Wider bike paths mean more bikes, less cars. Everybody wins.
That is perfect.
Okay, I need someone who can move this project over the goal line. Johnson?
Huh?
Strap on your armor and get in there.
huh. And you collected all these seashells?
The big one over there and the small ones in that coffee can?
That's right, Fred. I collected all of them, even the broken ones in that sack.
Dee-lightful!
Well, there you have it. No wonder my show is called "everyday wows."
Mmm. How can you listen to that?
It's called streaming audio.
Since we don't have a Public Radio station in Greenville,
it's the best we can do.
Public Radio?
If it was up to the public, we'd be hearing Howard Stern foxy boxing some lesbians.
ugh.
Ubuntu, where's that squash?
- Someone's thinking about a girl. - huh?
It's true. I like Tanya.
I'm gonna tell her I like her. Maybe build her something... A dirt bike.
Then I'll ask her to the spring formal.
The shortest path to a woman's heart isn't always a straight line.
Your father declared his feelings on our second date,
and it kind of nauseated me.
If you wanna land Tanya, you might need a more sophisticated approach.
She is in model congress, Ubuntu.
Huh. This is troubling.
Don't worry. I know this game inside and out.
I'll help you.
I got passed over for the bike project.
It's so frustrating. Nobody takes me seriously.
Huh.
Maybe you shoulda put on your business leotard.
Honey, just sit down and breathe deep.
I know what will make you feel better.
And for the cost of just one large frozen cappuccino a day
with three shots of espresso and a croissant,
you can support Public Broadcast Radio.
Ahh. Pledge drive.
What? Crashing again?! Oh! Send report! Send report!
No! No! no!
Why do we have to listen to Public Radio on our computer?!
It's barbaric!
Why doesn't Greenville have a Public Radio affiliate?
Because Greenville sucks in ways that defy the laws of god and man.
Someone needs to take charge and do something about that.
And someone will.
- Me. - You?
- Yes.
I am going to bring Public Radio to Greenville,
and no one is going to take it away from me.
Do it, Gerald! Could you imagine?
Public Radio here in Greenville!
To culture!
Agreed!
Great leadership, Gerald.
Yeah, I get it. I get it. You're straight. Now stop touching her.
Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com
Public Radio here in Greenville? Okay, this is big!
We need to get our best person on this right away.
Find Johnson and make sure...
Sir, the best person is standing in front of you
in huaraches and a poncho.
You?
I've already contacted Public Broadcast Radio
and looked into eligibility.
We meet the population requirement
and we have an institution of higher learning.
We do? Yeah, Greenville community college.
Right! Great!
All we need is a $100,000 license fee,
which we can raise through our own pledge drive.
Mugs, tote bags, the whole nine yards.
Public Radio is even sending one of their top fund-raisers to help out.
Gerald, get me Public Radio!
Okay, Ubuntu, there's Tanya.
Let's bag her. She's... Hold on.
Steve. Hey.
Whatever.
- That was weird. - No, that was strategic.
Make the girl think you're not interested.
You need to make yourself a challenge for her,
like Steve is for me.
Seem uninterested. 'kay.
And this stupid dance thing you wanna go to?
You need to make fun of it because you have an edge.
Oh, god.
Not interested in you! Dancing stupid!
I have edge! Whatever!
Can I ask her to the dance now?
I'm finally a professional fund-raiser.
Do you really think I can raise $100,000 tonight?
You once composted a charleston chew. You can do this, gerald!
I've been thinking. You know, anyone can look at art,
but where can you hear art?
How about "picture this" with Helen Goode?
You know, I might just green-light that.
That's how program directors talk.
Everybody, this is Irwin Winslow from Public Radio headquarters.
Public Radio is supported by listeners just like you.
And our research shows that listeners like you see themselves as smart...
Intelligent... And independent thinking.
Try to massage those into each call. That's what i'd like to see.
Let's make it happen, Greenville!
- Well, is your mommy or daddy home? - Oh, I like music, too!
No, I'm not in India. Prove it?
Five dollars?
- Did I mention the tote bags? - Oh.
Nobody is giving us money.
You are cute.
Are you almost finished up with your shift?
Yes, well it sounds like you're smart to keep your cats in separate rooms.
Oh, Ruth, it's been nice chatting, but now I need you to open your check book.
You will?
What's that?
Oh, you don't like to give money over the phone.
Then sit tight, I'm coming over.
Every donation gets us that much closer to our goal.
Naturally, the bigger the donation...
I would like to help.
It's just that my husband always took care of the finances.
And what better way to honor him than to give till it hurts?
10.000$?
Did I write 10 thousand?
I've always had trouble with zeros.
Sorry about that. Here you go.
Everybody, I think it's about time we packed it in.
Because I just got a donation for the whole hundred thousand.
Oh, what? Let me see that. Whoaaa.
Oh, thank God.
You give me a kiss.
Looks like you're gonna be running your own station, Gerald.
My own station.
Ok, stud, let's go blow some minds.
You're gonna do great, honey.
How could you not? With high minded shows that elevate the human spirit?
Like my show, "Picture this".
I'm finally being taken seriously, Helen.
Maybe I should start pronouncing my name "Je-rald".
I know you are worried about Tanya, but this radio thing is just what you needed.
Model congress girls love Public Radio.
- God knows why. - Really?
Totally. Just have mom get you on the air and Tanya will know how tapped in you are.
So that's better than just talking to her?
Huh.
Of course I'll air Fred Ridley's "Everyday wows" every day.
Beyond that, the schedule gets a little daunting, but...
Don't worry. HQ has 95% of your schedule locked,
And you'll be buying shows from Minneapolis, San Francisco and all the other affiliates.
Wow, so for 100.000$
We get all these Aeron chairs and programming?
Exactly... More or less. It's complicated.
But that's why you have HQ to lean on.
All you have to worry about is picking out your best bow tie.
I don't wear bow ties.
HQ likes bow ties.
Attention, One Earth shoppers.
Gerald Goode of Greenville Public Radio is standing 18 feet from register 6.
Gerald!
- You made the big board! - Helen! Gerald!
Come have a cup of joe on me!
Oh, well, I'll have a large half-caff soy(*chiatto*) for here,
One to go for later,
And could you put a bunch of those liquid sugars into a bag please?
A free coffee is the least I can do for the man who brought us Public Radio.
But my coffee was already free.
Do you have some kind of IOU maybe?
So, Gerald, Jenn and I were thining about doing a lesbian talk show
Called (*Selfic*) Traffic, huh, what do you think?
Here's a demo I made playing (*captinent~to~neil~songs~on~the*) African Colombo.
It's ironic, but it kicks ass, too.
Everybody, quiet down, Fred Ridley's on.
Ah, folks, your pal, Fred Ridley, here, an'...
I wanna start things off with a big everyday wow
Welcome to our newest affiliate in Greenville.
- Oh, yeah. - Now heads up, Greenville.
Cause I'll be dropping in for a visit next week.
And I'll be bringing along (*master's~tentorium~J.P.~wanna~make~in~a~course~that~hook~many~strain~brand*).
Deelightful.
Now today I wanna tell you all a little story about a fella
Well, a fella who knows how to sack a proper woodpile.
Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care...
My masses gone away.
I'm not allowed to watch Buckwheat, a comedy genius...
But this is ok?
Explain to me again why this isn't offensive?
Gladly.
Fred Ridley so identifies with the oppressed,
that he can not only say the words "negro spiritual",
He can obviously sing one.
And he's my lead-in.
- Hm, what's your show about? - I describe paintings.
Ok, have you practiced your sign off?
This is Helen Goode. For Public Radio.
Tone it down a notch and it will be perfect. Now break a leg.
My own station.
Gerald, just in time. Who's up for a rum milk latte?
This is beautiful, where did it come from, was it a gift?
Well, technically, everything Public Radio gets is a gift.
But it was (*augmented*) by a new revenue stream from HQ.
Check this out.
A car that says more about you,
than you could possibly ever say yourself.
Europe has a new way of saying 'luxury',
and you have a new way of driving.
Commercials? On Public Radio?
Huh huh, Gerald, you know you cannot run commercials.
That was corporate sponsorship in a 30 second spot.
Ah, trying keep me on my toes, huh?
Well the other HQs keeping an eye on you. In a good way. Not an orwellian way.
Mr. Goode?
Ruth, hello, what can I do for you?
Well...
Oh, if you, listeners could just see this painting...
Picture this.
Tension versus...
Resolution. And with some rising streaks.
Ah, Ubuntu. Why don't you describe his statue to our listeners.
Statue is beautiful.
It makes me feel like anything is possible.
Inspires me to be a better person.
I wanna take statue for a long walk. And pick blueberries.
Statue reminds me of Tanya.
Gerald. I was just (*hitting my stripe*). What's the problem?
It's Ruth. I was so dynamic in my sales pitch,
that she donated more, than she can afford.
Now thanks to me she is losing her house.
Mom. I'm out of Art. Can I talk about cars?
Oh that poor woman. We have to get her money back.
But what's gonna happen with the station? And my show?
We could lose everything.
But it's my responsibility to figure something out.
Aah. This bow tie feels heavier every day.
But that's the price of leadership.
I know what I have to do.
I hear you, Gerald. And my heart goes out to Ruth. Let me see what we can do.
Nah, nothing. I'm afraid that's not possible.
It's always possible to do the right thing.
I was thinking with the different revenue streams you mentioned.
Oh, we can't tap into those for reasons way above both of out heads.
Well, I know Public Radio's finances are a bit bizantine, but
we have to find a way to return Ruth's money.
Gerald! It's gone! The money's gone.
Self claiming.
This will sound bizarre,
but it was almost like
the money was more important to him than anything else.
There's something very wrong.
It... it's not just Ruth's money. It's the other revenue streams.
It's like Irwin is running a casino, not a radio station.
Helen, I think we might be dealing with a rogue agent here.
Oh, my god! What are we gonna do?
Well, I'm the station manager,
so this is what i'm going to do.
I'm going over Irwin's head.
When Fred Ridley gets here, i'll show him the facts...
Only I don't know the facts.
So if you give the HQ a dollar,
and the HQ gives Minneapolis a dollar,
but not the same dollar,
then there's a dollar left over.
I think I'm on to something.
Oh, Bliss. hey.
Pfft. Yeah, exactly. hey.
Look at this poster. Snacks? Punch?
God, these school-sponsored dances are so lame.
The lamest.
Yeah. I think I might go...
To make fun of how crappy it is.
Whatever.
Yes! Yes!
Guess who's meeting Steve at the stupid dance on saturday!
I need you to do my hair.
Listen, next time you order a maine lobster,
don't be surprised if it has a boston accent.
Dee-lightful!
Fred, I have here an honorary associate in arts degree for you.
Um, Fred, there was something I wanted to discuss.
It's about the donor who gave us the $100.000.
I heard about that. Crack a jack work, Gerald.
Unfortunately, it seems she needs that money back.
As I tried to explain to Gerald, there's just no way to pay her back.
But he doesn't understand.
What I do understand is that Public Radio isn't just about money.
But I think Irwin here may have lost sight of that.
Maybe you're right, Gerald.
This is something we can't dwell and reflect upon too much.
So about that degree.
Actually, I figured out a way to give the money back.
Now, I can't claim to understand every detail,
but if you really track, where all the money is going...
Bup! Gerald! I'm gonna stop you right there.
You absolutely right. We're giving that money back to this Ruth because it's the right thing to do.
Well, thank you, Fred. I, I...
Don't waste time thanking me.
I want you to go get that kindly old lady on the phone right now and put this right.
I'd do it myself, but I need to take someone to the woodshed.
You go now.
You always where small-time, Irwin.
I gotta earn.
You gonna have that boyscout banging a drum about
some old widow over a hundred grand.
We get that for one Crumbly Crisp spot.
I am not going back into the marketplace.
They got criteria!
Have you ever had a ratings book thrown at you by a station manager?
Well, I have.
Public Radio owes you a dead of gratitude.
And we wanna show our thanks with a promotion.
To be honest, I think your creative talents are being wasted as a station manager.
Yeah, I never could get a handle on the financial part.
Nothing ever seem to add up.
Well, you just forget about all those numbers, they are Kent's problems now.
That's my kind of problem.
Besides, Gerald, I need you sink your teeth into that bike project.
Really?
And we still need your help at Public Radio on the front line.
Listen it at home. Giving your objective take on the job, we're doing.
Here is your listening journal.
You keep us on our toes now.
I won't let you down.
There she is.
Ubuntu, don't talk to her yet.
Let me lay some (**) first.
I'll tell her that whole 'statue reminds me of Tanya'-thing was you being ironic.
You look... 'Nice'.
Pff. Yeah. 'You too'.
Thanks.
Did you see Mr. Tompson's hair?
I like you.
I heared you on the radio. I'm not scared of you anymore.
Dance with me?
I'd like that.
Son of a...
I like you. Dance with me?
Uh.. Uh, what?
So the whole bowl of fruit is fake?
The apple, the pear, and all those little cherries?
That's right, Fred.
It's all plastic fruit.
Oh, you oughta see this stuff, folks, dee-lightful.
He said dee-lightful again? Drink.
Dee-lightful.
At least they're listening, thanks to you.
And I'm going to make sure people keep listening by maintaing strict quality control.
Super job.
Next I'm gonna share a princely (repay/repast) with the king of railroad (bars/bums).
Even in this economy,
Just about everybody can afford a dandelion stew.