Ross! You don't know what they're doing to me.
The whole princess-pauper thing.
It's all very fairytale, but these things don't end happily.
Ross kept saying, 'You don't know what they're doing to me.'
(SIGHS) Was the hourglass received safely?
It was not. We believe it's on college premises,
but we have yet to locate it.
Dorian - a word. It's about the statue.
I know you boys think it's your personal plaything,
but just for today, no funny business.
Where is it? Where's what?
Don't you piss about with me. The statue.
We can't afford another one of your funny turns.
One more word, and they'll expel you.
So what? What'll I do without you?
(GASPS) It's not safe.
We've got a jumper.
So! What's the verdict?
I think it's loads of photos of a guy I didn't really like.
Bearing grudges against a dead guy. Really cool, Theo.
Oh - no no no no!
It's chronological order. Childhood - school - Trinity.
What the hell is this?
You didn't even know him! What are you doing?
What right have you to do this shit? Sorry.
You didn't even know him.
Everyone's so down today. It's weird.
I mean - smile!
It costs nothing!
Everyone - there's no reason to be sad!
Smile!
Eh? Angus...
Haven't you heard?
Ross...is dead.
Who's Ross?
No idea.
Sad, though, isn't it?
Way sad.
Life...just ends.
Unless you're a Hindu. You ARE a Hindu.
Yeah, I am!
Maybe it's not so bad, then.
Ross was a...delicate and...beautiful soul.
After our parents died, we didn't speak often.
Thank you.
It was very kind of you to let us arrange the funeral.
The least the college could do, given the circumstances.
Circumstances? I saw what Trinity did to Ross.
Every morning, out on the river; every day at the gym being bawled at.
The rowing programme is closely monitored.
We have a qualified medic assigned to the task.
Oh! Well, in that case, good job.
Ross has never looked better,
apart from the fact that he's dead.
I know this place.
It's so cold, so academic,
so obsessed with the next exam, the next regatta.
Shame on you. Shame...on...you.
I want £100,000, or I'm taking this story to the press.
The press? I'll expect your answer today.
Well... he's got nothing concrete.
He has a six-foot rower plunging from a tower.
I don't think the press need much more for a story. Hm.
Who runs the rowing programme? An ex-medic turned to research.
Very solitary. Speaks with rowers, and that's about it. Dr Cooper.
Linus? Linus, are you all right?
Yes. I really thought this one might make it.
Behind the screen.
We shouldn't be seen together today.
Am I interrupting something? No. I was talking to myself.
First sign of madness. Not always, though.
With Uncle Bertrand, it was raping the stable boy.
Any news on the necklace?
I have personally searched the common room on my knees,
and ruined a perfectly fine pair of velvet trousers.
But you haven't found it. No. It's gone. Disappeared.
Poor you.
I'm sure it was ever so important.
Very well. I want you to resign as president of the Dandelion Club.
Excuse me?
As the club's senior treasurer,
I need a president that I can trust.
In view of what's happened, you don't really fit the bill.
You can resign of your own volition, or I can force you.
The latter will be more embarrassing.
Now, Edmund,
I think we're getting silly.
I remember when I first met you.
You were four years old,
still clinging to Nanny,
sucking your thumb, wetting your pants.
I tolerated you swanning around,
protected you when you stepped out of line.
I made you president for your father's sake,
even though I knew you weren't a fifth of the man he was.
And after all that, you couldn't grant me one single polite favour.
I need that fucking necklace!
You're an old family friend, and you've done me favours in the past.
But sometimes,
you get above yourself.
God give me strength.
What are we going to do without the hourglass?
Ross came to see you just before he died?
I'm not surprised you're feeling involved.
It's just weird, him kneeling there.
Sorry. Ignore me.
Change the subject.
So were you off drinking with Rosalind last night?
Me? No, no. She was out for drinks with her friends.
I saw her afterwards.
So you haven't met her friends, and she hasn't met yours.
Well, it would be easier introducing her to my friends
if one of them wasn't running against her for student rep.
So are you boyfriend and girlfriend now?
Yeah! Well...
I mean, it has been two weeks. I mean, we haven't had The Chat...
I think someone doesn't know where he stands.
I know where I stand. - Oo! Doesn't sound like it.
Sounds like you're standing somewhere but you don't know where.
All right. So suddenly you two
are experts on where I think I stand?
Oh, it doesn't matter! OK, OK. Look, look.
I know where I stand.
Stop worrying about me and start worrying about where YOU stand,
because I know where I stand.
You need to...
..fix your carpet.
Ross was on his knees when I opened the door.
Now why? You'd have to want to put something under it.
But the carpet was loose! What?
Wow.
'Look under the blades.'
Raj! Fifteen hundred...
Hey, that's Vigor, from our class.
Who's that girl he's hugging?
She's got a fit back. BOTH: Wow.
Touchdown!
He's touching her! He's actually touching her
and she's not even worried about it!
Grief! It brings people together.
Yeah.
Sexy together.
Warden!
I was just on my way to your office.
I'm really sorry, Charlotte, but the student rep will have to wait.
Today really isn't a good day. No - it's about Ross.
I just found this under my carpet.
I think Ross might have tried to post it under my door,
the night he died. 'Look under the blades.'
I thought it might be the location of a suicide note,
or something Ross wanted us to see.
I'm very glad you came to me.
I completely understand your concern.
But anybody could have written that, and even if Ross did write it,
what does it mean? Well, I don't know, but -
Listen. Things are very sensitive at the moment.
The last thing we need is a lot of fuss over a note
which Ross may or may not have written.
But - Please promise me,
that you won't go digging around in this today.
I promise. Good.
You're a fine boy, Ross. A strong, healthy boy.
And I'm going to look after you...
..so don't you worry.
Everything's going to be fine.
Hello?
Come in.
Hello! Hi.
Angela Donne.
Yes. Yes, the new warden.
Good to meet you, yes.
I'm sorry we haven't met formally. And about the mess.
I-I don't get visitors, really, so...
Ross Bonham's brother is in college, causing a bit of a stink.
He's got the press involved.
Apparently we don't look after our rowers properly.
I, I monitor the rowers' fitness constantly.
Ross was in prime physical state.
I'm going to need his medical records, if that's all right.
Actually, that's a bit difficult. They're confidential.
The boy's dead.
There's no confidentiality to breach.
And I need to know, by the end of the day, for sure,
that you have done nothing wrong, for all our sakes.
Will you hand over the records, or are we going to fall out?
Of course.
Rosalind, can I ask you a question? Sure.
Obviously we're having a great time and everything,
but I had a stupid thought today.
I realise we haven't really... you know, had the Chat.
Oh. The Chat.
So... So what?
Why are we boyfriend and girlfriend?
Do you think we are? Yeah.
Well, then.
That's nice for you.
Come on.
No no no no no.
I am president of the Dandelion Club. That is a polyester shirt.
Stand at a distance, spod.
It's my only clean one. For the funeral.
I don't see you making much effort.
I'm wearing black underwear. Silk.
Shouldn't you be finishing my course work?
I haven't been paid. The cheque bounced.
It bounced! But the essay's in next week.
Today, actually. 5,000 words.
You're not getting one syllable until you cough up.
Look, that money comes from the club account.
There's obviously been some mistake.
Let me have it on credit.
A favour. A favour?
I take your money. That doesn't mean I like you.
I always thought we were friends.
Really?
No. I think you're hideous.
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
What's going on? Shut up!
SHUT UP. What's the matter?
The Dandelion Club account, sir. It's been frozen.
Frozen?
So 18 months ago, Ross contracted some form of glandular fever.
Why didn't you send him to another doctor?
A rower is like a machine.
If a part's broken, you have to take care not to mess anything else up.
By dealing with it myself,
I can manage muscle wastage, cardio fitness...
Still, you haven't practised medicine for eleven years.
I, I, I'm sorry. Am I under inquiry here?
Of course not. I think you should know,
before I came to Trinity,
I was the youngest consultant ever in my hospital.
Of my research since, I'm particularly proud...
..of this book.
'Glandular Fever: Causes and Management.'
It's considered the set text on the subject.
Good. Well, everything else seems to be in check.
I just wanted to see everything was above board, you understand.
I'm sorry, but all this has been very difficult for me.
I don't see many people, as I said,
and...I felt very close to Ross.
He was a good boy.
Such a good boy...
There, there.
Can I come in?
I'm sorry about this morning, putting up those photos.
It really wasn't meant to offend anyone.
You were close to Ross, weren't you?
We were lovers.
Of course you didn't know that because you didn't know him.
I think Ross might have written me a note.
He posted a note to you?
This is his writing.
Did Ross ever mention anything to you about...blades?
Oars. Rowers call oars blades.
Well, is there some particular oar or oars, Ross would have meant?
He was awarded that at Henley.
Those are what he was proudest of. Do you think I could...
Oh...
Nothing.
Thanks.
I'm sorry for interrupting.
Were there any other oars Ross used to mention especially?
I'm sorry.
I can't help you.
Dr M! Ah. The prodigal son.
Why is the Dandelion Club account frozen?
Well, a penny earned is a penny saved.
As senior treasurer, I have decided
we need to save many many more pennies.
I need to pay my spod for my course work.
Oh! I'm sorry! You mean to tell me
you don't do your work yourself? Very funny.
Your very first essay. What's it on?
King Lear. 5,000 words.
Lear, eh? 'How sharper than a serpent's tooth
'It is to have a thankless child.'
If you miss your course work, I can recommend
you be put on academic probation. Do you know what that means?
A student on probation can't hold a position in college.
Hm! I'll be removed from the presidency.
That'll teach you not to be such an insufferable little shit.
OK! I'm sorry. I should never have lost the necklace.
Not good enough. Come on. Be serious.
We're friends. Good luck with your course work.
We can be...friends...
Look at that. So beautiful.
So remote.
But using the power of grief,
we can penetrate that ice-cold surface.
Aye. With our dicks.
You go first.
Sad, isn't it?
Oh, I'm sad.
I'm really sad!
It's really difficult getting them talking.
Maybe we'll have more luck at the funeral.
I wanted to introduce myself - Rosalind.
You're the girl standing against me in the election.
Yeah. Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Charlotte Arc.
Hello. You don't honestly think you can win?
Do you? Sorry?
Only we're two weeks into term,
and ask anyone who the most popular girl in college is. They'll say me.
On the other hand, ask who the least popular girl is,
and they won't say you, because no one knows who you are.
On the other hand,
maybe they'd prefer a student rep with some self-esteem -
who doesn't wear knee high boots and a mini skirt to a funeral, maybe.
Hi! Nice talking to you, Charlotte.
You know, I'm really going to enjoy making you look stupid.
Come on! I want to see some effort!
Carry that coffin. Come on.
♪ CONGREGATION SING HYMN 'Morning Has Broken'
♪ Praise for the sweetness... ♪
You have to make a move! This is when they're most sad!
See that little strawberry blonde?
Watch and learn.
♪ Mine is the sunlight Mine is the morning... ♪
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Sad, isn't it?
My little brother is dead.
Little Ross.
He loved to row, and he loved to travel.
But there was no corner of this world
that he loved more than our family home, Rose Park Manor.
It is in memory of Ross that I am renaming Rose Park Manor
Ross Manor.
Any of you who want to honour Ross's memory
may do so by giving money to Ross Manor.
I live in it, but it's for Ross.
God bless you all.
Well done.
You are all invited to the cremation ceremony by the river this evening.
Maddy - blades!
I think we both need cheering up.
Would you like to contribute? Ross used to talk about you quite a lot.
Oh, yes? He said he couldn't stand you, wished you were dead.
Looks like I won, then.
Look at him, all brotherly grief,
trying to work out how much money he can squeeze out of it.
Did you speak to Dr Cooper? Yeah.
I mean, it all checked out.
I think that if he takes the story to the press, he's gonna regret it in court. Yeah.
He's strange, though, isn't he? Cooper?
Oh, he's all right. He's a quiet sort, you know.
You don't see the bad in anyone, do you?
When's the after party? I dunno.
It does nae say there's an after party on it.
She came to see me.
Sorry, who?
The warden. The brother's going to the papers.
He's gonna try and blame me for Ross's death and...
Are you crying?
No. God no.
You didn't give anything away to the warden, did you?
It was fine, but Edmund, if the paper starts sniffing -
I'll deal with the brother.
And Linus? Yes?
We did our best. Remember that.
Can I have a word?
Well, that was my first time straight after a funeral.
Really? Not mine.
OK, Eeyore, I dodged the chat this morning.
Do you need me to be more clear?
Well, it would be nice.
Well, I have a rule.
I don't go out with people. What?
It just leads to commitment, doesn't it?
Well, that sort of the point.
Look, I'm young.
I'm beautiful, rich and ferociously clever.
Oh, cheer up.
At the moment, I want Theo Mackenzie.
Well, what if HE doesn't want that?
Come on, Theo. What are you going to do?
Give up on the most sought-after girl in college?
Come on, come back to bed.
I've got somewhere I need to be. What is your problem?
Maybe you are rich and beautiful.
But you're also - well, let's face it.
You're pretty cold. You're up yourself.
You've got these weird ideas, and despite all that...
I like you.
Now, I know that you're hoping that I'm thinking:
Oh, I've won the lottery. Or: This is my wildest dream.
But the fact is, a girl as up herself as you
wouldn't sleep with a guy for two weeks if she didn't have a good reason.
And what do you think that is?
You like me.
YOU like ME.
But whatever.
Hm!
You know, Theo, I was watching Trevor McDonald on the news last night.
What a professional.
Still at the top of his game after all these years in the business.
Fantastic.
Well done.
Rosalind?
I'm not doing it, Charlotte.
Come on, Mads. I know women develop new interests at university.
But grave robbing?! I don't want to rob Ross's grave.
Did you see the coffin?
There are oars resting on his body Blades, like in his note.
Theo, Ross left me a note before he died,
saying: Look under the blades.
We have to do it before tonight, before they cremate him.
So, how is Ross supposed to know what's hidden under the oars on his own dead body?
Thank you. Exactly.
All you have to do is stand guard. I'll be two minutes.
Listen to yourself. You're about to raid someone's coffin?
I'm a medical student. I see dead bodies every day.
What is the problem? (Oh, man.)
Look, Ross isn't your dad and your dad isn't Ross!
What? Theo!
Just because you feel bad about your dad dying,
it doesn't mean you have to do all this.
Wow, that is really clever, Theo (!)
And do think my dad dying changes the fact
that Ross left his last message in the whole world to me?
No.
So, Ross trusted me, and I have to find out what he meant,
because if I don't, then I have let someone down in his last, most desperate hour.
Right.
So, are you coming or not?
Why don't you just write your own coursework?
I don't know how.
The last one I did myself was called 'My Holiday'.
Excellent stuff, but there's nothing I can use.
Diddums!
Maybe it'll do you good to do some work for a change.
This Theo, I can't remember you having a relationship longer than a week.
You like him? None of your business.
Come on, you're family. It's all of our business.
Do you like him?
Yes. Well...
don't get too heavily involved. Daddy has plans for you.
Look, I need this essay. I've got books out of the library.
I don't need the books.
'Discuss Shakespeare's persistent identification of King Lear with the country he formerly ruled.'
It's pretty basic.
Then, what are we arguing about?
You'll help me out.
If you miss this coursework, they won't let you be Dandelion Club President.
But they will, because YOU will write it.
Dorian, if you'd come to me any other day I would have enjoyed keeping you in suspense.
But today's been horrid, so I'll just say no.
Ros. No.
No wonder your mum topped herself.
Dorian! Just saying.
Come on. Hurry up.
OK, are you ready?
You two wait out here. Don't let anyone near.
How are we supposed to stop people from getting in?
Tell them you're a funeral steward.
There.
What are we doing here, Theo? This is wrong.
I feel sick.
Come on, come on. Theo, Theo, Theo.
Is this where the coffin's being kept?
Here? Nah. Nah.
I know this is the place.
It seems my brother was laid to rest with his watch.
It was a family heirloom, worth almost £200.
Sorry. Nobody's here. Huh, bodies.
Can I just look inside?
It's more than my badge is worth. I'm a steward.
For the funeral.
Why would you be guarding a room in which there was no coffin?
You are on top of your game.
Let me in.
No. I am in a state of real grief.
And I don't need some little oik like you getting the way
of my very real fraternal grief on this bloody awful day!
Out of my way! You hear me? Out of my way!
Allow me to explain.
Come through the door, and to the edge.
Come to the edge. Dorian.
Sorry, bit brutal, but I am desperate.
Can you clearly see what I'm doing?
Quite clearly. Yes.
I am holding my shotgun to your horse's head,
to suggest that if you don't sit your sweet little bottom down
at your desk and write my coursework,
I will blow your beloved animal's brains out.
They'd expel you.
Rather that then spend my last two years as an ex-president.
Now, please, get writing.
It will be ready by supper.
Excellent.
Well done, Pegasus. You're a life-saver.
This is desecration.
Do you know that?
It is not only wicked and immoral, it's ungodly, ruddy ungodly!
I just don't understand what you were doing there.
What was she doing there?
It wasn't flower-arranging. Grave robbery?
Or some kind of sexual thing that...I can't think of.
No. It was nothing like that.
I was looking 'under the oars.'
Looking under the oars? What does that mean?
Thank you for your time, Charlotte. We can talk later.
I'm sorry.
I specifically told you not to.
I'm incredibly disappointed in you.
Is that all you're going to do? I want her expelled.
I want her reported to the police! Well, it's not going to happen.
It had bloody better. Or what?
You'll want another ten grand out of us?
Give it a break, you dreadful little man.
You come here and pretend to care about your poor brother.
You listen to me. You are not getting a penny of that money.
Bring the press - we'll be ready for them.
But I want you out. I am the warden of Trinity,
and we are not in the market for blackmail.
What are you talking about?
I've already got the money.
What?
Dr Maltravers wrote me a cheque earlier.
You know, I had this wild idea that you were the person in control here.
It turns out I've wasted my time talking to the college totty.
It is tradition that the Dandelion Club honour our fallen with a feast.
And a feast we shall have.
I must apologise. The power is down,
part of this budgetary crisis thing.
Still, we have wine and food.
Come on. This is a joke.
Yes, I'm afraid we weren't able to scrape much together.
I decided against the nuggets.
Still, we can raise a toast.
This, I am happy to announce, is a Pinot Grigio,
available at the very reasonable price of £6.99 a bottle.
Ross Bonham. Ross Bonham!
A case of our finest, please.
Why did you pay off Timothy Bonham?
For the good of the college. We don't want nasty stories in the press.
I had the situation under control.
The press could have made a stink - we would have handled it.
You should have brought the matter to me.
Right. So, that's what all this is about, undermining me?
As dean of this college, I prefer to be consulted.
You paid him £100,000? Mm-hm.
No. You don't want the press poking around, do you?
You're hiding something. Don't be preposterous.
I've been dean of this college for over 30 years.
I've guided us through more potential scandals than you've had lovers in influential positions.
Look, you don't get it, do you?
You are nothing unto this place.
You're just a pretty figurehead who doesn't understand the ship she fronts!
Delivery - Fuck off!
You control Trinity's public relations?
You're just a public relations stunt yourself!
I don't think I've ever seen you so angry.
It's fascinating.
Little shit.
Gentlemen, I bring gifts.
I heard you didn't have very much to eat.
So, I thought you might appreciate some wild boar.
Bloody marvellous.
And for the vegetarians amongst you, lobster.
Oh, dear.
And to wash it down I've selected a rather exquisite little Chateau la Fite,
from the deepest of Trinity's cellars.
I will also turn on the electricity.
All I need in return is the abdication of your president.
Gentlemen.
You face a dilemma.
Our dean has cut off our funding,
and now wishes your president to stand down
in order to get it back.
Well, let me see.
If I resign, what does that suggest?
That the Dandelion Club are nothing with our cash.
That we are simply a bunch of weak fops at sea
without our expensive home comforts.
But that is not what I see as I look before me.
I see a noble breed of heroes.
Men of the finest stock.
Reared on the fields of England's great public schools.
Superior beings.
Who do not need French cuisine or vintage wine to prove their worth.
This is our weekly dinner.
We have our wits to keep us warm,
our friendship to sustain us,
and out there, in the beautiful Bridgeford night,
lie hundreds of college girls eager to satisfy our appetites.
Should we be patronised by this old man?
This bureaucrat?
No. This wine may only cost £6.99,
but...
..it has the taste of freedom.
Down with the dean!
OK, let's go. One, two, three, lift.
Ross! Ross Bonham.
Agh.
To Ross!
So...
about earlier. Yeah?
We can erm...
be girlfriend and boyfriend. If you like.
And who says I wanna do that?
Are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?
You know, Theo was right.
My dad's death getting to me.
Do you know, two weeks ago I actually thought I saw him.
Like a ghost? Yeah.
Wow.
And then today, I break into a coffin, desecrate a corpse,
and the all the while I think I'm doing the right thing.
Maddy, do you think I'm going mad? No, Charlotte.
Look, what you're doing now, it might look a bit mental,
but it's just like...
you're growing a little scab or have your arm in plaster.
It's just what you have to do to get better.
Hm?
A hundred grand. What is Maltravers frightened of?
He's definitely hiding something.
Yes, well, we should find out what it is.
That simple, is it? The way I see it.
It's cold, isn't it?
Have my - No, don't be silly.
Oh. Look at that.
That really is quite beautiful.
Yeah.
Yeah. It's nice.
'What have they done to you?'
Voodoo!
Give me an 'R'! ALL: 'R'!
Give me an 'O'! 'O'!
I really want to be your girlfriend.
Awesome.
If you're here to see your heir - Perish the thought.
I avoid Dorian wherever possible.
Do you understand?!
Yes.
This whole college is rotten, from the bottom to the very top.
Especially the top.
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