
AND YOU'VE NEVER SEEN ME WORK.
YOU CALL TELLING JOKES WORK?
JOSEPH, YOU WERE A SMART YOUNG MAN. YOU COULD'VE GONE TO WEST POINT.
DONE SOMETHING IMPORTANT WITH YOUR LIFE.
WHAT'S IMPORTANT
IS WHAT I'M DOING RIGHT NOW, DAD.
I'M MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH.
I'M RUNNING MY OWN PRODUCTION COMPANY.
I'M HELPING DANNY RAISE HIS THREE KIDS,
AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,
I WILL NEVER MISS ONE THEIR DANCE RECITALS,
AND I'LL NEVER MISS ONE OF THEIR SOCCER GAMES.
THAT KIND OF STUFF NEVER MATTERED TO YOU.
ARE YOU FINISHED?
NO.
DAD, YOU MISSED MY WINNING GOAL
AT THE JUNIOR HOCKEY TOURNAMENT.
YOU NEVER SAW ME PLAY THE ELF
IN MY THIRD GRADE CHRISTMAS PLAY.
AND IT'S TOO BAD, 'CAUSE I MADE A ONE HECK OF AN ELF.
I WAS THE DeNIRO OF ELVES, DAD.
ARE YOU FINISHED NOW?
YEAH.
I GOTTA ADMIT IT FELT GOOD TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST.
I'M GLAD YOUR LITTLE OUTBURST
MADE YOU FEEL BETTER.
GOODBYE, JOSEPH.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JOEY GLADSTONE.
WHOA!
WELL, BLOW ME DOWN.
[LAUGHS LIKE POPEYE]
THANK YOU. OH, COME ON, NOW.
CUT IT OUT.
QUIT IT. COME ON.
WELL, QUIT IT. COME ON, NOW.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
THIS IS MY FIRST TIME PLAYING LAS VEGAS.
BOY, WHAT A TOWN.
IN THE SAME NIGHT YOU CAN GET MARRIED, DIVORCED,
LOSE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE SAVINGS,
AND STILL GO HOME HAPPY
BECAUSE HEY YOU HAD THAT 19 CENT SHRIMP COCKTAIL, YOU KNOW?
THANK YOU. OH, COME ON.
CUT IT OUT. QUIT IT.
SO, LET'S SEE, WHY AM I HERE? UH..
OH, COMEDY. SORRY, I KINDA LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT.
I JUST HAD A LONG TALK WITH MY DAD BACKSTAGE.
DON'T GET A CHANCE TO SEE MY DAD TOO MUCH THESE DAYS.
HE WAS A MILITARY MAN.
IT'S STRANGE GROWING UP
WHEN YOUR FATHER IS A PERSON IN THE MILITARY, YOU KNOW?
I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS 6 MONTHS OLD, HE SENT ME OFF TO BOOTY CAMP.
THAT WAS KIND OF FUN.
YEAH, I LEARNED TO CRAWL UNDER A BARBED WIRE.
YEAH, THAT WAS KIND OF WEIRD.
HAD THAT LITTLE CAMOUFLAGED DIAPER.
THAT WAS KIND OF CUTE.
YEAH, I REMEMBER HE TOOK US ON OUR FIRST FAMILY VACATION.
IT WAS A CROSS-COUNTRY TRIP AND
IT WAS A TOUGH MARCH WITH THAT 40-POUND PACK. YOU KNOW, MAN?
I REMEMBER EVERYBODY IN OUR FAMILY HAD TO GET BRUSH-CUTS,
EVEN GRANDMA. YEAH. THAT WAS..
BOY, POOR GRAM SHE HATED PLAYING BINGO
WITH THAT HALF-INCH OF BLUE HAIR, YOU KNOW?
OH, COME ON, NOW. CUT THAT OUT. QUIT IT.
SO, I'M A SINGLE GUY, WHICH IS GREAT, BUT...
[GIRLS CHEER] THANK YOU.
OH, COME ON.
WHICH IS GREAT, BEING A SINGLE GUY,
BUT THE ONLY PROBLEM IS YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH OTHER SINGLE GUYS,
ESPECIALLY COOL GUYS,
YOU KNOW THE KIND OF GUYS I'M TALKING ABOUT.
GUYS WHO ACTUALLY WOBBLE THEIR HEAD
'CAUSE THEY THINK IT LOOKS COOL.
YOU KNOW THESE GUYS, IF YOU'RE IN A BAR,
AT A PARTY, ANY KIND OF MIXED SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT,
THESE ARE THE GUYS WALKING AROUND LIKE THIS.
YOU KNOW, WHENEVER THEY RECOGNIZE SOMEBODY,
THEY ALWAYS DO THAT PHONY GUN-POINT THING.
IT'S LIKE...
HEY.
HOW'S IT GOING?
WHAT'S THAT?
I'M SLIME?
HA HA HA HA!
I DON'T, UH...
I DON'T THINK YOU REALIZE
I'M WOBBLING MY HEAD RIGHT NOW.
SOME GUYS YOU KNOW THEY THINK THEY'RE COOL.
THEY DON'T SEEM TO HAVE THAT HEAD COORDINATION DOWN PROPERLY.
THEY'RE GOING UP TO WOMEN LIKE,
"HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?"
I WAS IN A BAR ONCE, THIS GUY'S HEAD FLEW RIGHT OFF.
I WENT, "THAT IS THE COOLEST GUY I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE."
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, LAS VEGAS.
REMEMBER, IF YOU SEE ME WALKING THROUGH THE CASINO, I TAKE TIPS.
GOOD NIGHT, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
WHOA!
I DID A LITTLE BETTER THAN I THOUGHT. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
WHOA!
OH!
WAYNE NEWTON.
JOEY GLADSTONE. ISN'T HE FANTASTIC?
EVERYBODY.
ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU FOR FILLING IN ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.
NOW, I MUST ADMIT THAT YOU'RE A LOT FUNNIER THAN THE ARONSON CHIMPS,
AND YOU LEFT THE STAGE A LOT CLEANER, TOO.
I DO APOLOGIZE.
I APOLOGIZE FOR ALL THE BANANAS IN YOUR DRESSING ROOM.
SO WITH THAT IN MIND, LET ME SAY...
* DANKE SCHOEN *
♪ JOEY, DANKE SCHOEN ♪
HELP ME OUT, HELP ME OUT.
♪ THANK YOU FOR ALL THE JOY AND PAIN ♪
♪ DANKE SCHOEN TO MY NEW PAL, WAYNE ♪
♪ HEY, I'M INSANE ♪
♪ WAYNE, YOU'RE TO BLAME ♪
* DANKE SCHOEN *
♪ HEY, DANKE SCHOEN ♪♪
EASE UP, KID.
SORRY, UM.
SORRY, MR. NEWTON, SIR.
I GUESS I GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY THERE.
DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT IT.
LET'S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP.
* DANKE SCHOEN **
LET'S SAY GOOD NIGHT,
AND A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE.
THANK YOU.
JOEY GLADSTONE.
THANK YOU, MR. NEWTON.
GOOD NIGHT.
I LOVE YOU LAS VEGAS, THANK YOU.
AN APPLE JUICE TOAST TO MY MAIN MAN AND YOURS,
THE VERY LOVELY AND TALENTED JOEY GLADSTONE!
WE'VE GOTTA GET HER OUT OF VEGAS.
TO JOEY.
JOEY. JOEY. JOEY.
AH, WHAT A NIGHT.
I FINALLY PLAYED VEGAS, I WAS A BIG HIT,
AND I ACTUALLY SANG ON STAGE WITH WAYNE NEWTON.
IT WAS QUITE A NIGHT.
DAD, YOU'RE STILL HERE?
MAY I HAVE A WORD WITH MY SON?
YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD CELEBRATE.
AFTER ALL, THIS IS LAS VEGAS, THE MOST EXCITING CITY IN THE WORLD.
THERE'S GOTTA BE A MINIATURE GOLF COURSE OPEN SOMEWHERE.
YOU KNOW, I'M A LITTLE--
DAD, YOU SAW MY SHOW?
YES, I DID.
YOU HEARD ALL THOSE JOKES I MADE ABOUT YOU?
SOME OF THEM WERE ACTUALLY FUNNY.
YOU LAUGHED?
I WILL.
LATER.
RIGHT NOW, WE NEED TO TALK.
I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID EARLIER.
EVEN THOUGH YOUR MOTHER AND I WERE DIVORCED,
I SHOULD'VE BEEN AROUND MORE WHILE YOU WERE GROWING UP.
JOSEPH, IT WASN'T EASY BEING STATIONED IN SOME GODFORSAKEN PLACE,
AND GETTING MONTHLY REPORTS THAT YOU WERE GOOFING OFF
AND DEMONSTRATING A COMPLETE LACK OF DISCIPLINE.
WHEN I CAME HOME, I FELT YOU NEEDED STRUCTURE AND AUTHORITY,
NOT A PAL.
I COULD'VE USED A PAL.
ME, TOO.
I THINK WE COULD'VE BEEN GREAT BUDDIES.
AFTER ALL, YOU DO HAVE MY SENSE OF HUMOR.
UH, NO DISRESPECT INTENDED, DAD,
BUT YOU AREN'T EXACTLY MR. FUNNYPANTS.
WELL, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE THREE AND HAD CHICKEN POX?
WE WATCHED CARTOONS TOGETHER FOR TWO WEEKS.
YOU WATCHED CARTOONS?
WHO DO YOU THINK TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DO POPEYE?
[LAUGHS LIKE POPEYE]
WELL, BLOW ME DOWN!
I'M REALLY GLAD YOU CAME TONIGHT, DAD.
ME, TOO, SON.
I WAS PROUD OF YOU.
THANKS, DAD.
YOU KNOW, I...
I WISH WE COULD'VE HAD THIS NIGHT A LONG TIME AGO.
WELL, MAYBE WE CAN MAKE A FRESH START NOW.
I LOVE YOU, DAD.
I LOVE YOU, TOO, SON.
COME HERE.
YOU KNOW, DAD, THAT POPEYE LAUGH THAT YOU DID?
IT REALLY...
IT WASN'T GOOD.
UH, I MEAN, IT'S CLOSE. YOU JUST NEED A LITTLE WORK, YOU KNOW, ON THE...
"HA KA KA KA!"
IN THE ADAM'S APPLE THERE.
HA KA KA KA!
YEAH. THEN YOU JUST THROW IN A "WHOA!"
WHOA!
HA KA KA KA! YEAH, THERE YOU GO.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE