Ugh. That is disgusting. Hello!
Put your gum in a trash can, people.
Hey. -Go ahead, Gordo. Just say it.
Just get it over with.
Fine, here it goes.
I think that the Diamondbacks are overrated.
I mean, sure, they have the best pitching money can buy
but other than that
they're a bunch of banjo hitters and journeymen.
I can't tell if Gordo's putting me on
or if he's genuinely clueless.
Either way, I'm going to smack him.
Gordo!
Oh, you mean about you looking like a total goober.
You do.
It's for Pep Club initiation.
Now there's an organization worth humiliating yourself for.
Gordo, it's for the yearbook.
I'm going to do as many activities as possible
so I can have lots of different pictures.
I don't want a rerun of last year.
Oh, that's right.
The only picture you made it in was the 4-H fair.
You could just see the side of your head
sticking out from behind a goat.
Yeah, so this year, it's promotional blitz.
I mean, the ice cream eating contest...
...the hula club...
... and the shot put competition.
Who cares about being in the yearbook?
Talk about pointless.
Um, I seem to remember last year
you tried to be most photographed student, Gordo.
Oh, no, no. That was just to see if I could do it.
You know, like, uh staying up for 24 hours in a row
or making the world's biggest meatball.
Speaking of the world's biggest meatball...
Oh, good you finally found a look that works for you.
Kate, it's for Pep Club. For the yearbook.
Oh, that's right, you're, like, in 11 great pictures.
You know as editor of the yearbook
I think it's safe to say that
you're in as many good pictures as anyone in school.
But since I'm the yearbook editor
and since I have to take the pictures to the printer tonight
after Monte Carlo Night.
I'm just going to use, hmm, this picture.
But...
remember that time in the cafeteria when you found out
you were allergic to the oyster sauce?
But... you... I...
Kate, that really isn't fair.
No, it isn't, is it?
Oh, well. Don't go near the biology lab.
They might try to experiment on you.
Even I could think of a brilliant comeback
I'd still look like a rat searching for a contact lens.
If you believe
We've got a picture-perfect plan
We've got you fooled
'Cause we only do the best we can
And sometimes we make it
And sometimes we fake it
But we get one step closer each and every day
We'll figure it out on the way.
Lizzie McGurie S02E21 Lizzie's Eleven
"Great Operas of 19th Century Germany."
"Sound Effects for all Occasions--
boings, footsteps and steam trains."
"Karl Malone Reads Carl Sandburg."
I guess Lizzie won't have much
to work with when she DJ's tonight.
I thought it was Monte Carlo Night.
So why are we here during the day?
I told you, we have to find the perfect spot
for the last yearbook picture--
you and me enjoying Monte Carlo Night together.
Once we have the perfect shot
we take the yearbook CD straight to the printer.
How about we take it by the wheel of fortune?
It'd be like we're on that one game show.
You know, um, oh... What's it called?
It's the one with the wheel of fortune in it.
It's called Wheel of Fortune.
I know that, but what's the show called?
You better hope you never lose your hair.
Oh, hi, Gordo. Is Lizzie still crying
over the pictures that won't be in the yearbook?
You know, I do have one open page left
and I could put her on it or I could put me on it.
I choose me.
But tell her it was very close.
See you two tonight.
-Hello? -It's me.
You really got to put your yearbook dreams on hold.
Why? What did Kate do now?
What she always does--
ruin your life and then laugh about it.
But seriously, just forget about it.
Who cares if you get a picture in the yearbook anyway?
Gordo, you did last year.
Well I've grown as a person. You should, too.
But I want to be in the yearbook.
Well don't. People are just going to look at it for two days
write, "Have a great summer, love ya'"
and then it'll get stuck in a box
with old magazines out in the garage.
And it's just pictures. What's important is that
you had the experiences that the pictures represent.
Focus on that.
I'm going to need a plan.
There's got to be some way that
I can get my pictures in that yearbook.
Hey, how you doing?
Thanks for swinging by. You're looking good.
Are you trying to borrow money from me, Dad?
I'm practicing for Lizzie's Monte Carlo Night.
Your mom and I are on the chaperone committee for parents
and I'm assigned to be a greeter.
Hey, let me know if you need anything.
President Bush, if you don't settle down
I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Uh, 'cause he's really very nice.
So, uh... what are you going to be, Mom?
Well I wanted to be a blackjack dealer.
You know, I put myself through grad school
working on a riverboat.
Wow.
But, no. They want me to be a waitress.
So I will be carrying the sodas to the card tables all evening.
In that case, bring me an ice tea, would you, toots?
That's my girl.
-Or... I could just get that myself. -Yeah.
Matt, I need to talk to you about something.
Miranda's out of town visiting her aunt so...
Don't bother pussyfooting around, sister.
You've got Kate problems and you're looking for a fixer.
How did you know that?
Trust me, nothing goes on in this town
that Matt Maguire doesn't... sniff out.
So, uh what's your play? Short grift or long con?
I guess all this gobbledygook that
you're talking about means that you're going to help me.
My demands. Not negotiable.
$35.00 for your Christmas present?
$35.00 minimum
and it can't be anything you ever want to borrow.
I don't want to do your chores for a whole month.
Well then, I guess you don't want Matt Maguire.
Maybe you'll get your 11 pictures in the yearbook next year.
Sometimes, with younger siblings
you just have to be patient and diplomatic.
Hey, what are you doing?
No! No! Don't do that... oh!
Oh... wedgie!
Okay, I'll do it.
But yanking their draws up to their bellybuttons
can be a big time saver.
For this thing to work we're going to need some help.
It goes down tonight, at Monte Carlo Night.
And we're going to need somebody
who's just as shifty just as cunning.
Yo, yo, yo! Busting some monster jams.
Sorry. I'm still trying to figure out this whole sound system.
Kick it up, big baby.
The fox is in the hen house.
Phase one complete.
You know, I still don't see
why we had to get you into the classroom this way.
No reason. I just always wanted to do it
and it seemed like the perfect opportunity.
Operation Lizzie's 11 is underway.
Let's roll.
I'm okay.
Hey, great to see you. Thanks for coming in.
Glad you could make it tonight.
Hey, listen, how 'bout a photo for the folks back home?
There you go, kid.
What a weirdo.
Hi. Who had the ginger ale?
Right here, doll face.
Excuse me? How about "Mrs. McGuire"?
I like our sense of humor, cupcake.
This is for you. Buy yourself something pretty.
Sorry about that.
Amateur.
I don't understand why 22 doesn't beat 21.
Kate, look. I think you still have time
to be fair about this whole yearbook thing.
Why should I?
Because I really, really want to be in it.
I'll do anything, Kate, please.
You can borrow any of my clothes
and I'll do your homework for a whole entire month.
What do you say?
I say go away.
I'll tell you what I want.
I want you to stop making
such a big deal about this stupid yearbook stuff.
It's making me sick.
Gordo, if I want to be in the yearbook
why is that any of your business?
It's my business because maybe I don't want to hang out
with someone who gets hung up on such stupid things.
Then don't hang out with me.
Maybe I won't.
Maybe you shouldn't.
Wow, I didn't mean for this whole yearbook thing
to break up such a great friendship.
This is such a great bonus.
Fine, Gordo, if you don't want to hang out with me then don't,
and take your stupid CD's.
Here's your "Celtic Fusion"
and your "South African Techno Reggae"
and just go home, okay?
Beats hanging around here.
So far, I'm not wild about
how Operation Lizzie's 11 is working out.
Well, he doesn't want his chips.
Whoa, look at all these chips!
Hey, scram! These chips are mine.
Oh. I totally want you to get yours.
Did you find the key yet?
No. I just started looking.
There's kind of a lot of stuff in here.
I think Kate tortures people.
No. That's for eyelashes.
-Bingo. Got it. -Yes.
This is the Farmer. The goose is in the pot.
Roger that, Farmer.
Uh, deliver to the kitchen. The chef is waiting.
Raise the roof, raise the roof.
High on a hill there's a lonely goatherd.
The switch worked perfectly.
Your little fight was very convincing.
Great. Now, give me the key.
Whoa there. Ha. You got to give us the countersign first.
I am not giving the countersign. It's goofy.
No countersign, no key.
High on a hill was a lonely goatherd.
Yodel ay hee. Yodel ay hee. Yodel ay hee hoo.
That was so worth it.
We're in.
Notebook?
Got it.
Her password's "Beautiful Kate."
She's a freak but she's got style.
Hi. This is the Chef.
I'm loading and formatting your pictures now.
It'll take a while.
Roger that. Matt, commence operation.
Ruin all of Kate's pictures
until Gordo's finished with whatever he needs to do.
Wait a minute. I had to say, "Yodel ay hee hoo."
That was your code phrase. That's bogus.
-Tudgeman? -Here I'm ready.
Finally. Keep dancing.
It's about time.
I have to get this picture to the printer by midnight.
Ethan!
That's it, baby. You and me making magic.
I'm at your feet
Whenever...
Whenever, wherever
We're meant to be together
I'll be there, and you'll be near
And that's the deal, my dear
Excuse me, Lizzie.
Oh! I'll just take the picture myself.
I'll get my purse, fix my makeup
and then I'll get this stupid picture taken.
Gordo, the purse. She's going to find out
that we switched the purse.
Don't-don't worry. I just need, like, 30 more seconds
and Melina's on her way with the purse.
Keep dancing, everyone.
Matt, did you see that?
Did you see what I just did?
No, I didn't see anything.
Next time I perform I want an announcer,
a spotlight and someone to catch me!
Kate's getting her picture.
Beautiful. Used a faster shutter speed.
Stopped down a bit to get that whole Avedonesque look.
Just give me the memory card.
I have to load it and get it to the printer by midnight.
I have a deadline.
Nobody cares about art.
Is she going to the yearbook office?
Looks like it.
Gordo, Kate's coming. Hurry up with the yearbook.
That was just a song that I was going to play next.
but instead, I think I'll just play "Oom Bop."
Do you guys remember "Oom Bop?"
There, that was a good cover.
-What was that supposed to mean? -What?
-That thing about the yearbook. -When?
Right now when you told Gordo to hurry up. -Who?
Fine. Mrs. McGuire.
Oh, perfect. Ouch! She's getting Mom involved.
Lizzie, I want to know what's going on
-and I want to know now. -Well...
Okay. Lizzie's version of the yearbook is writing on a CD.
And voil? It is done.
I don't think you're done quite yet.
Um... Um... Um, I'm going to get a drink of water at my house,
'cause we have a filter.
You know, you're looking quite...
ravishing this evening.
And you're looking very guilty.
What you got there?
Um, n-nothing.
That's the yearbook CD. It's mine, and I want it right now.
Gordo.
See, Mrs. McGuire, this is the disk
they thought they could switch for mine.
Give it here.
Load in your picture.
Do you mind?
Yeah, you really should wear your hair like that every day.
Put a sock in it, Gordo.
You betcha.
There. My Monte Carlo picture is loaded and in place.
Isn't it pretty, Lizzie?
There, done.
Okay. Take this directly to the printer.
I'm on my way. Oh, thanks, Mrs. McGuire.
You've really helped to make the yearbook just right.
Lizzie? Gordo? You guys were very convincing.
You were even better.
She totally believed every word that you said.
Hey, how you doing?
Everybody having a good time?
Well, did it work?
Every step of the way.
Kate totally believed that Gordo was mad at me
so she went for the spilled poker chips
just like we knew she would.
Well, you did your little broadcast switch mix-up just right.
I didn't think you could pull it off.
And why did Kate have to think she busted you?
Well, because we knew that
she'd put her pictures on her yearbook CD.
And it got me into the room to switch the disks
so I ended up giving Kate Lizzie's yearbook CD.
So, I guess my card shark skills
got used at least one time tonight.
I could think of a million ways to use them.
No, no, no. Kate went over the line with the yearbook
so this was a onetime deal.
Your mother only uses her grifting skills
for good, not evil.
I never thought about it but parents have to be con artists.
How else would they get us to eat our vegetables or go to bed
on time or send thank you notes for crummy presents
we've already exchanged for store credit?
You know, there hasn't been music playing for,
-like, what? Ten minutes? -Whoa.
-And they're complaining about not getting their drinks. -Oops.
Oh, my gosh! There's nobody in there greeting them.
They said they're glad you're not hassling them anymore.
That's "Okay, everybody" in French.
Monte Carlo Night is almost over.
So, one more song,
and it's au revoir. That's French for "We're out."
Well, however you say it you got your pictures in the yearbook.
Yeah, but you know what the best part was?
Was all of us doing it together.
I mean, coming up with the plan
and each of us doing our own thing.
That was really cool.
It's true. I mean, pictures fade, and they get torn
and stuff spills on them
and your haircut looks really dorky.
But memories last forever.
This is itching my face.
That's okay. Use it.
Never know what's going to come next.
Yeah.
I wanted to be a blackjack dealer, but...
Well, I wanted to be a...
We had it, you know?
I know. We may still have it.
Well, I wanted to be a blackjack dealer.
You know, I put my way through grad school...
I'm so sorry.
I found the back to my earring.
But yanking their drawers up to their belly buttons
can be a big...
Cut.