NARRATOR: Previously on One Tree Hill:
You are heading down a dangerous path.
You don't have a job.
Your Honor, she does have a job.
She works for me.
How did we get the funding?
My father and I put up the money because I believe in you.
All day, I've been trying to figure out how I get past the you and Alex thing.
Maybe right now, you need to work on you and I need to work on me.
Bye, Brooke.
HALEY: Hey, Tay.
You remember David, Quinny's ex-husband.
I prefer to call him my new boyfriend.
[WHIRRING]
[WHISTLING]
[BANGING LOUDLY]
[CLATTERING]
NATHAN: Haley, stop.
I was trying to wake up Taylor and David.
You did. Along with the rest of the neighborhood.
How long have you been up?
Since I dreamt that my sister was screwing my other sister's husband.
Ex-husband.
Did you dream that too? Weird. Did I kill them in yours?
No. You played it cool.
You were dreaming. No way to play this cool.
This is the most uncool thing Taylor's ever done.
Morning, kids.
Good morning, slut. You can get your things and go now.
What's wrong? Are you still mad about me and David?
That's so last night.
You like that outfit enough to get buried in or you wanna go put something on?
Why? It's nothing he hasn't seen before.
But if you insist.
Come on. Aren't you gonna say something?
I love you?
JAMIE: Good morning.
Oh, we're late for the video game shoot. We better get going.
- Have a good day, Hales. Love you. - Bye, Mom.
This house is perfect for the movie. How were you able to get it for free?
What can I say? I'm a great producer.
No. It's Lucas' house. He said we could use it.
[CHUCKLES]
How's rehearsal going with Alex Dupré?
I see she and Peter are feeling each other out.
I think it's important for a director and actor to establish boundaries early on.
I know he's a little high maintenance, but the guy's talented.
The clock was ticking and we didn't have much of a budget.
Alex. Alex Dupré, this is my father, Paul Norris.
- It's nice to finally meet you. - Nice to meet you too.
I've seen you in the trades.
I've seen you in the tabloids.
That was the old me.
I shouldn't have to tell you how important this film to Julian and myself.
You don't have to worry. She's here to work.
Yep. I'm a professional.
You're certainly dressed like one.
Oh. Thank you. I picked it since we don't have a wardrobe person.
PETER: Could we go to work, please? - Bye.
I haven't hired a costume designer yet.
Why not?
The person I wanted didn't work out.
VICTORIA: Dare I ask what's in the box?
You're staring at it like someone sent you a severed head.
It's Julian's stuff.
He broke up with me last night.
Oh, honey, I'm sorry, dear.
A head would have been an improvement.
I wanna take it to him, but I just don't think I can see him right now.
And I really don't wanna see Alex.
Even if her head were severed?
Stop talking about severed heads.
Okay, how about I take care of the box?
Okay? We run a multi-million dollar company.
I'm sure we can afford a courier.
There's no need for unnecessary drama.
Oh, before I forget.
Millicent is working with us again. She'll be in this morning.
[SIGHS]
So much for our security deposit.
Sorry about the mess.
I'll clean it when I get back from work.
I'm not worried about the place.
I'm worried about you.
Are you okay?
Not really, but I'm trying.
Have you thought about going back to rehab?
Yeah, I've thought about it.
Well, let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
How long are you staying?
I'm not sure. Maybe a day or two.
But you'll be here when I get home?
Yeah.
That helps.
Come on. You cannot expect me to honestly believe...
...that this thing between the two of you is anything more than some sick joke.
What's so sick about it? David's a great guy.
Quinn couldn't see it. I can. Can't you just be happy for us?
HALEY: What would make me happy is throwing you out a window.
But I'm gonna settle for you using the front door.
That's no way to treat your sister and possible two-time brother-in-law.
Good morning, Haley.
Good morning. Yeah. Don't morning me, David.
You'll have to forgive my sister. She's cranky this morning.
Hopefully she'll be in a better mood tonight.
David and I are cooking dinner for everyone tonight.
No, that's not happening. You can't... That's not happening.
Not tonight. Not ever.
Why not? Quinn already agreed to it.
I'll see you tonight.
David...
...how could you do this to Quinn?
It's no worse than what she did to me.
I told him we slept together.
What?
So now you want me to go to dinner with your ex...
...who wants to kill me...
...and your sister, who's obviously insane?
Yeah. You don't have to come if you don't want to.
I just... I don't get it.
I know David wants to hurt you, but why would your sister go along with it?
You have to know Taylor. When we were kids, she tried stealing my boyfriends.
And now she's after my ex-husband, so I guess she never grew up.
And that doesn't bother you?
A little. But not nearly as much as that does.
See, how cool is your dad?
Not now, of course, but he is gonna look great in this new video game.
When do I get to play?
CLAY: The game won't be ready for a month...
...but we should be able to get you a prototype to play tonight.
- You look good covered in balls. - Now I know how Taylor feels.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Hey. Speaking of, I take it you heard about this dinner tonight?
Yes. I got a very angry text message from my wife. You coming?
No, I think I have some work to catch up on.
And Quinn's okay with that?
If Haley's pissed, I can't imagine how upset Quinn must be.
It's strange, but she seems okay.
She was more upset by Kylie showing up in my pool this morning.
Who is Kylie?
Some chick who took a whore bath in Clay's pool this morning.
My God, Quinn. That's awful.
That must make you wanna rip David's head off and punch Taylor in her face.
- You shouldn't let them get to you. - How are they not getting to you?
David has a right to be upset and Taylor's been a bitch.
So, what do you want me to do?
I don't know, say no when they invite you to dinner.
Clay makes me happy, Haley.
Why shouldn't David be happy?
I mean, I can't imagine that Taylor is the one for him.
If she is, I'll deal with it.
Just like that?
If they wanna throw their relationship in my face, it doesn't bother me.
No. Not right.
If Nathan and I got divorced and he and Taylor showed up playing kissy-face...
...not only would I never see them again, nobody else would either.
So you're saying I should kill them?
- It's a little extreme, don't you think? - No, you're right.
Having dinner with them is so much more sane. See you tonight.
How you holding up today?
Still upset, I see.
"Clothes over Psychos" coming this fall to prisons everywhere.
MILLIE: Hi, Brooke.
Alexander Coyne.
Millicent Huxtable. Nice to meet you.
Do you need help with anything?
Just ask Victoria.
You work for her.
Wow, but you're a mean boss. Like an evil Disney character...
...who feed her servants porridge and pays them in buttons.
Lauren. Hi. What are you doing here?
Hey, I just talked to Antwon. He said you were back in town.
Oh, looks like you had one hell of a party. Sorry I missed it.
Yeah, I missed it too.
But at least I get to clean it.
You want some help?
We can pretend we're CSI and recreate what happened.
I don't think I wanna know.
Oh, come on. It'll be fun.
- First one who finds the couch wins. - All right.
[CHUCKLES]
Can Chuck come over and play the new game?
Of course. You two are friends again?
Yeah. We homies.
See? Sometimes friends, they fight, get mad at each other...
...but then they make up.
Like Mom, Aunt Quinn and Aunt Taylor?
Exactly. They're mad at each other now, but eventually, it'll blow over.
[CLATTERING]
Hey, what's going on?
Well, let's see Taylor try and cook dinner with no pots and pans.
[CHUCKLES]
You and Chuck play upstairs tonight.
I can't find Alex. Have you seen her?
Have you checked your hand? It's usually on her ass.
- What do you need her for? - I wanna put my hand on her ass.
Why don't you just leave her alone and let her act?
What's the point of being with Alex if I don't sleep with her?
The point is that's she's a great actress who wrote an amazing script.
Sure. But it doesn't hurt that she's gone down more times than the sun.
If you see her, tell her I'm in my trailer.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Brooke thought you might want your stuff back.
Sorry, man.
I don't appreciate you sending your boy toy to deliver my stuff.
Well, I don't appreciate the dumping you delivered, so I guess we're even.
You broke up with me when you left. I had the nerve to call it what it was.
I didn't need to send an Alex to do it for me.
I just needed some space.
Yeah. Well, you got it.
CLAY: Hey there.
Oh, it's me by the way. Quinn. Just in case you're wondering.
You never know who's gonna stop by for a swim, right?
I'm sorry about this morning, Quinn.
I didn't know she was coming over and it won't happen again.
Just her, or all the others too?
I don't know who you think I am.
I know exactly who you are.
Maybe who I used to be.
It's okay. It's only been a couple of months.
I can't expect you to be a different person.
No. But you can expect me to be the type of guy that you can count on.
I'm coming with you tonight.
Really?
Yeah.
Wow, I didn't see that one coming.
You know what else you didn't see coming?
No. No! Stop!
[LAUGHING]
What are you doing?
I'm spoiling my appetite.
Haley, if you're so against this dinner, then why did you agree to it?
It's a bad idea.
Of course it's a bad idea. It's a terrible idea.
If Quinn and Taylor say I should be fine, I'll be fine.
- You seem fine. - Oh, I am.
I'll sit at dinner like the little angel and say:
"Oh, that's so nice, Taylor. Taylor, that's a really funny story.
Would you please pass the potatoes?"
Only there won't be any potatoes.
Hey, Brooke. What's up?
Hi.
I was just feeling a little lost...
...so I thought I'd come see the most stable couple I know.
The suspect started here...
...but he couldn't hold his liquor so he stashed the wounded soldier...
...made a dash for the bathroom.
How would you know that?
Splatter pattern.
It looks like he projectiled from over there.
- That is really gross. - Yeah.
You can clean that up.
So are you here for good? Or is this just a visit?
I'm not sure. I only left because Millie and I were having problems.
I thought it'd do me some good. Out of sight, out of mind.
Did it work?
No.
She was just out of sight.
I'll clean the vomit.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
That makes me sick. Taylor is awful. I thought Alex was a bitch.
HALEY: Yeah. I know, right?
Don't worry about Alex. Julian loves you.
He stayed in Tree Hill to make his movie.
He made it very clear today he does not wanna see me anymore.
He is probably just upset.
You guys are way too good together not to make it.
Just give it some time.
Okay. Fine.
Don't worry about this dinner. It's gonna be over before you know it.
Nathan's betting we don't make it through.
He said I'm gonna attack Taylor before salad.
Can you blame him?
You've been arrested more times than anyone I know, Jailey.
I hate my name.
[CHUCKLES]
BROOKE: Hmm.
Let the wild rumpus start.
- Thanks, Hales. - Yeah.
BROOKE: Lt'll be okay.
Enjoy your last supper, Judas.
If you're gonna act like a porn star, the least you can do is take your clothes off.
Oh, hold on. Okay, Alex, come here.
We're in the middle of rehearsal here.
- Are you okay? - No.
He's hitting on me. When I wouldn't say hello to his little friend...
...he got mad and said I wasn't right for the part.
- I think he's trying to make me quit. - I'll take care of it. Just do your best.
- Could you do me a favor, Peter? - I'm not big on favors.
Then I'll make it an order. Take it easy on Alex.
Maybe you could give her some direction instead of just yelling at her.
Whatever you say, boss.
Let's take it from the top.
Chuck's here, buddy.
So where's this brand-new game that's not even out yet?
Right here. It's really cool.
We'll see. I get to be your dad.
Nice to have you back, Chuck.
Whatever.
- Not using the good silverware? - Good silverware is for good people.
Lucky I'm not making them eat off the floor.
Are you gonna be civil tonight?
Just try, Haley, please. It's only one night.
Look, we've weathered Dan's crap for years. This should be easy.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Got it.
You must be Quinn's boyfriend.
And you must be her crazy sister.
I'm not crazy.
I love him.
He's all I ever dream about and I don't care if anybody else gets that.
So I'm going back to him.
That's awful, just awful.
Can't you do anything right?
Obviously not. Cut deeper next time.
How was that for direction?
When he comes to, tell him he's fired.
Okay, let's get this over with.
Can we say grace first?
You're religious now?
Well, I have been calling out God's name a lot lately.
[LAUGHS]
TAYLOR: Thank you, God, for my wonderful family...
...for the food that we're about to receive.
And for David.
His chest, strong arms...
...home theater...
Oh, she does love the home theater.
- Amen. - Amen.
Amen.
[FOOTSTEPS]
How's your hand?
Better than his head.
Thanks for sticking up for me.
You've had to do that a lot lately.
I'm pretty sure nobody thinks I can do this movie.
Since when do you give a crap about what anybody else thinks?
It's just...
What if I screw up?
You won't.
Have some faith in yourself. I do.
I won't let you down.
I know.
What was I saying?
You said, "Watch this."
QUINN: So I think we're all curious.
How exactly did you two get together?
Glad you asked.
It was just another boring day at the gym...
...when, who should accidentally walk into my stripper aerobics class?
- David? - Oh.
Quinny's got herself a smart one.
Yes, David.
He was so embarrassed to leave, he stayed the entire class.
And it was quite a workout.
I gave him a private session later that night.
And the rest, as they say, is sex.
I'm really happy you two found each other.
- Lf nobody else is gonna say it, I will. - Please don't, Haley.
Taylor, at any point did it occur to you:
"Hooking up with my sister's ex-husband...
...that might be kind of insensitive and whorish"?
- Funny, no. - David, you and Quinn just got divorced.
How can you sleep with someone so soon? Especially our sister.
You wanna talk insensitive and whorish?
Quinn had sex with this bozo when we were still married.
What?
Actually, uh...
...we've never had sex.
I just told you that we did.
- Yes, Nate, I would love another beer. - Good idea.
Boy, can you clear a room?
- David. - How could you lie to me about that?
Because you weren't letting go.
I needed you to move on and the only way you'd do it if you hated me.
Well, mission accomplished.
I do hate you.
- David, listen to me. - Say what you want about Taylor.
At least she's been honest with me.
Man, I thought contract negotiations were tense.
It is insane in that room.
And David's bigger than I remember.
[CHUCKLES]
So you really haven't slept with her?
Shut up, man.
- I like her. - I can tell.
You came here instead of hiding out somewhere.
Yeah, I thought I owed her that much. Especially after the whole Kylie thing.
Hey, I don't suppose that we could just hide in here for a while and not go back.
- Probably not. - Ah.
You're the one who added falling in love with Quinn to my contract.
Probably you should have added sex to that too, huh?
Why did you send Alexander to drop off Julian's stuff?
He's really upset.
What happened to, "no need for unnecessary drama"?
Well, that drama was very necessary, dear.
To show you he had feelings for you. Whatever you do with that is up to you.
- Mother. - All right. Enough said.
I'll keep out of it.
Now, on to other business.
Millicent, you're shutting her out.
What do you care?
Well, I've never been a fan of Millicent, but she was always there for you.
She believed in you when your mother didn't.
And now she needs someone to believe in her.
More importantly, she needs a friend.
No, she doesn't. She has you.
I am not the friend type.
Now I know who Clay reminds me of.
Who was that guy that you dated freshman year?
Dan Thompson.
Whatever happened to him?
You told him you'd sleep with him if he broke up with me. So he did.
And then you did.
That's right. I'm the sister who actually sleeps with guys.
Do they give you a medal for that? Or just a shot?
We have cupcakes for dessert in case anybody wants some.
I bought them for Jamie, but Taylor doesn't have a problem taking stuff.
I wish I could be like you, Haley. Just eat whatever I want and get fat.
- Your lip is about to get fat. - That's enough. I can't take this.
If anybody needs me, I'll be upstairs with the kids having a more mature conversation.
Your dad sucks.
- Excuse me? - Chuck says your character isn't good.
I said he sucks.
And he hasn't even made one basket yet.
Well, I'm sure my character is fine.
[CROWD SHOUTING OVER TV]
Why am I crying?
Because you got dunked on three times and then a fan threw a soda at you.
[CHUCK LAUGHS]
I thought you were supposed to be good.
I was.
I am.
Give me this.
[CROWD CHEERING OVER TV]
[GRUNTS]
I heard you fired Peter.
Yeah, I haven't had a great day.
I also heard you knocked him out.
His day was worse.
You seem to be moving backwards as a producer.
We start filming in a week.
You have no costume designer, you knocked out my director.
In fact, all you do have is an unreliable, uninsurable actress.
We've both invested a lot of money in this movie.
Find a way to fix it.
[VIDEO GAME PLAYING]
Hey, why couldn't I do that?
I guess only a Scott can play a Scott. Oh.
- Oh. JAMIE: Come on, come on, come on.
Boom. Game.
Eat that, Chuck. Who sucks now?
- You do. NATHAN AND JAMIE: Uhn!
NATHAN: Whoo!
[NATHAN AND JAMIE GRUNT]
NATHAN: Yeah.
When you're done with your mature conversation...
...can I talk to you for a second?
Will you talk to David?
Will you help him realize that what he's doing is wrong? Please. Please.
Okay, yes. I'll be right down.
- Okay. Thank you. - I'll be down in a sec.
All right, guys. I gotta head back down.
Everyone's still fighting?
Afraid so.
Dude, your family is lame.
[CROWD CHEERING OVER TV]
CLAY: Hey, you.
I shouldn't have lied to David.
Quinn, don't beat yourself up.
Look, I think everyone has done things in their pasts they regret.
I know I have...
...he said about Kylie.
It makes it hard when our pasts are swimming in our pools...
...and cooking us dinner.
I know.
What's up?
[CHUCKLES]
What? What's so funny?
Just tell me you know how messed up this is.
I was just trying to show Quinn...
Yes. It's messed up.
Okay. That's all I wanted to hear.
So you're not mad?
Well, I can't say I totally support what you're doing...
...but I also didn't like the way Quinn handled things, so...
Thanks.
I gotta say that you are handling this way better than I would have.
It helps that you're here with me.
Thank you.
I'm happy to be here.
But I'm also happy to leave.
- I'm just saying... - Yeah.
Anytime.
So are you really into Taylor or was this all just to get back at Quinn?
We're actually having fun together.
She's the first person who's made me smile in longer than I can remember.
Well, that's good.
Make sure you like her for the right reasons...
...and not because she reminds you of her sister.
- So we're cool? - Yeah.
But if Haley asks, I yelled at you and you're sorry.
I am.
MOUTH: The place looks great. Thank you.
Yeah, just don't ever look under the third cushion.
There are bad things under there.
Oh, how lame is it that I actually had fun cleaning?
Can you tell I'm starved for company?
I know how you feel.
I don't know anyone in L.A. Besides Skills...
...and I barely see him because he's so busy.
Being alone sucks.
Skills misses you. You know that, right?
I know.
It's just...
Being alone sucks.
Yeah.
[JULIAN CLEARS THROAT]
I'm sorry about this morning.
I'm sorry too.
I should have brought the box to you myself.
But I just thought it would be too hard to see you.
That makes what I wanna ask difficult.
The movie shoots in a week and we don't have a costume designer.
And we don't because I was planning on asking you when you got back.
Which is why I'm asking you now.
We just broke up.
I know. Good timing, huh?
[JULIAN SIGHS]
But you're the only one I trust.
I need the best for this movie.
I would love to help you but I don't know if I can do that.
Just think about it, okay?
You don't even have to look at me if you don't want to.
Okay. I'll think about it.
Thanks.
DAVID: Haley.
I'm sorry, we were wrong to come here.
Thank you. That means a lot, David.
Don't apologize. We haven't done anything wrong.
QUINN: You know, maybe David hasn't...
...but you have been a problem your whole life, Taylor.
When Haley got her first period, you tried to convince her she was dying.
You told crazy Uncle Frank that I had a crush on him.
Oh, and in high school, you had sex in mom's car and told her it was me.
Well, to be fair, it was with your ex-boyfriend.
Now you're sleeping with David.
Why are you mad about going after Quinn's leftovers? You went after mine.
I want you to admit that what you're doing is wrong.
- No. Say you're happy for me. - Taylor, I am so sick of...
Taylor, you're such a bitch to everybody your whole life!
- Haley. HALEY: Taylor...
- Give us your blessing. QUINN: Get off of her. Aah!
Hey.
[ALL GRUNTING AND YELLING]
Dude, I take it back. Your family is cool.
I got 5 bucks on my mom.
Oh, yeah.
If Nathan hadn't stopped the fight, I'd have one less Christmas card to send.
I wouldn't get another Christmas card of Jamie dressed as an elf?
- Whatever would I do? - Enough already. Just stop.
Just stop, please.
Did you get what you wanted?
Are you satisfied now?
Nightly.
Just promise me you won't hurt David.
Like you did?
Yeah.
He's been through enough.
He doesn't need you pretending to like him to get to me.
Who's pretending? I do like him.
Fine.
Fine. Fine. No. No, it's not fine. It's not fine.
What is wrong with you two?
I'm happy. Quinn's happy. What do you want?
I want you to admit that you're a bitch.
That's fair.
Fine. I'm a bitch.
Fine.
What's going on?
I don't know. They're not trying to kill each other anymore.
That's good, right?
If those three can work through their differences, then maybe...
Not a chance.
Millie.
You holding up okay?
I'm getting there.
Marvin came back last night.
That's great.
It must be hard to see him after everything that's happened.
It is.
[VOICE BREAKING] But it was harder not seeing him.
Millie?
Can you help me with this?
Sure.
Thanks.
You leaving?
I never should have come.
I'm sorry I lied to you.
I did it because I wanted you to be happy.
Are you happy?
I'm getting there.
Are you happy?
I am.
David...
...this is yours.
Just maybe don't give it to Taylor.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I'll be okay.
Yeah.
[DOOR CLOSES]
You didn't have to do all this.
You shouldn't be living this way.
So are you leaving soon?
No. I think I'm gonna stay for a while.
Really?
Why?
Because you shouldn't be alone.
BROOKE: You really think I'm the best?
Of course you are.
So let me get this straight.
I'm better than everybody else on the planet who could possibly do this job?
- That's right. - Hmm.
Well, I guess if I am the best and you need the best...
...then I have to do it.
It wouldn't be fair otherwise.
When do I start?
As soon as I find a director.
You don't have a director?
Did you hire anyone for this movie?
The last guy didn't work out.
Huh.
What a shame.
Too bad you don't know anyone who's always wanted to direct...
...who knows the movie really well.
I'm thinking someone who's name rhymes with Schmulian.
[CHUCKLES]
You know anyone like that?
Hmm. I don't think my dad would go for that.
You know, I've never directed before.
Make him go for it.
Tell him you hired the best costume designer on the planet...
...and she'll only work with you if you direct.
Because P.S., that's now the deal.
Have your people call my people.
[CHUCKLES]
QUINN: Another blast from your past?
Well, I had the locks changed today.
Thanks for sticking through dinner. I know it was a pretty miserable time.
I kind of actually enjoyed it.
- Keys to your house, sir. - Thank you very much.
Now you will be the only person with a key to my place.
You and the maid, that is.
You don't have to do this.
Yeah, but I wanted to do something to show you how important you are to me.
I've said it, but you have proof in case you ever forget.
I was just lucky I was able to find a locksmith on such short notice.
You're about to get even luckier.
Finally. Can we tell everyone at the next dinner?
Uh-huh.
Come on.
Thank you, Jessica.
I made a list of directors who won't mind working with a suicidal actress...
...and psychotic producer for minimal pay.
I wanna direct.
I know this movie, I know how to deal with Alex...
...and I got you to keep me on track.
What do you think?
You were at the top of the list.
We have less than a week before we roll. Better get to work.
Yes, sir.
I cannot wait to get into bed.
To forget about this awful, awful day.
Why? It was a good day.
What was good about it?
Well, of all the crazy drama today, none of it was ours.
There are no psycho women stalking me or my family.
There are no contract problems. There's no Dan.
I'd take a million days like today.
Yeah, I guess you're right. It was a good day.
[SIGHS]
[LAUGHS]
What?
Your...
Your family's crazy.
Whatever. What time does Scott-free come on?
Oh, nice.
[NATHAN CHUCKLES]
[ENGLISH - US - SDH]