Welcome to Los Angeles International Airport.
Everybody's flocking to the city of dreams,
hoping to hitch their wagon to a star.
Passport, please. What is the purpose of your visit? - I'm an actor, douche bag.
- I'm a psychic superstar. - I'm a documentary filmmaker.
- I'm here to win prizes, sweet cheeks. - Are you traveling alone?
Uh, no. I've got me mum in here.
What these three men don't realize...
is that fame and fortune are fleeting.
It's stupidity that's eternal.
Welcome to La La Land.
Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com
When you first come to Los Angeles,
anything is possible.
But sooner or later, there comes a day that truly is make-or-break.
For Brendan, Shirley and Gary, today is that day.
Might want to give it five minutes.
Well, I'm not planning on going in.
Gee. Uh, you're out of bug roll as well.
- There's no what? - Bug roll.
Bug roll? Are you talking about toilet tissue or what? - Yes.
There should be several rollof it in there.
Well, I've used the last of the- One standing on the other--
Oh, dear. Well, we'll take care of it. Thank you for letting me know.
Gary, you've had, uh--
a very busy and interesting experience.
And, uh, it was an awful lot for you to absorb.
Well, it's been a long time, you know, and I--
I think it's coming together, you know?
And I just think, like, I really would like to stay,
but that whole, you know, "Harry Met Sally" thing--
You know, men and women can't be friends without getting involved.
And I think it's better for us to stay mates.
- Who are you talking about? - I've got this thing about me...
where women like me, you know?
And I can't--
Oh, stop being so full of yourself!
Who the "frap" gives a damn about you?
You have nothing to offer anybody,
except a sweet personality...
and a love of your mother that you're trying to bring to Hollywood...
to prove something and do something for yourself.
You're gonna-- Mm-hmm? Ruta-- No, but, Ruta--
You've gotta let me go, 'cause you're clippin' my wings.
You know, I just-- I'm gonna go. Gary, stop bullshitting me.
I'm gonna go, and I just want you to stay strong.
Please. Right.
Ruta. God bless.
You have been amazing. Thank you for puttin' up.
Thanks for all the hospitalities and all that. Now you're going to--
You're gonna get out there and see what you can sell this week. Yeah. Yeah.
It's horrible to say good-bye, but I've got--
We won't say good-bye. Just so long.
So long. So long, darlin'.
Bye!
Over the last six weeks in La La Land,
Shirley has narrowly escaped arrest for fraud,
drugging and sexual harassment.
He now realizes he must change his ways.
I need help, Chico. What kind of help do you need, Mr. Shirley?
I need to get rid of the demons.
You need professional help then.
For Shirley, that means enlisting the services...
of world-renowned exorcist Bob Larson.
This is, um, people who are part of our local exorcism team here.
In order to exorcize Shirley,
Bob wants to get to the btom of his issues with the spirit world.
I am curious about your bag.
Is it just personal effects or--
Well, yeah-- I mean, there's not like any crystal balls or anything in it?
Yeah, it's got my tools of my trade.
Can I see?
Voodoo doll. Yeah.
But only for when, you know--
- I barely ever need it, but-- - You barely ever need it?
Let me look at that thing. This is black magic.
This is where Hitler starts.
Right. But people can change.
'Cause I've had Hitler come through to me.
And he, on spirit side, is a much more content individual.
He does not have any of the nastiness.
Because down here he got in with the wrong crowd.
Mmm, just listen to me.
That instead of dealing with your real life, and how messed up it is,
y-you've got this make-believe world, and it's-- it's-- it's the spirits.
And it-- it's like a drug.
No, they're not a drug. They're my friends.
And they come through, and we can have a good drink and a laugh.
I'll have a chat. I got William Shakespeare comes through to me.
Karen Carpenter. I've done songs. John Lennon.
I've actually got these people's new songs,
and no one wants to listen about it,
because they're jealous of the power that I yield.
These spirits are settin' you up, man.
The audiences say to me, "What happened?"
People have said it's the closest they've got to Freddie Mercury in their lives.
Who wants to get close to Freddie Mercury?
They've had a conversation with Freddie Mercury. - Who cares?
They never got to see him when he was alive before the AIDS. He's dead too!
Can you just get rid of the nasty ones-- - No!
- and keep the good ones? - No! No!
And then I can go on stage, and I can still do it. No!
People have come up to me and actually said, "I saw your ce change."
And they've actually seen God on my face. I believe it.
Look at me. - I just sat there, not doing anything.
I've been in a trance, and then God's come on my face. Look at me.
God did not come on your face.
In a final effort to jump-start his acting career,
Gary is investing the last of his money...
in a short film collaboration with Tommy Wiseau,
the infamous director of cult movie The Room.
So we have major four characters, right?
Rick, Christina, Eric and Melissa. Okay?
Right. Long story short,
they-- somebody will be killing someone.
Okay? Oh, mate, I like that! I like that.
And we put the poison on one of the drinks. Poison! I like that.
Yes! Right. You go. Right. Okay.
So we need a tiny little bottle for poison.
What are you doing, getting a shopping list together? Yeah.
What about we spend some money on scratch cards?
The ones where, you know, you pay like a dollar.
You scratch the thing. And then you can win up to, like,
$10,000 if you, like, hit the jackpot.
What if-- What if you lose?
Well, you don't normally lose, do you?
The odds are, if you're gonna buy 200 dollars' worth,
it's likely you're gonna win.
No. We cannot do this. I mean, are you crazy?
Sit down, please, Gary. Sit down.
Excuse me. Come over here.
The answer is no. - Mate, you'll be thanking me when we make a load of money.
I said to you, "No." The answer is no, because I don't believe this bullshit.
But if we make 20 grand? Li - Listen. Listen to me.
I am American filmmaker. I don't believe this shit.
So don't intimidate me, damn it!
Okay. Give me $100, because we need for the stage $300.
If you can count. Okay, now-- Here's 200.
Take it? Scratch cards.
No. This is money. No.
You're married.
Are you married? I thought you said you were married.
Well, well, that's a simple question. - No, I'm not.
- The you don't have children? - I--
Okay.
I carry this around...
in my pocket because I know that when people see that,
they buy into me as a man.
You have taken... a picture of somebody,
standing next to a wife and a little boy,
and superimposed your face over the face of that person.
I can't stand what the press say in the U. K. about me being gay.
Because I'm not gay. And Lady Di came through to everybody and said,
"He's a little bit camp, but he's not gay."
You're-- You're having your sexuality...
validated by a dead woman.
Tommy, this is like--
I know what it's like in your life and whatever,
but it's like a game of chess, innit?
You know what? - You're a prawn, I'm a prawn.
Yeah. And we are doing it, and, like,
the whole industry is like a chess--
That's what I've worked out in the last six weeks. - I just don't care.
Cards was like a producer--
So it's-- So it's no way- For me- this is a chance for me...
to be in a film and actually make it in Hollywood proper.
Study your, uh-- your role.
Yeah. Could I go and photocopy it? Okay. No.
I might-- No, because this is my work.
I don't want you take and disappear in the sky or something.
This is my work. I say no!
Right, mate. Can't we just calm down? 'Cause I want--
No, because I don't like your attitude, man.
It's the same like the scratch cards. How many times you ask me?
Are you crazy or something?
Just listen what I'm saying to you. I'm in charge here.
Hi. Hi.
I'm Jessica. So nice to meet you. How are you?
Hi. This is Gary.
Gary Garner. Jessica. Jessica. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too. That's my assistant.
Okay, let's just sit down there, please.
So, let me give you audition. Let me see how you rehearse.
I want to see the range. Please, don't be too comfortable, sir.
Okay, get your drink shit out from here.
Std by. Rolling, action. You just won $1 million.
Holy sh-- Oh, God!
Your-- Your mother got killed two minutes ago.
Goddamn it.
You became gay.
Give me reaction, man.
Come on. You have experience.
Can you jump? Yeah!
Okay, good. Scene one.
Stand by. Rolling. Action from this moment.
All right. Here are the documents that you asked me to prepare.
I have the bottle of poison right here.
$8 million later, we will be off and away together.
You're either very bright or very stupid. I'm getting too old for this shit.
Oh, just shut up and kiss me. Yeah, shut up and kiss me too.
Makin' some money here, people? Nope. Just getting everything together for the celebration.
Well, celebration about some money.
$52 billion.
Is that all you got? I'm just getting started.
Cut. Very nice.
Brendan has yet to successfully complete any of his documentary projects.
And now the custody battle over his son Jack...
threatens to cut short his attempt to break into American cinema.
I gotta pay that before this date,
or I'm never gonna see bloody Jack.
12,000. Yeah.
Whoa. Twelve fucking thousand.
So where am I gonna get 12 bloody thousand quid from?
Unable to pay his attorneys' fees,
Brendan's only hope of proving his credibility as a father...
is to enlist the support of life coach Wayne Levine.
Hi. Brendan Allen. Hello. How are you?
Yeah, good. I've got my, uh, forms and stuff. Come on in.
Oh. Thanks.
How can I help you to be the man you want to be, Brendan?
Um, well, I-- I-- You know, I--
I tell you what I'd really love is if you could maybe,
uh, write me something- a reference or something like that--
because I've actually got a custody case coming up with my son Jack.
My wife Susie is being a - a... bitch.
I mean, she's annoyed I took his school fee,
uh, because I wanted to get here and try--
But what I don't think she sees is the big picture.
'Cause if I take the money now and do something with it,
he-- he will get back-- Mm-hmm.
fivefold to sixfold. Okay. All right.
You just said a mouthful. So let me just get clear.
So you used money that was set aside for his education,
and you sort of, uh-- you're all-in on this trip.
Yeah. Yeah. On this venture.
She's unhappy about that? She's not happy. She's never happy, to be honest.
She blames me, I think, for even conceiving Jack.
At the time, I was a bit "cokey."
And, you know, coke and rubber don't mix.
Mmm. Okay. So, for me, red flags are coming up all over the place...
around this particular discussion.
Everything you do is teaching Jack about what it means to be a man.
Exactly. I took him to-- see The Who. Do you know The Who?
And I gave him a bag of pills. And we got in there,
and I was backstage, you know, divvying them up between Townshend and--
I meanI know these people. And then I got a bit mashed, forgot he was around.
H-He ate one, and he was--
Wow.
His eyes were like saucers. I'd forgot that he was even with me.
And then, uh, Daltrey was like, "Fucking Jack's here, man."
And she's using this against me now.
Well-- She's twisting it.
I don't think you've got to twist it to use that story against you.
You took your kid. You had drugs on him.
You weren't responsible. You got loaded. He took a pill.
I-- I didn't put a pill in his mouth, all right?
That's my-- That's my p--
Wasn't me that put a pill. For all I know it was Daltrey, or, I don't know.
It wasn't me. - You know what? That's one-- one example.
But why can't she see the good thing, man? I took him to a concert.
When Susan's bloody dead, all right, he's gonna be able to say,
"I saw The Who."
But what will he say about you?
We had a cool time. He'd have done cool things and have cool stories to tell.
You know? People are interested in stories. N-N-No. See--
No, they are. Listen, I'm--
People want to sit across sushi and say, "I got a story."
Pretty superficial, isn't it?
Yeah. But then when he's 13,
and everyone's finding out about pills,
he can be like, "I took one when I was five."
And that's when Susie's gonna be, "I played it all wrong.
I played the whole thing wrong."
I show you a hug the way it works, okay? - Okay.
Get a scratch in. Hey, hey!
Thanks. If you win, give-- give me a shout.
Get a scratch in. I'm feeling kind of lucky.
If you win-- What? Hey, excuse me. What are you doing?
Hey. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Okay. Oi.
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Get a scratch in on there.
No, no. We're not doing this. Get a scratch in.
Did you spend money - production money on this?
Well, you got to speculate to accumulate.
Go out. No one talk to this guy. Did you give it back?
Tommy-- I'm too old for this crap!
Let's just rehearse, just to see it, okay? Yeah.
From the beginning, from the door. All right.
Now you go next to her-- to him.
And you say - What's his name? Mickey.
Thank you. Very nice.
These guys have done a great job. Get the-- Yeah. Get a second drink.
Touch her or something, and grab the one drink from her. Right, grab the drink.
Ladies first. Let's start. Stop. Where's the ticket.
I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything. Okay, okay.
What? You-You get caught right now, right?
Oh, mate. I just made money! Six dollars I made. I don't care.
I tripled our money already. Go. Get out!
All right? Okay! Tommy, I'm going, mate.
- I'm just saying-- - Don't underestimate me, man!
Mate, all I'm doing-- Don't underestimate me! What did I tell you?
Are you stupid? I'm just trying to get a bit of money.
Fuck you, man!
Remember, I'm your friend. I wanna help you.
That's the only thing that's gonna protect you from bad spirits.
Okay. All right.
All right, yes. All right, I get it.
I get it. You can put it down now. I understand.
In the name of Christ, I confront you, foul spirit.
I got a spirit coming! I am God!
You are not God! You are not God! Your king, everybody! I'm God!
You are not him! Yes, I am! I'm God!
You're not God!
God will hold you close. I'm Lady Di!
Get me some oil! Get me some oil. Lady Di what died.
Shirley isn't gay. He's just a tad camp.
Clean the spirit. Lying spirit.
Get him!
Oi, job! All right. Watch his legs. Watch it.
Get down, get down! Watch the legs! Yeah. I'm Frank Sinatra!
Get down! Get this leg. I sang with the Rat Pack.
- Get down and get this leg. - Don't fight it.
You're not Frank Sinatra. You're not anybody. You're a lying spirit!
Cross of Christ, I pierce you.
I pierce you with the cross of Christ.
I'm Martin Luther King.
You've lied to this man! All of you have lied to him. I had a dream.
You lied to him. A dream-- A wet dream of pussy.
I smite you! [ Wheezing ] Horseshit!
Don't you think he knows it's horseshit!
I'm Colonel Sanders! I smite you!
I came up with the chicken! You were never that!
I came up with the recipe!
Jack deserves to have me with him.
I mean, I could get Jack out here, and that would freak Susie right out.
If you could phone Susie and just say, "Bloody"--
Uh, can-- Are you, uh, like a lawyer? Can you-- No. No, no.
All right. You could say-- I'm not.
But you could say you're a lawyer. Throw your weight around a bit. But--
That'll shit her up. Besides writing a letter, which is not something I can do,
and, uh, pretending to be a lawyer...
and calling her and scaring her is not something I can do, what--
Is there anything that you feel you need?
Yeah. A le-- I mean, a letter would be great.
Why would I write such a letter?
- Because you-you've met me. - Yes.
I've met you. I think we're got--
I mean, I've gotta go. Would you - Could you just sign something?
No, that's not gonna happen. - Right. But would you-- can you just sign to say...
that you have acknowledged you... have-- have met me?
Can I see the letter? Can I see the letter? Yeah. Just put--
Can you just sign that, please? Let me take a look at it.
No, no, no. No, just - You don't want me to look at it.
Well, no. Just, if you could just sign the bottom bit.
"I'm writing on behalf of client Brendan Allen...
"and his upcoming court case relating to custody of his son Jack Allen.
"As one of America's greatest men,
"I see a lot of my best qualities in Brendan.
"As a result, I am unable to sit back and allow the miscarriage of justice--
that would take place if Brendan"--
Don't laugh at me, man. Please, don't laugh at me.
Brendan, you're lying to me right in front of me. - Please.
No.
Oh, what you want now, Jabba the Hut?
You look a mess, mate. You got a hole in your trousers.
You're a stinking wreck. You look like a tramp.
You're letting the company down, you bug-eyed freak.
And... you're doing so well with-- Okay, freeze.
Ah, with due respect, you are doing some - too much. Too much. Right.
Yeah! I might-- I might haul off and- and-and nail your limey ass.
Mate, but really--
Look. I'm up here. I-In reality--
Yeah, but, you know. Y-Yeah-- Right. Look at that.
-So I'll admit to your face-- Bang! Bang! Bang! -The way you do this-- remember.
Yeah, you see how fast you'd fall? Okay, guys, calm down.
That's what I would do though. We'll do this later.
Right. Okay. You have a fight scene together.
Stand by. Rolling. Action from this moment.
Hey, what's going on here?
Oh, nothing, mate. We're just having a drink. - Yeah, that's--
Oh, yeah? Do you have something to tell me about this?
Look, Rick, I can't do this anymore. I want a divorce.
I don't think so.
What have you got to do with this? Rick, mate, don't bother.
Come on. Tell me. Don't bother, mate.
'Fess up! You muppet!
Eric! You muppet!
Stop it! We've got to call 911!
- He's a muppet! - Stop it, Eric!
Is that 911? There's been an accident.
Hello? Hello? Ow! Ow!
Can you please stop? I'm on the phone with the police! Just stop! Stop!
We just got it. We just finished .
Eric! Sit down!
- I'm special. - I'm special.
I'm unique. I'm unique.
No more voodoo dolls.
No more voodoo dolls. No more drugging people without them knowing.
I'm gonna love you. And no pretendin' I was tryin' to drug myself.
God bless you. No more goin' around toilets,
sniffin' about, lookin' for bum sex.
No more coming on to guys in dressing rooms--
God be with you. pretending to be James Dean.
I want forgiveness, God. I don't want this.
I'm an absolute fake and a fraud.
Forgive me, God, for all the crap I've done!
Yes. I've really mucked it up big time this time,
and I don't know if anybody's gonna save me. He's gonna save you.
Hallelujah. Amen!
Hallelujah. Was this incredible?
You were in a state of oblivion. Mm-hmm.
This God spirit took over. Mm-hmm.
I held that cross up, and that thing was just terrified. - Oh, yes.
You were out of it. The demons had - had taken you over at that point.
Sure did. And when I held the cross up,
they started backin' off and tryin' to get away from it.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you.
Most of all, we thank God.
Yes. Thank God. God is the one who did this.
Are we actually shooting this, Tommy? We'll be shooting, yeah.
'Cause we're running out of time, mate. Okay.
Now let's just try a little-- little- Go- Go backwards a little bit.
Should I do a blooper? Like where you drop her or something?
And then that can go in the credits in the end.
No. You're not dropping me in a blooper. Right.
Well, it's just that they'll be good, 'cause bloopers-- That's the thing you cut.
Well, I'm not gonna get fuckin' hurt is what I'm saying.
I know, but you gotta sell it over the credits, don't ya? Okay, freeze.
- Come on. - Fuck you. This is my blooper.
Okay, stop this.
What are you gonna put over the credits if there ain't no bloopers?
We don't need that. That's - You need people guffin' up their lines.
Stand by. Rolling. Action.
Move away. Moving away.
My God! Oh!
You'll be all right. Yeah. I'm okay, guys.
- Good. I'll make-- - Oh, no!
What the fucking hell? You all right?
No, Liz-- It's a freeze lock.
I told you this before. Well, look at that. That's your blooper!
You screw up everything, man. I know, but for that one. But now we got a blooper.
Take two. Rolling. Action. Stand by.
You on this scene. Listen. Hey, don't forget about bloopers.
What did we do on the back? Nothing.
Yes, you did something. I didn't!
What's happening here? He's--
This banana, take out. I already told you this, right? He's gonna--
He's gonna use this in his bum! No. No, no, please.
It'll be like 911. Did I tell you? Did I tell you this?
Oh, mate, Tommy. That'll be a great blooper. No. I say no.
We're not doing any bloopers. I don't want you guys to take anything from him.
Because he doesn't have respect for me. I don't want to embarrass him.
But that's the stor-- Listen! Shush your mouth! He does have respect.
I'm American! And have some fucking respect!
Okay? Do not do this anymore!
Tell all the crew out. Everybody out. It's over.
Girls, boys, Robert.
I've taken control of the picture. Right?
I'm not gonna let you down. I'm gonna do you proud.
I'm gonna direct this, and I'm gonna take it home for us.
Could I get a camera in, sound in?
Right. You come in and enter. Mickey, you're there. Let's go.
Desperate for cash,
Brendan reluctantly takes on his first paying gig,
interviewing 1980s TV star Alan Thicke.
If you could give any advice to parents, what would it be?
Uh, I think, try to stay busy...
and do some work that you're - you're proud of,
and that, um, uh, you're-you're happy for your-your-your kids...
and your friends to be able to see is the reward enough.
And other than that, it's your family and your personal life that you live for.
Uh, tell us about your books- your best-selling books.
I had been offered a-a book deal, and uh, it worked.
It sold well, and so they, uh, asked me to do another one,
and I wrote How to Raise Kids Who Won't Hate You.
I'm sorry. I'm just having trouble-- - Hmm?
I'm finding this really difficult. Um-- Oh--
This is just bollocks. This is all bollocks.
I just wanna go home.
I don't know. I think you're a great guy, and you've got it right.
And you've got-- You're just clearly a good dad.
And I'm a shit dad, and I'm missing my son back home.
And-- How many have you got?
Oh, one. Jack.
Hmm. And I don't really see him.
That's the, uh, toughest thing in life, uh, I find,
is anything that goes wrong with your kids.
The dad thing is real important. We know about that, so-- Yeah. Yep.
Yeah. That's real life.
Is this silver, Kiki? Get-- Just get stuff.
Don't worry about filming. Just get stuff. All right. Right.
Come on, Miki.
You guys okay? Yeah.
Anything you need there? Uh-- Um--
Shit!
Well, I had something-- Oh, my God.
Uh, excuse me.
Excuse me. Sorry. We're just-- We're just off. S--
Huh? Kiki?
No, what-what-what are you trying- What is that? Nothing. Nothing.
Eh-- Don't say nothing. It's nothing!
Let's see what you got there.
Oh, Jesus. Kiki!
What? You better drop all this shit right now.
You ready? - I want to see everything in your pockets.
We don't have anything. No, no. Don't-- Come on.
Alan. Come on, man. Come on, man. What do you got there?
What do you got there? What are you doing to me?
I'm fuckin' tellin' ya! The cops are on their way! Don't fuck with me!
Don't call the cops! Man-- Hey, listen. I saw you guys stealin' things from my house.
We were not stealing anything. We were not stealing anything! Unheard of. Bullshit!
What did she have-- What did you have in your purse? Nothing!
She was stealing silverware out of my house. Kiki! Was she really?
Aw, please! This is - Was she really?
Why were you doing that? Why were you doing that?
C-Can we just go, Alan?
No, you can't! I want to see what you've got of my stuff! I've had a long-- Nothing.
I do not have anything. Well, then take your jacket off.
But why? Please don't do this to me. Take your jacket off.
I'll kick the shit outta ya. That's what I'll do to ya.
Why are you kicking the shit out of me, man?
You're gonna be arrested any second now. Why are you doing this to me?
I want to see what you've got. I haven't got anything.
Then take it off and prove it.
You gave me advice as a father to a son, and now I'm taking you--
- I didn't tell you to be a thief! - Come on, Kiki.
This is unheard of.
Gary's journey as an actor is finally beginning.
But for now, he has another wish to fulfill--
to scatter his mother's ashes.
Oh, my God! What is that?
Ow, oh, Jesus. What are you doing?
Sorry. -
After his exorcism, Shirley has found a higher calling.
Let God into your life. - Yeah, I know. I got Jesus. Thanks, brother.
But it remains to be seen how long the effects will last.
Let God into your life.
Let Jesus into your heart. Don't get in my face with that, man.
I will stick that Bible in your ass, homey.
You shall not stick the Bible in my ass, because God will protect me.
I'm a loner, Kiki. I'm a rel.
You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me.
Brendan and Kiki narrowly escaped arrest.
But out of money and out of time,
he's decided to represent himself at his son's custody hearing...
and return to London.
I wish it were a Hollywood ending, Keeks.
But real life, it can't be written.
Now drop me off, put your dirty hoof down...
and don't look back.
I mean, I just want to give a little message to all the people that didn't believe me...
and said I couldn't do it in four to six weeks.
Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com
♪ I blew right in to make the wrongs that I did right ♪
♪ I'm gonna step right out ♪
♪ Make 'em scream Make 'em shout ♪
♪ I'll have it made ♪
♪ I'll have that fame ♪
♪ In just a year They'll know my name ♪