Hey, guys.
Ooh, a grunt and a locker slam.
That can only mean one thing--
somebody's got a book report?
Ugh.
We have to write five pages on The Red Pony.
Yeah, there's a red pony.
It belongs to a little boy it dies and the end.
How are we supposed to write five pages about that?
Double space and use wide margins?
Well, you've got PE next.
You don't have homework in that.
Uh, yeah, we just have to take a shower in front of 200 girls
that do nothing but judge.
Yeah, and that's just plain fun.
You know, I really don't feel like going.
Maybe I'll just tell Coach Kelly I'm sick and get out of it.
Whoa, look who's the rebel girl all of a sudden.
Don't ditch PE.
You love volleyball.
You can smash every serve and
really take out your frustrations.
Yeah, volleyball. That's it.
Hey, guys.
I'm filling in for Coach Kelly for a few weeks.
Instead of volleyball, we are going to learn
the gentle art of... dance.
If you believe
We've got a picture-perfect plan
We've got you fooled
'Cause we only do the best we can
And sometimes we make it
And sometimes we fake it
But we get one step closer each and every day
We'll figure it out on the way.
Lizzie McGuire S02E10 In Miranda, Lizzie Does Not Trust
Now you might find it
a little weird to study dance in PE.
But dance is a very healthful physical activity.
Mr. Dig teaches History.
He teaches English.
He has no business teaching us dance.
Okay, everybody, watch this.
Jazz, jazz, jazz hands.
Cha, cha, cha, leap.
Jazz hands.
You know, for a smart guy
you're wrong, like, 90 percent of the time.
Well, I was right about Vice Principal Kaplan's toupee.
Eww!
Okay, Mr. Gordon.
Wha... me...?
Do exactly what I did.
You will be graded. Go.
I'm just messing with you.
You have to trust your dance partner.
And what better way to build that trust
than catching each other when you fall?
So, pick a partner you trust.
Partner.
Hey, Beth... want to be partners?
Okay.
He picked Beth Ludberg.
Why would he pick her?
Okay, positions, everyone.
My life is in your hands.
And... fall.
Hey, it's great to see you again.
You're looking terrific.
Well, thank you.
So, tell us what have you been up to?
Well, I went to the nursery this morning
and I bought some marigolds.
And I planted them in the yard.
So tell us, what was it like working with the marigolds?
Oh... you have to be really careful of the root ball
'cause otherwise they can die.
So you were saying it was no "bed of roses."
So... any truth to the rumor that you
and Sam McGuire are more than...
shall we say, "just friends"?
Now be totally honest.
Well... we've been married for 15 years.
What's this about?
We're interviewing you.
Lanny got a webcam for his birthday
so we're starting our own talk show on the Internet.
We premiere tonight.
Well, I think that's great.
And I would love to be a guest.
Oh, got our signals crossed.
You see, we're only practicing on you.
You're not really what our target audience is looking for.
I've decided to not get the leotard for dancing.
I'm thin, and I have a big head.
If I put on a pair of white tights
I'll look like a Tootsie Pop with hair.
"Quit staring-- you know you want some."
This sign knows me way too well.
All right.
Hey, I want some.
Maybe I should change my look.
I didn't know you had a look, Gordo.
Maybe I should get a look.
How about this?
Excuse me, ma'am. I'm with the President's security detail.
Please clear the area.
Uh, I don't think so, Gordo.
How about these?
Ciao. I am Aldo.
Come on and ride-a with me on my Vespa.
We'll eat gelati in the moonlight.
Keep trying, Gordo.
Yo, my name is P-Diddy.
How are you ladies doing this fine day?
You know what,
I'm just going to go over there and check the lipsticks, yeah.
Yeah.
You know, flavored lipsticks are getting so out of hand.
Now they have mochaccino.
I'll take a decaf, please.
Thanks, folks. I'll be in Atlantic City till the 23rd...
Uh, Lizzie let's just grab the tights and go
before Gordo over there...
...turns into Tom Cruise.
Don't be in such a rush, Miranda. We just got here.
Excuse me, miss.
Would you mind opening your bag, please?
What? Why?
Just open it, please.
No.
What is going on here?
It's about your friend here stealing lipstick.
Okay, that's crazy 'cause I didn't steal anything.
I saw you knock over the lipstick rack.
And I don't think you put them all back.
Okay, I did not take any of your lipsticks, I...
Okay, that's one of your lipsticks
but I bought it here, like, last week.
Then how come it looks new?
Maybe 'cause I haven't used it yet.
I haven't finished my decaf mochaccino lipstick yet.
Come on, Lizzie, you were with me when I bought it.
I don't think I was.
You were outside getting a pretzel
but we were at the mall together.
Right. I'm going to have to ask you to come with me.
B-But she...
Hey. I suggest you stay out of this
unless you want to come, too.
Go.
Sir... I'm putting these back.
I'm not taking them.
Okay, you look at the camera there and
the monitor shows how many people are watching.
The more dots, the more people.
Okay, we start in a minute.
So go outside over there,
and come in, then sit down and we'll talk about your dad.
Hey, and welcome to Matt After Dinner.
I'm here with my councilman of cool--
the one, the only...
Lanny Onasis, everybody.
Okay, our first guest is Jackson Myers
whose father is the one and only Mike Myers.
Very groovy, baby.
I bet he's got a million interesting stories to tell us
so let's bring him out.
Jackson Myers, everybody.
So, Jackson tell us...
is your dad going to star in another Austin Powers sequel?
Why would he?
Because he's Mike Myers--
the actor who plays Austin Powers?
Uh-uh. He's Mike Myers, the dry cleaner.
They have the same name.
Dry cleaner?
Okay, it's been great having you.
Lanny, we've got 20 minutes to fill.
We're losing audience. We need a guest.
Hey, guys.
I know, Lanny, but he's better than nothing.
Hey, uh, Dad?
Can you please be interviewed?
No problem.
So I see you've brought something interesting to show us.
So what is that crazy stuff?
Uh, it's grease.
I'm going to grease the lawnmower, son.
Are you going to run amok?
Charge all over the neighborhood mowing everything down?
No. No, I'm just going to trim the side yard.
You know, it's getting kind of shaggy. And that's, uh...
that's a difficult job
so, you know, that's what I'm planning on doing.
What? I got something on my face?
Look at the monitor.
What, I got something on my face? Yeah, what?
Son...
I'm so sorry, Dad.
I mean, come on. I'm trying to do lawn mowing and stuff...
What are you doing?
Dad... Dad, we're a hit!
Give me that.
What do you think they'll do to her?
I don't know. Shoplifting's a serious crime.
I'd say somewhere between a $500 fine and,
uh, busting up rocks on a steamy back road in Mississippi.
I like the exercise and being out in the sun
but these dungarees cut me across the hips.
Hello?
I'm home.
That's such a relief.
What'd she say? Did they fine her? How much?
My parents finally came and got me.
They stood up for me.
That's lucky.
Is it going to be all right?
Well, it's not lucky.
They should stand up for me.
Well, yeah, of course. I mean if you didn't do it.
What do you mean, "if" I didn't do it?
Of course I didn't do it. I mean...
You... you do believe me, right?
Um... sure.
You said, "Um, sure."
You didn't say "Sure," you said, "Um, sure."
Y-You don't believe me!
Well...
Is it going to be all right?
Miranda...
you did take all that candy.
And you were at the lipstick rack
and then you just wanted to leave so quickly
and it was in your purse...
And I told you why it was.
Yeah, but, Miranda the security guard said that he saw you.
What am I supposed to believe?
Well, you're supposed to believe me
and you don't.
Thanks for being such a lousy friend.
Gordo, shouldn't you be stretching?
Oh, um... there.
How can you be so casual about this?
Gordo, you're getting ready to go up and do a routine.
Aren't you afraid you'll flunk?
I'm sure it'll be fine.
I wish I could say the same thing about Miranda.
I mean, she hasn't even spoken to me.
Well, Miranda can be a bit unreasonable at times.
How can you say that, Gordo?
I practically accused her of stealing.
Well, yeah, you did kind of hang her out to dry.
How can you say that, Gordo?!
Just because I doubted her for one single second?
I mean, the lipstick was in her purse.
You're right. The evidence was there.
How can you say that, Gordo?!
Miranda is my best friend and
I should know that she doesn't steal.
Whose side do you want me to be on here--
yours or... yours?
I'm sorry.
I know that I let Miranda down
and I didn't mean to.
And now she's calling me a bad friend.
You know, she's letting me down.
Give it time. It'll blow over.
I'm sure everything's going to be cool.
Mr. Dig
I'd like another partner, please.
Uh... You know for a smart guy,
you sure get a lot of stuff wrong.
Yeah, what are you gonna do?
Okay, listen up.
Miss Sanchez feels that she can no longer
work with her partner
so we're going to shuffle the deck a little, okay?
Cassie Pang, you're with Miranda
and Miss McGuire, you're with Ethan Craft.
Miranda wants to play it this way, fine.
I'll fall into Ethan Craft's arms.
Everyone, trust exercise.
This is working out all right.
And... fall.
Whoa. There's a hawk with a mouse out there.
Maybe... this isn't working out so good.
Can't move. Oh, in pain.
Oh, that hurts.
Hey, and welcome to Matt After Dinner.
Now, I know what you're thinking, Lanny
'cause you ask me every night.
What did I have for dinner tonight?
I had three sauerkraut chili dogs and a root beer.
I know you think we're going for the cheap laughs,
Lanny, but look at the green lights.
This stuff sells.
Hey, guys.
Hey, look, it's a surprise guest.
It's Dad.
What you got there, Dad?
Well, son...
I have a box full of feathers
a few dozen whoopie cushions
and some old maple syrup.
I'm working on a project.
Well, let me give you a hand.
Oh, son, no.
Don't take that.
Oh!
Give that back to me, son.
Let me... no...
Son, no! Oh, my gosh! Uh-oh.
Look what you've done now.
Oh, gee whiz.
Oh, my goodness. Uh-oh. Oh boy, oh boy.
Aw, Dad, you and your projects.
I know, son.
I just never learn.
Lanny, you can't walk out.
You and your precious dignity.
You're just jealous you aren't the star.
You'll be sorry. You're missing out on the big time!
Okay, time to... bust a move.
And this time you will be graded.
First up-- David Gordon and Beth Ludberg.
Good luck.
Looking back on it
they might have been smart just to practice that
at least, like...
ooh, once.
And we thank you.
Beth's mom made her take ballet since she was eight.
I knew she'd make me look good.
She's got the footwork-- I've got the flair.
Okay, next.
Miranda's partner, Cassie Pang has whooping cough.
And Ethan Craft
spotted a cloud he thought looked like a donkey
and ran face first into a beehive.
He shan't be joining us today.
So I am forced to reinstate the team of Sanchez and McGuire.
What?!
I'd rather be run over by a herd of elephants.
Okay, I take that back.
All right, since you all didn't rehearse
I'm going to let you improvise.
Let your feelings out.
I'm surprised you'd trust me to be your partner.
Yeah, well, I'm surprised
you'd partner with a lousy friend.
Oh, yeah? Well, a good friend would have stuck up for me.
Oh! Well you're not little miss perfect, okay?
You're always talking about how you sneak into the movies
and how you pretend to be sick during PE.
Oh, yeah?
Well, I don't play sick just
to get out of Larry Tugman's birthday.
Does that make you a thief?
No!
But it doesn't make me a lousy friend either.
Yeah? Well I...!
Ladies.
I don't want to hear any talking.
I want to see some action.
Retreat to neutral corners!
This ought to help things grow back.
But what about these gophers in my pants?
Oh, hey, special guest, Lizzie, my daughter.
Honey, why don't you come over here and say hi to the audience.
Come on over, Lizzie.
I'd love to except for you know,
I have to go sit in the kitchen and watch the chicken defrost.
My sister, folks.
I don't want to say she smells like feet...
but...
Hello?
No one's there.
It must be Lanny.
Oh.
Make it quick, Lanny. I'm on the air.
What? But you worked on that project for two whole days.
Okay, I'll be right over.
Maybe we can fix it.
Okay, you can handle the closing monologue.
I need to go help Lanny.
Wait, what's up?
Well, a couple of his dad's peacocks
ate his history diorama,
and I've got to go help him fix it.
Okay.
Uh, Matt? I thought you were mad at Lanny.
I am.
But he's my friend. He needs me to have his back.
Oh, well, uh, didn't he walk right off your show?
So? My friend needs me.
That's it. Case closed. No questions asked.
That's my boy.
Oh.
It's bad enough when my parents teach me about life
but when my skunkhead little brother
is a better friend to Lanny than I've been to Miranda...
then I've totally hit bottom.
Miranda,
may I speak with you a minute, please?
Sure. What's up?
Oh, let's step in here, please.
I read your report on The Red Pony
and it almost seemed like it was written by a professional.
Really? Hey, thanks.
No, you don't understand.
I don't think that's good.
I'm hoping you didn't just buy
the "Easy-Read Condensed Notes" on The Red Pony
and paraphrase their overview of the novel.
Are you trying to say I copied my report?
I'm saying you took a big shortcut.
No, she didn't.
Miranda is my best friend, and she doesn't lie.
She doesn't cheat, and I know that she doesn't steal.
And I was wrong to think that in the first place.
You know, I totally trust Miranda
and if she says she didn't do something...
I'm going to believe her.
That's it. Case closed. No questions asked.
Thanks.
But I did use the "Easy-Read Notes."
Oh, um... well, then, you two
just go along with whatever you were talking about.
And I'll just quietly bury myself.
It's just... I had a math test that day
and a history paper and a book report.
I just thought if I used the "Easy-Read Notes"
it would just tell me what the story was about.
I want to know what you think about The Red Pony,
not what the people at "Easy-Read" think.
So you want me to do it over?
By tomorrow. Good luck.
I'm sorry, Miranda.
I should have believed you in the first place.
It's okay.
I mean, I know I do stuff that looks kind of bad sometimes.
But you got to know I would never lie to you.
I know.
And I should have known at the mall, too.
Miranda, you're always there for me and from now on
I'm always going to be there for you.
Back at ya. Let's go.
Good catch. And the way to have my back.
It totally looks like, just, a chug-chug...
or whatever it's called. A chip-chug, or... what's it?
A woodchuck. Oh!
I guess he doesn't care what kind of grades she gets...
he gets... she gets.
And, westward.
Oh, my... these are burning my legs.
Ahh!
Thanks, folks. I'll be in Atlantic City till the 23rd...
Nice try.
Maybe I can row-pie... Row-pie?
What is that line?