- Katie... - It is wrong, it is out of the question.
You knew I wanted a baby and you borrowed money on that.
I am so sorry!
They're one-way.
I can't trust myself around you.
- Do you think I want to screw up your marriage? - Shh!
I tried to be honest with you. Don't lie to me. Who is she?
No, Mark, it is over!
He doesn't love me. He loves her!
- Where? For how long? - Just away. What does it matter?
Speak. Don't hang up.
My train leaves in half an hour.
It's either really bad traffic or you've changed your mind, so...
I'm just going to get on the train.
- Long time. - I know.
Um... do you want to tell me what all this is about?
I thought you said it was gonna be just me.
Are you not gonna even say hello to me?
Is that...?
Look, please, come on. Let's just give this a chance, all right?
This had better be good.
- Here she is. - Ok, girls, we can do this.
He loves us all, just you remember that, yes?
I can't.
Amy, love, you can.
What would I do without you all?
Are you all right?
It's not really about me, is it?
Ladies and gentlemen, if you'd like to stand, please.
Fear no more the heat of the sun nor the furious winter's rages
thou thy worldly task had done home art gone and ta'en thy wages
golden lads and girls all must as chimney sweepers come to dust
fear no more the lightning-flash
nor the all-dreaded thunder-stone
fear not slander, censure rash
thou hast finished joy and moan
all lovers young, all lovers must
consign to thee, and come to dust.
No, thank you.
Well, that was gruelling.
Yeah.
When's your flight?
- This evening. - Yeah.
Siobhan, just say the words and it's done. Tell me not to go to New York.
Dominic, you have to get a grip! Our timing's never been right.
It's because we've never made it right. We have to make it right.
It would destroy her. I would never be able to live with myself.
- I'm going to say something to her. - No. Don't.
Don't.
You can't just shut me out of your life like this, Jess.
If you're serious about this, we have to discuss how it's going to work.
There's a letter in the post.
You're going to have to get yourself a solicitor.
- Thanks. - I've cancelled my flight.
Please don't do it for my sake.
I'm not expecting you to put me up.
Katie, I'm going to take the house off the market.
- I'll stay there for the moment. - What on earth for?
- What about Dale, your ranch? - It can wait.
You need looking after.
Bit late for all this, isn't it, mum?
I've been looking after myself for a while now.
I'm being quite serious. You didn't make any of this happen.
He would have been so proud of you.
The way you read that poem.
Why won't anyone talk about him down there?
Everyone's talking about anything but Richard.
Maybe they think that's what you want.
I miss him.
But it's not just that. There are so many questions I want to ask him.
And now I can't.
He was in love with someone else, Siobhan.
- Siobhan... - Hey.
Dominic...
he seems kinda preoccupied at the moment.
- Really? - I'm not blind.
Sorry? - I'm begging you, please let him go.
Alice...
- Alice? - Dom.
There's something I want to say.
To both of you.
I know you're going to be so happy together and I just want to wish...
She's...
special, this one.
Look after her.
"You have one new message.
Hi, it's me...
It's either really bad traffic or you've changed your mind,
so...
Um...
I'm just going to get on the train.
Bye, Richard."
Excuse me.
Can I talk to you?
Excuse me.
I need you to be completely straight with me.
Right.
I just heard the message you left Richard on his mobile.
Katie, please tell me I'm being crazy...
I, um...
Oh, God, Trudi, um...
- We can't help what we feel. - Yes, we can.
No, no, no. It's what we do that matters...
Do? Yes, it is, Katie, and you spent hours alone with him.
God, I knew married men were your thing, but mine, Katie?!
Trudi, listen, I promise we never...
- we didn't... - Didn't what?
You didn't touch each other?
You didn't want? You didn't... kiss?
Oh!
I want to be sick.
- Trudi, just... just... - Don't bloody light a cigarette!
Just...
Look at me, look me in the eye!
Now, you will tell me everything that happened.
Shit!
He was my husband, Katie. My husband. Mine.
I know! I know. And I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Too late.
Stop! Stop. You have to stop this.
Stop what? She didn't let anything stop her.
She didn't do anything.
- You knew about this? - Yes.
No! God! No!
There's nothing to know. I talked to her, she said she would never, ever.
Trudi, you need everyone you've got right now.
Trudi, she's right, we have to hold together.
We could say something we'd regret.
Who the hell is this royal "we"?!
I mean, did you know as well?
You both knew and you didn't tell me?!
Well, thank you.
Trudi...
And I never want to speak to you again.
This had better be good.
- Jess... - Jess, what?
- Please. - No! Thank you, Katie...
For getting me to be the guest speaker here today,
but forgive me if I don't feel like co-operating just this once.
- You need us. - I don't think I do.
Wait. We all just need to talk.
Obviously, we need to talk.
No, look. I didn't bring us all here to kiss and make up. It's Jess.
She's got something that she needs to tell us.
You need them to know.
Why? We haven't spoken for...
six months?
You're not my friends.
I tried ringing you after everything that happened. Nothing.
I tried to call you too.
It takes two, Jess. I tried calling you, and you just didn't reply.
Well, do you blame me?
If I remember rightly, the last proper conversation we had,
you told me my husband was pathologically irresponsible
and that I was, and I quote, out of order standing by him.
Look, I'm the one who was out of order.
Every time I think of that conversation, I cringe.
I lost my temper, I was wrong
- to say what I did to you. - You weren't, actually.
Mark and I, we're not together any more.
Oh, is that why you...?
No. It's not that.
Come on.
I'm ill.
I bumped into Katie at the hospital.
Do they want to give you chemo?
Jess, you poor, poor darling.
How did you find out? I mean, have they...?
Has the hospital given you any indication of...?
No, no, they can't, not until they open me up.
Thursday. They'll take a look inside...
take biopsies from my ovaries, see what stage it's at and if it's spread.
- Could it have? - Maybe, yeah.
I'm sorry, I just can't believe it.
How did you know?
I didn't at first.
I thought I was pregnant.
My periods were all over the place,
and I was feeling really sick and bloated.
Then everything cleared up for a while, and I was fine for ages,
but then I got this terrible pain here...
and I knew I couldn't be pregnant by then,
unless it was an immaculate conception, so...
You've been incredibly lucky, Jess, to find out when you did.
Why didn't you just tell us?
Come on, Siobhan.
Because of how everything was.
Because of how everything is.
The thing that none of us is saying
is that you...
and you...
it just feels like what we had is broken.
Jess...
This is something else, ok? That has nothing to do with this.
- We will not let this affect... - We will be there for you.
All of us.
Yep.
Yeah. Ok, I'm driving you home.
- No arguments. - Um...
So, Thursday.
Yeah, we'll all be there at the hospital.
Any time, any questions before then, just call me, ok?
If you feel lonely or you need anything.
- If you want company or a quiet night in. - Oh, God. Screw that.
Do you know what I actually really fancy is a bit of a night out.
But then come to my party! Jeff's having a surprise birthday party for me tomorrow.
A surprise birthday party?
Yeah, I know. You'll have to check out my surprised face.
But, honestly, come. I'm being selfish, I need the support.
If you feel up to it.
Come too.
All of us. Why not? Start as we mean to go on.
Sure. Ok.
- Great. - Ok.
Thank you.
It's good to see you.
I know it might sound mad, but I could...
I could still have children... if it's only in one ovary.
What does Mark say?
- I haven't told Mark. - Jess!
- Is that really bad? - You've got to tell Mark.
Actually, sorry.
Sorry. Do you know what, I've had it up to here with people telling me
what I must and mustn't do.
And now I'm doing it.
- But you must. - I will.
It's just every time I tell somebody else,
it's like I'm telling myself again.
Having to deal with their reaction.
Yeah, I know.
So where's this surprise birthday party going to be?
It's at my house.
So you've given Jeff the keys to the castle?
And?
Nothing.
- Nothing, just an observation. - It's good.
Really, I keep wondering when he's going to dump me.
- What about Dom? - He's in America.
We talk, he visits and bodily fluids are not exchanged.
All very grown up.
Katie, I've missed you.
Oh, this can't be happening.
It is happening.
What can I do?
How can I help?
You should go.
- You're going to be late for work. - Yeah.
How can you be so...
- calm about it? - I don't have a choice.
Trudi Malloy!
Great to see you!
- Thanks, Chris, for taking the trouble... - No problem.
I generally pop in every so often, actually, to touch base with Fiona.
- You met her when... - Oh, yeah, briefly.
To be honest, everything was a bit of a blur at the time.
Well, I just wanted to see how things were going.
I know it's been a long time.
Sure.
Hey!
Fiona, you remember Trudi?
- Of course. Hi.- Hiya.
I don't want to bore you with the decimal points,
but the e-shot really made an impact.
And you've seen the new website, which Fiona masterminded.
Er, yeah.
- Have you told Trudi yet? - Told me what?
- "Always Organic"? - The timing couldn't be better.
I've been saying for a while that we're on the verge of over-saturating our market.
They're a big chain... we're just a niche outfit.
- It would be a brilliant partnership. - Um...
- Do you not think? - Um...
Look, Trudi, I didn't mean to spring all this on you,
but the offer won't be open for ever.
There's no question, we should go for it.
But, um...
Well, Chris, it's not the offer that I'm doubting, it's...
I'm sorry, I thought I could do this, but I don't think I can. I'm sorry...
Trudi, we can tick along fine here, but I invested in this business.
I didn't buy it.
It's yours.
And what it ultimately needs is you.
So think about it.
We don't need to give an answer yet.
But we should do soon.
Sorry.
- Katie, you really... - Mother, do you not understand?
I haven't got time to talk now, I've got to go.
I've got to be at Siobhan's, I've got a meeting first.
There you go again! That's exactly what I was talking about.
Well, what are you talking about?
All this stuff.
The meetings, the charity... the gym, for God's sake.
It all feels like some desperate attempt
to atone for something that never even happened, did it?
So, there are gonna be lots and lots of people here
and they're gonna jump out and shout, "surprise!"
Oh...
Oh, well. Mummy thought people would be here, but...
go and get all your dollies instead, and we'll go and play a big game, ok?
Good girl.
Surprise!
Happy birthday.
Champagne!
What are you doing here?!
Jess, are you sure this is fun?
Oh, honestly, you don't understand.
It is so good to be in a room full of people who don't know and don't care.
In fact, you know what I'm starting to get really sick of?
Positive thinking.
It'll be fine.
I'm sorry I'm late. Teenagers and...
- Happy birthday. - Can I?
That is fantastic!
Is it ok? It's the first I've made in a while.
Oh, Trudi!
Come on.
Put it here.
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
Oh, love.
Wow!
Yeah. If she was a pork pie, he'd eat her.
I should really go back.
Look in the top drawer.
Oh, Jeff, that is so sweet!
It's because your legs remind me of hers.
And... whenever you need to know the time, it'll be me who's telling you.
Thank you.
Trudi...
Please.
Shout at me, call me a bitch, anything.
Anything would be better than this.
I miss you.
I so regret what happened.
Whatever you need me to do, I will do it.
I'm... I'm sorry.
I'll be polite.
I'll do everything that's required, but it's for Jess's sake, not yours.
I can't be your friend any more.
- Hi, is Siobhan... ? - Yeah, come on in.
Thank you.
Sorry, excuse me.
- Dominic! - Thought I'd surprise you on your birthday.
Um... I'm here for work, three days, but I can see you're busy.
No, no, it's... it's fine. Um... er... Oh, God, I'm sorry, I had no idea.
- Er, let me get you a drink. Yeah? - Sure.
Jeff, you remember Dominic?
- Yeah. Hey! - Hi, Jeff.
- Nice to see you. - And you.
- Hey. - Hi.
Where's Trudi?
She said she had to go. I'm sorry...
- I'll get you... - Yeah, sure.
- Holy moly! - Are you ok?
- God! - Here, let me do that. I'm good at it.
What is going on?
I have no idea... I've no idea why I feel so guilty.
Ok, got to bring this over to him.
- Right, um, I'm going to go. - Why? The show's only just beginning.
Sorry, I'm a bit lagged. I'll pass, if that's ok.
- I think I'll just go back to my B&B. - Do you want to pop up and see Elsa?
No, no, no.
Let her get her beauty sleep. I'll, um... I'll come by tomorrow.
Ok.
Sorry, Jeff, you couldn't give us a minute, could you?
- Yeah, sure. I'll just pop next door. - Oh, thanks.
Well... there you are.
It's just wine.
"Whoite woyne".
Happy birthday.
Dom, are you sure?
You've just got here. How's Alice? How's your beautiful apartment?
- Um, we're not living there any more. - So, where are you?
I'm in the Meatpacking District.
No puns, please. I've heard them all.
I'm gonna go.
Oh...
Hello?
- Hey! - Oh, my God!
You had virtually nothing left in the fridge...
Mark, what are you doing here?
I've still got my keys. I thought you might want some TLC...
- TLC? - I've just boiled a kettle.
- Do you fancy a mug of horlicks? - I don't want a horlicks, Mark!
When have I ever drunk horlicks? I want a large glass of wine.
I haven't had a personality transplant.
Um...
Er, so I thought I might sleep on the sofa, just for a couple of days
until you've had the op.
I thought you might want... company.
- Um... - Look, Jess,
I know this must be a bit weird... but I just want to be there for you.
But we're not together any more.
This is cancer, Mark,
it's not some fairy tale that's going to bring us back together.
I'm sorry.
Look, I'm not angry with you any more, I just...
I can feel it's over.
And you can too.
If you're honest.
Well, I'm here if you need me.
Oh, hi, sweetie.
Amy, um...
I want to say that dad's stone is going to be ready next week,
so we can put it down and get rid of the temporary one.
When do you want to do it?
- I don't. - What?
I don't like going there.
Every time I go there, it makes me feel like I'm waiting for something
that's never going to come back.
Amy...
I just miss dad so much. I wish he was here.
I do too.
- I know how you feel. - No, you don't know how I feel.
None of you know how I feel.
When's the nil by mouth start?
Midnight.
Then I turn into a pumpkin.
A pumpkin that can't give blowjobs.
I wouldn't anyway.
I know that!
- Here you go. - Oh!
- Your bucket of wine, madam. - Mm!
Simon, thank you.
I honestly think without you...
I would've gone a bit insane by now.
Now...
One flew over the cuckoo's nest or girl, interrupted?
Gaylord.
Katie, I've brought you...
What is it?
Why am I such a mess?
I've messed up my entire life and I don't even know how I managed it.
Why did it all happen? How...
How could I have let it happen?
Katie, I know... I think I know how you feel.
Richard was a special person. But it was compromised.
- Do you think I don't know that? - Wait, wait, let me finish.
You're not just grieving for him, this is about so many things.
Your friendships, which you feel you've...
- but you can mend it, you can. - I can't.
I've tried speaking to Trudi, and she doesn't want to know me.
I'm not surprised. I don't want to know me any more.
Oh, darling...
This is a joke. Look! They do it to humiliate you, right? Look!
- Look at it! - You've got it on the wrong way round!
But it is a crying shame not to have them out on show.
- Oh! - Oh, I just wanted to do your bloods.
- I can come back. - Oh, no, no. We'll get out your way.
- We'll go and buy you some magazines. - Ok.
Come on.
Let's sort this out. What have you done?
Are you ok? You seem...
Oh, I didn't sleep too well last night.
Things are a bit difficult with Amy.
I don't know.
Sometimes I feel like I am the worst person for her at the moment.
Maybe she just needs me to back off.
Why don't you go back to work, Trudi?
Not just for your sake, for hers.
- Just take the spotlight off her. - I tried that, it didn't work.
So try again.
Hm?
How come you didn't sign it before?
Because...
I needed some time to think about this. I...
if I sign this, then they can take out the lot, right?
I'll have another word with the surgeon, make sure he's absolutely clear.
They know you want to have kids.
But, Jess...
you have to leave it to them to make that call, ok?
Yeah, I know.
Oh... the thing is, Katie,
is that... now that I'm going to find out, I don't know, what the damage is...
I don't think I want to know.
It's ok.
Hey, got these. Should cover most bases.
Ok, I'm going to take that and go and have a quick chat with them, ok?
Oh, God, quickly, please just tell me something to distract me.
- Ok. Shit, er... what? - Jeff? Love life?
Jeff... it's great, it all makes perfect sense.
Stop it! It actually hurts!
Put your left arm up. Ok, like that.
Bend into yourself...
I can't even drink a bloody glass of water!
Stop it, you! That's not helping!
- Jessica Fraser? - Yes?
I'm Doctor Khan, your anaesthetist. I'll be with you in theatre this morning.
I'll be back in ten minutes or so,
and we'll have a chat about the operation and your general health.
Ok?
Well, that's my hiccups gone.
You ok?
No. I'm really scared.
Hi there.
Thanks for looking after her, Dom.
No problem. How's Jess?
Jeff?
No, Jess, your friend.
Oh, fine. Um...
We did our best to make it cheerful. Not very easy.
But we'll go in with her when she gets her results.
- When's your flight? - Tomorrow.
Yeah...
So, um...
I'll see you in a couple of months.
Yeah.
It's good to see you, Dom.
- Oh... - You ok?
Yeah, it's just that I feel like I've been beaten up.
Oh.
It's that anaesthetic.
I've got this... this chemical taste in the back of my nose.
Oh, mate! Do you want some water?
No, I just... I really want to go home.
- Come on, soldier. - Yeah.
Oh.
Ok, their big thing is seasonality, right?
Ok, well, maybe we could work with that.
We could take the fruits of the season, incorporate them,
and then there's Christmas...
we could do a spin on the classics. Christmas pudding with a twist.
Thank God. The queen of cake porn is back in the building.
Jeff?
- Hey. - Hey.
Er, Jeff, I've... I've... been doing some thinking.
- What do you mean? - I...
Is this what I think it means?
Yeah.
Right.
Is this about him?
No! God, no. No.
I wish it were that simple. It's... it's...
it's about me and the fact that I'm a mess and...
I just need to be by myself right now.
Oh, no, you're making a mistake, Siobhan, come on.
Jeff, I'm a lawyer, I'm meant to see the argument.
And I do, I see the argument for you. You're... you're perfect.
I can argue myself out of love. I've done that before.
And let me guess... that's what you're doing now?
No.
I just can't argue myself into being in love.
And is that the verdict?
I'm sorry.
Please, this won't take long.
I wouldn't have come if I hadn't thought...
I am sorry, Vivienne, but this is none of your business.
- So if Katie's sent you... - Katie has no idea I'm here.
She'd murder me if she knew.
It was a long affair. It wasn't just physical.
It was the mental thing that killed me.
I remember finding out they went to concerts together.
He never took me to a concert.
You think you're doing the right thing, turning your back on it.
I did that.
I wasn't being brave, I was being a coward...
avoiding something that I...
didn't want to look at.
I told myself it was for Katie's sake. It wasn't.
Deep down, children always know when you're lying,
and it poisons everything for years afterwards.
Why did Katie do it?
Katie's mistake was in not realising how lonely she was until it was too late.
I can't forgive her.
I am sorry I'm late.
Where's Amy?
Oh, she went off sick after first period.
Didn't she go home?
No. No, no, she's not there.
Gina, phone.
- Where is she? - I don't know.
You're at school with her all day.
Yeah, well, no-one said anything, ok?
Well, how do you know she went off sick?
Isn't she answering?
No.
Mum, is she ok?
Yeah, yeah, sure she's ok.
Ok, come on, let's get in the car. Quick, girls, come on!
- Why? - I don't know, Gina!
- Mark... - Bad moment?
No. Is it Jess? Come in.
No, no, I've got to be quick. I wanted to give you this.
- It's all there. - Mark, you don't have to do this.
Yes, I do. It isn't what you think it is.
Ah, it's not ten grand?
No, it is ten grand... it's just not, you know, the grand gesture.
No pun intended.
And, can I say this now, you don't have to tell Jess that I did it.
I'm just trying to put right some of the mistakes that I've made.
See you.
Amy...?
What are you doing here?
Oh, you're freezing.
How long have you been out here?
Oh, honey!
I've wanted to talk to you for so long.
What about?
Dad.
Mum. Trudi. I don't what to call her any more.
I get angry, I don't know why.
With mum, with... Trudi.
Why?
I feel like she's not telling me the truth.
About what?
About what she's thinking.
About dad, about everything.
I always thought grown-ups told the truth.
They don't.
No.
Sometimes they don't.
She shouted at dad before he died.
You know...
they loved each other very much.
Sometimes that's why people shout at each other.
Amy?
What?
You're not going to want me to do this, but your mum is going to be
worried sick about you, so...
She's going to be worried, so I'm just going to call her
and let her know that you're here, ok?
Hello, you've reached Dominic Montgomery. Please leave a message.
- Hello? - Hey, Alice.
- Siobhan? - How are you?
I'm ok.
Don't you ever, ever scare me like that again!
It was such a selfish thing to do.
- What did you think you were playing at? - Get in the car. Now.
No, I'm walking home on my own.
Have you any idea how worried we've been? Not just me... Gina and Cathy.
I don't care. I don't care!
Would you listen to yourself?! Other people have feelings too.
What do you mean, you don't care?!
Of course she bloody cares, Trudi, she's in tears!
Amy...
people sometimes shout when they love each other.
I mean, look at us, look at me, we're all shouting.
Trudi loves you.
And you love her, don't you?
I'm sorry.
Ok, let's get you home, yeah?
Please, can Katie come?
Sit down. They're watching a DVD.
No, I should... I should go.
Wait.
Katie, I have to know.
Was he leaving me for you?
No.
No, and he never would have.
I would never have let that happen.
Neither would he. He only called me that day...
because of you and Chris.
And I said that I would hear him out.
But it was over.
Whatever "it" had been.
Trudi...
I have made so many mistakes.
But while I was waiting for him on that platform
I realised that there is no such thing as a mistake.
There is an action and a consequence.
And I don't want to be that person.
Not any more.
I betrayed him.
I slept with someone else, and before I could mend it...
he was gone.
And it was too late.
Oh, God. I am not just angry with you, or him.
I am angry with me.
And it's bloody painful.
Trudi, don't be angry with yourself.
It was one mistake,
one blip in a marriage that should've lasted for the rest of your lives.
I can tell you how much he loved you.
More than anyone.
No...
Do you know what I miss? Do you know what I miss the most?
I miss you and him together.
I saw it,
close up.
You had an amazing marriage.
You were soul mates.
That's what matters.
That's what should last.
Jeez, you're early. I know we all want my results,
- but this is kind of keen, isn't it? - Dominic and Alice have broken up.
So why are you standing here? Go after him!
But why didn't he tell me?
Did you tell him you'd broken up with jeffa cake?
No.
Well, then! Look, what are you waiting for?
He won't even have got on his flight yet. Siobhan,
how many signs do you need?
No, I'm taking you to the hospital.
Oh, Simon can take me to the hospital.
- Simon? - Just go!
Good luck!
Good luck.
Katie?
What's all this for?
Thank you... for telling me the truth,
even though you know it drives me nuts.
And thank you...
for being here.
I may stay.
Grow old disgracefully, embarrass my daughter.
- What about Dale? - Dale?
Dale can make his own mind up.
You weren't the only one running away from things.
I think you may get it from someone, genetically.
Reception?
Yes. Ok, I'll send her through.
- Jessica Fraser? - Yeah.
Professor Strawton will see you now.
Dominic!
I just wanted to give you this.
Oh, yeah. Sorry, my, er...
my head's been on another planet.
Yeah, cos I wanted to say, I...
Goodbye.
Well...
Bye, then.
No, Dominic, wait.
There's something I've got to say to you.
Five months ago, when we buried Richard,
we threw flowers into this black hole,
and all I could think of was all the things I've thrown away.
What have you thrown away?
You.
I'll just never forgive myself if I don't tell you, just once, how I feel.
And it's not to change anything, I just...
need you to know the truth.
When Elsa came, it was like my heart cracked open.
Love chooses you, you don't choose love. It's dangerous, it's... risky.
And, I admit, I didn't want to risk my heart.
So I nearly broke it, because...
I wasn't brave enough to face up to love, Dom.
I did...
do... and always will love you.
It hasn't spread.
They think I'm going to be ok.
Come here.
Oh...!
Subtitles by red bee media ltd
corrected by chamallow www.Addic7ed.Com