I love the fall. Leaves turning colors, ducks flying south.
The return of corduroy.
Life cycles reminding us that everything must change.
Here's Lizzie and her little friends--
"Whoever" and "Whatever."
And that... some things never will.
My mom is making me invite the whole class this year.
Losers, too. Hit it.
Kate
Kate will see you at the door
Kate will free you, have some more
Birthday cake and hit the dance floor
It's going to be... off the hizzie.
The Kate, the Kate... The party, the party... Huh!
If they keep this up They're going to see my breakfast... now!
She's turning 14?
Man, impressive.
Kate's got the whole school chanting her name.
Okay, I would not go to this party
if it were the last party on earth.
Last year she gave us cell phones in the goodie bags.
-I am so there. -Ah, me, too.
-Wait, did that include long distance? -Duh.
If you believe
We've got a picture-perfect plan
We've got you fooled
'Cause we only do the best we can
And sometimes we make it
And sometimes we fake it
But we get one step closer each and every day
We'll figure it out on the way.
Lizzie McGuire S02E18 Party Over Here
Mom, why can't you just be reasonable?
I mean, why can't we just talk about it?
Talk away, honey
but you're not going to a party where there's no chaperone.
For the 900th time, there will be a chaperone there.
And for the 900th and first time
Kate's 18-year-old cousin Amy
who plays in a band, doesn't count.
Well, Kate's mom thinks it counts.
Well, Kate's mom and your mom have very different ideas
about what is appropriate.
That's because Kate's mom trusts her.
Elizabeth Brooke Mcguire!
That tone has "grounded" written all over it.
Maintain, McGuire.
Calmly explain to her how important this is to you.
Mom, everybody is going to be there.
Everyone except an appropriate chaperone. And you.
Honey, why are you in such a hurry to grow up?
Can't you just be happy being a kid?
How can I enjoy being a kid
when I can't go to any cool parties?!
Mom! Mom! We're going to be on TV!
Really? Is there a new reality show?
You know, The Real Stories of the Really Clueless?
You know, that was actually very, very clever.
Maybe when I'm a big star you can write for me.
Oh, that'd be really cool except for I wouldn't be able
to go to any of those cool premiere parties.
You know why? Because there won't be a chaperone there.
Once again I'm the worst mother in the world.
Cool, because I've been out being fun dad.
Only, the funniest.
You're looking at the new spokesfamily
for Cardio Punch Sports Drink.
This casting lady in the mall picked us to be in a commercial.
Spokesfamily? Where do we go?
Um, actually, Mom, when they said "spokesfamily,"
what they really meant was "spokesdad" and "spokesMatt."
Oh, they don't need a mom?
Sorry, it's a guy thing.
No, really what should I wear?
Honey, look on the bright side. I get to do it.
No, not you on-camera. You-You forgot to say "I do"
when you saw Cousin Reeree with the video camera.
Did not.
I was... blinded by your beauty.
Sam, you flinched for your driver's license picture.
Look, honey, this is something Matt really wants to do.
I can get over being a little camera shy for one day.
That's why I am the "fun dad."
She started with my full name and ended with,
"Why can't you just enjoy your childhood?"
Fill in the blanks.
Ugh. My mom gave me "I don't agree with Kate's mom
on how to raise children."
"Raise!" Like we're chickens or something!
My mom said it was okay.
What?!
It's depressing, really.
Do my parents think I'm so good
that I can never get into trouble?
Yes.
I can make trouble. I have a dark side.
I can disrespect the common areas.
I can act without regard for the safety of others. Hmm?
Oh! Oh! I'm... I'm so sorry!
Sorry, yet bad.
L-Let me get you a towel.
Miranda, we cannot give up on this.
We have to go to this party.
I mean, everyone is going to be there.
Well, we could go back to them and renegotiate.
Like, minutes at the party, for minutes of extra chores.
Or minutes off the phone.
Or minutes off the computer.
Or minutes in jail!
Why should we have to suffer to
exercise our constitutional rights--
the pursuit of happiness? It's simply un-American.
Well, how 'bout this:
instead of not going to the party, we just... go.
Our parents already said that we couldn't.
We do it anyway. We just don't tell them.
This sounds like it involves a little bit
of lying and deception.
But a whole lot of going to the party.
I'm listening.
Okay, well...
Here we are, Dad-- the doorway to stardom!
Okay, this is not going to be that big a deal.
I'm not going to be on-camera that long.
This is just going to be a fun day
together trying something new.
Something new, like... stardom!
Here, let's just sign in.
On the sign-in sheet to stardom!
Will you stop doing that?
There they are-- the real father and the real little boy
I found in the shoe store.
This is Steve, our director.
-The man who'll direct us to star. -Shh
Hi, Sam McGuire. This is my son, Matt.
-Yo. -Love them.
Have the stunt guy fit them with a harness.
Robyn! Where's my blended?
Did he say "harness"?
The harness to stardom!
-Stop doing that. -Sorry.
I'm really having second, third, and fourth thoughts
about this whole thing.
Lizzie, you can't fall apart at a time like this.
At a time like what?
At a time like the first time that we tell our mothers
that we're going to the mall and we sneak to a party instead?
This seems like a pretty good time to fall apart to me.
They'll never know.
Mall, bus, party, bus mall.
The plan is flawless.
This plan is genius. Sheer genius, I tell you.
What's the plan?
Your plan is, your parents take you to the party
that you're allowed to go to.
Oh, but that's where you're wrong.
See, I told my parents that
I wasn't going to the party tonight.
In fact, they think I'm at Miranda's house.
But I'm not. I'm here. Want to know why?
'Cause I'm bad.
We'll see you at the party, Gordo.
No! You're not getting rid of me that easily
'cause I'm all about the plan tonight.
Want to know why?
Yeah, Gordo you're bad.
Ready, girls? Gordo, you're coming, too?
Oh, well, that's the plan.
Lizzie, can I talk to you for a minute?
She knows. How does she always know?
Um... s-sure, Mom.
Um, I know you really wanted to go to that party
and I'm sorry I had to say no,
but I know you're going to have a good time tonight
at the mall with your friends.
Please buy everybody a big cookie on me.
Thanks, Mom.
Okay, it's official.
I am the worst daughter who ever lived.
But she gives me $10.
I lie to her, and what does she do?
She gives me $10!
Lizzie, can you please save the guilt thing
until after the party?
Trust me-- knowing you it will still be there.
Not for me-- guilt-free Gordo.
You know why? 'Cause I'm bad.
No, Gordo, because...
'cause you're allowed to be here.
Football!
Who are all of these people?!
-Miranda! -Lizzie, hang on!
Help! Gordo!
Ooh, that looks bad.
Help!
Lizzie, hang on. Just go with it.
Give me your hand.
Wait, what is going on here?
Total chaos.
Let's ditch our coats
and see if we can find anyone we know.
Over there.
Wait your turn.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I think that that was our chaperone.
Son, I think I know what the harness is for.
This is the best day of my life.
Listen, Matt, if the wall's too high for you
we don't have to do this.
Too high? It's not high enough!
Oh, yeah, who's your rock climber? Oh, yeah.
Let's run over this.
You scale the wall, grab the Cardio Punch chug and smile.
Repel back down the wall one-handed,
with the bottle label out give me a flip at the end,
touchdown and smile. Yes?
This... can't be safe.
If it isn't, we'll fix it in editing.
Robyn!
I thought the whole school was coming.
Did you guys see anyone you knew?
I don't think so. No one in our homeroom has beards.
Maybe their parents wouldn't let them come either.
Oh, this is bad. All right, new plan.
I say we go back to the mall split a giant cookie,
and call it a night.
I'm there.
Vamonos.
All right, on my count. One, two...
Your seven minutes was up ten minutes ago.
Uh, don't worry, Kate, we were just leaving.
Yeah, h-happy birthday. Thanks for inviting us.
We had a great time.
I can't believe you guys are about to leave
before all the cool people get here.
Ah, well, that's us, big fat losers.
-Yeah. -Bye.
Wait! Uh... we-we're just about to cut the cake.
Cake? T-There's cake!
You-you guys there's cake. Cake, cake.
-You said you wanted chocolate, right? -Right.
Whew. I got strawberry 'cause I like that better.
I'm just glad I remembered what you wanted.
And where are the birthday candles?
I was just told cake.
Nobody said anything about candles.
But it's my birthday.
Oh, it is? Happy birthday.
Uh... I'm not going to lose my cool over some little mistake,
am I? No! Don't eat my cake!
You guys haven't even sung me "Happy Birthday" yet.
Cake? Cake? Cake!
This isn't happening!
You know what? Sh-She's right. I'm glad we didn't leave.
-Oh, don't! Don't! -Harsh.
It's hard to tell through the frosting,
but Kate does look upset.
Get away from me, you snakes!
Nobody deserves that on their birthday.
I'm going to go see if she's okay.
And action! I said, action.
Action. That means move.
I can't move.
Sure you can. Look. I'm in.
I'm out.
I'm in.
I'm out.
I'm in.
Not helping.
Dad, what's wrong?
Bad rope-climbing incident.
What do you mean?
Too high.
Action!
-Dad are you afraid of heights? -Uh-huh.
Then why didn't you say so?
I didn't want to let you down.
People, you're not making me happy.
One more time-- chug and smile.
Dad you didn't have to do this for me.
I know, but I wanted to.
Hey, you, up there. Are you scared or just stupid?
What did you just say?
I wasn't talking to you, kid. I was talking to the 180 pounds
of useless fat hanging next to you.
That's it. Dad... I'll be back.
Hey, buddy. That's the best dad in the world
hanging up there and you aren't even good enough
to point your little cameras at him.
So, listen up. This is how it's going to work.
You're going to stop yelling at my dad
and I'll let you keep your kneecaps!
-Yes? -Yes.
Now, cut him loose get me a blended, and that's a wrap.
Let's hear it for my dad!
Did you get that?
I know what time it is but this is a big thing, Mom.
Mom, they pushed me into my own cake.
They didn't even sing "Happy Birthday."
No, she used my birthday party to invite all of her friends.
Maybe if you were here
some of my friends would have been allowed to come.
Mom, can't you just please come home? Hello?
Mom, you're breaking up. Can you hear me?
Go away!
Are you okay?
Do I look okay?
You look like you could use some help.
Wrong again, McGuire. I don't need your help.
This is going nowhere.
And there's a big cookie at the mall with my name on it.
Okay, whatever. Happy birthday. I'm out.
Uh... Kate... is this the party that you wanted?
I wanted a few friends for movies
but then my mom said I should have a grown-up party
and then she left town.
So now I'm stuck with a hundred of my cousin's closest friends.
Kate, we came to see you.
Not entirely true, but...
Here I am. You must love seeing me like this.
Actually, I do. I like seeing you as a normal person.
You know what? My mom's picking us up at the mall at 10:00.
Why don't you ditch all of this
and come see a movie with a few friends?
-Really? -Sure.
Oh, hey, you guys.
Kate's going to come see a movie with us, okay?
What are we going to see?
Oh, man. Kate Sanders coming with us to the mall
was not part of the plan.
Lizzie, you guys go ahead.
I can't leave my house this way.
Don't do that! Give me that!
I'm positive that helping Kate play keep-away
with the statues wasn't part of the plan.
We cannot leave her like this, guys.
Uh, she hates us. We can leave her.
I totally agree. Want to know why?
'Cause I'm bad.
And this party's worse.
You're right. You know what,
this party needs a mom.
So, I'm going to go call mine.
Uh, what? Uh, Lizzie let's get that big cookie in you quick
'cause you're talking crazy!
No, it's the right thing to do, Miranda.
But we'll be so grounded.
No, after our parents see how mature we've been
through this whole thing they'll be so proud,
we'll be completely off the hook.
That never works. Never.
You always think it's going to, but then it doesn't.
Hello?
Yeah? Okay, you need me?
Okay, I'll be right there.
Kids.
Are you okay?
We're fine, Mom.
I'm glad you called me.
These are the times when I love her so much.
Mom, I know that you said we shouldn't be here.
You were right.
And you were right about the chaperone not being a chaperone.
But I've learned my lesson, so there's no need to punish me.
Oh okay, I'm glad you've still got your sense of humor
'cause you're going to need it during your
long, lonely days of being grounded.
Miranda, Gordo, I'm going to miss seeing you at the house.
Um, actually, Mrs. McGuire I'm allowed to be here.
Oh really? Not after I finish talking to your parents.
That never works either.
Mom, can you take all of this and send it that way?
Oh, I'm just warming up. This is going to be fun.
Then there are times when she really, really scares me.
You ain't seen nothing yet
B-b-baby
You just ain't seen n-n-nothing yet
Here's somethin', here's somethin'
You're gonna f-forget, baby
You know, you know, you know
You just ain't seen nothin' yet
You just ain't seen...
Now, hear this, people.
You don't have to go home
but you have to get the heck out of here!
Excuse me, ma'am. You're kind of, like, stopping the party.
Exactly.
-But... that would, like, stop the party. -Right.
Hm, so the party's going to be over now?
-Right now! -Oh, and you are?
Me? I am your worst nightmare.
I am a mother on a mission
and I hope you think I'm kidding.
Now move, people!
Bye. Good-bye.
Oh, I'll take that. Yeah, thanks.
Buckle up for safety.
Here.
So you want to come home with us, sweetie?
I think I'm okay, now.
Thanks, Mrs. McGuire.
What a way to celebrate your 15th birthday, huh?
-Um, actually, it's my 14th. -Right.
Uh, "Thanks, Lizzie."
I know that you'll deny it even under alien water torture.
Just so we're clear, thanks, Lizzie.
Don't mention it.
Glad that's behind us.
Cake.
So, this is being grounded, huh?
Yeah. It reeks.
I know, I am so bored.
Yeah, well, I have gotten a lot of work done.
Well, it's official. You're no longer bad, Gordo.
Lizzie, come downstairs. Matt and Dad's commercial's on.
I got to go. More joy.
Come on, quick. Here it comes.
Hey, buddy, listen up. That's the best... punch...
in the world hanging up there.
I think that's me.
You aren't even good enough to...
...pop the top on a bottle of that punch.
So listen up. This is how it's going to work.
You're going to stop hogging all the punch
and I'll let you keep your kneecaps! Yes?
I'm glad you're down with it.
Hey, you never said any of that stuff.
Now let's go get some punch!
Cardio Punch--
the drink of spiky-headed, tough kids everywhere.
Thank you, thank you.
That was me.
You're looking at the new spokesfamily
for Cardio Powertime Punch... no...
You're looking at the new spokesfamily
for Cardio Punch Power Drink.
I can't get it. Cardio Punch Sports Drink.
This casting lady in the mall...
There goes the strawberries.
This is going nowhere. And there's a big... whoa...
-And sometimes we make it. -Put 'em down. Put 'em down.
I'm singing our theme song, man.
You look like a stalker.
A stalker.